#and its. kind of bleak ngl

[yeehawfolk]

So something that really bothers me about the current creative world (idk a better word for it, I've seen a bunch of places where its prevalent, from fandom to games to books to shows) is this insistence from creators/fans that they HAVE to engage with negative posts about them. Like, I don't mean people going up to them and sending asks/reblogging/retweeting their posts about it, but I mean people who otherwise aren't doing anything to the creator, just talking about frustrations on their socials.

There's this like. Idk what to call it except shared point of view that its ~cool~ to dunk on people who don't like your thing. And like, if someone is coming directly for the creators, its different, but its almost like you can't complain on your social media sites about things you don't like because otherwise the author/mod/creator will troll the tag and get up in your face about it? It's kind of weird and invasive for creators to do that to people who aren't actually seeking them out, ya know? It's like. Why do you even care if someone doesn't like it or they disagree with someone on the thing? Why do you feel the need to interact with negative views of your thing instead of just letting them fall to the wayside?

Now that its becoming more of a widely-accepted Thing, it really puts me off interacting with fandoms at all. I'm going to preface this by saying: I am autistic and I have ADHD. This results in poor emotional regulation, and sometimes when I get annoyed/mad/upset or something, I make a post about it on my blog. It's a way to deal with the struggles I face with my emotions as an autistic person that (if you don't go looking for it) doesn't hurt anyone. You can argue its not pretty, but when I'm talking to myself, on my own social media account, then I don't think you can make the argument that I'm targeting whoever I talk about. Unless they decide to hop up on my post, which is what I've seen a lot of creators nowadays doing.

And you can argue its their job to look at the online communities centered around them, which is totally fair! But what ISN'T their job is finding people in those communities that disagree or have negative opinions on the creator, and putting them on blast to fans. Just leave them alone if they're not directly coming for you. They're not hurting you if they're talking about it on their personal social media sites.

Like. I feel like in creator's haste to interact with their fans, its created this weird social dynamic where they can't leave things alone. They HAVE to release a statement about That One User. They HAVE to try and clown on someone who doesn't like them. And its just. Very frustrating for people who have more of the autistic/ADHD traits that are considered "ugly" (poor emotional regulation, anger as a first response, not being able to articulate, etc.) that are trying to keep it away from others and in their own little corners. And this current Vibe fandom has about it is very, very disappointing. So many people act like its perfectly fine for creators to do this because they, too, like to clown on someone who doesn't like their faves.

I think creators need to leave disgruntled fans alone. It does nothing for the creator except increase engagement with that particular post, but opens up the person they interacted with to whatever rabid fans would like to bite them that day.

#cas talks #the vivziepop post bothered me and i finally figured out why #it's because its becoming a big thing now for creators to dunk on fans who dont like them for engagement with other fans #and its. kind of bleak ngl #why should i have to worry about my post being put on blast for die hard fans to get mad over? #because the creator has some moral imperative to prove disgruntled fans wrong??? #call me crazy but i dont think that should ever be a thing ever #and the fact its becoming a thing is making me feel like i would rather die than interact with creators in their own fandoms #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I might just be overthinking things but. im v sad about how its been catching on the last few years

[fiovske]

the vast horizon is like. Hannibal for sapphics. it's what killing eve could've been. should've been. but it's human & ai where the human is a full-blown war criminal and the AI is not really an AI but solar radiation from another system here to girlboss gaslight and manipulate the human it has imprinted on so now it wants to raise 40 thousand kids w her.

#its just a little bit crazy. the love is fierce and protective and fucking crazy. #its also like... how a place loves a person. and mercilessly. #eat ur heart out kind of love the ai has for the human. fiercely protective. #but also. horrible horrible morals. #insane. cant wait to see where it goes. #things looking bleak for the human rn ngl #and im LOVIN IT!! #vast horizon

[bestial4ngel]

I’m quite new to the topic so I have to say my knowledge of it is very limited right now, but the way that Weimar cabaret in it’s blatant sexuality and queerness, and the way that its’ becoming more integrated into “regular” society was a factor in the rise in reactionary views in the late 20s and early 30s kind of feels disturbingly similar to what’s happening now with drag shows?

Like I know it’s commonly known that Germany and Berlin in particular had a large and more openly queer community than in most places at the time, but I was just looking into cabaret specifically because I find it interesting and it was pretty eerie to hear that in the late 20’s before everything started going to shit, it had actually began to be a thing for cishet people to go to queer cabaret and nightclubs because some of the venues were so well known. Like to the point that they were mentioned in “things you should do in Berlin” type of newspaper articles and tourists would come to see them.

Idk about everyone else but that sounds so much like how going to drag shows became a semi-popular and cool thing for some cishet people for awhile, only then for the reactionary conservative views to rear their ugly heads and start not only trying to tear down drag shows and paint them as immoral, but trying to do that to actual trans people, drag performers, etc. as well.

#and ofc the way that so many of the writers for cabaret were jewish influenced the reactionary shit a ton as well #ngl this is kind of horrifying and truly frightening to think about because of how there was a similar boom in acceptance and then a rapid— #decline and now attempts to take away rights and worse #like um I knew shit was bad already ofc and I already knew about the parallels but thats straight up uncanny to me #it’s physically painful to think about how beautiful it must have been there and how good it could have been if they hadn’t destroyed & #outlawed it all obviously but it’s also like seriously sickening to realize that it’s so similar to whats going on rn #and the way that the performances increased significantlyin how political they were as a response to the growing nazi shit in the early 30s- #feels eerily familiar as well. like things have gotten increasingly political since 2016 for obvious reasons and bc its getting more dire— #by the year #history repeats itself ig #sorry this is such a bleak post lmao but yeah like wow idk #/holocaust mention #/homophobia #/transphobia #transphobia #drag shows #queer history #cabaret theatre #german queer history #history #trans rights #theatre history #1920s #also I ​might be wrong but I thought the whole ‘protect the children’ thing was a n*zi propaganda tactic too? tho it might have been about— #jewish people only not queer people I don’t remember well enough to say for sure #people who know more than me about this please feel free to correct me or add additional input !! #willing to add more tws if requested

[m4rried2the-moon]

reflections on manifestation frustration

hello all :) so this is my first text post, i felt very compelled to share a few messages from my journal this morning. just some things to do with struggling with manifestation frustration and some observations to help those who are struggling to remain hopeful and confident!

