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#and i havent really seen panels that tell me that. let them be silly and awkward and fuck up. even if it makes them less sexy for a moment
lazycranberrydoodles · 8 months
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the people in the tags understand me. starembers art is super pretty but also weird at times.
#xie lian has been doing manual labor for a living (breaking boulders on his chest WITH NO SPIRITUAL ENERGY brick laying farming etc)#im anti twink xie lian#also i dont think he should have mxtx protagonist snowy white skin. maybe as a sheltered prince. but he has been planting rice for years.#AT LEAST GIVE HIM A TAN#and hua cheng died as a malnourished 17 year old (he has been working out since then but i still prefer skinnier headcanons).#why does everybody have light eyes (even putting aside the colorism in the novel.)#why does xie lian have this wide-eyed-lips-parted-blank look and hua cheng have bedroom eyes all of the time#(not that they can't necessarily make these expressions but augh.)#why are they tall as fuck in every full body shot#why are their hands so big.#again i don't want to put any opinions in an actual post because i havent read the comic and it might be different than i think#but just based on the art ive seen... theyve been very yaoified. thats the best word i have#even by the point the manhua has reached (lqq arc iirc)#they've been having sincere and vulnerable moments#and i havent really seen panels that tell me that. let them be silly and awkward and fuck up. even if it makes them less sexy for a moment#and also?? xie lian (again just based off the art) seems to have lost a lot of agency?#he is a 'go with the flow' guy but he is also pretty situationally aware and clever#but the vibes i get are that he gets wide-eyedly dragged from plot point to plot point#(in the case where hua cheng slung him over his shoulder literally??)#(he would not fucking do that book 1.)#please correct me if i'm wrong#i'll probably get around to reading the manhua faster if someone tells me theyre more in character than i think they are#lmao#if you love the manhua disregard me.#not art#to delete l8er#(possibly)#(if i turn out to be wrong about this which is possible)#(or if someone decides they are very emotionally invested in my medium intensity feelings)
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firstpuffin · 5 years
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The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening remake
-Note: It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but my comments around the visuals of A Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening are straight-up incorrect. The two games did not share the same visual style and I honestly don’t know why I said that; I most definitely knew better. Still, I’m not going to get rid of it because the internet needs more examples of people admitting to be being wrong.
I say a lot that I want to be positive, but it’s really gonna be hard with this one. See, at the latest Nintendo Direct it was announced that they would be releasing a remake of the 26 year old game, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. As it happens I was already considering writing something about this game in a “Games from my Childhood” article, but that would actually have been positive! This one is… well, I’m going to at least try and balance every negative with a positive.
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-at least the title screen looks good-
  So where to begin: I won’t cover the story because spoilers but how about some personal background? The game came out a year before I did (ha! bad jokes) and I have no idea when I got my grubby little paws on it, but it was a part of my life genuinely for as long as I can remember, along with the Pokémon games. I never completed it as a child, but my memories of it were so good that I returned to it as an adult and completed it, learning its sad secret.
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-hey! according to this it released the same year I did; me getting my years mixed up I guess-
  Link’s Awakening (LA) was originally a pet project made outside of work hours which is why it borrows resources from other games such as the Mario series, but it was eventually released to critical acclaim. The gameplay is much the same as its immediate predecessor A Link to the Past (LttP), but with a number of new items and a unique soundtrack. Visually it is much the same as well, although its original release was black and white for the GameBoy with Link’s Awakening DX adding colour for the GameBoy Colour.
  So let’s start with the visuals as that is most of what we have right now: the original shared its visuals with LttP what with them using the same assets (tools, resources etc) and LttP had a sequel recently that looked really nice. But the upcoming LA remake looks nothing like it; I wouldn’t expect it to but when a defence of the artistic choice is that “it’s an update of the original graphics” (so why not use the assets from the LttP remake?) or that it somehow “reflects the atmosphere of the original” except there’s no reason for it to be any different to, again, the LttP remake. And in response to the “atmosphere”, LA was one of the darker yet in some ways more whimsical games; this new style is childish to the extreme.
  Don’t get me wrong, I love something that is good and childish, but there is a level when it stops being great and starts to feel like they condescend to the player. Bright colours, simple faces, high pitched noises- Oh god the noises!! I’ll expand on the sounds later but I’m still on the visuals. I’ve heard the game described as looking like Claymation, which isn’t wrong, but my immediate thought was that it looked like cheap plastic. And after watching it again and again as I discussed it with a friend, this opinion stuck.
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-tell me this doesn’t look like claymation; this isn’t a game, it’s an animated short film-
  You know how shiny and tacky cheap plastic usually looks? Imagine an entire game like that; an entire world like that. Fans of anime may understand what I say next, but there is a large element of “chibi” in this new game. Large head, tiny body. It’s often seen in short 4 minute spin offs of popular series.
