#and she's so hurt and frustrated and she KNOWS she could be on her own anyway! one of the ways in which she's too grown-up

[copper-16]

Tulips and Two Embarrassing Mothers

Elena brings Kaia home to meet Ingrid and Mapi. Which of course leaves them to reminisce on the last time she brought home a partner to meet her parents.

(a/n: Once every blue moon Copper-16 attempts to be funny, despite the fact that she is inherently not a funny person! This is said attempt! Read at your own risk :)

Elena stared at her mother, sitting across the table from her. 

Mapi stared right back at her daughter, the two of them seemingly lost in a battle of wills that neither seemed inclined to give up. 

Ingrid stared at them from her position leaning back against the kitchen counter, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. 

“Here is the deal,” Elena said finally, her gaze pointed. “You are going to be nice, you are going to be kind, and most of all? You are going to be normal,” the dark haired girl stressed, her words harsh. 

“I will be normal!” Mapi cried out indignantly, and Ingrid finally allowed herself to shake her head slightly, giving in to the urge to roll her eyes. 

“Your track record is not exactly the best for this thing, and we both know that,” Elena sassed quickly, and Mapi slapped her hand over her heart, feigning that she was quite hurt by the statement. 

“Oh for Christ’s sake Mami, really? Do you need a reminder of what exactly happened last time?!” Elena fought easily, and Mapi stuck her nose up in the air, shaking her head. 

“I have no clue what you are talking about,” she shook her head stubbornly, and her daughter allowed her head to drop into her hands with frustration. 

—

Elena was seventeen, and it was the first time she was bringing a partner home to meet her parents. 

Which would have been fine, if not for the conversation that had happened the week prior at the dinner table. 

“Mami, Mama? I need to tell you something,” she explained as she set down her fork, both of her mothers looking up at her with concern. 

“What is it baby?” Ingrid asked softly, leaning forward with worry. The teenager seemed stressed about something, but neither of them knew what it was about. 

“Well, I…uh…I’m seeing someone. We are dating, in fact,” she explained, and her mother’s faces relaxed from concern to excitement. 

“Oh honey that is wonderful!” Mapi exclaimed, feeling a little better now that she knew it was not something bad. Elena seemed to perk up at her mother’s reaction, some of her nerves dissipating at their clear ease. She had been worried that they would be upset with her, but that didn’t seem to be the case. 

“And well…I was wondering if he could come for dinner so that you could meet him,” she continued, and Ingrid nodded her head with an easy smile on her face, very open to the idea. 

Mapi was also nodding her head, before she paused. It was a slight misstep, just a brief pause, before the smile was back on her face, just in a slightly more forced fashion. 

Elena had scampered off to her room after dinner, leaving the two wives alone to clean up the kitchen for the night. 

“Boyfriend?! She has a boyfriend?!” Mapi whisper screamed as she rushed after Ingrid into the kitchen. The Norwegian jumped at the sudden intrusion of her wife in her personal space, and she looked back at the Spaniard as though she had grown another head. 

“What? What is wrong? We always said we were okay with her dating, we just wanted her to be honest with us,” Ingrid remembered simply, not entirely understanding her wife’s outburst. 

“But a boyfriend?!” Mapi hissed, and Ingrid’s expression dropped as she began to understand. 

“María, just because we are gay doesn’t mean that our daughter is,” the green eyed woman explained slowly, keeping her voice level. 

“But you gave birth to her! You are the gayest person I know, look at your outfit! Look at your hands!” Mapi cried, as though this was a logical argument. Ingrid looked down first at the clothes that she was wearing, and then at her hands for a moment with complete confusion before she shook her head, refocusing on the conversation. 

“The fact that she came out of me, who is gay, has nothing to do with whether or not she will be gay,” Ingrid reasoned, and the Spaniard threw her head back dramatically, sighing heavily. 

“But now we have to follow the boyfriend protocol! I need to scare him! Show him that he will never be good enough for my little girl!” Mapi claimed, as the dark haired woman’s expression shifted to one of thinly veiled horror. 

“María min, you will do no such thing. I promise you, that is not what Elena needs from us,” Ingrid pleaded, knowing that her wife’s mind was already running with possibilities, none of which could be any good. 

“No, no, I need to prepare,” Mapi declared, pressing a kiss to her wife’s cheek before she left Ingrid in the kitchen, marching off to her office to get up to nothing good, that the Norwegian was sure of. The dark haired woman looked down at her hands once more, turning them over and back again before she shook her head, calling after her wife. 

“What do you mean, my hands are gay? What does that mean?!” 

—

Elena and Ingrid were preparing dinner when Mapi sauntered down the stairs, and both her daughter and wife turned at the sound of her entrance. 

For Ingrid, she had to attempt to hold back her laughter. For Elena, her jaw dropped open in shock, and not in a good way. 

“Mami, no!” Elena called out in despair, taking in the Spaniard’s outfit. 

Mapi was dressed in head to toe black formal wear. She had on a black button up, with black slacks and a black belt. Sunglasses sat over her eyes, never mind the fact that they were indoors. 

“You look like you are in the Secret Service!” Elena cried despondently, and Mapi smiled victoriously. 

“You said he is from America, no? He will be scared of me then, if I am dressed like the Secret Service,” she reasoned, as Elena dropped her head into her hands, her face flushing with embarrassment. It was true that the boyfriend, Grayson, was American. His mother worked in diplomacy and was settled here in Spain with her family, where Grayson attended the same private school that Elena did. 

“We met in my statistics class, it’s not like he stalked me!” Elena cried, her eyes roving over the outfit. “Mami, you cannot wear this. Tell her Mama!” The teenager tried, looking back at her other mother hopefully. 

“I already tried to talk her out of it! She was…insistent,” Ingrid replied diplomatically, trying to seem like she wasn’t about to burst out laughing. She was dressed in a simple sundress, far more normal than whatever getup Mapi was wearing. The Spaniard had by now taken off her sunglasses, making the whole getup slightly more palatable, but the teenager still had many complaints to be heard. 

But before Elena could even start to beg her mother to change, there was a knock at the door. 

Mapi turned toward the door, as did Elena at the same time, but her daughter was entirely unprepared for the mad rush that the Spaniard would make for the door, making it there before Elena and wrenching it open. 

On the opposite side stood a teenage boy, exactly as one would expect to find him. He looked a little squirrely already, holding a bouquet of tulips in his hand. He shifted from side to side, looking a little more perplexed than truly scared at Mapi standing in the doorframe. 

The former center back looked the boy up and down, clearly surveying him with a frown plastered onto her face. 

“Uh…hola?” The boy asked hesitantly, his face filling just slightly with relief when Elena’s face popped over her mother’s right shoulder. 

“Elena!” He smiled, but it dropped slightly when Mapi shifted to the side, suddenly blocking Elena from view. She still hadn’t moved from the doorframe, not allowing the boy any further into their home. 

“Mami, let him in!” Elena hissed, tugging at her mother’s arm. Mapi gave it another thirty seconds before she finally moved, grumbling under her breath. The teenager shot her boyfriend an apologetic look as she ushered him inside, allowing him to hand the flowers to Ingrid, who took them with a gentle nod of her head. 

As much as Mapi was putting a show on about it, Ingrid was still a little skeptical about the boyfriend as well. She was being perfectly friendly, which was more than her wife could say, but she was still on alert. 

“Come on, we are going to have dinner,” Elena stepped forward to grab the boy's hand, leading him insistently toward the set table that was out on their patio. 

“Hey, hey, everyone hands to themselves!” Mapi called out, and her daughter obeyed but not without shooting a death glare back at her. Ingrid looked equally unimpressed, wiping her hands on a towel as she shot her wife a look. 

“We might be instigating a bit of a double standard here,” 

“Hey, you and I are married! She is a baby!” Mapi argued heavily, but Ingrid wasn’t impressed. 

“We both know that we would have been horribly insufferable if we had met when we were younger. You were a horny mess when I met you at twenty five, I could not imagine you at seventeen,” Ingrid remarked with a hint of sarcasm, as Mapi shoved her respective pointer fingers into her ears, screwing her eyes shut as well. 

“Oh gross! La la la la la—I can’t hear you!” She called out as she moved toward the sliding glass door, joining the two students at the table as Ingrid brought out the last of the food. 

Things didn’t get much better once they had sat down, all of them beginning to make some small talk. Ingrid asked Grayson about his family and his time in Spain, curious as to what the life of a diplomat's son would be like. He answered kindly, speaking animatedly but with a good intelligence. 

He overall seemed like a good young man, but despite that, Mapi still glared at him as she ate, her chest puffed out more than necessary. 

“You two met in school, yes?” Ingrid inquired politely, and Elena nodded as she took a bite of chicken, unprepared for her mother’s next question.

“So, Grayson, do you make it a habit to always approach girls in these classes to ask them out?” Mapi accused, her words taut with a clear insinuation. Elena choked on the bite of food she was eating, swallowing roughly as she clawed for her glass of water, her face flushing red. 

“Mami!” She snapped under her breath. 

“Um…no? Elena was the one who asked me out, actually,” he admitted, and like a balloon, Mapi seemed to deflate. 

“Oh. That is very…female forward of you,” she conceded, murmuring it more to herself than anything else. Ingrid rolled her eyes, turning the conversation away from the awkward question. 

“You both used to play football, right?” Grayson asked, and Ingrid nodded, as did Mapi. 

“Did you play at Barcelona?” He asked, seeming to grow more excited. The Norwegian nodded once more, a smile slipping onto her face as she looked over at her wife. 

“We played together, as center backs,” Ingrid explained, and the teenager lit up with excitement. 

“Wow, that is so cool! My family are big Barcelona fans, I grew up watching them. That is so cool that you both played there so long,” he replied, trying to be friendly. 

“See Mami, he is a Barcelona fan! Isn’t that nice?” Elena probed, looking at Mapi hopefully. The brunette grumbled in agreement, spearing another piece of asparagus on her fork and shoving it in her mouth to avoid speaking more. 

In the end, it was Ingrid who scared the poor boy more than Mapi ever did. The Spaniard was too big making an accidental fool of herself entirely to really be all that effective in ‘scaring’ anyone, and the Norwegian’s quiet demeanor and piercing gaze turned out to be much better tactics for inciting fear, had that been the goal. 

It was only when the door shut on Grayson that Mapi turned to her wife and daughter, a big smile on her face. 

“I thought that went very well!” She declared, watching as both her wife and daughter’s heads dropped into their respective hands in unison. 

“Well, at least nobody will claim you two aren’t related,” the brunette sighed as she moved away from them, feeling quite content with her (slightly ridiculous) actions. 

“I am never speaking to you again!” Elena yelled down at her as she walked up the stairs, rolling her eyes at how horrible the whole dinner had gone. 

—

“I don’t see why you aren’t getting mad at her, she was the one who actually scared him!” Mapi reminded her daughter helpfully, pointing to Ingrid and entirely throwing her under the bus. 

“On accident! She scared him on accident!” Elena interjected, and Mapi threw a look at the dark haired woman, narrowing her eyes. 

“By accident! Have you seen her - she doesn’t do things by accident!” 

“I sure don’t,” she replied to her wife with an almost sultry undertone, and Elena gagged. 

“Gross, both of you! Keep it in your pants and together, please. You are going to be normal,” she pointed to Mapi first. 

“And you are going to be nice!” She turned to Ingrid, one eyebrow raised. Both of her mothers raised their hands in surrender, before promising their daughter that they would do their best to keep things kind. 

It was the first time her mothers were meeting Kaia. They had been dating for nearly a year at this point, but with the busy schedule of Kaia’s playing and Elena’s schooling, they hadn’t been able to coordinate for the striker to meet Mapi and Ingrid. 

They had technically met when the English girl was much younger, but it was the first time she was meeting them as Elena’s girlfriend. It was also the first time that she was introducing a partner to her parents since Grayson, and she was hinging on it going well. 

She really liked Kaia. The green eyed girl hadn’t dated a whole lot of people, but there was something about the footballer that felt…different. In the best way possible. 

Mapi is dressed in a nice white polo and some khaki slacks, a far cry from the Dracula inspired outfit she was wearing the last time. Ingrid has a t-shirt and a flowing skirt on, and it is she who offers to get the door when it rings, saving the student and Spaniard as Elena hurriedly reminds her mother of about ten more things to remember when meeting her girlfriend. 

“Kaia, hello!” Ingrid cries happily as she opens the door, immediately pulling the striker into a hug. She ushers the girl inside with a smile, and Elena does a double take when she realizes that her girlfriend is holding a bouquet of tulips, much like Grayson had. 

She hops up from the table, all but floating over to her girlfriend happily as she presses a kiss to her cheek, before she wraps her arms around the English girl, holding her tightly in her arms for a second. 

