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#and i just keep editing it to add those things
bikini-kill-pilled · 3 days
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im really interested in the revival of riot grrrl; i think its absolutely possible for it to make a comeback, and i could even argue that it never actually went away...i mean, its definitely lost a bit of its edge, but their are bands coming out in its genre and they keep the spirit alive. anyway, the essential thing for the revival is that riot grrrl fixes its previous mistakes. i hate when people try to trivialize its importance because i do think it made a difference in the small span of time that it was really popular, but the main issues were how whitewashed it was, how it mostly focused on middle/upper suburban women, and how it (in my opinion mostly) centered a lot around reclaiming femininity, thereby neglecting gnc women who don't WANT to reclaim it. i found a cool article on black women in the feminist punk movement--specifically how they made their own movement, sista grrrl riot--and these quotes stood out to me. this ones by musician tamar kali brown:
"Being in this urban jungle, I was a different type of girl. I was hearing what they were saying, but I was living in an environment where people were getting stabbed. Riot Grrrl felt like a bubblegum expression. I was bald, and I would get a lot of negative attention that bordered on violence, so I wasn't in the world of [baby voice] 'You just think I can't play because I'm a girl!'
and this one by laronda davis:
"I never looked at a magazine and thought that that was what I was supposed to look like. On one hand, it's actually kind of liberating to not be what this standard of womanhood is. That standard put a lot of women in boxes, and they spend their li[ves] trying to get out of the box. Black women were never allowed in the box. I wasn't looking at TV saying, 'Oh, that represents me.' I wasn't listening to music telling about my experience. I had experiences that told me I wasn't concerned with these things that the happy songs were about."
(article here)
all in all i think what riot grrrl needs to change is its idea of a universal female childhood in their songs that we can all relate to. it kind of sucks to say but really all women do have in common are the stereotypes we're given, and when punk women criticized and defied those stereotypes they really shone; i was reading that people called kathleen hanna writing "slut" on her stomach white feminism and i was like....err. sexualization is something all women are subjected to. i've just been in a bit of a rabbit hole which started when i researched the history of trans people in riot grrrl, then to modern times when i found a claim that kathleen hanna had stopped using the line "all girls to the front" and edited her riot grrrl manifesto, and finally ended here with me thinking "man, riot grrrl's spirit is needed now more than ever, but like we need to make it WAAAAYYY better so it actually works out". the good news is, like i said, it hasn't actually faded out of mainstream consciousness.
i might add on to this in later posts. sorry if it's messy.
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khaire-traveler · 2 days
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🪻 Subtle Hyakinthos Worship 🌱
Pick flowers; press or dry them
Start a garden; tend to a plant
Grow your own herbs or produce
Keep a picture of him in your wallet
Wear jewelry that reminds you of him
Get a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)
Make a flower crown, especially with Laurel leaves included
Drink an herbal/flower tea (SAFELY!!!); add some honey to it
Support environmental preservation or LGBT rights organizations
Have imagery of swans, flowers, hyacinths, an iris or larkspur (sources believe one of these are the original flower mentioned in myth), the sun/sunlight, or rebirth (maybe spring) around
Have a stuffed animal swan or any animal you associate with rebirth
Express yourself in little ways if you can't be fully open; a bracelet that represents your gender, pride flag colored shoelaces, etc.
If you have a partner, buy or pick flowers for them; buy or pick flowers for yourself
Pick up trash in your environment
Try spring cleaning; tidy up your space
Take a self-care bath/shower, especially with herbs or flower petals
Make a list of things that made you smile throughout the day/week, big or small
Talk a walk/hike in nature; walk through a field of flowers or an area with lots of flowers
Put up a sugar water feeder for pollinators, such as hummingbirds, butterflies, and bees
Fall asleep/meditate to the sounds of nature - bird songs, forest ambiance, etc.
Take regular breaks from screens; be sure to get some fresh air
Learn about the local flora
Try foraging (SAFELY!!!)
Practice compassion towards others as well as yourself
Donate fresh fruits and vegetables to soup kitchens and homeless shelters (if the shelters accept perishables)
Get some movement throughout your day, even if it's just stretching your muscles
Eat three meals a day; try to eat well if able
Stay hydrated; drink lots of water
Take your medications, if any
Try herbal/natural remedies for MINOR health problems; stomaches, headaches, sore throats, etc.
Take some time to bask in the sunlight
Get accustomed to the idea of change; without change, we cannot progress
Keep a self-love and self-growth journal; write about your feelings (positive and negative), treat yourself with understanding, write ways you've changed throughout the month, etc.
Engage in comforting activities after a hard day; engage in self-care
Engage with childhood media; get in touch with the younger part of yourself
Get comfortable with the idea of growing older; to be human is to grow old; to grow old is not a bad thing
Be kind to children; play with them if offered
Dance/sing to music, especially music that makes you feel free, wild, young, or happy
Recycle when you can; try to make/use your own compost
Leave flowers on graves (ask permission from the cemetery first!!!)
Make your own cookies, pastries, breads, etc.; try to use natural ingredients
Give out handmade pastries, cookies, breads, etc. to loved ones and those in need
Try to ground yourself in nature; stand in a green landscape with bare feet (if safe); focus on the fresh air coming into and out of your lungs, the peaceful sounds near you, etc.