✎ impatience

the best comparison, imo, to manifestation is like ordering something offline. you picked it, you 'bought' it and now you must simply wait for it. this waiting can be especially frustrating if you order something from overseas, but i feel like this analogy fits best because you know it's coming eventually and it gives you this room to still live in the moment while you understand that its coming.

✎ lack of confidence

if anyone deserves this, it's you babe, believe that. not only have you brought yourself this far to accept that you can have it, but you know within that it can only materialize if you continue to trust that feeling. after all, why wouldn't you have what makes you happy? trick question, there is no reason!

✎ bleak present reality

because your shipment is already on its way, think about your present reality as that waiting period before you receive your desire. your present reality may feel like a deep energy of lack right now but understand that the state you imagine yourself in while having it and the state of your present reality is synonymous. your desire is as real as your current reality and knowing this creates a protective and assured energy from spiral-prone doubts/beliefs.

✎ reflection on past successful 'deliveries'

i'm almost sure everyone has experienced wanting something and kind of subconsciously end up receiving it through whatever circumstance. times like that i believe are examples of our natural ability to attract what we want into our lives without constantly applied efforts, either. stress can be a huge part of manifestation frustration, but reflecting on these easy times of natural magnetism to the things that belong to you can remind you that you already have it.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

tbh i was actually struggling with this before journaling and this is just what i remind myself when i have times like this, bc i'm ngl i cried with frustration earlier but it's about picking yourself back up and knowing that your confidence is bigger than any other energy that could rob you!

anyways, hope this helped!

#manifesting #manifesation #law of attraction #law of manifestation #desired reality #desired life #desired self #desired person #desired body #law of the universe #law of abundance #law of allowing #law of affirmation #law of assumption #manifestation tips #manifestation theory #loa #self concept #manifest #manifestation journey

[captainofthetidesbreath]

What's hopepunk bc i stg i can never get a clear answer. Isn't making things better usually just like. Whatever

Hopepunk is posited as the opposite of grimdark.

Grimdark is another genre that is useless as a conception in my opinion because one of the major definitions builds its concept around ASOIAF by completely misunderstanding ASOIAF thematically and more characterizing the novel series as if it is identical to the TV adaptation. This is a whole OTHER post about grimdark and whether it's a viable genre category and whether it makes more sense as a simple adjective blah blah, but I say that to you to help illustrate how much hopepunk as a concept is doomed from the start.

The general concept of hopepunk is a work that focuses on cooperation and amity over conflict and discord. It focuses on softness, gentle tones, optimism, empathy, and radical kindness with weaponized optimism and an emphasis on positivity and justice. It is intended to be uplifting and restorative.

From there, you start to lose shape. Some insist that hopepunk does not NECESSITATE a happy ending, simply one where perseverance and hope endures. Some insist that hopepunk cannot have suffering in it and the ending must be happy. Some insist that hopepunk requires an element of constructive rage, and others feel that rage requires too much bitterness and blood in the teeth to be hopepunk.

Ever since the term was coined, it's become more and more and more nebulous and increasingly distant from the idea that it's about fighting the bleakness of reality and holding on grim determination to believe in making the future better and increasingly a twee vibe of soft and gentle radiant light where bad things don't happen. The fact that you're struggling to get a consistent answer on what it IS genuinely is like, yeah.

In my opinion, it's a silly genre to accept to conceptualize because it basically distills down to "the heroes endure through the hardships to hold on to hope and continue fighting for meaningful change" and that is.... most stories of scope. This is just... so incredibly broad as a concept. This is so broad as to be useless. Having Harry Potter (lmao), Snowpiercer, The Man in the High Castle, The Good Place, and The Great British Bake-Off all in the same alleged genre really proves that.

The sheer massive vagueness of that concept has contributed a lot to why the concept has become increasingly just sentimental feel-good soft uwu aesthetic where everyone is pure of heart and evil is paper thin and the win is always uncomplicated and there is no bad feelings ever, especially not for the audience and not even during the struggle itself. As stated before, this not the ONLY conception of hopepunk (and not even the original), but it's become one of the biggest interpretations and conceptions of it here on Tumblr and, ngl, it's insufferable.

Hopepunk as a concept is, like, trying to create the diametric opposite of another genre that is itself incoherent and disputed to exist. The fact that The Last of Us has been described both as hopepunk and grimdark says a lot.

You can't get a clear answer because the concept is incoherent and was doomed to incoherency from the start.

[laurelwen]

Interview with Gregory Read (director of Like Minds)

So, I had to transcribe this so I can use it for some new Like Minds content I'm working on (analysis), so I figured I might as well share the work with all of you. Ngl, I laughed and laughed at him saying he didn't want the characters to be gay. Honey, did you even watch these scenes as you were filming?

He had to die.  It was a necessary means to an end.

Read:  What I was interested in was looking into juvenile psychology and looking at why do we have sociopaths in our society.

Narrator:  17 year old Alex, played by Eddie Redmayne, is charged with the murder of his friend Nigel (Tom Sturridge).  Lacking any substantial evidence, the police call in forensic psychologist, Sally Rowe (Toni Collette) to help prove his guilt.  But what she discovers is a tangled friendship full of enigma. 

"Why do you want to know what I believe in?"

"It'd be a good place to start."

"Gestalt."

"Gestalt..."

"An organized whole in which each individual part affects every other, but the whole being more important than the sum of its parts."

"Yeah, I'm familiar with first year psychology theory.  Should I be impressed?"

"It's not what it is.  It's how you use it."

Read:  I found this great paper on gestalt psychology and it was really fascinating.  It was such a...almost like a door opening to me, because it started talking about how you can have two sociopaths that can come together into a close environment and then create something bigger between themselves.

