#and he'll fucken do it again

[probably-impossible]

Poorly edited Toranaga burning John's ship to look like that photo of the little girl arsonist because the mental image was very funny to me

#and he'll fucken do it again #his ass is NOT sorry! #john'll be building a fleet of fire ships lmao #fx shogun #yoshii toranaga

[briefalpacashark]

~Cowboys and Men = Part Two~

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“She's her own woman. Who knows not to mess with pretty little cowboys like you,” Jonny stated. He didn't like the cowboy from the moment they meet. Weather that be due to the insult or not was unimportant.

“We’ll see about that,” Arthur smiled, walking away.

“Can we kill him?” Ghost asked.

“Such a pity a civilian was caught in the crossfire,” Jonny shrugged, adding onto Ghost’s statement.

“I volunteer. I'll just say my aim was off,” Gaz offered.

“Easy boys,” Price shut down the idea. But he wasn't necessarily opposed to it.

Tommy was a good rider for his age. He stayed on the back of the beast of a bucker longer than anyone else. Then it was your turn. 

“Fucken hell,” you whispered as you climbed into the pen sitting atop the horse that moved around ready to send you straight to hell. 

“You look nervous,” your head snapped to the side to see Tommy smiling at you.

“He's wild,” you nodded down to the horse.

“You can still back out,” he suggested. That smile he wore, was he being suspicious or just a dick. “Ain't no shame in being a buckle bunny,” he stated. Your face settled into a frown at the insult.

“Lets go!” you announced. Man, that horse rocked you. You lasted an average amount of time. At one point, you lost your hat. You were thrown from the horse in a dramatic fashion tumbling across the ground. The people cheered as you got yourself to your feet. When you recovered from the fall, you looked around for your hat. It had fallen out of the arena. With your body still buzzing with adrenalin, you jogged over to it. As you were about to reach down Arthur had picked it up. 

“Than-” your words trailed off as he took off his own and placed yours upon his head. Your face flushed as you were reminded of the hat rule. He grinned, leaning down over the railing holding his own out to you.

“Ohhhhh looks like she's got an admirer. You two youngins be safe tonight,” the announcer called as wolf whistles sounded front the crowd. You brushed your nose, ducking your head in embarrassment.

“Will she take the hat?” the announcer asked. 

“Take the hat! Take the hat!” the crowd began to chant. God, how did it happen? Spotting Tommy watching from the side, you second guessed your actions. In one of the meeting Price had order you all to blend in. To play the part.

If he thinks you're a buckle bunny you'll play the part of a buckle bunny. You took Arthurs hat and placed it on your head, the crowd going wild. Arthur smiled, tipping the hat to you as you walked off. 

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It was game time. You all convened drawing your hidden guns as you headed for Tommy, only when you arrived at the garage he was gone.

“The fuck?” you questioned. When returning to Arthur he meet the team halfway with a sorry look.

“He left early, right after your run,” Arthur stated in an apologetic tone.

“Let's go. We should still be able to catch him on the road,” Price suggested.

“Hey, come on. He'll be here again tomorrow. You'll have a better chance then anyway,” Arthur held his hands up to slow you all.

“Why's that?” Jonny asked.

“Less people. He stays for drinks after,” he stated. 

“You better not be fucking us around,” Ghost warned, turning fully to tower over Arthur.

“Wouldn't dream of it,” he answered. You all turned to Price ready to act on his decision.

“Fine,” Price stated. The boys walked off, ready to head back to the ranch. You walked up to Arthur with a bashful smile.

“Here,” you said, handing his hat back to him.

“You know the rules, right?” he asked. Wear the hat, ride the cowboy. If you put on a cowboy's hat, it meant one of two things. He was coming home with you or you were going home with them.

“I do. But I was playing a role. To keep Tommy thinking I'm the buckle bunny he suspects,” you said beckoning for your hat. Arthur looked slightly disappointed at your words.

“I see. But I want you to know the offer still stands,” he said, taking your hat of and stepping closer to place it on your head.

“And while I'm flattered, I'm sorry but I have to refuse,” you stated with a small smile.

“It's the Ghost boy isn't it?” he asked. You sputtered a resonance as you chuckled, stepping back.

“Funny,” you said fixing your hat so its brim covered your eyes from his gaze.

“Well, if I was him I'd get a move on,” Arthur stated with a knowing smile before walking off. With a huff you shock your head searching for the boys, unknownst to you one particular one with a skull mask was situated in a shadow watching the whole situation with an uneasy feeling in his belly. 

“If I were you I'd get a move on,” Ghost knew Price had approached him. But his statement still made him jump.

“Don't know what you're talkin bout,” Ghost muttered.

“That cowboy’s working his magic. I’s get in before you regret it,” Price stated with a knowing look. Ghost stared at his Captain a man he trusted with is his life.

“Men like us don't deserve a woman like her Captain, we don't deserve happy endings,” Ghost muttered. Price nodded. A part of him wanted to agree.

“Well she deserves the world. And if she wants you in that world are you going to refuse?” Price asked.

“She deserves better than me John,” Ghost whispered. His hands were dipped in too much blood to ever hold her.

“I don't think so,” Price shrugged.

“Oh yeah, what do you think?” Ghost almost snapped at the man.

“I think you deserve each other,” he whispered, giving Ghost shoulder a firm pat before walking away. He didn't say it with malice. He said it with a kind smile. Trying to tell his solider that he did deserve happiness.

That night you were all sat round a fire with a few of the ranch hands. All drinking and simply enjoying the night. Some shared stories. Jonny made up a few of his own playing the part of the cowboy. One of the ranch hands were plucking a banjo admitting he had just started to learn. After a few seconds he was forced to put the instrument down by the many annoyed ranchers.

“Damn thing sounds like a cat dien,” A rancher called.

“Come on now, the banjos a beautiful instrument,” you called out in defense. You were sat in between Price and Ghost on a log.

“You did hear what we hear right?” Jonny asked, pointing to the embarrassed lad. 

“No offense, but you need to hear it played right. It can be beautiful,” you said.

“Oh yeah prove it,” Gaz dared. With the help of a little alcohol you shrugged, standing up. “Hold that for me, will ya sweetheart?” You asked passing your bottle to Ghost who automatically took it. 

“Not your sweetheart,” he grumbled. You chuckled with a wink before walking over to the lad.

“May I?” you asked. He handed over the instrument and the picks which you slipped onto your fingers. 

“Didn’t want to say anything before, but it probably would help if ya tuned it,” you said plucking a few stings to get the right tune. Arthur stood from his seat, which was semi center allocated and offered it to you. 

“Why thankyou sir,” you tipped your hat as you sat down.

“Now, no one make fun of me. I'm a little rusty,” you whispered.

“There is no way you know how to play that thing,” Jonny muttered. You smirked giving him a wink as you adjusted. 

“This one's called sugar hill,” you muttered before you began. To there surprise, a cohesive and beautifully uplifting melody echoed from your fingertips. Your audience was silent as smiles settled onto their faces. It was peaceful, beautiful. It was a moment you wished you could freeze. Yet when the song ended so did your little fantasy. Everyone cheered and clapped. 

“Oncour!” Arthur called.

“Alright, if the crowd wishes,” you grinned befor diving into another song.

After a while everyone was sort of talking to themselves. You sat by the lad form before giving him a few pointers.

“So Ghost was it. What do you do?” Your head snapped up at the question much like the other boys. Next to Ghost saw a woman, drop dead gorgeous and she knew it type of woman. She sat really close to him. A seductive smile on her lips. 

“I'm on Anna’s team,” he stated simply. “I know that. What's your speciality?” she asked. She was just making conversation. Only it wasn't just a conversation for Ghost. It was an interrogation. One he need to keep his cover though. His mind went blank. All he had to say was something to do with horses, or management. After all you didn't think the boys would be asked anything past that. Laswell certainly didn't so she didn't give the boys specialised jobs in your so called team. In all Ghost’s wisdom he turned to look for help. His eyes mistakenly rested on Jonny.

“He's uh. He's our musician,” You and Price almost smacked your foreheads at the words. Out of all the jobs Jonny could have chosen he chose musician. Ghost eyes narrowed into a glare for a split second before becoming blank.

“Oh my, that's amazing, what do you play?” she asked, moving closer. So close that her chest brushes by his arm. Your frowned at the gnawing feeling that settled in your stomach.

“Guitar,” Ghost answered.

“Oh you're in luck,” the woman dispersed to the back of truck before pulling a guitar out. Great, just great. She trusted the instrument into his hands with an excited smile.

“Will you play something for me? Please,” she flashed her pretty eyelashes. 

“I don't feel like it,” Ghost stated.

“Oh come on. What, you not a real musician then?” she pressed teasingly. Ghost was a good soldier, so he knew he had to do whatever he could to keep his cover. So to all your utter shock he slipped the guitar on. And started playing.

I can't help falling in love with you, by Elvis Presley. 

I can't help fucking falling in love with you by Elvis Fucking Presley. 

His voice was beautiful, deep and steady. Like the beat of an old tribal drum. His eyes focused solely on the guitar as he sang. The team was shocked into slack jawed silence. Simon Riley was singing and play the actual guitar. You never thought you would see the day.

And you found yourself wishing. Wishing that the person he was singing to was you. A stupid dream. You didn't see it, in fact you just missed it. Ghost had looked to you, a slight flicker of his eyes caught by very few. When you looked up at him, his eyes had returned to his guitar. Two gazes so soft, only for it to have been missed by the two they were intended for. It was painful for the boys to watch. When the song finished, everyone cheered yet again. The girl wasn't wearing a hat so when she reached over and took Ghost and placed it on her head with the bite of her lips, almost everyone cheered and whistled. The girl blushed and ducked her head. The hat rule. Wear the hat, ride the cowboy.

They look good together. You thought. His eyes were focused solely on hers as she spoke. 

A sad smile spread across your face as you acknowledged the painful truth. Simon would never be someone like that to you. Sure you were friends, well, you hoped you were friends. But he had never made any clear signs. Every time you would say something sweet he would shoot it down. Just remembering his pervious comment, your throat stung bitterly. You were good at hiding dejection, you could pretend like it didn't affect you at all. But it did. 

Love wasn't in the cards for  you. You supposed you had accepted that fate long ago. Still knowing the fact didn't make it hurt any less. You tried not to think about it as you continued to teach the guy. Still, the mind rarely listens to you. Moments of the past passed through your mind, all the times you had tried to flirt. Tried to lay down a hint. Tired to be sweet. Tried to show him that you liked him. All ended in either being shot down or ignored. It wasn't like he was rude about it. He just didn't leave any room for misinterpretation. Misinterpretation you constantly enacted when you failed to see the expressions his mask hid.

And it didn't help that the only time he was sweet to you, when he held your hand so tenderly in the hospital. When he pressed his lips to your palm and leaned into your touch. Due to the drugs you couldn't remember a single moment of it.

“So what do you think, we proper cowboys now or what?” Jonny asked Arthur.

“Well you ain't proper cowboys till you've played cowboy poker,” Arthur shrugged.

“The fuck is cowboy poker?” Jonny asked. 

“This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever done,” Jonny looked like he was about to shit himself. At the moment you all were sitting around a shitty plastic table on shitty plastic chairs. You Gaz, Jonny, Price, Ghost Arthur and another lad. In the middle of a coral.

“So we just sit here!?” Gaz asked as he breathed deeply and quickly on the point of hyperventilation. 

“Yes sir,” Arthur sung from beside you as he handed you a bottle of whiskey. You took it downing a good two gulps.

“This is stupid,” Price grumbled.

“And yet you're still sitting here,” you stated, handing the bottle to him.

“Not a word to Laswell. Understood?” he gave you all pointed looks.

“What scared you'll get in trouble from the missus?” you asked.

“The wife?” Arthur asked. You all chuckled as Price shook his head, handing it to Gaz.

“Are we really doing this?” Jonny asked. At first he thought it was just a joke, but as he saw the bull being rounded up he was staring to grasp the situation.

“Whatever you do Jonny, don't get off the seat,” you said.

“This is fucken mad,” he whispered shaking his head and snatching the bottle from Gaz.

“Forget your big boy pants back at the shop Jonny?” Ghost asked.

“Fuck you LT,” he snapped.

“SOMEONE WANNA EXPLAIN THE RULES?” Gaz asked.

“Last one at the table wins the pot,” you said watching as they slipped the bull int he chute that lead to the coral.

“Don't worry the bull always goes for the table first,” Arthur shrugged.

“THIS IS CRAZY!” Gaz screamed.

“Yeah not much smart thinking went into the creation of this. Pretty sure it was just booze and idiocy,” you stated.

“Set em free!” Arthur yelled. The sound of the gate crashing open sounded and the bull was let lose.

“Fuck this,” Gaz was the first to leave taking the bottle of whiskey with him. You all watched as the bull locked in on its target. It cleaved through the table Jonny and Price leaving before it hit. The table was destroyed and Arthur jumped out the way before the bull plowed straight through him. That just left you and Ghost. 

“Scared big guy?” You asked.

“Never,” he stated. Your eyes locked as the bull found the two of you. You were a little way aways from each other, You had sat on opposing seats so that meant the bull was going to choose one of you. It was a stare of between the two of you as you heard the bull fast approaching. 

