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#and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol
taeyungie · 7 months
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😺
#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet#i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean#he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today#and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this#its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back#but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason#he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much.#he would want that for all of us right#but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus#the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months.#thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time#and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol#my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most#when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most.#but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway#i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit#i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody#because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right#and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated.#i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do.#to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him#nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it#anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓#please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓#we have esch other and we will be okay 💓#sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓
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subskz · 9 months
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when you said you’d be posting part 5 shortly i wasn’t fully expecting to wake up to her. either way, i’ve read her and come with notes 😼
first, i have to begrudgingly admit, i was either tearing up or full on crying the whole time. thank you for that🤩
starting it up with a minho breakthrough moment… i love him. he’s so stupid but so minho. him admitting he was wrong, talking things out while still holding that same silly air lino always seems to have about him. i could practically hear his laugh when you wrote it in 💔🔨 he’s so beautiful. brb i need to stare at him for a second.
CHANGBIN 😭😭😭😭 💔🔨 gilc. i’ll say it til the day i die. he’s so…. 😖😖😖 this section made my tears fall fr. i understood the reader so well. i also have a tendency to assume people will react poorly/negatively to news, so i just avoid telling them altogether. pain, suffering 😪 so glad changbin reacted in his normal binnie way and brought light to the scene. i fucking love him
…………………. you know what’s next. once again, the way you write chan is fucking astounding. down to his silly little habits that make him unbelievably endearing. the sweater paws making a comeback? him rubbing his nose the same time reader tugs their ear?? they’re disgusting, i want what they have. chan hitting us with “i’m sorry” literally shut the fuck up!! fucking opened the flood gates, i didn’t stop crying for the rest of this scene. you wrote it so well. they finally had a conversation and it seems to have worked!! “five fingers, one for each of the days you’d spent apart” literally just shoot me next time 😭💔🔨
and the smut…. delicious 😛 starting it up with reader thinking about wanting to give him a bath, to wash his hair for him?? same queen, they get it. and then the body worship??!?? the PRAISE?!?!??! you really know the way to my heart. everything about this was perfect, immaculate, splendid, magnificent! when he giggled and hid behind his hands? nauseating. he’s perfect! 🤩
thank you once again for putting so much time and love into this series! you really hit it out of the park with this and it’s my new favorite ever. the way you wrote everyone was so endearing and so true to the way they present themselves irl and i’m amazed. so thank you 💖💖💖
last question, it’s very important! 😡 …..was berry included in the family that came in for his graduation??😇 -🐾
HAHA im gonna miss this trend of you waking up to find a new bb update! and of course the delight of getting to read ur wonderfully thoughtful notes ㅠ they’ve made me smile so much u have no idea!
TEARING UP/CRYING THE WHOLE TIME??? this was not what i had in mind when i said i’d make it up to you i’m very sorry for another installment of tears 😭 i hope some of them were at least out of happiness this time! and i hope u feel much better now that the dust has settled <3
starting it off w our favorite piece of work…lino thought he was clever he really did…but if there’s one thing that can interfere w his razor sharp intuition it’s the cosmically intertwined fates of channie n the reader hehe. i’m so glad u felt it stayed true to him! that’s the highest compliment to me esp when it comes to minho ♡ he is so beautiful…in true kitty fashion he gets away w his menace behavior bc he is simply too pretty
GILC!!!! 🥰 i just have to say it’s made me so happy how much u seem to have enjoyed binnie throughout bb bc he was my absolute favorite to write! it’s heartwarming to know the fun i had w him was also shared w u ^_^ he is truly the only one among these fools w a good head on his shoulders lmao i so badly wanted to give him a fully fleshed out scene w the reader reconciling w him but it was just…already so long 😭 and i completely understand ur connection to the reader in that sense i think it’s a very human trait! when u wanna ensure the happiness of ur loved ones ofc it’d be scary to be the bearer of bad news, esp if ur at the center of it </3 but a true friend like binnie cares abt ur happiness just as much! even if it means bearing the weight of some unpleasant things sometimes~
our channie ㅠㅠㅠㅠ this whole series was essentially a love letter of sorts to him and everyone out there who is like him, so to know that u liked channie’s portrayal and felt bb could capture even a fraction of how lovable he is in reality…that’s really everything to me ㅠ i’m so glad u caught that lil moment too HAHA they have left irreversible marks on each other! and yes…channie wears those sweater paws to feel safe but nothing is safer than when they are holding hands…they are disgusting -_-; that scene was probably the most difficult out of the entire series to write (along w the breakup scene LOL) so it’s a huge relief that u feel that way, thank you so much!! things aren’t perfect but the first step towards smth better has at least been made!
i was hoping that as an outspoken member of the bang christopher chan praise club you would enjoy that scene hehehe it was really the bare minimum of all the love and adoration and pleasure he deserves as u always say 💗💗💗 i’m so glad it was to ur liking!! channie hiding behind his hands is forever a weakness of mine…i think i’ll find a way to incorporate it into everything i write somehow
i wish i could put into words how giddy each msg you’ve sent over the course of this series has made me and how much you’ve encouraged me w your interest and positive energy!! i truly can’t thank you enough, it’s been such a joy to read ur thoughts and i’m just so grateful that you were here every step of the way! thank you from the bottom of my heart <3
the most important question of all…you KNOW she was!! i dont care how difficult it is to travel overseas w a dog, berry was absolutely there to cheer channie on w the rest of his family 🥰
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euphoricsunflowers · 3 years
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addict — lee minhyuk
a/n: yes this blog is on hiatus but i am weak and if someone asks for sub mx content no one else is gonna step up to do it so ig i gotta 😤😤 im mostly kidding anon i hope this helps you in your drought of minhyuk!!
word count: 1k
content: sub!minhyuk, dom!afab!reader, well i mean it’s not explicit but he does as reader to ride him, teasing, kissing, marking, riding le dick, ✨eye contact✨
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minhyuk heaves out a heavy sigh, relaxing into your hold as your hands cup his cheeks endearingly. you’ve got this smile on your face that leaves him stunned, wondering how he got so lucky to be yours. his hands rest at your hips as his eyes gaze so deeply into you that you’d think he was in a trace (maybe he was).
he adores every inch of you. even when his teasing words are a little more cruel than usual, he’s still just completely enamored. he watches you intently with his own little smile, only you in his vision and on his mind, “i should sit on your lap more often, minnie. you’re never this quiet.”
“you’re even prettier up close,” he murmurs, “let me take a second to admire you.”
“take as many seconds as you please, in fact, please do keep your eyes on me,” your words are soft yet commanding and his heart jumps when he notices out of his peripherals that you’re moving your hand closer to his crotch and suddenly you’re teasing him with light little scratches on his inner thigh that have him shivering, “good boy.”
he likes praise. for how much of a demon he could be, he loved praise far too much for his own good. it was often your best weapon. today he was so docile though, it would be cruel to overuse your best weapon.
so you setting for teasing, getting off his lap to sit in between his legs and lean in to kiss him. and minhyuk is anything but a boring partner, so he kisses back with fire. there’s an intense and passionate lover inside of him that just needs to be brought out. out he comes.
he bites your lip as he pulls away, smiling ear to ear as you both collect your breath. you hold his jaw with one hand so you can angle his face away, giving yourself perfect access to his pretty jawline and neck, “i think you have an obsession with giving me hickeys, lover. this is an addiction,” he says.
“but why would i not be an addict for you?” you ask, and he rolls his eyes, trying to be subtle about how he’s feeling you up but he can’t, “seems like i’m not the only one with a problem.”
“you’re talking a little too much,” he comments, making you chuckle dryly, “ride me, please?”
and suddenly you’re all too eager to go back to leaving hickeys on his neck to gleefully avoid his request. making him whine is life’s greatest pleasure. your lips are soft but your teeth are harsh, and every time you bite he whimpers and every time you suck on the wounds you leave he flinches. with those gorgeous reactions, who wouldn’t adore him?
“please? baby please- i’m so needy for you,” he pleas as you’re undoing the buttons on his shirt to kiss and mark his chest, “i’ll eat you out! you can sit on my face or i’ll get on my knees and i’ll make you feel so so good and then you can ride me and i know you like being on top of me just-”
“you’re talking a little too much, min,” you respond sassily, cutting him off with a smirk that makes his stomach flip as he gazes up at you, still unable to take his eyes off of you, “but you’re lucky I’m the nice one in this relationship.”
his eyes light up as you both undress as quickly as possible, both in a rush to get your hands and lips back on each other. his hands setting on your wait and yours wrap around the crook where his neck meets his shoulders, ready at any moment to turn things up a notch, and he’s all here for it.
you take his cock in your hand, giving him a lot of lazy but long strokes, enough to practically torment the poor guy, “beg for it.”
“please ride me, please. i want to be inside you so badly it’s killing me, please i’ll do anything, i’ll be your good boy just-“ you adjusting to finally sink down on his cock is enough to cut off his rambling, “o-oh, oh fuck-”
“my good boy,” you murmur as you take a deep breath, trying to acclimate to the feeling, but your focus is always on him, “you already look fucked out min, you’re so pretty.”
“i cant- i can’t help it. you feel so good around me,” he groans, his voice becoming weak when you start to move a little bit. just some soft rocking movements with one of your hands on your clit rubbing slowly.
his eyes flutter closed as he attempts to take it all in, but your hand on his cheek makes him wonder why and thus opens his eyes again, “you gotta keep your eyes on me. i wanna watch you fall apart.”
“it won’t take long-” he whimpers from a particularly harsh movement of your hips, but it makes you moans so he doesn’t really care. break his dick for all he cares, “i’m a mess for you.”
“i can… see that,” you whisper. you both fall a little silent in terms of words, but it’s all made up for in the close contact and moans and sighs and more. you can tell exactly how the other is feeling without a word.
the first tell is that his face scrunches up a bit when he gets close, so you could tell the feeling was really building when his face gave it all away. the second tell is the harsh grip on your waist, like he was holding onto his last bits of restraint, that would definitely lead to bruises if you didn’t stop you (you don’t). the final tell is the way he starts to fall apart, he shakes and he trembles.
his eyes close right before it hits him, but you’re sure to remind him that he’s gotta keep his eyes open and on you just in time to watch him fall apart, and i mean truly fall apart. he makes a face you’d see in porn or hentai, if only for the fact his eyes weren’t rolled back. he sticks his tongue out and his whole expression is just erotic. and you’re not too far behind him.
taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @multidreams-and-desires @hobilluvvr @vanillaknj @yr-domxfantasies @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9 @silencefavarchive @nct99 @bigkpopstan @monstaxdirtywonk @domreaderrecs @mochi-ficz and always feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist <3
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saintobio · 3 years
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i´ve been waiting for so long to leave an ask here :d. i really love sn and its one of my favorites series rn, i really adore how you put the characters and the amount of detail and work that you put in it is the best and makes me think that this would look in the big screen or something like that cuz ive never seen a plot so messy (in a good way haha i really love the twists and development to every single character including the ones that dont play a huge role into the novel) hope i can read++
++ more of it and see what is gonna be at the end !! <33 im glad i found this work ( ill tell u my final thoughts at the end of the series or at least at the end of the 1st season haha)
@japanesevenom said
saint holy shit it’s been a while since I’ve caught your inbox after reading a chapter and I’ve got to say…. I’m speechless I having nothing to give apart from tears and the broken pieces of my heart god damn I mean we knew it all from the start but I’m still really hurt by the revelation honestly you’re going to give me a heart condition it’s not healthy for my heart to hurt this much I feel like It’s caged in metal im crying
But oh my god I love sad desperate satoru it’s truly questionable how much I reread his reaction to the divorce announcement and now to this something about men when they’re begging for forgiveness and professing their love that hits different well I love u
Damn… at least we had lots of fluff on his birthday now we got to figure out custody of the baby my god
Anonymous said
This isn’t really an ask but thank you so much for writing Sincerely Not, I never knew a post that I happened to fall upon at 3 am one morning would take over about 4 months of my life. It’s crazy that it’s coming to an end and I’m excited to see what you have in store for us readers !! Take care 💛💛💛
Anonymous said
im nervous for sn2 omg >///< also tmi was listening to this song "i love you so - the walters" and reminded me of sn ❤️ thank you sm for the great series saint!!! i hope ur getting enough rest stay safe 💟
Anonymous said
i haven’t been able to interact or read the latest chapters because of uni but just wanted to check in! hope you’re doing good and that your days are well Saint!
-🦢
@natsukashii-ai said
Yayy!! finally! i just wanted to addressed your AMAZING work for “sincerely not” wow such a treat 💖 keep the good work sweetie ✌🏻
Anonymous said
i havent written an ask in so so so so long because i know you have a lot on your plate and didnt wanna add to it but i just want you to know that your works are absolutely amazing, ik you hear it from many people already but i just wanna say i appreciate you a whole lot. you stories are fucking amazing i dont know how many times I've reread all of them already. sincerely not keeps me going lately its something that i look forward to every week something that makes me wanna get up everyday 😭😭 i love u and ur works so much words arent enough!!
@sin-with-quiche said
I just want to say I'm a huge fan of this story. I love everything you put into it. The thought, the dedication, the love. I'm sure us readers can feel all of it. I recommended this to my friend, and she absolutely loves it too. We fangirl & discuss about the story! I swear to God, you have first class material to make this into an excellent drama! Do take care of yourself, and don't mind the negative remarks. I love you & your work so much!!! <3(btw I sent another ask long ago, hope u read it!)
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THANK YOUUUU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 sn1 is ending soon and i’m really grateful for the love u guys have given this series <33 i appreciate the feedback and support !!
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moonculus · 3 years
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terrible things ~ wilbur x reader
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angst
warnings: death, weapons, kissing (all non-descriptive)
pronouns: implied she/her
notes: inspired by the song, terrible things by mayday parade. i apologize in advance <3
☾ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾  ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ☽
that’s when i met your father, the boy of my dreams. the most beautiful man that i’d ever seen.
“mommy?”
you looked away from your coffee cup to meet your child’s bright eyes staring back at you.
“yes, honey?” you asked, smiling softly.
“what happened to my father?”
immediately, you felt your heart tighten. you had put off talking about your husband for as long as you possibly could. phil, techno, even tommy. everyone who cared for you worried about you. you had thrown yourself into caring for your child, barely even giving yourself time to feel.
“when you’re older, baby,” you tilted your head sympathetically.
the daughter clung to your leg, pouting up at you with puppy eyes. the same her father would make whenever he wanted a hug or kiss from you. you were never the disciplinarian. to be honest, neither of you were. you hoisted your daughter onto your lap, preparing yourself emotionally.
“well, since i was your age, i was convinced i would be a leader. no one could ever tell me i needed a husband, i thought boys were frivolous. while my friends would talk about crushes and cooties, i would talk about sword skills and the inner workings of our country. i never thought i’d need anyone. until i met your father…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you swung your wooden makeshift sword at a tree, grunting as it was stuck in the bark. you pulled at the handle, kicked at the stump, and eventually plopped down in the grass beside it, frustratedly.
“need some help?” a soft voice asked you.
a small boy your age crooked glasses and a yellow sweater he seemed to be quickly outgrowing.
“no. i can do it myself,” you huffed, brushing yourself off and attempting to pull the sword out again.
“my dad says it’s always best to accept help, even if you think you don’t deserve it.”
“my dad used to say if you can’t do things on your own, you shouldn’t do them at all.”
“your dad’s wrong,” the boy shrugged, leaning against the tree.
“do you mind?”
“i’m wilbur,” he grinned, sticking his hand out for you.
“i’m tired of this,” you folded your arms against your chest.
“well, tired of this. do you want to be friends?”
“my dad said friends make you weak,” you muttered, shifting from foot to foot.
“your dad’s wrong,” he repeated, smiling. “anyways. sometimes, everyone needs a knight in shining armor.”
with a swift hit to the handle in exactly the right place, the sword fell to the grass. your chest rose and fell as you glared at the weapon.
“thank you,” you mumbled.
“i’ll take a friendship as an apology.”
you rolled your eyes at him, a smile threatening to cross your face.
“fine.”
wilbur’s face lit up with a toothy smile.
“but,” you began, pointing a finger at him. “only because i owe you.”
“oh, of course,” he nodded, stifling a grin.
“y/n. my name. i’m y/n.”
“y/n,” he repeated. “i like it. i’ll see you around, y/n.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“and then what happened?”
your curious daughter that had been squirming in your lap, now settled, relaxing in your arms.
“well, a few years passed, and we became practically attached at the hip. inseparable…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i can tell by your eyes that you’re in love with me
“stay together- be safe!” phil called after the two of you, as if you would’ve gladly left the other alone.
“we will!” you chorused, already bolting away.
the once short and underdeveloped boy had grown into a lanky, somewhat scrawny teenager. stretch marks dotted his knees from an unexpected growth spurt at twelve. he had long since ditched his glasses, claiming that he was too mature for his crooked lenses. suspiciously, he had adopted the spectacles back once he had overheard a conversation between niki and yourself in which you told her you thought boys with glasses were cute.
the two of you flopped onto your backs at the same willow tree you had first met. it had become a memorial of the start of your friendship, a place you visited often.
clouds drifted through the sky, the both of you pointing out ones that looked like ducks and cats.
“d’ya ever think about your future?” wilbur asked you out of the blue.
“yeah. i’m gonna be a ruler. you can be one of my royal consorts,” you shrugged.
“what’s a consort?”
“i dunno, i heard my mom use it once. i suppose it’s like an advisor of some kind. you’re my second in command!”
