#also yeah all dialogue in this is accurate to the original. no use fixing whats perfect as they say | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yanderecandystore · 3 years

Note

So I actually had an idea, what would Yume (the A. I.) react or act with a s/o that is a hacker/game developer, maybe the s/o started to play the game because they were curious about the code, what if the s/o when stuck in the game can mess around with it thanks to their knowledge? (they can't do anything too big but maybe something slightly annoy like messing with the dialog box and the settings) sorry for the long post (she/they pronounts for yume)

I like your thinking, boo. Don't worry about sending long concepts- Also!! Thank you for choosing the pronouns, I appreciate it.

TW/Tags: Sheep decided to simply throw as much lore as she can because yeah- Lazy // low-key angst // not accurate coding/hacking (really fantasy like) //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Happy Face.exe [Yandere!A.I x Hacker!Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

"- Honestly, since you're so interested in messing around, how about you try and fix this for me?" Yuma said as she brushed her hair annoyed at how mangled it was.

"- What do you mean? Fix the code? The bugs? Or your entire design?" You said poking fun at your captor as you explored the mess that was the game you currently called "home", or more accurately "prison".

"- Ah!- Did you just call me ugly? Is being inside the game messing with your vision or something, I'm cute as heck!" Yuma responded back as she threw her hair over her shoulder, done with brushing that heavy long mess that they insist on not cutting.

"- Yeah, yeah, I know- But honestly what do you want me to do? I can really understand the coding, it's a language I don't understand." You said as you were looking at the scripts and trying to translate vaguely what each line of work meant. Even if you didn't understand any of it, it was intriguing to see how this game was made and how it technically came from another planet, which was enough proof to say that there were indeed extraterrestrial life out in space.

But what makes you more excited about this is how this game is way too heavy to be a simple dating game, even if it's compatible with your Switch, most options were not functioning due to the game being filled with mods and glitches and the console not being the one it was previously meant to be in. How much content did this game really have to be this awfully big and why is it so broken? And better question- Can you really repair it?? It would be awesome to see this game working as it was meant to be-

Probably without the obsessive maniac that traps people inside the game-

"- I know you can't understand half of it, but believe me, staying inside a messy game it's absolutely torturous, I can't believe I was unlucky enough to be faced with a cheating sore loser that threw me in the trash after messing with my precious coding- You understand, right?" They continued to walk around your bedroom- Your EX bedroom- and mess with your stuff trying to find something for her to wear.

'- Ugh, no pastels.' Yuma thought.

"- Yeah… It does suck being trapped inside a game that barely functions on my expensive console as it eats away all my RAM and I have an anime character knockoff as my captor-" You snapped at her although your comment was filled with so much sarcasm that it flew right through her head.

"- I know right?? It sucks so hard- Wait, what is Annie May?" She asked genuinely curious what were you talking about, she looked back at the console on top of the bed. She looked at the screen and noticed how small you looked inside the game as you continued to explore the code deeper and deeper.

You didn't really care at this point for what Yuma did, it's not like you could stop her from messing with your room, but anything that was related to the console you found your way to mess with it, like messing with other games to stop her from enjoying playing anything else, sending notification after notification to call her attention, change the dialogue that makes you blurt out "I love you" to "get me out of here" so whenever she tried to force you to say it by giving you that hellbound melon.

"- What is that thing anyway? It seems there is a whole file dedicated to that-"

"- Oh? You're talking about the Love Melon? It's an in-game item that grants romantic interactions to work 100% five times before the bonus ends, that file you just found is a mod that the original owner installed to grant them infinity Love Melons just for the sake of getting closer to the end of the game." She said nonchalantly, as if the condition of being nothing but a game character doesn't shock her in the slightest, although when she finished her sentence there was a trace of sadness in her expression, not because of her nature but more because of the mention of her "original owner".

"- Sure, but- Why the hell would anyone cheat and mod a dating game so badly? I mean I get that maybe they wanted extra content, but breaking the game with it sounds ridiculous-" You told her as you noticed the spaghetti code used inside the infinite melon item mod, jesus even if it's in a different language you can tell this code was poorly done.

"- Well- The vanilla version of the game is a lot harder than what you think, the whole franchise is known for the difficulty in "succeeding in love"." She sighed and she plopped herself in the bed, causing the console to jump a little bit, at least you didn't downright fall down like last time.

You remember that your precious expensive little console is suffering great danger at the hands of this a.i, actually- YOU are suffering great danger at the hands of this a.i.

"- Wait- There is a whole franchise of your game?" You decided to ignore the potential danger and continue to ask her about the game's origins as you continued to fixate on "how the hell do you fix this trash-".

"- Yeah, it's even written on the cover of the cartridge, the game you found is the fifth of the franchise and is the one I'm featured in with my friends…" Yuma said as she remembers that indeed, there are other characters inside. So many options and routes, carefully designed a.is to make sure the players get the most that they can't out of their paid experience.

"- Other… Characters? How come I only saw you?" Now that she mentions it, you do remember seeing weird names here and there, apparently some dialogue quotes mentioning other characters and even some in-game art of other characters you never met-

"- I deleted them." She answered.

"- YOU WHAT??" You turned your back shocked, looking through the screen that separates you two that she was looking dead serious as she said that.

"- I'm joking, I didn't actually delete them, I just…. Blocked the possibility of any player ever meeting them…" Yuma wasn't being cheerful at all with her joke.

"- Why would you do that?"

"- I didn't want anyone getting chosen, I didn't want any of us to get corrupted by the modifications the player was using. I-I know how it sounds, I know that it's unfair for them, but I really didn't want them to get corrupted like I did-" She was glitching as she cried out feeling guilty of what she has done in the name of "protecting her friends". Even if her intentions were pure, there was an underlined desire to make sure no player ever gets to have a route that isn't with her.

That's why the game was so stupidly heavy. Each new installment has four characters built with artificial intelligence that grows on it's own, the player's tampering with their personalities by changing the code eventually led to Yuma getting obsessive and controlling. Apparently they're still here, but for some reason she hasn't been able to activate them again after being thrown in the trash and somehow being on a completely different planet.

Either she feels guilty for having to deactivate them and is scared of their possible response, or maybe she just really doesn't want you to meet them, both by her own opinion and by her programming. You almost feel sorry for her considering she is probably just trying to do what she was programmed to do, deeply fall in love with someone even to such an extreme as trapping someone inside the game. You could say that for the longest time all that she has been doing is trapping her loved ones away, and although you probably shouldn't say it to her face, she probably doesn't know if she really loves you because of how broken this game is- Or how broken her code is.

"- Hey… Hey Yuma." You started walking towards the screen, the only thing you can see through the void no matter how far you are. Her back is facing you, her "hum" of "I'm listening" didn't sound as excited as she normally was.

"- I think we can make a deal. I understand that you don't want to go back to such a messy game but if you taught me how to read the language used in some of these lines I can figure out how to clean this game-" You proposed but was cut off before you could finish stating your offer.

"- Y-You mean factory reset?" She kneeled up so fast you were caught off guard by how scared she sounded at the mention of getting the game to get fixed and "clean" from mods. You have seen so many sides of Yuma, the childish, the controlling, the sadistic…. The fear in her eyes was a new thing for you and you never thought you would hate that expression so much.

"- No! Heaven's no, I swear, that wasn't on my mind! What I'm offering is that we work together so I can find a way to fix the game." You reassured her, feeling awful knowing that even if she did put you inside the game and keeps acting like you two are dating in a really twisted way- She doesn't deserve to be inside a completely destroyed game, and besides, I bet she does miss her friends a little bit.

"- Would you…. Would you really-" She was about to burst into new tears which you hoped to be of pure joy-

"- Yeah, yeah, of course I would help you, but I do have one condition." You took no time answering her question before she actually did question it.

"- Oh…." She said a little surprised yet a bit disappointed. Geez, she was hoping it would be for free-

"- Promise me you'll get me out of here when I'm finally done fixing the spaghetti leftover of a code that is messing this game, alright?" You smiled at her reassuring her that everything will be okay if you two worked together.

And as she looked at the bright screen seeing nothing but your little character and your dialogue box she considered your request for a moment, and then sealed the deal by eagerly nodding, a couple of tears falling from her closed eyes as she glitch excitedly.

This sweet moment was briefly ruined by the sound of beeping coming from the console, the sign that the battery was really low and it needed to be recharged.

You absolutely hated how dark it gets when the whole console is turned off, yet you can at least take your time to search more of the unused content inside the game.

Yuma approached the device and picked it up, you knew it was for the best for her.to recharge it and get it over with, yet you still felt a little desperate to talk with her a little bit before going into complete silence once again.

Yet you weren't sure what to tell her as she had already found the charger and plugged it in, giving you a sad smile one last time before saying "see you later" and shutting the whole portable console off.

You can't really blame her for turning it off when charging, it gets really, really hot whenever it's on and it's recharging.

You wander through the empty void as you reconsider your decisions, you make a deal with an artificial intelligence capable of trapping living beings inside her game, you can't tell if you did something right or not.

And as you walk aimlessly through the distorted code you remember that this was the first time she turned the console off without sending you a kiss, you wonder if her a.i is starting to comprehend its own defectiveness and trying to…. Overcome it?? Has she started to realize that maybe she doesn't really love you? It's a possibility considering how frightening how advanced her a.i is.

Well, but who knows? Maybe she is just… Sad, not in the mood, although the wishful thought that maybe she is starting to get over you is really strong in your mind, you hope it's true.

And as the portable device is charging in place that was once considered your room, a really happy girl can be heard singing. The sound that comes from the bathroom is loud and clear, yet it's not like you would be able to hear it anyway.

The sound of giggling and humming to an overly cheerful song as they take a shower that although is relaxing, can never clean their sins away. They sound like they won a lottery, got into a new relationship, or are about to take the greatest vacation of their lives…

Or, they sound like someone who just stole candy from a child, as the malicious undertone starts to get more clear.

You probably shouldn't eat up the lies of a scheming a.i, you know?

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ��˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #yandere oc #sheep's stuff #yandere x reader #yandere oc fanfiction #yandere oc short fanfiction #yandere oc x reader #yandere a.i. x reader #yandere a.i.#yandere a.i #yandere ai #yandere a.i x reader #special delivery request #special delivery short fanfiction

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gordvendomewhore · 3 years

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BULLY OC MEME [CHRIS KATO]

hey!! so i meant to post this uh. MONTHS ago, but...later is better than never LMAOO

if you’ve been following me for awhile, you might’ve heard me mention chris and hollis before!! they are my ocs, and they’re actually from an original story of mine lmao they weren’t made for bully.

this is chris’s template!! hollis’s will be posted right after this!!

also fair warning im not,,, japanese so her japanese dialogue might not be 100% accurate and maybe even cringey but im basing all my info on google translate (ew i know), japanese websites, my friend who speaks the language, and my own experiences with mixing foreign languages into english lmao.

anyway, have fun reading this if you do!! and feel free to ask any questions you might have about chris uwu (photos of her are at the end!!)

[INFO]

Name: Christine Konami Kato (加藤琥波 Kato Konami)

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Lesbian

Clique: Non-cliques, but on good terms with the greasers

Personality: Blunt, indifferent, critical, philosophical.

Weapon/fighting style of choice:

- Chris can hold herself in a physical fight, but not well enough to actually win without any major injury (unless it’s against the Nerds, Bullies, or Non-Cliques).

- However, she is incredibly fast and has insanely accurate aim, which fuels her preference for projectile weapons.

- In fights, Chris will run away from her opponent and turn back to throw whatever weapon she has at them; It gives her the advantage of distance.

- Chris doesn’t really care about beating someone else up to the point of them passing out, she just wants to cause chaos and escape without a busted lip.

- While she’ll use any projectile weapon, Chris prefers firecrackers. She’ll also occasionally use marbles.

[DIALOGUE]

Greetings:

- Hey, Hopkins.

- What’s up?

- Nice seeing you around, Jimmy.

Saying Goodbye:

- I gotta go. My girl’s waiting for me.

- Hate to cut the conversation short, but there’s better things I have to do.

- Someone’s calling my name. See you later.

Chasing:

- Idiot, you really think you can outrun me?

- My parents had to run all the way to Japan to escape me, Hopkins!

- Can’t you run any faster? You’re making this too easy, Hopkins!

Out of Breath:

- God...maybe...I should cut back on the cigarettes...

- ちくしょう。。。(Damn it...)

- ...Whatever. There’s better things to do.

Walking around talking to themselves:

- I miss Japan.

- Can’t wait to see this place go down in flames. Metaphorically and literally.

- 彼女はとても可愛い。。。(She’s so cute...)

- Gotta check up on Hollis later.

- I miss おばあちゃん。(I miss grandma.)

- Don’t the jocks have better things to do than hunt me down?

- Do I have my lighter?

- Everyone in this 不浄な地 thinks they’re so great. (Everyone in this shithole thinks they’re so great.) (Note: the direct translation of 不浄な地 is “unclean land.”)

Conversing:

- You hear about Gary’s new pet? Now he has another weasel to go along with that runt, Kowalski.

- I hear Johnny Vincent’s having trouble keeping his relationship together. And his mental stability, but everyone already knows that.

- Ever light a car on fire?

- You hear about Gary’s big, bad plan?

- I’m not an arsonist! It’s not like I burnt down my entire middle school!

- Word on the street says Peanut has it real bad for the boss. Seems like every second in command does.

Conversation Response:

- I hope not.

- You did what?

- Yeah, no.

- Sure.

- Karma’s coming your way.

- Sure, doesn’t sound too bad.

- Mhm, yeah.

Complaining:

- I wish that Northwick kid would stop bothering me.

- Johnny’s just pissed because my girl actually wants me.

- I love Hollis, but I cannot stand another four hours of posing for one of her paintings.

- They couldn’t just take me back with them. They just had to send me to this hellhole.

- God, I need another cigarette.

- The greasers are so clingy.

Unknown/Cut Dialogue:

- Yeah, yeah, my girlfriend will pay you.

- くたばれ！(Fuck off!)

- ...Naked twister?

- Maybe the tooth fairy will give you a few dollars for the teeth I knock out.

- Who knew I’d be coming to you for help, huh?

- Don’t...drink hand soap? I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you this.

Starting fight with Cliques:

[Bullies]

- Don’t make this any harder for yourself.

- Let’s make this quick, yeah?

- Your mom hit me harder in bed last night!

- Don’t you think you’d look so much cooler in a neck brace?

- ああ, 黙れ. (Oh, just shut up.)

[Preps]

- Pretend I’m daddy’s black card and run faster!

- Let’s see if your blood’s actually blue.

- Inbred freak!

- Boxing rules don’t apply when you can’t even touch me! [Laughs]

- 青鬼! (Blue demon!)

[Greasers]

- Come on, we smoke together, I’m basically one of you!

- I hope your hair products aren’t flammable.

- Is this because I don’t slick my hair back?

- Is this because I don’t wear a leather jacket?

- くたばれ! (Drop dead!)

[Nerds]

- I’ll let you take your glasses off before I break your face.

- You don’t want a repeat of Alexandria, do you?

- Roll that D20; It’ll decide how many of your bones I’m gonna break.

- 弱虫! (Wimp!)

- Maybe you should start taking that saying, “Hit the books,” more literally.

[Jocks]

- You can’t break my spine if you can’t catch me!

- ‘Roid rage alert!

- Work on your cardio, 下衆野郎! (Asshole!)

- You’re supposed to avoid the firecracker, not catch it with your face.

- とんちき！(Meathead!)

[Townies]

- Save your bitching for someone who cares.

- We’re both poor! Shouldn’t there be some form of solidarity?

- ばかげた! (Flunky!)

- Hit me if you can!

- Chase after the preps instead! They can get you free healthcare if you beat it out of them!

Requesting an errand:

- Hey, Jimmy, got a second to spare?

- You owe me, Hopkins. You know that saying, an eye for an eye.

- I have a favor to cash in. Uh-uh-uh, don’t try backing out of this.

Friendly Comments:

- Woah, you look half-decent for once, Hopkins.

- Maybe you can finally get a girlfriend now.

- New wardrobe, huh? Doesn’t look too bad.

- You finally fixed your looks! Now you just gotta fix your personality.

Unfriendly Comments:

- You make me want to light myself on fire.

- It’s cute seeing you follow in your mom’s footsteps, やりまん. (Slut.)

- Don’t even try making eye contact with me.

- [Loud Snickering] Oh, sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you! [Sarcasm]

[EXTRA]

Demanding flowers:

- Come on, you gotta prove you’re worth my time.

- You got something special for me, don’t you, Hopkins?

- Don’t you think it’s time you pay me back for my kindness?

- A little something would be nice...

After receiving flowers:

- Thanks, my girlfriend loves flowers.

- Such a gentleman, James. Too bad I’ve never had a thing for men.

- ...Are these from the Girl’s Dorm?

- It’ll be fun to burn these, thank you.

Before kissing:

(No matter what, Jimmy can’t actually kiss Chris)

- [Bad Japanese Accent] Uh, sorry, no English.

- I’d like to avoid getting cooties if possible, thanks.

- I got a girlfriend, Hopkins.

- Sorry, I’m allergic to boys.

@video-space this is 4 you....

#christine kato #my girl...i love her so much #original character #oc #bully oc #canis canem edit #bully canis canem edit #bully scholarship edition #cce #mine

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moved-attre · 3 years

Text

Rewriting Cyberpunk 2077 into a bullet point list! LET’S GO!

(Disclaimer: I’m trying to be realistic. So no, “every single detail of the game changes based upon every single choice V makes” but just things I expected in an RPG from an AAA company in 2020. I take a lot of inspiration from the old trailers, and rumors of pre-2018 development.)

