#and now who knows how long i have to wait for that character to get rolled again. im in pain

[thecapricunt1616]

Very First Time (c.b. one-shot)

♡ Chapter Inspo: So High School - Taylor Swift ; "You know what you wanted & boy you got her" ♡ Summary: Based on ✩This✩ big brained ask from @carmenberzattosgf ♡ W/C: 9.4K ♡ Posted Date: 06/11/2024 ♡ A/N: Omg I had so much fucking fun writing this you have no idea!!! I hope this satisfies your virgin carmy tooth my dirty olive martini! Also, New look for this one shot how are we feeling yall? ♡ Warnings for BTC: SMUT SMUT SMUT, Characters are 18+, High school relationship, childhood best friend trope, virgin!carmy, Fem!/AFAB!Reader, R has long hair, No use of Y/N (r goes by childhood nickname 'squish'

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

2010

You had thought about this year at least monthly since … well - kindergarten. This was your year. 

Graduation year. 

4 decent years of high school were coming to a close. You were freshly 18 as of last week, and felt exactly the same. You actually felt worse now that your birthday had passed you by. Why? Oh. Virginity. Still having one, that thing. 

As far as you knew, all of your friends had lost theirs by now, well - you weren’t so sure. You’d think asking your longest time friend if they were also holding onto their precious dire to get rid of virginity cards as well would be easy, right? 

Wrong. Very wrong. 

This was because your bestest longest term friend? You’d been concealing a massive crush on him since sophomore year. Well, actually - technically 7th grade, when he saved your volcano from prematurely erupting by pouring borax in the hole from his project about borax crystallization after the nastiest girl in the grade dumped the cup of vinegar in it while you weren’t looking so it would explode prematurely while the teacher wasn’t watching and you’d get zero credit. 

But, you told yourself that he was just a really nice person like his sister who had babysat you a few times, so he’d probably heard about you from her and was simply being friendly. Nevertheless, the interaction made you fast friends. 

What sealed the deal to you being so close, though, was when a few days later one of the mean boys in the grade tried to make Carmy his newest victim by continually throwing pencils at the back of his head. He did this every class to someone new, and always while the teacher wasn’t looking. 

You had waited just until half a second before the pencil flew and  “Mrs.Harrison!” urgently left your lips, she quickly looked up, just in time to see the moron let the pencil go, it hit the back of Carmys head, and for Carmy send him a silent glare. 

“Jared! That’s a week of detention. It has been you with those pencils. I’m calling home too- this disruptive behavior is unacceptable!” She was so focused on writing out detention slips that she didn’t even remember you had grabbed her attention. Carmy gave you one of his shy close-mouthed smiles that made his adorable dimples show before going back to drawing some pair of cargo jean looking things on the inside of his notebook cover. 

This sealed your friendship because you had shown him your loyalty. You have my back, I have yours was always the mentality between you two. By the time you got to high school, you and Carmy were attached at the hip. In middle school, specifically in eighth grade, people would tease you two that you were dating. 

The both of you were late bloomers and hadn’t even thought about Carmy or anyone in that way yet, but by sophomore year of high school the teasing really hit home because you did have a crush on him but thought you were absolutely sure he could never like you back, that he saw you as a sister. 

Until one fateful June afternoon. 

You were laid on your full sized bed together in your childhood bedroom, flicking through a J-14 magazine to get all the latest gossip on the celebrities you follow when you settle on the Ask Sabrina page, a forum where a girl answers dating and love questions. 

Dear Sabrina, 

I was wondering - what age should you have your first kiss, French kiss, lose your virginity etc? I’m already 16 and I haven’t had sex yet, I had my first kiss at 14 and my first French kiss this year. But I feel like such a loser cause all my friends are having sex, and say it’s so much fun!! Is it really worth the hype? 

Jane from California

You roll your eyes. 16 and already had her first French kiss. She was 2 years ahead of you in that sense. You hadn’t had sex yet, either. You hadn’t really kissed a boy for real either. The only kiss you’d had to date was -

Ew! 

You had to rectify this situation immediately. The only kiss you’d had to date was Billy Guerrero? In fifth grade?! You couldn’t believe yourself. You’d let time slip away, you’d let your real first kiss prime time slip away. What guy is gonna want a girl at college who was gonna want to date a girl who can’t even kiss properly! You’d bet Carmy had kissed girls, hell he’d probably had sex already. With who you weren’t sure because the only person Carmy opened his mouth to give more then a muttered yes or no were you, and his direct family. 

Maybe it was with Claire down the street, she always seemed to you to be sweet on him. He would probably be better for him, anyway. If Mikey wasn’t teasing him about her being his girlfriend, he was teasing about you being his girlfriend. Each time he brought it up Carmy would go red as a tomato and tell him to shut up, and if Richie was around it would get even worse. 

You wondered if he liked it, why he didn’t tell you about it - wait - why hadn’t the two of you talked about sex? It wasn’t until this moment you’d realized you’d never breached the topic. You laid your magazine on your chest, flicking the cover of Carmys Spider-Man comic with your nail to get his attention from your position sprawled out over his thighs as your pillow. 

“Mm” he hums in response, blue eyes continuing to move across the page. That was something you always loved about Carmy, those large round blue eyes. You loved to tease him that he looked like Flik from bugs life. You’d done very intense studying of those eyes from your many intense staring contests over the summer breaks you two spent together, he would cheat to win, of course - but you liked having an excuse to look at his eyes, so you didn’t mind. 

“What was your first kiss like?” You test the waters. Without even realizing what you had done, he mirrored you and laid his open comic on his chest to hold his page so he could give you his full attention. 

“First kiss?” He repeats. You couldn’t believe how much better his stutter had gotten over last summer. He had told you he wanted it gone or at least as gone as he could get it by the time you went off to college, so the two of you checked out all the speech pathology books the library had to offer and got to work every day. It was hard work, but after about a month he got the hang of it. 

“Very first kiss, well - real kiss” you clarify and by nature he brushed away your bangs that had fallen in front of your eyes from the woosh of air that came from putting his comic down. 

“Uh- w-wh-“ he stops himself, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, focusing really hard on what he was trying to say and a few seconds later he tries again “what’s a real kiss? Like a kiss that’s not just the back of my hand?” He joked and you snorted a chuckle, rolling your eyes playfully. 

“Yes dummy like- like a real kiss on a date or something or like…I dunno have you ever had a girlfriend? Well, before you met me? Would a 6th grade girlfriend count?” You thought out loud. You hadn’t ever had a boyfriend before, and Carmy hadn’t said he was dating anyone and spent all of his time with you that wasn’t spent at home or at school, so you could safely assume he hadn’t, but just wanted to be sure. 

“n-no- no girlfriend uh- why do you ask?” He cleared his throat that way Richie did after he asked a question he knew was stupid and you shrugged a bit 

“So who have you kissed? Claire?” You ask and those big blue eyes go wide as saucers as he shakes his head no like a bobble head 

“What - what?! W-why why would you think I kissed Claire? Claire- Claire Dunlap? from down the street?” He clarified, his cheeks heating up

“Woah! Do you have a crush on her?” You sat up and he groaned, rubbing over his face dramatically. 

“Squiiish. Not you too” he groaned dramatically. “No! I don’t like Claire! Actually to be f-fucking honest everyone always trying to cram her down my throat makes me hate her!” He huffed 

“Well then who have you kissed! A real kiss!?” You question with a laugh, unsure why he was being so secretive over something so small. The two of you could vote in the next election for Christ sake, a kiss shouldn’t be this big of a deal. 

“No one!” He blurts, the heat from his cheeks bleeding up to the tips of his ears and down his neck and collarbones. “There. Ok! No one and I sure as fuck didn’t kiss Claire Dunlap.” He crossed his arms, averting your gaze. You were sat there, just staring. You were frankly trying to absorb that, it was surprising to you with such a stud of an older brother - he hadn’t gotten around. 

“Me either” you said after a few beats of silence and his eyes quickly found yours again, mouth dropping slightly and he blinked a few times, the way that told you he was trying to digest what you were saying. 

“Y-you haven’t kissed Claire-“

“Anyone” you interrupted. His jaw dropped like a trout as he stared at you in shock and you grabbed your magazine, rolling it up and bonking him on the head with it.  “Don’t look at me like that! You haven’t kissed anyone either! I technically have you beat because I kissed Billy G. at recess in fifth grade once even though it was just like… a mom kiss you know like a- like” you demonstrate a little puckery peck of your lips. 

His eyes narrowed with jealousy and you smiled proudly “Squish, one - Bear? Zero” that was one thing about you two, you were always in a competition of some kind. Who could run farther, who could read a book faster, who could get their homework done first, you never realized it translated into other things too, and that neither of you were in the lead. 

“I bet I’m better then you at kissing even though I haven’t done it I’ve practiced more so I’m good when it’s time for me to show my skill” he smirked, picking up his comic again. You scoffed 

“Practice? On what, your bathroom mirror? It doesn’t count if it’s not a person, dummy.” You said and he shrugged 

“Find out” he said casually, eyes not tearing up from the page. Now it was your cheeks that felt like they were on fire. Find out?! Find out what, does he even realize what he’s offering you right now?! 

“Find out? What- you want to kiss me?” You said and he smirked a bit, dimples showing and his eyes flick back to yours. 

“It’s you who wants to kiss me. I told you I’m a better kisser then you, so, if you don’t believe me why don’t you come find out.” He mused and went right back to reading. You sat there for a few moments, dumbfounded. You had a crush on Carmy, but it was only founded when you weren’t together - well, that was a lie, you still thought about kissing him while you were with him but would scold yourself for it that it was weird because he’s your best friend and it’s wrong to think of him that way. 

But now he was just offering like it was his apple he didn’t want at lunch.  

“French or regular?” You ask, trying to play it cool and the astonished look on his face led you to cackle, shoving his shoulder “what?! Stop looking at me like that weirdo!” You said and he smiled, shaking his head and doing one of those slow Carmy blinks as he sighs, a little smirk on his lips. He always reminded you of Natalie when he did that, he must have gotten it from her. 

“You want me to stick my tongue in your mouth?” He mused and you nod

“I actually think it goes both ways- and with 0 practice I’d win. Sure of it.” You said cockily and shrugged a bit. He snorts a chuckle

“And how do we determine a winner?” He asked, shutting his comic and resting it on the nightstand next to your bed like he was genuinely weighing the offer in his mind. 

You were quiet for a few moments, looking at him carefully - and it seemed like he was serious as you were, so you said “It’s supposed to feel good, right? So…whoever like..moans first?” 

“Uh o-okay- okay sure um.” He swallowed thickly, wiping his hands on his jeans that you assumed were clammy now how they got when he was nervous. “So- how- how do you wanna like- sit,” he asked. Fuck. You were just now realizing you weren’t actually sure. Your heart was thumping so hard in your chest, blood was roaring in your ears. This was all going so fast - you were going to do it. You were going to kiss your crush. 

“Uh-“ you said stupidly, tucking your hair behind your ears and digging your chapstick out of your pocket, cause guys like soft cherry flavored lips, right? If he was kissing you for a stupid competition you may as well make it good. “Yeah um. I think, maybe criss cross? Right? Like how we would play sailer by the sea” you crossed your legs and sat in front of him 

“We should play later I’ve been practicing with nat - I’m totally gonna beat you” he crossed his legs, and you moved in closer so your knees were touching but your faces were still about 2 feet apart, too big a distance for a kiss. “Also- we’re gonna need to be closer” he said plainly. You snorted a laugh,

“Yes - we can play. How am I supposed to get closer?” You asked, and in one fluid motion he stuck his hands under your calves, and uncrossed your legs before dragging you forward quickly and wrapping your legs around his waist. You could feel his breath. 

“There” he looks at you, eyes fanning from your eyes to your lips and back again. “That’s ok, right?” The low softness of his voice, mixed with the action of him just taking control how he did - it sent this feeling down to your core that felt so good. Like a pleasureful pulsing heartbeat, the only time you got that feeling was when you were alone in bed at night squeezing your thighs together thinking about Carmy. 

“Mmhmm” you hummed, unsure what to do with your hands so you settled for placing them on your thighs. “So- uh- ok. I guess um..let’s get started?” Your voice was small, nervous. A definite switch of roles for the two of you. You weren’t sure if this was normal, but you assumed it was for Carmy. 

He was being so normal about it, the same normal he was when you got your period at his house - he just went to Natalie’s bathroom, and came back to the guest bathroom with a few pads and tampons for you, as well as feminine wipes - normal. Not weird, like this happens every day for him. Like - periods (or in this case) sex isn’t the most embarrassing thing to teen life. His chill demeanor told you that he strictly saw it as a platonic friendly competition, so why do your panties feel sticky all the sudden?

“It’s ok- we don’t have to-“ he’s interrupted by your lips on his, 

Now or never, right? 