Have you ever had that feeling that there was someone inside your head, listening to your thoughts?  I read this article on twinning, about how two people can communicate across countries, through their minds.  There was something about this guy.

Read:  I was aware that in gestalt relationships, they tend to be a, not always, but a lot of times it was partnering, where it was a husband and wife team, or two gay men.  So I was interested in that concept, but I didn't want Alex to be gay.  And I didn't want Nigel to be overtly gay--I think he's asexual.

"What'd you do with the knife?"

"I sense some hostility."

"Oh, do you reckon."

"Let's just call it fingerprint insurance."

Read:  I constructed those two different types of characters.  One which is controlling and very driven by his success and career.  The other who is totally insular and is obsessive.  And then draw them together into a close proximity and then basically let them loose and see what happens to them, and how they fire off each other, and how you end up with this kind of cat and mouse type game. 

"I don't want any part of this."

"Well, I'm sorry, Jack, but you were the one who got inside MY head."

"Well get out of mine."

"It's too late for that."

Read:  I wanted to use colors that weren't overt.  And I wanted to kind of let the school kind of be more womb-like amongst the urban sprawl of...urban decay.  So I wanted the outside world to be kind of these steely kind of colors, and greens, and darker tones.  And I wanted the school to be more mahogany and kind of warm tones.  And the reason for that is really to give a sense of the psychology of it.  And when you go into the interrogation room, I want it to be stark and bright and short focus.

"Tell me about Nigel."

"Nigel got what he wanted."

"And what was that?"

"Eternity."

Read:  Well the train is definitely, it's like Dante's descent to Hell.  It gave me this feeling, like it was almost like an umbilical cord to the outside world.  This train that rattles on its unsteady path between the womb-like school and the outside world, which is cold and bleak and hard and true and rough around the edges, where the school is pristine and perfect and starched collars and, you know.  So to me it was just showing those two worlds and then bringing them together in a gestalt amongst themselves, so the two world create the environment that creates these characters. 

(watch the video here)

#like minds #nigel colbie #alex forbes #tom sturridge #eddie redmayne #murderous intent #gestalt #loeb and leopold #chaotic content

[harriertail]

Weird reading roundup

Gravitys Rainbow - ngl i gave up. i adored the writing style- the sidetracking stories, the background, the general insanity and interconnected world- from Argentina to Southwest Africa to Russia to England. I get the whole plot is about this yank who’s dick is connected to nazi rockets and everytime he shags a girl london gets bombed but wtf was that second half? I wanted to enjoy it, but it felt like less of a story/novel and more of a series of characters/events designed to either shock or confuse (much like Less than Zero, Guts, or Infinite Jest though). When this book does moral grandstanding or political views it does it really well, and again the prose is fantastic. A lot of the “chapters” (long segments within each bigger part) could stand on their own as short stories. A shame about all the… that…

Drive your Plow over the Bones of the Dead - suggested by the lovely pigeocore. Took a while to get into the style and the weird Capitalisations but it really sets this weird, not-right tone. Unhinged in a good way. A murder mystery of the best kind. I hated every character but the narrator. 

Apricots - this was.... weird. the style is very ‘basic’ and kinda jumpy. the dialogue is kinda weird and unnatural. The news clippings were really nice in setting the tone but the random non Forrest chapter was fucking weird. I think the contrast between Grenada and Lebanon rlly should have been played up. This def is one of those non fiction books that are basically the authors memoirs (ala Slaughterhouse Five) so i’ll let it slide on feeling disjointed. It gets a little preachy with the whole “i gave my life for this” and gives speeches in parts but i think the ending justified it. Kinda bleak- again, I tend to view nonfiction war novels by former service members as half fiction, half real and inspired by their experiences which softens me to certain things I’d usually not like in other genres. I dont like ranking things numerically so i will describe this as chain restaurant burgers, its not brilliant stuff but for a weekday trip out itll do. I did like it, but i dont think other people would.

The Road - i like McCarthy usually (even if i gave up on Child of God) and i love his style but again. What? I adored the writing style; the jumpiness of it, the craftsmanship of it. Something about it just felt off to me

Of Love and Other Demons - when i understand what this book was about I’ll let you know. I like Marquez so I’m bias buttt this was fucking unhinged, like straight off the bat. setting was fantastic. no fucking clue about the rest.

Up next: 100 Years of Solitude (Marquez) The Antipeople (Tansi), Dreambaby (McAllister), and please feel free to suggest any novels that made you go ‘what the fuck?’ (in a good way!!!)

#if you have read gravitys rainbow (or any of these) pls send me ur thoughts! #also taking suggestions :) #also dont suggest palahniuk ellis burroughs or king thanks! terrible!

[yamatossideboob]

One Piece 1096 Spoilers!

... Things I liked this week!

GOOD cover page, love seeing Zoro in goofy predicaments again

This entire GV situation is horrific to a degree that feels asinine to describe... but calling the people being hunted "rabbits" genuinely makes my stomach turn

Who are the "children"... are they other Holy Knights, or CDs we'll meet in the future?

Oh hi Kong! you will never be able to wash the blood from your hands!

I love that Garp didn't give a shit until he heard Roger was going to be there. That's so yaoi!

I *entirely* forgot that this is where Kaido got his fruit.

oh Ginny, such a fateful endeavour...

I fucking love Kuma and Ivankov so much more with this flashback...

I'm probably off the mark but that flag of Rocks'... does he have the Mero Mero no Mi?? This feels stupid but that skull *looks* like its flaming... it could be the Yami Yami but then that'd surely be more obvious... idk!

THE

ROCKS

FUCKING

PIRATES

ARE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!

god I got shivers when I beheld this page... the utter hype on display!

so aside from the usual suspects we can see Captain John and Shiki, as well as Gloriosa!! I had no idea she was in this crew but waow!! Bad bitchery all round!!

and two other shadowy figures who get closeup panels... who could they be...?

"Today's the final fight, I assume"... "That's the idea!!" ngl those "Rocks wasn't the villain" speculations are gaining ground...