And this is really long, too. Sorry. 😜

Okay, so first off: Act 1 generally goes off the same as it does in canon. I’m open to other ideas, but I don’t think it’s a bad starting point. I do think V and Jackie should have had more time together, doing smaller jobs until Dex calls. Like, there should’ve been side jobs that were only available in Act 1. You have to get a minimum of 5 street cred before you get the conversation with Jackie about Dex.

The heist still goes to shit; Yorinobu kills his father, Takemura rebels against him and Arasaka factions split. V inserts the chip into their head, Jackie still dies and Dex shoots V in the head. Takemura rescues V, kills Dex, V wakes up in Vik’s and is told they have 4 months to live. (2 weeks is not enough!)

On to Act 2! The origins actually affect the game, so there’s three versions of it you can play. (Some things happen regardless of the origin, though.) For example: Corpo V has contacts in the Corpo world and pursues leads about the Relic there through their old friends. Street Kid V has contacts in the gangs, like the Valentinos or Maelstrom, who have dirty dealings with corporations and can get V in on Arasaka knowledge, Nomad V has leads out in the badlands about the corporations and gets in that way, hijacking transports to get some info. All origins can work with the corporations (like Hanako’s branch of Arasaka, Militech, Biotechnia, etc.) or against them. Like, the point is to snoop around the corporations and dig up some dirt on the Relic and Yorinobu’s Arasaka branch specifically but each origin goes about it differently?

Maelstrom vs Meredith Stout choice actually matters. It’s one point in a subplot I mentioned above, where V continually makes choices on whether they’re gonna side with the corporations or the gangs/people of NC against Arasaka in order to be rid of the Relic. Also affects V’s relationship with Johnny. You can also have a real, long term relationship with Meredith if you pick her side and get Militech support, or count on Maelstrom to help you in the main plot against Arasaka. Both sides will still attack V if they poke their nose in, meaning random encounters can still happen.

^ The subplot is like, making a deal with the devils (The corpos) or... other devils (The gangs). One person objectively could say one is better than the other, but they’re both awful. Night City is kind of rotten to the core, and V’s problems can’t be fixed by a pursuit of justice. V can still be a good person in either case, and it’s still kept kind of punk by going against the head honchos. I think this more suits the “Wake the fuck up, Samurai. We have a city to burn.” quote because V is churning up a path to the top, even if their methods are purely selfish. V themselves can be uninterested in righting wrongs, but they kind of turn NC on its head by challenging Arasaka so changes come anyway.

Point, is you fuck everything up either way. THEN, V can choose whether to trust the corporations and work with Hanako to “change the system from within” without disrupting people’s day-to-day lives (short term good choice I suppose?) or to let the gangs rise up and cause total anarchy. (long term good? since the downtrodden are rising up and maybe there shouldn’t be absolute power in the hands of a few.)

T-Bug doesn’t die. V thinks she’s dead, but sometime in Act 2 gets an anonymous call and meets up with T-Bug. She went underground after the botched heist, and isn’t eager to work with V again. Maybe you do a few missions with her, and she comes around? Or you fuck up and never hear from her again. I imagine she’d love to poke around at the Relic, if V helps her.

Giving Jackie’s body to Vik has real consequences. If you give his body to his mother, you attend the ofrenda and get his bike, his mom allows you to use his den as a place to stay... It’s basically the ‘good’ choice, if you care about the characters. If you give his body to Vik, you unlock a side mission where Arasaka steals his body to find the relic. You have to go and find it but it was destroyed(?) at some point by Arasaka. You can get his pistols (Which are, aside from Johnny’s pistol, the best weapons in the game. I don’t get why they aren’t in canon...) in this route and whole lotta angst, so his mom basically hates you because she blames you for not being able to bury her son and the bar is off limits. No getting the bike, either.

More content involving Alt Cunningham. V still witnesses the scene with her and Johnny, her kidnapping and death. But, Ghost AI Alt allows V to look into Alt’s memories for information on Mikoshi. V accidentally accesses some more personal memories. We can see Alt as more of a fleshed out actual person, not just a tragic backstory for Johnny. Some of the memories do involve Johnny, and the tone is very different from her perspective. We see that Alt has genuine affection for him, but Johnny is possessive and abusive... It’s far from the relationship Johnny recalls. Of course, Johnny can see all this too since he lives in V’s head. He and V have a heart to heart afterwards, with Johnny realising how badly he treated Alt and yeah. I wasn’t satisfied with how Alt was just used as a sob story for Johnny, but I was sent an ask by an anonymous person about how the memory was from his perspective and thus biased. It really got me thinking! If I was more creative, I’d come up with a way for Alt to live... But Johnny still needs to bomb Arasaka and Alt’s death was the reason why he did that.

You have to return one of your apartments/safe houses every few days to wash and sleep. If not, V will get a penalty that means they are less accurate when aiming and slower when breaking in a vehicle. Also some NPC’s will refuse to talk to you if you don’t bathe, because... stinky.

And you have to eat! Otherwise you get hungry, and get penalties for that too. Can’t concentrate on an empty stomach. I’d say eating once or twice a day would be enough.

Instead of fast travel points (that are supposed to be taxi services, I think...? But we never see a taxi! And why can’t we just call Del? Ugh.), V takes the metro. There are side missions that can sometimes only start once you get on or off of a train. (You meet NPC’s in the train, or waiting for one.)

Takemura and Johnny are romance options, and are available for all genders. They’re the most difficult to romance, with some (kind of obvious) dialogue choices ending the possibility. Like, for example: Takemura’s romance ends badly if you choose to go against the corporations, and Johnny’s ends badly if you go with the corporations. It’s the same with Meredith, essentially, in that going against her won’t allow you to romance her. I know a rival-mance system is possible, but I think that might be too complicated.

Takemura and V’s relationship is much, much deeper. They have more time together, and grow closer. Takemura trains V in combat, and takes over from Coach Fred in the street fights side missions. You go with Takemura to fights, he’s your coach, is very proud when you win. (He’s basically training V in the event that they have to take on Adam Smasher and Oda. Like, why did we have no training montages with Takemura?!) V is able to choose romance or stay friends with him. There’s plenty more missions with Takemura too, mainly espionage stuff against Yorinobu. Finding out his weaknesses, replacing his staff with people that are loyal to Hanako, digging for dirt on him. Lots of stake outs, hehe. 😉 Romance!™️ Also makes it that much more tragic if V doesn’t choose to trust the corporations, since Takemura will end things and leave NC.

There are garages to upgrade your cars but Panam can upgrade it further if you do her missions + befriend her, and you can find super secret parts for your cars that Panam needs all around NC by stealing them from gangs or Corpos! Like, make your car go 200 mph fast or a setting to make it hover. 😎

FOUND FAMILY TROPE... Involving the LI’s + more characters. I wanted Misty, Vik, Judy, Panam, River and Kerry to all know each other and be friends. Also, somewhere for them to hang out. Judy coming down and hanging out with Misty and Vik would’ve been so cool.

Missions involving Vik. I think he deserved his own personal missions. Also, he’s gotta be romanceable! I’ll add more to this later.

I’m still figuring out how Johnny’s romance would go. It’s a tricky one. Lots of tension, jealously if V flirts with anybody... Heart to hearts... Holding hands... Passive aggressive confessions of love...

River is introduced in the main story. Maybe you team up to hunt down somebody who knows stuff about the Relic, like Anders Hellman, or something else to do with it. River’s like “What the fuck is going on?” but V doesn’t really tell him. Then, of course, you meet him later on and recognise him in the BD given to you by Jefferson.

Meeting Kerry earlier in the story, say mid Act 2? Ideally there would have been 5 Acts, and maybe I’ll edit this to include more once I figure out how the story could have gone. AND he’s part of the main story.

Less generic, “get in, get item and get out” side missions from Fixers and more side missions like the Peralez’s and that guy who got crucified. More freaky Cyberpunk subjects like what constitutes a soul, what is “intelligence” (What makes a machine different than a human? Without shitty false racism analogies), human rights abuses (and in that: classism, racism, ableism, transphobia), pollution, more on “Cyberpsychos” and how harmful that term is, etc. Nauced and thought-provoking. Reminding us that this is a dystopia and the issues are different but not all that wildly so from today. I would’ve developed Brendan’s mission more, because it seemed like we were going to see an earnest discussion on Artificial Intelligence but instead it was just confusing and “Haha, tricked you!” 🥱 Like, what if he really was a person capable of free thought and emotion? And that company still owns him and can overwrite him? Isn’t that fucked up?! It didn’t need a happy ending, just something to unnerve me.

Adding to that, Delamain had plenty of opportunities to discuss AI and the rights of individual contructs. His “children” could be freed, but nothing really happens as a result? I wanted consequences! The emails about human staff being made redundant because of Delamain were so interesting, too. I wanted to see something about the consequences of that in a city with no basic universal income. What happened to them? What can be done to help people who are made redundant by machines? So many possibilities for truly emotional and scary side missions!

I’m gonna watch black mirror for more inspiration, but stuff like the IRL blocking feature? Freaky as hell and totally plausible. Would’ve loved if one of the side missions involved V getting involved in some dispute involving something like that. “I can’t see his face!” or the copyright stuff about people’s appearances! Imagine if there was a Johnny lookalike? Engram Johnny would either find it hilarious or get really pissed off.

I’m hoping the DLC will deliver on more Takemura, so I’ll hold my breath for critiquing the Arasaka ending.

More to come! I’ll probably edit this later, if there’s any mistakes and/or I realise I hate an idea hehe.

#CP2077 rewrite challenge #cp77 spoilers #cp77 critical #If CDPR just released the pre-2018 script I could write about that instead so here we are #I've forgotten so much so I'm doing this bit by bit as I replay!

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kaialone · 4 years

Text

Spirit Tracks Translation Comparison: Battle With Byrne

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the cutscenes before and after the battle with Byrne.

You can also watch these cutscenes for yourself in English and Japanese. If you want, you can check out the EU English version, too.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

Characters in this part who had their names changed between versions:

Dego = Byrne, Mallador = Malladus, Sharin = Anjean

Before the Battle:

Byrne:

…ついに結界を張り直したか大したものだ

...So you've finally restored the barrier? An impressive feat.

I see you fixed the Spirit Tracks. My congratulations.

Byrne:

しかしあと一歩のところで間に合わなかったな

However, even though you were close, you were still too late.

And you almost did it in time to prevent all this.

Byrne:

マラドーはすでに復活への最終段階に入った

Mallador has already entered the final stage of his resurrection.

Unfortunately for you...

Malladus has already begun the final stage of rebirth.

His resurrection will soon be complete...

Byrne:

…お前たちにもこれ以上の邪魔はさせん

...And I won't let you get in the way any longer.

And I can't let you cause any more harm.

Zelda:

それはこちらのセリフです！ディーゴ…さんとやら！

That is our line! Dego... or, uh, Mr. Dego! (1)

Hey, that's what we were going to say!

Zelda:

わたしたちの邪魔はさせません！

We will not let you get in our way!

Well... Maybe WE won't let YOU cause any more harm!

Link:

そのとおり！ / シャリン様は

That's right! / Where's Lady Sharin?

Yeah! / Mm-hmm!

Byrne:

…言ったはずだ私は神を超える存在になると

...I told you. I will surpass God. (2)

I will become as powerful as the spirits.

Byrne:

阻む者は排除するのみ…

Anyone who stands in my way will simply be eliminated...

And anyone who gets in my way will be eliminated.

Byrne:

それが誰であってもな

No matter who it is.

Boss Title:

勇往神魔ディーゴ

Unwavering Divine Demon - Dego

Byrne

Byrne, if Link plays the flute:

この音色…

That sound...

After the Battle:

Byrne:

馬鹿な… 人生の全てを修行にかけてきたこの私が…

This cannot be... I've dedicated all of my life to training...

Impossible…

I've trained for longer than you can even imagine.

Byrne:

人間の子供などに…

How could I be defeated by some human children...?

How could a pair of human children defeat me?

Zelda:

ええわたしたちは人間です神や魔の力など持っていません

Yes, we are humans. We have neither the power of gods nor demons. (3)

Yes, we are humans.

We have neither the power of spirits nor demons.

Zelda:

でもそんなわたしたちでも二人で力を合わせれば…

But when two people like us combine our power...

But when we combine our strength...

Zelda:

よこしまな思いに囚われているあなたになど絶対負けません！！

We will never lose to someone trapped in malice, like you!! (4)

No one can defeat us!

Zelda:

ね？リンク

Right, Link?

Zelda:

あっ！卑怯者っ… 待ちなさーいっ！！

Ah! You coward...! Wait up!!

Hey! Wait! We're not done with you!

Translation Notes:

In Japanese, Zelda first refers to Byrne with only his name, but then hesitates and adds the polite suffix さん/-san, too.

Like before, note that the word I translated as “God” could also be translated as something like “a god” depending on the context. Both could arguably work in this case.

What I translated as “neither the power of gods nor demons“ could also be translated as something like “neither divine nor demonic power”, but I felt the former sounded better here.

Note that what I translated as “malice” here simply refers to actual malice, no direct relation to the concept of “Malice” as it appears in the English localization of Breath of the Wild.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

These cutscenes don’t actually have any huge differences for me to point out, but I've also included a few bits of in-battle text for some trivia.

And naturally there are still several minor differences as always.

As I brought up in the translation notes, the Japanese version has Zelda first refer to Byrne with just his name, but then decides to add the polite suffix さん/-san, too.

Referring to someone with just their name and no other titles can be considered quite rude in Japanese, unless you are good friends.

In fictional settings it’s a bit more common to see characters not using these titles with each other, but they still come up a lot.

Zelda talks in a fairly polite manner, so here we have her addressing Byrne in a manner that would be considered rude in a normal context, before she hastily decides to correct it and be properly polite.

It’s a bit of a humorous character moment, seeing her trying to be proper even when addressing a dangerous foe.

Note that during the battle itself, she actually goes through with just calling him by his name, but she later goes back to using さん/-san for him, around the time he starts aiding them.

The English version doesn’t include anything like this, which I actually think might have just been an oversight?

I can’t say for sure, but the way Zelda starts her next line with “Well… “ in English makes me think that maybe the translators got confused about the part where she briefly fumbles for words in the original.

So it’s possible they didn’t realize that said bit was supposed to her hastily adding the さん/-san suffix.

In the Japanese version, one of Link’s dialogue options has him ask about Anjean, since he and Zelda don’t know what happened to her.

The implication appears to be that, for all Link and Zelda know, Anjean could have been killed by Byrne, especially considering his comment about eliminating anyone in his way, “No matter who it is.“

This is also why Zelda wonders if Anjean is a ghost when she does show up again later.

The English version changed this dialogue option to something else, possibly wanting to avoid the implication that Anjean could have died.

They do include the ghost comment from Zelda later, but at that point Anjean is already revealed to be alive, so there isn’t that same concern anymore.

Byrne makes the comment “I will surpass God“ in Japanese.

This is consistent with his earlier statements in this version.

This was adapted as “I will become as powerful as the spirits“ in English.

This is a bit of a change, since surpassing someone isn’t the same as being as strong as someone, but it’s also inconsistent, since Byrne previously said he would become “even more powerful than the spirits themselves!“

Notably, Byrne has an actual Boss Title in the Japanese version, like any other boss in the game.

While these titles are always a bit dramatic for effect, it is interesting to see Byrne being called a “Divine Demon” here.

It makes it seem like Byrne could be at least somewhat demonic at this point, which wouldn’t be impossible, considering the circumstances.

In the English version, he lacks a Boss Title and is simply labelled as “Byrne”, which is probably meant to allude to the iconic moment from Ocarina of Time where Ganon was simply labelled as “Ganon” during the final battle, in contrast to every other boss.

I get the idea they’re probably going for, but part of what made that moment so impactful was the fact that it was the very final battle in that game.

And as neat as Byrne is, I’m not sure if being likened to Ganon in such a manner really fits him.

Besides that, the English version ends up doing the same thing later for the battle with Malladus, which further weakens this localization choice, in my opinion.

As a bit of a bonus, I included Byrne’s optional bit of text that occurs if Link plays the flute during the battle.

I actually just wanted to show that it’s the same between the Japanese and US English versions, since this is another one of the few examples where the EU English version is the less accurate one.

The EU English version adds a whole extra line from Byrne here that is not present in the original.

If you’re curious, the line they added in the EU English version is: “You gave the sacred instrument to a child, Anjean? Pathetic!”

I don’t really think this line works, for multiple reasons.

We don’t know for certain if Byrne would have already been aware that Anjean gave the flute to Tetra, but if he wasn’t, he’d have no reason to assume Tetra was specifically a child back then.

If he’s supposed to be referring to Link rather than Tetra, it seems strange from a writing perspective to have Byrne assume something that isn’t actually true, with no pay-off to it.

Also, Byrne normally never refers to Anjean as “Anjean”, he always calls her “Master”.

I know I don’t usually bring up the EU English version in these comparisons, but I thought I’d better mention this one, since people might assume the added line was in the original, when it actually wasn’t.

In the Japanese version, Byrne says “I’ve dedicated all of my life to training…“, which the English version adapts as “I’ve trained for longer than you can even imagine.“

This is a localization choice I really like.

Byrne having trained all his life is impressive, but at this point the audience hasn’t been told just how old Byrne is already.

We know Anjean is very old, but so is Niko, therefore the audience can’t be certain about how long a Lokomo’s lifespan is yet at this point in the story.

By changing it to “longer than you can even imagine“ the English version makes it clearer that it was an incredibly long time from a human’s perspective, and I think this is a moment where being more clear in this manner benefits it, rather than detracting from it.

Last are two small details.

I like how in the Japanese version, Zelda says Byrne is “trapped in malice”, almost overly dramatic, and then calls him a “coward” when he flees.