Be gentle with yourself, especially if you're having a difficult time; treat yourself as you would treat a loved one - someone extremely near and dear to your heart
Open your windows, blinds, curtains, etc. on a sunny day; let the light or fresh air in
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This is my life of discreet ways to worship Hyacinthus! I found this list a bit challenging, mostly due to the stress I'm dealing with offline, so I'll likely make edits to it in the future. In the meantime, I hope someone finds this helpful! Take care! 💜
Link to Subtle Worship Master list
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mattodore · 3 months
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playing with dionte's hair bc i'm procrastinating
#river dipping#dionte duval#lykos#ts4#i do really love how dionte and nicholas kinda have a b4b (bald for bald) thing going on.... but that first hair........#he looks so good... the urge to keep it is gonna make me develop a twitch under my eye...#i love the shadows the locs add btw like i personally loveee when hair creators add shading#like the DRAMAAA it adds!!!#also don't look too closely at him here bc i actually haven't updated him yet hence no proper edit of him (tho i probably won't change much#i'm really just supposed to be cleaning out the hundreds!! of duplicate households in my library dkhjnkfgh i just. get so distracted#i also have to fix mattodore's households bc i think i accidentally deleted the updated version of them at 20...#like there are multiple other saves?? but they're all with matthias's old chin??? like literally WHERE did the updated version go#so i need to clean out my library from the top down and fix their sims#i really messed my sleep schedule up the day before yesterday when i was working on those edits of delphi btw#but i did enjoy rewatching secretary and watching charade while staying up all night to do them <3#also listened to the first two chapters of freedom is a constant struggle! editing may take me forever but i do do other things as i do it#...........talking a lot in these tags bc i'm seriously procrastinating jdkhnf i do NOT ! want to clean through my library it's a mess#OH. ALSO GOOD MORNING I FORGOT TO SAY THAT ‼️#seeing this again two days later and seeing the amount of notes....... y'all weren't meant to reblog this kjhdkfjhndkjgnh#now i'm like damn... is there any reason to make his intro edit like i did for ria and delphi 😭😭😭😭😭
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warlordfelwinter · 9 months
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bat ellwood doodle bc i've just been daydreaming about the day when i finally manage to play this goddamn card game and wanted to kind of think about what they might look like
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bo0zey · 2 years
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mentally ILL?? more like mentally LLIving my best life😎😎😎😎
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don’t @ me but I HATE how gold, red and purple are technically a nice color palette but are also the worst color palette
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qeyond · 11 months
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does anyone know if theres a death note discord? nothing too huge... like if its 500+ ACTIVE ppl ill probably be too scared to say anything... but I think it'd be fun :3!
Please only adult/19+ servers. I'm NOT looking for nsfw exclusive servers, tho there being nsfw channels is totally fine, I would just feel more comfy in a server with no minors. <3
or... if anyone with some experience running servers and wants to collab, I'd be down to help build a discord! I think it'd be a great way to share art and wips and fanfics and joke around and make friends!
I will be honest and say I CANNOT be an interpersonal/confrontational/dispute type mod tho, so if there are ppl that are more suited for that, that would be perfect! :3
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nomaishuttle · 7 months
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comparison (new on left old on right)
#As you can see i was mainly working ln fixing the distortion on the poles i did get a bittt carried away and add like a ton of oand but its#ok. also i did the math and its sitting at abt 40:60 land water ratio#rly its 41:59 but 40 60 is far easier#ive also still got to add rivers.. i have a few lakes as you can see but i haven't gone through and added rivers yet#ill probably have to do mountains first then rivers....#ive also been thinking abt making a sideblog solely for worldbuilding posts but im shy LOL so itd probably judt be 4 me#i wouldnt be opposed to sharing it with anybody whos interested i just dont think anybody rly is...#im also working more on the language its kiiiind of rly frustrating me..#i also have gaught to add a new island in the middle of the ocean bc ive been thinking while at work. but idk if i Actually want to use#those thoughts 4 this or keep them seperate.. whatevrr#but yeah. as mentioned the edits arent perfect yrt theyre kind of difficult to do 😭😭 map to globe doesnt allow you to draw directly On#the globe and the umm. sketch thing they have is kind of rlly annoying#like you can colorpick Once. but after that you have to reload the page to colorpick again#+ the likee. drawing you do on it is super artifacted and weird... + theres no way to just get the finished image idt. i may be wrong#but yes. anyways if i do make the sodeblog i wanna name it after the world but the issue is the world doesnt have a name 💀#and to make the name i need to work on the primary conlang some more 😭😭😭 but its frustrating me i think its bc i started with the#written form which like. every guide im looking at says you shouldnt do that 💀#so i might just scrap it and start from the ground up
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marypsue · 1 year
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I had been thinking about rereading the road goes ever on to make a list of all the movie references I put in (which is coming shortly). The conversation I had on here (with possibly two different anons?) about how I wished I’d had more time to develop the final chapter and whether I’d go back and make edits to that chapter now that it’s published lit a fire under me to actually do that reread. I finished it tonight, and discovered that, now that I’ve got enough distance from the fic to read it more from the perspective of a reader than from the perspective of a writer working on editing a WIP, there’s really only one thing about the final chapter that I’d actually want to change: 
I never put a scene in the epilogue that shows that Kali’s still occasionally posing as Conners and working (possibly with Owens’ help) to sabotage any further attempts by the government to keep the whole ‘kidnapping psychics’ thing going or to open a new Gate. 
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nejackdaw · 7 days
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morthal and markarth for the skyrim asks!
Ty for the ask! 💞
Morthal - Do you enjoy exploring dungeons and ruins? Why or why not?