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-as you can see, chibi is hardly meant to be taken seriously-
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-just to hammer things home-
  So shiny plastic, silly chibi art with a soulless expression. Oh yeah, that. Link’s eyes have zero soul behind them. Zero. He’s a freakin’ monster. Have you seen those Funko Pops? You know how empty they look? Some have said it somehow reflects the original game’s art again, but back then they didn’t have the technology to make him look soulless and young me always thought he looked determined; it was really cool.
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-determined; dead inside-
Okay, so I said I would try and be fair, and I have shat upon the plasticine toy-box long enough, so here’s what is good visually. The areas are actually really nice. 
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Ignoring the nail varnish sheen on everything, things are really detailed. There is an unfortunate trend in games, likely due to technical limitations, to have flat textures. Basically, imagine the difference between a tile or wood panel floor, and a picture of a tile or wood panel floor. But this game looks to have really tried in these areas. The grass looks thick and lush, tiles look like more than a photograph on the floor and even the flat flowers on the ground look decent. Just a shame it all looks like LEGO. Actually, a LEGO Zelda game would be awesome. But this is not that.
  I haven’t explained that very well, it’s an area that I am new at but I will say that clearly a lot of care has gone into the assets and the world. It is not a lazy game in any way.
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-don’t tell me those trees and rocks and- well, everything, don’t look like LEGO-
Next I’m going to talk about the sound. First of all, I’m convinced that they have artificially increased the pitch of Link’s voice so it is painfully sharp to the ears. I’ll admit, I have an unusual sensitivity to lights and sound and thus I prefer darker colours and quieter sounds; I avoid clubs like the plague and not just because I’ll likely catch it there. So maybe, just maybe, I’m noticing something that won’t be a problem for most, and is just unfortunate for me. And let’s ignore that it doesn’t match the darker tone of the game.
  And the music? Also quite high pitched. And super cheery. It doesn’t have either the dreamlike or dark tones that could be expected (and just thinking of how it could be dreamlike gives me shivers; it could be so good) but is instead inanely cheery. In fact, I hope they sped everything up for the trailer and the pitch is just an unfortunate side-effect.
  On the plus side, the trailer opens with a cool cinematic and I swear the music changes from a nice, cheerful rendition (I don’t dislike cheerful in-and-of-itself) of the Zelda main theme to the death squeals of various instruments that I mentioned before. On top of that, it ends on a really nice vocal version of the LA theme, Ballad of the Wind Fish. If the trailer had been the cinematic and that closing song alone then I would be beyond excited about the remake. Thank heaven it wasn’t, I’m not sure my love of the series could survive such a plummeting disappointment.
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-and here’s the actual trailer for your perusal- 
So I’ll finish here. I was originally very pleased, excited even that they had decided to remake what was a favourite, underrated and apparently forgotten game, but I kept my expectations low because I knew what to expect from these companies. I thought I did anyway. I was still disappointed. I thought I had prepared for the worst. Still, at least it gave me something to write about.
  But, the game has clearly had a lot of work put into it and gameplay-wise it actually looks to flow really well so I’m sure it controls like a treat. But the visuals and music are too big of a deal for me to let slide; if it keeps up like this then it could literally be painful for me to play. Still, games do change a lot from the initial trailer to its release and I even put forth an idea of why the sound may hurt me so much here. Maybe the final game will be a lot better. Unfortunately, the things I want to be done in games and such rarely are, and I am often alone in my complaints.
And finally, yes I am aware that the famous and incredibly popular Wind Waker entry in the series also had similar complaints and became, as I said, incredibly popular. I wasn’t a part of that crowd, I was too young and honestly, Link’s Awakening was the only Zelda game I had actually played at that time. 
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charlyoddsox27 · 6 years
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its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?
here goes
(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)
~~~
~~1. Medic~~
reasons for being my favourite:
• fucking. look. at. him. 👌
• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it
• cute-ass german accent
• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY
• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?
• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)
• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .
• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.
~~2. Spy~~
reasons for being my second favourite:
• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood
• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.
• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)
• masks are hot tbFH--
• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)
• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend
• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"
• "SEDUCE ME."
• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen
• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.
• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.
• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)
~~3. Pyro~~
reasons for being my third favourite:
• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.
• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.
• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌
• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.
• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)
• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?
• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.
• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.
• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.
• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.
• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.
~~4. Soldier~~
look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.
• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.
• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."
• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*
• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.
• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.
• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart
• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*
~~5. Demoman~~
• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.
• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.
• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.
• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.
• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.
• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.
~~6. Sniper~~
• underrated
• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.
• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"
• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music
• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT
• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.
• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.
• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.
• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.
• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word
• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.
~~7. Heavy~~
I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/
• loveable as fuck
• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic
• i looove Russian accents omfg
• he like big gun. i can respect that.
• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit
• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."
• actually smarter than people give him credit for???
• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.
• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌
• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable
~~8. Engineer~~
• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......
• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.
• smoothest voice in the west
• "y'all"
~~9. Scout~~
oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.
• shitboy
• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way
• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.
• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.
~~~
hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)
so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.
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