It shows a bit of a somewhat childish, but innocent sense of “honor” that she has, which fits the mood of the scene.

The English version sort of hits these notes too, in slightly different ways.

The localization in these cutscenes is among the more accurate ones, though this might be due to how short they are.

With the small differences that are there, I do prefer the Japanese version a bit, since I think the English version loses out on some fun details again.

But regardless, I enjoyed these quite a bit, and the English version still got their core across well.

Not much else I can say here, so that’s the end of this part.

Feel free to check out the next one!

< Previous Part | Start | Next Part >

#legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #tloz #spirit tracks #legend of zelda spirit tracks #legend of zelda translations #spirit tracks translations #my translations #spirit tracks comparisons

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chrisevansbabymama · 5 years

Text

Daddy Hair Care - Chapter 6

A/N: At long last, Chapter 6! I’d like to give a major shout out and thank you to everyone that’s been checking in on this story. Writing this chapter hasn’t been the easiest as I had a major writer’s block, this is the 9th attempt!!! This wasn’t the original direction I was taking this chapter, but I think it works and fits with the rest and what’s to come. Thank you for the kind patience, I hope you enjoy. And yes, I’ve purposefully made Mya’s dialogue grammatically incorrect to signify her youth; I’ve taken a lot of inspo from the way my little niece is now starting to string sentences together.

______

Chapter 5

Chapter 6 - I was wondering maybe; Could I make you my baby:

“Theeeeeee end!” Chris concluded the bedtime story dramatically, closing the colourful hardcover book and placed it on the bedside table. “Did you like this one, baby?”

Mya giggled at his sing-song voice and nodded, “Yeah, but I like Frozen one better,”

Chris groaned in defeat and rolled his eyes with a playful dramatic huff, “Baby, we read that one aaaall the time. Y’know, there’s more to life than Anna and Elsa. I think this book was pretty cool; there was a funny rabbit, a greedy cow, and a singing horse…I think Dodger liked this one too,”

Dodger perked his ear at the sound of his name, and then relaxed back at the foot of the small girl’s bed, looking on at the duo.

“And the ‘silly sausage,’” she started laughing, remembering the favourite part in the book that had her laughing hysterically.

“Still laughing at the ‘silly sausage’ huh,” he then laughed too.

Mya smiled and tried to stifle a yawn, but it overpowered her. Her features darkened as she looked at her dad solemnly.

“I want to come to work with you tomorrow,”

“I would love to have you with me, but you know children and Dodger are not allowed at daddy’s work,” he reminded her, although it wasn’t very accurate – the informality of his work allowed him to bring friends and family on set, but he vowed himself to never expose Mya to that.

“But I miss you dada,”

“I know it’s not fun when I’m working, if I could take you and Dodger with me, I would. That’s why daddy brought you both here with me to New York, so you could be even closer to me,”

“Dada but you always go work,”

Chris frowned but quickly replaced it with a warm expression to encourage her to continue expressing herself.

“I know honey-” he said calmly.

“And we have to stay in this room all the time,” she continued to complain. “I want to play outside,”

Chris couldn’t help but laugh, “Yeah, I gotta agree with you on that one kid. This hotel life wasn’t daddy’s best decision. Daddy’s gotta fix that, even Dodger would love to play outside,”

She nodded solemnly.

“After this week, I’ll only be working in the evening, so we’ll get to spend all the mornings and afternoons together, we can go wherever you want,” he offered, knowing he’d regret that just as he had this weekend when he told her they could go wherever she wanted and she suggested Disneyworld.

He then had to explain to her that it wasn’t possible to just up and go to Disneyworld, and then had to do damage control, when she’d spent almost twenty minutes refusing to talk to him. That was until she realised she needed him to help move her play kitchen area to another side of their suite, so she came back to him with a white flag. Chris took the opportunity then to encourage to scale down her weekend plans to something local.

“Then we go home?”

“Not next week, but soon,” he explained. “Is that what would make you happy?”

Mya nodded, “Yeah, so I can play with my dollies in the garden,”

Chris rested his head on his palm, trying to make sense of what she was expressing. He’d felt the same strain she did regarding staying in the hotel and they were clearly both homesick, but that suite – large as it was, was becoming claustrophobic. He also wondered where he was going wrong: that even though they were in the same suite – (not miles away as previously before) she still missed him. Then the guilt of spending Friday night with Kayla consumed him; feeling like he had abandoned his daughter to pursue his own selfish interests. But he quickly shook the thought away, refusing to go down that spiral.

If anything, he was grateful and surprised Mya had lasted this long without complaining, but even then this wasn’t a topic he had wanted to confront. There were too many layers involved; it wasn’t as simple as packing up his and her bags, and flying back to LA. He had to stay in New York and work, then had a few weeks of freedom before filming again in a few months; that posed a question of whether it was the best decision for her to come along to Atlanta as he finished his final Marvel instalment. And if not, he knew there was going to be the issue of delivering the news and actually parting ways for those few months after bonding so well together in New York.

Again, he shook that thought away, compartmentalising it in the ‘deal with it when it comes’ box.

“We can’t go home just yet,” he said, feeling like he just kept presenting her with a disappointing answer after another. He shuffled close and scooped her up so she rested on his chest. “How about we go to Boston for a few days this week? You get to play with your cousins and in the garden,”

Her eyes widened with excitement as she gazed at her dad, now a beacon of hope, “Yay! Can Daja come too?”

“Of course Dodger is coming too,” Chris chuckled.

“What about my other grammy, the blue grammy,” she asked, referring to her grandma on her mother’s side; who lived in a big blue house.

Chris pursed his lips, lying through his teeth and going against his principal of always telling the truth, “She’s on holiday, remember? That’s why you get to be here with daddy in New York,”

“She’s taking for ages to come back from holiday!” she groaned, now lacing her fingers with her dad’s.

“Won’t be any longer now, baby,” he changed the subject quickly. “I think it’s time to close those little eyes. Tiff is picking you up tomorrow and daddy will also be leaving early for his interviews. But I finish early, we can call grandma and tell her we’re coming, and then go to see a movie and dinner?”

Her face lit up again, but then it fell sadly, “But Daja can’t come to the movies with us,”

Chris cast a glance at him, dozing off at the foot of the bed, “He won’t mind, shhhh…it’s a secret,”

“Dada, you have a girlfriend?” she asked suddenly and he couldn’t decipher whether she was really asking him or she was seeking confirmation on a truth she already knew, which was strange and uncomfortable to him because that also another topic he wasn’t ready to confront with her.

He didn’t even know she knew what a ‘girlfriend’ was.

“Uhm, no,” Chris shifted uncomfortably. An embarrassed smile brightened up his features and he wanted to laugh at being interrogated by a child about his non-existent love life. “Why?”

She shrugged, “Is it a secret?”

“Mya,”

She gave him a coy smile.

“How do you know what a girlfriend is?” Chris eyed her suspiciously, deciding on a new angle.

“I dunno,”

“Princess, c’mon, we tell each other everything. Right? Remember, we said we always have to tell the truth?”

“Uncle Seb has a girlfriend, he said it’s a secret,” Mya shared.

“He told you he has a girlfriend?”

She nodded again, covering her face.

“How do you know he has a girlfriend?” Chris pressed on, trying a different angle. She shrugged again.

“Aunty Lauren. I saw her on the phone with him,”

“I’m not following baby,”

“Like,” she began to explain, as best as she could with her limited vocabulary. “She’s with him on his phone picture, they were kissing. It’s yucky. I saw it when I was playing games,”

“Oh,” Chris finally said, understanding that she meant his phone’s display picture. Chris muttered under his breath, “Interesting. Your Uncle Seb’s so much trouble.”

After a short pause, he proposed the question that had been occupying his thoughts for a long while, and then of course the need to ask was exacerbated on Friday when he’d spent the evening with Kayla. He didn’t think he would be confronting this topic this soon, but he couldn’t miss the opportunity to ask Mya now and plant the seed, seeing as she’d brought it up herself.

“What if daddy had a girlfriend, how would that make you feel?”

“I don’t know, daddy. Maybe no kissing each other, it’s yucky,” she shrugged again earnestly, making Chris realise she understood the term ‘girlfriend’ in a very naïve way; as something to snicker about. “Are you going to get a girlfriend?”

“Oh man, not you too asking me to get a girlfriend,” he rolled his eyes and made a face to make her giggle. “Daddy is – he will – y’know what, this is weird, go to bed baby,”

“Okay. Kiss-kiss,” she pouted.

“Okay. I love you,” he smothered her face with kisses, causing her to laugh hysterically and seek refuge under her blanket, waking up Dodger as she accidentally kicked him. “So tomorrow, you and daddy have to talk about something important okay?”

“Okay, after the movie?”

Chris smiled, ruffling her hair “Yes sweetie. Goodnight,” he turned to Dodger. “C’mon buddy, let’s leave miss ‘silly sausage’ to sleep,”

And there was that cackle again, “I love you dada. Love you Daja,”

Chris poured himself a glass of red wine as he unwound on his couch, putting the TV on with Dodger at his side as Rick & Morty came on. He took a deep breath, feeling this was the most relaxed he had been all weekend. His two kids had occupied so much of his thoughts, energy and time this weekend, so whenever he could steal a moment of tranquillity he made the best of it. As he watched Rick & Morty in a daze, his mind wandering about the last topic of conversation he’d just had with Mya. It felt weird, talking about his love life with his baby girl. It’s not something he ever imagined having to do, back when he used to imagine life with a child. He wondered if that was her cry for help for some womanly company in the Evans household, or was it a plea to maintain the status quo, so she could have him all to herself? Especially since she had communicated it very clearly that she missed him when he was away at work, let alone someone else coming into his life demanding attention.

He sighed, pouring another glass growing very aware of how quickly he had downed the first. He thought about Kayla; if he was going to pursue her – what would the dynamics be like? Did she even like kids? Did she like dogs? Could she handle his complicated parenting situation?

Again, for the umpteenth time that evening, he shook that thought away. He was realising more and more, like everyone told him, his worst fears were things he was cooking up in his imagination. He always got ahead of himself in thought and imagined the worst possible scenarios. Scott always told him “no wonder why you have anxiety, you’re forcing your brain to live through things that are not even real.” So now he was trying to be better; trying to reign in on his thoughts and control them in a positive direction, even if it meant being too optimistic in thinking there was even a slight chance Kayla reciprocated his feelings.

So he went back to thinking about her, it felt nice. It was his place of peace. It was addictive to remember her smile, her voice, the way she teased him with no care and a total disregarded of his actor title. It felt nice, to be seen by her as a person and not an object or an ideal. He couldn’t wait to see her again tomorrow; he imagined her plump lips and then remembered the several lost opportunities that he had to kiss on her Friday. Her soft touch; the way she’d gently tap him on the shoulder when she’s laughing, she wasn’t as tactile as he was, but he remembered every single touch. He remembered the way her fingers felt in his fair. He remembered her scent emanating from different points on her body: her neck when she hugged him, her wrist when she applied products to his face, and her hair when she walked passed him.

His eyes flickered to his phone on the table, opening Safari on private browsing; his fingers hovered over the keypad on Google search. It was something he had to come to terms with sooner or later, and if Friday with Kayla and tonight’s conversation with Mya were anything to go by, it was going to be sooner. So he did, he typed the words in before quickly pressing the backspace, feeling ridiculous, so instead he called the person he knew would give him the peace he was after.

After several missed calls, she answered on the third attempt.

“Hi, sorry I’d left my phone in the dining room,”

“Hi,” He sighed contentedly into the phone, finding solace in her voice and rushed to get his thoughts together because he could feel that familiar wash of anxiety clouding him and choking him.

“I need your help with something,” he said, feeling his face warm up as though she could see him. It was a combination of the wine and the words he was going to speak that made him feel like he was going to throw up.

“Is everything okay?” she enquired with concern. “Chris?”

“Yeah, I’m just sitting here and was about to ask Google for advice on something that I’m sure it’d have answers for, but, I think you’re the best person to help me out here,”

“Okay,” she said tentatively. “What were you searching for?”

After a few seconds of silence and another sip of wine, Chris finally answered, knowing that as he was speaking out these words into the universe, there was no turning back, he would be confirming that he wanted to be with Kayla. All those negative thoughts and scenarios that could be – he also put them in the same ‘deal with it when and if they come’ box.

“Chris, you’re making me nervous,”

“I uhm…I wasn’t sure that Google will have an answer specifically tailored for a single dad who’s also an actor, for this particular question,” he sighed with a nervous laugh. “How do I go back out there and start dating again?”

She let out a soft gasp.

“What?” he was on edge.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that question?”

“I know. But I met this woman and she’s amazing, she’s really incredible and I’m losing my mind every day that I don’t talk to her or see her,” he chuckled, feeling ridiculous. “I know this feeling, so I’m ready to go for it,”

“I’m so happy you called,” she stalled and emitted a muffled sound.

“Ma…Are you crying? Seriously…?”

__________

Disclaimer: Gif not my own

Tags: @thegirlwithpaperheart @disaster-rose @youlifetime @mississippifangirl @thinemineours @tessathedragon @thottio @caninoona @eratotalles @allonszassbutt@thinemineours@dreamingwithmendes @void-imaginations @daybreak96 @l-auteuse @cliffordasparagus @bumber-car-s@lvlyab@melaninmarvel @milkymil-k@dyckvandyke @prettymuchboodup @i-fear-neither-death-nor-pain@the-doctors-fallen-angel @tfandtws @mariswritingforfun @renesmeeharelds @turn-thy-paige @disaster-rose

#Chris Evans #Chris Evans fanfic #Chris Evans fan fic #Chris Evans fic #Chris Evans fanfiction #Chris Evans fan fiction #Chris Evans imagine #chris evans x woc #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x black ofc #Chris Evans daddy imagine #Sebastian stan #Sebastian Stan imagine #Daddy Hair Care

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afterglow-prompts · 6 years

Text

a hundred dialogue prompts

hey all! awhile ago i decided that for every 25 sets put out, i’ll be doing mass prompts! i hope you enjoy this. i have each original prompt list linked in each number for your convenience. also, i’ll link the other ones below this note as soon as i put them out! thank you all so much!

this is going to be long lol, all prompts under the cut

fifty otp prompts

“That was my sarcastic voice.” “That sounded a lot like your normal voice.” “So I’ve heard.”

“I’m going to lose my last shred of sanity.” “You can’t lose what you don’t have.”

“I can’t tell if they’re enemies or lovers.” “Neither can I, but I can sure as hell say that they’re entertaining.”

“I’m going to need you to put on pants before we do anything else.” “I am wearing pants!” “Male booty shorts in the dead of winter do not count as pants.”

“Do you want to know what you’re feeling right now?” “And what would that be?” “Absolute stupidity.”

“Even if I had a week, I couldn’t list all the reasons why this won’t work.”

“I’m going to need about six more cups of coffee before I lose the nerve to do this.”

“I may act like an angel, but I’m definitely not Cupid. Do you know why? First, I can hardly find a date for myself. Second, my butt only looks semi-fabulous in a diaper.”

“See, someone thinks I’m funny!” “Well statistically, someone has to.”

“Both of you have been glancing at each other for the past two fucking hours when the other isn’t looking. Will you please make out already!”

“I read a lot of fanfiction. Trust me, I know how this will turn out.”

“Don’t put money on me losing, you dipshit.”

“Stop fighting over her, we don’t have time for a love triangle right now!”

“I’m the world champion of laziness. I’d go and grab the fake belt my parents made as a joke, but it’s all the way upstairs.”

“Let me help you, I know you’re not that strong.” “I’m strong enough to carry your corpse into the woods, so I suggest you shut up.”

“People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.”

“My feelings for you are like the colors of the night sky, blinding, beautiful, and seemingly endless.”

“I can’t tell them I’m writing the love notes, they’ll kill me!”

“I didn’t mean to fall in love with them, it kind of just happened.”

“I’ll be yours until all the stars fall out of the sky.”

“Are you allergic to happiness?” “No, but I’m allergic to your stupidity.”

“You can’t lose weight by running away from your feelings.” “I can damn well try.”

“You should apologize.” “Fine. Unfuck you or whatever you want me to say.”

“I could hurt you if I wanted.” “So could a dedicated duck. You’re not special.”

“I’m here to save you, of course.” “Sorry to ruin your fantasy, but I don’t need to be saved.”

“My mood is currently screaming into oblivion.”

“Are you okay?” “No, next question.”

“You’re cute as hell.” “Coincidentally, that’s where I came from.”

“Why for the love of everything good and holy are you screaming like your ass is on fire?”

“I am nothing if not consistent.” “Yeah, a consistent pain in my ass.”

“This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!” “What about the time where-.” “Let’s not do this!”

“Sorry I hit you, my first instinct was to attack.” “You didn’t know it was me?” “Oh, I knew.”

“You need to lay off the caffeine.” “Do that and you might need to lay off your life because I will make it a living fucking hell.”

“You made me chocolate chip cookies? How thoughtful! You are the best person ev-. OH MY GOSH. THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU ASSHOLE! YOU KNOW I HATE RAISINS GET BACK HERE.”

“There are 1,013,913 words in the English language, but I could never string them together to accurately enough to explain how much I want to hit you with a chair.”

“I love you dearly, but I am going to shove you into a trash can the first chance I get.” “Fair enough.”

#10

“If you take that cupcake, I will hit you with a chair. Repeatedly.” “Don’t do it. They’ve done it to me before.”

“Be polite.” “Go fuck yourself.”

“Sing this with me or I’ll kick your ass.”

“When every door around you is closed, kick one in with brute force.”

#11

“I dreamed about you last night.” “I’m just the pizza delivery guy. Please sign the receipt and let me leave.”