Like it was be beautifully bleak if, when this concentrated effort to destroy the Celestial Dragons in one fell swoop failed and Rocks was defeated, THIS was what made Big Mom and Kaido into the monsters they'd become. I can't help but wonder how this influenced Whitebeard afterwards too...

as my OP Bestie said, Roger looks so much Shanks minus moustache and captain's hat that it's a little discombobulating lmao

the skull dude and baddie behind Figarland look really cool... we likely won't see them again but I like these little incidental character designs.

BOGART! the years have been kind to him I must say

jfc, Ivankov was THIS close to being a big blue dragon... lucky for him I guess. the fruit he did eventually get is way more his style hehe

how the hell did they escape if fucking SATURN and possibly other Gorosei were there?? not to mention the 3 way wam bam going on down below?? I don't know that we'll ever see all of what happened here (the important stuff anyway) but MAN I hope we do somehow

hell, Gloriosa is still alive last I heard, she can spill the beans! or Stussy! or Shiki even if he's in canon limbo!

man the sky above God Valley is gonna look like Swiss cheese with all of the haki splitting going on below

KUMA HAS BECOME CATHOLIC

This boy saved 500 people with a power he only just obtained... I need to see who's responsible for giving him the name 'Tyrant' bc i am going to redden his arse for besmirching my boy Kuma's name!!!!!!

so, is this church dedicated to the worship of Nika? we've not really seen religion outside of Skypeia... how intriguing...

I think it's safe to say Ginny will eventually be the mother of Bonney hehe... she and kid Kuma are really cute together... I guess next chapter, we see how she dies :'''D yippee....

goddddddddd what a tantalising chapter... as many new questions as answers... and more next week!! I'm going to be devastated and I can't wait!!

Until next week friends! 💪❌

#live from ohara #op spoilers

[1eos]

ngl i thnk RV haven't been perfoming as well as before with these past few releases (and most ppl seem to be asking for another Pyscho or Dumb Dumb (i think)) and hopefully that'll send SM a message they can understand (money), but also being realistic theyll probs just decide RV isnt profitable anymore and put them in the basement lmaooo but nah its kind of bleak how SM is hellbent on fucking up their groups, and even bleaker how some fans will just buy Anything. Like personally if the choices are 'keep buying RV albums cause if we dont support them theyll dsband' and 'say goodbye to RV' catch me streaming The Perfect Velvet as I cry and look for a new fave artist.

i don't keep up with charting at all so idk the specifics of every release but i remember queendom charting crazy high for some reason 🙄 and with birthday the album broke their previous records with presales so i think even tho ppl are complaining about wanting another bad boy it's exactly like you said they want to keep the group alive and keep buying albums even if they hate it. plus the rv packaging is super pretty so im sure that helps lol.

and it's bc red velvet keep pulling in money regardless of how bland their music is that sm will keep giving them lame ass comebacks to line their pockets as they bleed dry trying to find new nct boys to recruit 😭😭😭😭😭😭 it's honestly sad. and ppl treat disbandments like it's the end of the world but so many girl groups have officially or unofficially disbanded and still came together to do revivals and anniversaries so it's not like it's a goodbye forever plus it's better imo to end on a high note than to drag the rotting shell of an iconic group around performing bad songs.

ofc if red velvet don't wanna disband it's all moot. but it's still really weird that ppl will spend every dime to fight against a disbandment they don't even know is coming. like? it's manufacturing scarcity 😭😭😭😭 it's wild. i feel like a lot of things would change if kpop fans stopped being addicted to consuming content mindlessly and actually liked these people as like artists and looked forward to what they'd do beyond being in a group you know? cuz the obsession with otx together forever dropping a comeback month after month no thought into anything just is a complete mess(((!!!!!!

[dreamlesinearlygrave]

for when you graduate and en route to become the person you want to be:

for what its worth you were the first person for a very long time (3ish 4 years) came by that i knew from almost the beginning that if i were to really plunge myself into it i'd be consumed entirely especially when theres already so much going on for me in life (both of us really but i'm really really glad that we've met).... it might not seemed like it but i told my friend that i think i have fallen for you in late February and i got really terrified afterwards... but with you its a different type of love and care that i have only experienced until now. its kind of like the type of love when you like a flower so much and you want to take it home with you but you like it so much that you come to your senses and want it to survive and bloom over and over again so you decide to let it stay on the field? That was the dilemma that i was having the entire time, it would be wrong to do anything to it and not let it bloom into its prettiest and most natural self. Weird analogy and as odd as that sounds i think thats one of the reasons why i let myself step back most times and just sponge things up because i want to observe and just watch you and let you decide most things and see how things go? That probably sound weird in your head but maybe i just got too caught up in the moment/process that i appear placid and numb to everything because deep down i too always overthink everything and didn't want to appear like so at least in front of you...i sincerely don't know why...but honestly as long as we were together, nothing else really mattered to me, i was ok with everything but i guess you wanted me to have more input so i guess thats where we differ... its just unfortunate that i haven't been able to show you that i care in ways that you'd understand.

This is all coming out now because also congratulations, you made it through uni ... but i know you are going to move into a very different stage of your life and i've been in that position before so i understand how terrifying it is to head into an abyss of unknown but if my thoughts still mattered to you , just know you're not alone in this. i hate to break it to you but after awhile you'll see that life is really fuking bleak (so its normal that you're frustrated and feeling lost, it would be concerning if you didn't feel this way) BUT you'll find happiness and moments of surprises that take the pain in it away (even just for a little) and for me that was you, you were one of the relievers... i guess for the longest time i didn't want to ever come off as too strong and scare you away but sincerely thats how i felt even though our time together was so short-lived...i just want you to know that you're not alone in this and you have friends including me that have so much faith in you because i know you will do a superb job at it because you're kenny and you're perfect the way you are even though i called u "psychotic"

What i meant by psychotic is just i think you approach life with 0-100 mentality and i love that about you... i guess that was a poor choice of word but what i really meant was i think your super determine. its so fucking hot ngl...but sometimes you get super tunnel vision that you sorta forget about everything else and that includes me...thats what i meant by me being collateral damage... and as much as i care for you i don't think i have the mental capacity to be heartbroken and upset, so i've just accepted thats who are you and if it means being apart can help us achieve the life that we want and be happy with it, then i'm willing to do this even if its hard...