“well, i’m fine being your second. as long as you don’t let it go to your head,” he nudged you, smiling.
you rolled your head to the side, meeting gazes with wil. his eyes searched your face, and for a second you were confused. you had barely even acknowledged the thought of crushes- you didn’t know what they felt like. later on, you could assume it felt a little like this.
the two of you leaned in, connecting your lips gently. neither of you had any clue what you were doing, it was both of your first kisses. as soon as it began, you pulled away. you didn’t miss the blush creeping into wilbur’s cheeks, just as he didn’t miss the smile you tried to hide behind your hand.
“i- crap. i li-“ wil stammered.
“i know.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“ew, cooties!”
“you’re right, cooties. that’s why you never kiss boys,” you pointed at your daughter.
“anyways, we loved each other. we had since the day we met, just were too young to know it…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
im asking you, please. you know that i love you, will you marry me?
“gods, you look beautiful, honey,” niki cooed as she placed flowers behind your ears.
“you think so?”
“i know so! wil is going to be speechless.”
“we haven’t been out for weeks, with all of the battle preparations,” you sighed, placing your face in your hand.
“don’t remind me. there you are, perfect!” niki smiled, squeezing your shoulders gently.
“thank you so much, i owe you.”
“oh, hush. you owe me nothing,” she dismissed. “now, hurry! he’s waiting.”
there was a calm breeze as you walked to your willow tree. the air smelled floral and familiar, like it was curated just for you. you heard the soft strum of a guitar, and your steps quickened.
a grin plastered itself across your face as you saw your love, surrounded by blue petals and lanterns, plucking the strings of his instrument. it was a scene out of a movie as you took a seat in front of him. he smiled at you softly, not speaking until the melody finished.
“i love you,” he began, clasping his hands around your own. “i have loved you since i’ve known you. you are my muse, my meaning. without you, i’d perish beyond means. i promise i’ll care for you when you’re sick, when you take up half of the bed, when you insist on midnight walks- i’ll take it all.”
by now, tears of happiness were falling down your face, you practically already nodding.
“y/n y/l/n,” he started, pulling out a dark ring.
you interrupted him, throwing your arms around his neck and all but tackling him to the ground.
“will- you- marry- me-“ he laughed in between kisses. “i’ll take that as a yes.”
“yes, yes. of course it’s a yes, you idiot. i love you,” you smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“but if you lived happily ever after, where’s dad?”
again, your heart felt pained. your eyes filled with tears as you squeezed your daughter’s hand.
“sometimes, it was just never meant to be…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please don’t be sad now, i really believe, you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
you were married as soon as possible, only your close friends and family invited to the wedding at the willow tree. a few months later, you were expecting. once you told wilbur, he was ecstatic. your family was growing. alas, the past few weeks had been strained. wil had grown further apart from you, feeling as if he were worlds away while he laid next to you. it all became clear, all the pieces clicking once the three of you stood in the final control room.
“wil, please. you’re going to have a child- you have me! you can’t do this, think of everyone,” you pleaded as phil held your arm.
“i’m sorry, my love. truly. i wish there were another way. i will never stop loving you. never,” he smiled sadly, his fingers dancing across the button that would annihilate your entire nation.
“it was never meant to be.”
phil held you close as you sobbed, his shouts at his son drowned out by the sounds of explosions. once the dust settled, you saw your boy, the same one who had always had the brightest eyes, dull and lifeless as he stared at you.
“i love you,” he mouthed as he nodded at phil.
you didn’t quite understand what was happening, not until it happened. your hand flew to your mouth to muffle your screams as the man’s blade plunged itself into it’s target. you scrambled to your lover, his soul already left his body. you cradled him in your arms as long as you could before his father had to carry you away from him.
from that day forward, you pledged to throw everything you could into daughter- the legacy of your late husband. you swore you’d never leave her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
don’t let it get you, i can’t bare to see the same happen to you.
“he’s gone?” she breathed out, tears falling down her little face.
“yes,” you sniffled, failing to hold back your own tears. “yes, he’s gone. but he loved us very much, even if he never got to meet you.”
your daughter clung to your shirt, not fully understanding everything. you would explain to her later more in depth, when she was old enough to understand.
“you were his unfinished symphony. his little melody,” you smiled down at her.
melody would learn to understand her father through stories from you, her uncles, and her grandfather. the two of you continued to visit his final resting place- the willow tree you had buried him at. for a while, it had only reminded you of misery, memories you’d never get to relive. but, ever since melody had been born, the tree was rejuvenated. it even seemed to sway as if it were listening when you spoke.
your wilbur, his love, and your baby, melody.
your symphony.
☾ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾  ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ☽
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firstknightss · 3 years
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GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???
[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi
GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.
imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’
he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”
And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.
He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”
and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)
And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.
Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)
so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.
Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”
and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)
THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]
Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.
So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.
As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)
[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]
Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....
....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.
And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.
And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.
Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.
They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.
And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.
Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”
Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus
[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]
Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.
Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.
Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.
They make it work.
The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.
(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)
Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.
Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.
And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.
He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD
Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.
“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)
“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”
Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.
“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)
Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.
“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”
Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.
“Yes I know, but what does this ha-“
“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”
“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?
This, this whole conversation was about literacy?
Not being gay?
Merlin was going to have a field day
“Sire?”
“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.
“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“
“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”
“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.
“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”
They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.
“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”
“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”
“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”
“Yes!”
“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.
“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.
The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.
Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.
They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.
And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.
Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.
“He’s burning up.”
“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.
It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.
He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.
He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.
Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.
He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.
Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.
Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....
“hælan beorn adl”
Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.
He was coming back.
And then the weight of everything hits him.
He was in Fucking Love.
“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.
“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.
He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.
“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.
“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,
“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.
“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”
Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.
“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”
“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”
“The man you love? Who’s tha-“
Realisation hits him like a brick.
Oh.
Oh.
“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.
“Of course dumbass.”
“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.
“mmm?”
Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.
And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.
“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.
“Is that what that whole talk was about???”
“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.
“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.
“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”
“Oh just, making sure this time.”
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rosesvioletshardy · 2 years
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because i’m back here are my thoughts on the games i didn’t lb for the time i’ve missed i watched some of the games and was following the others through twitter for the rest
03/26
bos/nyi: matinees (derogatory), bruins still suck and all 3 goals were from minnesota men
sens/cats: i don’t go here at all but panthers still suck and would rather kms than be a fan idc if g is there and would rather be a sens fan
flames/oilers: still hate the oilers, mike smith still sucks, johnny i fucking love you hope they re-sign you soon king you keep this team alive, marky i’m sorry you don’t have good defense sometimes and didn’t deserve to get scored on at all also flames own the oilers and the refs sucked the entire game and were oilers fans (nurse was literally holding down mang the last minute of the play and refs didn’t notice, gave matty the penalty when smith punched him in the head while he was in a headlock too and were blind to multiple others that shouldve been oilers penalties)
canes/blues: still love the canes and hate md13 & tda77 thank god for kk and that 7-2 W especially on brady and svech’s birthdays
03/27
nyi/tbl: matinees (derogatory), still hate tampa and they don’t deserve any respect at all, a bunch of missed calls,
phi/nsh: watched it after work, i hate roman josi with a burning passion, they always win then i don’t watch + joel is monicaphobic because he always scores when i don’t watch, also stop losing leads challenge and help your goalie out ffs
avs/min: watched some of it and finished listening at work. inconsistent reffing and were so many no call on the the wild but that’s not shocking they always favor them. truly can’t stand the wild idc if tyson is there, i can’t stand them. it was fully refs vs avs that entire game but good job for nate for standing up for mikko, otherwise fuck the wild they don’t deserve any rights at all
leafs/p*nthers: don’t go here but i hate the panthers and them losing makes me happy
3/28
canes/c*ps: truly one of their best games. fuck everyone on the caps especially tjo77, ao8, and tw43 as well as le20 for the hit on kk. svech noted goon™️, freddie is still hot. and capitals still suck, tw43 acts like a child, and i will never respect them or anyone on that team ever
3/29
isles/cbj: i hope ilya is okay, they actually played decent shocking.
flyers/w*ld: FUCK THE W*LD, as you can tell i still hate the wild and they don’t deserve any happiness, idc if he’s on the team, flyers are still falling apart. happy bday sanny :), i hope the wild don’t have any happiness and choke in playoffs. truly hated the bias towards the w*ld like ???? m*f is on my shitlist, baby flyer noah deserves everything, ref’s were 100% w*ld fans. thank you to bee for drawing a penalty for the frosty goal tho :)
avs/flames: i don’t like it when my teams play against each other. both teams actually played really well. tho i’m still not gonna lb when 2 of them play against each other. refs stop making soft ass calls challenge no wonder no one respects the refs
canes/t*mpa: i still hate tampa and they deserve absolutely no respect, i’m sorry it was national broadcast bc we all know they’re going to be biased towards t🤢l, and they still don’t deserve any rights, canes i’m sorry
3/31
isles/cbj: KEEP ZACH/MAT/OLIVER TOGETHER BAROLD! also find it funny both aho’s in the nhl scored at the same time. that old dudes opinion doesn’t matter at that one point in the 1st period like shut up already glad the mute button exists. (i know i’m talking about isles game but still — but avs will get past 1st & 2nd round just be mad they’re one of the best teams and panthers suck i hope they have no happiness). wasn’t shocking they gave up the lead they’re the isles of course. OLIVER MY BELOVED IM SO HAPPY YOU GOT A GOAL IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER 💞💕❤️‍🔥💘💖 PLUS PALMS GOT A GOAL AND IT FINALLY COUNTED
canes/habs: (insert the aho comment above here too). they played really went especially after playing the lightning so there’s. but habs are last in the league so it wasn’t shocking to see the canes win this game but FREDDIE SHUTOUT
avs/sharks: i’m begging the avs to actually score in the first period again im bored but it’s so nice to have nate back NEWY MY BELOVED also sharks were ugly for challenging it like it was clean and no interference y’all are stupid. DILF GOAL HELMS MY BELOVED i love it when helms scores he deserves it MIKKO MY BELOVED !!! NAZ AND EJ 2 POINT NIGHT !! BURKY MY SWEET BOY
flames/kings: upset haven’t had a marky shutout in a while :( BUT JOHNNY MY BELOVED SAID HES NOT GONNA LET THE KINGS GET ONE. YOU LET ERIK GUDBRANSON SCORE ON YOU ??? FOLD THE FRANCHISE. KINGS ARE STILL UGLY AND FLAMES ARE STILL FIRST IN PACIFIC
h*wks/p*thers: i hate both teams but panthers can choke more and again wish hell upon them and they don’t deserve any happiness and also gudas can fuck right off no wonder i hated him but i hate him even more now on that team they can all fuck off
pens/w*ld: y’all know i hate the pens because i’m a flyers fan BUT THE WILD FINALLY LOST AND THE PENS DID THAT FOR ME
4/01
nyi/nyr: (completely forgot to do it during the game so i did it after) MAT BARZAL 300th POINT AND A GOAL ??? I LOVE THAT ! 2 DILF GOALS ??? THEY DID THAT FOR ME ! ALSO ANDERS ??? FIGHTING ??? HELLO ???? how does this team beat the rangers but lose to a team like montreal i’ll never understand
4/02
avs/pit: nate vs his bestie </3. nate and geno talking about who sid loves more. darcy kuemper my beloved i’m sorry your team stresses you out and you and frankie both save their asses every game <3. MIKKO MY BELOVED !!! NEWY IS MICD ! the wrong nova scotian scored gross. SINNER BOY MY BELOVED. we got burky curling again. refs hate the avs but what else is new. CONTENT KING MY BELOVED <3. HELMS IS INNOCENT ITS HIS 800th GAME FREE HIM!! avs vs getting an en goal . AVS WIN IN REG MY BELOVED
canes/w*ld: didn’t watch much of the game because i was watching flyers but i still hate minnesota and they don’t deserve any right at all. FREDDIE MY BELOVED <333 m*f still sucks and i hate him wish he was still with the h*wks and suffering gross ugly game i don’t care about tyson anymore so his tag is blocked btw. WHICHEVER WILDS PLAYER MADE TURBO BLEED , IM IN YOUR WALLS 🔪 NO SHUTOUT FOR MAF IKTR TURBO MY BELOVED <333 it’s still fuck the wild i could care less for them and hope they have a first round exit
flyers/l*fs: it’s still fuck the leafs and fuck am34 and everyone on that team. toronto still sucks and i wish them no happiness. idk how some people find am34 attractive. finally yandle gets benched ive been saying it since they acquired him and he should’ve stayed whatever team he came from. BABY FLYERS FIRST NHL GAME <3333 LET ZACK FIGHT 🔪 CARTER THOSE SAVES HOLY SHIT ! KEVIN MY BELOVED !! leafs you suck x2! DRAKES DAD MY BELOVED !!! YOU LET FUCKING 6 HEAD SCORE ??? FUCK OFF
flames/blues: this team vs giving marky another shutout. um if im honest i stopped watch after the first period because i got hella depressed like usual and also logged off twitter but i was still getting notifs so RITCHIE ????JOHNNY MY BELOVED NOAH MY BELOVED DUBEY MY BELOVED blues i still hate you and you suck
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themaninflannel · 3 years
Text
Never be the same (Snapshots pt 4)
Summary: the time leading up to dean being dragged to hell. Y/N and Dean are so in denial about ~certain things~
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: grief disguised as anger, yelling, angst
AN: hey yall its been a WHILE since I wrote anything but I do plan on continuing this series as well as maybe other things
part 1 part 2 part 3
masterlist
I had been traveling with the boys for almost two years when everything changed. Dean sold his soul to save Sam, and he got one year. One freaking year. Don’t get me wrong I understand why he did it and honestly I might have done the same thing, but I am not the kind of person the world will miss. Dean is. He is the kind of man whose death will be felt by more than just the people who knew him. And I was PISSED.
“Dean what the fuck! You sold your soul for ONE FUCKING YEAR?!”
“NO. I did it for Sam. I couldn’t live with him being dead!”
“Did you ever think about the fact that maybe JUST MAYBE we couldn’t live with you being dead?”
“Ha, thats not what i’m worried about,” he turned his back around on me, “im sure you guys will be fine,”
“There you go again! Of course we would be worried! We’re your family, Dean.”
This was the conversation that we kept having with Dean. Eventually we stopped yelling at him for it and started doing our best to make sure he could have the best year possible. He deserved that, whether or not he thought so. This meant a lot of shitty bars and games of pool. And Women.
We were in a roadhouse, the kind where the floor smells like beer and theres only like three people there-including the bartender. Dean saw a sign that said ‘burgers and beer’ and just had to pull over and try it. He had been doing that more and more the closer that we got to the big day.
“Ugh dean come on,” Sam groaned, “i get heart problems just by looking at this place,”
“Oh Sammy! Im sure we can find you some of that rabbit food you like so much,” Dean teased, slapping Sam in the chest as he got out of the car.
“Common, it makes him happy,'' I said shrugged. We got out of the car and followed dean into the bar. He didnt seem to be bothered by the lack of people, instead he just walked straight to the bar. Unfortunately for dean, there was a lack of women in this particular bar and he was stuck with us.
“Beers all around!” dean handed us each a bottle and followed sam over to the pool table.
After about three games and quite a few more drinks, we headed back to the car. I had stayed mostly sober so that dean could drink all he wanted, at some point i had snaked his keys out of his pocket. He never would have given them to me without a fight- even if he had been sober. Sam got him into the back seat and i set off in search of a half decent motel for us to spend the night in.
“A month left. And were no where closer to finding Lilith than we were three months ago,” Sam said when it was clear that Dean was asleep.
“Well get there. Lilith has to be looking for us, so its only a matter of time”
“We should head back to Bobby’s soon and go over all of the books again” sam suggested. We kept talking until i pulled off towards a rest stop with a motel.
I opened the door and Sam plopped dean down on the bed closest to the door.
“Im gonna grab a shower and wash this dive smell off,” i headed towards the bathroom.
I turned on the water as hot as it would go and just stood under it. It was the first time in a few days i had to truly relax, we had back to back hunts for the last week and that meant being constantly alert. Thus, it was no surprise that the first time I had to relax i got hit with a wave of grief and exhaustion. I collapsed on the shower floor and cried, i cried for dean and his deal, I cried for Sam who was about to lose his brother, and i cried for me because i was gonna loose my best friend, the most important person in the world to me. By the time I was able to breath again the water had gone cold.
When I walked out of the bathroom in my PJs Sam had crashed in the other bed, leaving me to crawl in next to Dean. This was how we ended up most nights, me and Dean and then sam either in the next bed or the next room. This was as close to a real partnership as i had ever had, and it wasnt even the real thing. We hadnt slept together after that second time, but i was gonna take everything i could before he was gone.
Deans POV
Everyday is closer to my own personal doomsday. But I already feel like im in hell, seeing Sammy’s face fall everytime he looks at me is hell. Seeing Y/N try to keep me at arms length in the day but crawl under shitty motel covers and hold me at night. I pretend that I let it happen for her, but thats not true. Not that she or Sammy needs to know that. They dont need to know im scared, that would put too much on their shoulders. They dont need that. I can see how much they are trying to put on a good face for me and I would hate if I was the one that ruined that for them.
I can tell its close. I can feel Hell laying its claim on my soul. WI just hope that the last thing I see before I get dragged to hell will be Y/N’s face. I cant burden her with how I feel when im about to die. I just cant see the disgust on her face and then die. So i keep it to myself. We know where Lilith is, its only a matter of time before we go looking for her. Or they go looking for her.