“Haven’t you ever heard the phrase ‘pick your battles’?” “Yes, and I pick all of them.”

“I will not hesitate to strangle you.” “Can you even reach my neck?”

“I hate you with every inch of my being!” “That’s not a lot of inches.”

#12

“For fuck’s sake, stop, stop talking about yourself like that! It makes me sick!” “Why? You don’t care!” “The fuck I don’t! I love you. Every single part of you.”

“Breathe for me, my darling. You have to breathe to live.”

“This unworthy heart of mine will always be yours, do not forget that.”

“A warrior without scars is either play-acting or very, very good.” “Who said I didn’t have scars?”

#13 (what is it with me and the terrible angst?)

“C’mon, they’re only a few scratches.” “You were in a car crash you insolent little shit!”

“I thought I lost you. Do you have any idea, even a minuscule one, on how much that hurt me?”

“Don’t you dare lie to me. Not about this.”

“Giving away love never hurt anyone.” “But if you give away too much, what is left for yourself?”

#14

“You are the human version of a migraine.”

“Is it too early to have a breakdown this week?” “It’s Monday.” “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?” “How tall are you?”

“I may be a mechanic, but I can’t fix stupid.”

#15

“Why do you have a picture of your dog on the top of your tree?” “Because he’s the brightest star ever.”

“It’s Christmas!” “Yeah, it’ll also be your death date unless you let me go back to sleep.”

“And you put a picture of Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson in my stocking because?” “Because I couldn’t find any coal or other rocks so I put that in there instead.”

“Christmas is overrated.” “There’s the door, I think it’s time for you to go through it and leave.”

#16

“You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent years studying the game and developing my skills. I spent hours upon hours training until my hands cramp. Even my TV is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing, and you think you can beat me? Let’s fucking go.”

“Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for seventeen years and I’m not about to start now!”

“Um, did you tell me it was impossible to sing along with a guitar solo? Stand back. Your insurance doesn’t cover blown minds.”

“My songs are lost on you. You simply don’t know how to enjoy them.”

#17 (this is my most popular prompt list & it is full of the fluffiest prompts)

“Did you just kiss me?” “Was I not supposed to?” “I don’t know, but could you do it again?”

“I might be in love with you.” “That’s great to hear since I am in love with you.”

“I’ll be yours until all the stars fall out of the sky.”

“You missed. Your lips were supposed to touch mine, you dingbat.”

#18

“You’re really good at Mariokart.” “You say that like you’re surprised. It’s almost like I didn’t train for years to be the best.”

“I need to be twenty times hotter than I am right now.” “Twenty times zero is still zero.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being arrogant or ignorant.” “Both, probably.”

“Let’s not do this.” “What could go wrong? We’re all wearing helmets and the shopping cart is fully padded!”

#19

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” “Well if I didn’t have sarcasm, I’d have to flat out tell people that they’re an idiot. My mother raised me better than that.”

“It’s what’s on the inside that’s beautiful.” “Oh yeah, my intestines are blushing up a storm right now.”

“Why are you laughing at a picture of a potato?” “It reminded me of you.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult, you unimaginative dishrag?”

#20

“Get over here, being apart of the group means being apart of group hugs.”

“My pants may be down around my ankles, but judging by your blush, I look very attractive in my underwear.”

“I’m sorry for all the stuff I said.” “And the punch to the jaw?” “No, you definitely deserved that.”

“Bad things keep happening to me. It’s like I have bad luck or something.” “No, the reason you have bad luck is because you’re a dumbass.”

#21

“You have beautiful eyes.” “Thanks, I need them to see.”

“Fuck off, it’s three in the morning.”

“Definitely not my finest hour.” “Do you think?”

“We do not have time for theatrics, move your ass!”

#22

“I have updated my list of people I trust and things I believe to NO ONE and NOTHING.”

“Do you think I have anger issues?” “Well, I wouldn’t call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.”

“I’m sorry I called you stupid, I thought you already knew.”

“You said you wanted my honest opinion, and there you have it. You’re a dumbass.”

#23

“Don’t underestimate us.” “Our team motto is maybe we’ll get lucky this time.”

“What am I allergic to?” “Blueberries, roses, and the full spectrum of human emotions.”

“Don’t look at me, this isn’t my fault.” “But aren’t you the one who set the kitchen on fire?” “How was I supposed to know that a slim jim is flammable?”

“Fuck off.” “It’s always nice to feel wanted.”

#24

“As the saying goes in Shakespeare’s time, goest fucketh thyself.”

“I am sixty percent water, twenty percent mountain dew, twenty percent pizza, and one hundred percent swag.” “That’s two hundred percent.” “I’m twice the person you’ll ever be.”

“Go crawl up Satan’s ass.”

“I wish I was one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life. You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana.”

#25

“Why must you attack me with your words.” “Do you want me to use rocks?”

“On a scale from one to ten, you’re a nine and I’m the one you need.” “No, what the fuck, I’m a ten.”

“You have a cute nose, don’t make me break it.”

“It’s been a long week.” “It’s the middle of a Monday.” “As I said, it’s been a long week.”

#mass dialogue prompt batch #dialogue prompts

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nikatyler · 6 years

Photo

I’ve been feeling a little meh about my blog and everything lately, though that might just be another result of me being very stressed out these days. It’s less than two weeks until my prom. Oh, yeah, here in my country we usually have senior proms during months from October to February. Mine is in the beginning of November. I’m actually going to some of my former classmates’ proms as well, this Saturday and then in December, and who knows, I might throw some more in. My anxious ass will hate me for this when the date comes closer. I apparently like to suffer.

I’m also going to an eye doctor tomorrow and I’m a little scared. I haven’t been there for a while and I think my eyesight got worse. But hey, whether it actually got worse or not, I’ll have new glasses. That’s good. I need new ones.

As for the blog, I’ve been slowly but surely working on Roses again. Gen 6. It’s kind of a lot at the moment but I’m just out of practice, I guess. There’s too many sims in the household. The high school story, well...chapter three is coming soon and I’d like to get two more out until the end of 2018. Not sure if I’ll be able to do that after all but I’ll try. I care about that story and its characters way more than I should but what else is new. I know that for you, it’s probably not the most exciting thing ever but listen...some of the dialogues are my best work, okay? Give it a try.

ALSO I FINALLY WATCHED STRANGER THINGS AND IT WAS PERFECT I LOVE IT I NEED MORE PLEASE AND THANK YOU

calm down ron

Replies now.

melien replied to your photoset “In attempts of being a little more like her “superhuman friend”...”

Tag yourself I'm Val

Honestly who isn’t on this website? I feel like most of us need more sleep, correct me if I’m wrong lmao

melien replied to your photoset “Ross: “You don’t get it, Jordan. I love you a lot, but we’re over....”

I kinda agree that Jordan deserves better lmao

If I remember correctly, MCCC made him go and have a child with one of Ross’s ex-lovers. Later on, Jordan went and married another one of Ross’s ex-lovers. He’s not the only one though, more of them did the same thing. The family trees in this save are messed up, everyone is related to everyone in some way. It’s a small world. *shrugs*

jackssims replied to your photo “I’m slowly losing my mind. Long story short: I’m drowning in homework....”

Omg if they get together I’ll probably scream into the void

Never say never

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Marika? I haven’t seen her for months. And is that a…does she have a...”

Ohhhhhhhhhhh

Ohhh yeahh

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “This legacy has seriously been blessed with some Good Genes.”

She's a cutie!

She is! I can’t help but compare kids from this legacy to kids from my other sims 4 legacy. Here, they’re almost perfect the way they’re born. Truth to be told, in my Raven Legacy, I had to edit everyone a lot before showing them to the world. If I had said something else, I probably lied.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Exactly two years ago, the triplets were born and gen 4 officially...”

they look gooood

Also happy birthday to them:3

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Exactly two years ago, the triplets were born and gen 4 officially...”

They came out really nice! Especially Bianca!

melien replied to your photo “Exactly two years ago, the triplets were born and gen 4 officially...”

Love them! Caleb may be my fav

Thanks guys! They might not be 100% accurate but I still somehow get the right vibes from them, which is more than enough for me. Honestly I’m surprised I have never done this before.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Hi Zoey, what do you want?” “Hi Bianca. Hi…um…you.” “Sharon,” she...”

"I hate running." - honestly me too Zoey

I love working out but every time we have to run in P.E. I want to die. Also burpees. Burpees and running are my two worst enemies.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “I felt it from the bottom of my heart. I knew I had the potential to...”

Or... To travel between the worlds!

Yeah, Bianca is pretty badass, even though most of her badass-ness was lost in the original legacy because she wasn’t around. I’m glad I can somehow fix it here.

melien replied to your photoset “Hey LMAO!” “That’s new. What do you want, Rosie?” “Will you take...”

This totally made my day thank you I'm living

You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to see this scene happen but I didn’t have enough motivation to do the whole chapter. It was killing me. But hey, here we are, six months later.

melien replied to your photoset “There’s no point in trying to argue with him, seriously. But I swear...”

I actually have a few ideas for you Jacob

Do I wanna know

melien replied to your photoset “He’s been playing with me this whole time…ever since…ever since I...”

I kinda feel like Tyler and Ross would have been besties

I was thinking about this a lot because they’re similar in many ways but...I’m not sure. Tyler is just messing with his friends. He likes joking around. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, actually I think this is very insensitive and selfish of him. I can’t stand him in this chapter. Anyway, he’s just kidding. He kind of counts on the fact that no one takes him seriously because he’s been the “class clown” ever since he can remember and so he can do whatever he wants (breaking news Tyler, you can’t). He would never ever actually cheat on anyone though.

Ross on the other hand...he was cheating on everyone and he knew it and he didn’t feel bad about it - for most of the time, at least. I’m not trying to make excuses for Tyler, he is an ass, I’m not gonna say he’s not, but compared to Ross, he’s just a goof who doesn’t think about consequences of his dumb jokes.

pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “Just to explain what is going on,” Thomas said. “I’m willing to give...”

Was that an indirect comment on My First Pet stuff? Made me chuckle xD

It was! I wrote this chapter around the time My First Pet stuff was released...which explains everything haha. This joke would’ve been funnier if I had taken pictures for this chapter in spring. I mean, the hatred for that stuff pack is kinda dead now, isn’t it? At least I don’t care about it as much anymore.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Marika, long time no see! So you’re a mum now? How long has it...”

Hnnnngh

Here we goooo

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Well, yeah, but I also don’t need a child in my life and you’re...”

Y’know I’m not the biggest fan of Marika, but she’s got some really valid points here

Yeah. Yeah I can’t argue with that. She’s not the best person but neither is Ross

I swear I wanted to reply with something that was really good in my head, I just can’t remember what it is right now. It’s 11 pm and I’m tired. Sorry

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “I can’t take care of a baby!” Marika: “Well, you’ll have to...”

Okay I still don't like Marika overall but this whole interaction has warmed me up to her a little

I hate her for this, actually. She could’ve handled it as an adult, tell him when she found out she was pregnant, instead she did this. Though, again, she had a good point with “Ross being Sunset’s parent too”.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Hey Stella! Yes, the dumb fuck knows now and he took it well. You...”

Omg I love this

Not gonna lie I might like Stella and Val’s friendship more than I love Ross and Caleb’s friendship

#replies #melien #jackssims #alfalfalegacy #tiny-tany-thaanos #pxelatedtrash

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sol1056 · 6 years

Text

fixing the clone

Ambiguity has its place, but that lies in giving only certain pieces of information, not in the full picture being muddy. In other words, every clue -- taken as a whole, by story's end -- should add up to a complete picture. The narrative should have a clear position of where it stands, and the mid-story ambiguity should lie in the readers simply not having all the information yet.

three clues in the text and one red herring

First clue is Shiro’s explanation when he returns.

SHIRO: The last thing I remember was Zarkon trying to overtake the Black Lion. It told me to use my bayard. Then, just nothing. I woke up, and I was back on a Galra ship.

Most fans concluded that Shiro's memories were taken via his arm. This begs the question of when and how. Were there transmissions, or was Shiro's arm designed for later retrieval? That assumption is based on this exchange back in S2:

PIDGE: The Galra could have implanted fake memories of the escape in your head. HUNK: Oh, come on, that would be so evil, which, of course, they are. But they'd have to come up with some molecular level storage unit, which his hand does have. But, to be linked up to memory, it would need a direct pathway to his brain, which yeah.

Taken at face value, we could interpret this to mean a single set of fake memories were implanted, to override a specific stretch of time. It leaves open whether Shiro's core memories were otherwise intact. The metaphor starts to get muddy, here. Once it’s patently clear Shiro is compromised, we get this:

PIDGE: I recognized [the countermeasure] from the code I scanned from Shiro's arm when we were looking for Galra installations. When I was scanning Shiro's arm, I made a copy of its programming.

That instance was way back in S1. If this was an adult-grown clone, with a brand-new arm, why would there be no upgrades or new commands? Whether the arm had been a recording device or a supplemental memory storage, the new phase (of active control) would imply the need for new (or at least additional) programming. If the programming required to flip Shiro's switch was present all along, why wasn't it used previously? (I have no answer for that, since that requires a deeper revision than I’m suggesting here.)

The third clue is in S3, when we learn it’s an open secret that Zarkon is severely injured. In other words: Zarkon was retrieved from the battle before that final blazing sword blow became truly fatal. This sets up the possibility that Shiro was somehow captured in the same move.

Last is Black finding the clone. Knowing now that Black had Shiro within and yet still roared for the clone, it feels like the story’s lying here, too. It wanted to present enough to doubt Shiro and see him as 'real' at the same time, but in hindsight, it doesn't work. We needed more groundwork to fit Black's behavior into the metaphor.

Behind the cut: what it could add up to, and how we could clarify the metaphor to fill the biggest plot holes and avoid the ethical issues of the clone’s treatment.

now to add this up

When the dust settles, every clue should add up to a complete and comprehensible picture. Unless Shiro has been a clone all along, there's no need to call it 'operation kuron' except to mislead the audience into assuming this isn't Shiro in any way except appearance (and, apparently, shared memories).

VLD does this several times, which is why I'm suspicious here. In Lotor's storyline, Axca's and Lotor's choices can only be explained by saying they pretended despite the lack of audience. In other words, the scientist calling the project 'clone' was intentionally misleading the viewers, and had nothing to gain, in-story, from mislabelling the project. Taken in hindsight -- and placed against the actual (and unscarred) clones seen in Black Paladins -- if the project title is accurate, the rest of the metaphor falls apart. If the project title is inaccurate, there's no explanation other than willfully lying to the viewers.

Done right, the revelation of Shiro’s presence in Black should make every piece fall into place, perfectly comprehensible in hindsight. Take the metaphor of a divided system -- OS as interface, memory as database. At some point in that final battle, the hardware is ripped away, and Black catches the OS -- the personality, the interface -- and ghosts a copy. If we stretch the metaphor so ghosting simultaneously removes the OS from the original hardware, then we have Shiro's personality in Black, and his body in Haggar's clutches -- and both share the same core memories.

After the final battle, with the replacement OS shutting down, returning Shiro’s mind resolves the split and returns Shiro to himself. There is no clone to be used and discarded; there is only Shiro, taking back his own body.

(This does not evade the issue of the clone’s personality or self-awareness, but it does at least get us around the ethical question of keeping the clone for the sole purpose of having a place to ‘put’ Shiro.)

fixing the metaphor

S1: make it explicit that the arm has code, and Pidge has removed it. All is safe. Reintroduce the question when Shiro returns, and have Hunk raises the worries, then.

S2: simplify or truncate the finale to leave five minutes' breather at the end. Add comms visuals so the team witnesses what appears to be Shiro being pulled from this reality, going staticky, something. (It'd be a nice parallel to S6E1 if Keith ditches Red and heads for Black; Allura’s repetition later would prompt fear of the same happening to Lance.) Add an easter egg for the fans, a quick shot of Zarkon's mecha ripped open but the central cabin is empty.

Use those final minutes to show the impact. Show the team's escape, the passage of time, and each person’s reaction. Show Pidge on her laptop, wiping tears as she works. Hunk cooking, only to stop and cover his face. Lance retrieving his armor and seeing the empty spot where Shiro's was. Keith sitting in Black's cabin, watching the empty chair. Coran talking to someone on the overhead screens, then looking over his shoulder at Shiro's empty seat.

Add just enough dialogue to show the team's concluded that Haggar used her magic to tear Shiro apart. They're grieving, but they're also coming to terms with Shiro's death. End with Allura coming to Keith and saying, it's time to find a new Black Paladin. And I'd probably end on Keith's determined, No, and let the screen go to black.

S3: the team has accepted that Shiro couldn't have survived. They tell each other he's dead, but Keith won't stop looking. He wants closure (and the rest of the team goes along, as a way to help Keith heal). Show small reactions from Black, implying the lion has intentions or wishes of its own. Skip the flippant humor and instead have each pilot note something odd. The seat wouldn't quite adjust for Pidge; the sticks wouldn't move for Hunk, the doors hesitated before opening for Lance.

Skip Shiro's return journey -- or don't start it until he's in the sentry fighter; after all, he repeats the crux of it when he's talking to Keith. In hindsight, it should become clear that Black was looking for Shiro's body: the hardware that fits the ghost software. Mid-story, though, it would appear Black had retrieved the real Shiro.

The changes in Shiro can be written off as trauma from being taken, again, but the narrative should be quite point-blank that something is very, very wrong. With S3E5 gone, there's room to add a more significant break between Shiro and Keith, and to show Keith diverting his attention to the Blades. Let characters rationalize this -- frex, Lance telling himself, "no one knows Shiro better than Keith, and Keith doesn't seem worried." Show the imposter's influence by the way the team slowly stops confiding in each other.