I guess what i am trying to say is, If letting you go means you can achieve the things that you want without needing to cater my happiness, then i'm willing to let you go and pursue those things freely because vic versa i would not be able to forgive myself if i fuck things up for myself and you too, its just too much of a gambit, and time is too precious for me now and for you too of course.

Theres a selfish part in me that i want to have you all to myself but i also care so much that i want you to be happy and get whatever it is that you want. I just hope when we both become our most secure selves, (maybe in the end it wont necessary be you and me) but we'd both find the happiness and love that we deserve. reflecting on all the things that said, you kept hinting in ways that you think i don't care but thats not true, i don't want you to feel like you don't deserve love kenny, i feel like sometimes you overthink things especially with relationship stuff its because of what had happened in the past but you're so lovable kenny, if life and time permits, i would not let you go ever i just want to hug you so tightly all the time, but you need to believe that yourself too. i don't know if i can ever assure you in ways that you'd want to be assured in but if theres ever an opportunity i would love to get to know you properly all over again where we start off as friends so i can learn how to love you in ways that you'd understand. i know i don't seem like i care and thats something i want to work on but really really really i have so much love for you, you cannot even fathom.

i really enjoyed our time together. Thank you for being faithful and kind to me when i was unsure even though u had ur own doubts too. i guess it just not in our favor but i just want you to know you hold a very special place in my heart. you have tapped a part of my soul that completely changed the way i view this world and morphed me into a different person, you might not feel the same now but i think you deserve me to be honest at least for once. Those days where we're just chilling and not really doing anything, sleeping together w the puppers and holding hands for the first time on my couch in Toronto will forever be a memory i hold close to my heart. i wish you the best of luck in everything, you got this and i know you will have it in you to decide what is right for you.

[yanderetrash]

Im sad we dont get to know what happens to song after she leaves for the moon

Did she even make it?? I think that if she did and was still herself she could at least send a quick text like cmon youre a wizard hacker the least u could do is give me a thumbs up

Like realistically speaking, you took 1-2 weeks to go thru the whole thing, thats time youre not getting back and its not like u have a lot of it to spare

And yea sure u can fuck around doing side hustles but thats on your own time your own terms

You were taken for a 2 week ride for a big fat nothing and ig since thats an option and the option i took be actually nice and kind to her because you understand.

And you do lose a lot more, making yourself an enemy of the state and burning countless bridges

And again you can choose to be kind, even after the whole i fucked u up is revealed and help her, at her lowest, most vulnerable. It should count for something and i was pleasantly surprised to see a lot of choices actually did make a difference, but the extent to which your attitude changes the course of the outcome is ig ur character says a diff line out loud

I think overall not taking the nusa deal is better. Like you get what u wanted, u get to live but at the cost of everything you were

Granted its better than the devil ending, the way v begs for johnny then is so sad and pathetic

He seemed surprisingly a lot more upset this time than like when we sided w his literal mortal enemy

It really broke my heart hearing him say he wont be begging for his life

Like...

Of course even the best case scenario is bleak is humiliating, were taking abt cyberpunk after all, still idk i wished i could get a little more out of the dlc

Though back to present time im getting royally fucked by col hansen

I mean his melee knife one two is fucking hot i get aurore now french as she may be

Ngl she was banging also

But for real as predictable as it is i think he is fucking hot

Like ig up there with my friend takemura

Sad that the hottest people in the game are not romanceable

#cp77 thoughtposting

[benandstumpy]

REWATCH: "marooned/untamed world" (1x05)

you know, i initially forgot that s1 was only 6 22-minute episodes. i thought it had 8 episodes for some reason. anyways, we're getting to the tail end of things here.

i remember writing a novella for nanowrimo as an assignment in my junior year of high school and i'm pretty sure the idea for the storyline came from "marooned". iirc i even made a direct reference towards it in the epilogue. (instead of focusing on a duo i only had one named character in the story, though, which was a self-imposed challenge.)

but moving on to the episode itself, the idea of the united states still existing and apparently colonizing space in the year 400 billion is certainly something. assuming it makes it that far into the future, that's probably what it'll be doing, ngl.

behold: the skinny jeans experience

this episode is best-remembered for the unique environment and it's certainly earned. i haven't seen this episode in at least a couple of years, but a lot of this stuff is burned into my subconscious and is an aesthetic vibe. i haven't seen the film fantastic planet, even though i feel like it'd probably work as a point of comparison. a work i am more familiar with that it reminds me of, though, is the video game adaptation of i have no mouth and i must scream. gotta love psychedelic sci-fi hellscapes

[insert joke about how straight men draw female vs. male anthros here]

i like how these guys look. they aren't fully animated so the paintings are just kind of shuffled around on top of the cel backgrounds, which reminds me a little of monty python.

i find it interesting that the commander hoek & cadet stimpston episodes often have pretty bleak endings. i guess that's why stimpy refers to it as a drama in the opening.

moving on to "untamed world," the focus in this episode is definitely on the funky animal designs, which makes it a good match for the first half. both indulge in weirder settings and character designs. ren and stimpy themselves feel as if they're drawn with slightly more reserved expressions in this one, at least in most scenes; a lot of the focus is on the creatures that are based off of them, so i suppose that makes sense.

i think this yucky little salamander is my favorite of those. i have a soft spot for deep sea creatures and other animals that spend their entire lives in darkness. also, they remind me a bit of axolotls, except land-dwelling and with little satellite dishes in their heads.

the scrambling noise here is my favorite. i find that one of the most underrated aspects of this show is its sound design. sound design isn't a topic discussed very often in general, but this series has some of the best i've seen in a cartoon.

with all that out of the way, i'm really looking forward to the next episode. happy helmet time.