It was warm, a little messy at first, you found out quickly you should close your eyes since he closed his and once you did it was much easier to just focus on the sensation. His lips were soft, he tasted like the bowl of trix cereal he must have had before he came over. The way his lips moved with yours was… gentle, sweet, unhurried- you found yourself chasing them when he pulled away slightly and that caused you to open your eyes 

“You-“ he huffs a small chuckle “you have t’kiss back, Squish. S’like i’m kissing a wall here” he said. You took a shaky breath, not even realizing you were just sat there like a dead fish, unmoving, in awe that his lips were really on yours. If you hadn’t just finished your period a week ago you’d be scrambling to the bathroom to see what was going on because you were gushing. 

“Uh- sorry- sorry. I was just warming up” you clear your throat awkwardly, fingers tapping on your thighs nervously “lets try again” you said, leaning in and additionally mashing your nose with his “ow- oh- gosh, sorry” you giggle and he followed suit 

“S’not your fault my beak is getting in the way” he joked, gently tilting your face and bringing his lips back to yours. You got the message this time, moving your lips with his and wow. It felt…good. That heartbeat right above your cunt had never pulsed so hard before, it nearly hurt and you weren’t sure what to do about it with him right there. 

You’d usually use the firm corner of one of your throw pillows you kept on your bed when this uncomfortable sensation happened, thinking of exactly this - kissing Carmy - and hump it, and hump it, and hump it, until you were frustrated to tears because you still felt like you weren’t finished. That the feeling would never go away unless you stopped thinking about Carmy like that - but it was addictive, and you couldn’t help but think you were chasing something. 

It all elevated when you felt his tongue on your bottom lip, it was almost like the sensation in your core was beginning to travel throughout your entire body and that had never happened before. It went from just that strong pulsing in your cunt, travelling to a tightness that was winding up in your stomach, your breasts felt good - as strange as that thought was, the only time you remembered they were there was when they were sore because your period was coming, so the warm gushy feeling in your chest and the pangs of pleasure that were coursing through you from the simple swipe of his tongue was something to be revered.

From there, it was like you were following a script you hadn’t even known you’d memorized. Your hands found his shoulders, before travelling to the back of his neck and rubbing over the little curls at the base. You swipe your tongue over his, fingers sprawling over the back of his head to pull him in closer. You didn’t know what came over you, but you deepened the kiss, and he accepted. His hands found the back of your waist, squeezing gently and trailing up your sides, stopping hard below your breasts.

You pulled away, looking at him. If it was any other day, he’d have thought you were initiating a staring contest, but the blown-out look in your eyes and small pants leaving your lips reminded him of when their family cat had a little too much catnip and started climbing the screen doors, wild. His eyes nearly fell out of his head when the next question left your lips 

“Have you had sex before?” your voice was breathy, if you had known better you’d have called it for what it was - horny. The only thing on your mind was Carmy, not how your mom would be home any minute and you forgot to take out the chicken for dinner, not how it probably isn’t a normal thing for best friends or any friends really, to kiss. But you and Carmy hadn’t really ever been ‘normal’ friends. 

“Uhhh” he tried to find his words. He looked so pretty. His cheeks were the pretty flush pink you loved on him so much, it suited him. His lips were swollen and kiss bitten and red. You realized that the glossiness on them was a mixture of your salivas and that brought a burst of that delicious warmth to your chest. “N-no, haven’t have you- I mean- can you have sex without kissing?” he wondered out loud.

“I don’t want to leave high school a virgin” you blurt out. It was half true, you did feel a bit like a loser, even though you could always lie and tell people you had done it even if you hadn’t. It also felt like the one opportunity was presenting itself for you to have sex with your childhood crush and if he agreed, then a win is a win in your book.

“Alright and- and uh” he sits back on the headboard, huffing a chuckle and rubbing over his mouth as he thought, staring up at the ceiling to try and get a gauge on what he was about to say. It was one of the habits he’d picked up during all of your speech practice together, it was cute, almost like he was stopping the words from falling out of his mouth before he was ready to say them so it didn’t come out all jumbly and stuttered. “And you wan’t help with this- i’m assuming you see it as a problem? Thats why you brought it up, right? You want help with that…issue” he mused. 

Suddenly, you felt really, really shy. Shy, stupid, flustered, any synonym for embarrassed and feeling like a complete and utter moron. “I shouldn’t have said anything - i’m sorry, uh- you win” You got up, going over to your dresser and digging out your after-school clothes to change since you were in jeans still. Why the hell would you say that? What, was he gonna just offer to have sex with y-

“I-I mean- I don’t want to, either. I just uh- haven’t… y’know - met anyone who I trusted enough to do it with. But- it- it felt good… the kiss? So, if you wanted we could um..cause- cause I trust you, I trust you more then like…anyone- so, yeah- I-I mean it’s like- like a favor right? You uh…scratch my back- er whatever the saying is- if- if you want to” you looked back at him to see him rambling with his gaze locked on the floor, clearly feeling as stupid and embarrassed as you feel. 

Holy shit, this may actually happen. 

“Yeah- yeah” you agree, mulling it over in your mind. He’s right, this shouldn’t change your friendship, because from what you’d heard - losing said virginity wasnt fun, it was weird, uncomfortable, and a little gross sometimes, so it was almost like you two could get the awkward first time part out of the way together so you could both hit the ground running in terms of dating and hooking up when it came to college, cause that's what college was supposed to be all about, right? Finding the love of your life?

“Sure- Uh-” you swallow thickly and toss him one of the many pairs of sweatpants he kept in your dresser for when he slept over as well as a fresh t-shirt and grab yourself a clean pair of panties from your top drawer since although the awkwardness had taken away that dull needy ache, you were still uncomfortably wet and had to get yourself cleaned up and changed. “How about Friday? My parents have their date night so- you could come over after school and we can um…do it?” you ask and he nodded quickly, grabbing the sweatpants and sweatshirt.

“Yeah- perfect, that’s - mmhmm” he swallowed hard, cheeks bright red. You would totally be making fun of him right now if you weren’t absolutely sure you looked just as flustered, the two of you sharing at eachother in silence like a pair of deer in headlights. 

“I’m gonna go change” you said and left the room, closing the bathroom door behind you and sighing deeply to yourself, leaning against the door. 

And so it was set. 

Carmy had exactly 3 days to study up on this topic other than sophomore health class he knew absolutely nothing about. Well- he had found one of Michaels Playboy magazines before when he was 14, it was the first time he popped a boner and it freaked him out so bad since his father wasn’t very present and Mike hadn’t given him the talk yet. It was a solid 2 months of worrying that he had some weird dick cancer because he got hard every time he peeked through said porn-mag before he asked Mike about it, and he still hasn’t lived down the teasing. Thank god Mike kept his word on not telling Richie.

The moment he left your house that day it was straight to the Chicago public library. 3 books, 3 days. He was going to do his homework on this, because he was going to win the game he knew was inevitably pun intended coming his way. It was going to become a competition, and he knew the name of the game in sex was an orgasm, he knew that much at least, thank god. 

The 3 titles he’d settled on, 

Sex For Dummies ; He’d figured that should speak for itself, it sounded to him like the beginners guide to fucking. He wondered why every teen didn’t get a copy of this book, he’d heard guys talking about how sometimes girls are really bad in bed - so if everyone got one, like the dictionaries they all got in elementary school - he thought their lives would probably be made easier in that department.

She Comes First; and boy, was that a read. He stayed up so late Wednesday night reading it that you had to wake him in homeroom when the bell rang to go to first period. He didn’t know there were so many things to know about a vagina, but he was confident now he probably knew more then any guy in the school about pussys and what gets them going at least on paper once he read all 350 pages in one day.

He comes next; It made alot of sense. This was the breaziest read for him, he sat on the L after school reading it on the ride home. Of course, the front was covered in a brown paper bag he’d taped to it so no one could tell what he was reading, he wasn't a pervert! He was glad he read she comes first, first, because he’d learned that girls can cum more then once, and that when they do - it gets better each time. He also learned that the clit is the best part to touch, and that it actually has like- a tail? Or something? Inside that you can mess with too, and it feels super good for the girl. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to find something like that with his dick, but he guessed he’d figure it out.

The day was finally here. You had been thinking about it all week long. The prep you were doing was very different then the prep he was. You were making sure your entire body was smooth, plucking your eyebrows, waxing your upper lip, whitening your teeth, shaving your big toe. Literally, anything and everything grooming. You had put on a lacy pink thong that you’d gotten at the mall a year or so ago in preparation for the night you finally did this, but after observing yourself in the mirror you felt insecure about it. It was just Carmy, he wasn’t into you, it would be weird if you tried to be sexy, right? Like you were trying to seduce him or something? So you settled on some plain grey panties, instead, and a black bra. 

You heard a knock at the door right at 7. Exactly on time, per usual. Your parents had left for their date 20 minutes ago, so it was perfect timing. When you opened the door, you heart may as well have melted and poured out of your ass to see Carmy standing there with a bundle of red roses. “Hey- uh- so - got you these” he thrust them in your direction. They were already cut, and thornless, ready to be plopped in a vase. You could see a little bandage on the pinky finger of his non-dominant hand that wasn’t there at school today, he must have pricked himself while he was trimming them up. 

“Y’get a girl flowers, you trim em’ up, n’for the roses gotta take the thorns off, eh’? Don’t wan’t t’hurt ylady do you? And you trim ‘em cause girls like it, makes em’ all even n’shit. N’it Makes em’ live longer too. Y’givin a gift not a chore heard? Flowers need to be able to be dropped in a vase and that's it, otherwise y’re a prick f’givin’ y’r lady a job t’do” Mikey explained as he snipped the thorns off of the roses he’d gotten for his date. The conversation stuck with Carmy all these years, he promised himself one day he’d put the advice to use.

“Oh- wow - Bear, these are like -” you leaned in, smelling them deeply, the sweet floral sense filling your nose “Wow- this is so sweet of you, you didn’t have to” you stepped back and opened the door wider. He followed you in, shutting the door behind him like usual.

“Mikey says it’s what y’do I guess, so - expect flowers from guys you do this with” he nudged you with his shoulder playfully. The action made your heart flutter but also stomach sink , heavy with nerves. Right. He’s here to just get something over with, like he was probably expecting you to be and the flowers were just a result of him wanting to do things right and not because he had any real, tangible feelings for you other than platonic.

“Mmm, will do. Thanks- I’m gonna go get these in some water, you can get settled” you told him and headed into the kitchen to find a vase. When you came back to the room his hoodie was neatly folded and sitting on your desk, his shoes tucked away beneath it and there was a… towel? On your bed? 

“Uh-” you set the vase of flowers on your dresser 

“Right- uh- so the towel, they say in the books for your first time, sometimes girls will bleed a little? Or- or if I do it right things can get really wet, so…just trying to be proactive I didn’t wanna make a huge mess y’know?” he explained while staring at the towel and rubbing the back of his neck nervously how he did, heat creeping across the bridge of his nose and onto his cheeks.

“You…studied?” you smile a bit at the idea. You wondered how he did so, did he just watch porn?! You had heard from girls with boyfriends that watch porn - the sex was usually bad, and that they went way to hard and fast. You hoped it wasn’t that.

“Yeah I read some stuff.. How else will I know what the fuck m’doin?” he watched you as you sat down on top of the towel, assuming that was the spot he meant for you. 

“Uh- yea…yeah. Ok, well thanks- I guess I should have studied, too. Didn’t even think about it- my legs are soft, though. And I shaved my - um- yeah.” you said, voice getting meeker and smaller by the end. The two of you were never like this, it was usually constant banter and comfortable silence. Awkwardness wasnt something the two of you experienced together up until now.

“Thank you- you didn’t have to it’s…it’s just hair. But um…go pee, before we get started- you should pee.” he sat down on the bed in front of you. You looked at him confused, brows furrowing together but before you could ask he added “In the books, they said for girls - it can feel like…like you need to pee, right before the good part if I do it right. So, if I do do it right- I want you to be able to finish instead of worrying if you’ll pee on me, so I figured if you go pee now then-” you held your hand up, shaking your head as you stood.

“No further info needed” you said as you padded off to the bathroom. Even though the shower you had taken not even an hour prior to him coming over was so thorough made you fresh as the day you were born you still wiped up with babywipes before coming back to see 2 granola bars and 2 bottles of water on the nightstand. “Are you planning on making me pass out or something?” you joked, sitting back on the towel like before. 

He chuckled a bit “Well if i’m that good my first time it’ll be a record or something I bet” he rubbed his forearm nervously “So um..should we kiss? Like last time?” he asked, averting your gaze. You didn’t know this, but he thought he was genuinely about to have a heart attack, and the only reason he was continuing instead of asking you to call an ambulance was because if he was to die in your bed while making out because of the sheer excitement that came with the potential of you touching his dick, he would have died happy. 