Y/Ns POV
Hes just laying there, the hellhounds tore apart his chest and now hes just laying there. But its not him. Not anymore. Now hes just a shell, his final words frozen on his face. What do we do now? What do I do now? I left behind my life to hunt with him, and Sam, and now hes gone.
Sam is angry. Like burn the world down kill anything that fucks with him angry. And Bobby, Bobby is broken. Like drink the days away broken. I cant help Sam, he wont let me and I dont have it in me to fight with him right now. And maybe I cant help Bobby, but I can at least be there with him and offer a shoulder for when he does let me help.
-----four months later-----
I haven't seen Sam since we burned Deans body, but i've been helping Bobby as best he’ll let me. Most days that meant spending the day following him around with some food trying to get him to consume something that isn't booze and the nights trying to get him to put down the books and go to sleep. And when that inevitably fails I cover him with a blanket and turn the lights off before I crash on the couch.
Its been almost four months since I held Deans lifeless body in my arms. Since I saw the hell hounds tear him apart. Since I realized I would never be the same without him.
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worldwidemochiguy · 4 years
Text
expectation ≠ reality (18+)
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When you first met Jungkook, he was so kind, with wide eyes and a sweet smile, but soon enough he dragged you into a tumultuous marriage where you were barely allowed to draw breath on your own. But, when you meet Taehyung, the cute delivery boy with blond hair and a penchant for flirting, you start to wonder if you’ve found your second chance.
Masterlist
Warnings: Yandere behaviour, possessive behaviour, slight dub-con, graphic penetrative sex, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A MINOR pls im not tryna get arrested or anything
Word Count: 4K 
a/n: thanks to @gucieguciekook​ for requesting !! hope u enjoy lol <3
Expectation ≠ Reality
You have had enough.
From the moment you agreed to marry him, Jungkook had been getting steadily worse and worse. He had always been possessive to a fault, but you mistakenly saw it as a sign he truly cared and treasured you. You cooed over his obsession with littering hickeys all over your neck, blushed when he called you ‘Mine. Only mine.’ When he asked you to move in way too quickly, you thought it was a sign he was committed to your relationship.
How wrong you were.
Not that he isn’t committed, of course. God, if there was ever a word to describe Jeon Jungkook, it was committed. He is obsessed with you. He slowly started cutting you off from the outside world, persuading you to stay in when your friends invited you out, and convincing you they were terrible people when they inevitably stopped interacting with you. You had cut out everyone else in your life because of him. 
Your parents:
babe, they don’t approve of our relationship because they don’t want you to be happy with your own life, they want to control you and treat you like a kid. you don’t need them anyway, you have me. 
Your coworkers:
i called in sick for you today, babe. you don’t need to go there anymore, i have more than enough money for the both of us. 
Even your pet:
your cat? oh, i’m sorry baby, she got hit by a car. no, don’t cry, baby, now you can give all of your attention to me instead of that rancid furball. 
Jungkook had isolated you and exhausted you to the point where you agreed to marry him, convinced it could not make your life any worse. 
Again, you were wrong. 
With his ring on now your finger, Jungkook is even more assured of his ownership of you. You are no longer allowed to cook or go into the garden, both deemed as dangerous activities where you could somehow be harmed by a vegetable peeler, or maybe grass cuttings. You have no access to the internet, and the only books you are permitted to read are simple, dull books with no plot or dusty old historical text books, obviously the only things Jungkook is certain wouldn’t give you ‘silly ideas to confuse your pretty little head.’ 
~~~~
“Jungkook,” You murmur, voice muffled as he presses your face into the pillow.
“Yeah, baby, say my name just like that.” He grunts, attempting to tug off your skirt with one hand while the other is fisted in your hair. You roll your eyes and shift your weight so he can take it off properly. After he had separately ripped all your pants at some point in his haste to take them off you, you had realised it was simply easier to wear something less finicky.
As soon your lower half is bared for him, he starts running his large palms greedily over your skin, for his own benefit rather than yours.
“Fuck, look at you.” He mutters, before digging a thumb into a bruise he had left on your ass. You yelp and he chuckles lowly behind you. Just as you expect, he presses firmly on the bruise and you clench your teeth, burying your nails in your palms and refusing to make a noise. He waits for a second, but you remain stubbornly silent. 
“Huh,” he says, “I guess baby’s pain threshold has risen a bit, yeah?” He strokes a possessive hand between your shoulder blades and you repress a shiver, before he loops his arm around you and lifts you onto your hands and knees.
“I guess I’ll just have to fuck you harder then.” He resolves, before shoving himself into you roughly.
Jungkook is not small, putting it lightly, though you hate to afford any kind of praise to that bastard. He is long, and thick, and you really hadn’t been very turned on at all, just letting him do what he wanted so that he’d leave you alone, so you don’t blame yourself too much when a scream bursts out of your lips. You can barely hear his smug laugh behind you over the burning sensation in your core. He doesn’t give you any time at all to adjust, roughly pumping himself in and out as you try to hold in your whimpers.
“So fucking tight, baby.” He grunts in your ear, punctuating his words with harsh slaps against your thigh, “You sure you can handle my cock?” This is his offer: Admit that I’m hurting you, admit that you’re weak and at my mercy, and I’ll stop. That’s all you have to do.
You clench your teeth and press your face into the pillow again.
He sighs behind you, though you can tell he’s quietly pleased, before pulling out of you and walking away. Him yanking out and leaving you roughly stretched and exposed to the cold air is almost as painful as when he shoved into you in the first place, and when he returns you resent yourself for feeling the slightest hint of relief. 
He is carrying a bottle of lube, normally used for when he decides he wants to fuck your ass instead. You tense up, preparing to swallow your pride and beg him not to — it’s been a while and you’re not sure you can take the pain — but he senses your fear and smirks.
“Don’t worry baby, I’m just gonna make it a bit easier for you.” As he speaks, he’s slicking up his cock and soon enough he’s getting back up on his knees and taking ahold of your hips, pushing himself in slightly gentler this time. 
The coolness of the gel soothes — but doesn’t eradicate — the burn and Jungkook has started to move in long, rolling strokes inside you that are almost pleasant. 
“See, baby?” Jungkook coos as his hands move around to stroke your stomach, “I don’t want to hurt you, you have to know that. I hate hurting you, but you never tell me to stop. You have to know your limits, baby girl. You’re just not strong enough.”
His words — though patronising, and awful, and the kind of thing that make you want to whack him in the neck with one of those massive historical tomes he provides you — are spoken in that soft, Jungkook tone that he used to make you fall in love with him. It reminds you of those days when he was just Kookie, your cute study partner with a bunny smile and a pretty singing voice and broad muscly shoulders that flushed along with the rest of his body when you complimented him.
The Jungkook that you know him as now — the one swiftly bringing you to a reluctant and resentful orgasm — is the opposite of soft. He is rough and impulsive and controlling and you honestly fear what would happen if you tried to ask him for a divorce. He wouldn’t let you go, probably. He’d just laugh at you, and then shove you down and fuck you to make you remember who you really belonged to, like he is doing now.
You try to contain your pants as Jungkook starts a series of staccato thrusts. You are sure Jungkook would hear you, even over the obscene sound of his hips slapping into the back of your thighs, and would be obnoxiously proud about it for the next month. He would already be smug enough having made you come, which you have given up trying to stave off because Jungkook — damn him — is really good at fucking you until you can’t remember your own name. 
He reaches around to pinch your clit harshly and you decide that now is as good a time as any to give up your last remaining vestiges of pride. You come with a piercing whine, clenching around him rhythmically until his hips stutter and you feel the unpleasant sensation of warmth spilling into you. He doesn’t stop, pumping every last drop into you and then dropping on top of you, pinning your body to the mattress. 
After a while he rearranges himself so that he is spooning you, arms wrapped stiflingly tight around your waist, and his now-flaccid cock still tucked inside you. You grimace. Jungkook had always fallen fast asleep after sex, but now you are wide awake, hyperaware as he snores behind you. You don’t know what you’ve become. You hate him. But sometimes he says things that make you wish he wasn’t a monster, that make you wish he was the boy with soft smiles and expressive eyes that you had fallen in love with. You live for the resurgences of that humanity, because it is the only thing you have to look forward to, apart from the eventual day when Jungkook finally snaps and kills you.
~~~~
“Jungkook,” you say over breakfast, and he looks up with his cheeks full of pancake.
“Yes, my angel?” He asks, eyes twinkling — he loves when you say his name — and your breath catches, and for a second everything is perfect and you are having breakfast across from a boy who loves you more than anything. And then you see the annoyed glint in his eye — you hadn’t immediately answered his question — and you come crashing back to bitter reality. 
“I-” You start, then stop, unsure of how to phrase the question into a compliment, that way Jungkook is more likely to give you what you want.
“Say what you want to say, baby. You know how I hate to be kept waiting…” He gives you a shark’s smile. 
“I… I really loved all the books you gave me.” You tell him, making sure your voice is exactly the correct tone of gushing admiration.
“Really?” He replies, a pleased expression on his face as he strokes your hair back gently.
“Yes, and I- I was wondering if maybe… I could have some more?” 
His hand drifts down to rest at the hollow of your throat. It curls slightly.
“N-not that I’m not grateful-” You stammer, “B-But… I liked them all so much I read them too quickly, and now I have nothing else to do with you’re gone.” You end the statement with a playful pout, and you feel your self-loathing level up a notch. 
“Baby, you have to remember to take your time with things like that.” Jungkook grinned, standing up and getting his briefcase. You move to the door where you are supposed to administer a farewell kiss before he goes to work, just like always. 
He smiles, satisfied, before looking sideways slightly so you can get up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He reaches around to squeeze your ass quickly, smirking when you squeak in shock.
“Don’t be greedy baby, take what you’re given.” He tosses a ‘Love you!’ over his shoulder as he goes, and when you call it back the words taste sour on your tongue. You wonder if you had ever uttered those words sincerely. 
~~~~
You had been thinking Jungkook had forgotten about your request for books, so when the doorbell rings at six o clock and you answer it to see a cute delivery boy with a bundle of books tucked under his arm, you are surprised to say the least. 
“D-Delivery for Jeon Jungkook?” He stutters, and you had been expecting him to have a slightly high, nervous voice so the deep, thick drawl shocks you in more ways than one. You can feel yourself melt just looking at him. His eyes are so… innocent, just like Jungkook’s when you first saw him. His nose cutely scrunches as his blond hair — longer than Jungkook’s — falls in soft clumps over his eyes. He huffs a lopsided breath and the light strands flutter about momentarily, before settling back just where they were. You think you’ve fallen in love.
You realise you’ve been staring at him this entire time, but to be fair, he has been staring right back, and you feel yourself become flustered.
“Uh, yeah, that’s me. That’s my package.”
“Sorry ma’am,” He starts in his honey voice, before grinning. He seems to gain confidence due to your flustered state. “-but this package is addressed to a Mr Jeon Jungkook, and you certainly don’t look like a ‘Mr’.” He mutters as his eyes drag up and down your form. You are only in your nightie — Jungkook always likes it when you wear pretty, flimsy things — and this stranger’s gaze is making you blush in a way you know Jungkook wouldn’t be happy about.
“Yeah, that’s… uh, that’s my husband. Jeon Jungkook.”
“Your husband, huh?” The delivery boy does not seem put off by the mention of a husband, in fact, he seems almost spurred on by it. “And where is Mr Jeon Jungkook right now?”
“He’s working late. He would normally be back by now but he called and said he’s spending the night at the office.”
“Working late, huh?” The delivery boy repeats in that cocky drawl, and oddly enough, it reminds you of Jungkook. “You know, if I had a wife like you waiting for me to come home, I don’t know if I’d even make it out of bed long enough to go to work in the morning, let alone stay there overnight.” 
Your eyes widen as your cheeks darken, and his open, bright laughter is the nicest thing you’ve heard in months.
“What happened to the nervous delivery boy?” You spluttered indignantly, and his laughing slowed down, though his eyes were still twinkling. Just like Jungkook’s used to do.
“He relaxed when he realised you were just as affected by him as he was by you.”
“Who says I’m affected by you?” You ask boldly, and then immediately retreat a step when he moves towards you. 
“You’re giving yourself away, sweetheart.” He smirks, before advancing another step into your home. “You know… empty house… husband at work… it seems a waste not to use this opportunity.” He waggles his eyebrows at you, and you scoff, forcing him back with both hands until he is outside the door again. He lets you push him with a brow raised lazily.
“That sounded like a line from a bad porno, and I’m pretty sure Jungkook would literally kill me if he found out.” You fake a laugh, covering up your very real and valid fear that Jungkook would actually kill you.
“Jungkook’s the possessive type, huh?” 
Yes, you scream internally.
“Well, I’m pretty sure no husband would like delivery boys sleeping with their wives.”
“What about delivery boys visiting their wives during the day?”
You pause, hands floating in midair, about to take the parcel out of the delivery boy’s hands.
“Huh?”
“I could come around in the day while your husband’s at work-” He sped up when you raised your brows, “-not to do anything, or at least, anything that you’re uncomfortable with, but just to talk. I can tell you’re lonely.” You scoff and roll your eyes, ignoring the fact that he’s absolutely correct. You turn back to him, ready to decline his offer, when you see his puppy eyes. Your resolve crumbles.
“I don’t know,” You had no way of telling what punishments Jungkook would submit you to if he found out. He didn’t even let you talk to your parents, so you could hardly imagine he’d be pleased with you chatting to young, attractive men while alone at your house.
“Come on!” The delivery boy wheedled. “He’d never know. He’s practically asking for it, he leaves you alone day after day, all you have for company are these stupid books!” A dismissive gesture to the collection of Austen, Dickens and Shakespeare you are carrying. “Aren’t you bored? Don’t you want a little excitement?”
You tiredly fumble around for an excuse.
“I don’t even know your name.”
“My name’s Taehyung.” He introduces himself promptly. “I’d like to visit you tomorrow at lunch time, if that’s alright.”
“You sure you don’t have a delivery then?” You ask hopefully.
“I don’t.”
You release a weary sigh.
“You’re going to come no matter what I say, aren’t you?” He responds with a blinding grin.
“I love that we’re learning things about each other! You can already anticipate my actions,” He starts listing off ‘facts’ on his fingers, “you know my name, I know you’re trapped in an unsatisfying marriage-”
“I’ll see you tomorrow Taehyung.” You shut the door firmly, cutting him off.
You hear a muffled ‘can’t wait!’ from the other side of the door and if you happen to blush and giggle like a lovesick schoolgirl it doesn’t matter because no one else is there and therefore it cannot be proved.
~~~~
Taehyung starts paying you regular visits. He keeps up his job obligations even when he’s off the clock, bringing you food that Jungkook wouldn’t let you eat, newspapers since Jungkook doesn’t let you know what was going on in the outside world, and even snapshots of his day. 
Taehyung is an aspiring photographer. He has a small apartment outside of the city and an obsession with strawberries and a dog called Yeontan. He has a life, a life that you are desperately beginning to yearn for. Taehyung tells you once that he wishes he could take a photo of you outside, because he knows this perfect spot — a field full of wildflowers and sunshine that would compliment your beauty perfectly — and you burst into tears. 
You tell him, as he rocks you gently in his arms, that you are trapped by Jungkook. That you hate your husband more than anything. That you can’t remember the last time you felt the sun on your skin. And so, quietly, carefully, the two of you begin to plot.
It is not as simple as calling the police. Jungkook has enough money that there is no crime he cannot buy his way out of, no officer he cannot bribe into submission. No, you have to disappear completely. You begin passing along your possessions to Taehyung so he can take them back to his place, gradually, so that Jungkook doesn’t notice you are withdrawing from his life one pair of shoes at a time. 
You daren’t risk taking any money of Jungkook, but Taehyung tells you it isn’t a problem, which is slightly strange since you know Taehyung must have quit his delivery boy job so that he could see you every day, and surely he could do with some extra cash. You tell yourself it’s sweet that he doesn’t care about material things, he just cares about you.
“What are these?” Jungkook asks one morning, when he is greeted not with eggs sunny side up and a kiss, but a stack of papers.
“A divorce contract.” You tell him, trying to ignore the waver in your voice. He only raises an eyebrow at you, and you blanch.
You had been expecting yelling, threats, maybe even violence. Taehyung had begged you to just leave without a trace, and abandon Jungkook to his own horrid life of loneliness, but you just can’t do that, even if it is the safer option. There is still a small, pathetic part of you that clings to the idea of Kookie, the boy with wire-rimmed glasses and carefree smiles who always accepted your help with questions he couldn’t answer. Even though you know that side of him is now long-dead, if it ever even existed in the first place.
However, Jungkook is currently subverting all of your expectations. He sits there calmly, leafing through the papers.
“These don’t make any sense.” He remarks. You attempt to snatch them back, but he holds them out of your reach.
“Yes, well, I wasn’t really expecting you to read them.” You reply, embarrassed. The fake contract had been your idea, a way of telling Jungkook you wanted a divorce without actually saying the words. Of course, you had expected him to fling them into the fire, or something equally as dramatic, not read through them carefully and snort at all the typos. 
“I understand.” He declares eventually. “You want my attention, so you’re pretending that you want to leave me. Very funny, baby.”
“That’s not true!” You burst out, cheeks burning. “I am leaving you, divorce contract or not.” 
“Hush, baby, you know I don’t like it when you lie.” Jungkook purrs, his eyes burning dangerously.
“I don’t care what you like anymore, Jungkook.” You respond, suddenly furious, “I’ve spent so many years as your wife, being terrified by you, being controlled and miserable. Now I’ve got Taehyung, and I’m finally happy! I love him, Jungkook, not you. I’m leaving.” 