Were you a little angry at Ghost? sure. You liked him and he didn't like you. A small flicker of childish rage bubbled within you. How dare he not like you? What was wrong with you? Why not you? It was a stupid little thought, but it was still there. So you kept his gaze, both of you refusing to look away. 

And one moment Ghost was there and the next he wasn't, broken plastic chair legs flipping through the air. The bull had slammed into him. 

“Oh shit,” a chuckle left your lips as the bull ran off. “You alive big guy?” you asked, rushing up to him in a bit of worry. Your eyes watching the bull that fought with the piece of chair stuck on his horn. You had to get out of the coral.

“No,” Ghost grunted painfully.

“Come on, don't wanna get hit again do ya?” You asked, pulling the man to his feet. The two of you rushed to the fence of the coral. Ghost found his thoughts not on the worry of the bull hitting him for a second time but focused on your hand. Which held his tightly as you pulled him away. Making it just in time, the bull pulled to a skidding stop as you both flung yourself over the top. You hit the ground beside Simon your hands still clung together. As you gazed up at the stars loud laughter erupted from your chest as you gave his hand a squeeze. Simons eye on the other hand was focused on you.

“That, my fiends is cowboy poker!” Arthur called, holding his hand out to you. You pulled your hand from Ghost’s grip and took the offered helping hand.

Later that night, when everyone was asleep, you snuck out to the field, taking the banjo in hand. You continued to drink as you rested upon a tree plucking the banjo as you tried to sort out your thoughts. Which unfortunately constantly pulled themselves back to a certain activity you though Ghost, and the girl were partaking in. Unbeknownst to you, Ghost had completely ghosted the girl, avoiding her at all costs.

 “The fuck you doing out here?” Ghost voice had you flinching, knocking the bottle of booze all over you.

“Shit,” you cursed.

“Drinking on the job?” he asked with a teasingly disapproving tone as he approached.

“Well, can't always be the model soldier now can I?” you asked, putting the bottle to the side whipping the alcohol the best you could. 

“The boys got worried when they woke up and you weren't there,” Ghost explained. You checked your watch. It was 5 am around the time you all would usually get up. You had not realized that you had sat out there for so long.

“I'm a big girl,” you shrugged.

“True,” he nodded, sitting down on the log closest to you. 

“Didn’t know you could play the guitar. Much less sing like an angle,” you muttered.

“Think I sing pretty?” he asked. You smiled.

“Like a siren Simon,” you said flashing him that smile he loved so much. 

“Didn't picture you as a Elvis fan,” you said.

“Oh, yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah, picture you more as a heavy punk. Maybe a little rock,” you shrugged with a teasing smile.

“Well for your information I partake in the enjoyment of the country quite often,” he said.

“Oh, really?’ you asked, a small chuckle leaving your lips involuntarily. A contagious one seeing as Simon's shoulder shook slightly with a chuckle of their own. 

“I wanted to be a cowboy when I was a kid. Dreamt of owning a farm of my own,” he admitted. You paused your plucking. Simon had never talked about his past before. It seemed to serious for him as he quickly changed to a joking tone.

“The guitar original started as a way to impress the ladies,” he stated.

“Well you don't need any help there. That chick seemed smitten with you,” Simon briefly caught onto the slightly bitter bite that came at the end of your sentence. He wanted to believe it, but he also believed it could be his mind playing tricks.

“Just like you are with the cowboy?” Simon didn't know why he said it. Perhaps he wanted you to repute it.

“Who? Arthur?” you asked with a snort.

“What? He's got the horses, money, he's alright looking,” Simon shrugged. You shook your head the whiskey bring out your honesty like it always did.

“Nah. He's uh, he's not the one for me,” you stated simply.

“Who is?” The blatant question caught you off guard. You chuckled nervously, casting your eyes down to the banjo as you plucked it.

“I uh, I don't know,” you muttered. Simon tried not to be dejected at it. “The fucker better hurry up though. I'm getting impatient,” you joked, your eyes flicking up to Simon”s for only a second. It was only a second they needed to be caught in the pools of brown. Simon was studying you, like he did to everyone. Taking in everything about you. But there was something else in his eyes. He seemed like he wanted to say something. Price's words burned in his mind. He wanted to offer himself up as a potential candidate. But as hard as he tried, his tongue simply wouldn't move. You waited a few moments for him to say anything. Then you waited a few more. A sad smile spread across your face. It wasn't possible.

“The girl you end up with is gonna be one lucky bitch Simon,” you whispered turning away from his gaze as you stood. You put the banjo down as you watched the sun rise.

“You think?” finally his mouth wanted to speak. It just didn't say the right thing.

“I know it,” you whispered, patting his shoulder as you walked past him, back to the house. Your hand squeezed his shoulder before slipping off. Simon’s hand reached up, his fingers missing your’s by mere millimeters. 

In a bush nearby, Soap slammed his palm over his eyes, cursing his two teammates under his breath.

Everything was going great. You and the team had a plan. You were seated at a bar area with Tommy not too far away. The second day's events came and went. And now you were just waiting. Waiting for Tommy to peel away from the group so you could nab him. 

A beer was placed down in front of you.

“Sorry I didn't order this,” you spoke up to the bartender.

“He sent it for you sweetheart,” she said, pointing to Tommy. You forced a smile, giving him a cheers motion. He politely dismissed himself from the people he was talking to and made his way over to you.

“Hell of a ride yesterday,” he said.

“It was average,” you shrugged. He smiled as he sat down beside you fairly close. So close in fact that your shoulders were pressed together. 

“Yeah, it sure was,” he stated. Your heart stopped as you heard the click of a safety. A moment later you felt a cool metal pressed through your shit into your side. 

“Well shit,” you muttered, deciding to take a large sip of the beer.

“Shit is right, sweetheart. Now listen close or i'll blow your guts over that lovely girl next to you,” he threatened nodding to the woman who sat beside you. He had a gun pressed against you.

“There's an awful lot of people here,” you stated.

“Good thing my gun has a silencer on it. And if I'm not mistaken, you look a little drunk,” he said his lips twisting into a cocky smirk. 

“Wouldn't be surprised if you passed out, you know. But being the general man I am I’d be sure to take you to a quiet spot,” he suggested. He was right. The music was blaring. Nobody was paying attention to you. And you were alone. You were the lookout. The boys were stationed elsewhere in wait for him. But he didn't know that.

“My boys are watching mate, I wouldn't,” your words got cut off by his boisterous laugh.

“No sweetheart. You see, I know they're waiting for me tucked in little hide holes around the exit. I know you're all alone. Now what you're going to do is tell your little friends that I'm on the move. Heading in a completely different direction than they think I am. Then you and I are gonna slip out the back where I have a car waiting,” he explained it all. 

“And if I don't comply?” your question was answered by the gun being pressed further into your side. Yet your gaze remained unfazed. Unshaken. There was no fear in your eyes. 

“Then I kill him,” he stated, nodding to the bartender. “And her,” he said, nodding to another random person. “And her,” he added, nodding to a little girl who walked by. You stared at Tommy trying to see if he was speaking the truth. To find any lies in his eyes. You couldn't see anything, he was good at hiding his thoughts. And you couldn't risk it.

“How did you know?” you asked. 

“I got a little tip off,” he shrugged.

“From who?” you asked.

“And why would I tell you?” he asked.

“I don't know, cowboy to cowboy?” you suggested. He chuckled again.

“You may be a cowboy kid. But there's things that are a little bit more important than that. Now on with it,” he stated. Rolling your tongue along your inner teeth, you pressed you finger to your ear.

“This is Bingo, Bushy, you there?” you asked. At the other end of the coms, the boys all frowned in utter confusion. 

“What is she on about?” Jonny asked.

“Doc? This is Bravo 6. Repeat your last?” Price asked.

“Bingo has visuals. Target on the move. Casper and Dirt are clear to engage. He's headed for the west car park,” You hoped and prayed that the boys would understand.

“Good girl,” Tommy said, reaching up to rip the earpiece off before you could get a response from them.

“Capser and dirt? What's that supposed to be? Me and Ghost?” Jonny asked. 

“She's not using out code names,” Ghost stated into his comms the realization washing over them like a wave.

“Somethin’s not right,” Price grumbled gruffly.

Tommy had quickly taken you out of the bar area to the secluded back. You were walking to the car, the gun now pressed against your back. Your hands were clasped behind your head per his orders as he had taken your concealed weapons, but he still didn't trust you.

“Isn't this the part where you say I'm not going to get away with this?” he asked.

“Don't need to say something I know is gonna happen,” you shrugged.

“What?” his question was answered by a gun shot. You moved to the side and back, slamming your body against Tommy pinching the arm that held the gun between your arm and side. His pain scream ripped through your ears, a shot having cleaved through his leg. Your hit sent him flying to the ground as you ripped the gun from his grasp falling with him. Pulling your elbow back you stuck him in the face. 

Bullets ripped above you as the boys took out the few enemies that emerged from the car. Flipping Tommy who was wallowing loudly in pain over you slipped some zip ties around his hands. Pulling them taunt you glanced back at the car gun at the ready. Finding all enemies neutralized you stood.

“Doc you alright!?” Price was the first to make it to you.

“Course. Took your time,” you muttered.

“Ghost had to get into position,” he nodded to the shadow that stood on a nearby building sniper on his shoulder. Holding your hand up in thanks, he simply nodded.

“We look like a bunch of rag tag outlaws in these getups,” you stated as you heaved Tommy up along with Price. 

“Price she alright?” Ghost voice pressed into Price comm.

“She's all good,” Price said back.

“Tell em to stop worrying. And remind Jonny he still owes me a photo,” you told Price. When Ghost joined back up with you, you flashed him your usual smile.

“Thanks for having my back Big guy,” you held you hand out for a fist bump. 

“That not your blood is it?” he asked nodding to your pants. You looked down.

“Of course it's not mine. What feel your shootings getting a bit skew?” you asked. As you went to look up your vision was blacked by the brim of a hat. A hand placing it on your head and ruffling your hair with it.

“Quick thinking Doc. Good job,” Ghost hand left your head where he had placed his hat. You tilted it back watching as Ghost loaded Tommy into the back of the truck.

He had put his hat on your head. Through your faint blush, you shock your head. He didn't know about the rule. You told yourself to stop being delusional as you got back to work.

Little did you know Ghost knew all about the rule. Thats why his heart hurt so much to see you willingly taking another man's hat. As you left Price was talking to Arthur. Arthur's eyes scanned over you all as he waved a small goodby. You waved back falling to notice Ghost standing behind you with the smuggest look of victory on his face. After all you were still wearing his hat.

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=Cowboys and Men Part 1 Here=

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=COD Master List here=

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#141 x reader #141 x you #cod 141 #cod ghost #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #task force 141 #tf 141 #simon riley x reader #cod #cod mw2 #ghost cod #call of duty

[slashingdisneypasta]

Older!Horror Villains x Younger!Reader || Reactions

Reacting to: Someone at the store thinking that they're your grandparent- rather then your S/O. (Just something funny I was considering for Inkubus but decided to just do for all of them ^^ XD 😅)

Characters Included: The gilfs of the fandom 😅 ? I'm thinking 50 years and above. Captain Spaulding, Drayton Sawyer, Granny Boone, Inkubus, Jedidiah Sawyer, Luda Mae Hewitt, Mayor Buckman, Mental Manny / Manual Dyer, Peepaw Michael Myers, Norman Nordstrom, Otis B. Driftwood, Pamela Voorhees, Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr, Stuart Lloyd, the Taxidermist / Walter Harris and Winslow Foxworth Coltrane.

Warnings: Major age difference, bad language, sexual references, a really awkward misunderstanding...

Captain Spaulding: Spaulding's a pretty good sport about it XD In fact, he kinda enjoys it. Cuz then he gets to rub it in the persons face what a young, hot thing he's got going here with you and what- what did you say you had again?? Nothin'?? Yeahh, that's what I thought. Fuck right off, why dontcha?

Drayton Sawyer: Drayton goes so red and is about to blow his top. He gets enough shit from his brothers over this! He does not need one more moron bothering him about it! Fuck off! *Grabs you by the arm and storms off*

Granny Boone: "... Grandma, huh? Alright then!~ " *Turns to you* "Come here, sweetie, give grandmother a kiss~ " She's about to ruin that guys whole career 😅😅😅

Inkubus: Inkubus is not amused. Grandpa?? Absolutely not, no. He'll correct the person in the most embarrassing way possible.

Jedidiah Sawyer: Jed does not care at all 😅😅 The only person who's opinion matters to him is yours, so who cares if this guy thinks he's your grandpa? Fine then, he's your grandpa. So go and mow the lawn for him while he sits on the porch and has a sweet tea.

Luda Mae Hewitt: She's is gonna tear that guy a new one. Calling her old?? Son of a bitch, where is that persons manners?? She should set her damn sons on him.

Mayor Buckman: Sorry, Buckman cannot answer this question. He's too busy choking.

Mental Manny / Manual Dyer: Manny loves to correct people. He's got the biggest smile on his face as he goes oh you're mistaken- this is my beautiful partner. A little young, sure, but we sure don't mind~ Oh sweetheart, I think we're going be late for our dinner reservations. Shall we?