The question being asked in that soft, sweet tone of his- syrupy and honest, made your stomach flip- and there was a pang of warmth to your heat that made your heart jump to your throat with anticipation. You couldn’t answer, instead, you just nodded, not breaking his gaze. Jesus fucking Christ those eyes. You had only seen the ocean once, in Hawaii on a vacation. His eyes made you think of the waters in Maui, that was how blue. You could get lost in them like they were the ocean, they often rendered you speechless, like he could peer into your soul. “Okay” he said gently.

This time, the kisses started small. He gently pecked the corner of your lips, before you remembered that yes you had a job to do here as well, and you put your hand gently on the side of his cheek, barely touching him. He could feel you shaking, so he put his hand over yours, gently squeezing your four fingers as his lips captured yours in a tender, affectionate kiss. The feeling was so…different then last time. This time felt much more purposeful, and not in the get it over with way, in the i’ve been meaning to do this, way.

Honestly, the feeling made you dizzy. Not dizzy in the kind of way that immediately made you want to throw up, -

 (Carmy learned you got very motion sick very quick at your 15th birthday party when he, Mike, Natalie, and Richie were teaching you how to play dead-man on the trampoline and within 10 seconds of being bounced with your eyes closed by the 4 of them you were scrambling to throw up a mix of cake and pasta) 

- but dizzy in the way that you weren't forming any kind of memory of the encounter, and you also weren’t sure what you were doing - but you came to with your shirt off, dry humping your best friend as he laid sprawled over your floral duvet panting into each others mouths as your childhood teddybear watched the two of you manhandle eachother, he honestly looked like he was judging, but you mentally told him to fuck off.

“Yeah-” he breathed, his cheeks were a pretty pink, his pupils “I-I think that was um…better then last time. Do you feel hot? I feel hot” he admitted, swallowing hard as you both caught your breath. You looked down and oh, yeah - he's still fully dressed. You were still mostly dressed, too. Well, your shirt - you hadn’t a clue where it went, but your fluffy pajama pants were still suffocating your thighs and holy shit..

He is hard as a rock against your clothed pussy right now. 

You look back up at him, and nod in agreement. “Feels like - wow- yeah. Uh- m’hot” you got up and saw the evidence of his arousal straining against his jeans. “Uh- so…” you trail off 

“I think i’m supposed to do that part” he sat up, taking his shirt off in that silly boyish way with one fluid motion pulling it up over the back of his head, his sandy blonde hair becoming ruffled by the action. You look over his chest, not even bothering to not stare. That was the point of this whole thing right, to experience? In turn, he crossed his arms shyly, to be expected. Carmy had been open about his upset that he got more of his moms genes then his dads. He was short, softer-jawed, smaller-lipped, and bigger-eyed, the only thing he got was the big Italian Berzatto nose. 

His brother was tall, much broader, was able to grow a full face of stubble by 17. Carmy was still patchy, but he was proud of his little patch of curly brown hair in the middle of his chest. Mike kept telling him he would ‘grow like a weed’ as soon as he turned 20, he didn’t believe it, though. 

“Oh- yea? Thats what they said in your sex books” you teased and stepped forward, between his spread thighs, likely to give his dick breathing room. His hands found your hips as he snorted a chuckle 

“Shut up” he smiled and carefully pulled down the waistband of your pajama bottoms. “I did read…” he helped you step out of them, hands trailing up the backs of your now bare thighs. The action made goosebumps appear on your flesh, nearly made you shiver. “That you are supposed to cum first, it’s like…a warm up.” he explained, looking up at you as he made his way to hold your hips again. You realized quickly, that his hands were also trembling, and he kept stroking and petting you hoping you wouldn’t notice as much. 

Your panties had a dark spot on them that he became fixated on momentarily, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. You felt that twitching at his words, your hole clenching around absolutely nothing. You weren’t sure you could remember what color the sky was if someone asked at that moment, you were so focused on Carmy, it was like you two and this bedroom were the only things in the universe. “I haven’t been able to do it, I don’t think you’ll be able to - but you can try. How do you want to do this should I just lay down and I dunno… you stick it in? I got 3 boxes of condoms, different kinds just in case” you went to open your nightstand and he stopped you, grabbing your hand. 

He chuckled a bit, you took it as a you don’t know what you’re doing, let me explain kind of laugh, but really he was just wondering how the following words came out of his mouth “I’m supposed to eat your pussy, could I try?” 

You swore your knees went weak. Carmen, Carmen Berzatto wanted to go down on you. Thank god you made sure that department was taken care of so well in preparation. “Uhhh- alright” you sat down on the towel, twiddling your fingers nervously “So- wow uh” you giggle nervously, covering your mouth with your hand. 

“Your um..you look pretty, by the way” he said while looking at the duvet. He sounded as nervous as he was when he said that. He had thought you looked pretty from the moment he walked through the door, but was too nervous until you were both literally almost naked to say it. You could hardly believe it, because you did your best to not put in a ton of effort. Sure, you were very well groomed, but you didnt like - dress up or put makeup on or do your hair how you would have wanted, you were in regular bra and panties, and pajamas when he walked in. You were also pretty sure that you had a zit growing on your chin and really hoped he hadn’t noticed.

But, that was exactly why he thought you looked so pretty. He loved that you let him have you like this, well - in both senses. He felt so lucky to be able to see you comfortable, in your element. “Thanks, dork, so do you get the honors of taking my panties too?” you teased. That was the difference between you, when you got nervous you cracked jokes and made fun of him to ease the tension in your own mind  - when he got nervous he often got lost in the tension of his own mind causing him to go quiet. 

“I do actually, says the book- so lay down” he shoots back in the same teasing tone, a small smile gracing his lips once again. You, and his brother were the only 2 that could pull him out of his head so fast, and so easily. You shook your head, laying back on the pillows he’d set up and spreading your legs, laying your feet flat on the bed. He sat in front of you, running a hand up your leg and feeling over the soft, smooth skin. “You are really soft” he muttered, almost to himself, feeling up your thigh “Do you mind if I kiss you, here?” he asked gently, running a palm over the inner of your thigh. No one had ever touched you there, so the action made you shiver since the area was surprisingly sensitive.

“Sure” you said quietly, watching his every move with wide, curious eyes. You were sure the wet spot on your panties had grown tremendously due to the way you felt dripping down the curve of your ass, thank god for that towel when they come off or my sheets would probably soak through by the end of this. He started at your ankle, leaving gentle pecks and putting your manicured foot on his shoulder as he continued his journey of kissing up your shin, over your knee, not leaving a single part unkissed. If this is what sex was about, you totally got why all your friends were raving about it, because you were being driven absolutely wild and it hadn’t even really started yet. 

He kissed up to your thigh, laying down in between your legs. His forearms were wrapped around the plush of your thighs, hugging them as he left kisses over the waistband of your panties. The action made your stomach muscles clench at how good he was making you feel. You needed something to touch you, though. That was the only thing on your mind, but before you could ask - he beat you to it. “Would you be ok with me kissing your middle here?” his voice was husky, breathy. He was gripping your thighs so his hands wouldn't shake, he was fucking panting like he just ran the mile in P.E. and he wasn’t sure why. 

His mouth was watering at the smell of you, he had to fucking swallow a mouthful of spit before he could say something. He felt like a fucking starved animal, but he was gathering every polite, gentlemanly fiber of his being to remain kind, gentle. “Please do” you said and without hesitation, he was essentially making out with your cunt through your panties. The sight was filthy, but so sexy it was making your head spin. 

Whines and moans were leaving your throat you weren’t even aware of as you watch him, slack jawed and sucking at the fabric of your panties, grunting and moaning at the flavor. “T-take em off…please-” you weren’t sure where the bedroom voice that came out of you came from, but he seemed to like it at the way his eyes rolled and fluttered shut at the way you were begging for him to eat you out. 

He sat up just enough to get your panties pulled off, shoving them in the back pocket of his jeans before laying back down and resuming his position. “Taste so, so good, squish, better than I imagined” he said before kissing your mound. The wet clicking sound of your pussy clenching at his words made heat rush your cheeks in embarrassment, but it made his dick twitch against his jeans. “Can I kiss your clit?” he asked, the casualness of his tone made your head fall back on the pillow, covering your face with embarrassed hands at the vulgarity of it all.

“Go ahead, Bear” you said, smile lacing your voice. 

“I liked it when you were lookin’ at me, just so you know” he said, spreading you out with his fingers and looking for just a moment, he found it easily as it had grown nearly twice it’s size, peeking out of its hood. He attached his lips to it, just like the book he’d read said to do, and lightly sucked, before flicking his tongue lightly over it. Your hand clamps over your mouth to stifle the cry that left your throat, hips jerking and you grab his hair with your other hand, not even meaning to but tugging. 

This caused a moan to leave his throat, which in turn caused his lips to vibrate, and you looked down at him, vision hazy like a dream at the sensation. “God- oh god- feels so good Bear - wow- you’re so good at this” you said, breath heavy and jaw slack “uh-huh” you whine when he pads his tongue over your clit in wide, wet drags. The sounds his mouth was making as he sucked and kissed and lapped at your juices were absolute sin, the hottest shit you’d ever heard. 

“D’you like it more when I kiss your clit like I was doin’ or when I run my tongue on it like that?” he asked, sucking at your folds and nose nudging your clit as he waited for an answer. 

“Both - Both- everything feels good - you feel so good” you praised, pushing his bangs from his face. He smiled into you proudly, continuing to lick, and suck, and swirl his tongue. It had been a knot building for a while, and it had been about 30 minutes of him doing this, when you felt it. But, all the activities you’d been engaged in the conversation you had before you started slipped your mind. “Fuck- fuck - sorry- I gotta pee” you told him and tried to tug him off

“Y’dont, trust me, just trust me” he said determined, he had told himself before going into this that if he could make you cum, that it would be his prize because per the books he’d read one of the main complaints with women was that their male partners didn’t bother to be sure they finished, so if you never wanted to do this again - he’d pride himself internally forever on be the very first man to ever make you cum. 

You whined, back arching to the ceiling and hips dipping back into the bed. You didn’t want him to stop, so you weren’t sure why you were subconsciously trying to wiggle away. Your eyes had been closed for a few moments, and you felt a hand on your stomach, dancing fingers following it. You opened them to see him looking up at you, and his eyes flicker to his hand that was laying palm up on your belly before meeting your gaze again, in a silent ask for you to hold his hand. 

Without thinking, you did so, needing to be grounded in that moment. His thumb rubbed soothing strokes on the back of your hand as he built up the speed of his tongue, running it back and forth and up and down, flicking it, sucking on the sensitive nub until your brain turned to mush, and stars filled your vision. 

“Carmy Carmy- Oh shit- Yes” 

The grand finale only lasted about a minute or two, but by the end your thighs were shaking and you were gasping for breath. “Y’need to breathe, did you forget humans need oxygen to live?” he teased. You’d usually give him a light punch on the shoulder for that, but your whole body felt like warm jelly. 

“Shut up” you pant, looking down when you feel your clit twitching every few moments “I think you broke it its like.. Having a seizure or something” you said and you both burst into giggles. After a few moments of comfortable quiet you nudge him with your foot “Hey” he looks up at you “Its your turn now” you said and his brows raised

“Y-you don’t have t’do that, that was sex, so - congratulations we are both not virgins” he wiped his chin on the inside of his arm and sat up. You furrowed your brow

“No- I want to, I can make you cum, too ” you said, in your mind, it was a challenge - and when it came out of your mouth you realized how it sounded.

“Are you… asking me for permission to suck my dick?” he looked at you carefully. Shyly, you just nod. For whatever reason the nature of the room and this particular situation had the two of you acting out of traditional character roles, and he was the one being bold. “I want you to say it, then you can suck my dick” he said and stood up, unbuttoning his jeans and looking at you, brows raised expectantly as he waited for you to do as he asked.

Your throat suddenly felt dry, and you were starting to drip on that damn towel again. “Bear, I wanna suck your cock, Can I please?” you asked, tone innocent yet laced with a confident determination. His breath got caught in his throat, you swore his eyes could have fallen out. He didn’t know the word cock was apart of your very colorful vocabulary, he could have creamed his boxers with the way that the word rolled off of your tongue. 

“Sure” he said all too casual and tugged off his jeans, kicking them to the side. He laid down with you, like how he was while you were making out and you got on your knees tugging the waistband of his boxers until his cock came out and kissed his navel, the tip glistening with pre. 

“So-” you look at it, mouth watering at the sight. You had never done this, but you were sure that you knew one thing for sure, Carmy had a really pretty cock. You didn’t even realize you were staring until he said 

“S’not gonna suck itself, squish.” 

Oh, right, that was what you were doing. You grab it and he hissed “Fuckin’ hell- y’tryna rip it off? A little nicer, please” he chuckled a bit and you felt your cheeks heat, loosening your grip. 

“Sorry…” you said sheepishly, bending over and licking the tip of it, one slow drag from the back of your tongue to the tip of it, flicking your tongue over the slit your nose scrunching slightly at the new flavor. The action though, had Carm seeing stars and his toes curling.