Kinda depends tbh. Dungeons with multiple rooms absolutely FULL of enemies encourage a more stealthy approach, and while I'm a capable stealth archer, it's not my preferred play style, so it can be a bit unfun. The alternative, however, is the ENTIRE DUNGEON hearing me engage in melee and swarming me at once, which. Also isn't fun. Ultimately I guess the answer comes down to "depends on the number of guys in there" and "how likely is Marked For Death to solve the entire issue?" Skyrim is basically the only game where, when given a choice, I'll choose martial over caster or archer, but this can be a problem in packed dungeons. I like single or few guy brutal slugfests where we just beat the shit out of each other. Also then I can just take a break to throw up my shield and watch Celann materialize to OHKO them, which fills me with glee literally every time
Markarth - If you could rewrite one questline in Skyrim, which would it be? (This answer is sooooo long btw)
Hmm... I'm actually not too interested in a lot of them, but when it comes to being disappointed in one, it's the Civil War questline. The entire thing amounts to "use your main character powers about 5 times in a dungeon or something and then go fight the oppositional leader." You can't even fix Whiterun, a place you specifically took for its geographical, strategic, and mercantile advantage. You just leave it in ruins???
There are two quests in the entire line that aren't just "awkwardly storm this place with a couple guys,' and one of them is optional. Both sides have a "steal/plant enemy orders" quest, but the "gaining intel/blackmail" quest is in both cases entirely optional. There's one non-combative "sneak and find this document/gather intel" quest, and no "root out a traitor" or "disrupt a supply line" type quests (technically this one is awkwardly tacked onto the end of the optional quest.) The Dark Brotherhood, Dawnguard, and Thieves Guilds have similar respective quests that we can compare to the 1.5 non-combative Civil War quests: finding intel on Maro's son, the radiant "vampire advisor" quests, basically the entire beginning TG questline (Honningbrew, Goldenglow hives.)
Each of these questlines involve non-typical quests, aka quests where you have to approach it a little differently than the rest of your work: the Brotherhood stealing documents and planting false evidence like thieves, the Dawnguard committing assassinations and pickpocketing orders like both the Brotherhood AND the Guild, the Guild quest where you engage not only in open combat with Mercer, but kill him, like both the Dawnguard and, well, the Brotherhood Brynjolf insists you're not.
While those questlines are largely the same sort of quests on repeat, it's because they're, well, specialized guilds. Built entirely around doing those things. That's their entire function. When it comes to a war (which is very NOT a guild,) you'd expect a bit more than just a few skirmishes, especially considering the only thing that changes when you join is, well. There's one more guy in the skirmish. But magically this turns the tide and the entire war is won through brute force when previously there seemed no end in sight. The questline lacks variety, is incredibly, oddly short for what's supposed to be a war, and generally just... lacks impact. Nothing really happens afterwards. Faction camps are still sitting around, and you still can't even clear them. Hold guards are replaced by the faction that won and Whiterun is permanently in shambles. Can't even fix Whiterun ffs there's not even quests for that.
* After leaving this in the drafts for a few weeks and thinking about it some more, I think ultimately the problem IS the brevity. "Do four battles and suddenly we win" is absolutely insane. The Dawnguard DLC and the Thieves Guild, even the one single time I played it, have spoiled me rotten with the never ending radiant quests. It prevents the Companions feeling of "I joined three days ago and now I'm in charge and everyone does what I say" that throws everyone off. Not only can you keep accepting them, the mainline quests don't get in the way of accepting them (... like the Companions only telling you to go talk to Aela.) This means you can keep accepting radiant quests that provide a feeling of integration and contribution (in)to the guild, and also avoids the Companions and Civil War feeling of "I did three quests and it's over and everyone is bowing to me" by allowing you to do guild things in-between the main quests.
Not only that, but they offer a variety the main line might not provide, especially with the Dawnguard. For example, siding with the Volkihar includes a quest where you're given Dawnguard armor and told to go cause a scene, striking down some innocent civilian in the name of "vampire hunting" to sow public distrust. This quest is cool as fuck conceptually btw, why is a Volkihar radiant cooler than the entire CW line???
Ultimately I think if I could change one thing about the Civil War line specifically it would be adding TG/DG style radiant quests that can be done between main missions and also include "milestone" type quests that really bring home the feeling of growth and contribution. I think it would make it feel considerably less jarring and I'd even maybe consider playing it again if we could fix Whiterun.
#asks#uh. i am. so sorry this took so long to answer alsnkwnswk i couldnt word my thoughts on the cw line satisfactorily#idk man the war before you join is this brutal slog that supposedly is severely impacting the entire population#no end in sight because no one has the upper hand#and then the quests just. are more battles. the ones that were getting no one anywhere besides a grave#like if the same battles in the same places werent really getting results youd think youd try literally anything else#sure you get the crown and whoever you bavk gets public support but i dont recall that really resulting#in like. any extra supplies or soldiers or anything#like the whole point is there ARENT any supplies left for ANYONE and people who can be soldiers are#on the basis of 'its literally a CIVIL war' it is an internal thing#and then you do the one (1) not open combat keep storming quest and divert some weapons#fr i think those are the only changes#idk it was super boring to play through and the reward for my efforts was a fucked up whiterun#like. thanks. i cant even fix it???? wtf#anyway this has been in my drafts for WEEKS im just posting this#okay coming back after that last edit actually i have one last thing to say#dawnguard 10/10 for not making you the leader at the end no one listens to you youre just some guy#which is soooooo. great. no one does it like dg im busy i dont wanna lead your fucking guild#and isran would never fucking let you. he would come back as a malevolent ghost if he died and keep running the guild#absolute dawnguard supremacy in cast quests and not making you god spin that fucking chore wheel boy#edited to add the ask game link rip
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pixiel · 9 months
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I created a Userstyle for the Chrome/Firefox Stylus Extension that reverts the new dashboard to the old format. This took a lot of tweaking and it's not perfect at all, but if anyone wants it I'll be uploading it soonish now!