Peepaw Michael Myers: Like Jed he struggles to give a shit. Who cares??? He knows that he's not your grandfather and you know he's not your grandfather- that's all that matters. He doesn't care... but he does enjoy giving you a big kiss, with tongue, later when the guy sees you both again. He's a gremlin.

Norman Nordstrom: ... what? Norman is pissed at this idea, he hates it. He feels like a digusting predator (*cough* which he is, though not because you like him ^^) and it hits close to home. He's going to need you to set it straight.

Otis B. Driftwood: "... Ha! Okay, pal, check this out." He'll say, then turn around and basically make out with you right there in front of the guy. Otis is not amused at the poor insinuation and takes it out with lewd efficiency.

Pamela Voorhees: Again- not amused. As far as she's concerned, this total stranger has no business making disgusting insinuations about the two of you, anyway. So she'll ruthlessly take them down a notch with her words- and sweet smile.

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr: "... you think you're funny? No I ain't their fucken grandpa. Didn't your bitch momma ever teach you to mind your business? Oh don't you worry, I can do it for her." Just- my friend- just keep him from taking out the damn shot gun.

Stuart Lloyd: "... oh... uh... n-no, actually- " Stuart forces himself to stutter through a quick explanation- but he wants to crawl into a whole and die (:

Taxidermist / Walter Harris: Gets the nervous giggles 😅😅😅 Doesn't correct them.

Winslow Foxworth Coltrane: Annnnd Foxy loves it XD He was already one kinky mother fucker- you can use this as foreplay. Let him smack your ass while they're still looking but call you 'Hon' or 'Sweetie'- he finds it funny and hot in equal measures.

#Older!Horror Villains x Younger!Reader Reactions #Older!Horror Villains x Younger!Reader #Horror Villains x Reader Reactions #Horror Villains x Reader #Winslow Foxworth Coltrane #Foxy Coltrane #Walter Harris #Stuart Lloyd #Sheriff Hoyt #Charlie Hewitt #Charlie Hewitt Jr #Pamela Voorhees #Otis B Driftwood #Norman Nordstrom #Michael Myers #Peepaw Michael Myers #Mental Manny #Manual Dyer #Mayor Buckman #Luda Mae Hewitt #Jedidiah Sawyer #Granny Boone #Inkubus #Drayton Sawyer #Captain Spaulding #x Reader #Reactions #Horror Villains #Slashers

[holliday-is-holligay]

OKAY LORD OF THE RINGS HOT TAKE - I WISH THE MOVIES KEPT THE BARROW DOWNS

Art by: QuintusCassius

You don't have to keep Bombadil, they can find their own way out for the sake of pacing, but when I think about just how much this scene actually ties into the rest of the story's themes it becomes more and more of a shame it didn't make it in.

It introduces the idea of a land falling to shadow and establishes, in the most show-don't-tell way so far how intense the threat to the landscape itself the evil they're facing could be. This is a story about a war on the land as well, after all, and this land LOST. And it's NOT a far off land from their own home. Such shadowy devastation and evil and rot and despair is so close to their own home.

We learn these ruins belong to Arnor, an even greater kingdom of men than Gondor. Which, hey, is gonna become super relevant multiple times across the story - like when Boromir is pleading for help with Gondor's plight or talking about its strength, or when we see Minas Tirith under siege. And we KNOW that kingdoms of Men greater than it have fallen.

It establishes The Witch King really early and subtly. This doesn't even need to be mentioned at this point. It can be done the same way it's done in the movies RE Weathertop when Gandalf is explaining who The Witch King is. He can just explain it further. "He stabbed Frodo on Weathertop, and he laid low the Kingdom of Arnor." Flashback to Weathertop and the Barrowdowns.

This also makes it more significant, like it was in the books, that The Witch King is the one leading this army. He's destroyed a kingdom of men once before, he'll fucken do it again.

It makes Aragorn's defeat of him on Weathertop WAY more impactful! One of the Dunedain driving off The Witch King at the site of one of Arnor's greatest losses to The Witch King is a symbolic cue that though these are dark times, these are changing times.

And, of course, it sets up Merry's sword. Merry doesn't just have some random sword in the books. He takes a sword from the Barrow Downs, a sword of the Dunedain, and carries it through the ENTIRE STORY and that's what he stabs The Witch King with on Pelenor Fields. The books even have a paragraph briefly eulogising the sword and talking about the pride of the swordsmith who would never know that they made the weapon who undid their greatest enemy, wielded by a hobbit.

Like... Yeah, as a filmmaker and writer myself I FULLY understand that pacing is a vital thing to keep hold of. And The Fellowship of The Ring is perfectly paced. And deciding what to keep and what to cut is just... a nightmare that Peter Jackson and his team did better than anyone had any right to do.

But I think The Barrow Downs should honestly be talked about similarly to how we talk about The Scouring of The Shire. Its effects and thematic overtones are incredibly far reaching and important to the story and it's definitely one of those "it's a real shame it got cut" moments but I DO understand why they cut it.

#196 #lord of the rings #lotr #tolkien #books

[werecreature-addicted]

What would Ceaser's response be to a butch trans fem alpha seducing [reader]

It depends if it's early on in the relationship he doesn't really care if you fuck other people as long as you keep seeing him. He'll use the fact that the reader is a masochist against them if it feels like you're getting distant.

"oh, she treats you better than I do? I bet you fucken hate that come here let me beat your ass the way you like,"

if she's mean to you too well- I mean he's no stranger to a threesome.

if we're talking about older Ceaser when he's in a more serious relationship he'll see her flirting with you and walk up and bite the shit out of your neck to claim you. if all she wants is sex and not to steal you away from him. well I mean again he's never turned down a threesome before, why start now?

#asks

[historia-vitae-magistras]

If I remember correctly you said that baby Jack had to be held a lot because he was so clumsy. Would Matt have been big enough to do the same when he first meets him. You could get the family tradition of older siblings carrying their younger ones around everywhere. Let Matt get adorable little germlins to carry.

I did! And I've actually thought about this. The little things that carry from person to person. If Australia is a consequence of the American revolution, he also saw the turn of Matt from younger brother to older brother. What Matt knows about any concept of family, he learned at Alfred's elbow. Peak indulgence for Matt is when it was cold and Matt was small, Alfred would heft him up and carry him places. So picking up Jack? Hell yeah. Jack was very sturdy even for a young child but Matt was in his early teens in the regency era. Wee Jack gave him anxiety. All children are little shits, bouncing off and into mischief and being clumsy but even by that standard Jack is chaotic. Where Matt was a very self contained child who could be put into the corner and given books or blocks or even nothing and he'd occupy himself, Jack is a curious wee thing. He always has questions, he always wants to hear music, he always wants to chat, and play and move. Baby's first labour strike was protesting until the turnspit dog gets friends. He liberated the chicken's Matt's in charge of, let the goats loose and set the parlour on fire because he got bored and tried to figure out how the oil lamps worked. He broke so many priceless antiques that Arthur may or may not have stolen.

In early 19th century Georgian society where childhood is newly important but Jack's still a third rate penal colony at the end of the world, he's kind of miserable and everyone would want to indulge him, stuck half the world away from everything and everyone he's ever known in the miserable libertine environment that is regency England, It's a strange thing, for Matt to be a brother again, much less with one that will be so briefly this wriggly and adorable before shooting up within a century to end up about 20 kilos bulkier than him.

The image of Matt as his anxious but fairly normal 1805 self popping Jack up onto a hip he doesn't have enough of to keep him there and then doing the same thing in 10 years when he's gone back to setting fire and committing war crimes against Americans is so fitting. Like it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, they're stuck together. Also its so goddamn funny to think of Matt like "I just set the White House on fire, I am not in the mood for children." And Jack and Zee don't give a flying fuck, they have a book for him to read and the aren't leaving him be until he fucken reads it. He's grumpy about it, even though he knows he'll prize those memories long after the relationships themselves have been resigned too history.

#the ask box || probis pateo #jack || a land of summer skies #matthew || my country is winter #zee || ahakoa he iti he pounamu #jack zee and matt || battered bonds once so strong #Jack Zee and Matt || battered bonds once so strong

[bitwynn]

Not a fan

A SAGAU Impostor AU Songfic

Song used: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

...so I caved. Yep. Starting a new series even though i already have one. To be fair, i felt like i needed a break from that series since that beast needs a whole lotta world building and im planning for it to get into some heavy fucken subjects. This one tho is more chill and light-hearted, since theyre all just a bunch of kind of disconnected one shots that are all kind of connected. So like-- when this series gets a lil longer, you can literally start from any fic since its all connectedly disconnected. A better example was my original idea of me just writing the end goal where they finally defeat the impostor like-- directly after the Castaway fic to rlly show how connectedly disconnected it is but i refrained myself since i wanted to write more wanderer. Been playing as him a lot but i havent rlly done the archon quest yet lol but hes just a blast. Hes an annoying lil shit (affectionate)

Blue for Barbara, Yellow/Gold for Zhongli, Green for Wanderer, red for Diluc, Italics is Reader/General, Combined is Everyone. Colors only used for singing parts.

---

Is this the real life?

You were running again, the spears and arrows of the Millelith chasing you all across Liyue.

Is this just fantasy?

Zhongli was by your side, steadfast as a rock as he shielded you from their weapons-- both with his Jade Shields and his body.

Caught in a landslide,

A loose rock almost sent you tumbling down into the depths of the Chasm, Barbara grabbing you just in time.

No escape from reality.

Diluc recognizes the path you were taking towards Tiangong Gorge, immediately rushing off to the Chasm's Maw and letting loose Dawn-- his phoenix rising up into the sky like a blazing beacon, just buy the rest of you more time. He'll rejoin you once again, he knows the path you'd take. He's your main afterall.

Open your eyes,

The three of you make it, the relief from seeing the glow of the blue Waypoint almost bringing you to your knees.

Look up to the skies and see,

You stumble in, Barbara hauling your arm over her shoulder as Zhongli collapses the tunnel behind you. You may be Overseer of Teyvat but he is the Overseer of Liyue, and its stones still answers to his call. There is nothing left but the browns and greens that creep towards the borders of Liyue.

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,

Your little group exit the cavern, the fresh air of the rainforest cooling the sweat on your backs and you see Haypasia's "little neighbor" peeking up from behind a leaf.

Because I'm easy come, easy go,

The tiny Aranara, though a little hesitant that more people could see him now, takes your hand and guides you through Avidya Forest. Thank goodness you had caved from your siblings nagging and finally done at least a part of the Sumeru quest.

Little high, little low,

You were still unfamiliar with the lands of Sumeru, trusting your little lettuce friend to lead you to a place of safety, of rest.

Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me,

Lettuce, as you had affectionately named him, lead you all deep into the rainforests of Sumeru all while deftly avoiding the little village of forest rangers and the rangers themselves. You hadn't said a word to him but you knew, deep in somewhere, that he would be leading you somewhere safe. Somewhere protected.

Though this... wasn't what you expected.

To me.

He turns to your group, the smell of tea faintly wafting from the pot he was tending. "I don't think I need to introduce myself, do I?"

-

After the short but silent panic that washed over the three of you (it took the you and Barbara 5 minutes to even get a centimeter pulling Vortex Vanquisher out the cave wall while Zhongli aggressively apologized to him), the four of you were sat on the floor watching the Wanderer tend to the bubbling pots of food he was making.

There was a strange... very not tense(?), and very awkward energy in the air as he set aside cups and bowls for all of you, his own cup still full with steaming almost black water. Zhongli was very noticeably trying not to stare at his oversteeped tea.

Little Lettuce had already left, presumably to keep an eye on the area or watch out for Diluc. You didn't want to use him as a shield or a way to break the ice or something but god-- the energy in the air was just so uncomfortable.

You all watched Wanderer in this terse silence prepare your food, his soft chopping of the grilled unagi sounding like death knells in your cave. He took each of the bowls he set out, placing a considerable amount of rice in each and a small handful of dried seaweed and sesame seeds. Bringing out a jar of umeboshi from his inventory, he placed each slab of unagi with a single umeboshi atop the bed of rice and seaweed.

He pours out the tea onto the rice, 1, 2, 3... and stops. He cocks his head. Frowns.

"Wasn't there supposed to be four of you?"

And the silence was broken.

"W-well, little lettuce already left--"

"Not the aranara-- wait, you named him lettuce? Tsk, whatever. Where's the other one? The red one?"

"Oh, uhm, Diluc?"

He nods, the small scowl on his face almost carved into him. You feel your face heat as you turn your face away from him.

"He ran off. To the Maw. Let out his burst as a diversion to buy us time --but he'll find us. He'll come back. He knows the way, he knows how I think, he knows what I'll do. He'll come back."

Wanderer sighs, disappearing the extra bowl. You're not sure whether you said all that to stop his retort or to diminish your own worry.

You're shaken from your thoughts by Barbara holding your hand. She gives it a squeeze, and you squeeze back, thankful for the comfort.

"Are you just gonna keep staring at your food or do you want to die of both exhaustion and starvation?"

"Okay, eating now!"

You're handed a warm bowl of Shimi Chazuke, Wanderer's specialty. It didn't look like its in game icon, only having the plump umeboshi on top of a bed of rice and seaweed with the pale tea glistening in the light. But you had come to learn that many things in game didn't translate directly, there sure as hell no quest or mention of a "Divine Overseer, and yet-- and yet.