Perhaps, to protect her from the onslaught she is sure to receive from her mothers when she lets her go. 

But the daughter of the two former Barcelona center backs has absolutely nothing to worry about, it turns out. 

Because as though they have been magically cured of their skepticism, Mapi and Ingrid couldn’t be nicer. 

“You are so much bigger now, but I still remember when you were so little! Maren would visit and bring you to camp and we would always coo over how adorable you were,” Ingrid reminisces, as Kaia blushes slightly. 

“I hardly remember it, but I’m sure I loved going,” she gushed, placing the salad on the table as all of the women sat down together. 

“And you are playing at Chelsea now, is that correct?” Mapi asks, her voice friendly and open, as her daughter sitting next to her stares at her in shock. 

“Yes! They called me back from my loan from Hammarby last season and I’ve been playing with them for the year, it’s been a wonderful experience,” Kaia explained, and the Spaniard nodded slowly, considering her words. 

“Any interest in the Spanish league?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Kaia was quick to affirm her question. 

“Yes, absolutely! That is the goal, especially with Kaia being here for the next few years with school,” she explained, and approval shined in the Spaniard’s eyes as she nodded, before Ingrid moved the conversation along. 

It was only when Kaia got up to use the restroom that Elena whirled around to her mother, looking full of skepticism. 

“What is this!” She exclaimed, and Mapi’s eyebrows furrowed in instant confusion. 

“What do you mean!” She huffed, confused by the doubt present in her daughter's expression. 

“You are acting so…so normal!” Elena observed as Mapi’s expression shifted to one of indignancy. 

“I am normal! Tell her amor, I am so normal!” The brunette stressed, but Ingrid took one look at the pair and threw her hands up, standing up to clear the table to bring out dessert. 

“Oh no, there’s no way I’m getting involved in this discussion,” she clarified, leaving the two alone at the table. 

“When I brought Grayson home, you were the opposite of normal! You were absolutely deranged!” 

“Deranged might be a bit strong. I prefer overprotective,” Mapi denied helpfully, standing up from the table to go help Ingrid. “Besides, that boy was not good for you. Kaia is much better for you, much better to you.” 

Elena’s eyes narrowed as her mother spoke, her brain working overtime to discern the true meaning behind her words. 

“Is this because Kaia is a girl and Grayson was not?!” She realized, and while Mapi didn’t reply, her expression told the Spanish student everything she needed to know. 

“This is reverse discrimination!” Elena hissed, as Mapi looked back at her with an overly innocent face whilst she moved toward the kitchen. 

“What was that hon?” She called out, a rather devious grin on her face as her daughter sent her what must be her fifth death glare of the night. 

Mapi had just disappeared into the kitchen when Kaia walked around the corner, finding her girlfriend looking rather annoyed, a classic Elena expression. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” She asked instantly, one of her eyebrows raising as she looked around, expecting to find something amiss. Instead, all she saw was Mapi and Ingrid headed back to the table with dessert, smiling at one another. 

Elena caught one glimpse of them and groaned, running her hand over her face in slight frustration. She looked up at the English girl with an exasperated face as she shook her head. 

“Don’t even ask!"

#woso #ingrid engen #mapi leon #ingrid x mapi x daughter #barcelona femeni #this is my attempt at being funny

[olenvasynyt]

I have always been uncomfortable with the SF scene where Cassian takes Nesta on the hike, but I didn't fully understand why until my most recent reread. And it is one of the reasons why I am anti-Nessian.

This is a summary of my tiktok video, feel free to check it out, and follow me over there as well if ya want.

So this hike was right after Nesta lashes out and tells Feyre that the baby was going to kill her during the birth, and this was because of her frustration and hate towards Rhys and the IC and how she has been treated.  

Chapter 46 of ACOSF: “Is it respect that she offers you?” Nesta spat.  “Is it respect that your mate offers you?” Feyre went still. … “What do you mean?” “Have any of them told you, their respected High Lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?” “…I do know that your mate ordered everyone not to inform you about the truth.  Did you all vote on that too?  Did you talk to her, judger her, and deem her unworthy of the truth?”

It broke something in Nesta—broke that rage, that roaring—seeing those tears begin to fall, the fear crumbling Feyre’s paint-smeared face.   She had gone too far.  She..oh, gods.

But as Feyre and Cassian both point out, she saw the parallels between Feyre’s situation and her own, and decided to avenge both of them.  Rhys and Amren were hiding the truth about Nesta’s powers, she knew that a lot of them did not trust her to know the truth about her own body.  

Chapter 47 of ACOSF: I think she saw the parallels between your situations, and, in her own way, decided to avenge both of you. That’s my feeling too.  Rhys disagrees.

I think Feyre’s situation was much more serious than Nesta’s powers being kept from her, but that is also why it was good for Feyre to find out the truth even if the situation was upsetting.  

Cassian was like oh "I’m sorry you found out the baby could kill you" and Feyre was like "I’m not.  I’m mad at you guys for not telling me.  Nesta was the only one brave enough to."

Chapter 47 of ACOSF: “I’m sorry you had to learn of it.” “I’m not.  I’m furious with all of you, I understand why you didn’t tell me, but I’m furious. Well, we’re furious with Nesta. She had the courage to tell me the truth. She told the truth to hurt you. Perhaps.  But she was the only one who said anything. — I wish you’d found out a different way. Well, I didn’t.  But we’ll face it together.  All of us. — I want you to come back home.  Both of you.

I love how Feyre, who is the one was the victim in this moment, was like “I’m not sorry this was how I learned about the baby but I’m glad someone told me.  Rhys overreacted, I calmed him down and I want both of you home.”

Rhys overreacted.  He completely and utterly overreacted. — Rhys had no right to chase you from the city, or threaten Nesta.  He has realized that, and apologized.  I want you to come back home.  Both of you.  

Now kind of going off topic with Rhys threatening to kill Nesta: people get mad at Cassian for not standing up for his mate.  And I can understand that, I also think that’s frustrating and Cassian not standing up for Nesta is something we see often, including the Ember and Randall bonus chapter in HOFAS.  But it can be complicated because a lot of people will defend Cassian like this: Rhys is high lord and it will be very hard to stand up to him as someone who’s not on his level, so of course Cassian couldn’t do anything to defend his mate in this situation.  And yes this is true, and we see a very similar situation between a High Lord and their superior with Tamlin and Lucien in ACOMAF. Lucien tried to stand up for Feyre but couldn’t, and was shut down and abused. 

But if people are going to use this idea to defend Cassian, that he couldn’t stand up and fight his high lord, we have to make this comparison between  Rhys to Tamlin.  And a lot of pro-Rhys people don't like that conversation.

But anyways, this argument cannot be applied to this hiking situation at all, because Feyre mindspeaks with Cassian and says that Rhys overreacted, she isn’t mad at Nesta, all of those things I talked about before.  Feyre says that she wants both of them home but Cassian still brings Nesta to a hike and says he’ll call it a punishment to sort of appease Rhys because he knows Rhys is still mad about the situation.  “Tell Rhys it’s a punishment.”  Rhys was not the victim in this situation, Feyre was, and she was like fuck Rhys!  He was wrong for overreacting!  Nesta was braver than you guys and I want her home.  

Where did you even head off to? The wilderness.  I think we’ll stay out here for a few days.  We’re going on a hike.   Nesta has never been on a hike in her life.  I guarantee she will hate it. Then tell Rhys this is her punishment.  Because Rhys, despite apologizing for his threats, would still be furious.  Tell him that Nesta and I are going to hike, and she’s going to hate it, but she comes home when I decide she’s ready to come home.

But Cassian still brings Nesta on the hike.

And he was definitely doing it for Nesta and to help her work out her thoughts and not solely because of Rhys, but this hike is a terrible way to help a suicidal person work out their thoughts.

This hike pisses me off so much. The way the IC decided to “rehabilitate” Nesta in general pisses me off.  I liken Nesta’s “rehab” to those therapy wilderness camps where people get kidnapped and brought to the middle of the mountains for.  Those rehab camps revolve around forcing people to get to their lowest to rehabilitate, to acknowledge their mistakes, and it is a horrible, abusive system and very often results in resentment at best and death at worst.  And I think Nesta being locked up was the same thing and this hike is the same thing.  One of the several things those rehab boot camps do is force their patients to go on strenuous hikes for multiple days, and when it’s beyond their physical capacity.  It can lead to exhaustion, dehydration, injury, and death.

And one of my least favorite things in this entire book is that when Cassian realizes that Nesta is suicidal, he continues the hike up the rocky cliffs of the Illyrian Steppes with barely any food and even less talk.  He doesn’t look at her or speak to her in days.

It is to force Nesta to get to her lowest moment so she’ll break down.  Exactly like what happens during those rehab camps.  It is forcing her into this breakdown in an unsafe place with no professional help. 

Cassian knew that Nesta often hated herself.  But he’d never known she hated herself enough to want to…not exist anymore. He’d seen her expression when he mentioned the threat of falling. And he knew going back to Velaris wouldn’t save her from that look.  He couldn’t save her from that look, either. Only Nesta could save herself from that feeling.

When I read SF for the first time I was so weirded out by this hike and I couldn’t figure out why.  I do not find these chapters moving or inspiring, I thought they were toxic and sad and I still very much do.  And if I’m going to be honest I felt like I was also being manipulated into getting emotional like how Nesta was.  

And this is where I’m going to get into my criticisms for SJM.  

I don’t know if she realizes this comparison between Nesta’s rehabilitation in general and the boot camps and just, bad, toxic therapy in general.  I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because I think a lot of Silver Flames is about how the Valkyries helped heal Nesta and SJM and their hike during the Blood Rite was so much more inspiring at least for me and was definitely the climax and resolution to Nesta’s healing journey.  SJM illudes to the IC’s biases very often in SF and I thought she was making Nesta’s rehab toxic on purpose, but the reason why I struggle with giving SJM the benefit of the doubt is because she said in an interview that that hike Cassian took Nesta on was inspired by a hike she and her husband went on during a vacation.

I also hate how she adds the idea that the mountains are healing, and there is a voice telling Cassian to keep pushing Nesta forward, “just one more mountain”.  Like no.  This again adds to the comparison of the fucking bootcamps because that is also a tactic they use.

Chapter 48 of ACOSF: The peaks weren’t as brutal and sharp as those in Illyria, but there was a presence to them that he couldn’t quite explain.  Mor had once told him that long ago, these lands had been used for healing. Perhaps that was why he’d come.  Some instinct had remembered the healing, felt this land’s slumbering heart, and decided to bring Nesta here.

This is fantasy, of course, so I am fine with this element of a higher presence that is healing to the characters who are struggling.  And there is the symbolic element of climbing your mountain.  But I need people to stop saying that this is a realistic way to treat people with actual problems in the real world, not only with this hike but also with all of the rehabilitation the IC made her do by locking her up.�� I might make a whole other video on that but if Nesta was in the House of Wind because she was addicted to alcohol and fucking strangers and spending money, this is not the professional way to go about it.  

I like a lot of parts during this final breakdown where they talk about forgiving yourself, leaving the past behind.  But I did not like the journey they made Nesta take to get to this point.  Nesta could have very well had this breakdown not on this hike.  

And this part ends with Cassian comforting Nesta. 

“I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he whispered into her palm.  “Just don’t lock me out.  You want to walk in silence for a week, I’m fine with that.  So long as you talk to me at the end of it.”

Like I appreciate this sentiment.  

But, another thing that annoys me is Cassian’s conclusion after this scene

Chapter 50 of ACOSF: “She’d been suffering, and he’d had no idea how much it consumed every facet of her life.  He’d seen her self-loathing and anger—but hadn’t realized how much she’d been aware of it.  To know she’d hurt this much, for so long.

First of all, how would Nesta not know she was aware of her self-loathing and anger?  She had actively talked about it before this moment??? She fucking has. And how did Cassian not know that she had been hurting this much for long long?  I thought he was her mate who understood her?  He talked about her traumas before in ACOWAR.  Plus, I thought she was being rehabilitated.  Helping her get not addicted to alcohol and spending money and having sex?  

There is such a lack of awareness when it comes to the IC and this situation and I get frustrated when readers don’t understand it.  People say that Nesta’s rehab was very serious and complex but no.  It wasn’t.  It is a terrible way to help anyone.  

I think Nesta and Cassian still have to work on a lot to be an actual healthy relationship.  And we saw the issues they still have in the Randall and Ember bonus chapter so I am very curious to see how SJM resolves their issues in future books, if she does so at all.

#anti inner circle #anti nessian #pro nesta #pro nesta archeron #nesta archeron deserves better #anti ic #anti sjm #sjm critical

[wolfs-archive]

Channie drunk confessions (the angstier the better but fluffy ending) as long as possible PLEASE I BEG

Sorry for the late reply dear anon, Angst has never been my genre, but feel free to see if it suits your taste.