You need to have Stylus installed. So if you don't have it:
Install the Stylus Firefox Addon or the Chrome Extension (You can install Chrome Extensions on Edge as well)
Once it's installed into Firefox/Chrome/Edge you can proceed with adding this style or any other.
To add the style, follow the instructions:
Go to this link: https://userstyles.world/style/11286/old-tumblr-dashboard-july-2023
Click on "install".
Style will open a tag with it and in the left side you'll have a button that says "install style", click there. (Step-by-step copied from the lovely dorothyoz39 who wrote this in a reply!) If you don't want the sticky header you can remove the labelled script at the top of the css below /* Sticky Header*/
Be sure to check for updates regularly, I'm fixing things as I go! And because everyone keeps asking here's how to support me on Ko-Fi https://ko-fi.com/pixiel !
To update click the Manage button on Stylus and click the check for update button below then click again to install! If you experience any bugs let me know - feel free to edit it yourself as well! P.S. This userstyle works just fine alongside Xkit!
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NEW UPDATE: 27/04/24, 2:15AM BST v11.6
v9.6: Moved the Following | For you | Your Tags to below the create a post panel. Fixed the Accounts Menu! + Bugfixes V10.3: Patio compatibility. Added a way to hide the Patio button & "patio feedback?" button, just search for patio in the code and follow the instructions! v11.0: Temporary Chat feature fix after Tumblr broke it, fixed some positioning issues and j/k scrolling!
UPDATE (12/04/2024): YOU CAN NOW UPDATE YOUR OLD TUMBLE DASHBOARD AGAIN!! After letting the server rest everything is now fixed. I will be leaving the Tampermonkey Backup still up but it will have less-frequent updates to remain a backup so please use the Stylus version!
If anyone wants to help test out a new feature (Post width, dashboard positioning, etc) it would be super helpful! Read more about it here and shoot me a message!
THE CREATOR OF THIS USERSTYLE SUPPORTS THEIR TRANS SISTERS. WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!
Thank you dragongirlsnout for all your work on Dashboard Unfucker it was amazing working towards the same goal of fixing this website with you! As a Trans person (Agender, They/Them) I am saddened by the issues trans women have been facing on this site and the women who have been bullied into leaving Tumblr for good. I wish the best for you in all that you do next!
Check the readmore for the changelog, custom code & known issues!
----- Known issues:
Only two columns in Masonry view. Unfixable, Tumblr creates columns based on monitor size, if I try adding another column (because it doesn't exist) it just perpetually loads on screen. Tempfix: Zoom out in chrome/firefox and it adds more columns
Search bar doesn't appear on some pages (like viewing a post), this is because Tumblr removed the search bar on those pages completely. Unfixable!
Tumblr has ONCE AGAIN CHANGED THE ACCOUNTS MENU. The menus are now shorter and have less information on them. This is unfortunately permanent. I do not see any way to fix this. Unfixable.
If you want people's icons to stay fixed in place, instead of scrolling with the dashboard add;
.FtjPK .AD_w7 .JZ10N, .RYkKH > .nZ9l5 { top: 0px !important; position: relative !important; }
to the top of the code! You can also create a second userstyle by clicking the 'tumblr.com' part of the link in 'Write new Style' and adding the code in there! That way you don't have to worry about re-adding it when you update.
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Solved issues: (Update)
Menus need to be manually closed SOLVED! in V.4 and updated in V.5! The menu & icon WILL scroll with you if you have removed the sticky header CSS, however, clicking anywhere on screen will make the Menu disappear still.
Masonry view in searches is now fixed!
Resized Messenger Chat Box!
NEW UPDATE 16/08/23, 23:55 BST v6.5: Figured out how to reorganise the icons in the header. Let me know if you have any problems with it and make sure to update your Userstyle! Some icons are hidden with Display: Block; you can hide more icons with this method!
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Solved issues p2
Brought back SOME of the icons for Tumblrs latest update - Unfortunately, this does not bring back user icons for Reblogged posts! Make sure to yell at Tumblr for removing the icons as well as the horrible dashboard update here! v7.5 Fixed icons for all posts and put them back where they came from!
v6.9.6.9 (I promise this is the last funny number): Fuck Off Buggy The Clown Update + All languages support for the old header design!
v7.0: Fixed the search bar for tumblrs new collections feature, so it looks like the original search bar!
v8.0: Fixed masonry view icons, hidden the reblog icon on dashboard icons, fixed icons in blog viewport
V8.1: Fixed issue with icons not working on soft-refresh & with endless scrolling disabled - be sure to complain to staff!
v9.3: Changed a few things with the search feature, I also made the posts less round.