You bring the bowl up to your face, the warmth soaking into your aching, tired hands and its steam gently caressing your face. You mix a portion of the rice together with the tea, scoop it up, and put it into your mouth.

And practically turn into jelly at the taste.

"Umai...!" you moan, savoring the taste of it all.

The fresh rice soaked in the bitter tea tasted amazing, each bite slowly turning into a different flavor as the oils and sauce from the grilled unagi gradually mixed in with the rice. Cutting up a bit of the eel with your spoon, you mix it with the rice and your mouth burst with deliciousness.

The eel was grilled to perfection, plump and juicy and flaky. And with the addition of the tea, it introduced flavors you hadn't even imagined from a simple grilled fish.

As you were about to burst that plump little plum, the Wanderer stopped you, a strange look on his face. He handed you a handkerchief.

"Wipe your face, the flavor's gonna be off if you mix it with your tears."

Stunned, you took the handkerchief. "Oh."

It... had been a long time since you've eaten good food and found a place to rest. Too long.

You hold it close to your chest, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to calm down. After a moment, you wipe away the sweat, and tears, and snot, and grime that had accumulated on your journey. It had been such a long time since you first found kindness in this world, even if that kindness came from an emotionally stunned automaton designed to be a god.

You chuckled to yourself, a wet little thing, as you realize that you kept weeping harder and harder with each swipe of the cloth. You bury your face in it, the handkerchief practically soaked with your tears as you take a few calming breaths to finally stop your tears.

"I'm... I'm sorry, I-- its been a while since I've... yeah. Uhm..."

You take a breath, still wet with your snot. "I, uh... I'm gonna keep this, I uh-- ruined it. I'll, I'll clean it though! If you want it back."

Wanderer, handily ignoring your breakdown just earlier, cringes in disgust. "No thanks. Keep it, you need it more than me if you decide to bawl your eyes out again."

Despite the harshness of it, you soften, tucking the offending handkerchief away. "Thanks." "Don't ever mention it."

He reclines back into his little designated space in your cave, and hesitantly stokes the fire with his anemo vision. You pick your unfinished bowl of chazuke, umeboshi still waiting to be eaten. It was good to know that at least there was a few things that didn't change now that you're here.

"Are you finished yet? Stop gawking at your food and finish it so I can do the dishes."

Yep, some things just never change.

You finally finish your meal with the silence in the cave now something much more comfortable, the crackling of the fire and the quiet rushing and clanking of dishes almost lulling you into a sense of "you don't have a bounty placed on your head and are definitely not running from anyone and everyone for fear of them betraying you and handing you over to your megalomaniacal doppelganger".

Wanderer, having lost the argument of who does the dishes against Barbara, was definitely not sulking in his little corner and absolutely not fiddling with his new(?) anemo vision. "So, why'd you come here to Sumeru anyways? I know you definitely were not looking for me, considering the fact you tried to impale my head on sight. Which to be fair," he chuckles at Zhongli's sheepish face, stood near the cavern entrance. "I would do the same."

You absentmindedly plucked the strings of your Windblume Lyre, the instrument becoming a sort of stimming/coping device, helping you deal with everything that had happened to you. He hummed to himself, the cogs turning in his head. "I can't think of any other reason why you'd come here-- finding and trusting in me is a huge gamble that you won," he clarified, turning away from Barbara's blank stare. "the ancient Khaenri'ahn technology scattered around Sumeru won't be of any use if you were considering taking the fight to your impostor, the Irminsul Tree could be a good reason but I can't see any way you'd use it to help you, though knowledge is always good to have anyways."

He scoffed, reclining into the dirt of your cave. "Archons, imagine how ridiculous it would be if you just ran here because you had no choice but to! Like a bunch of scared animals, ahaha!"

You slowly sink behind your lyre as he continues.

"In my time here, you're infamous for always evading their grasp-- heck, there's even an entire division of scholars here dedicated to just trying to figure out how in the world you do it. Some say you're a master at faking trails, some say you have some sort of... psychic power that lets you read the mind of your enemies so you can anticipate their moves."

He shrugs.

"Honestly, I'm more inclined to believe that last one-- in my brief time as your Vessel before your descent, you somehow managed to find information about me, despite my entire existence being wiped from the Irminsul Tree. Add to that the experiences that your other Vessels had, and it's a pretty compelling case." A sigh. "Shame that probing is one-sided though, a peek into the mind of the 'Divine Deceiver' or 'Overseer' or whatever fancy title you call yourself would be quite intriguing. Who knows what schemes are you cooking up in there. Now tell me,"

He straightens, eyes boring into yours from where you were, at this point, hiding in shame behind your lyre. "why are you here in Sumeru?"

"Aha... ha... haaa..." If you had a pyro vision, your face would be on fire by now. You had to turn away, the warmth of embarrassment creeping down your neck. "Well, uhm..." You clear your throat, gulping as you try to even find the words to explain how much of a legitimately normal person you are, who was practically forced to grow brain cells specifically for scheming because if you didn't you would die.

"So, uh...ah he he he... heh..." you take a breath, a shaky grin on your lips. "So, you know how reality is sometimes stranger than fiction?"

He raises an eyebrow.

"Well..."

You vaguely gesture, hoping that your flailing would get your message across.

He stares at you. He stares some more. He blinks.

"No."

"Yeah."

"No..."

"Yeah...

"NO."

"YEAH--"

His mouth drops in shock as he tries to process what you're implying. The rumors painted a... much prettier and mightier picture of you than the both of you thought.

"I-- you-- wha-- how-- what?!"

He takes a breath, chest rising despite his lack of a need for air. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and you get the feeling that he's restraining himself from grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you stupid.

"So, you're telling me. That the 'Divine Deceiver' and their little posse made of a literal god, the once-captain of Mondstat's Knights of Favonius, and Mondstat's most renowned healer idol, have, quite literally, been running around like rats all over Teyvat and somehow, somehow staying alive by a thread?!"

"I KNOW MAN, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW WE'RE STILL ALIVE--"

"Oh my--"

He begins to growl, a black orb of anemo energy collecting in his palm. You squeak as you try to scramble to your feet, his face full of rage.

And the whirling winds in your cavern suddenly stops, Wanderer dismissing the dark energy in his hand. "Oh, relax."

He blows a raspberry at you, as you groan and sit back down. You bring your lyre back out from where you unconsciously disappeared it and clutch it like a lifeline.

"God, I never knew your idle could be that scary."

"...Idle?"

Barbara waves off his question, a sheepish expression on her face as she fixes her curls back into place. "Its... complicated. You'll learn more about it as you travel with us." She hands him the used and cleaned bowls and utensils. "You... will travel with us, right?"

He scoffs, taking the bowls and disappearing them with a flash of light. "Of course I will. Its literally in my name. Besides, I have nothing that ties me down anymore so I might as well wander with you guys."

She smiles at him, ever sweet and ever kind. She settles back down near the fire, drying her soaking hands. Though Zhongli is still taking watch by the cavern entrance, you could see the slightest look of pleased approval in his face. "Though if you are going to be travelling and running from the law with me, we need to make a plan instead of scurrying around like rats."

And at that, the entire cavern groans in exhaustion. "Not now, please." "We'd like to have some rest first, Wanderer!" "Please, fuck, no-- I've had enough scheming for 3 thousand years--"

"Wait, so you did have a plan going into Sumeru?!"

You wave him off, hands going to rest back upon the strings of your trusty lyre. "Well, it was more of like... a guideline? A safety net? We had a couple ideas on what to do if we ever ended up in Sumeru and we, yknow, ended up in Sumeru so we'll probably do that."

You pluck a couple strings as you remember what you "planned". "I hadn't finished the Sumeru main quest yet and I hadn't unlocked all of the Statues of the Seven yet either. We were thinking of unlocking all the Statues first since, without them, my 'all-encompassing' game map is jack shit here in Sumeru, and then we were thinking of finishing the main quest to both progress the story and better the... political? climate here along with a few other benefits. After that..."

You make a face, much more aggressively playing at your lyre. "We really didn't want to split up the party but, I kinda wanna finish the main story quest in the Chasm but also we need to collect all the Dendroculous and Electroculous for more stamina and stuff. But also, I kinda wanna visit Dragonspine since..." You let yourself trail off, the makings and ideas of plans evident in your voice.

Wanderer merely stares at you for a moment, the game terms flying over his head as Barbara mouths at him, "I'll tell you about it later". You sigh, dreading the planning of tomorrow as your fingers calm on the strings. "But, we can plan tomorrow. Please. We almost died multiple times again." He sighs, relenting. "At least you have the skeleton of a plan."

"Yes!"

Humming, you sink into the soft ground, thanking the soils of Teyvat for giving you some comforts in this trying time. What little grass in the cave caresses you in gratitude, as you pluck at your instrument.

The Wanderer sighs, as he prepares a small pot of tea. "You've been messing with that thing all night and its about to grate at my ears. Do you even know how to play?"

You chuckle a bit, sheepish as you hand the lyre over to Barbara who plays a quick, jaunty tune with a flourish. "Well, I can sing...?"

He sighs again, bowing his head and resigned to the confirmation that you were much more... ridiculous than the gossip and rumors painted you as. "Then why are you the one with the lyre?"

You shrug as Barbara starts up another little song. "Gives me something to do with my hands. Helps me calm down. Diluc and Barbara have been teaching me though when we have the time."

Your soft smile at Barbara's song turns cheeky as you turn to him. "Wanna hear what they've taught me?"

"Sure, better than forcing this inane conversation."

You giggle maniacally as you smile at Barbara, the singer immediately catching your drift. "Follow me?" "To the ends of the earth."

You laugh, as she tunes the instrument to the right notes. "Not like that you sap!" "I know, I know! But yes, of course. His song right?"

You nod. "Yep."

"'My' song...?" Wanderer tilts his head in confusion, before realization dawns on his face.

"Hey, just because it has my-- ...that name, does not immediately mean its 'my song'."

The two of you handily ignore his slip up, you drinking some water in preparation for singing and Barbara testing the lyre if its in tune. "Oh, please," you say, sitting up. "you haven't even heard the full thing yet! It's definitely your song."

He sighs, leaning back against the cavern wall. "Very well then. Indulge me."

-

You start, reciting the beginning "poem" from memory. Barbara watches and waits, fingers hovering above the strings. Wanderer cocks his head, clearly interested. She begins playing as you get halfway, the lyre an excellent substitute for the piano. You continue, the Wanderer scoffing a little at the poem's mention of a poor boy needing no sympathy, but you pay it no mind. He hasn't heard the rest of the song yet.

"Mama,"

Barbara picks up on her playing, wringing the lyre out for all its worth for those deep chords and piano-like sounds.

"Just killed a man,"

You summoned the small drum you bought from a merchant in Inazuma in preparation.

"Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead,"

You close your eyes, swaying to the tune of the song.

"Mama, life had just begun,"

You didn't need to open your eyes to know that he's really listening now.

"But now I've gone and thrown it all away!"

You quickly tap on the drum, trying in vain to mimic the band's performance.

"Mama!, oooh,"

Zhongli was sat at the entrance with his legs crossed and humming along.

"Didn't mean to make you cry,"

Wanderer was still. You could almost hear the turning of the cogs in his mind.

"If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,"

The steady beat of the drum was a stark contrast to the deep, heavy feeling inside his chest.

"Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters."

His Vision pulsed, as his hand unconsciously came to caress it. Was this what it was like to have a heart?

Barbara's fingers were gentle on the strings as a set of footsteps approached the entrance of the cave. You could hear Little Lettuce's pitter-pattering and the dulcet tones of Zhongli and Diluc's voices as they catch up in the short time they've been separated.

"Too late, my time has come,"

He had closed his eyes, listening intently to the music as the waves of sound rocked him gently and deeply into his sea of memories.

"Sends shivers down my spine,"

He can see it now, those old fleeting moments of happiness before they were all ultimately destroyed.

"Body's aching all the time."

He could feel it, suddenly hyper aware of his joints and limbs. The feeling of phantom strings and hands pulling and pushing him like he was some puppet. (But it wasn't like he was ever anything else.)

"Goodbye, everybody. I've got to go,"

He could hear it, everyone's cries and wails of despair filling his ears as he sailed towards Inazuma City to beg the Shogunate (his mother) for mercy that they would not grant.

"Gotta leave you all behind to face the truth."

He could also hear the Doctor's cackling laughter as he began to weave his web of lies, webs that would replace the strings that she had put on him. That he had cut away.

"Mama!, oooh,"

He could see it, the light shining through the patches in the walls and the roof of that old hut. The kind and innocent smile on that sickly, young face.

"I don't wanna die,"

He could see it, red, red, red lapping up and eating away at the walls and roof of the house. Red, red, red all around them. As if he was asleep in a meadow of flowers. (or sinking into a pool of blood)

"I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.!"

You all gave him his moment, deep in his sea of memories. Diluc was wordlessly playing the zither, an imperfect substitute for an electric guitar. He'd noiselessly joined into your impromptu concert after he was caught up on the situation by Zhongli who had promptly disguised the mouth of the cavern as some kind of rock formation.