#ren and stimpy #rewatch #cartoon #op

[alotsgonnachange]

Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

#Saeran Choi #Saeran AE #Saeran after ending #Saeran AE spoilers #Mystic messenger #Mysme #Saeran after ending spoilers #mystic messenger spoilers

[primalvessel]

So, it’s been a few days, my thoughts are not in order but hey ho. What did I think about Endwalker? Obviously heavy spoilers for said expansion from start to finish. Please do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled for any part of Endwalker. This is also long~

I enjoyed it, I think that much goes without saying. But perhaps controversially I think I enjoyed Shadowbringers a bit more or at least found its story beats to be more impactful in general. Endwalker most certainly had its moments though and I think the bits of Endwalker that got to me, did so more than the ones in ShB.

I had a bit of an issue with every one of those sweeping vista introductions to the new areas being when it rained or was foggy though, so bright vibrant Thavnair was not very bright and vibrant for me sadly. There was one of those scenes where I could only see like, yellow fog.

The first dungeon was a cool idea but I was kind of disappointed in it, visually at least. Not very interesting to look at, though the bosses were cool. The dungeons that followed it were all fab though. I really enjoyed them.

The whole bodyswap section? Scared the absolute shit out of me. Knowing the amount of damage Zenos could do if he wanted to get a reaction out of the WoL. It really got to me. That said, while I was relieved that nothing really came of it, I was also really disappointed that all Zenos did was smirk and give the game away. The whole of Zenos’ intent has been to get a rise out of the WoL, to make him stop looking at the whole End of Days thing and make the WoL look at him. Imagine how the WoL’s priorities would change if Zenos had fucked shit up at Broken Glass in the guise of the WoL. Not only would the WoL potentially have perceived Zenos to be the greater threat but the heartache it would have caused.

Just. Ugh. After all that panic running through Garlemald and Zenos does nothing but smirk? Weh.

I did enjoy everything about Garlemald though. The story there was fantastic, the bleakness of the city, the desolation there was eerie and I loved it. Hearing the story of the Garleans was interesting too, invoking a little sympathy for them but still not excusing their actions.

Labyrinthos was an interesting area and I love the idea of the Gleaners. Made me want a Gleaner oc ngl. Erenville was also cute. Sharlayan on the whole was kinda not interesting to me though and since Maru can’t actually read (those quests where reading was required, he asked people instead) it wasn’t really his kind of place. Though I will say that I liked the development of Fourchenault towards the end and Ameliance was lovely to meet.

Elpis was neat but it was getting to meet Hythlodeus that made me particularly happy. He was a fab character and the way he played off Emet-Selch’s dour nature was always fun to see. Venat was fab and I loved hanging out with her.

I think my biggest gripe has to be with Zenos. All the way through Endwalker he just pops up to say a few words and express his disappointment before leaving again like ‘hi, I’m still here!’ Even the ‘meal’ scene before the bodyswap reveal felt awkward. And when he meets you in the endgame, it’s really cool that he’s a dragon until all you do is ride on his back. He’s just a platform. Maybe that gets changed up a bit in the extreme but I was disappointed again with that. The final fight was neat though. The fist fight felt a little contrived but at the same time, getting to punch Zenos in his stupid face at last (sorry Zenos you were better in earlier expansions) was kinda nice actually.

I wasn’t a big fan of going all the way to the edge of creation for the finale though really. I felt it took things too far away from the Source and gave everything a feeling of detachment from the disaster back in Eorzea. The areas themselves and the dungeon and trial all felt cool with interesting ideas but so far removed from skies raining fire back home that it felt difficult for me at least to connect the two. And the sacrifices the scions made didn’t feel impactful because Thancred ‘dying’ offscreen wasn’t very impactful and kind of gave away the fact that he wasn’t dead and therefore the others wouldn’t be either.

I did like the WoL activating the teleporter and then letting it go so it didn’t take them with it.

And finally. I think our return to the source would have been far more interesting if the WoL hadn’t woken on the journey back. You’d have everyone celebrating the return of the Ragnarok, the skies are clear and the End of Days averted and then the scions filter out of the ship with the WoL borne on the litter. I’d have liked to have seen Fourchenault’s reaction to the promise of keeping his children safe kept, but at the WoL’s expense. I did like that they made it clear that the WoL was hurting though and he didn’t just walk that one off.

So all in all, I enjoyed it a lot. Please let me romance Thancred or Aymeric though. Pls. I’d like to be wined and dined by the Speaker again.

#ooc #Endwalker spoilers #EW spoilers #SPOILERS #Spoily spoilers #mun musings

[homefronttmoved]

♫ / taichihaya c:

send me ♫ and I will make a 5-10 SONG PLAYLIST for our muses!   \   accepting.   @heartfated. 

001.   always i’ll care  /  jeremy zucker. 

okay i’m going to preface this playlist with  THIS SONG.  it’s for that short period of them not talking,  where taichi is just trying to distance himself from chihaya and everything that reminds him of her.  i feel like the lyrics just mirror every single one of those moments while also mirroring those slivers of hope given to us through symbolisms that they will eventually find their way back to each other regardless. 

002.   alright  /  keshi. 

this is the song for their tag and it makes me want to cry every single time.  i feel like this is what chihaya’s side is like after taichi’s confession.  the lyrics just giving us the whole chihaya thinking about them before everything that went down.  her being sad and obviously shattered at the situation before coming to terms with it eventually.  and lastly her being just...  hopeful that he’ll come back to her?   ( with or without you i waited my whole life  /  i can wait a little longer )   and just...  yeah this pretty much sums up the chihaya side of that whole angst arc. 

003.   dreaming alone   /   against the current. 

oh god...  PINING...  THE MUTUAL PINING IS REAL IN THIS ONE.  ignoring the implication that there is someone else in the picture in the song’s context   ( or not,  we both know arata’s a factor here HFKJDHFJDKF ).  this just feels like the mutual pining post confession but also prior to the confession ?   like  is it me that you see when you fall asleep  /  cause you know it’s you  /  i dream about every night   tell me that is not the epitome of their mutual pining.  and the last line????  it will always be you and me  /  so why do we keep dreaming alone ?   THEY’RE ENDGAME. 