UPDATE2 11/04/2024: SO We mighhtttt have overrun their servers. 😅 I'm getting a 500 Internal Server Error every time I try to fix it or upload it as a new style - the massive influx of people downloading the userstyle was probably too much. The Tampermonkey backup on Greasyfork works just fine though! Probably easier for a lot of people migrating anyway! UPDATE 11/04/2024:: My code has broken on Userstyles.world, (it is now fixed as of 12/04/24) until this is fixed I have created a Tampermonkey Backup Version of the Userstyle so feel free to use this version if you've broken yours!
https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/492279-old-tumblr-dasboard-backup
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readychilledwine · 3 months
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Could i request something where az and reader are mates. They have a huge fight and “break up” and reader leaves the court. She finds out that she is pregnant and writes him a letter. He never shows up so she thinks he doesn’t want the baby. Rhys visit the court she is in and sees her with a child maybe a couple months old. He is mad because she didn’t told him and when he ask her why she keeps his nephew away she tells him that she wrote az but he never answered. Rhys is mad and ask az what is up with him to just leave his pregnant mate. Unbeknownst to him that az was searching for her the whole time. Az tells him that he never got a letter and they find out that maybe elain burned it. It takes some time for them but they find their way back and just fluff azriel dad who teaches his son how to fly.
( you could write more angst between reader and az because of elain or you could use a maid or something who wants az)
Here Without You
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Summary - Being a single mother was more painful than you'd ever thought it would be, especially when your son's father was just a court away.
Warnings - Angst, Elain showing those claws, single mom status, a child, PPD and the thoughts that come with it, **edited to add** cheating
A/N - I had one of my friends who is a single mom help me with this one while also imagining my life without baby daddy, and um, yeah. We cried a lot, so hopefully, you all do too.
*message from Liz regarding the ending at the end*
💙Peep my Azriel Masterlist Here💙
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You had decided whatever you had done to offend the Mother must have been truly unforgettable and unforgivable as you sank against the wall of your family chambers in the Day Court Palace.
Being a new mother was the hardest thing you had ever and will ever do. You had finally gotten Nox down after 3 hours of fussing and tears, and now you waited. He'd sleep 2 hours if you were lucky, wake up crying, and you'd start the process over.
You had wished for your mate more times than you could count, but that bridge was long gone and burned. He had ensured of that by not coming when you wrote him, by not even bothering to write you a response.
The last fight between you and Azriel had been ugly. Glasses had been thrown, a bottle of wine knocked over in rage, cruel words you would both have to live with ringing in your ears like a scream. 350 years. Gone. Thrown away like garbage. All for Elain.
Selfish, plotting, destructive Elain.
You stood, body swaying with sleep deprivation setting in before sitting at the table where your now cold food set. You were too tired to eat, choosing to instead drink the water you had been desperately craving 4 hour ago.
You had wished you could turn it to wine, drink it with no consequences, and still feed Nox when he woke, but that was not the reality of the world. So, instead, you allowed the room temperature flavorless beverage to slide down your throat before moving like a ghost to the couch. There was no point in getting comfortable in your own bed. You would have to be up soon anyway. It wasn’t as if you had help.
You were alone.
And that wasn't even the most painful part of it.
The most painful part was setting in doubt. The growing disbelief that you weren't capable of this, that Nox deserved more, that you should have dropped him at the cabin you had no doubt Elain had moved into, leaving him with her and Azriel to allow you to-
You cut your brain off, refusing to put those words into a full thought. Refusing to believe that your disappearance or death was better for your son than this.
This had to be enough, you had to be enough, because Gods if it wasn't and you weren't, then what truly was the point in living any longer.
Helion entered your chambers the next morning, eyes falling to where you were sat on the floor, shoulders shaking as sobs tore through you. He placed a large warm hand on your shoulder before taking Nox from your arms. "I know I can not offer much of a break due to his feeding cycle, but when is the last time you ate a hot meal, y/n?"
You shook your head. He was 2 weeks old. You supposed it had been before labor. Since then, it had been moments begging for just a second of deep sleep. Moments begging for the Mother to help you, to guide you. Moments where those prayers went unanswered as if they were just thrown into a void. "I don't remember."
Helion could have killed Azriel for you, for Lucien, for Nox. He almost had when you had winnowed yourself here, collapsing in his arms from the exhaustion magic and a growing babe had caused your body.
You hadn't known when you came to the Day Court, begging your oldest friend for a week of safety and healing that you were pregnant, but the High Lord had scented it the second you appeared.
It left him wondering how the hell Azriel hadn't.
"Let me hire a wet nurse for you," he offered again, knowing you would turn it down since your depressive state had you hyper fixated in this belief that all you were good for now was your breasts, and if you gave that duty away, what purpose did you have? "At least for the next few hours. To give you time to rest?"
You still shook your head, messy, tangled hair trying to sway. "I can't. I can't burden someone else."
Helion turned his head away from you, willing himself not to cry at the emptiness of your voice, at the lifelessness you had become.
"The Night Court and Spring are coming today," he started slowly. "I am the magic selected neutral ground for Tamlin and Rhysand to begin setting a peace treaty and trade routes." He waited for your reaction, almost breaking further as you gave him none. "Do you want to see any of them?"
"Lucien and Tamlin."
Helion felt his heart shatter for Cassian, the male who had been asking about you for months now. "The general-"
"Is Azriel's brother. And probably has taken his side. Attempts to see me are probably to give him some sick sort of satisfaction."
He dropped the subject immediately. Nox was asleep, content in the High Lord's arms. "I have time before they arrive, go nap." Helion ordered it, eyes blazing a soft gold and forcing you into submission.