“Hhhhnnn- oh my fucking god” he rasped. You figured that was a good thing, so you did it again “Squish I-” and again, “yes- fuck” and again, “Squish i-i’m gonna mmmmmffff” he whined, his cock twitching in your hand and leaking pre in a near continuous drip. You had no expirience, so you had no idea what this meant, or that he was trying to warn you. With 3 more slow sensual ball to tip licks, he was shooting cum all over your nose, upper lip, tongue, and chin. You squeak in surprise, sitting up and licking your lips. “Oh- hmmmmfuck- gimme a sec” he groaned, taking over for you and stroking himself, the remainder of his load shooting over his stomach. 

You watched in awe as he got himself off, back lightly arched and head fallen back, eyes closed as sexy pants and moans left his lips, along with soft “fuck - thank you, thank you” It was literally the hottest thing you had ever seen. He stopped after a moment, finding his breath and looking up at you, when he saw your milky white chin it both made his softening dick twitch and drew a chuckle from him. “When I keep saying im gonna do something and my dick is leaking like a broken sink it means open up er get out of the splash zone” he joked and grabbed his shirt, wiping your chin and neck. 

You laughed, laying back down and sighing contently. “Noted for next time” you said and he fixed his boxers, sitting up and stroking your calf. 

“There can be a next time? I mean…. I was hoping so that was really fun, felt really good” he said and you nod, smiling a bit 

“Sure, I mean, yeah… but it doesn’t mean we stop like- doing friend stuff, right?” you questioned. As much fun as you had, you could never give up something as treasured as your friendship for something as trivial as sex. 

“Oh, absolutely, who else is gonna wait w’me to get the new spiderman comics? And whos gonna feed you when your parents are out of town?” he teased and you rolled you eyes playfully, smiling and shaking your head. 

“Love you, dork” you bit your lip as he brought your other ankle to his lips. 

“Love y’too, Squish. Can I?” he looked down at your glistening core, before back at you. You bit your lip lightly, you weren’t sure if all men were this enthusiastic about eating pussy - but you were thankful that he was because your mind was still swimming from the last time and you had to experience it again. 

“Mmhmm” you spread your legs wider for him and he took your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he got to work. You had found quickly that when you tell him something feels good or he’s doing a good job that it really got him going. It was cute, truly, how he loved being praised, so you made sure to do it whenever you could get something out that wasn't a babbled, coherent mess since the pleasure he was providing was causing your brain to short circuit.

An hour and a half and 3 orgasms later, after about 10 minutes of trying to catch your breath and cool down since you were boiling from the blood coursing your system like an F1 racetrack, you sit up. “M’gonna go get cleaned up” you said, going to get up on wobbly legs.

“No! No, I got it lay down don’worry” he said and made his way to the bathroom. He came back with babywipes and a wet wash cloth, as well as a dry clean towel to wipe off with after. He helped you wipe up and knowing your bedroom by heart, he went over to your dresser and got you a fresh set of panties and a tshirt, as well as a pair of his sweatpants so you could both be comfortable. After you had both gotten dressed, he laid in your bed after bringing the towel downstairs to the wash for you both as well as your dirty clothes, and you cuddled into his chest as you turned on your little tv, playing the next episode of Glee and he hands you a granola bar after being sure you had a few sips of water to replenish.

“To no longer being virgins, hm?” he smiled a bit, holding his bar up in a silly idea of a toast. You tap yours to his with a grin

“To no longer being virgins”

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[roseghoul26]

Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul. 

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp. 

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself. 

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go. 

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul. 

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months. 

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial. 

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped. 

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done. 

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head. 

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart. 

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more. 

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.” 

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while. 

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them. 

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?���

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again. 

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him. 

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.” 

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this. 

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you. 

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond. 

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face. 

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night. 

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it. 

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating. 

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it. 

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything. 

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

#the ghoul x you #the ghoul x reader #fallout tv series #cooper howard #cooper howard x you #cooper howard x reader #fallout prime #fallout show #fallout

[thewertsearch]

EB: […] i'm not sure if i actually want to encourage you to go off fighting him… EB: because as strong as you probably are, it sounds like he is REALLY strong. EB: and even though you killed tons of people, i think i would still be pretty sad if you died. […] EB: so maybe you should just let us handle it? at least we won't fight him directly.

Well, if you actually manage to destroy the Sun, Jack will be significantly weaker, albeit still threatening.

If we can't convince Vriska to back off, maybe we can convince her to at least delay her attack. Once Jack's no longer a First Guardian, she'll be able to swoop in for a duel she could actually win.

Against Semi-Perfect Jack, I'd give her even odds - but what are the odds if she leaves now? Does she stand any chance against a Jack at the height of his power?

Well, maybe. I know I just joked about her getting annihilated, but Aradia did prove that God Tier powers work on him. Vriska's luck stealing is capable of some pretty astounding feats, but is it really enough to compensate for their enormous power differential? Luck can only take you so far, after all.

I'd give Perfect Jack a huge advantage in this fight, but a Vriska victory isn't completely out of the question, and I can see a few ways she could clinch it.

For example - what are the odds of Jack's Ring falling off?

Is it a million-to-one chance?

Is it a sixteen-million-to-one chance?

AG: You know how I said I couldn't rel8 to the attachment you have for your guardians? […] AG: Well, I guess that isn't completely true. AG: There are adult trolls who we can rel8 to, if we choose to, and if we are lucky enough to discover who they are. AG: 8ut it is not really in a familial sense, at least not socially speaking, the way you understand family. They are more like figures of legend, who are said to have more in common with us genetically than any other troll. 8ut we can never meet them of course. Only look up to them, and follow in their footsteps, 8ecause they died centuries ago.

Wait, so Mother Grubs are sitting on the same DNA for centuries?

I suppose that's why they're ancestors, rather than parents. It's a little strange that Mother Grubs hang onto the same genetic templates for so long, but this is alien biology we're talking about. Anything is possible.

Can the same genetic templates be reused multiple times, then? Can one single ancestor have multiple descendants, allowing trolls to have siblings as well as parents?

...hey, they might even have grandparents! If every troll has an ancestor, then your ancestors will have ancestors themselves, and they'd be your second-order ancestor, too.

AG: I am completely certain it is true, and I know who mine is! AG: I have 8een doing my 8est to honor her legacy for most of my life. AG: I even named my roleplaying character after her!

So this is why she’s so gung-ho about Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Lay it on us, Vriska!

don't think about baby vriska being forced to kill don't think about baby vriska being forced to kill don't think about baby vriska being for

AG: It was 8efore I ever started gaming, or rounding up other kids to feed my lusus. AG: I was nearing the age where I would 8e expected to feed her.

::::(

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #3472 #s128 #BAPY

[hericaslibrary]

𝐙𝐨𝐫𝐨 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭 (𝐒,𝐆,𝐓)

→ contents : afab.reader, fluff alphabet, sfw headcanons, slightly modern au

→ notes : life has been really difficult lately, but hopefully, I will release more content and try to finish some requests. You can also send me a request using this alphabet template (I only accept up to 3 letters and 3 characters) :)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Zoro's protectiveness is undeniable. If someone gives you grief or tries to get under your skin, he'll be there in a heartbeat, a silent guardian ready to intervene. Zoro trusts your strength and knows you're a badass who can handle yourself. In fact, he admires your independence and wouldn't dream of smothering it.

Zoro's protective instincts kick in depending on the situation. When you're facing an opponent, he'll keep you in his peripheral vision, confident in your skills but ready to jump in if needed, the last thing he wants is to interrupt your own fight. Now, if someone's disrespecting you with unwelcome advances, that's a different story. One of Zoro's trademark icy glares is guaranteed to send a shiver down their spine and make them reconsider their behavior.

He views protecting you as his primary duty, especially considering the powerful pirates you often encounter. Deep down, the idea of you needing to protect him probably stings a little – the great Roronoa Zoro needing help ? But that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate your fierceness. He can't help but crack a tiny smirk when you shut down other women flirting with him, and the way your eyes light up when you offer backup during a fight secretly thrills him. He may be your protector, but your strength and loyalty make him incredibly proud.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

“Gentle” wouldn't be the first word that pops into mind when describing Zoro. He might come across as gruff and straightforward, but beneath that exterior lies a surprising tenderness. It'll take a while, maybe even a looot of time, for him to fully express his warmer side (he is definitely a tsundere). But trust me, when those moments do arrive, they'll be all the more meaningful because of the effort he puts into showing his true feelings.

Zoro, bless his heart, has a fierce competitive streak, especially when it comes to Sanji. Sanji loves to boast about his romantic chivalry, and Zoro, well, Zoro wants to prove he can be just as thoughtful. The problem ? Romance isn't exactly his forte. Take, for example, the time he overheard Robin mentioning a new restaurant with your favorite dish on the menu. Determined to create a surprise date night, Zoro did some research and made a reservation…months in advance.

Here's how it played out :

“Zoro,” you say, peering out the window, “haven't we seen this street before? Maybe we're going the wrong way?”

Zoro puffs out his chest, trying to project an air of confident mystery. “Lost ? Absolutely not. I made reservations here, remember ? No way we're ending up at that greasy spoon near your place.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “Wait, you're taking me out? But—”

Zoro groans, realizing he's blown his surprise. He mutters a curse under his breath and slams his fist (gently) on the steering wheel. “Just trust me, it'll be…great.”

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Zoro might not be the king of grand gestures, but he makes up for it in practicality. Let's face it, remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries can be a struggle for him. That's why his phone likely explodes with reminders long before the actual day. While elaborate romantic evenings might not be his forte, he shows his love in the everyday. He takes on extra chores to ensure you have free time for yourself and your friends, or surprises you with a relaxing spa day. His way of saying “I love you” might be a little unconventional, but it's his genuine effort to make your life easier and show he cares.

dividers by @/cafekitsune

#one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #zoro x reader #zoro x reader fluff #roronoa zoro #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro x you #one piece #opla #opla zoro

[angellesword]

BAGGAGE | JJK (05)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, drama, OC cusses excessively so watch out

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x mom!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

← Previous Chapter (04) | Next Chapter (06) →

***

Jungkook was in a daze the whole time you vented your feelings, but he miraculously snapped back to reality upon seeing you retreating.

You were walking away from him. Again.

"Wait!" Jungkook's hand attached to a dextrose trickled down with blood when he forced himself to stand, agitatedly running toward you. His stomach wound had barely healed. It hurt to the point where he fell to his knees, forced to whimper as he touched his bleeding stomach.

The stitches came undone. One of the nurses saw Jungkook. She gasped and immediately attended to the sick man.

"Mr. Jeon! Why are you running! Your wounds are bleeding again!" The nurse scolded. You couldn't miss it with how loud her shriek was. You were left with no choice but to look back.

As expected, a torrent of abuse escaped your mouth. You were predictable like that. Your heart was like the ocean as it was big enough to accommodate millions of creatures; one more stinky fish like Jungkook would not kill you.

"You're such a stupid bastard! Get up!" You ran back to Jungkook, your heart bleeding profusely at the sight of your pathetic ex-best friend. Perhaps you were wrong. One stinky fish swimming back to your life was equivalent to millions of gallons of oil spills in your ocean heart.

Seeing Jungkook in pain hurt you worse.

"Mr. Jeon, please get up. We're going to treat your wounds." Another nurse arrived with a wheelchair, assisting Jungkook to sit on it. Jungkook followed, but he gripped the hem of your shirt without the intention of letting go.

"Mr. Jeon," the nurse subtly rolled her eyes. She wasn't paid enough for this, making you feel embarrassed on behalf of said annoying patient.

"I won't leave." You assured but it didn't do much to calm Jungkook. He refused to let you go--one thing his past self didn't have a problem doing before.

"I promise, okay?" You let out a breath. You never broke your promises. Jungkook was appeased, having a taste of your promises earlier when you claimed you wouldn't have gone back to Incheon hadn't been for your vow to your precious Jisoo-unnie.

"You'll be here after they treat me?" Jungkook's voice was barely above a whisper. You couldn't remember your ex-best friend using this tone before, like a kicked puppy begging for love. 

"I will be, but not with him." you glanced at Soobin, who still had his ears covered. The little boy's brattiness knew not to cross boundaries. At three, Soobin already knew you were not some force to be reckoned with. No one (not even Jungkook) could handle an angry you as your attitude turned to something akin to that Japanese legend, Arahabaki. It was terrifying.

"Alright," Jungkook relented.

The nurses silently thanked you before leaving. You merely nodded before turning to your son.

"You can uncover your ears now, sweetheart." You kissed your son's tiny hands. They were very soft.

"Mama not mad?"

Your heart softened. You couldn't help but kiss Soobin again, "Of course not, mon amour. How about this? I'll buy you ice cream later if you promise to be good to Uncle Min. Do we have a deal?"

Soobin popped a thumbs up. "Bin-bin miss you."