"Stop over stepping your boundaries!!!"

Summary: Chan who was forced to marry Y/N hates her that he still in a relationship with his office mate Reena. Little does time and Y/N's attitude change his perspective of Y/N.

Pairing: Strangers to Lovers ft. forced marriage

Genre: angst, fluff here and there, mentions of drinking, cheating, crying, fainting, blood and horrible writing.

Note: I really felt bad writing this... I can never see Chan or any members as toxic or bad. I'm sorry Chan or Chan staners if it hurt y'all coz it hurt me a lot when I wrote it. This is one reason why I never write angst for any member.

Chan and Y/N were into an arranged marriage. Chan was forced into it just because his parents had their own reason. The reason Chan didn't want to marry Y/N was because he was already in a relationship with his officemate Reena. His parents threatened him and hence he married Y/N. Y/N foresaw the future and accepted her fate just with the thought that marriage would change him and that she could live happily. The initial days of marriage didn't go as expected. Morning she would get up early to prepare breakfast but he would not care to eat it, he would come home late, he would always sleep on the couch. Weekends were even worse, she would slog all day to work and he would litter the place just like a teenage boy. God knows what made Y/N to fall in love with the man who didn't care a bit about her. Y/N would always wait for her husband to arrive to eat dinner even if it was 1:00 AM. Even if she knew he would not have the breakfast she prepared, she would still get up early in the morning.

One day when she askes him as to why he doesn't have breakfast, he says, "Look here Y/N, it's my house, you have no right to question me. To this house, your just a maid. A maid who tends for me. Get it? Stop over stepping your boundaries!!!" as he slammed the door. A crippled Y/N let's out her frustration through tears. Not knowing what to reply, she decides to call her best friend Lia to pour her feelings. "Dude, though he is your husband, he has no right to yell at you like that. How did that bastard have conscience to call you a maid. Did he know how many were behind you or that how rich you are? Was this asshole the reason you left your designing job for?" she asked. After pacifying her, Lia said, how about I come to your home till he comes?" she asked and when Y/N told her to, she cut the call and drove to Y/N's home. When she knocked on the door and did not receive any reply, she opened the door to see a pale Y/N lying on the floor unconscious. Upon taking her to the nearest clinic, the doctor said that she was malnourished and was under great stress. On her way to the home, Lia, "Dude, Y/N, I really don't know what's gotten into you? Just because he doesn't eat doesn't mean you have to starve. How many days has this been going on? Do aunty and uncle know?" she asked. "Lia, he was just forced to marry me, I would react the same way if it was me in his position. I wanted to give him a few days so he would change himself. Don't tell my parents anything" she said. As they reached home, Lia helped Y/N to lay on her bed, "I sleep on the floor, not here" she said. "Since Chan sleeps on the sofa, I sleep here on the floor" she said pointing to the pillow and the bedsheet lying on the floor." "And despite all this you say you love him. Don't you? Such a nutcase...." replied Lia. As she gave meds and put Y/N to sleep on the bed after a whole lot of debate, she decided to prepare soup for her and by the time she was leaving, Chan entered the house. "Chan, I'm Lia, Y/N's best friend. Do you have a minute to spare?" she asked. "Sure" he replied. "I don't know why you treat Y/N like that, and either way she is a nut case to fall for you despite your words today morning. She called me and bawled like a kid and when I came home to console her, she was lying unconscious. Guess what the doctor said, she was stressed and was malnourished. Because she waits for your arrival since you don't eat, she skips food, this applies to breakfast too. Tbh, just because Y/N is my friend I don't mean to say this. She is just stubborn, but a really kind person. She literally fought with her parents to choose designing and when she was about to flourish in her career, she decided to quit just to become a full time house wife and take care of the house. She... She has had a lot of people who courted here, but when I asked her why she never got into a relationship. She said, "Lia, I want to spend all my first's with my husband; my first kiss, my first hug, my first cuddle, with the guy who will be the father to my kids. I don't mind waiting." I don't think you know the fact that she sleeps on the floor just cause you sleep on the couch. Y/N doesn't deserve any of this. If you don't like her, just divorce her instead of making her suffer. That's all I can say, and thanks for listening to me." she says as she proceeds to exit through the door. "Maybe I was wrong I guess" he felt as if a needle pricked his heart. The next morning onwards, he decided to have breakfast just for her sake and left.

The weekend followed and since the cabinets of the store room became loose, he decided to work on it. As he was hammering nails, he hammered his finger and let out a loud, "Ahhhh", listening to her husband, Y/N came to see what had happened. Seeing the broken nail and blood dripping, she started to cry as she went towards him, "Why did you do like this? Do you know how much it'll pain? Wait till I bring ice cubes and a band aid" she said as she ran to grab ice from the kitchen and band aid from the hall. She took him to wash his hands and placed the ice cube. Then applied the band aid and finally left without saying anything but continued sobbing. Chan felt what he had done to her was wrong and decide to end his relationship with his office mate. He thought he was lucky enough to get a wife as Y/N.

The next day, Chan's assistant calls Y/N, "Ma'am, seems like Sir has left his blue folder on his table, since we have an urgent meeting, could you please bring it for him?" "Sure, can you tell me the address?" she asked and proceeded to head to the office. When she reaches the company, she was directed to Chan's office, before knocking on the door to enter, she listened to a female's voice, "Baby, how many more days should I wait? I can't. When are you going to divorce her?" the voice asked. Before Y/N could process anything, she went to the assistant asking him to hand it over and she left with tears. Either side Chan, "Reena, I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. The amount of love Y/N has, I cannot cheat her. I'm sorry for hurting you, but I can't hurt Y/N. She is really precious and just now I have understood it" he said "It's okay Chan, I thought you didn't want her, but when I heard your words, I don't think it's good to force you. Have a happy life" she said as he went out of the room. "Sir, Y/N Madam had sent this" the assistant said. "Where is she?" Chan asked. "Ma'am left" he replied.

"Till today, I thought he disliked me only because he was forced, I didn't expect him to cheat me on another girl. Y/N it's not your mistake, you should not cry for such a jerk" she said as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror. When Chan came home, he was given the cold treatment. "Did you come by the office. You could have come in to my room?" he said. "Will that change anything between us?" she asked with a stare. "Y/N, how about we go visit the new restaurant this week?" he asked. "Chan! I'm tired please stop it. No one's forcing you to behave like this to me. If you really want to do something for me, please grant me a divorce" she said. Chan couldn't process the words that came out of the mouth that just cried last week when he got hurt. Frustrated with himself, and the mess he brought himself into, he called his close mate Changbin for a drink.

"Chan, you're really a heartless fellow. How could you do these to Y/N. If you don't like her, just..." "I love her now" Changbin interrupted Chan. "Then why don't you confess?" he asked to which Chan replied. "I asked Y/N to come out with me this weekend, she asked for a divorce, I literally just broke up with Reena today." "I'm literally speechless. I really don't know what to advice you." he said. An hour later, Changbin had to carry an intoxicated Chan to his house. When the door bell rung, Y/N went to attend. "Hey Y/N, you must have seen me during your marriage, I'm Changbin. Chan had too many drinks today, so he isn't in his right state of mind now" he said. "Come in", she said as she helped Chan to lay on their shared bed. "Ok Y/N, I'll leave, but before that I just want to tell you something. Chan is not as bad as you think. Trust me, he is really good at heart. Sometimes he doesn't know to just bring it out. So yea, don't take anything serious" Changbin said as he left. Y/N who went to Chan to remove his shoes and his coat, was stopped when she felt Chan mumble to himself, "Y/N, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have treated you like that. I now really love you Y/N" he said as he dozed off.

The next morning, a sober Chan is provided lemon water to cure his morning hangover. "Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute" he asked. "Tell me what quickly, I have to go grocery shopping" she said. He kept the lemon water beside and held her hand, "Y/N, I'm really sorry for treating you this bad. I really love you now" he said. A teary eyed Y/N, spoke, "Chan I thought initially you didn't like this marriage and I thought time would change it. Had I know you were still in a relationship, I wouldn't have bothered to disturb you. Did you know the mistake I made? It was falling for you. Now I hate myself for falling for a man who wouldn't reciprocate his feelings. It's not too late even now, I'll tell my parents that it was my fault and hence we got divorced." she said. Chan felt his heart crush into millions of pieces. Till the yesterday, he never thought Y/N would say something like this. "Y/N ah!!! Y/L/N, it's not what you think." he said. "Don't lie Chan, I heard a girl talk to you about divorcing me. See that's exactly what I wish for too." she said. "Y/N, I really broke up with her. I promise you are the only one now in my life. There's no other girl" replied Chan with tears. "Didn't you call me a maid? A maid isn't supposed to love you Christopher" she yelled. Knowing the intensity the name 'Christopher' carried, Chan thought for a few minutes. He then got up, went closer to her, "Y/N, look at me" he said. "Will that chang---" before she could ask for it, she was wrapped around her waist and kissed. Tears flowed down both their eyes remembering what they had done to each other. "Y/N, I get that I was bad, but I promise on our unborn child, there's no other girl in my life apart from you and I'll really love you till death. As you wished for, your first hug was with me, your first kiss; we did it and I promise to be all your first." he said. Seeing the last few words come out of Chan's mouth, she hugged him and said "Sorry Chan" to which he replied, "I should be the one whose sorry." and kissed her again. "Now how about we go grocery shopping as a couple?" he asked. "Sure" she said chuckling like a teenage girl.

Masterlist

#skz #stray kids #y/n #bang chan #christoper bang chan #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #hyunjin #lee know #changbin #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz headcanons #skz drabbles #skz bang chan #skz chan #skz chris #skz christopher bang chan #skz lee know #skz lee minho #skz lee felix #skz lee yongbok #skz lee felix yongbok #skz lee min ho #skz felix #skz hyunjin #skz changbin #skz seungmin #skz han #skz i.n

[ladyluscinia]

Tashi/Patrick + No Art = disaster fling. Tashi withholds easy (non-sexual) affection like vulnerability will kill her instantly. Patrick has massive commitment issues and defensively frames everything as a joke that he can pull back from at any time. It's impossible to resolve how your relationship is failing to meet your emotional needs if both parties are allergic to treating it more seriously than fuck buddies who could go find someone else at any time. They are constantly on the edge of a blowout fight because they understand each other instinctively but use that understanding mostly for sex and knowing who wins more points in the argument. On a tennis level, Patrick gets it but he is too comfortable as is and lacks a guiding reason to strive, which is even more infuriating than if he didn't get it at all because the wasted potential is constant. And Art in this situation is swallowed by jealousy, like a big ugly pit in his center. His inferiority complex is at an all time high (the second choice twice) and while it does give him some motivation to improve, mostly the spikes of envy/rage derail his focus and trap him in his own negative spirals. He seethes at tennis because he feels like he's always losing before he even steps on the court.

Tashi/Art + No Patrick = cracking under pressure. Tashi's withholding becomes a long term problem when pitted against Art's inferiority issues because she won't be able to stop doing so when it slips over the line from giving him something to strive for to enabling his negative spirals when he really just needs some reassurance. Art is pliable and willing to take direction, but he's also prone to being passive and simply losing energy when Tashi wants him to push back. His quips rarely turn into rallies. He builds low-grade resentment for decisions he's not willing to actually challenge. Tashi likes control but loves a certain kind of adrenaline-junkie spontaneity that gets ground out of Art the longer they are locked in on enabling each other to tunnel vision on optimizing him into the best tennis player ever. On a tennis level, Art is an eternal exercise in frustration because his emotional investment and technical skill are usually a trade-off instead of Tashi's ideal harmony, and she's constantly (and increasingly resentfully) fighting his mental fires for just a spark of real tennis to make it onto the court. Patrick, meanwhile, goes into near permanent flop era because he can't admit he's emotionally starved and his issues make him refuse to chase their coattails out of spite. He embraces the carefree loser persona and lets his own, smaller inferiority complex tell him he won't ever catch up, so why try?

Patrick & Art + No Tashi = I knew that guy in high school. Both deciding against pushing their homoerotic thing too far, and different life goals would probably have just drifted them apart.

Patrick/Art + No Tashi = potential murder-suicide. Patrick is once again non-committal and joking, and Art once again has a lot of jealousy and needs reassurance in the security of his relationship. But where Tashi's withholding at least has an element of she would just leave him if she wanted to, Patrick's eternal hints that there could be a punchline dropping any moment makes Art angrier, not depressed. Art is inclined to compete with Patrick but he doesn't find it as fun and low stakes, and also how do you meaningfully "win" against the guy you are dating and who refuses to take you seriously as a competitor or partner (bringing out the uglier side of the inferiority complex again). Patrick doesn't meaningfully distinguish between when Art is playfully mad at him and genuinely mad at him until he gets his feelings hurt about it, and he still can't talk about those feelings directly. Either a fight goes ugly and they have a messy breakup or Art gets mad enough to kill them both and Patrick just dares him to do it. Tashi probably continues with her life trying to find some other tennis player that can understand the convoluted prism through which she expresses love, but odds are not great because usually romantic partners like it when you can say the words "I love you" and not sound sarcastic about it.