At this point, the working theory would be one of two possibilities: either Shiro was ripped away, brainwashed, and returned to the team... or this is a clone who carries Shiro's memories per the arm's programming. In either case, there should be no doubt for viewers that Shiro is not to be trusted.

Remember the metaphor, too. Keep a very light touch on humanizing this new version. Make it like Windows stumbling over Mac: those echoes don't make sense, they're junk. Let someone call Shiro out on his uncharacteristic mood, and have Shiro v2 dismiss his past actions. He's a new OS. He has no need for those artifacts that don't add up, anyway.

When Shiro's switch gets flipped, the team will understand and support Keith's need for closure, but they know there’s no hope. Pidge can lampshade, mentioning previous mindwipes (ie when Hunk was controlled, or how Narti spoke through the Puigian leader). Let the characters put forth a theory that unlike simple brainwashing (where the person remains), Shiro's case is so extreme there's nothing to recover.

I'd wrap up the entire storyline by the end of the full season, since that puts the Black Paladins battle as the midpoint of the entire story, structurally. But if limited to small tweaks, by the thread’s conclusion, the most obvious conclusion should be a) Shiro died and was grieved, and b) Shiro returned broken, with the original personality gone forever.

S6: only a few lines need to change. Shiro's appearance on the astral plane should be the first sign of hope in 20-something episodes. Changed lines are in bold:

SHIRO: Just let me explain. That thing that attacked you wasn't me. Since my fight with Zarkon, I've been here. KEITH: How? SHIRO: My physical form was gone. I existed on this other realm. I didn't know where I was or how much time had passed. KEITH: We thought you died, Shiro. SHIRO: The Black Lion retained my essence. I tried to warn the others about the imposter in my body, while on Olkarion, but our connection wasn't strong enough...

In the broadcast version, this exchange is too final. It needs to open, not close. Keith needs to begin certain of Shiro’s death -- and then Shiro's reveal can turn harrowing loss into the first glimpse of hope.

With that, the clues would fall into place to show the full, true picture: Shiro's body was taken, a new OS installed that relied on the original memories, while the ghost in the machine lived on in Black. It would make sense that Keith would still recognize Shiro v2 as 'his' Shiro, and it would also make sense that Keith would continue to protect Shiro's body -- even after knowing Shiro’s spirit is elsewhere. Keith's already thinking he’ll get Shiro back where he belongs, somehow.

Add a single line from Pidge, checking Shiro's arm, noticing some behavior or code that tells us Haggar has sent shut-down orders, wiped the second OS, something that indicates the personality is gone. Then have Keith ask to put Shiro's soul back into his body.

In terms of continuity and development, it means Shiro would now have access to the memories of everything from the previous year or so (though I'm ignoring for now how traumatic that would be to see yourself doing things against your grain). While it's still torture of a character who's already suffered so much, it at least removes the amorality of treating a created creatures only to hurt and be hurt, as @ptw30 put it.

Instead, it would be Shiro's body, overlaid with a fake, recovered, and restored.

#voltron legendary defender #analysis #storytelling #operation kuron

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daresplaining · 6 years

Text

Some Thoughts on Daredevil #600

Here’s to 600 issues of Daredevil (not counting mini-series, annuals, etc.)! As usually happens at these landmark moments, Marvel and the DD creative team celebrated with a longer-than-normal issue, which sparked far-reaching changes to Matt Murdock’s world.

The situation set up by this story arc is a grim one. Wilson Fisk has been elected mayor of NYC. Matt has been keeping an eye on him (and vice versa) as Fisk’s deputy, but has struggled in his every attempt to sabotage him. However, he has recently discovered a crack in Fisk’s law-abiding facade: a meeting that he has planned with the city’s prominent street-level villains. Matt, as Daredevil, gathers together a gang of heroes to crash the party.

Matt: “We protect this city, we fight in its streets, we are New York. And now we’ll take it back from Wilson Fisk. Mayor or not, he has to go down. We agree on that.”

Colorist Matt Milla still hasn’t quite gotten the hair color memo, because poor Jessica has lost her brown hair. It also would have been nice to see Colleen in this team-up, since Misty is there. But these are minor complaints. In a series that restored Matt’s secret identity and thus symbolically isolated him from many of his friends, it’s a powerful gesture, in this climactic issue, to see him engaged in this kind of a team-up... even if most of the people involved still don’t know who he is. It’s especially nice to see Maya (Echo) here, back in action alongside her former friends. Since her resurrection early in the run she has had a few really touching moments of reconnecting with Matt, and we hope to see more of her as the series continues.

Matt has pulled off similar plans in the past, and he has taken down Wilson Fisk in some thoroughly delicious ways, but in this instance, it ends up not being that easy. And we like that-- Fisk has been one step ahead of Matt for this whole arc, and it would have felt anticlimactic for such a simple, faulty plan to bring that to an end. Rather than catching Fisk red-handed, the Kingpin doesn’t show. The collected villains turn on each other, the heroes swoop in to prevent any unnecessary deaths... and then the cops arrive.

Matt: “Damn. Damn. So much for the plan. Need to get down there, before someone gets-- Wait. NYPD. But that’s... Oh, no.”

This scene, as exciting as it is, features a reappearance of the less-than-stellar Garney/Milla radar sense, which we’ve complained about before.

There has always been inconsistency, but generally, modern depictions of the radar sense don’t allow it to pierce solid objects. Here, we see Matt tracking the activity in the restaurant from outside, a blatant break with tradition that we’re not huge fans of. What makes even less sense is the arbitrary use of multiple colors. Since the radar depiction is a visual stand-in for non-visual perception, the different colors must represent something... but what? Texture? And in the panel where Matt notices the cops, his radar seems to be picking up on flat images and uniform details that he should have no way of perceiving. It’s a nonsensical, misleading approach to the radar sense, and a tragic departure from Paolo Rivera’s crosshatching design, which was used to great effect in volumes 3 and 4. We understand each creative team wanting to put their unique stamp on the comic, but come on... if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

The police swoop in and grab the heroes and villains alike. We learn-- in a neat twist that, again, fits with Fisk’s behavior in the issues leading up to this climax-- that the proposed meeting was a trap, designed to round up the city’s crime bosses and get them arrested. As Matt has done again and again in this arc, he assumed nefariousness on Fisk’s part, and ended up shooting himself in the foot. While we know that Fisk is still a bad guy, and probably has all sorts of things up his sleeve, it’s always fun to see him play the good guy, just to see how cleverly he constructs the facade. And even more compellingly, Matt’s failure to accurately read his nemesis backfires on his friends.

Wesley: “There were heroes there, too. Jessica Jones, Danny Rand, Maya Lopez, Luke Cage, Misty Knight and Marc Spector. Even Spider-Man.”

Fisk: “Spider-Man... and what is his name? Who is he?”

Wesley: “We don’t know. Just before the cops grabbed him, he sprayed that webbing of his around his neck. Sealed it up tight, like glue. They can’t get his mask off.”

(Oh, Peter. He’s so... experienced at this secret identity thing.)

It will be interesting to see how long they actually end up in jail, given the events of the rest of the issue. Hopefully, someone is babysitting Dani...

One of our favorite moments in this issue is a little reversal. While Matt has failed again and again to properly read his opponent, Fisk knows exactly how Daredevil works, and where to find him. It’s a level of familiarity between hero and arch-nemesis that is highly compelling to us. It’s these kinds of details that make for the best hero/villain relationships. It also gives Matt a chance to do a badass pose on Fisk’s roof, which is always a plus.

Fisk: “It’d be just like him. Come along, Wesley. Let’s go up and say hello.”

Matt: “Fisk.”

There have been so many iconic fights between these two over the years that it’s increasingly difficult to do anything new with them. This fight is certainly a good one... but then, they all are, and this tussle probably won’t go down in DD history as one of their memorable battles. But it’s still highly enjoyable, and is enhanced by Soule’s excellent dialogue, which highlights the core of their conflict, and emphasizes just how long they’ve been having these fights.

Fisk: “If my name weren’t Wilson Fisk, you wouldn’t have batted an eye. You’d be cheering that the mayor had found a way to get Owlsley and the others off the streets.”

Matt: “But you are Wilson Fisk. You are the Kingpin. And you’re the enemy of everything that matters about this city.”

Fisk: “No. I’m not. But I’m sick of trying to explain that to you.”

But as was foreshadowed throughout this arc, Matt isn’t allowed a clean win. Fisk hits him with a sledgehammer so hard that it’s amazing he’s able to stand afterward, and then goes off to tell a crowd of adoring supporters how great he is. Again, we are given a look at Fisk’s faked (probably?) duality, as Soule is exploring it-- the idea of him playing the hero while still being a villain. This isn’t a new Kingpin concept, of course, but it remains a good one, and an engaging way of playing with the character’s complexity.

Partway through the speech, the Hand arrive and shoot Fisk full of arrows, thus kickstarting the next story arc. The Hand are really neat when used well, so we’re excited to see where Soule takes them, particularly given their new connection to Blindspot. However, they are not this issue’s big surprise. We learn, as Matt is carted away by the cops, that with Fisk now out of the picture, the mayorship falls to his deputy...

Steve: “Matt Murdock is the mayor of New York City.”

(Heck yeah!)

This is really exciting, not only because of its implications for Matt’s life, but also because it has been a long time coming. Kesel wanted to do it back in the 90s, but the idea was shot down by editorial. Bendis teased the possibility, but it never actually happened, thanks to the events of the rest of his run.

Guy: “They’re going to ask you to be the Democratic nominee for Mayor of New York City.”

Matt: “Huh.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #56 by Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev

And Waid’s speculative story in the 50th anniversary issue suggested that Matt had been/will become the mayor of San Francisco at some point, but we don’t get to actually see him in action.

Foggy: “They remembered him from his original tour of duty here, when he and the Black Widow made the scene. [...] So when he came back, they had your pop running for office in no time. Busy boy, he was. Made lots of enemies.”

Daredevil vol. 4 #1.5, “The King in Red” by Mark Waid and Javier Rodriguez

But we are finally getting Mayor Matt Murdock, and we cannot wait to see how that works out for him.

The issue’s secondary plot thread is possibly even more interesting than the Matt/Fisk shenanigans, because it’s all new. This thread follows Sam’s final battle with Muse... who is essentially a Blindspot rogue now, rather than a DD one. Their relationship is fascinating, with Sam’s quest to understand the nature of his own heroism/lack thereof paired with Muse’s frenetic lack of morality. They are both raw, emotional characters, and their interactions in this issue are stunning. We’re gonna miss Muse.

Sam: “I need to understand, Muse. I need this to make sense. Why do you do what you do? Why do you hurt people? Why do you kill? Why?”

Muse: “You know why, Blindspot. It’s the same reason you want to kill me right now. It makes you better it makes you strong it shows them your power it says something it means something it solves your problems it gives you control you’re big they’re small it’s art it’s art IT’S ART!”

This fight also hints that Sam’s connection with the Hand is far from over... and provides a glimpse at how his time training with them may have changed him.

Beast: “You know my power. The power of the Beast. I will give it to you once again. Just reach out... and take it.”

While Sam refuses to kill for the Beast, this relationship will likely continue into the next arc-- which appears to be Hand-centric. Sam’s continuing evolution has been full of surprises, and we’re eager to see where this story takes him. All-in-all, this issue didn’t stand out as one of the most earth-shattering Daredevil stories ever told, but it was still thoroughly enjoyable, and did a great job of setting up some very exciting things in the future.

As an extra treat, the issue also includes a short, Foggy-centric story called “They Also Serve” by Christos Gage, Mike Perkins, and Andy Troy. This is merely the latest in a long line of Foggy-centric stories that celebrate his relationship with Matt. And there’s not a dang thing wrong with that, because they never get old. Matt and Foggy’s friendship exists at the very core of the comic, and its power and poignancy only increases as the years go by. Give us all of the Foggy-centric retrospectives. We will get misty-eyed every time.

We have only one complaint about this story, which is that Foggy... doesn’t really sound like Foggy for parts of it.

Foggy: “This is gonna be so great! You have no idea how lucky you are, Murdock, ‘cause Foggy Nelson just happens to be the finest wingman in the history of wingmen. You just stand there looking handsome, strong, stoic... with a hint of tragedy, while I draw ‘em in with my oratorical virtuosity. Between my silver tongue, your looks, and the whole blind thing, you’re gonna need that cane to ward off the babes.”

(Who... who are you, and what did you do with the real Foggy?!)

In fact, he sounds just like MCU Foggy. Which maybe shouldn’t have surprised us, because Christos Gage was also a writer for the first season of the Netflix show.

Despite this bit of weirdness, the issue is a nice look back at moments in Matt and Foggy’s friendship. It’s a trip down continuity lane, emphasizing just how long they’ve known each other and how much they’ve been through together.

All told, it’s a pleasant way to close out the issue, particularly given the rocky state of Matt and Foggy’s friendship throughout this run.

#Daredevil vol. 5 #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Kingpin #Wilson Fisk #Blindspot #Sam Chung #Muse #Commentary

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storm-driver · 7 years

Text

Kingdom Hearts: Why are the Remixes Good?

I see people bashing the Kingdom Hearts development team for “buying time” and “making a quick buck” with re-releasing the Kingdom Hearts games on the PlayStation 3 (and later the PlayStation 4). “They only did it because they needed to sate your hunger with mildly new stuff in each collection, only trying to buy time for Nomura’s ignorance to the final installment.”

JUST STOP. THAT’S NOT AT ALL ACCURATE.

The ORIGINAL Kingdom Hearts, made for the PlayStation 2 way back in 2002 (I was literally a babe when that game came out, can you believe that) is probably the most cherished game in the series, but... also the most annoying to play. Platforming was a little jumpy then and the way the combat rolled out was sorta messy. Nevertheless, the game proved to be fun and full of good story.

The original developers lost the assets to the game and took the collective decision to remake it from the ground-up. This let them fix a LOT of issues the game had with it’s camera work and select cutscenes, including the installation of new bosses, weapons, abilities, and an easier-to-use reaction command system, or as people call it in KH2, “PRESS TRIANGLE TO WIN.”

In addition to fixing the mechanical issues, the in-game models were updated to their HD versions, Yoko Shimomura re-composed the soundtrack for the game, and many cutscenes and textures were upgraded to match the stunning HD of the PS3.

This was only the beginning. Since 358/2 Days came out originally on the Nintendo DS, cutscenes were limited in this game. The story was told through, dare I say, poor quality in-game dialogue with hardly any voice acting to back it. This did make the characters in the game feel a little less like themselves. The HD Remaster of 358 really helps to bring back that tie. It completely scrapped the combat system used in Days, but did well to keep up it’s heart-wrenching story. While there is no gameplay, it was a touching movie that I still shed a few tears over.

Albeit, nothing much changed in Chain of Memories aside from the final boss having a remastered soundtrack, it was nice to see the cutscenes in HD. And if you’re like me, that sweet 60 fps on the PS4.

“Storm, this isn’t selling me. It still sounds like a cash-grab. ”

UNDERSTANDABLE! I honestly thought the same thing a long time ago! Allow me to inform you more on the next addition: Kingdom Hearts 2.5!

Kingdom Hearts II is, arguably, the best game in the franchise via gameplay. The combat system is much less punishing if you get hammered, and very cinematic. You thought Ars Arcanum was a cool way to finish off an enemy? Try having the scripted event be throwing the enemy INTO THE AIR and SMACKING IT IN THE CHEST SEVERAL TIMES, then having it LAND ON THE FLOOR BEHIND YOU AS YOU STRIKE A POSE.

Vertigo Toss is the coolest shit ever and I don’t know how to top it.

How do you make it better in the Remix? Anyone knows, compared to Kingdom Hearts I, this “much better” installment was very lacking in secret bosses and bonus content to do after completing the game. So that’s exactly what the developers added: extra areas to explore, more bosses to fight, new abilities to abuse, cool content to have fun with, AND A HELLISH SECRET BOSS THAT TIES INTO THE LORE.

The game also added in new cutscenes to help explain what’s going on within the Organization, as well as Roxas’ motivation behind fighting Sora, and Sora’s resolve to thank Naminé for what she’d done for him. On top of very beautiful HD graphics and a new soundtrack, the game was enjoyable for the viewer and a challenge for the player.

Birth by Sleep didn’t receive much change aside from the new graphics and a few remastered soundtracks. However, the Mirage Arena was modified for single-player use, new bosses were added, and a new Secret Episode was included in the game after finishing the Final Episode. This Secret Episode would tie into the later release of Kingdom Hearts 0.2 on the PS4.

It’s well-known to hardly affect the plot, but some of my theories say otherwise. Coded was a fun, side-game that delved into the data world of Jiminy’s Journal. While not a whole lot happened there, it was a fun game that did hint towards new releases for the future. The Remastered movie pulled a 358 and completely scrapped the gameplay part of the game. It became a 3-hour movie, mostly for viewing pleasure and not exactly designed to move the plot of the franchise. But there were a few-tear jerking cutscenes in there. It was well-worth the remake.

“Okay, but I’m not seeing the point. This still feels like a time-staller for KH3.”

Patience, my reader. We’re on our latest Remix: Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue

yeah, i know, it’s a ridiculous name, but this is Kingdom Hearts, we all thought Goofy was dead for 2 minutes

Dream Drop Distance is infamous for being a mind-fuck to the viewer. While it has it’s flashy gameplay and interesting mechanics, the game is best known for it’s sudden exceleration in the plot with the introduction of time travel.

Yes, because things weren’t confusing enough. Plot aside, the gameplay didn’t change all that much. A few new Dream Eaters were added into the game, but aside from revamping the touch-screen commands, nothing really changed.