You turn away and storm to the door, but hesitate when you hear Jungkook chuckle.
“If you think you are liberating yourself by going to Kim Taehyung… you are wrong, baby.” 
“H-How do you know his family name?” You ask, fear starting to invade your mind.
“I know a lot of things about Mr Kim,” Jungkook spits, and his anger starts to bleed through. “He is not who you think he is, baby. Are you sure you want to go?” His patronising tone is the last straw for you. 
“I’d rather die than stay here with you.”
“Who knows, baby, Mr Kim might just fulfil your wish.” You blanch again, hesitating with your hand on the lock, a breath away from freedom.
“Y-You’re just trying to scare me.” You stutter, and you hear him sigh behind you.
“No, baby, I’m trying to warn you, but you insist on being so, so dumb. I don’t like to see you hurt, remember? But, if this will teach you a lesson about how lucky you are to have me, I guess I’ll have to let you go. Just remember, baby, when you’re with him and it’s not all you expect it to be, I will be coming for you.” As he speaks, he rises from his seat and moves across the room until he is right behind you, his breath ghosting on the back of your neck as you stubbornly refuse to turn, hand still poised on the latch.
“I’m not coming back.” You whisper, and you feel a huff of laughter against your neck.
“No, baby, I’ll rescue you, and take you back. I promise, you’ll be counting the days until you’re in my arms again.”
~~~~
Jungkook watches from the window as your harried form disappears into the distance. Cursing softly to himself, he turns on his phone and pulls up a number he is loathe to possess. 
“So, she left you, huh?” A cocky voice drawls across the line.
“Shut it, Kim.” Jungkook snaps, “She’s still my wife, she still belongs to me.”
“Oh? You didn’t sign the divorce papers?”
“Yes, very funny by the way, Kim. ‘I hereby announce that Kim Taehyung has been our mother’s favourite from the moment of his conception.’ You should’ve become a comic instead of a criminal.” Jungkook reads a line from the fake files. 
“Well, I could say the same to you, baby brother, allowing your wife to leave you like this. It’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in years.”
“Half-brother.” Jungkook growls. “And she hasn’t left me.”
“The tracker I planted on her begs to differ.”
“She’s just…” Jungkook huffs, “Confused.”
“No, she’s just got good taste, obviously.”
“You really are pathetic, stealing your little brother’s toys like this, hyung.” Jungkook taunts. “Soon, very soon, I’m going to come and get her back. I better not find her too broken when I get there.” 
Jungkook hangs up, mutters a curse under his breath, and then starts planning the inevitable gang war he’s going to have to embroil himself in because his wife can’t keep her damn legs closed.
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tmnt-mags · 4 years
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Michelangelo x Fem!Reader
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Soulmates
Mikey has always been one of my favorites and I feel like he always gets the least amount of love from the fandom. The turtles and reader are 18+ cause that's what I do.
Warnings: brief mention of abuse.
Mikey had been in love with the idea of a soulmate since he could remember. A person made by the universe that will love you the best. For a turtle mutant that lived in the sewers it was the ultimate fantasy. However, Master Splinter had told them it was very unlikely that they would have any. They weren't human after all. Still Mikey held on to hope and dreamed for the day that he might meet his one and only. He was straight as far as he could tell so he went out of his way to watch any video he could find about ladies. He would be the perfect boyfriend. He learned about periods and makeup and watched hair tutorials. He even found a wig and after cleaning it up the best he could he would practice braiding on it. Mikey had also watched videos about the female body, more than just porn, he watched women talk about sex and listened as they complained about human dudes. He couldn't exactly practice, but he would try to prepare best as he could. He would make up for being a mutant by knowing more and being better than any human man.
He was doing a cool down after a pretty intense training session with Leo.
“You did good Mikey, but you can't celebrate after every hit. You lose concentration and will get hurt.” Leo said stretching off to the side.
“Yeah bro you got a pretty good hit on me at the end.” he opened his mouth to stretch his now sore jaw. “Hey leo we’ll be 20 soon right?
“Mikey not this again.” Leo stopped and walked over to his younger brother. “We’ve talked about this, there is almost no chance of any of us having a soulmate.”
“You don’t know that Leo. Donnie doesn’t even know! I don't wanna give up hope.” It was the same argument that they had been having for years and years. His brothers had all seemed to give up on the idea, but Mikey wouldn't.
Mikey counted down the days until their birthday. After meeting April they finally found out their real birthdays from her father's notes. They all hatched on the same day, but at different times. Donnie actually turned out to be the oldest than Raph, Leo, and finally Mikey. He had been hoping that he would turn out to be the oldest but it was meant to be he guessed.
Mikey shot up and looked down at his arm excitedly, but didn't see anything. He wasn't worried though, the day was still young! He grabbed a black sharpie and wrote a simple ‘Hi angel’ on his forearm. He checked it throughout the day but still nothing. His brothers didn't even bother writing anything.
Everyday he would write a message or draw a picture hoping that his soulmate would see it. After 2 months he started to get sad. His dad was the first to take notice, and suggested that Mikey meditate. After an hour with no luck in concentrating, Mikey was about to stop when Splinter sat across from him.
“My soulmate hasn't written me back.” He said, “Maybe you guys have been right all along.”
“I would not worry yet my son. It is possible that your soulmate is younger than you, should you have one.” Splinter reached over to pat Mikey’s knee, “I have always been hopeful that you boys would have one, but I do not want you to be disappointed.”
“Don’t worry about me pops! You know me nothing gets me down!” Mikey cheered and jumped up. He ran out of the dojo throwing a thank you over his shoulder.
Splinter did know his youngest. He was happy and enjoyed having fun, but he was also sensitive. He always had been, and out of all of his sons he worried the most about Mikey and what it would do to him if he didn't have a soulmate. He sighed and decided it would be best to meditate as well. It had always been very helpful to him.
But months passed and soon a year did too and he never heard from his soulmate. Some days it was harder to write his morning message, but he still tried. He didn't want his soulmate to wake up on her 20th birthday with no message. As far as he knew his brothers never even tried to write theirs. Mikey knew they were just afraid of the possibility that they really didn't have one. He was too. He really wanted a soulmate.
It had been a busy 2 weeks. They met a girl, who also happened to be the first human they met, they totally kicked Foot Clan ass, uncovered a super villain plot and saved the city. They truly were heroes now and that was really fucking cool. They had made a new friend in a woman named April. She was pretty and nice and didn't seem to mind the fact that they were giant turtles, after the initial shock of course. He didn't even realize he hadn't written anything on his arm during all of this. He sat in bed and stared down at himself. He didn't write anything for 2 weeks and nothing had changed.There was a painful uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he looked at his arm trying to manifest words there somehow. Nothing had changed. The world didn't end because he didn't write anything. He sighed and laid down; he looked over at the black marker he kept by his bed. He started to reach out for it but instead rolled over and tried to go to sleep.
It had been 3 months now since he had written something on his arm. He tried not to think about it, sometimes he felt a tickle there but whenever he checked there was nothing. His mind was just playing with him. The brothers were on patrol tonight and Mikey was trying not to get distracted but it was one of those days he couldn't help but think about his soulmate. Leo and Raph had already got on to him about it tonight. He realized he should have tried harder when his jump to the next roof fell short and he went crashing down to the fire escape below.
“Mikey!” His brother yelled and came rushing down to see if he was alright.
“Im good dudes,” he grunted and he started to get up. “That hurt though.”
“Are you okay?” The boys jumped and turned and sitting on the steps a couple feet from them was a girl. “Ummmm, hi.”
“Hey” was all the boys could say. She nodded and looked at them, and there were a couple of moments where they all just stared at each other.
“So, i'm gonna take a wild guess here and say this isn't normal for New York?” she said and then pursed her lips.
“No it's not.” Raph grunted at her.
“Did you think that it was?” Donnie questioned. She shrugged at them.
“I'm not from here and it seems like wild things always happen in New York.” The girl defended. Mikey stared at her. She was pretty and was wearing shorts and a large t-shirt that was covered in dried paint. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she had bangs that covered her forehead. She was holding a cup in both hands and looking at them. She didn't seem frightened at all.
“Should I be freaking out?” the pretty girl asked.
“No! You don't need to be afraid of us.” Mikey suddenly forgot about any pain or soreness from his fall and stood up the rest of the way and moved in front of his brothers. “I’m Michelangelo, but everyone calls me Mikey.”
“I heard your name.” She giggled at him but then looked him in the eyes. “You are okay right? That seemed like quite the fall.” the turtle smiled widely and did a spin in the tight space.
“Right as rain baby.”
“Oh so you suddenly don't hurt?” Leo said, crossing his arms.
“The voice of an angel healed me I guess.” Mikey said and gave the girl a wink who raised an eyebrow at him.
“Sure it did, lover boy.” Raph said and then smacked the back of Mikey's head who yelped out.
“Not cool bro.” he groaned. “Whats your name angelcakes?” the girl let out a gasp.
“How did you know my name?” she said with surprise. The boys blinked at her dumbly.
“Seriously?” Donnie asked.
“No, my name is (y/n).” She laughed. “What are your names?”
“Oh these are my brothers Donnie, Leo, and Raph!” He motioned at each one and she gave a small wave as he did.
“You’re really not scared?” Donnie asked her quietly.
“A little shocked but not scared.” (Y/n) said happily.
The boys sat and talked to her for a little bit but Leo reminded them that they had a job to do. So with an invitation for them to come back and hang out again they boys parted with their newest friend to continue patrol. When they got back to the lair Mikey felt like he was on cloud nine. She was pretty, nice, and had a great smile. Mikey sat and smiled thinking about (y/n) when his eyes caught sight of a little black marker. He frowned. He wanted to find his soulmate, he really did, but now he didn't want to write anything cause what if it wasn't her. He really wanted it to be her.
“I think I’m in love~” he sighed.
“Sure you are Mike.” Leo grunted. “Go to sleep, it was a long night.”
Mikey sighed and rolled onto his side. He looked at the marker and felt guilty for some reason. He closed his eyes and went to sleep.
Life was good the boys went over to (y/n)’s apartment about once a week and April would come down to the lair to visit them about the same amount. A couple of months after they met they introduced the girls and they got along really well. Mikey sat April down and told her that he was sorry but his heart now belonged to (y/n). She smiled at him and patted his shoulder and told him that she forgave him and even though it would be hard she would heal. His brothers laughed but he ignored it.
April was working and the boys were at (y/n)’s place. They had eaten pizza and were talking about whatever came to mind.
“Do you guys have soulmates?” (Y/n) asked rather suddenly.
“Well we actually don't know, but we think it's very unlikely that we will.” Donnie replied.
“Oh. I hope you do.” she said. Mikey felt nervous as he asked his question.
“Do you have one?” she looked over at him.
“Not yet, but I hope I do. I’ve written on my arm every day since I turned 20 6 months ago.” she said, pulling her legs up to sit criss cross on the couch.
“We missed your birthday?” Leo asked.
“It was like a month before we met.” she shrugged.
“I can't believe I missed my true-love's birthday!” Mikey exclaimed and threw his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into him.
“You're squishing me!” She pushed away from the orange clad turtle laughing. “Do you guys want soulmates?” the boys quieted, and fidgeted awkwardly.
“I mean yeah but what's the point? Looks at us! We’re freaks.” Raph called out before crossing his arms.
“But soulmates are made for you! The universe wouldn't have given us someone who is scared of us!” Mikey defended. It was a conversation that had been had many times.
“Actually I'm not sure about that.” (y/n) said. Four pairs of eyes turned towards her.
“What do you mean?” Donnie asked.
“Well my parents were soulmates and my dad used to beat my mom senseless until he was arrested and they divorced when I was 8. They were soulmates but he used to hurt her so much.” (y/n) looked down at her hands. “It took her awhile to realize that just because the universe made you soulmates didn’t mean you were meant to be.”
“What happened after that?” Leo almost whispered the question.
“Well she met my step dad who is a great guy. His soulmate isnt the romantic type so they just ended up being close friends, and then he met my mom. They fell in love and he became my step-dad. You don't need to be soulmates to love each other, sometimes soulmates are just platonic, and sometimes soulmates aren’t good for eachother.”
“I’m sorry.” Mikey said softly.
“Don't be! Everyone is happy now. I mean, I don't know about my dad. He's never tried to reach back out. I kinda don't want him to anway.” (y/n) looked back up at the turtles.
“So you must hate the idea of soulmates.” Raph suggested.
“When did I say that? I want a soulmate, I really do. I want that fairy tale happily ever after people always talk about.” She sighed and smiled. “That's why I write my soulmate everyday. I had wished that they would be older than me but I guess they are a bit younger. I just hope that when I'm 42 I don't suddenly get writing from my soulmate who just turned 20.” She laughed.
“That can happen?” she looked over at Donnie and nodded.
“You guys don't know that?” the boys, except for Mikey, nodded.
“We never thought we would have them, so beyond movies I don't think any of us really looked. Didn’t want false hope.” Leo looked at her.
“Well I did cause I’ve always wanted a soulmate!” Mikey interjected.
“Mikey used to write on his arm every single day but hasn't in months.” Raph told her.
“Hey how do you know that?” Mikey looked at him.
“You think we didn't notice? We just never brought it up cause we know how you are.” Leo mumbled. The youngest turtle pouted at this.
“Why did you stop?” (y/n) asked. Mikey sighed and leaned his head back.
“It just kinda felt pointless. I would write something every day and nothing ever happened and then I realized one day that I hadn’t written anything for 2 weeks and still nothing changed. It just kinda felt pointless lately.” Mikey told everyone. There were flashes of sadness or pity from his brothers. They always knew the day would come when Mikey realized that none of them had soulmates. They knew it would come, but they didn't want it too.
“Well thats dumb.” (y/n) said rather bluntly. “What if today is her birthday and she's waiting to see if her soulmate will write anything. There were girls in my highschool that swore that they wouldn't write first and that their soulmate had to be the one to write first.” She said, leaning into Mikey.
“Well I think thats kinda dumb.” Mikey pouted at her. She rolled her eyes and leaned forward grabbing a cup of markers.
“Here write something!” she said, giving him the cup. He grabbed a black marker and opened it.
“Fine. Anything for you angelcakes.” he blew a kiss at her and looked at his arm. He felt a weird tightness when he brought the marker to his skin. He decided to write a simple ‘Hi I’m Mikey. What's your name.’
(Y/n) shivered as he started to write and felt a tickle on her arm. She gasped and pulled up her sleeve. The brothers' eyes widened as they watched Mikey’s hand writing appear on her arm next to the old writing that she had done. Mikey did not notice.
“Mikey! Look!” The oldest turtle said pointing at (y/n). Mikey looked up at Donnie and then at (y/n)’s arm.
“Oh haha very funny. That's not really nice.” He rolled his eyes.
“What Mikey? It's not a joke!” She put her arm right next to his and told him to keep writing. He drew a squiggle and watched as it seemed to magically appear on his friend's arm.
“What? Dude! Thats awesome!” Mikey cried out. This was the best thing in the world! His angelcakes was his soulmate!
“Why haven't you written me back?” She asked slightly outraged. Mikey stopped and stared at her.
“Cause I haven’t gotten any writing.” Mikey said, remembering how she said she wrote to her soulmate everyday. The room fell quiet and Mikey felt the beginnings of a horrible pain in his heart.
“So I’m yours, but you're not…” She trailed off feeling a sudden wave of emotion and felt tears in her eyes.
“Um sorry to interrupt, but I don't think there's any reason to get upset.” Donnie started. He grabbed the marker that matched the writing she already had on her arm. “Try writing something (y/n).” She nodded quietly as a few tears fell. She opened the cap and wrote hello. Mikey felt a tickle and shivered at the phantom writing on his arm, but he looked down and there was nothing there.
“Nothing” Mikey whispered. He felt like the world was crashing down. A moment so happy followed by something so heartbreaking. Raph and Leo looked down and away. Their faces filled with sorrow for their brother, and for the hope they had just felt for themselves.
“Now hold on just a moment.” Donnie rolled his eyes. “(Y/n) why do you write in that color?”
“It's my favorite.” she sniffled.
“Do you always write in green?” He pressed.
“Yeah, like I said it's my favorite and I want my soulmate to know that. I feel like it makes it a little more personal.” (y/n) continued. Donnie leaned forward and grabbed her marker. Everyone watched as he took the marker and held it up to mikey.
“Everyone look.” They all looked and Mikey’s eyes widened.
“It's the same color as me.” he mumbled.
“(Y/n) please try again with black.” She quickly snatched up the black marker and wrote ‘I hope this is Mikey.’
“Donnie you're a genius!” Mikey tackled his brother and then quickly went back to the couch thrusting his arm at (y/n). “Do it again!”
She quickly drew a heart while staring at his arm and watched as the black lines began to appear on Mikey as she drew them. She practically threw herself at mikey wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his face.
“Woah. I think that we should probably leave.” Leo suggested as his two other brothers got up and followed him to the window.
“Thank you Donnie!” (y/n) shouted out. Donnie gave a thumbs up and went out the window and closed it behind him.
“I can’t believe we’ve known each other for 5 months without finding out!” Mikey said nuzzling her face and wiping whatever tears were still there.
“I can't believe I never thought to write in black!” She laughed and kissed his cheek.
“Wait!” He leaned back. “The turtle thing doesn't bother you? Really? Truly?”
“Of course not! I’ve had a big crush on you for like 2 months now! This is the best news ever!” his soulmate cheered. “Also I just kissed you like 10 times.”