Your bed had never felt so soft.
Helion was walking with Nox around the Palace, smiling and cooing the little male. He was always content when he was being held, and you were so deeply asleep you hadn't even noticed Helion holding the boy to your chest as he nursed. He walked towards where Lucien and Tamlin were.
His son, his pride and joy, looked just radiant in his Day Court attire. The soft, off-white pleaded fabric draping him showed the new healthy build he had gained since Azriel and Elain's transgressions, a golden snake wrapped his bicep, new golden earrings adorned those many piercings.
Lucien paused, a look of concern etching his face when he saw Nox before shaking his head rapidly.
But it was too late, Helion was already in the room where Rhysand also stood with the Inner Circle. The Lord of Night's face fell as he looked at the Illyrian boy, looking so happy up at Helion as he dozed off.
Cassian had frozen, mid sentence with Nesta. He had tried to take a step, wanting to see the babe he immediately knew was his nephew. His eyes met Helion's pleading with permission to approach. Elain's face had paled. A mix of guilt and fear running across it before she schooled it into a faked look of hurt and sadness.
But it was Azriel's face the broke the High Lord. It was a look he knew all too well.
The look of a father who missed the birth of his child.
The look of a father who didn't know he had a child.
The look of a father mourning lost time.
Lucien moved to Helion, taking Nox before leaving the room quickly. The boy did as he always did when his head found Lucien's warm bare shoulder. He released a heavy breath, snuggling into that familiar scent and warmth. "Your mother did not call for me last night," they all heard his soft voice trailing off, speaking to their nephew softly.
"You will tell me everything I do not know," Rhysand demanded as if he was in his own court. "When the fuck was he born. Why were we not informed of her pregnancy?"
Tamlin looked to Helion, digging the shit further. "Is she in the same room as last time?" The Lord of Day nodded. "I will go see her while you all deal with this."
Helion didn't answer, walking to the centered round table and taking the head seat. "To begin, Rhysand, this is my court. You will not make demands of me in my home." They all sat, aside from Azriel. His gaze was locked on the hallway Lucien and Tamlin had gone down.
If he ran, he could catch them. He could see you. He could-
The slam of hands on a table ripped him from his thoughts, and his head snapped to Helion. The High Lord was blazing, glowing like the sun itself, heat radiating from him. "Sit. Down."
An hour later and Rhysand had the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers. "You saw her send each letter?"
Helion rolled his eyes, nodding again. "Every month after every check up and once after the birth."
Rhys pointed to Azriel. "But you never got them?"
"My son wouldn't be in another court if I had," Azriel's voice mirrored yours. Broken, empty, mourning. Mourning what was, what he had missed and would never get back. "You're sure she sent them to me?"
Helion could have snapped his neck. "Who else would have fathered her babe? You are the one who stepped out of the bonds of marriage and mateship. Not her."
Azriel paused, a sudden look of anger gracing his face as he looked up at Elain, shadows curling his ears. Nuala appeared, setting envelopes down in front of Rhysand. "In her room. Under her bed in a locked chest. Along with every communication you had tried to send to y/n, my lord."
Feyre gasped, turning her back to Elain and leaning further into Rhysand, holding Nyx tightly between them. She remembered those first few weeks. The sleepless nights, the pain, the emotional down pour. She would not have survived without Rhysand. Without Nesta and Mor. Without Cassian and you and Azriel. Her sister, the one who had held her as darkness swallowed her mind after her son's birth, had allowed you to endure this alone.
Azriel's hands shook, reaching for that stack. He separated out the letters. 10 for him. 2 for Rhysand and Feyre. 2 for Mor. 2 for Amren. 4 for Cassian and Nesta.
Helion stood. "I will let you all process this. Call for me when you are ready to do negotiations. The sooner you all leave, the better for her."
Rhysand's eyes shot up. "You won't let us explain to her-"
"Does it change the fact that he took Elain to their marriage bed? Does it change that he signed the annulment papers." Silence filled the room. "I believe that's why she left. Correct?" Rhys grit his teeth nodding. "Then all this changes is me, someone she trusts and feels safe with right now, informing her of what happened and allowing her to decide if she wants to reach out again from that point." He made a pointed look at Elain. "Which would not matter since I cannot see you removing the parasite from your court."
Helion walked into your room to Lucien and Nox laying skin to skin, a blanket over them as Tamlin held you, long fingers running through your dark hair. "And?" His son said.
"Your mate hid the letters regarding her pregnancy." Lucien whistled. "She's a snake hiding behind beautiful scales."
Azriel had tracked down your room with his shadows easily. The inner circle had been excused for the negotiations and allowed to explore the city. Cassian had flown Elain home, Mor and Amren winnowing Nesta behind them. Cassian wanted Elain out of his house, and Azriel could not have been more grateful to his brother for having his back.
He entered the room slowly and quietly. You were placing the babe in a crib on the balcony. It was shaded from the sun, shielded to remain the perfect temperature, and yet gave him access to fresh air, to the breeze.
You turned, eyes wide the second you saw Azriel. He moved to you so quickly that you could hardly process it. One second, your feet were on the ground, and the next, arms held you tight against him. Azriel was breathing deeply, memorizing your scent all over again.
He set you down, keeping you close to his chest, and sent a prayer to the Mother. "Elain hid all the letters," he began slowly. "She kept them all in her room. I didn't know. Had I known about you, about him, I would have crawled the very depths of hell to bring you back home to me."