#challengers (2024) #artpatrick murder suicide is my thesis statement here btw #yes art is the male being manipulated yes he is the meat pumpkin married to the tiger #but he would kill that man in a fit of rage if they hooked up long term without tashi there #tashi duncan #patrick zweig #art donaldson #tennis throuple #ladyluscinia #challengers

[ewingstan]

The Love Lost interlude was interesting. The flashback to interrogating Jen seemed to be establishing that Nicole was, even before everything, operating on certain specific beliefs and resulting frustrations. She saw the world as filled with people who aren't people but monsters, and was frustrated at how little she could do about it. She couldn't "stop all the bad guys," resented the misconduct statutes that slowed down her ability to send "monsters" to jail, and was at least somewhat aware that punishing them after they already hurt people accomplished little.

All of which helps explain her obsession with Rain: she sees him as an especially heinous monster who's escaped punishment too long. Not dealing with him and the other monsters would be compounding her failures, and the fact that killing him wouldn't accomplish anything doesn't matter that much, since she didn't really see it as accomplishing anything back when she was a cop.

The oddity is how she sees herself as working with another monster to "save the world." Firstly because Rain doesn't seem world-threatening, though maybe she's talking about the Mathers more generally. The whole of their plan still isn't clear to me, I'm not sure why they needed to attack the Navigators. But the bigger thing is that she sees Cradle as a monster, and it seems like the text agrees with her even in a way it didn't for Jen.

And its somewhat weird for the text to agree with that "some people are monsters" framing when this whole chapter is pretty clear that its wrong. Its earlier use in the flashback seems to be purposefully positioning it as wrong and dangerous:

Nicole describing people as inherently monstrous is first given in the context of a cop deciding someone must be guilty, and falsifying evidence on that basis. Its introduced as being part-and-parcel with police misconduct. And later parts pose it as something borderline fascistic:

She sees certain criminals as "not having reasons," as if they're savages who do violence because of some automatic, atavistic urge. Instead of, you know. Doing crimes to get money/revenge/safety/etc. People usually have reasons for doing things. But the fact that she thinks some people don't, and that she uses such a politically charged word as "degenerate" to describe such monsters, all signpost that Nicole is following an overly simplistic ideology with horrific ends. Even if she sees herself and Nailbiter as "very similar people at different points in their journeys," she sees the latter as someone who needs to die.

Then there's the whole Colt thing, that Colt was distressing to Nicole because she straddled the line between "innocent child" and "monster" and her becoming a parahuman pushed her in one direction rather than Colt's own autonomous choices. Colt has from the start been an example of people doing stupid harmful things for understandable reasons, and Nicole recognizes that as a burr in her worldview.

But then the reveal that Cradle has been manipulating the cluster and literally turning them evil for his own ends. Which admittedly I still don't understand at all. Though part of that is that I don't understand Nicoles side either; she wanted to kill all the "rule-breaker capes" but also said that stopping kids from getting into capedom was a worthy goal, and whatever she thought they were doing with March I completely missed. But the last paragraphs of Cradle revelation suddenly reinforces what the rest of the chapter so persistently (and often skillfully) tried to argue against vis-a-vis some people just being monsters. I'd typically say that this means that we have to be due for a humanizing look at Cradle, but nothing I've seen from Wardblr indicates I'll get it. We'll see.

Part of the problem might just be the form of the story: a genuine ideological belief that no human is a true monster gets in the way of having a truly villainous villain. But I'm not sure why this story needed one.

#i really liked the detail of Rain still wearing a fallen mask in the cluster-space #whether it actually is always there or if Love Lost just always sees him wearing it because of how he sees her is a neat question #wardblr #mals reads ward #mals says #wildbow #parahumans

[cloudcountry]

my two moods while playing jihyun's route are "jihyun i love you, i want you to be safe and happy and love yourself, i want to make sure you know you can trust people and i want you to know that some things just couldn't be avoided because they were the decisions of other people and you couldn't have done anything to help or stop it even if you wanted to, and i know you aren't perfect but i love you anyways because you're trying to get better and improve and thats a beautiful thing." and "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOOSUNG."

#auburn talks mystic messenger <3 #okay so idk how long these tags are going to be but i have BEEF with this blond fella. #if you haven't played jihyun's route and dont want spoilers do not read these tags. also tw for suicide. #i get that hes grieving over rika and that she was really special to him #but under ZERO circumstances does that excuse yelling at jihyun and telling him that he was the reason rika killed herself. #that does not excuse telling mc you're jealous of her because she's with rika when you know damn well the situation is dangerous #that does not excuse CONTINUOUSLY saying that you're certain everything rika has done of her OWN VOLITION was jihyun's fault #that does NOT excuse saying that rika almost blinding jihyun was very a good reason. #he is so. fucking out of touch when everything he needs to know is right in front of him. #his denial is so frustrating and the fact that i can't call him out as mc is even more frustrating #you have no fucking right to blame jihyun for everything that happened while simultaneously glorifying rika's actions. #you are absolutely DESPICABLE and i CANNOT believe you. please get your fucking head on straight for the love of every star in the sky. #no have no right to talk about him like that. nobody has any right to talk about him like that. they were both very bad each other- #-and i CANNOT STAND the fact that you're acting like rika could never do any wrong even if she is a hurting soul #stop excusing her actions. you're so shameless and its infuriating.

[spacedlexi]

i said in my seyka response that i wasnt going to be engaging with any weird fandom drama so know those asks arent seeing the light of day

#i dont even dislike her!! #i just thought her marketing was weird but separated from that Just looking at the dlc shes fine shes cute #except for that weird 'um dont forget how much Seyka is hurting from all this' line towards her freshly-escaped-from-a-cult sister #aloy that was fucked of you #the little things like that here and there frustrated me but i dont have any problems with her as a concept #like i think the Point is that aloy is seeing her through rose tinted glasses you know? having feelings for someone will do that to you #and i think it was a little jarring for us the viewers to see because aloy is Never like this but shes Evolving thats the Point #i think seyka could also benefit from having more screen time to develop more strongly into her own character #bc she does seem to exist to mostly reflect aloys qualities back at her (not Completely but its undeniable) #but like thats all for plot and character development reasons. she just needs more screen time #and i feel that way about some of the other fw companions as well #ok this little seyka ramble is the last youre getting from me #i like all of aloys companions and that includes seyka now #like i said in my response my problems lie more so with the execution of the writing and pacing. its not exactly a character problem #it speaks #i'll add tags in later when its safe #horizon #hfw

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

rotates legends zone dymanics in my mind

#the nemesis speaks #the legends zone #hi. sorry. apparently this is The AU of the Day. im going to bed soon promise #but god one thing i do really get obsessed with so fast is porting characters to another situation #and seeing how their relationships evolve #AND i love Bonding. so this is great. #anyway to nobody's surprise i AM envisioning akari as the protag and rei as counterpart #and i think being stuck as a child developmentally for a century of running and hiding and fighting across universes #has some uh. Fun Lasting Effects #and then she Forgot ever going through that and was also cut off from her family (her FAMILY-) #so it's. hard. the whole world feels Wrong. her emotions are too Big for her body to hold #she's still a child but it's like she's doing it wrong somehow. she isn't like anyone else #which is what directly relates to her running away from the home she gets put in bc they fundamentally CAN'T get it and also don't try #and she's so hurt and frustrated and she KNOWS she could be on her own anyway! one of the ways in which she's too grown-up #but that's hard too it's just hard in different ways #and then she finds cyllene and lav and ingo again and it's just like. a Click. somehow it's so much easier to Exist when they're there #....this is mostly abt akari i guess. oops. there's more abt the others but there is a theoretical tag limit on these things #AND ALSO I THINK SHE'S A DIVINE OR CHOSEN SORCERER. so that's another thing. magic she can't 100% control #that just burns through her when she gets emotional #ingo meanwhile has not felt An Emotion in five years. and laventon is off in lala land approximately 50% of the time. #and if you ask cyllene she'll say her only emotion is Shouting. but she's a fucking liar #but more on that another time!

[plantpest]

@ the anons in my ask telling me i'm a bully: have you ever wondered what the world could be like if you gained some basic reading comprehension?

#this whole shit is making me so fucking frustrated #like yah regarding one specific topic with one specific person i have very strong evidence to support A HUNCH (or like idea ig idk english) #nothing black or white #i'm trying to be very open about this but idek what more i could do at this point #i have literally tried to talk to k as this is (according to me) very heavy accusations but her immediate reaction was to tell me #she reported me for harassment which has me baffled #she could have denied it and that would've been fine but nope #she is digging herself into a very very deep hole for literally nothing if she's ''innocent'' #but all her actions is furthering the idea that she holds extremely vile opinions that i personally cannot support in any way #@ the people accusing me of being jealous of her skills: when have you seen me paint plants and/or in watercolours #@ the person accusing me of sailing on her popularity: i have a decent following of my own and i've been very open abt publicly calling out #people with what i believe to have very dangerous or ''just'' hurtful opinions for years before this whole k debacle #because i don't want MY blog or my circles to be safe for those people #and like i don't mind stirring up shit (even though my personal drama threshold is low) bc i'm a reactive person #so i play with open cards rather than acting like the bigger person and silently block and so on #idk y'all at this point i just wanna know what the fuck you want from me lmao #not plants #kategate #<- for blacklisting purposes

[gromlyn]

ben won’t be back until next sunday god (his mom) is cruel

#personal vent #i am going thru all 5 stages of grief all at once #she told us 5 days and NOW ITS 9???? #and I DO NOT trust her to not extend it further! she wanted to keep him till may 5! WE ARE ADULTS WITH A LIFE FOR CHRISTS SAKE #my kind of autism/cptsd hellbrain makes this literally the most enraging thing that could happen #you know those captive cheetahs who have emotional support dogs? that’s me and ben #I can survive on my own but I need time to emotionally prepare #which I did not get at all this time so as a result I’m a bit of a mess #and it’s frustrating because I know he’s coming back but I don’t believe it’ll be when his mom says so idk how okay I’m gonna be this week #like I feel like I’m being ridiculous but I also know I cannot help feeling this way given my history :/ #so beating myself up about feeling this way only hurts me #the best I can do is sit with the feelings and let them pass #abandonment trauma is so fun!

[applejarjar]

realizing I missed my window to have a very important and soul bearing conversation with my boss

#now that she's moved to a shared office and I'm stationed in a shared office my opportunities to have serious conversations are limited #I knew I should've had this talk sooner when she still had her own office and we could have a face to face discussion #I've just been avoiding it because I really hoped these issues could be resolved if I addressed them in a softer manner #but my attempts are just not getting results so I'm at my last ditch effort to express my concerns and get some help #I didn't go through all that goddamn management training just to forego the concepts and never apply the teachings #I'm tired of tiptoeing around the subject because I'm worried my boss won't hear me out or understand #it's just not my style to do this workplace politeness bs #she's said multiple times that we can be honest with her and it won't hurt her feelings #and I'm going to do just that #because god I'm getting burnt out and frustrated #I feel like there's some sort of fundamental misunderstanding I'm having which is not being resolved as things are now #I can't keep asking the same questions different ways and hoping for a different result each time #I just need to directly address what I think the problem is and hope I can get some actual help or feedback #I think my boss will be willing to listen I just don't know what I'll do if this still gets me nowhere #gonna have to figure out when I'd even be able to hold this kind of conversation #I'd like to do it today if possible while I'm really pondering everything and feel like I've got my thoughts in order #but this damn shared office makes that so difficult cause I ain't sayin all this to the world #at least not the whole work world #I'm sure they see I'm struggling but it's still something that is like to keep sort of to myself #especially because I'm acutely aware that my ramblings are very close to that of a madman #but it's just how I think and feel about these matters #sigh #work is hard

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

hihi!! idk if ur requests are open so ignore this if they aren't!

reader was cheated on so she goes to simons house for comfort. one thing leads to another and hes saying "i bet he couldn't fuck you like this" while absolutely destroying her

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.” Simon grunted as he placed a gentle kiss to your temple. “He’s such a damn fool for what he did.”

You honestly don’t know how you ended up here. One minute you found out your boyfriend of 3 years was cheating on you, and the next you were laying underneath your best friend of 10 years as he completely worshipped you.

You should’ve known better, your boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend now) had so many red flags you’d lost count, but you always tried to see the best in people, never truly realizing just how hurt you could end up because of it.

Simon Riley was the one person in your life who was always your rock, always was there for you, always cared for you when nobody else bothered to. He was the only person you wanted to comfort you tonight.