004.   why do i still   /   nieman. 

ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  the mutual pining is real in this one too?   but also it dwells more on the friendship and the  fear  of losing that if one makes a wrong step.  it literally says:  i can’t reveal how i really feel  /  cause i’m scared of ruining what we’ve built  taichi’s hesitance to tell chihaya anything ?  while being  LOUD  about it through his actions ?  yep...  this song just...  perfectly mirrors all of that.  and this is taking into account that they have built an empire together with the mizusawa high karuta club...   that’s like a LOT at stake.  i feel like this song just captures a lot of that fear and hesitance. 

005.   tell her you love her  /  echosmith. 

TAICHI THIS IS FOR YOU :DDDD  but mostly for pre-confession taichi.  i don’t think i need to explain this further tbh,  the title speaks for itself. 

006.   lite   /   loop. 

the way this song is so poetic never fails to get me EVERY SINGLE TIME.  taichihaya being each other’s pillars of support is something that i feel like is mirrored in this song ?  especially taichihaya after their short separation after junior high.  i just know that chihaya’s life is completely  BLEAK  without taichi.  the way chihaya dealt with playing karuta alone while searching for people who would share the same interests with her wholeheartedly?  and while chihaya may be  extremely  oblivious regarding social situations in general,  i just know that she feels a little lonely knowing that her friends couldn’t quite take who she is wholly.  everyone she’s met all kind of found the karuta loving part of her weird and that makes her sad and then BAM taichi comes back into her life and suddenly everything is okay again.  because he’s there and suddenly the world is back on its axis. 

007.   a little braver   /   new empire. 

this song made me cry so many times,  ngl.  but the way i see it...  this is sort of an ode for when they finally get together?  when they finally find themselves in the end  —  with chihaya finally being able to stand on her own two feet especially with karuta without being dependent on taichi’s close support   ( she has to come to terms that taichi supporting her from afar while finding himself amongst the mess that is everything post-confession arc is possible and that just because there’s a time where he’s not beside her,  it doesn’t mean that he hates her  or  that he’s stopped being her friend entirely ),  and taichi finally being able to love karuta in a way that’s not centered on chihaya as well as finding something else that motivates and inspires him that is not chihaya or his feelings for her.  because you know...  when all of this happens...  they’re both a little braver and more mature than they have been and they’re ready to start over again. 

#heartfated #long post / #* — ♥ ; ayase chihaya. \ insp. #* — ♥ ; ayase chihaya. \ answered. #* — ♥ ; i swear that i'll pick up the pieces. \ sh. chihaya & taichi. ( heartfated. ) #OK I'M NOT GONNA LIE THIS MADE ME CRY #ESPECIALLY THE LAST TWO SONGS #like it's a mix of painful and hopeful and that'S EXACTLY HOW I LIKE IT??? #this is my masterpiece #no cap

[ganymedesclock]

Dead Cells and the weight of small lives pt.1 (about Prisoner)

NGL this is at least partially me saltposting about “I don’t really understand how people read the Prisoner’s dialogue and look at his thoughts and see someone who’s a total unrepentant asshole or the same person as the King” but it’s also commentating on an interesting pattern I observe in the game and its worldbuilding.

The setting of Dead Cells is, no two ways about it, a very unpleasant world. It is awash in death. The apocalyptic zombie plague of the Malaise is just the final nail in its coffin, leaving a handful of uninfected survivors on top of the literal heaps of corpses of the kingdom’s inquisition. A fountain of blood flows in the highest castle in the land. It’s grim. It’s horrible. We can hear someone get murdered through an unbreakable door.

The interesting thing is... what the game tells you to do with it, through the perspective of the main character.

For clarity: Prisoner is not here to save anyone. He is not a hero on a quest. He is- well- a prisoner. On discovering he has a kind of immortality, he begins using it to make his way through the island, learning painful lesson after painful lesson, returning, returning, and returning again trying to achieve some kind of change on this degrading looping time. But the fact that you’re not specifically out to save people is that... well... basically nobody’s in a position to be saved. As mentioned, there’s not a lot of survivors, and most of the ones there don’t need you- they’re doing on their own, and if that happens to not be enough, it tends to be enough very suddenly, where you can’t reach them or weren’t there at the time and are left a little shaken, because they were fine the last time you checked.

Also, half of said survivors are trying really hard to kill Prisoner.

Thus, if you’re used to games where objective 1 is to Save Everyone, Rid The Land Of Evil, Prisoner might seem shockingly callous, I suppose. The thing is, I consider myself the emotional equivalent of a glass frog- I’m very thin-skinned with bleak hopeless narratives.

And yet. There is something about Dead Cells’ universe that doesn’t seem like an attack on me. And I think that it’s what the game has to say about “small lives”. The lives that are considered unimportant in a crisis.

The Island in Dead Cells is ruled by a major hierarchy. This is obvious from jump- one of the first bits of lore text you are likely to ever get starting the game up is this one, for the Prisoners’ Quarters, the first area you start in:

In the social hierarchy of the island, there are the dogs, the rats, and just below them, the prisoners.

Prisoner is sometimes called “The Beheaded” by official detail, but he is called “Prisoner” specifically by one of the service NPCs you meet in the corridors- so one of the most consistent entities you talk to that’s not trying to kill you, who is always happy to see you with a sunny, “Well, hello, Mr. Prisoner, sir!”

He also starts the game in a prison cell, his headless state is made clear to us that it was the result of an execution rather than a war wound (there’s a chopping block and an obviously used axe in his cell with him) and his default equipment is a collar that was clearly once used to restrain him. So when the game pronounces this to you about the island’s hierarchy, Prisoner is not speaking abstractly about ‘those other poor sods’-

He’s talking about himself.