As he played, you thought back to the Wanderer's words. To the moment you first heard him say that-- his character teaser. Your heart had clenched back then, tears pricking the corners of your eyes but you couldn't help chuckling at his words-- that ever iconic song playing in your head. But you know that there was nothing to chuckle about here, Wanderer holding the brim of his hat in an almost vice-like grip. His jaw is clenched.

You all silently agreed to let the solo drag on at least a little bit longer. He takes a sharp breath. (You all know its his way of saying his thanks.)

Barbara begins plucking the lyre in a jaunty little tune, and you couldn't help but crack a grin. The atmosphere's heavy, but it's beginning to lift anyway.

"I see a little silhouetto of a man,"

The Wanderer scoffs, already knowing the next few lines by heart thanks to you. You all readily ignore the wetness in his sound.

"Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?!"

You were surprised at everyone joining in. Wanderer especially, being caught so off-guard that he jumped in his seat. "For the nth time, no I won't!" Barbara giggles as you push onwards, a manic grin on your face.

"Thunderbolt and lightning!"

Diluc only smiles at the mildly disgruntled Wanderer, his Divine Overseer and Mondstadt's Deaconess having stood up to sing their hearts out. "I'm pretty sure that's not gonna be the last time you say that to them."

"Very, very frightening, me!"

The singing duo once again became lost in the music of the song, belting their hearts and lungs out for their one audience member. Said audience member could only crack a smile and reply, "I had a feeling."

"Galileo, Galileo,"

You had all but screeched out said scientist's name as you pointed to Zhongli. When faced with the Wanderer's incredulous look, he could only gain a fond look in his eyes, shrug and say, "You get used to it over time."

"Galileo, Galileo,"

"Wait, you're all used to this?!" Barbara's sheepish as she answers. "They sing as a coping mechanism. We kind of picked it up over time as well." Diluc shrugs again. "It's better than alcoholism."

"Galileo, Figaro! - Magnifico, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,"

Wanderer cringes-- despite this, a smile is growing on his face. "You don't have to vocalize the echoes, you imbecile!" You merely put a hand to your forehead, aiming to up the drama with your next lyrics.

"I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me,"

He feels the tug of old memories, of old traumas still clinging to his skin. But he pays them no mind, knowing he must march onwards to the future. A future paved by a ragtag group of wanted divine beings and important people that are beginning to worm his way into his chest.

"He's just a poor boy from a poor family,"

Oh no. He's feeling it again.

"Spare him his life from this monstrosity!"

He cannot help but watch you all sing.

Barbara's fingers fly on the strings.

"Easy come,"

He felt what he felt back then, before she had forsaken him.

"Easy go,"

He felt what he felt back then, before he was fooled into thinking he had left him-- left them.

"Will you let me go?"

He felt what he felt back then, before he was torn away from him with no bigger enemy to blame but his own mortality.

"Bismillah! No!"

It was affection. It was care.

"We will not let you go!

(Let him go!)"

Oh archons, he's starting to care.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go!

(Let him go!)"

For hundreds of years, he's hardened his heart and closed himself off from everyone and everything. Sworn to scrub himself clean of human emotions.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go!

(Let me go!)"

And yet, for those same hundreds of years, he had never fully closed himself off-- never fully scrubbed away the feeling of... feeling.

"Will not let you go! (Let me go!)"

He couldn't help but glance at those two, fingers flying across the strings of their instruments. Humans, can they really be trusted?

"Will not let you go! (Let me go!)

His eyes slowly drifted to the other two, one ancient and the other practically a newborn. Can the gods really make him feel anything other than loathing?

"Never let you go!

(Never, never, never let me go!)"

He takes in their entire performance, all of them being their pure, complete, and unadulterated selves. With no masks to keep on, or roles to maintain. Merely singing, and dancing, and playing these instruments just for the heck of it.

"Oh, oh, oh!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

For centuries, he has roamed this world-- seeing and meeting many new people, and yet never regarding any of them as his companions.

"Oh, mama mia, mama mia!"

Would he be able to regard these people as such?

"Mama mia, let me go!"

Would he be able to trust them, like the did with the others? To stay and not break their promises with him?

"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,"

Would he be able to hold on to them, and they not let go as they had been claiming over and over?

"For me!"

Well, he has no choice in the matter. He's stuck with them now, as wanted fugitives.

"For me!"

Only time will tell if they forsake him like those before him. At least he's safe in the comfort that the world had forsaken them as well. Just like him. He hopes that strange sort of kinship makes you understand. He hopes it makes you stay.

You whooped with joy as Barbara absolutely nailed that note, Diluc quickly shredding on the zither afterwards. You would've given it to Zhongli but-- the man hasn't played a guitar before. And you need a certain "je ne sais quoi" to really pull off what Queen was doing. ...Also, you needed the sound of a guitar for the song.

You glance back to the Wanderer, mostly silently listening this whole time. He was lightly bopping his hand to the beat. You smile, taking whatever victories you can get. "Beelzebub? Really?" You blow a raspberry at him, preparing for the next part of the song. "I'll tell you about it later!" You clear your throat.

"So, you think you can stone me and spit in my eye!"

Diluc hits that sick riff.

"So, you think you can love me and leave me to die?!"

Barbara, even if she's practically undetectable underneath Diluc's strumming and your-- excuse me, Zhongli's drum beating, is still managing to bring up and compliment every single one of you performing.

"Oh, baby!"

You swear, if you all weren't wanted fugitives forced to live on the LAM because of a crime you didn't commit, you'd be a killer band.

"Can't do this to me baby!"

You do gotta thank Zhongli for subtly swiping away the drums from you-- you frankly weren't quite sure how you'd be able to focus on giving this song the power ballad it deservers while also playing an instrument.

"Just gotta get out,"

Despite all your peeking on Wanderer for his opinions on the song and to check on his emotional state, you weren't exactly omniscient. You were, afterall, still performing and still getting lost in the music.

"Just gotta get right outta here!"

So you didn't notice the twinge of an... almost fond emotion lacing his face as he watches you rock out to this classic. What can you say, Diluc kills it on the zither.

The sound builds and builds, Barbara layering on top of it and you not being able to resist the urge to air guitar to it as it slowly reaches its crescendo... And crashes back down, Zhongli and Diluc humming along to the sound.

"Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah,"

You gasp for breath, the end of the song finally coming up. Diluc's energetic playing slows down, signaling the finale.

"Nothing really matters,"

You feel sweat dripping down your skin, having danced and moved around-- possessed by the power of the song.

"Anyone can see,"

You lean your back against the cave wall, relishing in its coolness as you bring the song to a close.

"Nothing really matters... Nothing really matters, to me..."

You sigh as you sink, pleased and satisfied at everyone's performance.

"Any way the wind blows..."

Zhongli finishes it off with the rapping of the drum, mimicking a cymbal crash to his best ability. Barbara beams at the Wanderer, who looks like he's regretting singing along to that last part.

"So," you ask, out of breath. "what'cha think about the song?"

Wanderer waves off Barbara's tired but happy smile, poofing the fourth bowl back into existence and busying his hands. He prepares Diluc's Shimi Chazuke as he hums.

"Well, despite it being a complete emotional roller coaster and the utter gibberish that it contains, I suppose that its worthy being called 'my song', as you will."

"I'll fucking take it! Fives all around guys, good job!" You quickly double high five everyone in the group-- Zhongli letting you slam your hands down on his, Barbara being a quick pair of one-two taps, and Diluc just lightly bumping his full hands into yours. You turn to Wanderer, waiting for him to high five you. "You too, hat boy-- you joined in the song, you get some fives."

At least Diluc had the decency to look away when he huffed in amusement. "Hat boy?! Let me tell you, I've gone through many names and titles during my journey. And each one is more eminent than any ordinary mortal could ever imagine!"

As he said these words, his heart slowly sank to his feet as he saw the stupid, cheeky smile growing on your face. "Yes, yes... But! and I quote, 'they're all just water under the bridge to me now.

Call me whatever you like. Go ahead, let me see what you can come up with.'" The Wanderer's eye twitched.

"And that's the best you can come up with?! If you know me so well, oh, great Overseer, then you would very much know that I'm also telling you to not disappoint me! Tell me, All-Knowing Guide, am I not disappointed?!" You snorted, too tired from the day's events to feel any sort of proper fear and trepidation at this situation. "Then, I'll just keep thinking of names until something sticks, mushroom head." You pat his head. "Now, how in the world did you even get here Lulu?"

He sips from his bowl full of rice and tea. "Doro44 Sumeru Chasm sneakpeek. Would've gotten here faster if the place wasn't absolutely surrounded by treasure hoarders and Fatui. Had a bit of trouble finding it as well, since it was behind some rock walls." He grabs a small twig from the ground and starts drawing. "Its a sort of cave that's absolutely overgrown by giant roots." "You dare to ignore me?!"

You flash that same cheeky grin at him again. "We didn't ignore you, we just changed the subject!"

Nope, he takes it all back. He hates all of you.

---

AND THATS A FUCKING WRAP AUGHHHHHHHHH-- broooooo, you would not BELIEVE how hard this was to write. both because Bohemian Rhapsody is SUCH a long song but also because of SOOOO many outside circumstances. like BRUH i was supposed to release this like a day after my castaways fic but NOOOOOOOO-- life got so in the way man. my parents started breathing down my neck for chores, we had to visit my relatives in the province (still in the province btw lol), i got FUCKING SICK BECAUSE OF STRESS AND DUST ALLERGIES and i literally spent like-- my first few days sick making my sickness FUCKING WORSE since our house was literally covered in dust and i was the only one who could clean it fucking apparently. bro, i even spent this goddamn christmas fucking sick. ugh this has been such a hell week. literally the only comfort i found this week was all genshin related AHAHA-- i was playing genshin, visiting the SAGAU tag a lot, waiting for fanfics to update, just generally genshin brainrotting.

ugh thank god i finally released this one. i do have a lot of ideas for this down the road and hell dawg! i even got a request! thats the one thatll be coming up next. i wrote like-- a massive part of this sick and it got sOOOOO out of hand ever since i didnt get to finish it that day so i hope it sticks together well and is mostly coherent. enjoy!! :))

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact au #genshin impact self aware #self aware genshin impact #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #genshin sagau #sagau genshin #genshin impact sagau #sagau genshin impact #sagau #sagau impostor au #genshin impostor au #impostor au genshin impact #impostor au sagau #sagau impostor #sagau songfic #sagau identity theft playlist #Playlist for when you're accused of Identity Theft #identity theft playlist

[chaifootsteps]

What do you think happens to Bojack after the show ends?

I always thought that he relapses pretty easily and continues his never ending cycle of getting better, getting worse, and getting better again until he inevitably dies relatively young from drug and alcohol abuse.

Or Charlotte fucken shoots him.

Sad as it is to say, that was my first thought when the show ended too. I think he'll probably always make an attempt to be better, will succeed for a while, but it will never stick. Something will always come along where being a shit person is the easier option, and he'll take the path of least resistance.

Although I like to think he starts dating Mr. Peanutbutter and lands somewhere in the realm of "never going to be a great person, but in a slightly happier, more stable way," where he remains for the rest of his life.

#Anonymous #BoJack Horseman #actual blog post

[anonymousstoryteller2000]

Saw you wanted Joe request so I'll keep it simple for you:) something fluffy and smutty more of making love then just sex. Everything up to you just have the reader and him be married:)

He'll yeah I'm definitely doing this 🤎

Fluff,smut

Main masterlist

Happy anniversary

@j4to6786

You and Joseph have been married little over 1 years now and been dating for 4 years its started off when you were working with the duffer you were a screen writing and also a actress but mostly screen writing you known the duffer since season 1 knowing there struggles trying to air stranger things you been there ever sience .you got really close with Joe cause you helped write eddie so when you and Joe started hanging out alot I mean 24/7 off set on set you both got close with eachother personaly Joe really did like you you were very different from other women he tried to date, you had sence of humor very caring lovable and passionate for your work you are everything to him so when Joe finally asked you out it was a shock to you but you felt the same way now it's yalls 5 year anniversary and couldn't ask for a better husband

Date night

You and Joe were ready to go out tonight on yalls date Joe didn't tell you cause he wanted it to be suprised yall were both in la for some time before Joe had to go back to London for work and you go with the duffer to help finish writing scripts and helping on the characters so this was the perfect time just to get out and have fun a make the most of it .

Love you ready he yelled from the living room while putting on both of his chains and his rings in the mirror

You walked from the closet to your living room you had on a silk beautiful burgundy dress that shows your arms and your chest off and falls all the way down to your ankles with black high hills you had on and a natural eye makeup look with a bold burgundy Matt lip on that just sat right with your skin tone and your hair was done nice and it was curled at the ends to sculpted your face shape .you also had on your necklaces Joe got you from your first date night and your promises ring with your wedding ring on you looked so stunning everything looked right on you and your brown eyes popped out more with the color, you look beautiful in his eyes.