He welcomed you with open arms like he always did, his hugs able to cure any emotion or ailment you may have. You’d cried your eyes out to him, let out all your frustrations into his chest as he held you close.

You never, never expected to end up kissing him, let alone finding yourself in his bed, being utterly ruined by him later that night. It was everything you never knew you hoped for. After the many years you’d been friends with him, you finally realized that he was the one you’d always wanted to be with.

“I don’t deserve you, Simon. You’re too good for me.” You cried out, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix after a particular rough jut of his hips. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“You’ve got that backwards, love.” A soft chuckle escaped his lips before he slotted them against yours. His kiss was gentle, but so full of emotion it had your heart swelling. “I’ve wanted you to be mine since the day I laid eyes on you. I’m a patient man, sweet girl.”

You’d never been fucked like this before, never been worshipped like this. Your body felt weightless, a warm heat spreading throughout your body as Simon’s cock rubbed against your slick walls.

A guttural moan escaped your lips as he increased his pace, the sound of slapping skin filling the room. You felt your high rapidly approaching, as your toes started to curl, and your eyes fluttered shut. He was so fucking good at this.

“Did he make you feel this good, sweetheart?” Simon groaned, his breath fanning over your ear. “I bet he couldn’t fuck you like this, could he?”

You weakly shook your head, your mouth falling open slightly as Simon nipped at your earlobe, his thick length sliding against your walls at a frenzied pace. You’d never felt this full before, this stuffed. It felt like his cock was made just for you.

“That’s what I thought.” He purred, moving to capture your lips in his once more. His tongue darted out, exploring each and every inch of your mouth, committing your taste to memory. “Being so good for me. Can’t believe this is what I’ve been fuckin’ missing out on.”

“Simon.” You chanted, your nails digging crescents into the toned skin of his back. Soft moans and sounds of slapping skin deliciously filling the air as both of you lost yourselves in one another.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Say my name. Let me know how good I’m making you feel.” Simon cooed, his hands lacing with your own above your head as his cock continued to slide in and out of you at a brutal pace. “You are so incredible, love. I should’ve made you mine a long fuckin’ time ago.”

Tears pricked in the corners of your eyes, every emotion you were feeling bubbling to the surface. You let your eyes flutter open, your heart skipping a beat as you found Simon looking down at you with complete and utter adoration.

Any self consciousness or self loathing thoughts you may have had before being in your best friend’s arms suddenly vanished, and were now left feeling completely and utterly cherished.

You slipped your hands from Simon’s, and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him impossibly close to you. You never wanted this moment to end. “I’m yours, Simon.”

“That’s right, love. All fuckin’ mine now. I am going to ruin you for any other man, love. Gonna treat you like the princess you are.”

And he fucking did.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley imagine #cod imagine #mw2 imagine #ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #female reader

[tacticaldiary]

A Fighting Chance

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

"When was the last time you kissed me and meant it?" Her voice drops into something akin to defeat.

And Simon...Simon feels like the rug's been pulled from under his feet.

Part 2, Masterlist,

"What're those?"

"Papers."

Ghost pauses halfway through opening the document, glancing up at the curtness of her voice. "Papers? She doesn't meet his eyes, gaze fixed on the table of the little booth they're sitting in.

The ice in her drink is long gone, watering down her coffee into something that tastes as bitter as her heart.

It had taken months for her to finally make this decision. Days of talking with her lawyer, crying alone at night and coming to the gruelling acceptance that this was for the best. It was best for both of them.

There's not many things that unsettle Simon. He's had blood stain his hands; his own, his comrades, and his enemies. Had almost any injury you could think of marring his skin, been prodded and ripped into, been the one on the opposite end of the knife.

But as he slides out the documents, turns them over, Simon's never felt more apprehensive.

He stills, reading the first few lines, clenching his jaw. "What is this?"

"I want a divorce."

And something in him crumbles at her defeated tone. Like she's already decided. Like he doesn't even have a chance to ask why or talk it through.

"No." He says tightly, putting them down and crossing his arms.

Her gaze shoots to his. "You can't just say that."

"I did. I won't sign them."

"I want this." She argues, and Simon swallows back the lump in his throat at how utterly tired she looks.

"I don't."

She's the light of his life, the one good, untouched piece of joy he gets to see. Something other than the bloodshed and violence he lives in.

"Simon," She says, shoulders sagging forward. "I can't do this anymore."

"This isn't the solution, love." He feels like his skin is crawling, the beginnings of unfamiliar panic clawing at his chest when she doesn't react to the pet name.

Doesn't smile, doesn't flush that beautiful red, doesn't squirm.

When she doesn't respond again, tight-lipped and clammed up and so determined to not look at him, he asks the question burning a hole through his tongue.

"Why?"

Deep down he knows. Knew this was coming but that part of him is buried under the thudding of his heart, and the rush of blood in his ears. Everything feels deathly still and moving too fast at the same time.

"Why?" She repeats, something in her stirring at the question. Her brow furrows and she switches from a cautious indifference to disbelief and frustration quicker than Simon can process. "Are you serious?" She huffs out an incredulous laugh. "You're away for months at a time and I'm supposed to what? Wait for you at our doorstep and wag my tail all happy when you finally come back to me?" Her grip tightens on her drink.

"Even when you are home, it's never about us. Never about me and you. You lock yourself in your study with your work, don't talk to me unless you come out for dinner or lunch. When was the last time we went out?" She demands. "When was the last time we went on a date? The last time we slept at the same time in the same bed?"

Simon clenches his jaw but says nothing, at a loss for words. It only encourages her to keep going, spewing thoughts that have been boiling over for the past few years.

"You barely look at me when we're home, I had to drag you out of the house to get here! You left halfway through our anniversary dinner last year because work called you in. Sometimes...sometimes I feel like you're only with me because it's easier than leaving and starting over, and that fucking hurts. It hurts when you can't bear to spend five minutes with me away from work. I've been telling you this for ages but you just...you don't listen to me." She leans forward, drink completely forgotten and hits the final nail in the coffin.

"When was the last time you kissed me and meant it?" Her voice drops into something akin to defeat.

And Simon...Simon feels like the rug's been pulled from under his feet.

"I never even know if you're coming home to me." Her voice cracks, and she hugs her middle, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "So yes, Simon, I want to separate. I'm not happy, not like I was when I met you." A sheen of tears she refuses to let fall.

"You can focus on work like you love to, and I can...I can move on."

It was so good when they started out. She found him endearing, dry humour and brooding and all. It was special, those first few years, and she'll always care about him but this...this waiting, this hurting, laying in bed at night alone and cold and crying...it wasn't right. It wasn't what she wanted and she wouldn't force Simon to want it when he clearly didn't want to.

"Fucking hell, I love you." Simon says quickly, stumbling over what to say. He reaches out for her hand on the table, but she pulls it away before he can grab it. It stings more than he can convey, makes the reality crashes down onto him.

He's about to lose her.

Because he couldn't fucking bear to pull himself out of being 'Ghost'.

It was always a rough couple of weeks during his leave. The adjustment to civilian life was a slow one for him, but that's not really an excuse at all.

"I don't think you do."

Simon blinks at her like she's slapped him. "You...you don't think so?" He repeats, running a hand through his hair. She nods, one nod, quick and so sure that it makes his chest ache.

Fuck. He's absolutely messed up.

"Everything's finalised on my end." She says. "You just need to sign them." Her voice is soft, almost like she's coaxing him.

If there's one thing he knows, it's that he's not touching those fucking papers. He's not losing someone he loves again.

"I'll take time off." He says, the intensity of his gaze makes a shiver run down her spine. "We can work through it, yeah? You can't spring this on me and not give me a chance to protest."

She shakes her head, "You're only taking time off because I'm upset." She tries to explain. "What do you think is going to happen? We spend a month together doing what we used to, and when everything's a little more stable you leave again. Distance yourself. Shut me out. Then we're back to square one."

"Won't happen." He says like he hasn't been doing it for the past few years already. "You...I can't lose you, darling." He leans forward. "Let me make it better. Give me a few months-"

"Simon-"

"A week."

"A week?" Her eyes widen. "A week to...what, prove that you'll change?"

"One week."

She worries her lip between her teeth, considering. One week wasn't a long time, but hope was dangerous in a situation like this.

"I'm not letting you go over something like this." Simon says. "I can't."

"This isn't about you." She crosses her arms. "You really think you can turn just...reverse the past few years in a week?" Maybe it's foolish of her to want him to say yes, to fight for her and realise that she's been hurting, but goddamn doesn't a small part of her scream at him to do it anyway.

"Not trying to reverse it." He folds his arms, and she can see the tense line of his shoulders as he takes in the situation, gears turning in his head as he plans how he's going to work his way out of a situation so precious and daunting as this.

Part of him didn't think it would ever come to this. Yes, he can be cold and aloof but Simon thought she knew that he loved her through it all. No matter what.

When was the last time you kissed me and meant it?

Fuck if that doesn't tear through his chest more painfully than any caliber bullet ever could.

He takes her in quietly for a moment.

The woman he fell in love with. The person that gave him a reason to keep going, a motive to feel anything other than the cold efficientness of loading a gun and firing. Soft touches and warm smiles, something so at odds with the rough life he's used to.

Sitting there in front of him, she looks more beautiful than he remembers, and it only proves to make his stomach sink like a stone at the notion of seeding any doubt about his feelings in her heart.

A right fucking bastard he was for it.

"I'm sorry." He breathes out, much softer than the gruff voice he's been using with her. "I'll do better. Just give me a chance, yeah?"

For one horrible moment, Simon thinks she'll decline. That she'll slide over the papers again and demand he sign them.

But she considers his words for a moment before nodding once.

And it's all he needs.

A fighting chance.

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Part 2

(11/10/2023)

#ghost cod #cod mw ghost #ghost call of duty #ghost modern warfare #ghost mw2 #ghost simon riley #ghost x reader #cod ghost #mw2 ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #call of duty modern warfare 2 #modern warfare x reader #angst #x reader #x y/n #fluff #simon riley #simon riley fluff #simon riley imagine #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare ii #modern warfare #cod modern warfare #modern warfare 2 #modern warfare ii

[pathologicalreid]

don't say nothing | S.R.

gemini part two

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut (18+ mdni) content warnings: softdom!spencer, "good girl" (you can tear it out of my cold dead hands), alcohol, fwb, oral fixation, consent, idiots in love, praise kink, gun violence, jealous spencer? unprotected pinv sex, word count: 3.73k a/n: posting smut twice in a row who the fuck am i?? anyways, everyone's favorite idiots in love are back. i used the song don't say nothing by del water gap to provide me with inspiration.

part one

please say something, cause I've been growing lonesomer each day

Penelope threw her arms up in frustration as you walked through the front door of O’Keefe’s, “I was beginning to think you were ditching us.” She got up from the booth, letting you slide in so that you were next to the wall – across the table from Spencer.

Things with him were as awkward as ever. The two of you were like a rubber band getting stretched, every time the tension became too much, you snapped and ended up in bed together - or in the academy showers, but that was just the one time. Looking at him now, the rubber band felt taut.

“I took the liberty of getting you this,” Garcia announced, a broad smile on her face as she pushed the glass toward you.

Raising your eyebrows, you eyed the beverage suspiciously before taking a tentative sip. An undetermined liquor slid down your throat as you tried to hide the distaste from your expression. Penelope had a taste for sweet, sugary drinks, it was the main reason she usually ended up puking first at girls’ night.

Spencer noted the look on your face, discreetly sliding his glass of water toward you. Thank you, you mouthed to him, earning a slight smile in return. “So, where’s this friend of a friend that you’re trying to set Y/N up with?” Luke asked, standing at the open end of the table.

In your periphery, you saw the smile immediately drop off Spencer’s face. Feeling his eyes on you, you shifted on the supple leather of the booth and looked over at Penelope.

“He said he’d show up later,” she said, lifting her own glass to her lips and sipping out of the straw.

That was enough for you to know that it would never work between the two of you. You needed someone who was punctual. Someone who wouldn’t ghost you at the last moment. Huffing, you sat back in the seat, wondering how long you’d have to stay out before it was socially acceptable to go home.

You took about thirty minutes before asking your teammates to let you out of the booth under the guise of needing fresh air. Luke asked if you wanted to move out to the patio, but you waved him off before walking out the front door.

The spring air kissed your skin as you avoided pedestrians until you made it to the outer wall of the bar, leaning against the cool bricks and sighing.

“Are you alright?” Spencer asked, walking out of the bar, and approaching you.

Avoiding eye contact, you watched people’s shoes as they walked by – heels, sneakers, sandals. “I’m fine, Spence,” you answered simply as your heart begged you to meet his hazel eyes.