The hierarchy of the island is a specter that stalks you through almost every level of the game- through the massive prison complex which is littered with evidence and recounting of the guards toying with prisoners’ lives, of numbered corpses, a revolting sewer containing a shackled, corrupted monster that seems to have lived her entire life in this very same prison; to the astonishingly humble fishing hamlet that lies directly at the foot of the soaring grandeur of the Clock Tower and the even greater heights of High Peak Castle.

To the discrepancy between the teeming, crowded tombstones of the Graveyard, to the sprawling labyrinthine nature of the Forgotten Sepulchre- where a handful of tombs are presided over by entire walls of skulls that we’re helpfully told belonged to the heads of the delegations of high-ranking dignitaries- said delegations were butchered to attend their masters’ burials evermore.

Right away, this is thrown to us not as something we are outside of or transcend, but a slap in the face. The world tells us that our avatar in this game does not matter- that his face and voice do not matter and these things were taken from him by violence.

The thing is... Prisoner does not shut up. The game is full to bursting with his thoughts. He has so much to say that it’s jarring when we’re used to being alone with all his thoughts to meet another person and suddenly be reminded they hear nothing of what he’s saying, like a dramatic version of Garfield Minus Garfield.

Through revival, through cycles, the expectation of the gameplay is we are living the experience of Prisoner and what Prisoner’s experience is, is a one-man raging against a situation that’s telling him to shrivel up and die because he’s not important. It doesn’t want to be fair to him. It doesn’t want to be nice to him. It doesn’t care how much he’s hurting or if he doesn’t own a decent pair of shoes to his name, or if he doesn’t even have a name to speak of.

But Prisoner does not give up. He in fact does the opposite of giving up. After playing this game for a good while, I fired up some Hollow Knight and it really hit me like a truck that Prisoner spends most of the game tearing around near top speed, cartwheeling and sprinting and hauling up ledges and slamming down ledges. The pace of the game is fast, fast, fast, all intense, all in, and you’re encouraged to take risky gambles with an already precarious system like temporarily taking on one-hit-you’re-dead curses in exchange for more damage output or better loot.

The animated trailers make this even clearer. Prisoner gets his shit wrecked.

A lot.

At best, he can have some moments of feeling like an unstoppable god, but just about the time you start to get really worried for that cute little mushroom baby and their caretaker you are reassured that Prisoner’s reign of hubristic wrath comes to a hard stop thanks to inertia, and spikes.

And I will say more than many cinematic trailers, Motion Twin really did a remarkable job of matching this 1-to-1 with the actual experience of playing the game. I have even literally swaggered into a fight with the Giant much the same way Prisoner breaks out that cool spear flourish Moment Of Challenge only to immediately eat shit directly into his laser beam eyes, that I was not prepared for because he hadn’t used them last fight.

Prisoner is not valiant, triumphant, or wildly successful. His final bastion is skill and ingenuity.

This puts a really interesting spin on what I said before- that Prisoner is not here to save anybody, even himself.

Prisoner frankly does not have that kind of power.

There’s nobody in a vulnerable state you even have the option to choose to abandon. People live or die, and it’s really not up to you. There are a few deaths Prisoner takes into his own hands- the King and the Collector notably- but even those people, like... the King appears comatose by the time you reach him, and the Collector not only tries to kill you but is revived thanks to time strangeness- and another death that can happen, and is erased by the time looping- the unnamed sewer prisoner who wants you to go fetch the teleportation rune for him (ahem. he wants you to retrieve his rune, that definitely rightfully belongs to him) ostensibly to get out of jail but when you find his body, not only is he dead of a fate the rune wouldn’t have saved him from, but his objective, revealed, was that he was trying to get to a treasure chest he’d hidden earlier.

The one time it can really be said, outside of the boss fights or executing the King, that Prisoner really decides if someone lives or dies, is...

Mushroom Boi.

For the uninitiated, Mushroom Boi is a little summonable mushroom child that is equipped as a skill. Triggering the skill once will summon him. Triggering the skill while he’s already summoned will cause him to self-destruct, taking out enemies in the area and, by the game description, “violate your very soul”.

After this, you can without any consequence whatsoever summon him again, and blow this poor child up as much as you want. It does not really seem to slow him down any- but the game still, distinctly, frowns on it. You have a reward in the form of an achievement for keeping him with you without sacrifice, aforementioned crack about sacrificing him “violating your soul”, and, just, how can you be mad at this cute little guy? he has a tiny bow! He’s an extremely useful companion! Mechanically, you do not really hurt for want of the sacrifice ability if you summon him and then never touch that button again.

Given that Prisoner spends so much of the game alone with his thoughts, and the person who gives him access to Mushroom Boi, the Collector, has, to put it mildly, a long history of using and discarding people including implicitly children, there has to be some kind of implicit in-universe-source for the idea that you’d feel crushing guilt for detonating your son and boy like that, and the angle that makes the most sense is Prisoner.

So, Prisoner is someone who feels really guilty for painfully inconveniencing a summonable construct mushroom in a way that it does not seem to hold against him at all. At the same time, there’s really a shortage of ways that you can personally hurt anybody who’s not trying to kill you or being particularly exploitative (aforementioned teleportation rune sewer guy, who Prisoner goes as far as to flip off after he lunges and tries to either claw prisoner or grab the rune from him by force)

The most disrespectful Prisoner tends to be are to one of three categories of people:

Dead bodies that cannot feel or particularly care if he kicks them, that he usually kicks either specifically to loot or, as what seems to be some kind of weird bad idea where he plants his naked foot on a waterlogged corpse and then declares “ew” like what did you expect to happen actually

People who have one way or another tried to exploit him for their personal gain directly at his expense so he nearly gets murdered- or in FACT gets murdered- while they sit back and wait for him to succeed and bring them the reward.

Aforementioned people who are trying openly to kill him and even then he only flips off the Giant basically because the Giant flips him off first. This is kinder than I feel about the Giant. I like the Giant but I feel like someone with laser beam eyes that uses them like that deserves more than just one retaliatory middle finger.

And this meshes with other factors, but the post is long enough I’ll break off here.

#Dead Cells #The weight of small lives #readmore