Wow, he said, looking at you with wide eyes and a smile

You smiled back at him, and your cheeks were turning red no matter if you were married to joe. You always got flustered by him

Joe had on this black and grey striped tuxedo with a light blue button up shirt under with his chest showing off seeing his 2 chains and bit of chest hair and loose black pants on his curls were set perfectly on his head with a curl coming down on his forehead with a fresh cleaned beard and mustash he looked gorgeous

wow to you to Mr quinn you say coming up close to him wraping your hands around his neck kissing his lips he moans into the kiss smirking

you look Very fucken good (just imagine that one tik tok were he like moaning about food on that one podcast just imagine he saying that to you)he says while smirking down at you giving you another peak on the lips

You start blushing, smiling up at him

thank you ,you don't look bad yourself handsome you say before kissing again on his neck then his cheek he blushes at you smiling showing off his dimples

okay, let's go before we start something we can't finish. He said while grabbing you by the hand walking out of your shared apartment .

Dinner was amazing. Joe took you out to an Italian place he found online and drank some wine and some dirty martini. Joe drove home cause had too much wine .

Home

Joe helped you get inside with your hills in your hand he was holding you from the back, following you in while you were giggling

Joe, you say while giggling

yes love?

I love you!! you say while turning your whole body to face him and leaning in to kiss him he moans into the kiss, and you lean back and fall onto the bed and start laughing when Joe falls on top of you

I love ya to baby he said while kissing you and giggling agian ,you wrap your arms around Joe and grind up on him he know what your doing so he grinds down on you you both hiss from the sensitivity from his bulge and your clit

Joe, please, you whine while making eye contact with

what do you want love he asked while kissing your face down to your chest

i-i want you to make love to me, you say, while bringing his head back up, kissing him

as you wish beautiful he says while getting up sitting on the back of his heels while he takes off his tuxedo then unbuttons his shirts and throws it on the floor you take notice and start undressing yourself taking off your silk dress and throwing it on the floor only leaving you and your matching black and bra panties Joe quickly takes off his pants only leaving him in his checkered boxers he leans down and begins to kiss you very slowly you grab him from the back of his head slowly pulling his hair he grunts making him kiss you harder he pushes his tongue between your lips asking for access you let him in and he starts kissing you very messy you break from the kiss and start kissing him everywhere on his face on his Adam apple and on his veiny neck you start licking his neck sucking harder on it he hisses from the pain and pleasure he pulls your head away from his neck and starts kissing you down your body you slowly leave yourself up to undo your bra well Joe kisses down your stomach and between your thighs biting and kissing very Softly. You finally take off your bra and throw it on the floor which causes Joe to look up at you you could see the lust in his eyes when he makes contact with your breast then looks back down at you and slowly takes off your underwears he goes back up facing your pussy kissing in between your thighs and kissing your lips and nibbling on the Flesh of it

baby, please don't tease me. You said while looking down at him that he looks back up at you, smirking at you

I won't baby let me take my time love he says while looking back down he grabs your ankles and puts them over his shoulder and starts eat you out it's gentle it's all kisses your clit but flicks his tongue a couple of times you feel the sensation of it pleasure of his tongue rapidly licking over your clit he does softly and slowly making you arch your back pushing his face a little bit more into your cunt he moans into your pussy which sense a vibration to your clit you start softly grabbing him by his curls pulling his hair a bit his tongue flicking starts getting faster and faster that slows down he looks up at you seeing your Blissful eyes your eyes start getting teary without a warning he Scoops up all they're already pre come from you put it on his fingers and slides his fingers right into you, you hiss and moan from it causing you to arch your back more he pumps his fingers in very slowly while licking your clit this time it's more faster than determined he looks up at you making eye contact with you while you stare down at him at that time you start playing with your breasts teasing your nipples in between your fingers while still looking down at him, Joe sees what you're doing and starts pumping his fingers and faster which causes you to Moan more louder you can hear all the wetness from your cunt witch cause you to curl your toes and moan more

fuck Joe feels so fucken good baby you say while moaning Joe moans into your again witch causes you to push your hips up into his face grabbing his hair again pushing his face in more he hums in your pussy fasting his finger more into you he feel that your almost there when you start clinching around his finger ,Joe looks up at you seeing your yes close shut and your mouth open while you frown your eyebrows while still playing with your breast

you gonna come love you didn't answer you just moaned I SAID are you gonna come baby he asked agian pumping his finger in faster maing your cry out moans

Yes, baby fu-ckkk, I'm gon-ann come baby shit I'm almost there

come for me sweetheart fucken come on my finger make a mess everywhere I wanna feel you clinch on my fingers baby see all the cum dripping out of you he says while pumping in his finger fast not messing with your clit anymore

fuck jo-you say while going down to your clit rubbing it while Joe pumps his finger in faster Joe was speech less watching you play with yourself while he works on your hole you clink around his one more time and release on his finger witch causes you to Moan out his name and only his name while bucking your hips up,Joe helps your ride out your high leaving is finger in your while you ride his finger a bit still playing with your clit,once your done he takes his finger out scoops up some of your cums and sucks it off of his finger making eye contact with you ,he stands up leaning over you

that was so fucken hot watching you play with yourself like that while you clinched around my finger he says into your ear witch earns hims a whimper from you he leans down to your lips hovering over your face ,you wanna tast yourself love he asked you nod your head and Joe kisses you licking your lips and everything you can tast the salty sweetness of yourself on his tongue and lips yall both moan into the kiss you resch your hands around his while playing his hair agian he breaks from the kiss

I need to be inside you love please he said while taking down his boxer showing his v line you nod your head you made contact with his cock yku can see his tips it was angry red and his cock was vainy and red you also saw the base of the hair on his cock everything to you looked so sexy you gulped while looking back up at him .

you don't want me to suck you off, babe ?? you asked while looking at him with your soft doll eyes

no baby just need to feel you clinch around me like you did my finger he smiled while giggling a little you nod your head ,Joe takes his cock and scoops up the bit of your come still on your cunt witch you hiss from the touch he takes it and puts it on his dick and stocks himself a few times he moans while bitting his lip a bit leaning his head back a bit . you tried to close your legs while you were getting more wetter just by seeing Joe stock himself ,Joe look down at you smirking finally Joe lines up his cock to your entrance teasing you a bit going up and down at your whole with his tips making both of you whine he sticks his dick you Joe leans down on your taking both your hands and holding them on the side of your head he thrust into you slowly but very deep

baby sh-it you feelll so good Joey, you say Joe leans down kissing you sloppy he thrust his dick in you faster but not to fast you breaks from the kiss throwing your head back a bit grinding up while arching your back even more Joe moves down in between your boobs while still holding your hands on the side of you he takes your nipple into his mouth sucking softly and slowly he bites down a bit nibbling on your breast

Joe, please let me touch you, baby, please!!, he didn't even say nothing he let go of you ,you wrap your arm around his back scratching into his back earning a low groan from him you inwine your legs into his pushing him deeper into you witch made him speed up more you threw your head back moaning

look at me love want y-ou to remember who makes you feel good baby, he says while you tilt your head back down making eye contact with him He bits his lip thrusting into you more hitting your g spot every thrust you could feel all of him the tip of his dick the vainyness and the thickness of it all satificing you every thrust you can hear the wetness your pussy aand his balls slapping the bottom of your ass

FUCK!! I LOVE YOU BABY SO FUCK-EN MUCH, he moans out loud"

"Love you i-love you love youuu you say while bring his head to your chest hugging him Joe can feel you clinching him faster"

you gonna come love, he asked you nod your head repeatedly "come for me baby show me how much you love this British dick" he said while trusting In faster

you tighten around him let your body jerk up FUCK !!!JOE I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU BABY SH-IT IM COUMMMING !! you moaned out loud while squeezing Joe closer to you spilling all over his dick , you whole body went fuzzy and you were seeing starts you look down at him he still hasn't reached himself high yet so you decided to help him out a bit .

fuck Joe come in baby I need to feel you pulsing in me I wanna feel you fill me up baby please feel me up, you said moaning into his ear Joe grunts while pounding into your faster you push your hips up more meeting him helping him.

fuckkk baby I love yah so mu-chh so fucken good for me you and this pussy fu-ck me!! moans into your ear thrusting harder ,you reach down in between yall and start playing with his balls while kissing and licking all over his neck making hickys on his shoulder too ,he grunts from all pleasure of your touch .

baby you love me you asked he nods his head into your shoulder then I wanna fucken feel you fill me up baby please baby ,you moan again fucken take this pussy baby shi-t you moaned into his ear .

Joe starts speeding up faster while you're still playing with his balls. You look between yall and down at him, bringing his head up to you making eye contact .

cum for me Joe cum for me, you said while looking Straight into his eyes Joe grunts finally spilling into you he rides his high out bearing himself deep inside you he looks at you kissing you all over your face breathing heavily.you kiss him on the lips both moaning it the kiss finally breaking Joe pulls out from you causing you to hiss from the emptiness Joe watching some cum spill out of you Joe gets up jogs to the restroom grabbing a rag to clean you up once he done he lay beside you grabbing you and hugging you, you lay your head on his chest looking up at him .

hi

hi yall say while smiling up at each other, Joe kisses your forehead .

"British dick Joe really," you say while laughing at him

"shhhh!! you loved it, " he said while covering your mouth while he started laughing ,you lick his hand, playfullying he took his hands off, pretending to be discusted by it

I did, and I love you

And I love you

Happy anniversary, love

#joesph quinn #eddie x reader #joseph quinn x reader #joe quinn #joesph quinn x reader #eddie munson #joe quinn x y/n #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn x you #joesph Q #joe Q

[quandaryqueen]

So I just read that post about what the Riddlers smell like (and I'm glad we can all agree that Arkham!Eddie needs to be thrown into the shower!🐀) Any headcanons on what scents they might like on their partner? 🤔

The Riddler's favoured scents on their S/O headcanons

Edward Nygma X Reader

I love the way you think, Mun 👀

It is now once again time to run around the house to sniff perfumes 🤧

All I can say is the fact that they have on thing in common-- is the fact that your perfume shouldn't be too overwhelming.

💚 Gotham

No, omg 'coz I just remembered that this dude canonically sniffs people by the back of their necks like a creep. But anyways, I bet he tries to guess what fragrance do you wear, by watching you and sniffing your neck when you walk away— which is yes, bordering on creepy stalker guy status and I can't blame you if you think that's fucken creepy. Because it is, regardless of his intentions. Once he's figured what you use, depending on his current budget, he'd buy and gift it to you.

But that didn't answer your question 😅

He happens to be fond of cooking, baking to be precise. Perhaps some vanilla, oh! Shea butter. He likes Shea butter. Cleopatra apparently loved shea butter. There is a mention of caravans of clay jars filled with shea butter for her use. It’s also said that this luxurious ingredient was beloved by the Queen of Sheba and Nefertiti. But yeah, Shea butter.

💚 Young Justice

Of course, nothing too overwhelming but let's be honest, he wouldn't care about himself if you happen to spritz yourself 37 times from head to toe. Nausea? No, it's just him getting drunk of your presence. But if you choose something subtle, something that won't kill him, he finds something citrus or fruity scents in general soothing. But he doesn't mind about which scent you use either way.

Like when you'd hug him after a long day, he'll bury himself in your hold and breathe you in, before clinging closer. Maybe stop the pricking tears from the corner of his eyes when that particular day was extra rough on him.

💚 Arkhamverse

As Riddler simps, we really need to bond together. How about we abduct the Riddleman and lock him in the shower? You know, for team building? Great! I'll get the duct tape, you guys hold him down. I neglected to mention that this guy probably uses 3in1 bath products. So let's make sure to give him proper shampoo, conditioner and soap. Maybe throw in some skin care.

But jokes aside, let me tell you, this man is addicted to your scent. When you're gone (let's not kid ourselves here, when he's gone), he looks for your warmth, your touch, your fragrance. He'd grow extra fucking hissy when he misses you and in his frustration of getting constantly side tracked due to his longing, tantrums will be thrown in the workshop until you go there to undo whatever damage he's done to his environment, and himself.

And the instant you got near, he is latching himself on you. Good luck prying him off.

He likes musky scents, maybe throw in some floral scent to it. Something calming, perhaps lavender or Arabian jasmines (Sampaguita, to my fellow countrymen). He never knew he liked floral scented things, it was an accidental find.

💚 Batman the animated series

BERRIES! The scent of berries and cinnamon. Not necessarily mixed together, but perhaps separately. Oh, and caramel and coffee.

Perhaps it was something he's fond of when he was still downing the berry flavoured energy drinks and caffeine to substitute his need to sleep during tumultuous hours in college, but he really does love the scent.

He is also inhaling the scent of his significant others when hugging them and it really makes him think about how lucky he is that he finally has someone who loves him. In a way that he doesn't question their every actions, whether they have hidden intentions behind kind gestures, that something sinister his behind your sweet smile... But no, you genuinely just love him, with no personal agenda at all.

💚 Batman Unburied

Yeah, every iterations of Riddlers have not given a kind touch in their life. He attained some sort of trauma from a scent, an expensive musk worn by one of the guards in Arkham that regularly would regularly degrade him so whenever he smells this certain scent, he'd have an anxiety attack.

But anyways, favourite fragrance on his significant other... Well, the scent of chai doesn't fail to soothe him and I think there are some perfume with hints of ginger flower and almond cream, I think he'd be really into that.

Developing his acute sense of smell towards a person wearing a particular scent he hates, he also can smell when you're near if you're wearing the chai perfume and he will be instantly running in your arms. Like the other Riddler's, he will fucking cry if you just embrace him in your arms, he will cling tightly and just grip your flesh, you'd feel his nails dig in your skin. Damn... Let's all gather the Riddlers and just hug them.