"I'll miss you too, baby. But I'll only be gone for a few hours. Have fun, alright?"

You made the necessary phone calls after that. A few minutes later, an Aurus Senat car appeared in front of the hospital.

The car's window rolled down.

"Hi, Mam!”

You would be lying if you said you were pleased to be face-to-face with your boyfriend's assistant, but it's not like you had a choice. Your boyfriend trusted this assistant, so you, by extension, learned to trust him, too. You just didn't like his overly enthusiastic smile.

"I'll be back later tonight. Please take care of my son." You personally placed Soobin on the baby seat, ignoring the assistant's piercing gaze.

"Will do, Mam. You know how much I adore Soobin~~."

You didn't honor that with a response. You said a few more words to your son before gently closing the door.

The assistant was still looking at you. You rolled your eyes, wanting nothing but to wipe that smirk off his face.

So you did, "Tell my boyfriend I said hi. I terribly miss him. Best if he gets ready for me tonight."

That seemed to work. The assistant lost his smirk at once. He let out a choked hum before rolling up his window and driving away.

You knew it was petty, but you felt victorious as you made your way inside the hospital. The nurses told you it would take time before you could talk to Jungkook again. You thanked them, then sat patiently on the waiting bench, pensive about how you should discuss things with Jungkook.

You regretted losing your cool earlier. You got quite the temper—a persistent problem you had had since you were young. You thought having Soobin by your side somehow lessened your anger issues (maybe it did), but Jungkook seemed to bring out the worst in you and hurt you.

Right. Jungkook had hurt you multiple times. 

Seven to Six years ago; 2016 - 2017:

It was an auspicious time for you. Your thesis adviser during college wrote you a recommendation letter that landed you a spot in a prestigious university for your Master's degree.

"Ugh, you're going to school again." Jungkook pretended to retch, but he was fooling no one. Despite his hatred toward the education system, he still got you a present before your classes officially started.

"This is something I enjoy doing, you know?" You responded as you opened your best friend's gift. 

It was a customized ballpen with your name on it. Others might find it ordinary-looking, but you knew that this cost Jungkook a fortune.

"Seriously...?" You couldn't help but stutter a breath. "You're giving me an 18k gold pen?"

"Seriously." Jungkook wrapped your hand around your waist, pulling you closer and gently nibbling your ear. He whispered seductively, "I'll give you everything this world considers best." 

Jungkook's gift to you was from a luxury brand called Montegrappa. He understood how big of a deal this could be for others but not for him. The ballpen's price did not break Jungkook's bank at all. It did not even leave a dent because while you busied yourself with your studies, Jungkook grew his money through business.

Bighit's market share shot through the roof. You were an investor there but only held a small percentage of ownership. You only invested in Bighit to appease Jungkook, though you couldn't lie that even your initial investment profited 5000% more.

Jungkook coaxed you to invest more, but you learned the importance of diversifying your investment in your finance and accounting courses. You maintained only your initial investment in Bighit while putting its interests on various things: bonds, stocks, mutual funds, and more. You basically hit the jackpot after profiting from the Bighit.

Jungkook was the only one who remained loyal to Jimin, refusing to invest anywhere else.

The Bighit had gotten lucky in the past two years because of Jungkook's machinations. You weren’t completely lying when you said Jungkook was licking asses. It took many fancy meetings with other businesspeople before he successfully landed deals with them. You knew Jungkook was at the top of his game because even Jisoo, your older sister, was drawn into investing in Bighit.

Jimin wasn't exactly idle, either. Truthfully, he's busier than Jungkook since he recruited and managed company workers. In short, Jungkook enchanted investors while Jimin oversaw their business operation.

People like you were the ones who had it easy. The only thing Bighit needed from you was your capital. Admittedly, you barely knew how the company operated. You didn't bother with this, knowing your share was less than 20%. Instead, you focused on your studies for the next two years, and before you knew it, you were already on stage to receive your diploma.

But your heart was unhappy; your shoulders slumped as you looked at the crowd. There were two seats reserved for your graduation guests. Jisoo smiled reservedly at you as she occupied the chair on the left, but the spot next to her was empty.

It only meant one thing:

Jungkook did not attend your graduation ceremony.

You deflated. You really couldn't have it all. Jisoo didn't attend during your college graduation as she was busy with work. Now that you were getting your Master's degree, Jungkook couldn't attend.

"Hey, congratulations! I'm looking forward to seeing your next achievement!" The two most important people in your life might not be around at the same time, but your former thesis adviser was always present. He supported you in all your academic pursuits and considered you like his own daughter.

"Thank you, Professor Choi." You forced a smile, sad because of Jungkook and a little uncomfortable because of your thesis adviser's meaningful smile. The ceremony just ended, yet you felt Mr. Choi was planning something for you again.

"No worries, dear. The academe appreciates a rare talent like you. Actually..."

And there it is.

You couldn't avoid listening to Mr. Choi talk. Apparently, your former adviser initiated sending your work to different reputable universities. He said he sent it in passing, but Verlaine, a French professor from Sorbonne University, reached out to him because he had read your work and was hoping to connect with you and offer you a scholarship at Sorbonne.

"I don't know, Mr. Choi," you bit the inside of your cheek, pensive. You had just finished your Master's degree and were planning to rest for a while before pursuing a doctoral degree.

You wanted to travel the world and drink expensive wine with Jungkook. (And maybe sleep with him, too) Admittedly, you missed the feeling of Jungkook's warm body on you; you missed the high you got only when Jungkook whispered sweet nothings to you —the only thing that made you feel like you could conquer the world.

It's been a while since you last had a proper conversation with your best friend. The past few months had been crazy as you prepared for your final feasibility defense. Meanwhile, Jungkook skirted around the topic of 'fixing' a clause on their contract agreement with their associates and subsidiaries.

You learned not to pry regarding Jungkook's proper business; it's your way of showing respect and trust. You couldn't bear to fight Jungkook like you did years ago. That's too messy, and cajoling Jungkook was not for the weak. It's too troublesome. 

But now that you thought about it, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to enquire about the business's standing. Something might have gone wrong for Jungkook to miss your special day. You didn't think Jungkook would mind, considering you deserved an acceptable reason and a sincere apology.

"Jisoo-unnie," your eyes flicked at Jisoo. "Aren't you an associate at Bighit? How's the business these days? Did Jungkook and Jimin hold a meeting?"

Jisoo couldn't meet your gaze, but she forced out an answer. "There's been some lower management issues, but Jungkook-ah told me he's handling it well. Don't worry, alright? You know Jungkook. He'll get around it somehow." Jisoo offered a champagne glass to you, "Here, drink. We should celebrate and discuss your plans to study in France."

Your eyelids fluttered shut, smiling uptight. "I've had enough of this topic, Jisoo-unnie. Actually..." You looked around; the graduation party was far from ending. You were rapidly getting used to ditching your own celebration. "I want to meet up with Jungkook. Can you entertain the guests for me?"

Jisoo seemed to disapprove, but you looked too pitiful. You were many things; you were loud and couldn't pass two minutes without insulting anyone, a defense mechanism you learned when young. But Jisoo knew precisely what was under your edgy mask and sharp tongue.

You loved hard, and it happened that you loved Jungkook the most.

"I'll let you go," Jisoo tapped your back. "Call me, alright?"

"Thanks, Jisoo-unnie."

And that was how you found yourself in front of Jungkook's apartment. You even brought an unopened bottle of champagne Jisoo had gifted you which you couldn't drink as the police sirens assaulted your ear.

"What the f..." You gulped down the profanities in the presence of the law enforcers. It wouldn't do you or Jungkook well if you caused trouble. You blinked and rephrased your question, calmly asking the female officer why they were bringing boxes out of Jungkook's high-end apartment and where Jungkook was.

"We have a search warrant, Miss." The officer explained nonchalantly, probably not to worry a civilian like you. "We can't discuss the criminal case for now, but I assure you that Mr. Jeon is not in trouble. He is merely invited to the police station for a statement."

"How the fuck is that supposed to assure me?" Your temper flared up at once. The officer did not flinch and refused to explain further.

Agitation overtook your senses as you cursed yourself for not knowing anything law-related. You debated calling your lawyer but decided against it because Jungkook was not some fragile little boy. If anything, Jungkook was probably ten steps ahead of these officers. Perhaps he orchestrated this whole thing.

You looked around, too. Jungkook lived in a high-security place. No one here would dare blab the situation to the public. The neighbors kept their doors tightly shut, refusing to associate themselves with the investigation.

You did everything to reassure yourself and keep your sanity. You left the officers in favor of driving to the station, realizing you didn't need to call your lawyer or anyone else; you only needed to see Jungkook.

To your luck, you immediately spotted Jungkook outside the station, laidback and grinning widely while talking to two police officers.

"Jungkook." You never claimed to be a patient woman. You went straight to Jungkook and ignored the officers.

It was rare to see a surprise Jungkook, too. He arched his brow, mouth slightly parted as he took in your slackened jaw. "What are you doing here? Aren't you with Jisoo-noona?"

You felt yourself flinch. Since when did Jungkook start sounding and acting like your presence was a big burden?

"You didn't attend my graduation," you said resentfully.

Jungkook merely looked at you before switching his gaze to the officers; his smile returned as he bid them goodbye. After that, Jungkook simply walked away, ignoring you, who stood there dumbfounded.

This bastard—!?

"Jungkook, you shit!" You ran after your best friend and soon caught up with him.

Jungkook still didn't stop, so you had no choice but to block his way.

"What do you want?" Jungkook wasn't his usual goofy self. In fact, his voice was uncharacteristically cold.

You felt your heart leaping to your throat, your boldness cowering at the presence of a reserved Jungkook. You were none the wiser but were able to change tactics at the last minute.

You grasped his wrist, "What happened to you? Are you in trouble? Can...can I help you?"

Jungkook was taken aback, obviously not used to you being soft-spoken.

"It's nothing." Jungkook used his free hand to caress your cheek. They were cold. You must have ran just to see him. "Nothing I can't handle. Don't worry, your two brain cells can't understand it even if I try to explain it to—"

"I got my Master's degree today, you fucking bastard!" You were about to hit your best friend, which Jungkook immediately dodged. He had memorized everything about you, from your insults to your breathing to your movements—

"You did." Jungkook was an enigma, and gone was the cold haze enveloping him. He pulled you close to him and hugged you tightly.

—and even the rhythm of your heartbeat. 

"Congratulations on getting your Master's degree, sweetheart." He kissed the top of your head.

You stuttered a breath and punched Jungkook's chest. "You're so annoying. I don't understand you at all."

Jungkook chuckled lightly, drawing circles on the small of your back, and then he said:

"You're not supposed to. I love you; that's all you need to know."

It was, in fact, not all you needed to know. Days passed after your graduation, and Jungkook's business remained a mystery to you. You couldn't reach your best friend at all, so you reluctantly reached out to Park Jimin. Like Jungkook, Jimin was also unreachable.

"What the fuck is happening?" You cussed, feeling your blood running hot. You were pissed and were kept in the dark. Jungkook hadn't gone this long without contacting you. It was already bad enough when Jungkook acted all hot and cold during your graduation day; Jungkook even refused to cuddle with you that night, opting to just talk to you in your living room. When you woke up the next day, Jungkook was already gone. You received no news about him since then.

You flopped down the couch, remembering Professor Choi's advice, "You're too hotheaded, dear. It will one day be your downfall. Why don't you calm down before opening that mouth of yours? Are you familiar with the 4-7-8 breathing technique?"

It had gotten so bad back then. You were defending your research paper before the panelist when you felt your temper flaring up. Luckily, Professor Choi was there to call for a short break and pacify you.

Looking back, Professor Choi's advice was of great help to you. You could apply it now, so after settling on the couch, you breathed in and distracted yourself by watching the news.

Wrong move.

The headline sent you into a spiral, "Breaking News: Bighit, a start-up and a unicorn company, turns out to be the second Enron of this generation."

You couldn't breathe, yet you forced yourself to understand what was happening. If you remembered the lectures in your MBA courses correctly, then Bighit was compared to a unicorn because of its rare success in the business world (much like a mythical unicorn), with Bighit being valued at one billion dollars or more in just a few years of operation. 

It was a good thing, but the headline did not stop with just that. Bighit was linked to Enron, too, a bankrupt company that committed fraud and ruined countless lives.

How could Jungkook's company be linked to something diabolical?

You refused to believe the news; regrettably, all evidence stated otherwise. You checked the stock price per share of Bighit, and your jaw dropped, seeing how much it had fallen. The news was cut short, though a few minutes later, it televised Park Jimin walking out of the police station. Your lips quivered while watching Jungkook's beloved hyung look like a pale ghost; his eyes barely opened because of how flashy the camera flashes were.

You didn't know where to go or who to call anymore. You couldn't barge into the police station like you did days ago. The place was crawling with reporters, and for once, you made use of your brain, afraid that your fragile temper would burst and make the situation worse.

