#and defeating the purpose of transitioning as well as disrespectful to the person in general so . i guess it just isn’t smth id wanna do lol

[myfirstandlast]

I saw your post about self ID and if someone you're with came out as trans. Tbh I think that if you still love & care for that person, it shouldn't really matter. You can still identify as lesbian and be with someone who is trans (in my opinion). I get that it may not be a popular opinion but as a queer person who could literally give a shit less about a "title" or "label" anymore, I just kind of see it as...who the heck cares as long as you're happy lol

hi yea i hear u, a part of me does feel like if we rlly had a previous deep connection and love for one another i may want to make an exception for that case and ik a good part of lgbt discussion can concern an excessive sometimes obsessive over-concern w labels and labelling but my identity in this case and in my personal life is extremely important to me, and i feel like i’d want to be respectful of aligning w the way the lesbian community desires to be seen and not start falling into what looks like bi lesbianism or smth, and also consider how the relationship & situation looks from my partner’s pov. i talked to oomfie last night abt it and sitting down to re-evaluate our roles concerns both of us, possibly especially ur partner bc they know that coming out to u and socially possibly medically means the relationship most likely can’t or won’t continue how it had previously. coming to terms w ur gender identity takes immense self-reflection and i think part of that would involve their consideration of if they’d want to continue their romantic life in a lesbian oriented way as a transman, i also realise transmasc probably wasn’t the wording i meant in my original post as much as a literal trans man, being n-b transmasc is much more flexible to work w as far as lesbianism imo. all that bc i literally am a lesbian w a trans n-b partner who also IDs as a lesbian, my fault for not specifying better

#no offence to u personally but i also think it’s much easier to hold this view if u identity as queer #like it’s just like throwing a blanket statement over the situation to indicate some sort of gayness going on in the partnership without too #much clarification. which imo still kinda falls into identity politics or however u could better describe it idk rn #i do hear u on the who cares how others perceive ur rship outwardly as far as identity but. lesbianism is rlly important to me lmao #and preserving the importance of attraction to non-men. i think ur partner would also definitely be aware of this and would have some sort #of idea at that point how they wanted to approach their sexuality in conjunction with their new identity and tbh if they’re a transman #it probably wouldn’t be lesbianism anymore #id be v sad to lose the relationship but i don’t think i’d be happier feeling like i was keeping them hostage or they felt hostage in a #partnership that no longer aligned w their self-perception. and knowing im still a lesbian they’d probably reversely respect my pov on that #too ! so anyways i think i kinda have a clearer vision on how this situation would hypothetically go even tho ofc it’ll still depend #i’ll review this once i post it i cant read my tags on mobile lmao but thank u for sharing ik it could turn into something v complicated #v quickly but if my partner were coming out to me w that information i’d trust them to navigate how we went forward w some sense #oh also additionally again no offence but i feel like if they genuinely transitioned socially to a transmanand u were still IDing as a #lesbian while dating them i feel like that starts walking into afab amab discourse and i don’t like those terms i think they’re reductive #and defeating the purpose of transitioning as well as disrespectful to the person in general so . i guess it just isn’t smth id wanna do lol #answered #anonymous #WOW MY TAGS ARE SO LONG SORRY