#edward nygma #riddler x reader #edward nygma x reader #dc x reader #dc x you #edward nigma #request #btas riddler x reader #btas riddler #arkham riddler #arkham riddler x reader #young justice riddler x reader #young justice riddler #gotham edward nygma #gotham riddler x reader #batman unburied riddler x reader #batman unburied riddler #enigmacorps

[slashingdisneypasta]

Imagine-

Pervy MultiVillains trying to initiate something with you, but you're acting all squirrelly and trying to brush him off, which is very out of the ordinary and confusing them... because, and you dont want to admit this but,... you kinda, sorta, maybe already took care of yourself 😅

Beetlejuice kinda jokes about it at first, like "What?? You already do it or something baby???", a goofy befuddled look on his face- and then... slowly... his face grows stormy and his voice goes demonic when you just kinda laugh, nervously, in responce. "Wait wait wait- You did!? " He finally found someone with a similarly high sex drive as he does and you did this to him?? He finds this to be fucken heinous betrayal. If you're gonna fuck yourself at least let him watch! So no. Oh, no. He's not going to let this go right away. This pisses him off. And tonight you're going to learn a lesson from him you will never forget.

Chucky didn't even know that was something you did at all- masturbate?? You?? You're way too cute for that, no way. But when you jump at his touch, he's got to consider it. He's like, "huh... okay then... hm... be right back." He promptly leaves you and goes in search. Your room gets picked through, your internet history is checked, every miscellaneous bottle in your bathroom gets read- until he finds proof (A toy, porn, racy tumblr blogs, lube or toy cleaner, whatever).

"Aha!" He'll exclaim, and you will never hear the end of it after that 😅 What? He's just very curious about this part of your life he had no damn idea about~~

When you continuously attempt to distract Freddy, he grows increasingly suspicious of you- until you're just chatting away and he's not trying to touch you anymore but he's not listening either, he's thinking... and it's never a good thing when he thinks. After a few minutes of this he suddenly speaks ("Do you have a toy??" Cuz like, theres gotta be a reason you are acting so damn sensitive, and he knows you. He knows how you act when you've had a time~), and it takes you by surprise so it takes you a moment to register what he's said and then- when you do- you open your mouth to object... notice the very serious, I will know if you lie bitch, kinda look on his face...

"No!??" You exclaim, though the fact that you're running away tells him everything he needs to know.

Greasy doesn't consider it on his own- he's used to being turned down so he just sorta goes off huffing. Like, fine. Maybe next time you need him he'll tell you he's not in the mood, eh? It's not until he's complaining to Wheezy, who's not really paying any attention and says something off-hand like maybe y/n delt with it themself tonight, that Greasy has the 💡💡💡 moment ("Wait... what? WHAT!? You think... they... oh no. Absolutely not- "). He's off in a millisecond, leaving Wheezy thankfully alone again, and throwing your door open again like

'Y/N!! WHERE IS IT HERMOSA!?'

'Jesus christ Greasy what the hell!??'

(And I could not for the life of me think of anything for Hades, my brain just went nooooooooooooooo sh sh sh nope nonononono not today ma'am- so I will be back here when my Hades brain boots back up)

#Imagine #Imagines #MultiVillains x Reader #MultiVillains x Reader Imagine #MultiVillains Imagine #Beetlejuice #Beetlejuice x Reader #Chucky #Charles Lee Ray #Chucky x Reader #Charles Lee Ray x Reader #Freddy Krueger x Reader #Freddy Krueger #Greasy Weasel #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Hades #Disney Hades #Hades x Reader #Disney Hades x Reader

[eldritch-spouse]

Just read that one post on how to REALLY escape from Breg and YIKES the hurt on that one. Like, the dudes getting captured and taken back to the same hell hole he escaped from begging and pleading for YOUR help only to see you just. There. With the other staff. LIKE MY GOD. Dude when i read that i was like YIKESS. That musta stung. Bad.

Like I remember reading another post bout what would happen if Breg was recaptured and how he literally killed himself while thinking of you and how happy he was that he met you and managed to live his life. I’m gonna give props to you cause you ended that post PERFECTLY. How in his final moments he’s thinking of how beautiful you are and how lucky that is like thats fucking heartbreaking.

So imagine when he was getting recaptured, he fucking sees you just talkin to the staff so calmly and the real choker is how you look so… relieved? Like I can’t say this enough but OUCH. Can’t tell what his reaction would be but it’s hurt. A lot of hurt. Like I’m sure he’d be too sad and heartbroken and betrayed to be angry. Maybe angry later, But now? In disbelief and is absolutely devastated. Like all this time you were lying, faking everything? When he thought you loved him when really you just put up with him hoping for the day to get rid of him.

That’s so fucken awful. Cause like ya said (i think) he’d rather die than go back to the facility. So no doubt he’s gonna off himself again all while thinking of what you did. Like god that’s a real stinker. Can’t imagine how that felt. Mans gonna be a whole explosion of emotions, Too overwhelmed to handle it all because he’s just thinking of you you you.

Overall, Props to you. You really know how to write some angsty shit. Like genuinely you write really well done! Because truthfully I’ve been binging to Yer Breg tag and i loved him and all your posts! Can’t wait to get a start on your other works, Got my eye on Morell so i might check him out later lol

Ah, this post and this one.

TW: Heavy angst, mentions of murder and suicide.

It would take so long for him to process it, it really would. One moment, his brain starts trying to close that bubble all over again, trying to erase these last few parts of your relationship and pretend that you really did love him, that what you had was real and beautiful- But then, then this wave of endless fury just consumes him, and the need to kill you keeps rising.

If Breg ever got his hands on you, it would be the ugliest scene imaginable. He's sick over the fact that he can't stop craving your love yet knows what a piece of shit you really are- There's a good chance he'd fuck you to death. Fortunately, he's never making it out again. Count your blessings. And thanks to his initial outbursts courtesy of your betrayal, he'll probably remain restrained all the time, so he can't hurt anyone including himself. Suicide isn't an option anymore.

Not without his teeth, with a stump of tail, declawed and perpetually chained to the wall even inside his own isolated cell. Swallowing your own tongue is a lot harder than it looks, you know? His days are spent wailing, haunted by visions of you even as those hellish fucking pumps drain his cocks for hours at a time. If he had the opportunity to see the other groups of captive breeders, subject M197 would let himself fall to the floor and wait for them to viciously tear him apart, but he knows he'll never be given that mercy.

Even if Breg has dreams of dragging your open skull through miles of asphalt-

At the end of the day, he knows he'll do anything if it meant having you back, you finally accepting him. Everyday his body collects new scars and deformities from his futile attempts at fighting back, his sanity peels apart like rotten wallpaper, and he knows that if you didn't love him then you'll never love him now... But it's the only thing he sees when he spaces out anyway.

Because his brain won't move on, refuses to. Delusion has always been his cope, why would this be any different?

[Thenk! It's always been easier for me to write angst than fluff, I like keeping things dark :7. Morell is one of my favorites, hope you like that nutty fuck.]

#Bregory

[toxictoxicities]

thank you for answering me. It was really cool seeing your response. Also I love the comment about Suns not crying to Pebbs. It's funny. Though I know I'm more of a sunstone shipper-- but again, I got to be the weirdest little fandom person ever and think about how tiny Pebbs is portrayed in the fandom, looming over, or straddling Suns and how they're portrayed in the fandom. I can't just be normal. Also I am still new to fandom, and haven't played the game, so I am still learning lore and stuff. I remember it saying that Pebbles in the beginning was difficult to respect authority, so I liked that angle; because he didn't bow to authority, because he questioned, and challenged Suns, suns felt like he wasn't just some means of worship. but ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU LOVE SIGNAL LIGHTS, AND I DO LOVE How Sig and Suns can be with each other! They are very much on Stable Even Ground. And hearing Suns say they learned from the best (aka Sig). That's so cute! Little gay robots making little cats together. Especially disabled cats (looks at spearmaster and hunter). Anyway, it's so amazing that you replied to my little comment. And again I just--- Suns. Suns is good, and they deserve to be given love and taken care of sometimes. And especially the baking bread. Even if they can't eat it. The idea of Suns baking bread is the cutest thing ever and Suns-- if they had more human hobbies, would absolutely bake.

I'm too lazy to draw a reply so- I might as well also warn with spoilers bc I've played all campaigns, read broadcasts and pearls- the lot- I'm a fucken nerd XDD you can ask @revolvius and he'll tell you I'm god with the Rainworld geoguesser (too bad it's down rn tho :(

Yeah throughout Spearmasters campaign we get a shit ton of broadcasts between Sigs and Suns, Suns coming over to Sigs searching for support and all that jazz. Being defiant and such is mentioned to be a common trait for new iterators, it being referred to as a phase. Pebbles just happens to be quite more driven to be independent not wanting to be told what to do.

This trait is why Pebbles works with Suns in the first place because Suns - in sliverist groups- is the one asking the big questions no one wants to talk about such as "is it truly wrong to break the self destruction taboo" which probably was appealing to Pebbles to follow behind the footsteps of an older iterator who had similar ideals and researching into something Pebbles would want to sink his teeth into to be independent from what every other sliverist was thinking. Hell even his local group dissed on him because once again- sliverist despite wanting to follow SOS still held the taboo higher than actually trying to figure out SOS solution

(EP being Pebbles, Erratic Pulse)

Anyways yeah with this in mind I reckon Pebbles would heavily look up to Suns, worship not being the word I'd use but certainly I don't think Pebbles would go against Suns- he only does when confronted about his mistakes which he admits later on he only did it out of shame.

Sooo I won't lie there is some sort of tone with Suns being held so highly- despite there not being much evidence I would love to see Suns city and see if it is bigger than other iterators ect

can only infer Suns status with what's around him.

I mean there's also this- Pebbles always coming to Suns for guidance but never vise versa. It shows that Suns had a higher status or rep to Pebbles- portrayed as wise when they are only intelligent.

Also in Emergence, they can in fact eat bread ^^ , upgrades people upgrades

#rough analysis #I know there's more stuff out there to support the idea of Pebs looking up to Suns #but I just can't find it RDFYG #but I infer this attitude is spread across #Sigs being the exception as -points to Suns respect for Sigs n vise versa- #ToxTalk #qna

[aroacesigma]

ok anyway izuleo. there is so much to go thru here. pls be aware that i am looping fineknights starlight parade rn so im like 500x more insane. this is so much lore bear with me

okay so. leo and izumi met a bit before the war when leo just kinda. burst into a classroom izumi was practicing in and was like "ur singing sucks lmao" and izumi was like "what the hell" and then they got in a small scuffle or some shit and then leo basically just didn't leave izumi alone and called izumi his muse and composed a bunch of songs for him so they're besties.

so like. izuleo are just kinda chilling. and then the old leader of the mega-unit.... Othello? or Backgammon? I think it was called at the time? has smth happen and can't be the leader anymore (it's heavily implied that Eichi was why the previous leader stepped down) so Leo is left to fill in the slot and he becomes the new leader and renames the unit back to its og name before the name changes to Othello and Backgammon - Chess. but most of the people in the unit (bc at this time units were GIANT and encompassed like hundreds of students) didn't actually care abt being idols and were just kinda in the unit for the sake of the name they could ride off of that looks good on their resumes and shit. Eichi did not like that. so eichi does his eichi things and pulls strings with the student council (thanks keito) and makes it so units cannot be bigger than 5 people and can't really be smaller than 2 due to prohibitive costs and whatnot. (madara is an exception. they let him stay a solo unit bc it kept him out of everyone's hair) so. the mega-units splinter!

Leo and Izumi go to form their own unit out of the splinter units and Leo originally suggests them being named Knight, but Izumi tells him that that name was already taken, and suggests Knights instead. (yes. izumi named their unit.) and so ! Knights is born ! Izumi and Leo are the only real members at this time so they go. recruit people i guess idk. Arashi gets roped in despite not actually caring abt idol-ing at the time and i think Ritsu just kinda comes along bc it's the easiest course of action? idk man it's been so long since i read Checkmate. ANYWAY.

Eichi uses this early Knights to destroy units he sees as threats and to test the DreamLive system (which is the current system operating in Enstars for lives and shit. i cannot explain it) or maybe it's DreamFes? idk. one of the two. anyway. at one point Leo goes to a bunch of the other splinter units and asks if they had to choose between never using his music again (leo is a genius composer btw and is largely attributed to being a reason knights is so popular) and being his friend; or using his music. Every single person he goes to chooses his music over him. Strike one on the Leo Downfall Arc! ALSO ENGSTARS RETCONS THIS. DON'T TRUST THEM. In Engstars Izumi says that Leo once asked him that question too, but that's a fucken LIE Izumi was never asked to choose between Leo and his music bc his choice was always Leo and Leo KNEW that.

The two are disgustingly codependent at this point btw. so like. Leo uses his music to destroy these splinter units of the mega units and everyone Eichi considers a threat and this does. A LOT to his mental state. He's kind of disgustingly codependent with Izumi to the point where he basically tells Izumi that he'll do anything Izumi asks of him and that all he wants is for Izumi to smile (and praise him i think?) bc like. at this point Izumi has gotten super harsh on Leo and like. Izumi is normally prickly but this is way worse. Strike Two on the Leo Downfall Arc!