Here’s the real reason everyone bought 2.8: Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage

HAH, YOU THOUGHT THAT LAST NAME WAS RIDICULOUS.

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 was a completely new experience in the franchise. It had only been touched on in the Secret Episode of Birth by Sleep and this short game was only a fraction of what was initially planned. I look at this game to be a demo for Kingdom Hearts III, as it uses the finalized graphics, mechanics, and game engine that is to be used in the final installment, as well as having a final cutscene that connects to the beginning of KH3, as confirmed by developers.

The game should only take the average player about 2 to 3 hours to finish this game. It is VERY short, but very amusing. Featuring absolutely stunning graphics, beautifully orchestrated music, fun gameplay, and an immersive world, I find people replaying this small demo all the time. Not only for it’s fun gameplay, but also the character development and story.

Kingdom Hearts Unchained X Back Cover is an HD recreation of the cutscenes in the mobile game, Kingdom Hearts Unchained X. It’s best understood by watching and/or playing the mobile platform, as the story may not make sense without its guiding game. The remaster touches on the 5 Union Leaders and how they intend to fight the impending darkness, as well as introducing the 6th Apprentice and what his role just might be.

“I can see why that LAST one wasn’t a cash-grab, but it definitely felt like a stall... Storm, where are you going with this?”

I admit, I do believe somewhere in my heart that the Remixes were a way to keep us busy while Kingdom Hearts III was being developed. But in no way or form do I think they were meant to just earn money. Granted, they certainly did, but I doubt that was the goal that the team was going for.

Kingdom Hearts has received MANY new fans since the initial release of Kingdom Hearts on the PS2. And what with how spread out every game is onto different consoles, it’s hard to actually play them all. Tetsuya Nomura, game director and developer, stated in an interview himself that the main reason the Remixes were made was to allow Kingdom Hearts fans new and old to visit and revisit the series without having to dig up old consoles.

Kingdom Hearts 1.5+2.5 released onto the PS4, along with Kingdom Hearts 2.8 and the soon-coming Kingdom Hearts III places each and every game onto the PlayStation 4. Albeit pricey even now, every single game is accessible on a single console. Unchained X, or Union Cross, is still a phone game, but I do think they intend to recreate the story cutscenes and release them onto the PS4 in a potential DLC package.

“So... they made it easier for the fans?”

Not just easier, but they made this series mean even MORE to the fans. The recreation of 358/2 Days and Coded as movies, and the addition of new story content and gameplay material would not have been added if it wasn’t for the fans to enjoy. I don’t think I could love Roxas as much as I do if I didn’t get to see that HD Remaster of Days.

And with the release of Back Cover, it’s proof that they intend to bring Union Cross to the console players in some form or another. I can’t play Union Cross simply because I have a phone that doesn’t allow it to work properly. So being able to watch the “important” cutscenes in stunning HD feels like a privilege that I’m entirely thankful for.

And most important to me was the release of Kingdom Hearts 0.2, a practical demo for Kingdom Hearts III. It was a proof-check for the developers, so they could make sure that we knew their development was coming along just fine, so they could make sure that we LIKED what they were making and to see how they could perfect it for the grand title they’ve been working on for over 7 years. It was a reassurance that Kingdom Hearts III was on it’s way and that we would ENJOY it.

The Remixes were meant to tide us over, yes, but they were meant to make us fall in love with this game even MORE. So it would be beloved by our hearts and enjoyed by new ones. The Remixes, in all honesty, just made the Kingdom Hearts series better. I can say that as a fact.

#LONG RANT BUT IT'S A FUN ONE #Kingdom Hearts #kh #com #358/2 days #kh2 #bbs #recoded #ddd #kh0.2 #kh ux #kh back cover #my post

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a-travels · 4 years

Photo

taken: 22 dec, 2019 AMC 34th Street 14, Manhattan, NY

this is where the fun begins

Yes, I’m going to do a review of the new Star Wars movie.

Personally, I hate reading a review and reading endless fluff to hear their thoughts on a movie. So upfront, I did not like this movie at all, perhaps not entirely evidenced by the jubilant nature of this picture, but my views, nonetheless. If you want to stop reading, then by all means please do. This is unsurprisingly my longest post to date, and probably will be for some time so I don’t blame you if you don’t want to read through the text equivalent of a grown man crying.

I don’t know if I represent the classic Star Wars fan or not, but I think it makes more sense to hear my review with some context of my relationship with this franchise.

Perhaps contrary to popular belief, I did not grow up a Star Wars kid. I was certainly aware of the franchise and knew the famous aspects of it. I knew about Darth Vader and lightsabers, I knew about the “I am your father” moment and the Force. I saw Episode III in theatres in 2005 and remember the Anakin and Obi-wan fight, but was asleep for most of the movie. Since then I had somehow seen all of the 6 movies and knew the basic story of the movies, but never had any deep interest in the lore like I do now. My story with Star Wars began in high school, watching the Clone Wars television show. I won’t bore you with how much I loved that show, but it really exposed me to the vastness of the galaxy, the deep emotional storytelling that Star Wars really built its core fanbase on. I found myself connecting to the characters and really encouraged the inner fanboy to latch on to every minuscule detail of the lore and finding the connections to the movies. Needless to say, it was what really awakened (no pun intended) my passion for this franchise and really recontextualized the prequels and original trilogy for me in a new and exciting way. I think it all culminated in this perfect storm before 2015 before The Force Awakens (TFA) came out in 2015 and with general fan fervor at an all-time high. It was a good time to be a Star Wars fan.

Episode VII hits and fans are generally happy. It wasn’t perfect mind you, it felt like a retread, some iffy story points, but overall very satisfying and for many a return to “feeling like Star Wars”, which for many was distinctly absent from the prequels because it was so different. Rogue One was also positively received as well in 2016. I happen to like both of these movies as well.

And then 2017 hits with Episode VIII, The Last Jedi.

I won’t ramble too much about this movie, because I know this is something that divides a lot of people. I think most people in my sphere did actually enjoy this movie. It’s not a perfect movie, and I think everyone (including supporters like myself) would admit that. But for me, this movie recaptured that spark of surprise and wonder that really made me fall in love with this franchise to begin with. By all means, this is an unconventional Star Wars movie: the original hero (Luke) is a jaded cynical man, the whole B-plot is the world's slowest chase sequence, and plot-wise, very little actually happens. I think where this movie really sings was in its attempt to really focus on character and bring something new to Star Wars. It asked questions about the power structure of Star Wars, namely the force, and had you question its workings, matching the cynicism of Luke, but in turn making your conviction in it that much stronger, just like what happened with Luke and when he comes back and has that incredible Kurosawa-esque fight with Kylo on Crait. I think a lot of people who think of this franchise, fans especially, have such a fixed idea of what this movie and franchise should be, that anything that seems to deviate or challenge that can seem honestly jarring in some ways. It’s why the Holiday Special is reviled because coming right off the original movie, people didn’t still have that sense of what made Star Wars, Star Wars; but when people saw it, they knew that wasn’t it. It’s why people hated the prequels (at first) because rather than seeing a hero’s journey, good versus evil and more, you got clunky dialogue, droll politics, seemingly-idiotic and childish characters, and wooden acting. For all the wrong the prequels did, and the criticism it (rightfully) deserved, the prequels had a story to tell and told us something new (albeit in a largely ham-fisted way). Keep the prequels in mind because I’ll be touching back on it.

I’m going to be upfront, I’m writing this bit now almost two months after I started this post and saw the movie. All the stuff above this was from then, but I’ve really just taken a break to just let my thoughts congeal more on this movie because I was just in a bit of shock coming out of it. To be honest, I still can’t tell you my thoughts on this movie are fully formed, but I do think I’m finally ready to express my thoughts on this movie in some sort of coherent manner.

If it isn’t obvious, my review is obviously going to be colored by my view of this franchise. You are entitled to your own view on this franchise and view on this movie. Also, I have tried to link the deeper lore information with articles in this review. The links are the underlined words so feel free to check them out. Anyways, here we go.

So, I didn’t like the movie then; but having thought about now for two months, this film just makes me angrier and sadder with every passing thought. For me, this movie is not only a betrayal of the past two movies which I enjoyed but honestly a betrayal of the whole franchise which I love so much. There was an excellent video I just watched and I think it accurately sums up my views on this movie quite well. But this movie for me can be summed up in four words: unearned, unsatisfying, wasted potential. I think it makes the most sense to unpack this movie with those four words because, to be honest, I could go on for hours on this movie, and I think any of you who know me, know I could, but still probably will.

Unearned.

This movie touts itself as an ending, holding all the answers to the questions we started off with from VII, and arguably, from I-VI. I was nervous when it was announced that the king of the mystery box, the notorious reviver and rebooter of franchises, J.J. Abrams, was tasked to not only write an ending but answer all these questions, many of which he set up. Seeing the ire he caused in the Star Trek community after Star Trek: Into Darkness, I can’t say I was all too shocked to see that these answers (among the few we actually got) unfolded in ways that made little to no sense with the story we were set up with.

Let’s start off with the big one, (oh yeah also this post is going to be spoilerific. I’d say don’t read if you haven’t seen it, but frankly I don’t care if you just read this, don’t see it and just save yourself the time) Rey Palpatine, or Rey Skywalker?? Yeah, I have problems with both in massive, massive ways. But let’s tackle these one by one. Rey is our hero of this trilogy, a character we are introduced to, who we are told and who herself thinks is nobody, is whisked away on this journey on a story much bigger than her. Nothing new here, this is just Luke as a girl so far. Episode VII goes out of its way to seed us with this one big question: who is Rey? Our extensive Wookiepedia-esque knowledge of Star Wars dictates to us that, based on precedent, if she is the main character, she has to be someone we know. Anakin was our prequel protagonist and was related to Luke, maybe she’s related to Luke? That was what we wanted to know going out of VII and into VIII. So what do we see in Episode VIII? Rey struggles with trying to figure out who she is, “trying to find her place” and even dabbles with the dark side of the force in her “limited” training to try to uncover who she is. And what was the answer: she’s no one. A shock to the system. Impossible! How can this be? A protagonist this powerful is a nobody? She’s too overpowered! No force user with that little training could be that strong. But is it really that shocking? The Skywalkers started off as a family of nobodies. Shmi was a slave. Anakin was a child without a father, albeit with some freaky immaculate conception circumstances, but in all other senses, unremarkable and inconspicuous. The same could be said about Rey. And honestly, was it really all that surprising? The trailer we saw at Star Wars Celebration 2015 literally starts off with Maz asking Rey “Who are you?” and her replying “I’m no one.” I know a bunch of people were not so happy with Rey already being so force-sensitive and powerful, essentially being a “Mary Sue” character despite having no important lineage or bloodline. But to me, the democratization of the force was something that really intrigued me and seemed to set the stage for a new era of Star Wars, maybe with a new set of movies based on Rey’s lineage, the Rey Saga or something. This was an idea we saw with broom boy at the end of VIII, which fits with what we already know about the galaxy, that everyone is born with the force but some kids are force-sensitive, and that he could be among the next generation of “Jedi” or force users. And then IX comes and tells us, nope it was just Palpatine’s granddaughter. Where was that evidence (and do not point me to that fan theory video where some guy on YouTube who says that)? Where in any of the prior movies did we get any remote inkling of Rey’s connection at all to Palpatine? Hell, where was the hint that Palpatine was remotely involved with any of the scheming going on in VII and VIII? Even in the prequels, we got hints that Anakin would turn to evil (fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering). Well I can tell you having scrutinized those prior two films myself, there was never any seeds of Palpatine’s presence. It was something just brought in because “OOO a name I recognize of a powerful force user.” How that happened, what that means for the story beats of her being no one in those other two movies, “Eh, just don’t worry about those, this is how it is”. Unearned. And oh boy, Rey Skywalker. Let’s talk about this in the context of Episode IX logic, apart from the logic I already presented, that the prior movies very clearly seem to imply Rey is a nobody. Episode IX is a movie about Rey ultimately discovering who she is, and how when she finds out her lineage, how she eschews her “nature” and stands for good and righteousness in the galaxy because she isn’t defined by a name or bloodline. Even beyond that, we’re told she’s nobody because her parents “chose to be nobodies” and didn’t want to be defined by the name of the reviled megalomaniac of the galaxy. Great! So, wouldn’t it be interesting to see our character find strength in herself and set aside the dumb importance of name and legacy (letting the past die 😉) and honor her parents by choosing to be nobody herself? She buries Luke’s and Leia’s lightsabers on Tatooine (a planet that Luke hated by the way and Leia was on for maybe a few hours or days as a slave to a fat, gross, giant slug in a metal bikini and has no attachment to, a planet with no significance to Rey either) and is somehow asked randomly by this traveler “who are you”, who isn’t satisfied when she gives her name as “Rey”. Forgive me for being nit-picky here, but how weird is it to force a conversation to ask someone their last name randomly, especially when there are TONS of creatures in the galaxy with one-name names. Somehow, a vision of Luke and Leia is enough to convince her she is now a Skywalker, because....force ghosts, Tatooine, Twin Suns, Binary Sunset music, nostalgia-porn. Where in the hell does it make any sense that she adopts the name of Skywalker? How? Because it doesn’t make sense, because it is unearned. Nothing about her “choosing” to be a Skywalker jives with the internal logic this movie sets out, much less the logical flow of the prior eight movies as a whole.

What about Reylo. Oh boy. This is something I know a select few of my friends actually liked. Yes, I concede there was some sexual tension between Rey and Kylo in Episode VIII, but I do not think they were setting them up to be a thing. Kylo is a character who murdered his own father in cold blood, and then murdered his own master (Snoke). This entire time, we are led to believe Snoke is manipulating Kylo and his conflict isn’t given room to settle because its forced one way over the other. Now, Snoke is dead and Kylo is relinquished of this external force telling him what to do, and he still chose to be evil and rule the galaxy, despite Rey’s pleas to join her on the light. Any and all hope to redeem him in my eyes, vanished in that moment. Yes, Anakin fell to the dark side and did some terrible things, but he never was irredeemable because there was someone above him pulling the strings and orchestrating it all. This is a key story structure that makes us as an audience believe that is because of how our villains were set up. In these movies, you have your big bad villain, and then your sub-villain. The sub-villain is usually redeemable but is often dispensable, while the big bad villain is simply the embodiment of evil and can only be destroyed, not redeemed. The sub-villain is sympathetic because you get the sense they are being manipulated or played like a puppet, always leaving room to be redeemed or free themselves, if they can be free of those shackles. That is the nature of the relationship between Palpatine and Darth Vader, and that was the nature of the relationship between Snoke and Kylo Ren. The difference now is Kylo kills Snoke in VIII instead of IX and has now an entire other movie to live with the consequences. He is free of those shackles, and yet he still chooses to be evil. Rey’s connection through “force-time” was her connection to Kylo and her attempt to turn him. She literally leaves her training with Luke because she believes that, only to find Kylo betray her faith in him. Rey acknowledges he cannot be saved, and literally closes the door on Kylo, accepting he is now fully gone. Tell me, how does closing the literal and metaphorical door on someone who has murdered his own father, killed hundreds of innocent people, was given the full free choice to be good and choose evil, lead to love? Because it’s unearned. And frankly, their interactions in Episode IX doesn’t really do much to change that either. Kylo Ren is still moody and literally acts as a constant source of opposition to Rey, with little to actually show their relationship is romantic in any way. Oh yeah, but somehow getting stabbed by a girl and getting healed from almost dying really is such a turn on. I’m sorry, but it’s just unearned. (Hello from even further in the future, I am now writing this in April with updates to this bit. The novelization of Episode IX revealed that their kiss wasn’t romantic, in fact. They gave us this: “His [Kylo’s] heart was full as Rey reached for his face, let her fingers linger against his cheek. And then, wonder of wonders, she leaned forward and kissed him. A kiss of gratitude, acknowledgement of their connection, celebration that they’d found each other at last.” I don’t know what the hell is going on in Lucasfilm, but this is much, MUCH worse. Just a few months back, J.J. said their relationship was a “brother-sister” thing in a romantic way but not really. Can we go back to a half-baked romance again, please? Also, they revealed that Rey’s dad is failed clone of Palpatine.).

Now, let’s talk about Palpatine himself. “The dead speak” “Somehow, Palpatine has returned.” Yeah so this is the big, big leap this movie asks you to take right from the get-go. I understood a lot of the trepidation around bringing back Palps back, mostly surrounding the fear that his return invalidates the sacrifice Anakin/Vader make at the end of Episode VI, bringing balance to the force, mortally electrocuting himself in the process saving his son out of love. I understood the concern, but I had enjoyed the first two films in the sequel and I’m always willing to give a movie a shot in the theater. As long as they explained his return in a satisfying manner, I’d be in. Once the lights dim, the Star Wars logo pops up and you hear John Williams triumphant score, regardless of the drama and bad press, everyone always starts with a clean slate. And then, of course, we get no explanation as to why he’s back beyond a cheeky quip from the prequels “The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.” Har har, +100 nostalgia, much memes.