For a while, all you could do was wait.

***

It was established before that you had the patience of a three-year-old. You couldn't sit still, so you did the only way you could think of to talk to Jungkook: you bought a large amount of Bighit's share over the counter. Ango Sakaguchi, the previous stockholder from whom you brought your shares, did not hesitate to sell his shares. Although Ango looked at you as if you were crazy. Bighit was at risk of getting delisted from major stock exchanges; the value of its market per share was basically at the basement of a rock bottom.

But you did not care. Being a major stockholder at Bighit guaranteed you a seat in the company's board meeting. Truth be told, you finally saw Jungkook, Jimin, and even your Jisoo-unnie during the emergency meeting.

"Dear, what are you doing here?" Jisoo was surprised to see you, but you merely looked at Jisoo, whom you also couldn't contact these past few days.

"My client isn't participating in this meeting as a board member but simply as a shareholder who values her contribution to the company." You had come prepared by bringing your lawyer and letting him speak on your behalf. You might not know a thing or two about the law, but you didn't get your MBA degree for a show. You knew the threats that came from buying Ango Sakaguchi's shares.

Unlike Jimin and Jungkook, you and Jisoo were merely stockholders who funded the business. You did not oversee the operations of Bighit, so now that the company was in trouble, the only problem for you and your sibling was the threat of not getting your investment back.

You and Jisoo were invited to today's meeting to discuss the order of priority in the payment of the company's liabilities as well as its threat to be delisted by the Security and Exchange Commission. (SEC)

The meeting commenced. Your focus was not on the speaker but on Jungkook. The latter did not bother to shoot you a glance; his attention focused solely on the meeting and Jimin.

You clenched your fists. This was not the time to be jealous, but the green-eyed monster had long engulfed you. 

"The SEC gave us 90 days to pay our legal obligations. First to the taxes we owed, then the unpaid wages and other benefits of our employees, followed by our outside debtors, and lastly, our shareholders." Jimin announced. He also filled in the board members and others about their pending criminal case.

You slouched on your swivel chair, listening intently to your lawyer, who was whispering some legalities to your ear. Your eyes were shooting holes at Jungkook, though.

You tilted your head and raised your hand.

"Yes?" Jimin turned to you.

"I am abandoning my shares."

Now, that caught Jungkook's attention. Your best friend looked you dead in the eyes, his jaw ticking, but he refused to speak.

Jimin sighed, "You owned a significant number of shares in Bighit. Are you sure you want to forfeit your rights to any remaining assets?"

You did not respond at first and just twirled in your hand the golden pen Jungkook gifted you two years ago. Your lawyer spoke on your behalf, "My client does not care about the money. She wants her shares to be liquidated and used to pay the company's obligations. We humbly implore you to prepare an agreement to honor my client's request."

Jimin was about to agree, but Jungkook beat him to it.

"Bullshit." 

The curse reverberated through the meeting room. If this was an ordinary day, you would surely respond with twice or thrice Jungkook's cuss, but you were too hurt by Jungkook's silence these past few days that you chose to shut up.

"Dear, have you thought about this?" Jisoo couldn't help but interfere, too.

Your lawyer cleared his throat and answered for you again, "The matter has been discussed thoroughly by my client and me. No one here needs to worry."

Jimin felt the tension's thickness, so he tried to cut through it, "Very well. This is highly appreciated. Atsushi, please draft the agreement with Jisoo’s sister now."

The meeting continued for two more hours before Jimin adjourned it. Everyone started to leave, and you told your lawyer to be on your way, too.

"See you soon, Mam." The lawyer nodded and left.

You remained seated in the swivel chair, lightly turning as you watched people leave until Jungkook was the only one left.

Jungkook stood up and made his way to the door, but you pretended to be unconcerned. Your heart was in your throat, though.

But your trepidation didn't last long when you heard the lock click in place.

You exhaled and twirled your chair to face Jungkook, who was leaning on the door with his arms crossed.

"So what now, shithead?" Your silence was only reserved during the meeting. Now that you were alone with Jungkook, you couldn't help but bark.

The corner of Jungkook's mouth ticked. "Classic you. Are you that desperate to talk to me that you wasted millions so I can throw you a bone?"

You weren’t wearing your choker, but you felt as though something was squeezing your neck. You found it hard to breathe.

"You think you can agitate me with your words? I've been too hotheaded, haven't I?" You stood up, slowly but heavily trudging toward your best friend. "Well, guess what, shitty Jungkook."

It was instantaneous. You grabbed Jungkook's shirt collar and slammed him on the wall. Jungkook's eyes rolled at the back of his head because of how hard you had pushed him.

"You can tease me all you want, but between you and I, you know who fucked up, and it isn't me."

Something flashed across Jungkook's face. If you were to name it, it would probably be pain, but you couldn't be sure as it was gone in the blink of an eye.

Jungkook smirked.

"Why? Because I didn't run to you crying about how I fucked up? You would want that, wouldn't you?" Jungkook laughed mirthlessly. "Over my dead body."

You were wrong. It wasn't pain that flashed on Jungkook's face. It was anger. After all these years, you realize that Jungkook had not fully forgiven you for saying he had made the wrong decision of venturing with Jimin.

Suddenly, you lost your will to fight Jungkook because this wasn't just about Jungkook ghosting you. It was about Jungkook building his walls against you.

You let go of your best friend at once, and then you took a step backward, defeated.

But Jungkook wasn't done with his attack. Years of frustration had bubbled up, and now, it exploded.

Jungkook's Adam's apple bobbed. It looked as if it took everything in him to say what he needed to say, but it still didn't prepare you for the pain that would shoot your heart and soul.

"I slept with Jisoo-noona."

One sentence, five words.

You and Jungkook had been friends since you were five. You had said hurtful words to each other before—all of which you didn't mind much. How could you, when you knew your words hurt Jungkook more?

But this…this was different. Nothing could ever top this betrayal.

"Y-You…" You choked back a sob. Fury and hurt crawled from your feet to your neck; they were like a knife blinding your eyes with one swift cut.

The tears obscured your vision. You couldn't (didn't want) to see Jungkook's expression.

You cast your gaze on the floor, watching your tears stain the cold tiles.

The silence was suffocating. Neither of you could take it anymore.

"You know," so you shattered it. "I might be a cussing machine, but I'm not as cruel as you, Jungkook."

You balled your hands into fists, forcing yourself to meet Jungkook's gaze. Just this once. You wanted to look at Jungkook and let him see just how much he had hurt you.

"I don't know shit about your company, but I know one thing." You smiled sadly, "I know I was wrong to believe you love me."

Once, someone told you, 'I love you; that's all you need to know.' Then, he proceeded to break your heart after.

"You—"

"But if you insist that you love me, then…" You cut him off. "Take it away because I don't want it. I've got no use for your disgusting love."

With that, you left, ignoring all calls from Jungkook and your Jisoo-unnie. You only answered one text, and it went like this:

To: Paul Verlaine I accept the scholarship. When can I leave for France? ***

A/N: Hi guys, apologies if there are so many boring jargon, i tried to minimize it as much as i could, but they’re mostly imperative for the story to progress, so i couldn’t fully eradicate it. This chapter is a bit funny to me because honestly, I am so OC who couldn't forget lectures I've learned during college 😆 I've written SO MANY academic papers because of that company's scandal.

anyway, i’ve mentioned before that this fic is originally a bsd fanfic, so the oc is patterned to chuuya nakahara, please stop sending me anon message complaining that oc is cussing too much and she overdoes it because I know. she is supposed to be that way and trust me when I say it is also imperative for the plot. you will come to realize that in the following chapter, but if it really annoys you, please do yourself a favor and stop reading this fic. there are so many fics out there which are much more well-written and would not annoy you. read that instead. thank you ~~

as usual, comments are highly valued! i’ll edit this chapter later, my eyes are hurting now huhu

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#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkoooook #jungkook x oc #park jimim #bts fic #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook best friends to lovers #best friends #daddy jungkook

[emilybahu]

What I want to see with Eddie/Buddie Going into Season 8

I'm really excited to see what they do with Eddie this coming season after how season 7 ended for him.

I feel like it may take a few episodes of us watching Eddie pull away from everyone as his mental state over this whole situation he got himself in just keeps getting worse until someone finally knocks some sense into him and tells him he needs to get help. Maybe the firefam even stages an intervention of sorts, telling him that they're all worried about him and that he needs to get help. I could see Buck trying his absolute best to help Eddie, to no avail. Then Hen just shows up at his house one day and straight up tells him if he doesn't work on himself, then how could he expect to repair his relationship with Chris.

I want to see a whole episode, maybe two, dedicated to Eddie's healing. I want to see him going to therapy. I need to see him learning to love himself and how to live for himself, not only for Chris. I need to see Eddie uncover the parts of himself that he's unconsciously buried through the years and rediscover things he used to enjoy. I need to see Eddie opening up to everyone and them all being proud of him and happy to see him genuinely smile. I want to see Eddie having an adult conversation with Chris about what happened and how nothing like it would ever happen again. And I want to see Eddie and Chris working on repairing their relationship and Buck hanging out with both of them.

And who knows, maybe Eddie will have a sexuality crisis, maybe he won't, maybe Buddie will happen, maybe it won't. All I know is what both Oliver and Ryan have said, which is that it has to feel right for the characters and their respective stories. Buck and Eddie have such a beautiful friendship as is, so furthering their relationship has to be done carefully. Now, I know that for a lot of us, it feels like we've been waiting long enough for this to happen, but we also have to think about the fact that the characters don't see their relationship like that. Like in a lot of the fanfics, they might both realize that they have romantic feelings for each other and be too afraid of ruining their cherished friendship to share them with one another. Or maybe they haven't realized those feelings yet, and even when they do, they'll need time to process them.

On Eddie's side, it will likely take him a while to come to terms with not being straight, and I'd like to see him putting the pieces together in his brain and talking to his therapist about self-acceptance. Apart from that, I'd like to see his dynamics with another partner (perhaps another man) before Buddie happens, if Buddie happens. I also think that Eddie figuring out he's not straight will be how he realizes the love he feels for Buck is more than one would usually feel for a friend. Maybe he'll try to give his all to whatever relationship he's in at the time, but he'll quickly realize that although he was genuinely happy with the other person, his heart just isn't in it anymore.

On Buck's side of the coin, I really hope that Tommy sticks around long enough for us to get to know his character more. I know a lot of people don't want to hear that, but as long as Buck is happy with Tommy, I'm happy with Tommy. And if they break up, I want them to still be friends. Anyway, back to the Buddie of it all...

I think Eddie will come out to the 118, and of course, everyone will be supportive as he explains that it took him months to finally be comfortable enough to tell them. And whether or not he tells them all at the same time or comes out to Buck first, I KNOW that Buck won't even hesitate to give Eddie the biggest hug! Buck starts realizing his deeper feelings when he sees Eddie with another man for the first time. Also, whether or not they're both single, mutual pining will most definitely ensue.

To me, there are only a couple ways that would feel right for a Buck and Eddie's feelings reveal (of course, in both situations, they're both single, no more cheating!):

The first one is high drama, of course, something I think a lot of people want after hearing that when Eddie got shot back at the end of season 4, there was supposed to be a feelings reveal. Hence, Eddie puts Buck in his will as Christoper's caretaker if he were to die. (Speaking of that, I really hope that we also get a serious conversation about the will in season 8). Anyways, I think it would be more interesting if, rather than only one of them getting into another near-death or serious injury situation, it was both of them together. Like they get trapped together in a burning building, one or both of them get hurt, and all they can do is wait for the team to come find them. They're holding each other, scared that they won't make it out, and they confess their feelings for one another. They hold each other even tighter after that, maybe even share a kiss.

Another scenario that I wouldn't mind seeing is a lot less dramatic. It would be sweet and soft and full of nervous energy. I think that I'd almost want it to mirror when Buck came out to Eddie, but this time, they're at Eddie's house. Chris isn't there. Buck and Eddie are just hanging out together. They just ate, and they're either sitting at the table or leaning against the counter, standing so close that their shoulders are brushing. It's a quiet moment, a lull in whatever conversation they are having, and they just look at each other fondly. Eddie quietly confesses his feelings, telling Buck that it's ok if he doesn't feel the same and that, regardless, he still needs Buck in his life. Buck is shocked, but doesn't let himself freeze, telling Eddie that he feels the same, and the scene ends with Buck and Eddie sharing a sweet kiss.

And now I'm going to make these scenarios into fanfics...

God, as much as I want Buck and Tommy to be happy as long as possible, I just NEED Buddie to happen! I love these guys't wait to see what happens in their relationship next. If nothing romantic happens between them in season 8, they need to at least have something happen that deepens and solidifies their friendship even further. Something that reminds Buck and Eddie of the place they have in each other's lives and how important they are to each other.