You didn't answer. Tears fell as your body relaxed into him. It wasn't fair. The hold he had on you. The need you still felt in your bones when he touched your skin. You ached for Azriel so deeply it echoed into your bones. You longed for his smell. His voice.
Azriel took your silence as permission to continue. "I made a mistake. I will never be able to make up for it. Elain knew the second you left, I wanted to correct this. I was so blinded by her, by the feeling of being needed like that again, that I forgot how precious your independence was. How beautiful it is."
He couldn't stop himself from kissing the top of your head. "You are all I think about. Morning, noon, and night, it is always and will always be you. I am so sorry for what I have done. I am sorry for hurting you, for ruining us, for hurting the family we should be raising together. There are no words for my remorse."
"Why?" Your voice broke as you asked. "Why wasn't I enough?"
Azriel pulled back to look at you, hand raising to hold your chin and force eye contact. "Y/n, you are not at fault for my actions. You did nothing wrong. There is no partial blame, no what ifs. I fucked up. I made a mistake and it cost both of us everything. You are the victim of my actions, not the catalyst."
He saw you process those words and saw as they sunk in. "You were and are more than I will ever deserve. I want to spend my lifetime making up for it. Becoming a male you are proud of. I want to be the father I never got to have. I want to be the husband and mate you deserve. I know it will take time, and I do not expect your forgiveness today, but if you give me a chance, I will go to my grave worshipping the ground you two walk."
"Do you want to meet our son?" He broke at the question, feeling the bond opening back on your end. "This doesn't mean we're back together. It means we need to coparent for him while we work on things." He nodded rapidly, following you to the bassinet.
It felt like the world was coming full circle. You knew it would take time, that you two had many things to discuss first. This was a needed good start, though. Your pain eased slightly as you pulled back the curtains to the crib and whispered, "Azriel, this is Nox, your son."
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@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho
**I have received some pretty nasty anon asks, some unconstructive comments, and a good amount of general negativity regarding this fic. If you are unhappy with the ending and want to know why I made the choices I made as the author, click #discussingherewithoutyou. Unconstructive comments will be receiving the same copy and paste answer from here forward.
My time and content are free. If you do not like them, scroll.
General Taglist:
@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium
Azriel Taglist:
@elle4404
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vanishingcherry · 8 months
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YN YLN and Charles Leclerc Take a Couples Quiz
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pairing: charles leclerc x reader
author's note: this has been in my drafts for wayy to long, so ive decided to just finish it off and post it. im sorry lmao but i just couldn't watch this rot away in my wips any longer.
masterlist
๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑
The video cut to you and Charles, sitting opposite each other in front of a yellow to red gradient, smiling at the camera.
"Hi! I'm YN", you say cheerfully.
"And I'm Charles"
"And we are here to take a couples quiz!"
You are handed a stack of questions from a person off screen, and turn towards Charles.
"Are you ready?"
"Is that the first question?" he retorts.
Your face drops, now showing slight annoyance but there is still a small smile you try to hide. "That's it. Minus 1 points."
"Oh c'mon! That is not fair."
You turn to argue but the video cuts to a different scene in which you ask the actual first question.
"What things do I have, of yours, that are my favourite?
He looks up in thought before chuckling and replying. "Theres a lot, you steal my stuff all the time."
You grin. "Yes, but what's my favourite?"
"My shirts? No wait! My bracelets?" He asks.
"Yeah!" you exclaim. Turning to the camera you add. "He gets so many bracelets from fans and they are all so pretty. We keep them in a bowl on our dresser so I like to take a few whenever I go out."
Looking back at Charles, you add. "You didn't know the answer, but you still got it right so I think you deserve half a point." The staff behind the camera gives you a thumbs up, noting it down for when they would edit the video.
"Ok! Next question- which song of yours is my favourite?"
He looks at you, his eyes widening with a confused expression on his face. He looks at the camera crew and then back at you.
"C'mon, I only have 2 it's not a very hard question."
"Then answer it." you reply, looking at him with a small smirk.
"Fine. Uh, AUS23."
"Wrong!" you exclaim, laughing at the way his jaw drops in surprise.
"Then what? I know its not Miami."
"Its the one you wrote for Baku." you slyly say, knowing fully well that he hadn't released it and you were possibly the only one other than him to have heard it.
You look down at the cards you had been given, reading off the next question. "What is the first thing I eat in the morning?"
You see his smirk growing in your peripheral vision and cut in before he answers. "If you dare make a joke, I will murder you."
He laughs at that, chuckling as he looks up to think. "Um. Breakfast? It's different things every morning, but if I wake up before her then I make cereal."
Noticing the evident confusion on the faces of the cameramen, you elaborate. "It's the only thing he's allowed to make without me present. The last time I let him cook alone, he burned the pancakes and half our kitchen."
Turning red at the story, he interrupts. "Okayy, next question amore."
"Which side of the bed do I sleep on?"
"Left."
"If I could get a tattoo of something, what would it be?"
"A bouquet of flowers. The flowers would be your favourite and my favourite together."
You are shocked at his response. "How did you remember that? I told you that ages ago!"
He smiles slyly to the camera. "That is why I am the best boyfriend, there is no need for these silly questions I am already the best. She told me so in be-"
"Right. Next question." You cut him off, eyes widening as you figure out where he was going with the statement. "This is the last one. If I could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
"Oh this is easy. Italy. You are always talking about how much you love it. But you also love Monaco and France so depending on how you feel, one of those three."