You closed your eyes as he reached out, gingerly placing his hand flat on your ribcage. “You had a close call last week,” he said matter-of-factly, referring to a shot you had taken to the chest while on a case last week.

Shrugging, you opened your eyes again, “I was wearing my vest, barely even hurts anymore.” Spencer had been on sabbatical at the time, but he still came to visit you during your overnight stay in the hospital. You were left with a gnarly bruise to the ribs, and Emily had benched you for two weeks.

Tired of your refusal to meet his eyes, Spencer hooked a finger beneath your chin, lifting it until you could make out the gold of his eyes. He looked through the window of the bar, checking for something before he tugged you further from the glass. You didn’t have the time to ask him what he was looking for before his lips were on yours in the alleyway.

Spencer Reid had a habit of kissing you like you were a last meal, with open, messy kisses that made your lovelorn chest ache.

“Garcia’s friend didn’t show up?” He asked, pulling away from you just enough to get the words out.

Shaking your head, you reached up a hand and threaded your fingers through his hair, “Nope.” You cocked your head to the side as the two of you fell into your familiar pattern, “I’m glad I didn’t agree to the date. Could’ve been a fatal blow to my self-esteem,” you told him while thinking of a good way to navigate your current situation.

He also had a habit of making your mind go blank when his lips were on you, and you almost lost it when he groaned against your mouth, “His loss.”

Your breath hitched when he used his knee to part your legs, placing an agonizing pressure on your sex as you resisted the urge to grind on his thigh.

“Hey, Y/N?” He murmured in your ear before pressing gentle kisses on the side of your throat.

Humming, you bit your lip, “Yeah?”

Detaching his lips from the soft skin of your neck, Spencer pulled away to look at you, “Thank you for not agreeing to the date.”

Your body slouched against the wall, “I can’t do this again,” you confessed. The words slipped out of your mouth too easily for it to be a lie, even if you never meant for them to come out.

Spencer took a step back, removing himself from you entirely, “What do you mean?” He asked, watching as you frantically smoothed down the front of your dress and caught your breath.

“Why do I keep doing this to myself?” You muttered helplessly, once again averting your eyes from the man standing in front of you. Taking a shaky breath, your heart pounded so violently in your chest that you thought it might burst.

Catching out at you, he firmly placed his hands on either side of your waist before you could walk away from him. “Baby, what are you talking about?” He asked you urgently.

There it was again, baby. It was like a key in a lock, causing everything to pour out of you. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Isn’t that funny? You’re there, haunting my every move, and none of me occupies even a fragment of your mind.”

Recognition flashed in his eyes as he processed what you were saying to him, “It’s me?” He said, hazel eyes flickering over your face.

“Of course, it’s you, Spencer,” you said exasperatedly, afraid of years of longing coming out in a random alleyway in the district. Tears pricked at your eyes as you silently pleaded for him to say something.

Bewilderment was pasted on his face as he opened his mouth to speak, shut it, and then opened it again. “The person. Your one person that you’d say yes to. I’m your one.” He clarified, trying to get a hold on the situation.

Nodding miserably, you reached up and placed your hand over your heart as if you could staunch your bleeding heart, “You’re my one, and every time we’re together, you’re thinking about someone else.” It wasn’t an accusation; you knew he had feelings for someone else. He had told you just as much at Dave and Krystall’s wedding. Two months ago. Wiping underneath your eyes, you gathered whatever was left of your dignity and walked away from the situation.

As you walked back to your car, you were vaguely aware of people staring at you. You knew that you had played just as big of a role in your own destruction as Spencer had, maybe even more. You never should’ve had sex at the wedding, but you had sought comfort in one another.

Fishing around in your purse, you pulled your keys out, only for them to be scooped from your hands. “Hey!” You shouted in frustration, gaining the attention of passersby as they wondered whether or not they needed to call 911 or stay out of a lover’s quarrel. Shooting daggers at Spencer, you refrained from stomping your foot in frustration lest you look like a petulant child. “Give me my keys, Spencer,” you insisted, holding your hand out impatiently.

“Not until you talk to me,” he responded. He was out of breath, meaning he had run to catch up with you – a feat in and of itself.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, “There’s nothing left to talk about, Spencer.”

He took a moment to catch his breath before looking around, “There is everything to talk about. I have to talk to you.”

Weighing your options, you reached out for your car keys, which he let you take, and unlocked the car. “Get in,” you offered halfheartedly, wiping your cheeks before getting into the driver’s seat.

Silently, you started the drive, taking a right onto the next street. “This isn’t the way to your apartment,” Spencer observed anxiously.

You shook your head as you turned on your turn signal to merge onto the highway, “No, it’s the way to yours.”

Residences had been off-limits during your illicit affair, but each member of the BAU had the ability to get to each other’s homes. It was more of a safety concern than anything else. Since you’d never been to Spencer’s apartment before, you needed him to guide you through the lobby and up the stairs. To your chagrin, he did that by taking your hand in his and having you follow him.

Looking around once he unlocked the door, the first thing you noticed was that the space was so… Spencer. From the green walls to the stained-glass window to the piles of books, it all just seemed so fitting for him. “Sit,” he said with an authoritative tone as he made his way back to the kitchen, returning with two glasses of water.

“What do you want to say, Reid?” You said, leaning back in an armchair as you looked over at him, taking calculated breaths.

Disappointment filled his eyes, “Don’t call me that.” There was something in his eyes that resembled fear, but you couldn’t quite place the reason.

Narrowing your gaze, you tilted your head to the side and feigned ignorance, “Everyone calls you that.” You challenged, even though you supposed it wasn’t true.

“You don’t,” he responded simply. It was true, over the years you had never called him Reid. Dr. Reid and Spencer Reid, yes, but never just Reid. To you, he had always been Spencer or Spence. “When you do it, it feels so… impersonal. Detached.”

You blinked, not expecting him to have said that. Your relationship with Reid had always been personal. From back when you were just friends to whatever miscellany of emotions you had now. “I didn’t mean for it to be,” you admitted defeatedly, fiddling with the buttons on your cardigan. Although maybe you had intended to detach yourself from the situation by referring to him with a name that felt less personal.

In your periphery, you saw him looking dejectedly at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Will you please look at me?”

Swallowing thickly, you closed your eyes, “I can’t.” Your voice was no more than a whisper as you admitted the truth, one look in his eyes, and you’d break your heart even worse.

“At first, I thought it was easier for me to just say I was interested in someone else because I was under the impression that you were interested in another man,” Spencer told you candidly. “My idea was that I could keep you close to me until you felt ready to move on, and that would just have to be enough.”

Staring blankly ahead of you, you reached out to grab your water from the coffee table, taking small sips as you struggled to digest what he was saying to you.

You shut your eyes tightly at the vulnerability in the room, opening them to find Spencer knelt in front of you. “What I didn’t realize was that a fraction of you would never be enough, not for me.”

Burying your face in your hands, you avoided his eyes as the gravity of his admission weighed down your shoulders. “Spence,” you begged. He needed to stop. He was toeing the point of no return.

“I am so devastatingly in love with you,” he admitted. “I didn’t know how deeply it ran until the wedding, but I just couldn’t get myself to let you go.”

Spencer pried your hands off of your face, revealing teary eyes. You let your body slide off the chair until you knelt in front of him, knee to knee. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his.

Quickly, he wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling your body flush against his, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you answered, surprised at how easily the words rolled off of your tongue. Taking your time, you slung one arm over his shoulder, reaching the other up so you could put your hand in his hair. You relished in his groan as you tugged lightly at the strands.

You couldn’t help the whine that passed through your lips as he pulled away from you. He got to his feet before helping you up, and once you were standing, his lips were back on yours.

Leading you to what you assumed was his bedroom, you felt your blood heat up as he pushed your cardigan off of your shoulders. As you reached up to undo the buttons on his shirt, you grinned against his lips.

Sat on the edge of his bed, you parted your knees and pulled his shirt from where it was tucked into his pants before fumbling with his belt buckle. Disconnecting your lips so that you could look at what you were doing, he took the opportunity to duck his head and take your earlobe between his teeth. As he nipped at the soft skin, goosebumps spread where you were bare, leaving you in need of more. More of him.

Once you got his belt undone, you made quick work of the button and zipper on his slacks, sliding them down over his hips and ass while his hands made their way up your dress. “Spence,” you said breathlessly, trying to push his pants further down. Understanding your plea, he stepped out of them entirely, kicking them to the side.

Spencer drew away from you just enough to tug your dress off of your body, tossing it off to the side and gently guiding you so that your back was flat against the mattress. You watched in anticipation as he pulled his t-shirt off, the movement allowing for the tip of his cock to peek over the elastic of his boxers. “You’re so pretty,” he muttered, the softness of the words taking you by surprise, “Always so pretty for me, baby.” He gently traced his finger over your bruise as a shadow of worry crossed his features, but it was gone as quickly as it showed up.

His words spurred you on to pull at his underwear, trying to take them off, but you simply didn’t have the arm span to do it on your own. “I wanna touch you,” you confessed, “Can I touch you?”

“I need to be in you,” Spencer answered, pulling his boxers off before kneeling in front of you, eyes widening when your legs fell open. Expertly, he hooked his fingers in the sides of your underwear, dragging them off in one swift motion and leaving the both of you completely bare.

Your mouth parted when his hand reached your wet heat and two fingers entered you tantalizingly slowly. “I thought- ah- no touching,” you complained. It was a halfhearted complaint because really, there was nothing to be bothered by.  

Reaching down, your hand grabbed his wrist, trying to slow his ministrations. “You’re so responsive for me,” he murmured, continuing to move his fingers in and out of you and watching in fascination as your hips bucked off of the mattress involuntarily.

“Fuck,” You said, screwing your eyes shut as that all too familiar knot started to form in your lower belly. “Spence, baby- I’ll…” A low whine escaped your throat as he withdrew his fingers from your core. “Spencer,” you said in frustration, opening your eyes to see him inspecting your slick that had been left on his fingers.

Like a rehearsed routine, he placed his hand in front of your face, prompting you to incline your head forward and wrap your lips around his index and middle finger. As you swirled your tongue around his fingers, he watched you with an undying interest. “Good girl,” he muttered, the praise causing your sensitive cunt to clench around nothing.

Taking his hand back, you looked down as he used his now free hand to line his cock up with your entrance. Laying one of your hands at the side of your head, he used his other hand to intertwine your fingers before he pushed into you. Instead of tossing your head back like you normally would, you looked up at him, watching as he hilted himself in you. “Spencer,” you whispered.

“Are you alright?” He asked, checking in with you as he placed his free hand on the other side of your head.

You nodded quickly, “It just feels different this time.” Your heart clenched at your own admission. You weren’t using each other as an escape anymore.

Spencer hummed in understanding, leaning down and pressing a tender kiss to your lips. “I love you,” he whispered, “I love you so much.”

Your breath hitched as he tentatively thrust in you like he was testing the waters. “I love you,” you responded in kind, your voice higher than usual.

The response was enough encouragement for Spencer to keep going, he tucked his face in the crook of your neck, gently biting the skin as he set the pace. Small gasps escaped your throat every time his hips met yours.

As usual, your sounds spurred him on, seemingly trying to make you as vocal as possible, he used one hand to reach up and grope your breast. While his fingers pinched at your nipple, you wrapped your legs around his torso, locking your ankles together behind him. He lifted his head, moving his lips against yours in hurried, messy kisses that only aided the knot building in your stomach.

You didn’t have the capacity to warn him before you came undone beneath him, your orgasm coming over you as you whined into his mouth. Your walls clenched around him so tightly that Spencer had a hard time keeping his pace before it became too much.

Sighing contentedly as he filled you, you ran your hands down his back as he continued working through both of your orgasms. You whimpered as he continued fucking his cum into your oversensitive hole until your head went fuzzy, “Spence.”

He stuttered to a stop, staying inside of you for just a beat under he pulled out, causing you to flinch as you were left empty. “Are you alright?” He asked, still breathing heavily – not that you were faring much better.

Nodding, you blinked rapidly as your lungs tried to catch up with the rest of you, “I’m perfect,” you answered dazedly.

Spencer smiled at you, “You are. Perfect, that is.” He sat next to you on the bed, placing a hand on your bare hip, affectionately dragging his fingers over the skin. “You need to go pee,” he said suddenly, furrowing his brows at you.

You couldn’t help it as you erupted in a fit of giggles, resulting in an adorably confused look from Spencer. “Sorry, it’s just you telling me that I need to go pee – it’s funny,” you told him, biting your lip to muffle your laugh.

“Have you not been peeing after sex?” He was clearly appalled as if the idea of you not peeing after sex was abhorrent to him.

Rolling your eyes, you propped yourself up on your elbows, “Of course, I pee after sex, Dr. Reid,” you put extra emphasis on his honorific. “And I will pee just as soon as I’m sure my legs aren’t going to give out of me when I stand up,” you explained to him, reaching out and placing a hand on his knee.