Mikey laughed and held her close, kissing her cheek. He had a soulmate! His soulmate was a beautiful, funny, nice girl who liked him!
“I knew there was a reason I’ve always loved green.” She said with a smile and leaned in to kiss mikey’s lips. It was a nice sweet kiss and just what he always thought a first kiss should be, yet so much better. He sighed and relaxed against the couch with (y/n) in his arms.
He had a soulmate and things couldn't be better.
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dripkingpetey · 4 years
Text
love-e.pettersson
ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise i’ll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.
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*lowercase intended!*
2.2k words
he loves you, you know that right?
“why did you drag me here, i really don’t like hockey and you know that.” you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena. 
“i know you don’t.” lucie said with a bright smile on her face. “but, you’re gonna learn to like it.” you look at her in confusion. “so, this is your way of torturing me as if you don’t already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.” you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. “maybe.” lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.
you’ve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, you’d go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.
“what part of this sport do you even like?” you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you don’t even really know who they are. “well, if I’m being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.” you scoffed at her response. “none of them are hot from where i can see.” lucie looked at you with a shocked look. “oh you’ll get it once you get to know the players more.” you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.
-
canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didn’t want to say no so you agreed to go.
you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isn’t surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.
you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. “hey pretty girl, want to come home with me?” he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but she’s no where to be found. 
you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out. 
“hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.” elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. “sorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.” he shoots an apologetic smile at you. 
“its okay,” you give him a smile back. “thank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.” you take another look around the bar before looking back and him. 
“i’m elias by the way.” he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. “y/n.” you say before shaking his hand. 
“so elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?” you gesture for him to sit down next to you. “if i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. “tell me, i wanna know.” elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. “i’m with them,” he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. “ah, so i’m guessing you’re on the canucks?”
elias lets out a nervous laugh. “yeah, why don’t we go somewhere else where the boys aren’t up my ass?” you take another sip out of your drink. “i would love to.” he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. “you have a scary death stare jeez.” elias leads you to his car. “that’s surprisingly what the fans love me for.” he smiles at you before opening the car 
door for you.
-
“…and that’s all what led me to being on the canucks.” elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you don’t know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. “jeez, i kinda sound like a douche. i’ve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.” elias said to you while you laughed at his words. 
“it’s all good, i’ve been the one asking questions anyways.” you smiled while responding to him. “no seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really don’t want to by the way.” 
you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. “well, i’ve lived in vancouver my whole life. and i’m currently going to ubc as a nursing student.” you smiled at his now very amused face. 
“see, that’s something i wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say it,” he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. “can i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but i’m free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.” 
you smile at his words and take his phone from him. “of course you can, i’m free tomorrow too just give me a call.” you said while handing his phone back to him after you’ve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. “goodnight elias.” you look up at him with a smile as he’s standing in the doorway. “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “pettersson!” you called out at him and he turns around confused. “text me when you get home.” he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed. 
no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one he’s truly cared about. 
he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.
*contact name changed to “y/n<3”* 
text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).
-
it’s been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could. 
you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldn’t see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasn’t sure about it yet. he also didn’t want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.
“hey, are you coming to the game tonight?” elias asked over the phone to you.
you let out a sigh before you start speaking. “i’ll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.” elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. “y/n, its okay. you don’t have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.” he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence. 
“i’ll still try though, i’ll give you a text if i can make it.” you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk. 
“okay, love you, i gotta go.” “love you too e, good luck.” you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.
-
the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.
you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.
“elias?” you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.
“hey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.” he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.
you positioned your head so you’re now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. “thank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?” elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. “of course we can y/n.”
the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.
-
“he loves you, you know that right?” brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.
it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.
you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. “what?” you said to brock with confusion. “no he doesn’t.”
brock scoffed at your response. “dude, you can’t be serious. how do you not see it.”
you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. “does he talk about me?” you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink. 
“does he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you don’t show up to our games, it’s worse when we’re on the road.” 
you smile to yourself at what brock said.
-
you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didn’t want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.
“elias?” you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction. 
“yes?” he said while playing with your hair softly. 
“brock said something to me earlier,” you said while pulling your body close to his.
 “of course he did,” he said with a sigh. “what’d he say this time?” 
“apparently you talk about me a lot?” you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.
“yeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.” he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.
“hey!” you said as you playfully punched him. “i was going to do something but i guess not anymore.” you said with a huff.
he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.
elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.
you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didn’t even notice you were awake until you did that.
“it smells really good,” you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you. 
he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. “do you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?”
you look up at him with slight shock. “yeah, why not.” you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.
“shit.” elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and you’re both laughing your asses off.
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prodbyteez · 3 years
Text
kys. magoa (pt. 1) [f/a]
(n.) a heart breaking feeling that leaves long-lasting traces, visible in gestures and facial expressions
tw; mention of violence
word count; 966 (i added a word count bc this is pretty lengthy, but i might start doing it regularly <3)
you promised me you wouldn’t get hurt this time
...sorry
it was late. way too late for you to be up and even later for you to be patching up your best friend’s wounds in the middle of your kitchen. being the forever best friend of a notorious mafia leader was stressful to say the least. he made sure to never involve you in his business and constantly made sure your identity would stay hidden for your safety. and his sanity. it didn’t mean you were exempt from playing nurse every so often. even when you guys had the off chance of hanging out, it felt almost taboo at times - both of you wearing masks, caps, and sunglasses for added protection. the only place you could truly be yourselves was at your apartment (he claims it’s less likely to be bugged) but you couldn’t complain. you knew that if you ever needed him he would be there for you in a heartbeat. maybe that’s why you haven’t left him to live the mafia life alone. because you kept him human.
you hear a sharp hiss as you take the alcohol pad off his face, his face contorted in a grimace. 
if getting hurt less means i won’t have to deal with this blaring pain, i will 100% do it
really? that’s why you’d stop getting hurt?
....and because you asked me to
you smiled at him as you rummage through your first aid kit to apply a bandaid to his wound. to his distaste, the only bandaids left were paw patrol ones that your nephew demanded you buy. you don’t notice him staring at you as you struggle to peel the paper off the adhesive. cute, he thinks. 
you’re finally able to get the bandaid off and you place it above his eyebrow, smoothening it out and trying to avoid any eyebrow hairs that may get caught underneath. he sees you stick your tongue out slightly in concentration as he lifts his hand up to your forehead.
stop furrowing your eyebrows so much. you’re gonna get wrinkles like that
it’s not like you’d stop loving me if i got wrinkles
you’re right, but that wouldn’t stop me from calling you grandma either
you retaliate with a soft punch to his arm to which he grabs dramatically and pretends to cry.
how dare you! you can’t hit a wounded patient! im suing you
you rolled your eyes and laughed at him. 
you’re so dumb
watch out before i sue you for emotional pain too
you walk away but not before he hops off the counter to squeeze you tightly. you feel his nose tickle the back of your neck as you hear a soft ‘thank you again’ being mumbled into your skin. he wasn’t one much for affection so you basked in the few seconds he was giving you. you softly pinch his arm as you hum back at him, your silent version of a ‘you’re welcome’. 
his arms slide off from around you as you head towards the cupboard to look for some comfort food. bread and nutella. you grab the toaster and slip two pieces of bread in, pushing the handle down. 
now’s the time, you thought to yourself.
so uh yeosang
mm? what’s up? 
he rests his elbows on the kitchen island looking at you with concern whilst trying to pick apart your body language. you’d known each other forever. he could tell from the smallest tell tale sign what was running in your brain and judging from your crossed arms and gaze set on the floor, he knew you were going to tell him something serious.
um...okay...so...uh there’s this dude
yeosang felt his heart drop to the floor. of course there was. nevermind that he’s been in love with you for the past year, but has just never confessed out of fear of someone harming you. now he’s simply never going to get the chance. he was your best friend though. so he did what best friends did.
mmm...i see...tell me about him
he noticed the blush starting to creep on your face. i should be the one making you do that. his mind was swirling with jealousy, heartbreak, and anger. all things he hopes weren’t showing up in his facial expressions as you went on.
he’s super super sweet and kind. and really really handsome too. i met him when school started so like...5 months ago? and we were partnered up for this project because we were in the same class. honestly, i didn’t really like him at first but he grew on to me. kinda like your typical enemies to lovers story, but i didn't ever think that would happen to me. so...yeah. you’re actually the first person to know. you know. since you’re my best friend and all
more than ever, he despised that title. 
no yeah totally. i’m glad you were confident enough to tell me. he reached over the island to squeeze your hand and plaster a smile on his face. jeez kang, that smile couldn’t be any faker.
thank you for hearing me out. seriously i appreciate it. i want you to meet him really bad, i think you’d get along!
woah woah woah, before all that, you haven’t even told me his name yet.
oh yeah sorry. his name is park seonghwa.
...what?
park. seong. hwa.
yeosang couldn’t help but stare blankly. his heart was beating 500 beats per minute. you waved your hand in front of yeosang’s face concerned.
...yeo? earth to yeo?
his brain was trying to stop him from making the stupidest decision of his life. because he knew you were happy. you just somehow managed to fall for the mafia leader that killed your best friend’s parents. 
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guardianofjunmyeon · 3 years
Text
Finding Atlantis (part 14)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Enemies to Lovers, PirateAU
Description:  20 years ago the seas became angry. Unruly and unkind to any sailor, to  any ship that dared venture too far out in her waters. Many a man has  heard the tales of Atlantis, the lost city, the key the ocean. But fewer  men know the tale of it’s missing child. The key to the ocean, the key  to Atlantis but a lost little one. The power one would hold should they  find this child would be nearly that of Poseidon himself. Thus, the hunt  began.  
A/N: wait i forgot i left you all on a cliffhanger akjfhjf. Here’s an update (finally) im a bitch blocked about where the next chapter is going so it might take...about as long as this one took to be uploaded. Its gonna have some smut tho. This chapter has new characters and PLEASE appreciate my fucking bubble conversation, i wanted to use the whole “she came down in a bubble dawg!” convo but i didnt
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18
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There are certain experiences you’ve lived through enough times to consider yourself a pro at handling. Situations like being handcuffed to a bed. Like being left on an island with no food or water. Like having to fight your way out of a bar when someone is getting too rough with the other patrons.
Drowning is quickly becoming a situation with which you are getting too closely acquainted.
When the ocean swallowed your little dinghy, your life flashed before your very eyes. This was truly the end. The last thing you would ever live through would be the song of Atlantis tickling your ears, the sight of Junmyeon glowing blue, and the feeling of Baekhyun’s skin beneath your palm.
All in all it wasn’t the worst way to go, but there was still so much more that you wanted to experience.
You’d never gotten a chance to return home, to sit at that cliff where you sent off your mother’s body and tell her about all of the things you’d done with your life. To describe to her the ship you’d bought, the friends you’d made, the adventures you’d gone on and the memories you’d made. You wanted to go find Victoria again and thank her for taking you in.
You wanted to find that boy that saved your life when you were but a child and to thank him properly. You wanted to tell him all that you’d done and repay him for giving you that chance at life. You wonder if he’s grown up into a handsome man now. If he has a spouse and kids and a happy home on that island you once called home that you left as soon as you could. You wonder if he’d even remember you.
You’d never gotten a chance to get the Storm Chaser those new upgrades that you’d been saving up for. An extension to the crew cabins, sturdier masts, a new set of sails.
You hadn’t gotten the chance to fall in love, to have your heartbroken, to have a baby or even hold one for that matter. Would you have made a good mother? Would you have made a decent wife? Would you have been able to find someone willing to spend the rest of their life with you, on the seas, on land, wherever your hearts could make a home?
Would you have tried to make a home with Baekhyun?
The feeling of being sucked down into the depths of the ocean doesn’t get any less terrifying the second time that you go through it.
As a matter of fact, having it happen again is more terrifying than the first time. Maybe it’s because you can actually feel the pressure of the water crushing your chest. You can feel the way you’re being sucked farther down and the way the water rushes into your nose from the shock of being suddenly dragged under.
It’s nothing like the storm, nothing like fighting the waves and catching the flashes of light as you fought to climb to the surface. Of being tossed around and dropping and rising hundreds of feet seconds at a time. At least then you had a purpose. You aren’t trying to save a life this time. You aren’t able to fight the invisible force dragging you farther and farther down into the water. The water around you is calm, the movement of your body whizzing through the water feels scarily misplaced.
Magical. Unnatural.
Then it all finally stops.
The force pulls you into a pocket of air and gravity takes you by force. Your body collapses on solid ground, and you can breathe. You gasp frantically for air and cough violently as you attempt to catch your breath and your bearings.
You sit up and position yourself on shaky hands and knees as you heave on the dark basalt beneath your splayed fingers.
It takes a few moments of panicked breathing to realize –you’re alive.
You’re alive.
You realize that you’re alive and then you regain enough brain power to panic over if Junmyeon and Baekhyun are also alive. You hear dramatic coughing and hurling to your left and when you investigate you find Baekhyun on his ass with his head between his knees as his spits out salt water.
He looks like a miserable wet dog. You would laugh if you weren’t sure that you look the same.
But where is Junmyeon?
You look left and right, in front of you and behind you but you see no trace of him. No sign of him in the underwater cave you’ve somehow found yourself.
“How did we even get in here?” you spit more salt water on the ground and look for your area of entry. Down. It felt like you fell down. So maybe there is something above.
A gasp gets caught in your throat at the sight above you. Open water somehow suspended above. If you weren’t nearly positive that you somehow fell from there, you would think there was some extremely strong glass blocking the water from falling through the hole above. You can see the glow of deep sea fish swimming by and you’re hit with just how far below the surface you are.
Dizziness pounds through your skull and you hurl out more water all over your hands.
Disgusting.
“Are you guys alright?”
You lift your head at the sound of Junmyeon’s voice and feel your remaining strength seeping from your bones. He looks between you and Baekhyun’s pathetic forms with distressed eyes.
Baekhyun looks up from between his legs with an incredulous open-mouthed frown. He looks your first mate from his toes to his head. “How the hell are you dry?”
It’s then that you notice he looks remarkably put together. As if he never even experienced the sensation of being pulled straight towards hell through water. The patterns on his skin have dulled down to a pale blue, but they are still there as clear as day.
“An Atlantian thing,” Junmyeon answers with a shrug and a smile. He reaches out a hand to help you to your feet but you wave him away with a shake of your head.
“No, give me a second. I just- I need,” you point to the hole above, “This is just-” you close your eyes and wave him away weakly. “Fuck, I need some time.”
He laughs lightly and chooses to help Baekhyun up while you gather your wits. This is overwhelming. “Did you just materialize down here what the fuck?”
“No, I came down in a bubble.”
“A…bubble.”
“Yeah you know one of those things filled with air-”
“You couldn’t lend us one of those bubbles?!”
“I didn’t know how. I don’t even know how I got it around me. Must be an Atlantian-”
“If you say ‘Atlantian thing’ one more time I will, and I swear to Poseidon, strangle you with my bare hands right here.”
“…Atlantian thing,” Junmyeon finishes cheekily. Baekhyun groans loudly and you can hear the weak thumps of him trying to smack your first mate and being deflected.
You struggle onto your feet as Junmyeon and Baekhyun argue. Typical back and forth between the two of them, you know Baekhyun is all talk when it comes to most people; he won’t hurt Junmyeon.
Letting your eyes fully wander the cave, you take in the shiny crystals in the rock around you and the way everything glows a tranquil light blue.
You hear the thundering footsteps before you see the people coming charging towards you out of the alcove hidden from your view.
“INTRUDERS, DROP TO THE GROUND NOW!”
“We just got up,” Baekhyun whines at your side. You lower your still shaking body back down to your knees and hold your hands up in the air to show your willingness to cooperate. In the corner of your eye you catch Junmyeon landing a swift kick to the back of Baekhyun’s legs with his good leg and sending him to the ground with a painful crash.
You flinch at the noise and the people in matching outfits in front of you hold out their swords, ready to strike at any moment. Once Junmyeon has lowered himself to his knees, the group of people break apart to make way for who you assume must be the leader. If the aura of dominance and the extra sparking pink embellishments on their otherwise plain white uniform is anything to go by.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” The man asks gruffly. He’s tall, handsome, big eyes rimmed in dark black kohl. His analyzing brown eyes drag from you, to Baekhyun, and finally land on Junmyeon. You catch the exact moment that recognition crosses his face.
His eyes widen and he blinks rapidly in disbelief, the sword in his hand clatters to the ground and resounds through the cave. “S-Suho? Prince Suho is that you?”
You turn to look at Junmyeon who has locked eyes with the leader with a look of confusion on his face.
“Do they know each other?” Baekhyun whispers to you.
“Shut up,” you hiss.
Junmyeon gasps and climbs to his feet. “Minho? Minho! I can’t believe it,” he says elatedly. The two of them run (Junmyeon more hobbling than running with the shitty cast still on his leg) into each other’s arms to embrace and you watch with a kind of fond sadness as they grip one another as if the other will vanish into thin air.
The other guards slowly lower their swords and break out into disbelieving whispers. Baekhyun grabs your left hand and lowers it to your lap. “I think you can lower your hands now prisoner. I don’t think they’re going to kill us yet.”
“It’s as if nothing in this world is enough to keep you from annoying the absolute hell out of me,” you grumble.
He beams, a wide and happy smile. “It’s my charm.”
You snort out a laugh while he stands up on both feet and holds out a hand for you to take to get up. You slap your hand in his and let him heft you to your feet.