Sometime after this (I do not know exactly when. again. been awhile) Leo realizes what he's done and the fact that he's stepped on so many people and that his music is little more than a weapon and just fucking. breaks. he becomes a shut-in and basically disappears from Yumenosaki. Izumi visits him a few times - most notably in the short story Lionheart where he visits and Ruka (leo's younger sister) ends up crying and begging Izumi to help Leo, which leads to Leo coming out of his room (and Izumi describes him as being super gaunt and barely able to stand) and tells Izumi off for making Ruka cry. (he didn't make ruka cry btw she's just really worried abt her brother) After that Izumi leaves the house and goes and sits on the beach and is all emo while listening to the MP3 player full of music Leo's made for him. one of the tracks is just a recording of their first meeting too and izumi does not have a good time listening to that. I think at the end of Lionheart Izumi promises to keep fighting in Leo's name until he's strong enough.

Anyway. While Leo's a shut-in he basically stops composing entirely bc he stops hearing music in his head and thinks everything he composes is worthless which leads to him hurting himself (i still hc that he has scars on his hands from biting himself and izumi always gets a little sad when he sees them) which eventually leads to Madara taking Leo to travel the world so he can get his groove back. This is during IzuLeo's second year i think. The war was during their first year i think. timeline is fuzzy ngl. So Leo is basically missing for the entirety of his second year. Knights at that time is Izumi, Ritsu, and Arashi with Leo missing. Leo was their leader (dubbed "ousama" (king) - also the name of my leo fictive. unrelated.) but he's just kinda. gone. so I think during this time Knights just stops performing and slips out of the limelight. Mama and Leo's World Tour happens, which is also kinda sad bc once Leo comes back and is asked abt it he says he was "abducted by aliens" and doesn't remember it. Also when Leo comes back he doesn't go straight back to Yumenosaki, he remains away from Knights and everyone for awhile. Madara is able to coax Leo into performing with him during the story Concerto and that's where Leo finally decides to go back to the stage with his Knights. except oopsie ! all judgement !

So. Leo goes back to Yumenosaki. By jumping in through a window. He does that a lot in the early stories btw idk if he knows what a door is /j BUT. I digress. So he meets Tsukasa at that point and i feel like just kinda brushes him off? and challenges Knights to a duel ! Judgement ! Where he claims that if Knights cannot defeat him then Knights doesn't deserve to exist anymore bc they've grown too weak in his absence. So Izumi is like "Leo-kun what the fuck" and Leo is just like ":3" and peaces out thru the window. Knights are unsurprisingly like "wtf are we meant to do we don't have Leo's songs" and Leo goes and gets his little temporary unit Knights Killers up and running with Eichi, Kuro, and Nazuna. eichi bc they're kinda friends despite everything that happened (and also leo knows that he's strong), and kuro and nazuna bc they're literally the closest people. good work leokun. So ! Knights Killers and Knights go to battle ! Knights begins losing bc Leo can compose on the spot and Eichi is noted to be a powerhouse, and with Leo and Eichi together they're basically unstoppable. During that story we also get this really soft moment of Ritsu (who's Knights strategist) apologizing to... Tsukasa? I think? maybe Izumi? for his strategies not being enough. but as Knights Killers wins, Leo has an "oh shit" moment and realizes that he can't just do whatever the hell he wants with Knights, bc Knights also belongs to the others :3 so Leo is like "yeah no we're not dissolving Knights" and rejoins as their ousama ! (also Knights Killers has a song called Crush of Judgement and its a BANGER go listen to it)

at this point Izumi and Leo have a very kinda. tense? relationship? they're not as disgustingly codependent anyhow. they're kinda distant. but they work on repairing their relationship over time ! izumi is less harsh on Leo and keeps a pretty close eye on him actually (they live together in Italy !) as a sort of way of making up for everything he did. and leo's just a silly goofy guy but is still a little haunted by his past. but the two are working on it.

anyway once they graduate and tsukasa becomes the new ousama, izumi goes to live in italy for. modelling things? i think? i don't really know tbh. and leo goes with bc where izumi goes leo follows and vice versa in most cases. sometime in the modern !! timeline leo is like. doing stuff for GFK (gatekeeper? godfather? idk. one of those dudes. don't ask me abt them i don't get it) and overworking himself and izumi is like "leokun PLEASE" and takes over his scheduling so he doesn't keep working himself to the bone. also leo does like a requiem or something? to see if kasa is worthy of being the leader? or something? gonna be real i do not really remember that story much.

so yeah izuleo were disgustingly codependent and now are more normal and also got gay married in florence. they told me themselves.

theyre absolutely sickening (/pos) i LOVE that omfg . congratulations to them on their italy wedding i fully believe you im sure thats canon . also feeling very sorry for this leo guy i want to hug him . also i listened to that song while reading this and its an absolute banger

#asks #seknots-izumimir #enstars

[gregoftom]

just the idea of tom reading his little history book and nero having a favourite slave boy and then preferring to marry him instead of his own wife and going. hm. this is so Me coded. this is so me greg and shiv

AND THEN TELLING THAT TO GREG'S FACE?

fucking Hell wambsgans

I bet he was expecting greg to look up at him all puppy dog wonder and awe 'you would?' and instead greg's like smiling like 'ha ha I think this is cute but this guy's crazyyy? uh' and tom's realising he could've kept that one to his fucking self dsfghhjf

but just.

hey greg I read this thing and you're my favourite little toy boy I want you in my Lap

insane for this!!!!

he can't control himself and he's simultaneously trying way too hard to gthdfjsk. born to be a romantic and not allowed to be. Yet.

LITERALLY like don't even Speak to me about the nero sporus thing bc i will not shut up about it. i think about it all the time and like, at least three times i pulled up some stuff from nero's wikipedia page/pontias pilate bc he had something to do with nero in the slightest way when s4 was coming out because i was thinking about how it could relate to them wrt how the story could go. i would not let that shit go [and lo, it appeared again in the finale! thank you jesse succession!!] and in the script; waffle time, sporus. was everything to me. and of course, in 3.09 when tom casually just DROPPED the sporus like, good grief.

YEAH GOD THAT HURTS, like, i'm not sure what tom was expecting rationally but his bpd ass was like fp fp fp my fp greg <3 he'll like that and then he'll say me too! i would do that too! let's do it right now! let's run away right now and jail skip! and when greg didn't do that, just responded with a nice smile like you said, 'ah that's sweet but this guy is fucken craaaazy' tom was like everybody should die actually including myself why did i say that why why whywhywhywhy

absolutely insane!!!! god. i love him sm and i want to protect him. born to be a romantic and not allowed to be FUCK :( that's so true ugh. the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that the whole nerosporus thing was kiiind of reciprocated more by greg in 3.09 and then in s4 greg was aaaaall over tom and then in the finale tom made this big ass romantic gesture and greg looked at him like THIS

and then smiled so big when the sticker was put on him. he was just so happy to be chosen this time. i. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#tomgreg #sorry the gif is small i stole it back as a sticker from my own dickord LMAOOOsjslkdldkjewd #i'll never fucking get over that look like what the hell was that. gay ass #tom was romantic and was ALLOWED to be finally at the end. it was accepted happily. sigh

[fuckthisshitimin]

Eat

"You don't cook."

It's all Sebastian can think to say, all Sebastian can think at all. His mind is a blur these days - nightmares, and the new meds, maybe? He can't remember when it started to feel like that, it's far from an all time low still, so he'll take it.

There's a heavy looking stewpot on the kitchen table, Styx had to move a couple (a dozen) empty coffee mugs to put it here, and he started cleaning another pot, taking a pack of uncooked rice out of his pocket like it's something absolutely normal to carry.

"Nah, I don't like to cook, not the same."

It's maybe one of the first things Sebastian had learnt about Styx. Mysterious, foul-mouthed Styx. A stray black cat that miraculously let him into its life.

"Then why are you cooking?"

"Well that's what best friends are for, right? Suffering mild inconveniences to make sure the other doesn't fucking die?"

Sebastian attempts a laugh, but it doesn't seem to be what Styx is going for. He rinses the pot, fills it with water, turns the hob on. He doesn't add salt. Sebastian always boils saltwater. Well, except for coffee. Which reminds him- "Bastian, how long have I know you?"

"Five years." He picks his current mug up from the ground, waltzes around Styx to refill it with coffee, put it in the microwave. He watches the mug rotating, sickly porcelain under the yellow light. He doesn't remember what he was doing before Styx came in. It's nearing eight in the morning, maybe he was off to bed.

"And do you know how old I am?"

"No. What, have you finally decided to tell me?"

"Dream on. But I've been around for decades before you were born, and chances are, I'm gonna be around for decades after you're gone. You're gonna die on me, mate."

Strange thought. Strange idea, to say it out loud. Sebastian knows Styx is old - too old. Like a vampire or something. He opens the microwave before it beeps, blows on the coffee to assess the temperature. Just a little more. Thirty seconds.

"And I made peace with that. Mostly. When you stormed into my life like the petulant nuisance you are I thought 'Oh, shit, I'm gonna follow this idiot till the day he dies'," seventeen seconds, "and so I know, I always knew. But I'm not gonna let you wilt away like a houseplant."

Five seconds, Sebastian takes the mug out. Blows on it. Just right. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're melting."

Again, a strange choice of words. Styx chooses strange words all the time. Again, Sebastian is tired. Sitting on his bed might be his best choice. He crashes there. "When was the last time you ate a full meal?"

"I dunno. Yesterday? Dinner?"

Instant noodles. It's a meal. It's literally a meal. It's not that long ago, and he had snacks, too. Lots of snacks. Too many? He didn't count. There were moments he had to eat something, and he did. Surely that is enough.

"You can't do this shit to me, Bastian. D' you know what it feels like, to be skinny?"

Of course he knows. His noodle arms are here for that. For all the time Sebastian has known him, Styx has never been particularly thin. His thighs are full, his arms, soft, his stomach round. He puts the stewpot on the second hob, curry, maybe. "I don't-"

"I've fucken been there, kay? And right now you don't see it, but I see it."

The water boils, and Styx pours the rice in it, before joining his best friend on the bed. Dirty laundry by his pillow. The duvet is out of the sheets. It's a bit of a mess, but Styx's place is messier, and Sebastian lights a cigarette. Misplaced satisfaction, like his ribs when he scratches his back. He remembers he was real skinny once, too, he remembers he liked how small his boobs got when he ate just a little, just a little less - now his chest is flat, it is not an issue. The ribs, still. A drop of left-over euphoria.

Styx opens his mouth wide, and Sebastian wonders if he got a new piercing for his tongue, but he points at two teeth. "Those are fake. The real ones died in my mouth because I was too fucked in the head to eat properly." He should have lowered the heat on the rice - and salt, he didn't put salt in. Sebastian doesn't get up to correct it. He looks at Styx's teeth.

"Being underweight hurts. You get used to it. Get used to being cold, all, the, bloody, time, you bruise more easily. Everything bruises. Sitting on the floor for too long. Leaning on the fucking wall. And you don't really notice, because it's normal now."

There are red and purple bruises all over Sebastian's knees. He didn't do anything too extreme. He bruises easily. Always has. Probably. He pulls the duvet towards him, covering his legs.

"Wounds take longer to heal, too. And you get sick. And you get used to it, too, I got used to my throat being sore like I got used to my knees aching after walking a fucking mile, and it took a decade to get my head out of this crap. You're smart, Bastian, like me. Don't think you're too smart to fall for this shit."

He is, still. He eats enough. He toes the line. He's not underweight - or barely. He is, just barely. He did the math. He can still work. His body is okay enough.

"Because that's not how it works. It's worse when you're smart, cause your mind is so goddamn good at tricking you, at arguing against the people telling you you're not okay, telling you you can toe the line between a disordered eating and an eating disorder just for science, as an experiment - but you're just getting worse."

Sebastian thinks it's maybe the longest he's ever heard Styx talk at once.

"Fucking around and finding out with your health is bullshit. I should be dead, Fen." It's been years since Styx called him that. He can't imagine a world where Styx is dead. No, no. "This is an experiment, but you're the subject, and the rot in your brain tries to convince you you're the scientist."

The smoke on Sebastian's tongue brings nausea. He doesn't like the feeling - scrutiny. Helplessness.

"Not eating is not gaining control. I promise. I swear to Christ."

It rings like a doom bell. It echoes in the empty pit of Sebastian's stomach, where guilt lives, allowing no roommate.

"Shit."

"Yeah. It's shit. I took some books, so I can stay a few days. But I'm not leaving until you eat."

Black eyes. Wet and shiny. Sebastian isn't hungry - and he knows Styx has a point. He knows there is a rot in his brain, that lies. It speaks with his voice, when it promises he'll eat later. It likes his bones bare. It recoils at the thought of getting better. Fatter. Happier. It recoils beneath Styx's eyes.

"Okay."

#sebastian fen #ed mention #cw eating problems #styx night shift #eoin macnamara #night shift #night shift podcast #nsp #watch how hard i can project my issues on my new blorbos #but yeah i don't have a scale but i think i've been losing weight /again/ #and it sucks and a friend called me out #and i had a real dinner tonight #remembering the part of me that likes the bones is NOT the part of me that wants to be happy #i want my body to be comfortable again