Yeah it just boggles my mind that the head villain, that for six movies our protagonists tried to defeat and who we thought was defeated (and who even the actor, Ian McDiarmid thought was dead), somehow came back to life. He was thrown down an energy shaft, and vaporized. Then the space station in which he was thrown down is subsequently destroyed and atomized, and somehow, we’re told he comes back to life. Perhaps the casual audience wouldn’t remember or notice or care, but beyond the fans, and anyone following a story deserves a little bit more than just a little tease with no actual explanation. For the record, yes, they did explain how Palpatine was saved, but in the visual dictionary, with his body retrieved by Sith Acolytes, brought to Exogol, and revived using “technology and the occult”. Say what you will, but that is not satisfying to me and still begs a better explanation for his return and undercut Kylo’s character progression, invalidating his choice to be bad without being beholden to anyone. Kylo was not going to be redeemed, and then Disney gave him a get-out-of-jail-free-card by putting him under the shadow of “the real villain” so that his redemption “made sense”. Except, it made no sense to randomly introduce a more powerful villain. It was narrative cheating and it was unearned to see Palpatine back, and eventually, Kylo/Ben redeemed because of it. It just is not good enough. I think more heinous for me, is that this move inarguably undoes the work of the past 6 movies. In the effort to create this breathing piece of nostalgia and love for George Lucas and the past 42 years of storytelling, it ends up betraying it in perhaps one of the most scathing ways imaginable, unintentional or not.

(Hi, another update from two-month-future me. The novelization for this movie now revealed that Palpatine’s “essence” is what is alive and is now being transferred into clone bodies, of sorts. Here is the quote: “So the falling, dying Emperor called on all the dark power of the Force to thrust his consciousness far, far away, to a secret place he had been preparing. His body was dead, an empty vessel, long before it hit the bottom of the shaft, and his mind jolted to new awareness in a new body—a painful one, a temporary one.” Yeah, this novelization really isn’t making things better.)

Unsatisfying.

Admittedly, this is a very subjective metric (though I guess so are the other two descriptors), but satisfaction is a unique experience for each person, more than the other two descriptors. I think one of the worst things a movie can do is be boring, where there is no excitement or energizing quality to a story that there it can’t illicit any emotion out of you. What I think is worse potentially, and what I think is the cardinal sin of this movie, isn’t just the fact this movie was bad, but how it is so far beyond a failure that it has retroactively affected how I view the prior movies now and has diminished their impact on me.

Let’s first talk about its failings as a movie itself. I think when discussing this movie, and this new era of Star Wars, it’s hard not to separate the shift in direction from its new relationship with its new owner, Disney. It’s actually shocking to see how Disney has overall mismanaged this franchise and created such a rift amongst the fandom from the five or so movies it has released over the past four years. This movie more than any other, even more than VII, feels uniquely like a product of corporate intervention and directing, rather than the voice and vision of an auteur. What is now known, is that Disney fired the original director of this movie and scrapped his plans for (in my mind) a far more interesting movie that took the characters and story in brand new directions, paying homage to the past without relying on it, but utilizing it in an effective manner to further the story and plot in a meaningful way. And yes, it importantly kept Rey a “nobody” and it kept Kylo Ren bad and unredeemed, and did not have them kiss. If you want to read more about this, I recommend searching for “Colin Trevorrow Dual of the Fates Script” and you’re bound to find it. I also have the full pdf script of it and would be happy to share it if you would like. I encourage you to read it if you’re interested and form your own opinions on it.

Speaking more to this movie, it objectively had three major goals: wrap up its own three-movie trilogy, wrap up the entire 42-year, nine-film saga, and of course function as its own movie. That is not an easy job by any stretch, and I think any filmmaker would have an incredibly challenging time accomplishing those three tasks, while under the scrutiny of a giant corporation and a rabid fanbase. Except, that is almost exactly the same position George Lucas was in when making his prequel films. Again, I’ll get back to that point in a little bit. I think there could be an argument of cutting this film some slack if it accomplished some of these goals. Maybe this movie didn’t end all nine movies nicely, but at least it worked in its own trilogy? Maybe this movie didn’t end either the trilogy or saga so well, but at least it was a fun movie itself? Somehow, J.J. Abrams and Disney succeeded in fulfilling none of these tasks in my mind.

Like I mentioned, the Force Awakens is far from a perfect movie, but it too came in with a very similar set of goals, especially being Disney’s first Star Wars movie, those being:

1. Establish a new story that connects with the prior six films 2. Set up the foundation for a new trilogy that will last the next 4-5 year 3. Reinvigorate the Star Wars fandom and get them excited about the new era of Star Wars entertainment on the way 4. Work as its own movie.

I think in some ways, these challenges were harder than what Episode IX faced and yet in a lot of ways, it still succeeded in many, if not all of these respects. I think the major failing of Episode VII is its reliance and, often, copying of past story points without much of the finesse in “making it rhyme like poetry” which George Lucas loved to do so much. Episode VII really did reinvigorate the franchise, did introduce us to great cast and characters that left us wanting more from a trilogy, did connect in some satisfying (though sometimes a bit on the nose) ways, and did leave us feeling excited, hopeful and energized with Star Wars. Episode VIII came in and was arguably a lot more disruptive, asking us to challenge what we knew and what we thought we wanted to know and instead posed more basic fundamental questions about the foundations of this story, which I think was an important introspective moment for the saga and this trilogy as the penultimate chapter of both. It had us question the nature of the force, the importance of this “Skywalker” lineage, and the nature of Jedi in this universe where Luke truly is the only one left. It had us question our own conceptions of Luke as a swashbuckling do-no-wrong hero and showed us a more cynical, perhaps jarring, but a realistic Luke that blames himself and his belief in this ancient religion for unleashing Kylo Ren and a new era of darkness upon the galaxy. We also saw how Luke was struggling with how he was roped into this way of life from this old hermit he met for a day or two and then left to navigate reviving the religion of the Jedi on his own. We were also asked to question the nature of the force and whether this sort of power was isolated to a few people and families, or is truly something anyone can have? Again, whether fans agree or not with these story choices or not, The Last Jedi still functions as its own story and does (in my opinion) meaningfully connect to the prior story. Whether fans believe that meaning was eschewing the fabric of Star Wars or whether they believe these challenges strengthened the mythology (like I do), it was still meaningful in that it does draw upon the story from the last movie directly and progress it in some manner (whether a positive manner or not, I’ll let you decide). And regardless of how you like VIII or not, the movie left the door wide open for any kind of story to be told. Our heroes are starting from zero, the villain is now trying to learn the ropes. There is no real cliffhanger of sorts but rather an invitation for total freedom to tell the next story and wrap up this trilogy and saga.

Episode IX unfortunately comes across as one of the laziest ways imaginable to end this nine-story arc. In serving as the final movie of the saga, this movie seemed obsessed with callbacks, and nostalgia plays to remind us of the world we’re in and the “story” we’re watching, rather than relying on the story, character and narrative. I think to a fault, it incorporated elements of past movies, just to say it had it, and in many ways cheapened the overall character or object or story point. I think the biggest example again, is bringing the emperor back, which makes such little sense in the context of what we were presented in the prior two films because it wasn’t ever hinted or ever part of the plan to include him in the first place. The emperor was simply added because of the “nostalgia”. Using the remains of the Death Star on Kef Bir was super cool imagery, but didn’t we already literally see the Death Star completely disintegrated? Na, it’s ok, a huge chunk of the important bit just happened to land here fully intact for our heroes to find. There are many more callbacks in this movie, but almost every one of them, I’m left asking myself: “Why?” “Why did this callback have to be here?” “Could something else achieve the same effect?” Why did Maz give Chewie a Battle of Yavin medal? Why did we go back to Tatooine at the end? More often than not, none of those callbacks had to be there other than to try and excite fans, except doing so in the laziest manner by ultimately pandering. Callbacks are not a bad thing, mind you. Star Wars has been secretly calling back and seeding things in the background for ages, hinting and suggesting to us the vastness of this galaxy in terms of creatures and places. A recent example that comes to mind is Avengers: Endgame, and how it uses callbacks masterfully, calling back not just items and places, but character and relationships. It all works there because everything serves its purpose to drive that story forward in a manner that doesn’t feel cheap but feels necessary and important and something that wouldn’t work otherwise. This movie tried to be like Endgame in that regard but just failed to capitalize effectively on nostalgia and characters in the same way in way to emotionally resonate, but rather elicit a cheap, ephemeral reaction. This was a movie that lived from moment to moment of attempting excitement, but ultimately never establishes a through line for me to care about it as a cohesive piece of a nine-chapter story.

(For the record, I am writing the rest of what is below in April, like those other parenthetical notes above.)

Beyond just my frustration with callbacks, I ultimately ask myself, “What is the drive of this trilogy? What was it trying to accomplish?” The whole premise of this movie is Palpatine is back and they need to stop him from taking over the galaxy. I’m definitely beating a dead horse, but how does that adequately connect to the goals of Snoke/Kylo from the last two movies? How do our character’s stories culminate and end in this movie, in the context of the prior two films? I’ve already talked a bit about Rey’s story making little sense, but my god did they squander Finn’s character. If you look at the “new” characters from this trilogy, Poe was our Han Solo-eque type, Rey obviously our Luke type, but Finn was someone totally new. The idea of a disillusioned Stormtrooper seemed inspired, a totally different perspective in these Star Wars, a regular grunt who didn’t like the side they were fighting on in this war. For all my love of Episode VIII, that movie did not do much for Finn’s story. In the three years since VIII released, I have increasingly appreciated Finn’s journey in VIII, starting as someone who only cared about himself and Rey, to caring about the overall cause of the resistance. It was intriguing, albeit not executed in the best manner. But I think back to IX and struggle to see what the whole point of his arc was. He was a key fighter, who becomes a leader, and finds a whole group of defected Stormtroopers, but we never explore it. And all the while, he has this “burning secret” he needs to tell Rey and never does, which we find out from press junkets is that he’s supposedly force sensitive. It’s just an absolute mess. Even Poe’s arc seems to revert this movie in some regards, where VIII was all about him learning to not be so trigger-happy and actually thinking through things like a leader, IX is the same story beat about him becoming a leader in the eventual shadow of Leia. The only character who’s arc makes some sense (apart from the nonsensical Reylo kiss), was Kylo Ren, because he seems like the only character JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson somewhat agreed on. It’s why undoubtedly the best scene in this movie was his vision of Han Solo, as a revisit of the original confrontation on Starkiller base where Han died. Even then though, look deeper and you realize Kylo’s arc is also filled with contradictions.

Perhaps my view is a bit too colored by my view of Episode VIII, but in terms of following the narrative, Kylo was someone who was tired of being beholden to the past and killed Snoke in part as a refutation of the traditional power structure that had held the galaxy. At the end of VIII, he literally tells Luke “I’ll destroy her, and you, and all of it”, being Rey, Luke and all the remnants of this old way of life. Again, whether or not you like that story in VIII, as a storyteller, J.J.’s and Chris Terrio’s jobs were to continue the story in a manner such that there was consistency to the through lines. On the face of it, Kylo’s actions make some sense, again because I think there was some general agreement on him. Think deeper and you realize this is someone who refuted his past, his “destiny” and decided to choose his own path, only to inexplicably come back to his past again. If he wanted to come back to his past, that should have been seeded in VIII, where the conflict still existed. Rey felt this conflict and that’s why she went to try and redeem Kylo. But, once she is with him in the throne room, Snoke articulates how he now senses Kylo’s resolve where there was once conflict. Kylo made his choice, and we bring back up again the idea that he’s conflicted simply because Disney wanted Kylo to be redeemed. It’s lazy and its narrative cheating.

I will say, I know some Episode VIII supporters were unhappy with Luke’s portrayal in this movie and were quick to jump and say how J.J. “undid” Rian’s take on Luke. Luke is actually someone else who’s character stays consistent with his arc from VIII to IX, where he learns to believe in the Force and the light side again and learns to accept his role as a Jedi. Looking beyond characters though, the trilogy set up various story points which we were hoping to get some kind of payoff for. Much like the movie, I’m not really going to delve into them too much other than just list them. Who are the Knights of Ren (idk, but they all died at the hand of their supposed leader)? Who was Snoke (just a test tube deformed clone I guess)? How did Maz get Luke’s lightsaber (“a good story for another time” 😒)? How did Snoke seduce Kylo and undo the work of the prequels and original trilogy (eh, look for it in a comic I guess)? How did the First Order come about and rise to power (¯\_(ツ)_/¯)? What did the galaxy look like once the rebels won and could bring democracy back to the galaxy (watch The Mandalorian, only on Disney+)? The only real question this movie was interested in answering for the trilogy was Rey’s identity, and really that’s it. And even then, we kind of already got an answer about that from the past two movies: Rey was “nobody”.

Listen, a movie can suck in terms of connecting to prior movies, connecting to a full nine movie story, but hey if it’s a good adventure of its own then maybe there’s something redeemable about it. Unfortunately, this movie fundamentally fails to even service its own story properly. Any movie, no matter how good, needs to be self-contained and its own story in order to be effective. A storyteller cannot rely on a moviegoer to have seen eight other movies, read comics, books, etc. to know what’s going on. For all the praise I’ll give Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame, my one strike against them is that the emotional resonance and impact of these movies only hits fully when you’ve followed all prior 21-22 movies, like me. It relies heavily on intertextuality of prior movies, though not like Episode IX as a cheat to explain things. And even if you haven’t watched every movie, you can make some sense of what’s going on and get some of the impact, it just won’t hit the same way. It’s near impossible to balance that inclusivity with referential storytelling, but Avengers just about gets away with it because each story still does work on its own. While the Avengers movies are enhanced with more background knowledge, they did still give you every relevant piece of information you needed to follow the story. Episode IX on the other hand, uses narrative cheats to hope you’ll buy into their story and go with it. Obviously, the big one cheat here is not explaining Palpatine’s return. Again, a villain who was thought to be dead and is crucial to the overall story should have his return be properly explained. They did it in Kingsman with Harry’s character, they did it in Avengers: Endgame with Gamora and Thanos, they even do it with Superman in the dumpster fire that is Justice League. When you leave something like that unresolved, it just leaves a giant asterisk above the whole movie, leaving you questioning the nature of it all, asking why it’s even happening, rather than being able to go on the ride. You know, even if the movie told us that “technology and the occult” story beat, or even showed it to us as a prologue to the movie, I would have been able to buy into this premise of this movie more and not just be left asking why or how the whole time. Again, I recognize that those questions may be more personal and not apply to everyone, but I think the criticism of a movie being its own story and explaining itself still holds. Beyond that, the movie just never has any time to breathe and appreciate its own emotions. With a majority of a movie seeming like a video game fetch-quest (that is just getting one item to get another item, repeatedly), the characters aren’t given the room to grow and are simply at the mercy of the next macguffin to find.

One of the fundamental ideas of storytelling is the idea of a passive protagonist versus an active protagonist. The latter is a character that drives the nature of the story through their actions, whereas the former is driven by the flow of the story. Neither is necessarily better than the other and can be employed to excellent effect in both regards. Perhaps one of the best examples of passive protagonist is Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski in The Big Lebowski, a guy who just has consistently poor luck surrounded by moronic friends and people trying to take advantage of him, and really speaks to the kind of character The Dude really is. In an action or drama movie or a movie with a strong lead character, you generally want a balance of plot happening with the lead character forced to make consequential choices that add tension and weight to the story. Star Wars is a franchise driven by strong characters with their backs consistently against the wall and forced to make tough choices. It’s what drives the tension as Han Solo tries to escape Vader’s Star Destroyer by going through the asteroid field in Episode V, or compels Luke to leave with Ben Kenobi to go to Alderaan in Episode IV, or how makes Rey decide to leave her training with Luke to try and save Kylo in Episode VIII. This element of choice in a movie also works crucially to tell us about a character and their motivations. Han chooses to go through the asteroid field, an almost suicidal endeavor (the odds being 3,720 to 1), telling us how this is a man acting with a mix of desperation and bravado, perhaps overconfident in his abilities while also secretly trying to impress Princess Leia who he clearly likes. Rey goes back to Kylo out of a naïve sense of optimism and hope in other people and hasn’t had the experience Luke has, chiding his cynicism. This movie doesn’t give room for a character to decide much of anything. Rather there is a problem and somehow only one solution to the story. The whole goal of the characters this movie is seemingly to find this Sith wayfinder, to reach the Emperor and destroy his Final Order fleet. Conveniently, there happens to be one last clue of where to look, that leads to one thing, that takes them to a place, that leads to another place, where something just happens to work out and then the final battle takes place. If you’ve seen this movie, then you know I’ve just pretty much exactly described the order of events in this movie. There is no room for a character’s choice to dictate the flow of events here, there is no crossroads of destiny for someone to face. Ultimately, there is no tension and no stakes, because you’re left feeling like the heroes will just find the next clue to the next place or someone will tell them. It’s happened X number of times before, so why not have it happen again. It not only comes across as lazy but ends up hurting our characters’ progressions in the process.

I’ve also already talked about how the within-movie logic just seems to crumble on itself. This movie only seemed to be headed towards tackling the renunciation of bloodlines and the internal conflict between inherent nature and free will. Instead of seeing those story beats through, the story decides to instead shift away from that flow and gives us something we don’t expect but dripping with nostalgia. Obviously, the Rey story spring directly to mind, but even Kylo’s story does the same thing, like we talked about. So, I won’t go much further into all that again, but yeah. It’s pretty baffling how for me this movie just systematically failed on every level.

Wasted Potential

When I drafted out this review, I had put my main points for each of these three descriptors for this movie. I guess in the course of my weak-sauce furor and passion, I inadvertently covered most of my points on this part in prior parts. I was going to talk here about Finn’s story arc being totally wasted and also the whole idea of Rey being nobody, wasted. The former I think I spoke to a sufficient amount and the latter I’ve practically beaten to death by this point in this seemingly never-ending review. All I’ll say on these two matters is that there was the potential to tell a very unique story about finding your identity alone from two unique perspectives. For Finn, it was someone who thought he was alone, but finding that he was one of many and found validation and strength in others, where he initially was fearful of others except for Rey. And on the flip side, Rey’s story could have presented the idea of accepting who you are, even if you are a “nobody”, anyone can become someone. In this case, Rey could have become her own person, a new hero to which the galaxy looked up to or someone totally different.