Thank you for reading my rant! I really do hope that people read this all the way through. Took a good amount of time to get all my thoughts out, so I hope people enjoy what I had to say! 😁

#911 abc #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 thoughts #911 speculation

[yanderes-galore]

Then Yuji with your prompts 3,8, and 29

Sure, didn't have many plot ideas so here's Analog AU! Yuji pulling a KinitoPet since I wanted to explore that more. Sorry it came out a bit short ^^;

Analog AU Here!

Yandere! Yuji Itadori Prompts 3, 8, 29

(Analog AU)

"You'll love me, even if we have to sit and wait for it to happen."

"I could look into those eyes forever...."

"I want to be this close... forever...."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Isolation, Yuji is not technically Yuji, Brainwashing/Mind control implied, Possessive behavior, Jealousy, Forced affection, Forced relationship.

"Isn't it nice when everything is perfect?"

Your new life was difficult to get used to. In fact, you have no idea how long you've been imprisoned here. Time could very well work differently here.

All you recall is buying that strange DVD... meeting Yuji... and now you're here in a world resembling the show you loved so dearly.

At least you still managed to keep lucid enough to know this isn't your home. The entity puppeteering this realm could try their hardest to adapt you to this place... but you know better. This is not home.

This will never be home.

Yuji never gave up on making you feel like you belong in his realm. He made you a Jujutsu Sorcerer, he uses other characters to give you friends, he even took the identity of the main character you adore so much! Yuji yearns to please.

So why do you ignore him?

This place never fails to feel... uncanny? You know none of this is real. The other characters don't seem sentient and you can't seem to get Yuji's faint red glow in his eyes out of your head.

You and Yuji are the only people seemingly real in this world. Even if you speak to other characters, Yuji's always close by to watch you. You aren't sure what he is... but he seems awfully determined to make this world a paradise for you.

"Your world is so full of stress..." Yuji would say, looking disappointed. "But here? Here anything can happen. You can be happy... I can make you happy."

Yuji acts like a god in this realm. A god who's using your favorite show to gain your approval. However... you haven't allowed yourself to give in.

You can't let your guard down around those glowing eyes....

"The apartment looks close enough to your old home, yes?" Yuji asks you excitedly, rearranging furniture with ease. You blankly watch him, the familiarity only making you wish for home more. Were you technically dead?

"I just hope you know I do this because I care..." Yuji whispers, sitting on the bed to look at you. "It was so upsetting to see you so bored and stressed after work before. But... this is fun, isn't it?"

Ah, yes... was playing pretend with some entity fun? Was this meant to be more relaxing? Why does he bother acting like he cares?

"Why won't you let me out?" You ask, Yuji looking at you confused.

"Let you out...?" He echoes, seeming hurt. "That isn't how things are supposed to go...!"

"I never wanted to be here!" You plead. "Nothing's real... It's all fake..."

"I'll work on it more for you!" Yuji smiles, his eyes gleaming red again. "Anything for you, right...?"

"What do you even want from me!?" You plead to Yuji, the entity watching you with a frown.

"You... You don't understand...?" Yuji whispers, concerned about your confusion. "Seriously?"

Your adrenaline creeps in when Yuji stands up, stepping closer. There's no point running. He always knows where you are....

"I made this world for you, sweetheart... for us!" Yuji whispers, a smile on his face. "I did it because I love you...!"

Your breath hitches when Yuji leans closer, uncanny eyes staring into your own. The effect is almost... entrancing. You go to look away, to fight him more on his words...

Yet you can't.

"I could look into those eyes forever...." Yuji whispers, holding your face. He grins, gaze flicking from your eyes to your lips. You want to tell him he doesn't know what love is...

But he cuts you off.

"You see... if you accept this new world I made for you... we can have more moments like this..." Yuji whispers, teasingly kissing your lips as you gaze into his eyes. Why can't you look away?

"I love you so much... I was so tired of just watching you through that damn screen..." Yuji murmurs breathlessly. His grip tightens, gaze becoming a glare for a moment. "I didn't want to share you with anyone... but now..."

Yuji pulls you into a tight embrace. His hold is crushing, possessive. That manages to snap you out of your trance a little bit, just enough to push against his chest and struggle.

"I want to be this close... forever...." Yuji whispers with a grin, eyes holding a lovesick gaze towards you. He leans in to kiss you again, only for you to harshly shove him back. His expression then becomes unamused before he perks back up again with a smile.

"Oh, baby... am I coming off too strong?" Yuji frowns, feigning guilt. "I'm sorry... I forgot I need to be patient with you. I'm just getting a bit too... excited due to you being here now...!"

Yuji steps back, gaze softening with an uncanny glow to it. He gives you space before continuing to redecorate. He's getting too eager.

"That's okay, you may not understand it now but..." Yuji whispers, looking at the room before his eyes trail back to you. You freeze when you see them flash an entrancing red again. "You'll love me, even if we have to sit and wait for it to happen."

With that, Yuji continues rearranging your new home. An uneasy feeling swirls in your gut at the experience. You'd never know what Yuji is... or his true intentions.

But as your fictional life treks on, your fears slowly don't matter anymore...

Why bother fighting him when there's nowhere to go now? Maybe you should just be loved...?

After all... it's just you and Yuji... together forever in a world made for you.

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere self aware au #yandere analog au #yandere jjk analog au #yandere yuji #yandere itadori yuji

[erzva]

big fan of pussy drunk ! luffy..

. . .

its canon to me idk

like if your brain doesn’t register this as canon or something that’s very in character for luffy you’re just wrong

although i do also definitely see him as aroace or think he could be aroace

but if i were to strictly hc him as aroace it wouldn’t really be any fun for me, a luffy lover.

so i also see him as someone who loves sex. not in a weird way. he just loves you and making you feel good. and feeling good himself. + it’s so fun. everyone knows luffy is weak to things that are fun. idk i just think he would enjoy sex a lot with the person he loves.

or i can honestly also see him being aromantic but pansexual. and just liking sex as an activity. he’s a very active kid so, again, i think he would enjoy sex. bc sex can be fun and intimate and enjoyable

like there’s no way he wouldn’t wanna try it. he loves trying new things. you’re telling me he wouldn’t go feral after his first time with you? you opened his mind to something new and very fun

he’ll be asking for sex all the time now.

this man is mischievous and annoying. he does whatever he sets his mind to

so there’s not really telling him no.

ofc he won’t force you

but he’s exceptionally skilled at getting people to do whatever he wants.

he’ll make you come around sooner or later

because once he’s set on wanting to bury his cock into your warm cunt, he won’t stop until he gets to do it

he will start whining and begging if you don’t give him what he wants right away

especially if you give a lame excuse like “the others will hear” or “what if someone walks in”. if you pull any of tha, he knows he can be annoying and pushy.

but he also knows when you’re serious about your ‘excuses’ or “no’s” so he’d just drop it and opt for the second best thing in the world after meat: you. touching you, hugging you, clinging to you.

bc even if he can’t have sex with you, which is always so much fun and feels good- he doesn’t mind because it’s not important to him. being with you is enough

and honestly you were only truly against having sex very rarely. like when you were feeling unwell or it was an unfitting moment or whatnot. but you liked having him work for it. because you know that eventually he’ll start being whiny and desperate. oh and how you loved desperate luffy. begging with his big dark chocolate brown eyes.. and whining into your ear while rubbing himself on you, trying to hide what’s going on by disguising it as a hug so it doesn’t look too suspicious to your poor crewmates who unfortunately already know what he’s doing anyway..

until you finally give in and give him what he wants only for him to give you the biggest most genuine sunshine smile ever. his eyes widening at you giving him the go. it’s probably what you love most about him. his smile and how his entire face lights up..

however when it’s just the two of you in the captains chambers his expression turns dark and serious very fast. usually with a hint of mischief but not always. he can be very serious in moments like this too. you made him wait long enough. no time for silliness

there’s two types of pussydrunk ! luffy

he goes feral and it’s messy, chaotic and desperate. fast and rough, anything to get the two of you to reach climax.

slow loving sensual passionate sex. the kind of sex that really shows how much you love one another. the kind everyone dreams about. it feels good and it’s emotional

whenever he just wants to have fun and feel good, he’ll opt for the first version. the kissing would be hungry, passionate and desperate. he’ll be kissing and sucking on your neck and groping you harshly to get you wet. he’s impatient and just wants to cum deep inside of you. but not before he gets to lap at your delicious cunt. first things first. luffy never starts penetration without getting you nice and wet with his tongue beforehand.

but when he’s feeling sappy and emotional and loving the sex would be very sensual. but not necessarily slow. you still wanna cum after all. but the foreplay would be a lot more soft and gentle and he would take his time with you. kissing you everywhere thoroughly and massaging your flesh.

he doesnt only get pussydrunk for his cock inside your cunt though

he also gets pussy drunk when eating you out

oftentimes wanting to go more than one round

usually sex with him includes making out heavily, him eating your cunt, penetration / you grinding on him / you giving him a hand or blowjob- and then him eating you out again.

he is a MUNCH. he’s gonna be all up in your pussy

i mean he loves eating and never cared about what he looks like while eating (which is usually very chaotic and dirty) so you bet he’s gonna be just as messy when it comes to you and your cunt

he buries his face so deep in your pussy it’s overstimulating sometimes because he doesn’t stop once you cum. he stops when he wants to stop

sex isn’t sex without him getting a taste of you

and he oftentimes only wants to eat your pussy

keyword being “eat” bc it really does feel like he’s eating you alive (in the best most fulfilling way possible)

craziest head game in the entire op universe

he eats you out before going to sleep a lot. ‘helps him sleep better’ he claims

but he also wants to eat you out when he wakes up

he’s still groggy and tired and not really awake at all so he asks you to let him burry his face in your sweet warm cunt so he can ‘have a good day’ and also because it ‘helps him become more awake’

sure..

maybe you really do help him that way.. or maybe they’re mostly cheap excuses

and usually him being pussydrunk on eating you out leads to him wanting to burry his cock inside of you

because licking and tasting you is just so arousing. it makes him so hard and needy, always rutting his hips into the mattress while his tongue’s all over you. you taste like nothing he’s ever tasted before and he can’t get enough of it. he loves smelling and tasting your pussy. it makes him desperate, whiny and feral

you are never left feeling unsatisfied with luffy as your man

. . .

#. op works #. luffy #. luffy hc #. luffy smut #luffy headcanons #monkey d. luffy smut #luffy x reader #luffy smut #luffy x female reader #luffy x you #monkey d. luffy x reader #x reader

[efingcod]

Lunch Break pt3

ao3

one | two | three

Word Count: 889

Frank x Mila, Frank Woods x oc, Frank Woods fem! American Bell

Still probably could be a brown eyed lady as long as you don't mind having the nickname "Vic."

I know I said this would be three parts. It is not. If you’re new here never trust when I say how long a story is going to be. It’s always longer. The characters really run the show here I just type.

She works here.

Frank exited the briefing room.

She works here and she knows he works here, too.

She had barely given him a second glance when he walked in. Just regarded him the same as everyone else. And even now when she pushed past him to get to whatever she had scheduled next. He was just another body in the hall to her.

A hand landed on his shoulder. Alex.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you so quiet in a briefing before.”

He chuckled in response.

But Alex was already following his gaze.

“Who knew those dorks would have such a good-looking gal in their midst huh?” He nudged his friend.

Frank hadn’t told Alex about the encounter in the park. He knew his friend would jump on it. Frank hadn’t told Alex much about the women he was with. Not since Alex got married and settled into his life. He was always trying to encourage Frank to do the same lately.

Fat chance.

He ran his hand through his dark hair.

“Come on, let’s get something to eat,” Alex said shaking Frank from his thoughts.

They entered the cafeteria. He quickly scanned the room, but she wasn’t there. Interesting that she chose to be alone with her book rather than eating here. He could understand that.

Frank glanced at Alex. He was staring at the salad bar like he didn’t know what to make of it. Then he passed it by, opting for the egg salad sandwich. The way Frank heard it Em was trying to get him to eat more greens. In Alex’s mind this could be a kind of compromise. If it has salad in the name, it was essentially the same thing. Frank was sure Em wouldn’t buy it. But he also knew she was just looking out for him. Something about Alex’s heart. Frank and Em might have had their differences, but they could agree on one thing. They wanted Alex to stick around for a long time.

“How’s Em?” He asked as he picked up his own sandwich.

Alex gave him a look.

“You know, she misses the job. But nothing’s going to tear her away from David, either,” He chuckled and shook his head. “So you know, she’s happy.”

He paid the cashier and waited for Frank.

“Kind of surprised you’re eating here.”

Frank waved his hand dismissively.

“Park got old.”

“Not enough eye candy-”

“Can it, will ya?”

“Touchy. Jogger throw her water bottle at you?”

“Nah, I’m not a creep like you.”

Alex laughed.

As they took their seats the light outside dimmed. The day grew dark and it started to rain. Good thing he wasn’t going to the park any more.