He looked at you seriously, “You know, there are some studies that say the sooner after sex you urinate the less likely you are to contract a UTI.”

“Oh my god,” you said, “Don’t say the word urinate at me while I’m naked in your bed.” You complained, clambering up and making sure you were steady before you walked to the ensuite.

Later on, you were laying in bed next to Spencer, your head was resting on his chest while he kept you tucked into his side. You flinched as a phone started ringing, you sat up and looked around for your phone. Please don’t be a case, you silently hoped as you searched the sheets for your phone.

Once you finally grabbed it, you saw Penelope’s contact flashing across the screen. Swiping the screen, you put the phone up to your ear, hearing loud music on the other end of the call. “Hey, Penny,” you said, smiling as Spencer reached out and pulled you back into him.

You adjusted your t-shirt over your skin, having made Spencer go out to your car for your go-bag so that you could have clean clothes to sleep in. He slipped his hand under the cotton of your shirt, placing his hand flat on your bare skin. You tried to greet Penelope again when she doesn’t respond.

“Hey!” Her voice chimed in through the speaker, “Where’d you go? Jason just got here!”

Frowning, you pulled your phone away and looked at the time – just past eleven o’clock. You sighed, letting your body meld into Spencer’s, “Tell him that someday he’ll find a girl with equally as atrocious time management skills as him.”

You heard some rambling on the other side of the call, and wondered how many members of the BAU made it out this late. “Okay, but where are you?”

Humming, you peered up at Spencer who had, unsurprisingly, pulled out a book to read before bed. “I’m right where I need to be,” you told her earnestly, wondering if she could hear your voice's smile as Spencer kissed your forehead softly.

tagged, if you asked for a part two: @donttrustlove @jumpingjackalope @bippityboppityboob1tch @makingbloodbaths1 @sammyreidslut

@evvy96 @mus3y @nnab @basicallynotbreathing @hell0kitty11

@tatilolz @radioactiveinvisible @lamentis-10 @k-corbett @discotitsposts

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds oneshot #written by margot #mdni #margot after hours #softdom!spencer #criminal minds angst #spencer reid angst

[cinnamon-galaxies]

Hi! I saw that your request box was open. Could I request a Alastor x fem!reader who is a mornigstar, charlie's older sister and she is engaged with Alastor. In episode 5, Dad beat Dad, I thought their relationship is kept secret and was revealed later on shocking lucifer and their friends

Dad beat Fiancé beat Dad

Pairings: Alastor x Fem!Reader / Alastor x Morningstar!Reader

Tags: hurt/comfort, (a little bit of) fluff, secret relationship/engagement, Alastor vs Lucifer, Morningstar!Reader, Fem!Reader

Warnings: language/swearing, kiss, argument/bickering, reader is Charlie’s older sister, English is not my first language!

Summary: You are Charlie's older sister and secretly engaged to Alastor. When your sister invites your father to the hotel to ask for his help with her rehabilitation program, you look forward to his arrival. However, things take a turn when tensions escalate between your father and your fiancé, leading to heated bickering. Overcome with frustration, you finally lash out and accidentally reveal your engagement to the King of Hell and the hotel's residents.

Wordcount: 5.4k

A/N: This one turned out so long! I really hope you like it and that the story meets your expectations! English is not my first language so I want to apologize for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. I really tried my best to make as few mistakes as possible!

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“Well, I’m actually running a hotel to rehabilitate sinners. Maybe you saw our commercial,” you heard your younger sister speak into the telephone, releasing a nervous chuckle here and there. Then a sigh escaped her lips. “Listen, dad, I’ve got kind of a big ask…”   You stood a few feet away and stared at her, unsure what to think of this whole idea. Was it really that smart to ask your father to organize another meeting with heaven? The last one already didn’t end well. But what other choice was left for you? Still, it released a weird feeling inside your guts, now that you watched Charlie calling your dad, since your and your sister’s relationships with him were kind of… special. Your father tended to distance himself from the both of you for the most time, bathing in his own emotional dilemma and not even trying to do anything about it. Thus neglecting the both of you. Well, at least he called your sister five months ago regarding that meeting with Adam in heaven’s local embassy. But when it comes to you it’s been even longer since you’ve talked. Maybe a year? Or even longer. You didn’t actually know and also some part within you didn’t even want to. But what you knew is that you missed him. Although, in contradiction, you weren’t really fond of him at the moment. It’s not that you didn’t love him. He was your father, regardless, and you both shared a lot of wholesome and fun memories. But since your mother had left him seven years ago, things had turned out strange and you didn’t really approve of his weird-ass behavior towards you and your sister. Still, you hoped your father would agree to help you out. Maybe, just maybe, there was a probability that you saw him again. You had so much to tell him. Your life has changed a lot since you started supporting your sister in the hotel. And even before, when you met Alastor…

Lost in your thoughts you missed parts of the phone call and as your consciousness returned to reality, you saw your sister taking the phone down and ending the call. Curious about the outcome you cocked your head. “What did he say?”

   “Well,” Charlie stared at an empty space for a brief moment, “it seems that dad will be coming over.”

   Your mouth fell agape and your eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, really?” you asked her and a huge smile grew on your face. “That’s awesome! When?”

   Charlie proudly straightened her back and stemmed her hands into her hips. “We have an hour until he gets here.”

   You turned around to face the other residents who sat on the couch and raised your voice, “Okay people. Dad’s on his way, so we’re getting this place presentable and we are all going to make an amazing impression. Let’s go!”

   That’s when Vaggie spoke up, “That’s a great idea! Husker, Angel and I will go get some decorations for the lobby,” her eyes wandered down to Niffty, “Niffty, you and Sir Pentious will bake some cookies so we have something to eat when it’s time for coffee.”

   Nifty nodded exaggeratedly, almost vibrating from that force she put into her motion. She instantly grabbed Sir Pentious’s hand and dragged him down the hallway towards the kitchen. When Husker, Angel and Vaggie went to get the decorations from the storage room you and Charlie were left alone. 

   “Are you as excited as I am?” You asked her with a moving voice and examined your sister expectantly. It was no secret that Charlie took that whole situation with your father a bit differently from you. While you almost imploded waiting to get a chance to meet him again, your sister was more reserved and kept herself a bit more distant from him. Even though she was the one your father seemed to favor when it came to dealing with the conflict with heaven. It didn’t matter that you were the older daughter… 

   “Ahm… I don’t know,” Charlie responded nervously stroking her neck, “I mean, yes, I am. But at the same time…” She hesitated and you put your hand on her shoulder.

   “Don’t worry, sis. I can understand,” you reassured her with a calm voice and smiled at her with genuine eyes. You could feel her shoulders relax under your supporting gesture.

   “Thank you,” she responded and returned your smile. “It’s just… You know, since he and mom split, I often don’t feel like his daughter anymore. Yet he sounded very excited to come over.”

   You took a deep breath and removed your hand from her shoulder. “We’ll see how things are going when he arrives.”

   Charlie chuckled. “Well, I think you should go and inform Alastor about our special guest,” she requested, raising her eyebrows in concern. Charlie was the only person at the hotel who knew about your secret relationship with him. When you decided to knock on the door to propose your support to your sister, you and Alastor were already dating. In fact, you were the one who dragged him here because – regardless of his fearful and sketchy reputation – you knew he’d make a great hotelier and protector for the residents during future exterminations. But you both didn’t introduce yourselves as a couple right away. Instead, you found common ground in letting your sister know but keeping it hidden from the other residents. There were several reasons you both had decided against making your relationship public: Alastor’s reputation as the Radio Demon, yours as Lucifer’s oldest daughter, the gossip, the media… These and many more were all things you didn’t want to deal with. Especially since Alastor was a very private person who despised showing affection outside his private space and you, as a person who had no desire to brag about your partner, were totally fine with it. What happened in private chambers stayed in private chambers. That was your agreement, and if you let your friends know about your relationship, there would be too much risk that it would eventually become public. The only other person next to Charlie, and outside the hotel, who knew about your and Alastor’s connection, was his decades-long friend Rosie.

Repeating your sister's request in your head you nodded in agreement. It was the best to prepare Alastor. Even though an hour alone wouldn’t be long enough for him to digest the fact that he was about to meet your father. “Oh, I think he’ll be excited about the news,” you responded with a sarcastic tone and couldn’t help but release a malicious laugh. Oh, how much he will hate this...

You heard Charlie laughing along and shaking her head in amusement. But as quickly as the amusement appeared, it disappeared as you continued to think about the fact that Alastor was actually going to meet your father. With a deep breath you dropped your smile and lowered your voice. “Do you think it would be a good idea to tell dad about Alastor and me?”

   “Ahm…” Charlie seemed to think about it more carefully before commenting, “I actually don’t know… I wish I could tell you but that’s something you and Alastor have to decide. First of all, I’d wait until after they had their first impressions of each other. Then… maybe… introduce him to the truth? I mean, if you and Alastor plan to stay together, what I hope – I mean… It’s obvious, why else would you date if it isn’t for staying together?” She chuckled at how much she was lost in her words and cleaned her throat. “I’m sorry. What I mean to say is that it would be beneficial for your shared future if you let dad know. At least at some point in the future.”

   You nodded in understanding and gifted her a slight smile. “Thank you. Maybe I’ll talk to him about this later. First of all, I need to prepare him for meeting his soon-to-be father in law.” You laughed and excused yourself before you left the lobby and went upstairs.

   When you arrived at Alastor’s radio station you knocked on the door.

   “You may come in!” you heard Alastor’s dulled voice through the door and opened it. When you entered the radio station you immediately saw him sitting at his desk, leaning over some papers and holding a pen in his hand. When you closed the door, he placed the pen to the side and turned to look at you.

   “Why hello, darling,” he greeted you, his signature smile on his face but his red eyes revealing a neutral expression. “What brings you here?”

   “Well...” You took a deep breath and strolled towards him with your hands folded behind your back and your lips pressed to your teeth. “I’ve got some news for you that you’ll probably hate.”

   “Oh?” he responded curiously and tilted his head to the side. His red hair swayed with the movement.

   You arrived at his desk and leaned against the tabletop, your front mostly faced towards him. You tilted your head in the same direction as he did and couldn’t manage to suppress an amused smile. “My dad will be here in less than an hour,” you said with a cocky voice and watched Alastors expression shift as his lips curled up around his smile and his eyes immediately twitched. An awkward silence fell over the room before he broke it with a snippy tone, “You’re right. I hate that news.” His neck returned to a straight and more natural position and you chuckled.

   “Vaggie’s the one to blame. She came up with the idea that Charlie should call him to ask for help because she could no longer bear seeing my sister ripping her hair out in despair over her missing rehabilitation success,” you explained and a growl escaped Alastor’s throat. He already didn't like Vaggie and now he probably liked her even less.

   “Splendid,” he said without enthusiasm and stood up from his chair, grabbing his microphone cane and leaning on it. Now taller than you, you had to tilt your head back to be able to look him in the eyes. “How about I excuse myself and disappear for another set of seven years?”

   “Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,” you responded, raised your index finger and waved it in front of him. “You will stand your ground and behave. It’s just my dad.”

   “He’s the king of hell, darling.”

   “And that's why you'll be going down there and prove to him that you're a worthy partner for his princess daughter.”

   He gritted his teeth and your smile widened as you nonchalantly brushed the wrinkles out of his coat.

   “Are you questioning my abilities, darling?” He asked, placing one of his hands on top of yours, thus stopping your movements and squeezing it.

   You felt your cheeks blush at his affectionate action and stepped closer to him, your body now close enough that it almost touched his. You could feel the warmth radiating off him and tilted your head slightly, your eyes still locked with his. “No, I’m not. And that’s exactly why I want you to do as I said.”

   “Oh, is her dear royal highness misusing her mightiness to give me an order?” he asked with a low and unusually soft voice and a shiver ran down your spine. Oh, how you loved it when he became flirty. His charm was able to captivate you instantly, weakening your legs and waking those tingling butterflies in your stomach. He removed your hands from his coat and pulled you closer to him. Your body now touching his, you felt the urge to rest your head into the crook of his neck but resisted.

   “She indeed is. And you better behave, peasant,” you teased him back and Alastor narrowed his eyes at you degrading him like this.

   He let go of one of your hands and instead cupped your cheek before using his fingers to lift your chin up. “You seem to forget that I’m your finacé”, he purred, leaning in closer until only a few inches separated your noses from touching. His hot breath stroked your face and you could’ve sworn that his eyes had turned to a darker hue.

   Without further hesitation he pulled you into a tender kiss. His lips brushed over yours and you leaned in closer, succumbing yourself completely to him. Your free hand roamed up and slid through his hair, pressing his face closer to yours. After a few moments of togetherness both of you let go of each other.