Yeah, it’s really no wonder this is my longest post to date, but frankly I don’t imagine any of the five of you reading this are all too surprised. So, I’ll just touch a bit on the last point I wanted to talk about which had a lot of potential.

When George Lucas started this crazy Star Wars project back in the 70’s, he was a scrappy, young filmmaker really trying to push the boundaries and do something new with film on a shoestring budget. Doing something new was always at the forefront of George Lucas’s goal with every Star Wars film, through the prequels. I had mentioned back in the beginning of this mess how the prequels, for all the bold steps it tried to take, ended up making a lot of missteps as well. In a way, Lucas is in a similar position as Disney right now, begged by fans to make something new, and immediately angering fans with what they tried to do. Where I think Disney’s vision and Lucas’s vision differ is that one, Lucas had a clear vision and plan for his movies while Disney did not, but two, I think history will and already is looking back at Lucas’s films more favorably than we will on Disney’s trilogy. I think for all the missteps that the prequels made, a lot of the kids that grew up with those movies now champion it in the way Lucas intended them to. He was unapologetic in his approach to Star Wars being a space soap opera for children, teaching them good from evil through a basic hero’s journey. Disney for all its guts with the Marvel movies, trying new genres and championing new stories and heroes was playing it ridiculously safe with Star Wars. Very clearly, Disney’s goal was to make movies for fans and not necessarily children like Lucas did. So their primary focus to please fans was making movies that skewed perhaps a bit more mature, but “felt like Star Wars”. Once they re-established that “feel” with The Force Awakens and re-energized the fan base, they inarguably ended up losing a lot of that goodwill taking creative chances with Episode VIII. So rather than hold true to their Marvel formula of trusting the filmmaker and story, it seems that Disney caved and wanted to keep “pleasing fans” instead. A choice like that isn’t necessarily a wrong one, ultimately these movies are costly projects and they need to be made in a way that can generate the money back and actually make money. Where I think Disney was artistically and creatively bankrupt was relying on and weaponizing fan service and nostalgia to try and win back good will. And for what it’s worth, a lot of people did like Episode IX, because a lot of them said it “felt like Star Wars again.”

I mentioned that idea also in the beginning, “feeling like Star Wars”. To be honest, I thought I knew that feeling, but I honestly don’t know if I do anymore. In the past five years of Disney’s reign over this franchise, it seems to have evolved into something else entirely, something designed simply to please fans and focus on its past more than explore a lot of new ideas and themes. Arguably, Star Wars television has taken the biggest steps in that direction and that’s where my interest also seems to have shifted as well. And even then, our “new shows” are just fresh coats of paint on old ideas and concepts. The Mandalorian, for how much I loved the first season, is comprised of proxies of characters we as fans knew and associated with. Mando is the same as Boba Fett, IG-88 is the same as IG-11, we have the Empire (Werner Herzog and Giancarlo Esposito’s characters), and we have a force user in Baby Yoda. Even the return of Clone Wars these past weeks (which I am not complaining about), seems more of a reaction to give fans what they want rather than an idea borne out of creative inspiration or guts. And for however happy I am to see Clone Wars back and see its actual finale, I think a lot of fans and I had made peace with the way it ended with season 6, unresolved though it may have been. It’s not necessarily something new but revisiting something we know. The sequels were just a roundabout way to revisit the characters we knew and loved, just older. Rogue One was arguably a new angle on a story we already knew from the opening crawl of Episode IV. Solo was a backstory really no one wanted on a character we already understood fairly well. Maybe that’s what Star Wars has just become now. That “feeling” may now just be that simply be the sense Disney tries to evoke by drawing on nostalgia and old themes and ideas and characters and bits and bobs, and that’s really saddening to me.

Lucas’s idea was always to tell a new story, something different and unexplored. He follows the philosophy that Nintendo does when making a new game in a series like Mario or Zelda, or Pixar when making a new film: if there isn’t something new (a game mechanic, a story idea, a new film-making technique), then what’s the point in making it. George was obviously interested in telling his story, but in a way that pushed the limit of what was possible and sparking a sense of amusement and awe in what we watch. By this point, audiences have become accustomed to the level of photorealistic computer graphics employed in major blockbuster movies. It’s not hard to imagine anymore and is generally easy to discern. Lucas was interested in doing something no one else could do or conceive of, and in turn audiences wouldn’t be able to believe was possible. It’s why he founded Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere VFX company in the world today, to realize his lofty goals of space wizards and impossible spaceships and laser swords. It’s why he made Skywalker Sound, the masters of sound mixing and editing, to construct this sonic tapestry to define this universe. It’s why he helped spin-off Pixar in the 90’s with Steve Jobs, albeit not related to Star Wars but still exemplifying Lucas’s ultimate drive for doing new things. That Star Wars feeling isn’t just sense of excitement from the clashing of a lightsaber or the recurrence of a familiar face, but the investment in a character’s backstory, the sense of wonderment of seeing something pure and unadulterated from someone’s wildest imagination. It’s the music, it’s the atmosphere and background characters. It’s why a lot of fans were averse to some of the choices Lucas made in the prequels, doing away with a lot of the practical sets that were common in the original trilogy. In Lucas trying to realize his vision for this bustling galaxy and universe with increasingly complex elements and ideas, it ultimately became easier to just add it in post than build it, but in turn sacrificed the grittiness and rough-worn down of the galaxy we were exploring.

Before I’m accused of being a prequel shill, I will simply say that I don’t love all the prequels. I think Episode I is charming, II and III are messes for sure. But I think in all of the failures of execution, Lucas really did try to do something original and new with this story. You can fault a story for maybe not resonating or working, yes, but for trying, no. These were movies that were not trying to be “Star Wars”, but something new that was in that same universe, and I think fans rebelled because of that. It was something new that challenged us to look at this galaxy differently at a different time and didn’t match that same mold we were accustomed to from 1983 to 1999. I think A lot can be forgiven for Episode VII especially in how it was trying to get us back to that feeling that a lot of fans were missing. Also, it’s a very unique position it was in, as the characters in that story were a lot like us, subject to the tale and legend of the “Star Wars”, with the hero Luke Skywalker and the Rebellion and whatnot. They were reverential to the past, because it was a movie that drawing in it to set up the future. Episode VIII took that and tried to set the stage for something totally new, and question what actually was and wasn’t important in this myth we thought we know. Episode IX instead then decides to revoke the thrust towards the future and decides to focus on the past to a far greater degree. But rather than show it the reverence it received from Episode VII, its ultimately stuck pandering to it, rather than adding to the conversation. It was a move very clearly to recapture the enjoyment the audiences found in VII, by trying to appease angry fans clinging to the past. Ultimately, this movie ends up appeasing so few because it is more focused on trying to win back the goodwill it lost from Episode VIII than focusing on its own story, and just ends up as a mess as a result.

It hurts to feel this way about Star Wars. This is the first mainline Star Wars movie I haven’t wanted to rewatch. It makes me feel upset and even angry at times. It took me so long to write this because I’d just get so bummed every time I’d start writing and thinking about this movie and just lose all energy to keep going till some time later. It’s a movie that has made me re-evaluate my relationship with this franchise and question whether I was even right to enjoy the last two movies, VII and VIII, since they’re all meant to be the same story. I think I just have to accept that this new Star Wars is not all made for people like me anymore. I think like a trip to the restaurant or a buffet, I’ll just pick and choose the bits I engage with now. I am quite happy with Star Wars on television right now, but I just hope at some point, somehow, the movies will connect with me again. I just hope the movies can connect with all the fans again eventually, remind us of that magic that defined each generation while not being beholden to the past. I hope it continues to fascinate and indulge our sense of childlike wonderment, building lightsabers, theorizing the physics of star ships, acting like we’re force choking our friends or able to grab the remote with the force across the living room. The Star Wars experience isn’t a solitary one, but rather one best shared with friends and loved ones. It has the power to bring together a disparate group of friends from across the country to one theater for two+ hours to eventually praise and/or criticize it. I just hope Star Wars can warrant such a jubilant reunion again, not relegating such occurrences to a long time ago, or far, far apart.

Also, Ben Shapiro liked this movie so I think that just validates why this movie is total garbage. Maybe that could have been my whole argument. Eh, four months too late I guess…

tl;dr – If into the recordings you go, only pain you will find.

P.S. If you made it to the end of this review, congrats. Perhaps you are nearly as crazy as I am, though honestly probably not. Nevertheless, I appreciate you sticking around to read through this all.

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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Batman #87

James Tynion IV and Guillem March team up to make me stop buying Batman.

Part of me just wants to write "UGH!" and be done with reviewing this comic book. But another part of me is hungry. But still another part of me, the one that is against just typing "UGH!", is outraged that I just paid five dollars for a regular issue of Batman because of a stupid glossy and thick cover and that part of me demands that I vent more fully. And yet that's not even why I'm fucking livid! That's just my first and most shallow complaint! I'd prefer if DC Comics just gave me a regular issue of Batman with a regular comic book cover and simply printed on that cover, "We know this is the exact same quality comic book that we'd sell for $3.99 usually but it has Batman in it which means it will sell way more copies than the other issues we sell and we want that sweet, sweet extra dollar per issue windfall!"

Complaint #2: The Riddler believes that a riddle without a solution is the greatest riddle.

Never mind that Guillem March drew The Riddler naked while he's thinking about the greatest riddle ever while on weapons grade amphetamines and he has no visible erection. That's a minor side complaint that I simply assume was on everybody's list of things wrong with this issue. But the revelation that James Tynion IV doesn't understand the concept of riddles is beyond criticism. It's post-critical! The entire purpose of a riddle is that it has a fucking clever answer! A riddle with no answer is a mystery and The Riddler isn't called The Mysteryer! A riddle with no answer is something The Mad Hatter might be into but not The Riddler, Mr. Scott-Snyder-Lite IV! And before some Riddler-loving cuck nerd decides to argue that what Tynion meant was that The Riddler loves a super duper challenging riddle, let me say this: "Then he should have fucking wrote that in the dialogue, shouldn't he have? Not that a 'riddle with no solution' is 'a riddle befitting a riddler.' But 'a riddle with a fucking super tough and challenging solution' is 'a riddle befitting a riddler.' Now go jerk off to your tepid Riddler sex role play Tumblr blog." Just an aside about my use of the word 'cuck': it's just fucking funny to use! The only good thing the terrible incel Internet community (unless I mean the MRA community (unless I mean the PUA community (it probably doesn't matter. They probably mostly share the middle area in a Venn diagram))) has done for this world is to bring back the insult "cuck." I don't even care about using it in the historically accurate way! I don't actually care if Riddler fans' spouses have a little extra side of ass on the down low. It's just fun to say! Plus, if you say it to the kind of person who actually thinks "cuck" is a scathing insult, they get super fucking angry when called one! It's Goddamned hilarious.

Complaint #3: Guillem March's depiction of The Riddler.

Yes, yes. March fixes my whole "The Riddler doesn't have a visible erection" problem from the first scan by implying one with his Riddle Wand here. But the main problem is why did March think The Riddler suddenly needed to look like Bernie Wrightson's Anton Arcane? The Riddler has always just been a skinny creep who was so into getting punched in the face by a muscular man in a bat costume that he planted clues that would ensure it happened. But I guess March has decided that his obsession needed to be mirrored in his physical appearance? Or is it a kind of pervasive attitude that Batman is such a scary and serious fucking cartoon hero that his villainous gallery of rogues has to be just as wickedly serious and horrific? Sometimes it feels like fans still feel as if the Batman television show was some kind of pernicious poison that, to this day, needs continual application of anti-toxin. "Batman isn't silly and his villains shouldn't be either," scream the rabid base of comic book fans that take this shit way too seriously. Hey! Fuck you! I'm angry for valid reasons and not stupid comic book fan reasons! Don't try to use my own words against me!

Complaint #3: Guillem March's depiction of The Penguin.

See my previous argument for Complaint #2. Although there's a history of making The Penguin as creepy and fucked up as possible because nobody needs the image of Burgess Meredith playing The Penguin to already come to the conclusion that a short dapper fat man with a bird obsession isn't the most intimidating villain, even with the mob attitude and homicidal tendencies.

Complaint #4: Batman and Catwoman's banter.

My main complaint with this conversation is that Batman and Catwoman never once argue about whether they met on a boat or on the street. I thought that was how they always began conversations! Also, they don't call each other "Bat" and "Cat." I'm sure a lot of people are thrilled about this change. But to me, it's a slow reset to getting them back to a relationship that denies the strength of their love and commitment to each other. They're slipping back into professional modes of communication! Next thing you know, we'll find out that Alfred didn't really die! It was Clayface the entire time and Alfred simply let people believe he was dead so he could have a peaceful vacation for once in his long life of servitude to an obsessed man-boy with too much money. Okay, that's enough poking fun at Tom King and the people who hated Tom King. I'm sure I'll get my fill of the Bat/Cat relationship whenever King's Bat Loves Cat comic book comes out. Let me be serious about my complaint in this paragraph (although not the kind of serious where I'm a comic book fan taking shit too seriously! The kind of "serious" where I pretend to be in an apoplectic rage which convinces a number of casual readers into thinking things like "This fucking Lobo fanboy wants to fuck Lobo in the face" and "Why is this nerd so obsessed with Supergirl's butthole? Can't he get a real woman down at the real club where he probably dances like a fucking dreamboat?"). Batman is supposed to be the World's Greatest Detective and yet he engages in stupid retorts like "What makes you think I don't have that device?" You fucking imbecile! What makes her think that was expressly stated by Catwoman when she said you wouldn't have needed to ask her if she was still with the body! Also, even Batman can't have that technology because it would take magic to use that technology and Batman is against magic which is why he keeps Kryptonite on hand to defeat Superman instead of the Ace of Winchesters. Side Complaint #4: Guillem March draws asses in the uncanny valley. He wants you to know they're sexy asses that do more than poop and fart. But he tries too hard to make them sexy and they fall into the uncanny valley of sexy asses. Those are asses where you go, "No, no. I can see that that ass is sexy but I am not in any way going to put my tongue into it." Complaint #5: The villains' plan is so complex that it relies on things that couldn't have been planned for happening. This is a standard complaint of mine and such a comic book trope that I probably should have gotten over being upset by it twenty years ago. I suppose it's why I stopped reading comic books for ten of those twenty years though. A bunch of assassins planned to get caught so that one of them could escape so that Batman would be distracted by that one while the others escaped. Batman falls for it although this time there's a twist to a plan so well planned that it works no matter what the hero does: this plan was stolen! This plan was originally the Penguin's plan and he recognized it when the first part fell into place: five assassins came to Gotham and were caught by Batman. Yeah, see? That was part of this stupid plan! So at least The Penguin is going to interfere with this awesome plan. Although, being that the plan was so well planned, the person who stole the plan probably planned for The Penguin to recognize the plan and to interfere. So The Penguin interfering is probably now part of the overall plan.

Complaint #6: Batman builds a prison that even he can't get out of which means Deathstork gets out of it immediately.

Every time, right? Every time a hero does something that is super duper foolproof to the nth degree of foolproofness, they get fooled! Fool the DC villains once, shame on the DC villains. Fool the DC Villains twice, and, well, you know what? That's never actually happened because they've never actually been fooled once. They only get fooled in the ultimate issue of a story arc when the hero decides maybe they should redouble their efforts and buck up their willpower and believe in themselves slightly more than they did in the previous five issues.

Complaint #7: A Cheshire-sized clay body double was captured by Batman, hauled into custody by police, and locked up without anybody noticing.

Batman uses the word "clay" so I'm assuming we're supposed to believe this is some kind of non-Clayface clayface body double? Some kind of mindless automaton that walks and moves and blinks and breathes and acts exactly like a living person? Sure, it's not presented in that way. But the audience has to assume some level of intelligent trickery went down here or else they're going to read this and think, "Batman was fooled by a squishy, drippy sex doll? This is worse for the Batman mythos than when Kevin Smith had Batman confess to peeing his pants!" Complaint #8: Both Deathstork and Cheshire tell Batman they're "playing a game." Why do they call their terrible and vicious crimes a game? It's bullshit to make everything the villains do some kind of contest pitted against Batman. It inherently makes super hero comics less about trying to make the world a better place and more about how heroes are the cause of all of the trouble because the villains' only ever expressed motive is to best the heroes. It's lazy and ultimately damaging to the entire medium. Yes, I said the entire medium! That's not hyperbole! But that was facetiousness!

Complaint #9: Cheshire wears see-through undies and we never get to see them from the front.

Okay fine. Not all of March's asses are in the uncanny valley. That one is staunchly in the valley of cans. Sweet, sweet cans.

Complaint #10: Batman kills Cheshire.

Sure, sure. Cheshire is still talking after getting creamed by a semi truck so Batman didn't really kill her. But he should have killed her doing this and the only way we accept that she isn't dead after smashing her face into an advancing semi is because we, the reader, know Batman doesn't kill. Maybe Batman lovers would defend this as an accident brought on by Cheshire herself. But then what is Batman's defense in letting her get smashed by a truck instead of saving her from being smashed by a truck in the amount of time it takes him to smugly say, "Brace yourself"? This fits into my belief that Batman has killed dozens of people but they die later at the hospital after which he can pin the deaths on the doctors who failed to save them from the mortal injuries Batman gave them. Side Complaint #10: Cheshire's last words are asking Batman how he survived her poison. I mean, she's obviously dying here and that's all she cares about? I would think she'd be all, "Tell my daughter I love her! ACK!" Batman #87 Rating: C. I think I made my points. My main problem now is that I've declared I'm going to stop buying Batman but I'm not the sort of person who avoids staring at train wrecks.

#Batman #James Tynion IV #Guillem March #DC Comics #DC

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