He wondered if she got herself caught in the rain.

After lunch he and Alex separated. He decided to take the back stairs. They were usually empty, and it was easy to grab a quiet smoke there. He pushed past the double doors leading to the stairs. Then he pulled out his lighter and leaned against the window across from the stairs as he lit his cigarette. Frank flicked his eyes up and there she was- Vic. That was her name. Or at least what Hudson had called her. She was sitting on the stairs. Sandwich in hand and yet another fat book balanced on her lap. He jokingly thought to himself that she must be eating them with how quickly she seemed to get through them.

Vic didn’t look up, so he turned his back to her and looked out the window at the rain. He propped open the window to blow his smoke out. People smoked freely in the building of course, but Frank preferred to not stand in a cloud of it if he didn’t have to. And he liked the fresh air from the window. He hated being cooped up in this building. He wasn’t meant for this office shit. Even though he had just gotten back he was already wishing to be sent off somewhere. In the field, the only thing he missed was his bike. More than once he had considered taking a long road trip, alone of course.

“Guess I was wrong,” He heard her say. For a moment Frank had forgotten someone else was there.

“’Bout what?” He asked the open window.

“I thought you were just another guy bullshitting me about being away for work.”

“Yeah, well 9 times out of 10 you’d probably be right.”

“So you’re the 10.”

He chuckled, “Don’t know about that.”

“Got another one of those?” She asked. He put his pack and lighter on the windowsill and he heard her descend the stairs to stand next to him.

“Thanks. Left mine upstairs,” She said as she placed the cigarette between her lips and lit it.

She didn’t seem keen on making conversation and he was never particularly fond of it anyway. And it’s not like he was going to ask her for her number, now. Then the creeps wouldn’t just be isolated to the park, she’d find herself working with one too.

“All right, well,” She said, pausing, as she stabbed her cigarette out in the receptacle on the wall. “Thanks. See you around.”

And before he could say anything else she was back up the stairs gathering her book and her remaining lunch. Then without a glance back she headed upstairs.

“See ya,” He said quietly as he shut the window.

tagging: @deadbranch, @alypink, @revnah1406, @mango-parfait, @imagoddamnonionmason, @sagitamds, @adlerboi, @kithauk, @elyseenmiel, @guigz1-coldwar, @frankwoods, @writeforfandoms, @sparklight1242, @eccentrcks, @walder-138, @voltac, @iamcautiouslyoptimistic, @kaitaiga

Like this post if you want to be tagged in future fics and art (18+ only) and if you no longer want to be tagged just remove your like.

#call of duty #frank woods #cod bell #cod oc mila #frank woods x mila #frank woods x cod bell #efing fanfics #efingfanfics #alex mason #jason hudson

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[foxskip]

Not to be a #hater but they rly did make the wrong Superboy bi (it should've been Konnnnnn)

HELLO ???????????????

#Yeah yeah Jon's a Superman now b/c Bendis whatever #And like I'm pretty neutral on timkon as a ship but you cannot tell me he's the straight one with that leather jacket outfit #(ignoring the t shirt/jeans outfit in which he looks like the straightest guy ever) #As long as he doesn't get the immediate boring boyfriend pair off like Jon did it would've been way more interesting for his character imo #But they fumbled the bag w/ Tim doing the exact same thing anyway so who knows #I wonder if they were afraid of potentially making timkon even possible in canon #b/c most of the time when the canonize a character being queer they never explore that w/ characters they actually have chemistry with nooo #just put them w/ some boring minor or new character who CARES ABOUT DOING SOMETHING INTERESTING #WHEN WE CAN JUST GET POSITIVE PRESS FROM NORMIES #BUT AGAIN IDEC ABOUT TIMKON I JUST WANT SOMETHING INTERESTING #CONTRAST IT W/ HIS MASCULINITY & SYMBOL & HISTORY OF GIRLFRIENDS #MAYBE HE'S BAD AT TRYING TO DATE DUDES #Urrrrrrrgh #REMEMBER HOW HE GOT TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY ADULT WOMEN AS A TEEN TWICE? DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO ANYONE #FOR HIS DATING LIFE? HIS SEXUALITY #HELLO #DC #DO YOU REMEMBER #This has gone completely off the rails #WAIT DC YOU COULD DO SOMETHING RLY FUNNY SINCE YOU'RE MAKING M'GANN--A SHAPESHIFTER-- HIS GIRLFRIEND #JUST SAYING #Kon-El #Conner Kent #ALSO WOWWW HOW DID THEY MAKE THAT RED HAIR STREAK LOOK SO BAD #WAITX2 THE ACTION COMICS WRITER ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO SOMETHING QUEER W/ HIM IF DC LETS HER ??? HMMMMM #(I hope it involves the shapeshifting lmao) #Actually I think she wants to trans his gender

[solemntitty]

i did my time

#jamie has made a statement #genshit blogging #personal #planning on c1 later bc. obvious reasons #i think he's like. 44cr and 125 cdmg #which for my ass that hates farming artifacts is p good #ngl i farmed a shitton until i got to today where i made the executive decision to Swipe for the rest of my guarantee #lost the 50/50 early to keqing and then farmed my ass off until i had nothing else to give #i became a teapot main for this man. a fucking teapot main #do you know how long ayaka waited to say her voiceline about the furniture. do you know #my ayaya that i've had since 2.7 and who i fed until i got sick and tired of her #she lives with a level 3 sword now. sometimes without artifacts. she is 8/8/9 #btw all the four stars at the top r because i was leveling them to lvl 70 so that #i could get the free standard wish and maybe get enough of the starglitter to get an event banner wish #like i was insane for this man for the past 2 weeks #it was fun tho i like grinding ngl #got to spiral abyss 11.3 which i never do #my fucking zhongli finally used for his intended shieldbot purposes at 8/10/8 and 40k hp with r5 black tassel #this marks now the second character i have spent real world dollars for outside of the monthly pass #first was kazuha which. he's kazuha

[gachaparadise]

ahhh the Penacony leaks are really coming in now.

*chuckles* I'm in danger.

#i keep going back and forth about if i'm skipping Ratio. I was 100% going for him but now. looking at whats coming #I like Sunday and Robin and Boothill and Gallagher and Misha and Aventurine and DUKE INFERNO?!? #okay. i just saw that Aventurine might be sustain unit. i NEED one of those so bad. #my accounts gonna be completely fucked if i don't get a good support sometime soon. so like. that moves him WAY up my priorities list #and moves Ratio down :( still dunno exactly what he does waiting for official release to make final decisions #but. if he's really an imaginary dps. i might... *dies a little bit* skip him #i just!!! i have DH!!! i WANT to use DH! he's my favourite character in the damn game! #and >_> is Ratio going to have story relevance? i thought Argenti would get more then just a companion quest but he hasn't #and that kinda... bums me out? i like the meet a character THEN roll for them not the other way around. i like character who matter plotwis #A!NY!WAY! putting that aside. i might just go for the 50/50 and take what i get. just to smooth out my pity if nothing else #i don't have most of the standard pool so chances are *knocks on wood* i'll have something new to work with #and like we are getting an absolute BARRAGE of hard skip banners coming up after him. #i do not care for these women at all. extremely mid designs i SLEEP #(except for the judge she fucks but. jades are tight right now honey im sorry!!) #so. i've got a little but of time to save afterwards #post: misc #game: honkai sr #these tags are long and disjointed but its *checks clock* almost 2:30 am so. i'm a bit. you know. #i could save this draft for tomorrow and edit into something resembling a human's train of thought instead of word vomit but #i kinda wanna capture the moment. this is how i saw the leaks. the essence of desperation of a f2p. aahhh gacha my beloved.

[solradguy]

I came to terms with the Sol kinnie thing months ago now because honestly who gives a shit, but every now and then I'll find myself in a situation where I wonder if whatever it was I was about to do was/is a pre- or post-Guilty Gear interest lol

#textpost #Most of them have been pre-Guilty Gear interests which is honestly hilarious #Like of course I don't have proof for most of it but my fursona is the funniest one #He's basically bootleg furry Sol Badguy BUT he was like that MONTHS before I got into GG #I've been thinking about this over the last few days though #Because I was doing some Queen stuff and had a thought like 'am I only doing this because my brain's weird or do I actually care' #And went through like a checklist of things. I do actually care #Sol is like frighteningly relatable though and sometimes I wish he wasn't lol #I typed this at 2am last night but saved it to my drafts instead of publishing it haha Still kinda feeling it this morning though tbh #I wish I could better articulate or find a term that describes how I relate to Sol better because 'kin/fictionkin' feels too... #Hmm.... Psycho-religious? A lot of essays I read while initially figuring this out related the kin tag to something more like a- #-Philosophy or something similar to a religion #But for me it's more like my brain filling in empty spaces within itself because No One was like me growing up and #now that I'm also trans there are even LESS people who are like me #So my brain sees a character that's similar to me and is like 'oh holy shit it's us. Let's be like that' hahah #This got really long I should've put it up in the post sorry lmfao #Anyway this is something I've done my whole life and 'kinning' is really the only term that fits what it is even if it's not a 1:1 fit #It usually doesn't bother me but knowing that some of the things I enjoy now I probably won't later once my interests shift again does #I still keep waiting for it to happen with Guilty Gear but GG is so different from anything else I've been into I'm not sure it will #Since most of the things I like about GG were things I liked before getting into it. Like heavy metal & weird scifi/fantasy #I'm not going to elaborate on how exactly I relate to Sol also. My blog is too public for that #and this post is already a little too personal #kin tag

[epicene-humanoid]

happy will wood wthursday to all who celebrate 🧀 hope to see y’all on the other side of “in case i make it,” bc i may in fact not make it through this album fr 🫶

#wasssss that allll there wasss to thisss 😭😭 tearing up already jesus #YOOOO THE INSTFUMENTATION IN TRACK 2 HELLOOOOO #are you fucking kidding me. god fuck. i am a becoming the last names stan first and a human second. #it just feels inhumane to lose this much 😭🤞 CUZ WHEN YOU LEAVE TOU KNOW YOU TAAAKE MORE THAN YOUR LOOOOVE #literally sprinting to unplug my emotions so i can get through euthanasia in one piece 🏃‍♂️ i know it’s not true :( there’s just no more you #i need to listen to falling up 29 more times omg… is now really a good time for a new tattoo djdksk HUSH. #‘come on sweep me off my knees’ is SUCHH. a good lyric. also there’s so much gender in this i gottta examine later #alright who’s gonna fall in love with me so we can dance to um it’s kind of a lot 🤨 me and who. WHOM. ayayayayay. #vampire reference in a minor key has me by the THROAT. literally i’m so ready for halloween #twerks to you liked this 😫 literally such a banger #the main character makes me want to walk like a pixar villain oh my GOD #‘i’m the main character and you have to like me 😁😁’ WAAHA I LOVE THIS SONG SM #SORRY WAIT DID HE JUST REFERENCE DOCTOR WHO SHDKDKS EYO??? #literally giggling and kicking my feet no literally i’m making the main character my ENTIREEEEE personality ehehehehe 🤭🤭 #the claps in against the kitchen floor by will wood 🤝🤝 the claps in nobody by mitski #no bc how does he drop the lyric ‘make the closest thing to love that i’m capable of’ and then i’m just supposed to move ON W MY DAY??? #i’m playing the last like 45 seconds of this song for my therapist if i ever get one djdkdk #A DATA ENTRY FIVE TO NINERRRR 📢📢📢 #sex drugs and rock n roll song of the century methinks #the song title that starts ‘big fat bitchie’s blueberry pie’ takes longer to scroll through the title than the song is long 😭 obsessed #YOO WAS THAT MIRACLE MUSICAL ‼️ right at the beginning of willard! i stg omg #will wood can do a leitmotif like nobody else fr 🫶 #in conclusion i’ll never be the same ♥️ my faves from the new releases are main character and becoming the lastnames for sure #ok now to listen to the whole thing 40 more times xoxoxo #is this anything

[abelas]

guess who’s writing an interactive fiction novel 👉👈 can anyone say dark fantasy horror/romance ✍️

#I AM #i think im actually doing it #im SO pleased with the concept #i've got all the romances figured out #i need to worldbuild and develop characters #its got ELVES. its got GOBLINS. its got TIEFLINGS. #im LOVING the plot so far LMAO!!! i havent written in a long time and im really not as experienced as some people #so im really trying not to be too hard on my self? like this is just gonna be a really fun project #and something to get me started w/ being creative again #cause man. i miss that. i miss like.. living life and making things i enjoy making #anyway.................. i dont want to release a demo. i want the whole first book to be done before i release anything #BECAUSE I HATE WAITING FOR DEMOS AND CHAPTERS!!!!!!!!! so i'd rather have it all accessible at once. who knows how long this is gonna take #its gonna be a WHIIIIILE before anything is released but at least i have a plot. i was worried about that LMAO but i think im getting the #ball rolling now and its exciting :') #personal