Junmyeon calls out your name and you whip in his direction in alarm. He drags over the leader of the guard with a hand on his bicep and matching grins on their faces. “I want you to meet my childhood friend Minho!” He looks up at Minho with eyes beaming with happiness. “We grew up together, and Minho here is the Captain of the entire Atlantian military.”
Minho looks down at the ground bashfully.
“It is an honor to meet you. Junmyeon says that he wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I, as well as all of our people owe you our highest form of gratitude,” Minho says with a deep bow.
You blink at the gesture, stupefied into immobility. Junmyeon gives you a pointed look and a subtle bow of his own to hint that you should bow back. You quickly bend at the waist and rise up. “It’s- Uhm, thank you. It wasn’t just me though, there are lots of people to thank for his return up on the surface,” you say with a nervous smile.
Minho laughs. “I’m sure. You can all amaze us with tales of your time above at breakfast in a few hours. I’m sure you would all like a moment to settle and…” he looks at Baekhyun and your soaked clothing. “…clean yourselves up.”
The two of you frown indignantly.
As if you planned on showing up soaking wet.
Minho whistles loudly and a smaller man comes scrambling out of the group of guards. “Hendery, show our two outsiders where they can rest. I will take the prince directly to the Queen.”
The smaller man nods vigorously. “Yes sir. I would like to have Xiaojun assist me, if I can.”
“Take who you need,” Minho gives you both another once over before leaning down to whisper, “Make sure there is plenty of soap in their bathrooms.”
You squawk in embarrassment. Junmyeon offers an apologetic smile before coming to place both of his hands on your shoulders and lowering his voice to talk to you and Baekhyun as privately as he can. “Just follow them and relax. I will come find you once I am finished talking to the Queen. They won’t do anything to hurt either of you.” He squeezes your shoulder. “I’ll make sure of it.”
You nod in affirmation. Baekhyun grunts at your side.
Hendery and another young guard lead you away and out of the cave. You are only allowed one final look over your shoulder before Junmyeon vanishes from your sight.
The bleakness of the cave gives way to a wide low hallway covered from top to bottom in blue crystals, or maybe it’s glass.
“You’re awfully quiet,” you murmur to the man at your side. Neither of the guards bother to turn around at the sound of your voice.
“I’m trying to take it all in. This is insane I never thought I would ever actually see this place,” Baekhyun whispers back. You’re shocked by the genuine way he explains himself. “Why? Do you already miss the sound of my voice? I can keep talking if you want.”
“I’ll pass. I already miss the silence.”
His giggle resonates against the walls. You bite down on your lip to keep from smiling in return.
Your group reaches the end of the tunnel and the guards suddenly stop. Hendery turns around first. “Because we are unable to trust you we will have to transport you while keeping our city and location a secret.”
“Huh?”
“I think we’re going to get blindfolded,” Baekhyun whispers to you.
The other guard reaches into his coat and produces two pieces of cloth while Hendery slams a fist on the wall. A hole opens up where seamless wall once stood. You watch dumbly as the other guard, Xiao…Xiao something sits in the human-sized hole and then lies on his back before disappearing through a tube.
What the fuck is this place?
You’re blindfolded first and led to the hole. “Sit.” So you do. What kind of transport requires you to sit in a hole blind? You’ve lived a couple of years now and that's long enough to know that this doesn’t feel quite safe.
Before you can argue your way out of it, you’re pushed and then careening through space. With your eyes covered and the jolt of bewilderment at sliding too fast to be humanly possible you don’t have any choice but to let out a scream.
You’re on your feet again before you know it –albeit dizzy and shaking. The blindfold is removed and you’re met with the impassive face of the guard. You look around yourself to figure out what in the deep sea hell you just slid through.
“You might want to get out right about now,” he suggests.
You hear the telltale sound of Baekhyun’s yelling and cursing getting closer by the second, so you hobble out of the exit compartment and watch in wonder as the top of the compartment opens up and air blasts from the bottom to decrease the force of gravity as Baekhyun drops to his feet.
He’s shaking like a log and his wet hair and clothes are even more disheveled than they were before.
Maybe it’s the overload of being exposed to all the new technology and scenery, but you can’t stop yourself from loudly laughing at his appearance.
Xiaoxi…Xiaode…Xiaojun, that sounds right-
Xiaojun walks forward with a smile twitching on his lips to remove the blindfold from the once one-eyed troublemaker. But, Baekhyun has his eyes squeezed closed, refusing to open them. You take it upon yourself to physically pull him out of his spot.
“It’s over, you’re on solid ground now,” you tease. He peaks open one eye and it darts around distrustfully before he opens them both and leans forward with his hands on his knees to let out a dramatic exhale of breath. Another humored giggle escapes you. “You look like shit and the way you screamed-.”
He stands up straight with reddened cheeks. “Never speak of it,” he threatens in a low voice. You roll your eyes and lift a hand to fix his messy hair. You hear the hiss of air from the tube, knowing that Hendery will be arriving soon, but you busy yourself with smoothing down the unruly strands.
The red darkens on his face as you rake your fingers through the hair at his fringe. You aren’t sure what compels you to initiate the act, but he doesn’t stop you so selfishly you continue to take what you can. Satisfied with your work you smile shyly and turn away to hide your face and the heat you can feel creeping up your neck.
A cough snaps you back into attention.
Right, the guards.
Hendery has a creepily knowing smirk on his face while Xiaojun covers his mouth with his hand, but you can see mirth shining in his eyes.
Baekhyun clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. “So…where are we supposed to rest exactly? Or are we supposed to wander around and find it ourselves?”
Hendery motions to the right. “Down this hallway.” He nudges Xiaojun and they both walk forward. You resist the urge to smash your head into the wall as you follow behind. Into one of the…beautiful smooth white walls. For the first time you take in the interior of the building where you have ended up.
High ceilings and pillars. Enormous windows that go from ceiling to floor to show an expansive view of what awaits outside.
You’ve had plenty of time to image what Atlantis would look like, but seeing it in front of you now, bathed in a light like that of early dawn, with the reflection of water moving over the architecture…it’s too unreal, too magical to put into words.
“Keep up. You’ll be able to see the city after breakfast with the Queen,” Xiaojun advises. Both you and Baekhyun pick your pace back up after having fallen behind trying to take in all that around you.
Attempting to keep your gawking to a minimum you keep your eyes ahead and try to quickly take in as much as you can.
“We’re here,” Hendery says. You almost tumble into his side when he suddenly stops; and Baekhyun trips over his own feet at your side. “These will be your rooms. There will be drinking water and a bathroom for you to clean up. We have already notified the castle staff of your arrival and there will be clothes delivered to you for you to change into for the meal.
“Breakfast will be served in 3 hours. One of the castle butlers will come for you to show you to the dining area at that time. Until then we advise you entertain yourself inside of the room.” The door is opened and a grand suite awaits you. Your mouth drops at the extravagance of it.
A large bed rests at the very center of the room, draped in iridescent white curtains that look as creamy as milk. The floor is covered in cold white marble and speckled with shells and pearls embedded into it. A large couch is perched near the entrance, a lit fire in front of it keeping the room comfortably warm. A book shelf stretches across a third of the room only stopping at a golden archway that you assume leads into the bathroom. The room is decorated in soft golds, creamy whites and pale blues. You catch little accents of pink in the wall paint and on the couch pillows.
The dome-like shape of the room makes you feel like you’re in a bubble.
“What is with you guys and bubbles?” You grumble to yourself.
Xiaojun shrugs. “It’s an Atlantian thing,” he says simply.
You close your eyes in frustration while Baekhyun grumbles at your side.
“So whose room is this?” Baekhyun asks once he’s done cursing Atlantis and its obsession with bubbles. Hendery and Xiaojun share a look and you catch the sneakiness on their expressions.
Hendery is the one who decides to answer, cheerily as if he isn’t intentionally planning to ruin your time here in Atlantis. “Both of yours.”
“I’m sorry what did you just say?”
“This room is for the both of you.” Hendery casts Baekhyun a wide smile. “You’ll have to share because…uhm..”
“Because we’re low on rooms,” Xiaojun chimes in.
“Yes! Low on rooms,” Hendery agrees quickly, conspicuously. You narrow your eyes. “You see we have a lot of guests recently because of a…” he looks to Xiaojun for help.
“For a uh, for a wedding!”
“Who is getting married?” Baekhyun asks, just to catch them in their lie.
“One of the princes! Ah we must be returning to our Captain now. Rest well!” Hendery says quickly before he and Xiaojun rush away with their hands over their mouths, giggling like school children. You’re adults, you can share a room. You won’t let the giggling of the younger boys worsen the pounding in your chest.
You exhale and shake your head. “Come on.” You enter the room first and immediately feel relaxed by the colors, the roundedness, and general softness of everything around you.
The fire feels like it’s calling your name so you wander over to warm yourself up by its flames. Your wet clothes are beginning to feel bothersome again now that the excitement of being in Atlantis and being alive have begun to fade.
The sound of something sopping wet hitting the ground heavily pulls your attention from the flickering flames. When you turn around you don’t expect to see your roommate getting ass naked…
But alas that is what your eyes land on. His shoes and shirt are already in a wet pile by his feet.
“Baekhyun,” you admonish. He stops with his pants halfway down his legs. You look at his soft naked dick only momentarily before you raise your eyes back to his anticipatory face. “Really?”
“I’m cold and wet. I need a shower do you want me to get sick?”
“You couldn’t even wait to go change in the bathroom?”
“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” he responds before shucking the last of his clothing and standing in the middle of the room proudly.
In all his naked glory.
You can’t help but feel a bit put off by the fact that he doesn’t have any issue getting naked around you. He’s not even hard. It’s like your presence doesn’t affect him in the slightest.
Bitterly you wonder if you’d been Jongin would he have a different reaction in this situation. You stand up abruptly. Fuck Baekhyun.
Pettily you strip out of your clothes as you walk towards the bathroom, leaving the wet articles in your wake. “I’m cleaning myself first,” you state coldly as you all but rip the last of your clothing off at the archway of the bathroom.
You don’t turn around and you don’t bother to investigate why he seems stunned to his spot or why he averts his eyes as you walk by.
~~~
The bathroom is just as opulent as the main room. A creamy white with pretty pale pinks streaked through the marble and coloring the crystals that illuminate the room in a soft pinkish glow.
A tub the size of a small pool is carved into the corner of the room. Oils and scented salts in jars cover the expansive shelf built into the wall at its side. A wide mirror stretches across the room with a spout and basin to wash your hands in front of it. A varied range of brushes and facial oils and paints are neatly organized across the counter, settled in front of a thick patterned chaise. You find candles nestled snuggly beneath a shelf of towels and unused sponges on ropes.
Looking at your appearance in the mirror, your hold in the need to physically recoil. You skin looks blanched from the overexposure to water, and the hair on your head is knotted beyond belief. Not wanting to look at your naked form for too long you twist the knob at the tub to release a steady flow of lukewarm water. You toss in some oil that smells good and a soap that catches your attention. The bottle is make of glass and has writing that you can’t read as it must be in Atlantian, but it smells and looks good and bubbles up when it comes in contact with the running water.
Grabbing a comb from the counter of goodies and the specialized hair soap left at the side of the tub, you decide to make an event out of pulling your appearance back together. You will be meeting the Queen in a few hours.
Gingerly, you lower yourself into the water and shove your head under the spout before lathering it in hair soap and detangling the strands on your hand. Rinsing out the suds and then turning off the water, you allow yourself to be semi submerged in the water.
“Yah, you can’t steal the bath and then spend an hour using it. I could have been in and out already.” You crane your neck to find Baekhyun’s complaining form leaning against the archway.
“You weren’t fast enough. Not my problem. You can wait.”
“No I can’t.”
“You can, and you will. I’m not fucking moving.”
In the month you have spent time more intimately with Baekhyun aboard your ship as a fellow crewman, you’ve learned one thing about him that you didn’t know before. He can be astoundingly petty.
His intelligence, his wit, his strength and skill as a pirate, his ability to charm and talk his way out of anything –you knew of it all before. But this petty level of childishness is new.
That being said, you aren’t surprised to find him padding over and then climbing into the large tub across from you. He settles and then his bottom lip juts out.
“Happy now?”
“No.”
You snort loudly and his pout breaks off into something like a smile. You push a handful of water in his direction, not enough to do much and not with enough strength to even be called a splash.
The little shithead he is takes your push of water as permission to send a small tidal wave in your direction, splashing you directly in your face.
You splutter and wipe the water from your eyes while he laughs his loudest most punctuated laugh at your expense. When you squint at him through the water still in your eyes you see pure relaxed happiness in his features, and you can’t find it in you to even attempt to be mad.
This Baekhyun is the real one. The one he covers up with cocky smiles and biting words. The one he leaves locked away and protected from the heartlessness that is required of your jobs.
Happy Baekhyun is a vulnerable Baekhyun. A soft version of him that makes your heart hammer in your chest and sparks a juvenile desire to keep him at your side safe from anyone who dares try and take that side of him away.
His laughing calms to muffled chuckles hidden behind his hand. “Okay, now I’m happy.”
“That makes one of us,” you scoff out. The water begins to agitate your eyes so you run the water from the spout to flush out the fragrance laced liquid. Blindly you reach out for the stream only to continuously miss.
“Come here,” you hear at your side. “Here, lean back.” You’re moved to the side and you lean backwards only to come in contact with his chest. You tense before giving in and letting yourself relax against him. You feel his muscles shifting as he reaches around you to cup water and pour it over your eyes. You blink away the water and scrunch up your face in discomfort. “I’m not done, try and keep your eyes open this time,” he says gently.
You reach up and hold open each eyelid as he cups the water and lets it flush out the soap. Finally you can blink without agitation. You contemplate thanking him, but decide to do it once you’re safely on your side of the bath. As you’re making your escape, arms wrap around you and pull you back securely down between strong thighs and against a warm chest.
“Can you…uh can you let me go?”
“Nuh uh,” he grunts with a head shake.
You look down at where his arms are crossed over your chest and swallow thickly. He perches his chin on your shoulder and takes in a deep relaxed breath. You feel stiff as a board. “This is nice,” he sighs out.
This is too intimate. This is too intimate. This is too intimate.
“How long have you been in love with Jongin, Baekhyun?” you ask in a rush of breath. His grip on you loosens to nothing and you pull yourself away from him, crossing your arms over your chest to hide the hardening of your nipples. From the cold of the air and the all too close embrace you’d found yourself enjoying just a tad too much.
He splutters. “I- wh-” he starts to cough violently. You feel your heart sinking with each noise he makes. “I don’t- I’m not in love with Jongin!”
You let your silence and your frown portray your disbelief.
“I’m serious. I’m not in love with Jongin he’s like my younger brother, what would make you think that?!” He fake gags. “Oh gross, just the thought-” he covers his mouth to fake gag again.
You gawk at him. Is he overcompensating to hide the truth?
“What in Poseidon’s name would lead you to believe that I’m in love with Jongin? I nearly raised the kid.”
You feel embarrassment creeping up your neck like snakes. “You- the…Minseok said…”
“Minseok said I was in love with Jongin?!”
“No! Wait let me-” you smack a hand to your forehead. “Minseok said that you took the compass with you when you came to find the three of us and I guess I just I don’t fucking know assumed you had to want to find your crew most in the world and then I figured you were actually in love with one of them and Jongin seemed like the most likely of him and Chanyeol because Chanyeol doesn’t really seem like your type but I guess it could also be him since he’s kind of goofy and airhead at times too-”
His hands come out of the water to cup your cheeks and then –lips.  
“Stop talking,” he says softly. Another quick press of his lips against yours. “You’re wrong and you’re stupid and you need to stop thinking before you overload your dumb little brain.”
“Hey-”
“Ah ah. What did I say?”
You purse your lips and let him squish your cheeks closer together until your lips are puckered ridiculously. The look in his eyes is fond almost, the smile on his lips and the shine in his eyes soft as he squishes and unsquishes your face.
You bat away his hands. “You still didn’t answer my question,” you whine despite yourself.
“Aw the baby getting upset?” he makes a face of exaggeratedly fake concern. “Come here, sit on daddy’s lap and I’ll make you feel all better.”
“Baek that was gross.”
“The invitation still stands.” He waggles his eyebrows and shimmies his shoulders. When his gaze drops down to your uncovered chest and a bit of the playfulness gets swallowed up by want, you feel a bit of that desire rushing through your veins again.
He isn’t in love with Jongin?
That only leaves more unanswered questions, but you let them go easily at the sight of Baekhyun reclining lazily against the side of the tub, rubbing up and down his thighs slowly and watching you with predatory closeness.
He is so sexy, you are so fucked.
Squashing the tiny feeling of shame, you crawl over and wrap yourself around him. You can feel him rising in excitement from beneath you. You let your arms rest lazily around his shoulders while he busies his hands with massaging circles on your hips.
“That feels nice,” you whisper in a puff of breath. You know that he can see how affected you are –can feel it in your impatient squirms against him as you attempt to subtly relieve the ache growing inside of you. He hums in agreement and focuses his eyes on your mouth.
You can take a hint when it’s staring you in the face like this. You lean forward and connect your lips softly. A peck. Another one. A kiss on the corner of his mouth. A kiss on the tip of his nose. Another on his smiling lips.
When you pull back there’s emotion swimming in his irises that sparks a heat in your core. You nip at his bottom lip.
A lick, a nibble, a juvenile laugh against pressed lips.
He sticks his tongue out through pursed lips, waiting for you to try and kiss him with his ridiculous expression. You pull away to grimace, only to laugh and lick a messy wet stripe from his upper lip to the tip of his nose.