"Well.", you look at the camera, "I think that answer deserves 2 points." Handing your questions off to the side, you turn to Charles who has started reading the first of his questions.
"If I had a ticket to anywhere in the world, where would I go?" he reads. "This is similar to yours", he mutters.
"Home", you say confidently. "He's a mama's boy, tries to go back home as much as possible."
He blushes slightly before nodding to the camera. "Yup, 1 point."
"What was I wearing on our first date?"
You reply quick as lightening. "A shirt and pants. Very gentlemanly, I remember thinking, probably the best first impression I've had of a guy."
His eyebrows raise at the confession, cockily tilting his head in the direction of the camera. "You heard her! Next, what is something I hate?"
"A lot of things, Char."
"Is that your final answer, cherie?"
"Um." you pause. "Oh I know! When manipulate stuff that you say. It makes me really mad too. It gets really tiresome when they take stuff that Charles has said that turn into into a different story altogether."
"Thats true, I do hate that." He smiles at you, reaching over to squeeze your hand once to say thank you.
"How many kids do I want?"
"3, because you have 2 siblings. But, you said you want as many as I am comfortable with!"
"Of course, amour. You're the one whose going to be carrying them, your choice is more important here. What is something I get annoyed about?"
"Oh, when Seb and Carlos beat you at those Ferrari games you play."
His jaw drops in faux offence, shaking his head as he reads out the last question on his cue card.
"What is one my hidden talents?"
You look straight at the camera, not dissimilar to The Office. A smirk grows on your face and the lens zooms in. In the background Charles can be heard complaining.
"Oh I see! You can make these jokes, but I cant?"
The video cuts to the wider angle once again, you and Charles wave at the camera.
"Thanks for watching our couples quiz! I think it's clear that I've won."
Charles rolls his eyes, eyes shining with admiration and love for you. "Bye everybody."
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Comments:
charleslover: OH MY GOD!! THEY ARE SO IN LOVE IT KILLS ME
ynandcharles: their facial expressions always kill me
username89: where do i get a charles leclerc bcs i will willingly offer all the money i have
doratheexplorer16: their love for each other hurts
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sociallyawkwardseal · 2 years
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looking at my oc wip like “you are the bane of my existence. but i love you. you are so much suffering and pain poured into currently 16 chapters that i need to reorganize and restructure and change the pacing on. but you hold so much of my love and excitement and joy. you are agony poured into hours of actual writing and like two years of rotating you in my brain, but you are cherished and so very loved”
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phantomarine · 9 months
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Clam's Quick Tips for Starting Your Very First Webcomic
Howdy! Here are the three bits of advice I tend to give people who ask me about getting into webcomic-making. Maybe they can help you jump into the fray with a little less fear.
1) Make Your First Chapter a Pilot Episode
You will be told by webcomic veterans to start with a short, simple comic idea first - which is wise - but if all you can think about is your big magnum opus, then you might as well hop in, right? Otherwise you'll just be glancing back at the other cooler project forever.
But if you can't start with a small simple story, start on a small, simple part of that larger story. Your first chapter should be a snapshot of the main conflict - show us a simple scene with few characters, ease us in slowly, keep things clear and focus on emotion/impact/clarity. Get the audience to care by offering something easily digested, but full of promise.
Once you're done with that 'pilot' chapter, and you're feeling more comfortable with the whole comic process, you can open the gates and show us the larger world. At that point, you'll be way more ready.
2) Simplify Your Art Style For Your Own Sanity
Always try to make your webcomic's art style as simple as possible - the standard rule is to use only 75% of your artistic skill for every comic page you make. Otherwise you will burn out quickly and terribly.
But you also need to be PROUD of your art style. If you're really feeling itchy, add a couple bells and whistles to your style so you can look at the finished page and say "Yeah, looks cool." You'll find the right balance the more you draw.
Also, don't be afraid to change your art style as you go along. Ultimate consistency is often impossible in webcomics anyway - so embrace your desire to try new things, streamline your work, whatever you feel needs to happen to be happiest. Sometimes the coolest part of reading a webcomic is noticing that style change - so don't hesitate to embrace it!
3) Resist the Reboot! RESIST!
The curse/blessing of drawing the same things over and over is that you'll inevitably get better at drawing those things. The trouble comes when you look back at old stuff and start thinking "Damn, I could draw that way better now."
You must recognize that this feeling never goes away. Not after a hundred pages. Not after three hundred. Not after a thousand.
I think everyone should be allowed one soft reboot for their first webcomic. Redraw some panels that bother you. Change up some dialogue if it doesn't make sense with your new story ideas. Do maintenance, basically. One of the beauties of webcomics is that they can be easily edited, without reprinting a whole book or remaking a whole game.
But if the ultimate purpose of a webcomic is to tell a story, then constant reboots will just be retelling the same story - slightly better each time, but the same at its core. We've heard it before. Most audiences would rather you save your strength and just keep going, rather than circling back year after year and going "Wait wait wait! I'll do it better this time."
Reboot early, not often, and only when you absolutely must! You're a storyteller, and you're constantly getting better at telling your story. Don't be ashamed of it - look back how much ground you've covered, and keep walking!
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That's a good start. Happy webcomicking - don't be afraid to jump in, but be prepared to learn a lot very quickly. And if this advice doesn't work for you or adhere to how you did it, that's absolutely fine - webcomics are diverse by nature, and so are their creation processes. Feel out what works best for you, and good luck!
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