“You’re a dick,” he laughs, wiping your saliva off his nose.
“And you’re a bastard,” you respond easily. You look at your deeply pruning skin with disdain. “We should dry off.”
“But I like it here in the tub; I haven’t even scrubbed the dirt off.”
“We can clean ourselves properly after I get your cock inside me.” You feel him twitch from beneath you. You cock your head to the side teasingly. “Oh, now you’re ready to get out?”
He scrambles from under you and over the edge of the tub right to the towels. You roll your eyes playfully and climb out just as he plops a towel on your head and quickly tries to dry your hair, only messing it up further.
“Hurry up. We’ll get sick if we stay like this for too long. We need to go to the bed and warm up, I can already feel a cold coming on.”
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hongism · 3 years
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hi caly boo its ur 🌊 anon! i finally finished the most brilliant darkness and oh my lawd i’m in spain without the s. to put it shortly: U DID NOT DISAPPOINT BESTIE, and it seems unreal that u and ur mind and this fic even exists bc every moment is just polished to perfection, while simultaneously every character is polished to a sort of imperfect perfection(?). i have so many questions and things to say idek where to start, and tho im not good with words and even worse at deciphering hidden meanings, here are just some of my thoughts that i remember from the story.
hello my dear!!! eee im gonna answer separately since i think i’ll be very long-winded as usual but first of all thank you so much :(( this fic is actually very full of subliminal messages and hidden nuances that are weaved throughout which i think could be quite confusing so i apologize for that! if i had managed my time better, i would have adjusted when i started the fic to account for managing those aspects of the fic but alas i’m terrible at time management and i suck so. anyways.
first of all, ngl halfway into the story i lowkey forgot this was a wooyoung fic bc SANNN and also bc wooyoung appeared like 3 times lol. even after it finishing all that, i still had my doubts as to why this is a wooyoung fic, or more like why is san this significant in a wooyoung fic. im still a bit slow on these pls forgive me and im just curious why u made it like that.
i think yeah the most interesting thing about this fic is the emphasis on san over wooyoung. and when looking over it yeah i could have switched san and wooyoung’s characters and called it a day, but wooyoung really in my mind acts as the integral turning point for decisions made in the story. 
the goal with the fic wasn’t really to be hyperfocused on the pairing itself, but rather the emotions and thought processes of each character (aside from wooyoung). wooyoung was kept intentionally mysterious and a bit set apart from the rest of the fic because his role in story was moreso an abstract of hestia, the goddess of the hearth and home. wooyoung’s character appeared in times where y/n was struggling with the thought of home or adjusting to the new changes in her life! wooyoung’s pairing itself was actually intended to be solely platonic at first, but as the story went on i thought having mc develop feelings for him added another turning point in the fic!
moving on, the second biggest question i had is the whole hestia!wooyoung and cafe aurora situation. i did a bit of reading on hestia and only found out that she was the goddess of hearth, which might explain the fireplace and the kind of homey feeling to the cafe. and ‘cafe aurora not really existing to most’ part, which was already hinted at wooyoung randomly disappearing, mc never seeing the cafe before or wooyoung only bringing people he wants into it. i get that him inviting mc must suggest her significance to him, but why was he so adamant about his friends not mentioning him or the cafe to mc before that? wooyoung is quite a mysterious character i think, and given that this fic is supposed to be about him, it’s a bit odd that there’s still so many things left unknown, but its kinda cool that way nonetheless and im guessing u would also like to explain that further outside of the story too.
i think my biggest regret about this fic is the fucking summary.... i wrote that summary well before i even started writing the fic thinking it would go in that direction but it didn’t. and since this fic was for a collab, i left the summary as is because i genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out a better one. but i’m trying to figure out a better one. but i really fucking hate the current summary because it’s not at all what the fic is truly about and i hate it.
however, i don’t hate the fic itself, and the reason why i don’t is because i got to play with both my writing style and how i displayed the story. for this collab we were asked to pick a greek god and one of the seven deadly sins, and i selected hestia and sloth. and initially i had intended to have sloth be represented by the reader’s depression, and wooyoung be a more ‘real’ depiction of hestia. i shifted gears very early on in the fic but what it became is moreso abstract realizations in the characters.
san’s character is meant to be this idea of sloth, and it’s mentioned several times that he doesn’t want to move forward, he wants to go slow, he wants to stop moving so fast through life, and those things point to him being a depiction of sloth
wooyoung’s was harder to encapsulate in a more abstract way but you hit the nail on the head really with the homey feeling of the cafe. beyond that, mc talks about just naturally feeling at ease and comfortable with how things are with wooyoung and being around him, and he takes up this role of being the likeable, warm, cozy, comforting character. it all comes to a head in the last scene where he brings both y/n and san into the cafe.
and again wooyoung’s character is meant to be most mysterious and abstract, but if i had had more time to fully flesh out the fic, i think i would have liked to touch more on him. at the same time however i left it more open-ended and open to interpretation. the significance in him inviting mc in and not being mentioned by the others sooner is twofold. one; the others never really had any reason whatsoever to mention wooyoung. he was a friend outside the circle who never joined in with them when mc was around. i personally in my own friendships don’t mention friends outside the circle by name or anything, just kinda vaguely talking about them unless im certain the people know who this person is. the concept of wooyoung having to invite mc in was more nuanced and vague as well, intentionally so, but that was moreso meant to represent this idea of ‘you can’t make a home somewhere where you aren’t invited’ so y/n couldn’t fully make a home of the place she was in without being invited in and welcomed in, but again that’s something i wish i had more time to fully flesh out.
the hongjoong speech about love (and also the interaction with seonghwa after that) deserves a standing ovation of its own 👏 unfortunately, or not, im not actually going through the emotional turmoil regarding love the same way as hj or mc to be able to fully relate to his words, but the whole ‘if you dont love what u see in the mirror then u dont love it’ mentality really hit me hard, and i’d like to hang onto that when i make decisions in the future haha thank you wise caly! seonghwa and hongjoong’s story is also beautiful, and just like mc said, the more i look at it the more it hurts :’)
the hongjoong speech about love was meant to be something very jaded and specific to his worldview. it actually isn’t wholly how i view love personally, but it was a perfect description to how both he and y/n perceived the love in their own lives. mostly thanks to their own emotional turmoils. the mentality of the mirror quote is something that i think i also struggle with, which is why i included it. it’s hard to do, but even in friendships, i think it’s necessarily to stop and look at the person you were before this relationship and then the person during this relationship. if you don’t love the one you are now, then maybe it’s a sign to reflect and see the bigger picture, so that was a lil reminder to myself and i’m glad it touched you as well!!!
“do you love him, or do you love the idea of being in love with him?” - haha i see what u did there (or maybe i didnt please dont laugh at me if i didnt). its still so good everytime i see it bc i keep finding myself loving just the idea of things time and time again even when this makes total sense to me oof :/
heh yeah again with the more abstract concepts this one was more direct and ‘cliche’ but i fully wanted that cliche in the fic because i thought it suited the situation where mc was constantly struggling with a version of san that she thought she loved vs the version of san she got every time they were together
despite how enlightened she seems to be, mc still made the same choices, and i wanna smack her for it and pat her back at the same time. and maybe also bc of the fact that she feels so differently for the two men that i feel like no ending could really justify her decision, so ending in the vague is probably the best. your ending might kind of allude to someone more than the other already, and tho i still don’t think he’s the best one for her based on just my pov on love, i kinda agree with you. but again, this raises the question of, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic?
and yeah the whole knife in the chest at the end of it all is that she was still too scared to face the music so to speak. but really i would say she made the same choices up until the conversation on the balcony with san. and you’re absolutely right, the reason i chose the ending the way i did was because either way, there’s no justification. and actually although it might seems like i was alluding to someone specific, san being in the cafe at the very end was moreso to represent that as much as they fought, he still very much loved her and wanted to be loved by her. it was kinda an open casket ending there were no nails in the coffin, the choice between wooyoung and san still stands and an argument could be made for either of them! i think this is a fic that i could see myself revisiting one day with two endings - one for san, and one for wooyoung.
something i didn’t mention earlier about wooyoung’s character being left intentionally mysterious was that he was representing a new and budding love. the honeymoon phase where you’re falling for someone you don’t even really know. you are the reader aren’t meant to really know who wooyoung is because of that beyond what you read about him, so his past and such was left out intentionally to represent that idea of ‘hey wow im in love with a stranger!’ whereas san was this gritty love that’s bad for you. and there are pros and cons to each just as with anything!!
so,,,, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic? well i picked wooyoung for my collab so he was one of the main focuses of the fic regardless of which direction i took with it. as for why wooyoung wasn’t more forward, i already answered that but !!! i view it as both a wooyoung fic and a san fic. both are highlighted characters with main pairing roles!
i literally just woke up to write this and am going back to sleep ahaha so i apologize if this makes no sense. i somehow felt like i’ve read so much yet so little at the same time, maybe bc there are still so many things i havent fully made sense of, and that’s where i hope you come in and enlighten me. i still stand by my word that this fic deserves so much more recognition despite the lack of explicit smut bc of how much more you’ve explored through character building. love you caly and thank u for working so hard <3 — 🌊
no worries my beloved i hope you go back to sleep and get lots and lots of rest!! and i hope my response helps enlighten the not so clear things as well dgjdklfg but really thank you so much. it was a long fic and hard to get through at times, but as a whole, i’m proud of it and what i created, so thank you for recognizing my efforts and appreciating them 🥺
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lovelykei · 4 years
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Cliches come in three’s✨
Okay maybe I went a bit crazy with this one.. I just got so much information from @i-sleep-like-napoleon  that I couldn’t help but let the inspiration flow. Not to mention I feel really strongly about mental illness and self harming so I really wanted this to make her happy. I can’t do much, I’m just a girl on tumblr writing stories, but if I can make just one person feel better about their body or their scars or just themselves in general. That’s enough for me. This is another flower shop request!  I hope you guys like this one aswell!❣️
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It was too much. Lately things just keep falling apart. Sure maybe some of them were minor inconveniences like your pants ripping yesterday. But we all get overwhelmed when the tide gets too high. Which is why you now found yourself leaning on a tree behind your school. Your eyes fluttered close as you took in your surroundings. The birds, the wind blowing through the trees, the grass swaying back and forth. Within minutes you were knocked out. Around 1 hour later you woke up wrapping your jacket tighter around your body. Your eyes shot open as you looked around frantically, until you saw a familiar bed head. “I didn’t have a jacket so when I pulled it closer to me I got surprised and that’s why I jumped, hey aren’t you in the volleyball club I think I’ve seen you around before” you were rambling. The dark haired male looked at you, his mouth hung open as he kept staring at you. “And now you’re staring it’s because I’m rambling right? Yeah I uhm do that, ramble I mean. Sometimes I just get nervous and /this/ is making me nervous.. it’s like some cliche romcom and...” your rambling was abruptly cut off when the male infront of you let out a hearty laugh. “I am in the volleyball club yes, I’m Kuroo Tetsurou and practice started 5 minutes ago but I didn’t feel comfortable leaving you here by yourself.” He stood up and dusted off his pants before turning and getting ready to leave. “Just give me back the jacket later, we gotta keep the romcom trope going after all” and just like that he was gone. “okay if an animal starts talking to me right now I’m pulling up to school in a princess dress tomorrow” you muttered to yourself before standing up and dusting yourself off.
-
It had already been about one month since you met Kuroo and....you haven’t talked since. So much for you romcom. Infact you hadn’t seen him around at all, you thought about going to the gym to give him his jacket back but..there’s people in the gym. And kuroos jacket was extremely comfortable, since he was so tall the jacket really wrapped your whole body up. Maybe that’s why you were getting punished, karma was coming for you because you stole an innocent mans volleyball club jacket you thought as you looked outside. The sound of the rain hit the windows, harshly reminding you of the umbrella you forgot to bring. When the bell rang you slowly packed your stuff up, there’s no reason to rush out in the rain anyways. But no matter how slowly you moved you were now at the door. The last shield from the pouring rain outside. “Now is when he should show up, this is key point in a romcom, walking home in the rain” you muttered to yourself as you pulled your hood over your head. “You forgot your umbrella? We should come up with a name to our movie already” you turned your head so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. He motioned you closer with a smirk and unwrapped his umbrella. “Let’s go princess, your knight in shining armor is here” you weren’t about to deny the shelter that came with the umbrella. “I’ll have you know I’m n o t a damsel in distress and I could run home in the rain-“
“Oh okay I’ll just go then-“ “hold on you didn’t let me finish. I could run home in the rain but this is important plot development, after this the crush phase starts” you said and grabbed ahold of his arm. “No no the crush phase started after I gave you the jacket” he voiced and opened the door for you guys to go out. “Maybe but then we would’ve had to be simping from a distance, you know seen that at the lunch line or by-“ you were rudely interrupted by the loud crash of thunder booming through the streets. Naturally when someone is scared they will cling onto the nearest thing, that’s just how it works. So there you were practically hanging of off Kuroo. “You’re scared of thunder? So now according to the laws of romcoms I’m obliged to atleast hold your hand-” he paused to wrap an arm under your thighs supporting your body. “But apparently we’re not writing a slow burn so we’re skipping to second half of the movie, where you desperately throw yourself into my arms.” “This thunder won’t last forever and when it stops-..” you muttered against the crook of his neck before once again getting interrupted by the booming sound. A shiver ran down kuroos spine as your breath hit his neck. “Hey we’re in the second half of our romcom, call me Tetsurou” Kuroo wanted to rub your back and tell you everything was gonna be alright, but he still had to cover you guys with the umbrella. Almost as if you could feel his dilemma you spoke up again. “Thank you for calming me down ku-Tetsurou. You can call me y/n”
Since the day you walked home in the rain with kuroo you guys had built some type of relationship. Constantly bumping into eachother in the most cliche ways. Suddenly you’re partners in chemistry class? You didn’t even know you guys had that class together. You got locked in the storage room together, 2am calls became a thing when he found out about your bad sleeping habits. It was one of those 2am calls that led you to your current situation. You and Tetsurou were sitting on your roof, stargazing and talking about everything and anything. “Can you imagine yakus face when he realized lev ran away??” He leaned back, holding himself up with his hands as he laughed. The moonlight shone on him making him seem almost ethereal. His hair fell lazily over his face and his eyes, his hazel eyes shone beautifully as he gazed up at the moon. “What were you doing sleeping by that tree? You know the first time we met” he asked softly and looked at you. A soft smile spread on your face as you recalled that day. “escaping. When reality gets too overwhelming I escape” you replied softly leaning back to look at the stars. “Do you ever..escape in other ways..not by just taking a nap against a tree?” Although his tone was light you could feel an underlying troubled tone. “You shouldn’t ask questions you already have answers to” you whispered back. The stars in the sky suddenly shone just a bit too bright, or atleast that’s what you told yourself when you closed your eyes. 1..2..3..4 you started counting, trying to even out your breathe when you felt Kuroo lift your hand. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. “W what are you doing?” Your voice shaked ever so slightly. “Kissing your scars” “I’ve never seen that in a uhm.. in a romcom” you tried to joke and pull your arm away from him, but he held it firmly. “Then this’ll be the first one, I’m not done yet keep still.” He made his way all the way from your wrist to your shoulder, kissing each scar individually. You were frozen, 6 months ago you never would’ve thought you’d be sitting on your rooftop with the volleyball club captain while he kisses your scars. “T that’s alright Kuroo y you don’t have to keep kissing them im fine now” the words awkwardly fell through your lips. “That was a while ago, I mean.. not thaaat that long ago but still uhm a while ago, sometimes we just do stuff and then the stuff is done and you end up with scars but truly I-“ Fireworks. Butterflies? Fireworks and butterflies? You weren’t too sure what was going on in your heart and tummy. All you knew was that Kuroo Tetsurou was kissing you, his soft lips molded perfectly against yours and you couldn’t help but melt in his embrace. You had never been kissed like this before, with so much love and sincerity. It was addicting, and you never wanted this to stop but eventually you had to pull away. “We’re at the part in the romcom where I can do that right? I can cut you off with a kiss?” His eyes met yours, his forehead was resting against yours and his hand was softly cupping your cheek. “Cliches come in three’s” you whispered against his lips. Kuroo didn’t reply he just made a sound of uncertainty. “Giving me your jacket, walking home in the rain, kissing under the stars our three key cliches” the blood rushes to your cheeks as you were explaining. The quiet that followed did nothing to calm your nerves and you were just about to start over analyzing when his silky voice rang out. “I like that, that’s our movie name then Cliches come in three’s” he placed another innocent peck against your lips before pulled you on top of his chest as he laid down. “Let’s stay like this for a while” Who were you to deny the shelter that came in the form of kuroos arms.
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horansqueen · 4 years
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You & Me : chapter 44
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE
- notes: okayyy so here it is. time passes quicker, and youll see itll be like that in the last few chapters too. i hope you like this one, i hope youll like the last few chapters. im a bit nervous so i hope it’s not too bad! oh yea and i used a manip someone made on instagram, just thought it was cool haha!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : some requests i used here but ill only post them in the next chapter because i don’t want to spoil anything!
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TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE
Chapter 44 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
August 9th, 2018
That was it. We were done with an other season and I couldn't believe what we accomplished. What I accomplished. We had filmed the last scene two days ago, right on time for me to go see Niall perform in LA two nights in a row and the party organised to celebrate the end of this season was scheduled on the first night of his week off.  Everything seemed to fit perfectly together and I was happy. I was genuinely and truly happy.
"Did I tell you how much I missed you?" I heard my boyfriend whisper near my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, making a shiver cross my whole body.
"Mm yes, about a million times in the past 3 days." I replied with a chuckle, tilting my head as he pressed his lips gently on my neck.
I had missed him so much too. We had spent over a month apart and just like I expected, we were even stronger than we were before and that said a lot. We had talked every single day on facetime but it was never the same than to be able to smell him, feel him, taste him... just seeing him face to face was different than on a screen and I had no idea how i'd be able to spend an other 5 weeks separated from him.
"Okay then, did I tell you how good you look tonight?"
I laughed again and turned around in his arms, tilting my chin up to look in his eyes. We were a bit farther from the others, slightly hiding by a part of the wall, and i licked my lips, hoping no one was paying attention to us.
"I'm literally wearing an old pair of jeans that shows how big my ass is and a plain t-shirt." I pointed out. "But thank you."
As if it was a suitable answer, his hands slid from my back to my butt and he squeezed it, making me laugh again.
"I love your ass."
"And in public too?" I asked with an amused smile, my eyebrows raised. "Are you drunk?"
He chuckled and bent down to kiss my lips and i let him, feeling his warm mouth move gently and slowly against mine. No matter how many times we kissed, it always felt amazing, and no one else tasted that good.
"We should go back to the others." I pointed out in a low voice. "They're gonna start wondering where we are."
"Mm, I don't care." he whispered against my lips, making me chuckle low.
"Come on." I just replied, finally taking a step back and tilting my head on the side. "We can cuddle tonight."
We walked back in the room hand in hand and I noticed Dylan looking at us. He sent me a small smile that I answered as I tried to ignore Heidi, sitting next to him. They had been dating for longer than I thought they would and I was wondering if he still thought everything he had told me about her the last time we discussed it. I really thought it was a good thing for him to be with someone else, I just thought it sucked that she was the one he had picked. Still, it was none of my business and I couldn't stop him from inviting her to this party. After all, it was his tv show too, and I owed him a lot. I was well aware that it was more popular because he was the male lead and I knew how lucky I was to act with him.
As soon as we sat down, Heidi and Dylan got up but she left to the other side of the room and he walked to us, sitting in front of my boyfriend. I didn't know if this was about to be awkward but before we could say anything, I heard my phone and frowned. I grabbed it quickly and excused myself, knowing it was even more awkward that I left my boyfriend and my ex boyfriend together.
"Hey Louis, you're calling at a very weird moment." I just said with a smile.
"That's me specialty, love." he let out as a joke, making me chuckle. "You mom tried to call you apparently, but she couldn't reach you so she called my phone. Sweet sweet lady with an incredibly strong accent. It always surprises me."
I rolled my eyes but a smile still drew itself on my lips. "What did she want?"
"She said it was not urgent but she wanted to talk to you, make sure you're not dead or something."
I raised my nose up. "Don't joke with that."
"Sorry love, I didn't mean to bring back... that memory." he apologized after a few seconds of silence. "She doesn't know though, does she?"
"No, only you, me, Niall, and I'm guessing El?"
"Olivia, I didn't tell that to anyone, not even El." Louis admitted, making me smile fondly. "This is no one's business but yours. I promise to keep that secret forever."
"Thank you, Lou." I whispered before swallowing.
I hated to remember that moment of weakness I had, even if I knew it was part of why I was who and where I was today. I really had to hit rock bottom to kick myself up and finally breathe again. If my relationship with Niall was so strong now, it was partly because I had worked on myself and although I knew I still had work to do, I was stronger than I used to be when I first dated Niall. Of course, swallowing all the pills I could find was not my smartest or strongest moment but I was trying to forgive myself.
"Oh you want to hug me right now don't you?" Louis joked, making me laugh through my tears. "I know you!"
I laughed and wipe my eyes quickly before licking my lips. "Yea, I drank a bit too so it doesn't help. I'll text you soon, Lou."
"You better. Love you, queen."
I smiled fondly at the nickname and closed my eyes. "Love you too."
I hung up and texted my mom quickly before going back to the table. Dylan was now sitting next to Niall and it made me frown. I knew they were both a bit tipsy and I didn't want anything bad to happen between them. Gladly, I knew Niall was not into confrontation and Dylan was quite laid-back too. Plus, he was probably over me by then and if they could just accept each other's company, it would be enough for me. I didn't expect them to become close friends, of course, but It would be nice if it wasn't awkward between them anymore.
"Oh and that small.. whimper or whisper she makes when you slip your hand in her panties." I heard Niall comment before Dylan chuckled.
"Right." he agreed, shaking his head gently. "And she's always so ready too."
A tiny part of me wanted to stay and listen to what they were going to say but the part of me that was angry was definitely bigger. I took a step closer but held my breath when Dylan started talking again.
"Let's say it's different than Heidi."
"No man, I ain't going there." Niall laughed while shaking his head before taking a sip of his beer.
"No, I mean, Heidi is very sexy but it's that... that connection, you know?" I frowned and my lips parted when Niall laughed again.
"I don't want to hear about the 'connection' you had with my girlfriend, O'Brien." he pointed out, turning his almost empty beer with his fingers.
"No yea, I know. I just mean that... it's different when you love someone."
"Are you two really comparing how Heidi and I are in bed?"
Both of them jumped so high I thought they were about to fall off their chairs. I wanted to look at their reaction but I decided to focus on my boyfriend and when he turned around, his face changed and I could read fear in his eyes. I crossed my arms on my chest and shook my head, licking my lips.
"That's fucking disgusting. I don't deserve that, and Heidi doesn't either."
This time, I read surprise in Niall's eyes and glanced at Dylan who seemed as shocked as my boyfriend. Oh I still didn't like Heidi, but that didn't mean it was okay for them to discuss about how she was in bed.
"Just because both of you had the chance to fuck us both doesn't give you the right to share gossips about us." I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my anger inside and breathed in deeply. "That's fucking wrong."
I turned on my heels and left before I stopped and turned around again to look at them. "I'm mad at you both, by the way, if that wasn't clear enough."
I walked quickly to my dressing room and closed the door before holding myself against the counter, closing my eyes. I was torn between being mad that they could easily talk about me like that and being relieved that they could actually talk to each other without it being awkward. After a few minutes, I heard a knock at the door and thinking it was probably one of them, I swung the door open but my face changed when I noticed my assistant. My lips curled and I raised my eyebrows a bit surprised.
"You left quickly, are you okay?" she asked, concern written all over her face.
I made a quick head movement to incite her to walk in and closed the door behind her before we both sat down, her on the couch and me on a chair. Tinka was fairly new since my old assistant had to leave due to a pregnancy and we immediately bounded. She was gorgeous and I had to admit I was a bit jealous of her, not only for her looks but also for the way she attracted people easily and all that charisma she had probably inherited at birth, but at the same time, I felt connected to her too and I could never hate her.
"Okay so, I wanted to show you something. I mean at first I was not sure if I should, because I shouldn't have filmed it in first place, but..." she blabbed nervously before shaking her head. "I'll just show you."
She took her phone and clicked on a few things before handing it to me. I frowned, taking it cautiously before noticing she was showing me a video. I clicked on play and my eyes got bigger when I noticed Niall, sitting at the cafeteria as Heidi sat down in front of him. The first part of the conversation was hard to hear but Niall seemed confused and when she handed him a sheet of paper, I frowned again. He stared at what was written on it and finally, she put her hand on top of his and I felt my heart jump high in my throat. The second part of the conversation though, I heard it very clearly.
“You’re right. We should get back together, Niall.” Heidi said with a soft voice. “I mean, I know you’re trying to make me jealous with her but let’s be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"
This time, my heart sank in my chest and I swallowed hard. I was worth more than Heidi gave me credits for, I knew it now, but I also knew she would never see it. Perhaps, she was too busy trying to win Niall back.
“Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I’m with Liv and.. aren’t you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I’m not trying to make anyone jealous, I’m just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved… the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?"
I bit my bottom lip, breathing in deeply again and trying to suppress a small smile of relief when I heard my boyfriend's words. The fact that he admitted that he failed to love me right the first time made something stir in my stomach. I knew that failed relationship was not just on him, but it was nice to hear him admit that, especially to someone else.
“Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!” she argued with him.
I saw Niall roll his eyes and his next words were as harsh as the tone he had used.
“I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn’t about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!” he let out rudely. “I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck’s sake, Heidi! What’s the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I’m sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone.”
The video stopped but I still stared at the screen, lost in my thoughts, until Tinka talked again.
"I don't know why i recorded this, and I know I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." she apologized again. "But it was recorded anyway so I mean, why not show it to you?"
I just stared at the thumbnail of the video again before clicking on the 'delete' button and when it asked me if I was sure, I clicked on 'yes' without hesitation.
"Thanks, Tinka. I deleted it." I finally said, looking up at her before she nodded. "But thank you for showing me. Just... don't do that again, please. Niall and I we're both very... private."
I handed her her phone back just as an other knock was heard at the door. We both got up and I opened the door as she walked past Niall. He nodded at her and finally turned back to me, his hands in his pockets. I couldn't help but tilt my head, glancing down at him, telling myself once again how good he looked. I also couldn't stop thinking about the way he had told Heidi he loved me and it made me want to hug him.
"Olivia, I'm.. so sorry."
I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows, expecting more than just a simple apology.
"You're right. It was so wrong, and we shouldn't have." he added, making me lick my lips. "We were literally trying to find something to talk about, and it was so awkward... the only thing we really have in common is you. But we shouldn't have."
I let my shoulders fall and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. "So I really make some sort of whimper when you slip your hand in my panties?"
He chuckled and took one of his hands out of his pocket to pass it in his hair. "Yea, you do. But I'm slightly jealous knowing you also whimper like that when he did it. I thought I was special."
"Oh, poor little boy thought he was special." I joked, making him grimace too. "Come here."
I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him inside before closing the door behind him. He was close to me, so close I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine, and when my ass met the counter, I smiled more. He chuckled as he stared down in my eyes and shook his head slightly.
"Do you forgive me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Mm, maybe."
I felt his hand slip in my jeans and panties and my eyes fluttered slightly as my lips parted as I let lout a whimper despite myself.
"And now?" he asked, clearly amused by the effect he had on me.
"I'll tell you in a few minutes." I whispered, tilting my chin up to look at him better.
I felt two of his fingers brush gently on my clit before he slipped them inside me. I moved one of my legs up on the counter and he moved closer to me, bending down slightly until his lips were only a few inches away from mine.
"You're all mine, yea?" he whispered, making me bite my bottom lip. "Say it."
"Mm, I'm all yours Niall." I breathed out, blinking a few times. "I belong to you."
"Fuck yes you do."
He started fingering me quickly, making sure his palm was rubbing against my clit and when I felt an orgasm spread all over my body, I let my head fall back and shook slightly as he pressed his mouth against mine. I could feel his lips curl as I came and I finally got down from my high, whimpering low and wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Okay, I forgive you." I whispered, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before moving my head slightly back. "Do you think that's how Dylan will want to be forgiven too?"
I laughed lightly at the face he made and I heard him groan low. "I'll kill him."
I shook my head a bit and my amused smile turned into a fond one. "You know, I never ever moaned his name." I admitted, licking my lips. "I only do that with you."
He looked happy with my confession but he still raised his eyebrows. "Why?"
"Because... I was always scared I'd moan your name instead."
His face changed and somehow, I could read love in his eyes and it made me swallow hard. He remained silent and my lips parted again.
"I've never stopped loving you, Niall." I murmured. "I told you."
"Guess what, Olivia?" he let out in a soft tone, his eyes roaming quickly on my face. "I never stopped loving you either."
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                                                      ----
August 15th, 2018
Dylan had stopped me before I left and had apologized to me profusely. He even texted me the next day to apologize again and I forgave him immediately. Maybe it was because I felt a bit guilty for not telling him about the video Tinka had showed me where his girlfriend was blatantly trying to get back with my boyfriend, but It was easy to forgive him and I knew he felt horrible about it. I was still unsure if I should tell him and at the same time, I didn't want to be the reason of their break-up, or even of a fight so I deciced to ignore it for now but that didn't stop me from feeling bad.
It was almost time for Niall to go back on tour and I felt extremely nervous about it. It had taken me about a week to decide on what I would do. I wanted to go with him but at the same time, I didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend who followed him everywhere. With time, I realized that I could follow him without going back to my old habits but I still had no idea how to tell him. He hadn't mentioned it again, probably because he didn't want to sound pushy or make me feel like I had to follow him, but my insecurity sometimes tried to make me believe it was because he didn't really want to spend so long with me.
"Why did you want me to come with you, Louis?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and turning to him as he was parking. "You know it's one of my last few days with Niall."
Louis laughed and shook his head, turning to me to look in my eyes.
"We both know you're gonna follow him on tour, Liv. Who are you trying to fool?" he said, his accent thick. "You can spend a few hours with your best friend, can't ya?"
I felt my heart skip a beat at how well Louis knew me, sometimes even better than I knew myself, and I realized that I had opened up to him like I had never opened up with anyone else besides Niall. And I didn't regret it at all.
"Yes. You're right."
"Look," he started again, turning on his seat to look at me. "I have something for you."
He searched through his pockets and handed me a well-folded piece of paper, which was surprising. Normally, anything that ended up in Louis' pocket was crumpled or crushed. I frowned a bit and took it before unfolding it gently and carefully.
"I drew it meself. Took me hours."
My lips parted as I looked at the drawing of a crown. It was pretty and he clearly had put a lot of effort into it. It was not perfect, but I thought that's what made it look even more special.
"Wow, Louis... this is..."
"I made it for you." he cut me gently. "If you wanted to get a tattoo, that is. It represents you well, don't ya think?"
I looked up in his eyes and weirdly, I could read stress, like he was not sure how i'd react. The fact that Louis always called me his queen, and that he had even written a song about me with that word made this drawing even more important for me and as soon as his eyes met mine, I knew it would be impossible for me not to get this tattoo.
"I think it represents you, actually." I explained, tilting my head and looking at him. "This tattoo will always remind me of you, and I want you to know that you're important to me, Louis. I would be dead without you. Literally."
His lips curled slightly on the right and stress disappeared from his traits.
"Now you need to draw something for me to get, too." he pointed out.
"Wait, so we're here to get you a tattoo that I would draw?" I asked as  his smile turned into a smirk.
"Exactly."
"Can it be simple? I can't draw for shit." I admitted with a grimace.
"Just draw it, give it to the artist, and I'll look at it when it's done."
I stared at him for a few seconds, feeling my heartbeats accelerate and after a while, I breathed in and out. After all, if he didn't like it, he could always get something over it, right?
It took half an hour to get the crown tattooed on my ankle but only about 10 minutes to get the smiley I had drawn for Louis. It was pretty simple with x's instead of eyes and since it was on his wrist, he kept his eyes closed the whole time to make sure it wouldn't ruin the surprise. We walked back to his car in silence about an hour later and sat down, both of us leaning against our seats.
"Is it too simple?" I asked before he turning his head my way with a smile.
"No, it's perfect."
I smiled back at him and held my hand up between us. It took him a few seconds but he finally grabbed it, intertwining his fingers with mine and squeezing my hand.
"Thank you for saving my life." I let out in a soft voice. "Literally, but also metaphorically."
"You saved mine, too."
                                                       ---
When I walked back in Niall's house... I mean, in our house... I heard him talk and frowned, trying to be quiet in case he was on the phone. I saw him in front of his laptop, just talking to the screen and it took me a few minutes to realize he was probably on a live chat on instagram. I made sure to remain silent and walked to the kitchen to gt myself a glass of wine and leaned against the counter. I listened to what he was saying from the living room, smiling and chuckling from time to time until I heard him say his goodbyes. I wanted an other minute or two, knowing Niall was the kind of person who said bye by stayed an other half an hour with his hand on the doorknob before actually leaving and when I joined him in the living room, he was getting up.
"Are you done?"
"Yes, sorry, I thought it would take you longer." he apologized, making me smile.
"No, it's all good, it's cool that you do lives for your fans." I just shrugged, joining him near the couch. "Your such a good person."
He smiled more and took the glass from my hands before placing it on the coffee table. I chuckled and he wrapped his arms around my waist, raising his eyebrows.
"And does that turn you on?"
I laughed some more. "Maybe."
He didn't answer anything. Instead, he pressed his lips against mine as his arms pulled me even closer. My eyes fluttered close as he deepened the kiss and I sighed low, feeling my body relax in his arms.
"I'm gonna miss you so much." he whispered before kissing me some more,
"I'll miss you more."
He stepped forward, forcing me to take a step back, and guided us around the couch and until the hall. I ended up hitting my back on the wall and I laughed against his lips.
"Clumsy ass." he said in the same amused tone he always said it. "I love you."
We finally ended up in our room and he closed the door with one of his feet, bringing me to the bed and quickly putting himself on top of me. I loved the feeling of his body over mine, warming me, and it always surprised me that every time, it would make a shiver cross my back. I shivered in his arms and he pulled away slightly to look in my eyes.
"How about we stay locked here until I have to take that fucking stupid plane?"
I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted before I tilted my chin up. "Don't you have somewhere to be tomorrow?"
"I canceled." he admitted, his eyes dropping to my lips before he ground his hips against mine, probably without thinking.
"For me?" I asked with a small smile.
"For us."
I brought my hands to his cheeks and let one of my thumbs brush on his bottom lip. "How many times are you gonna make love to me until you leave?"
His lips curled again and he chuckled low. "As many times as I can."
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