   “We should return to the foyer. My dad can arrive any minute,” you said and stroked his cheek before heading towards the door. You could hear Alastor sigh behind you.

   “Just as a reminder: I can’t promise you things will go well.”

   You rolled your eyes as you left the radio station together. “At least try.”

   After you entered the foyer most preparations were already done and it didn’t take long until your father arrived. Your body was shaking from excitement as you and Charlie went up to the door and your sister opened it.

   "Charlie!,” your father shouted with joy. A huge grin sat on his face and his yellow eyes sparkled as his gaze fell on your sister who stood much closer to him. He held out his arms and approached her, pulling her into a hug. “It’s so good to see you!”

   “It’s good to see you too, dad,” Charlie pressed through the tight hug of her father, overwhelm and a little bit of uncomfort in her expression.

   When Lucifer let go of her his eyes fell on you. "Y/N! You’re here too?” his pupils dilated in surprise and you immediately found yourself wrapped in his arms as well.

   “Dad!” you greeted him as you placed your hands around his torso and squeezed, the soft fragrance of his cologne entering your nose. He smelled the same he always did, the scent taking you back to the past when your family was still together and healthy. It was wonderful to be this close to him after such a long time and you wished this moment could last longer. You looked to the side and saw Alastor standing near your sister. But what you didn’t see was one of his eyes twitching at your father’s gesture.

   You let go of each other and Charlie held out her hand, spinning and pointing at the lobby. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

   The other residents greeted him with waving hands from afar and your father smiled back at them, walking through the lobby and letting his gaze wander around. “Wow, this place looks, uh…” he twisted his mouth in an unpleasant manner and frowned, searching for the right words. He chuckled nervously and you and Charlie exchanged glances as he stammered around, turning to the side and surveying the establishment as if he was a property inspector. You could tell that nervousness spread across Charlie’s face as she probably hoped his words wouldn’t be too dismissive. You shrugged your shoulders at her to dismiss your father’s unsettling behavior and followed him.

   “What do you think, dad?” you dared to ask him in hopes he’d come up with a response a little faster if you pushed on him a little.

   “It’s got a lot of character,” he eventually said and winched with a squeak when he turned around and laid eyes on the bar. “What in the unholy hell is that?” he asked repulsively and pointed to the swampy-looking counter decorated with skulls and two full snake skeletons wrapped around the poles. The green wood paneling disrupted the noble red wallpaper of the looby, making it appear like an eyesore amidst the otherwise mostly luxurious decor.

   A dark shadow crawled around the floor and took the form of Alastor who appeared right next to him. “Just some of the renovations we had done! ” he explained, pointing his cane at the bar, his signature smile wide and confident before he turned towards Lucifer and leaned on his cane. “Adds a bit of color, don’t you think?”

   “And you are?” Lucifer asked with raised eyebrows, a skeptical tone in his voice.

   You, again, exchanged glances with Charlie and held your breath. The moment has come in which your father and your financé had their first contact and somehow you got the feeling that this won’t end well. Your sister seemed to be fearing the same and she stepped closer to you. Her presence calmed your tension at least a little. 

   “Alastor,” your finacé introduced himself, “Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure!” He shook your fathers hand and you could see the disapproval in both their eyes, before they let go. Your father grimaced while Alastor wiped his hands over his coat.

   This most definitely won’t end well. But before you and Charlie could say something, Alastor continued, “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life.”

   You breathed in sharply. Your father didn’t seem to take his comment well as his expression immediately turned to annoyance. You and Charlie both approached them, your sister standing next to your father while you kept closer to Alastor. You really hoped that he’d notice your disapproval over how things were going and slow down a bit. But you knew him well enough to be sure he wouldn’t notice the tension in the room and also wouldn't care if he did.

   “Who is this?” your father asked, his eyes fixated on the demon before him. “Who’s this now? Are you the bellhop?”

   Alastor laughed in response. “No! I’m the host of the hotel. You might’ve heard of me from my radio broadcast,” he explained.

   Your father pretended to ponder his words for a very short moment but then denied with a derogatory snort. “Nope! I guess that’s why Charlie called it the ‘Hazbin Hotel’?” He laughed at his pun, this time more maliciously. The tension grew stronger and you didn’t even realize that you held your breath and pressed your fists so tightly together that your nails painfully stung your palms. Your sister, on the other hand, nervously rubbed her hands.

   Hiding his offense, Alastor piled into your father’s laughter, “It was actually my idea.”

   “Well, it’s not very clever!” your father responded, increasing his laugh.

   Alastor did the same and leaned in closer, “Fuck you.”

   “Alastor!” you yelled at him in shock and disbelief over his rude words and took him by his arm, dragging him to the side while your sister shoved your father into the other direction.

   “What the fuck is wrong with you?” you scolded him with a lowered voice to keep your conversation as private as possible. He’d never been someone who cussed so why did he have to do this now of all times?

   “He started it,” Alastor explained, keeping his face turned in the other direction to avoid eye contact.

   You breathed in sharply, anger boiling within you as you hissed, “I don’t care about who did what. You were supposed to make a good impression!”

   “Excuse me, dear, but it seems that your father and I don’t get along. And this seems to be based on mutuality. I don’t know if you noticed this but he already looked at me disapprovingly before we even exchanged words.”

   Oh, you did notice this. But you didn’t care because in this moment it was important for both of them to at least pretend to tolerate each other. You couldn’t afford your father and your finacé to already disembowel each other during their first encounter. Important aspects of your shared future relied on their correlation. And… Was Alastor even listening to you?!

   You snatched his cane out of his hands and spinned it around.

   Alastor finally turned to look at you, his teeth gritted and his eyebrows pushed together. His gaze became softer as he eyed your expression but he still seemed tense.

   “You’ll put this right, Alastor. Or otherwise…” You don’t finish your sentence and instead poke the pointy end of his cane between his ribs.

   “Fine,” he growled and took his cane back.

   You both turned around and saw Charlie pushing your father in your direction, her arm resting on his shoulder while she talked to him insistently with a calm but worried voice, “Without Alastor, we wouldn’t have been able to pretty it up this much!”

   Alastor took a step closer, tapping his fingertips on his cane. “Charlie has a very unique vision,” he started and stood next to her, forcing himself to sound as honest and courteous as possible, “I am happy to fulfill her bizarre requests.”

   “Thank you, Alastor”, your sister responded, ignoring your frowning father who looked anything but amused.

   Alastor continued, “Quite an impressive young lady. We’re all very proud of her.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and Charlie gave him a genuine smile before he let go and turned towards you. “And her sister, Y/N, well…” He laid his red eyes on you with a genuine and almost loving smile and rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it slightly in an almost unnoticeable but reassuring manner. “She’s an extraordinary being. Introduced me to this very special place so we can give her sister all the support and assistance she needs.”

   You smiled at him, grateful that he followed your request to at least try to make things right.

   Your father growled and narrowed his eyes as he noticed the way Alastor looked at you, the demon’s hand on your shoulder triggering his already strained nerves. He snatched his head in the other direction to face your sister. “Charlie… Why don’t you introduce me to your other friends?”

   “Oh, yes, of course!” she called out and walked up to the other residents. “This is Vaggie. She’s my girlfriend!” She pulled Vaggie with her who shyly raised her hand in a reserved greeting gesture.

   Your father laughed and his mood immediately switched from annoyance to excitement. “Oh my golly! You like girls? So do I! We have so much in common!” He pulled Vaggie in a rushed embrace, letting her go as fast as he got close to her. “She’s beautiful!”

   You felt your heart sink in your chest at your father’s opposite reaction to your sister’s partner and a strike of anxiety hit you at the thought of telling him the truth about you and Alastor. It wasn’t only the fact you both were a couple that made you this insecure but the fact that you were even engaged to him.

   Alastor seemed to sense your inner tension and squeezed your shoulder again, now with more pressure and you were grateful for him that he hadn’t removed his hand yet. His closeness was exactly what you needed at this moment. You moved a bit closer to him, hoping that you both didn't appear too close in the other eyes, and breathed in his scent while your thoughts raced in your head. You reviewed the events again and realized that Alastor was right. You had little reason to be so angry (only) at him because your father didn’t really behave either from the first second. Hopefully you could somehow dismiss this conflict as a matter of miscommunication between them.

   You watched your sister introduce your father to the other residents which he seemed to get along with very well – contrary to your finacé who seemed to be the only one he immediately despised.

   You sighed and that’s when your father turned around to face the lobby. With a determined expression he raised his voice so everybody could hear him, “Well, it looks like I could give you some help. With a little bit of alakazam,” he wiggled his fingers, indicating a magic spell, “we could turn this place into something much more appealing! I mean, who needs a busboy now that you got the chef?” He faced Alastor with narrowed eyes and poked his elbow teasingly into Charlie’s side.

   You could feel Alastor’s grip on your shoulder tightening. His smile turned into a strained grin as he obviously thought about saying something. You begged that he kept his mouth shut to not reinforce their conflict… 

   “Well, Charlie…” your father continued before Alastor could even say something, “I’m not almighty but I could give you a lot. Almost anything, if you ask for it. You know, normally, I’d charge a lot for my help but since you’re my daughter and I love you with all my heart, it’s a matter of course I do it for free. Unlike that sketchy prick who probably has some devious intentions in his mind.” He raised his cane and pointed at Alastor.

   Charlie blinked a few times and pressed a nervous and drawled ‘Thank you…’ through her uncomfortable smile. It was obvious that she didn’t approve of your father’s comment but she also didn’t want to increase the drama by intervening.

   Alastor took his hand off your shoulder and leaned on his cane. “At least I’ve been here from the start,” he commented and eyed his claws with a hint of arrogance.

   You breathed in sharply but tried your best to keep your patience up as Alastor continued his monologue. “Let's not forget that I’ve always been faithful to you, Charlie. I support you, care for you and this hotel, and execute whatever you demand”, he exclaimed with such confidence that it was almost awkward listening to him.

   “That’s true,” your sister responded carefully with a grateful smile on her face and your father rolled his eyes. “You know, dad, Alastor does a lot for the hotel and its residents.”

   “No matter his capabilities, because sometimes, Charlie, there’s no substitute for pure angelic power, which – not to forget – also happens to be your blood!”

   “Dad…” Charlie sighed and you growled, the anger cooking inside of you.

   “Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud,” Alastor interfered again, his grin still as prominent as always but his eyes narrowed, darting invisible arrows at Lucifer. He straightens his back to appear even taller in comparison to your father, the arrogance undeniable in his expression. “Seems like the family you chose is better.”

   “You’re such a loser!” your dad spat out.

   “And yet here you are proving me right with every word you speak,” Alastor snatched back.

   “You know nothing, you prick!”

   “Well, unlike you, I don’t abandon my responsibilities!”

   “How do you dare question my commitment?”

   “At least I care for your daughters.”

   “Oh you tacky little piece of–!”

You jumped between them. “Shut the fuck up! Both of you!”

 you yelled as your anger burst through the walls you’ve tried to maintain hold of. Your voice cracked with the strain of suppressed fury and your appearance began to morph into a much more demonic form as pointy horns grew out of your head and your eyes turned a gleaming bloody red. “I’m sick of you bickering like children, you fucking attention whores! Is this how you get your kicks, by not being able to keep your mouths shut over such trivial nonsense? Do you even realize how goddamn irritating it is for the rest of us to be subjected to your constant squabbling? You know each other for ten minutes and already start pushing each other to the limits!”

   “Y/N–,” Alastor tried to interrupt you but you stretched out your arm, pushing him away from you.

   “No, Alastor, back the fuck off!” you scream, looking up in his red eyes and poking his chest angrily with your index finger. “Everytime I tell you to keep your shit together and make a good impression, you make things worse!”

   Your head snatches around and you now stare at your father with the same fury in your eyes. “And you, dad, stop your irresponsible nonsense and don’t taunt him as if he were a punching bag for your own insecurities!” Now you poke at your father’s chest, towering over him with floating hair and fire in your eyes. “Because Alastor’s right! Where have you been all the time? Instead of helping us and supporting Charlie in her project, you didn't even contact us! Especially not me! The last time I heard from you was over a year ago! And now you come here, finally ready to help your daughters, and the moment you arrive you start lashing out at my fiancé to deflect from your own mistakes because you can't stand the fact that he was there for us while you preferred to wallow yourself in your depression!”

   Silence fell over the room when you finished your rant, all eyes locked on you in shock and disbelief over your courage to attack the Radio Demon and the King of Hell himself in such a manner. Your heart raced, pumped your blood through your veins with such a pressure that you felt your whole body pulsating under your tension as relief washed over you.

   “Y–,” your dad tried to say, stuttering and completely overwhelmed by your confrontation and what you just revealed to him. “You–, Your… fiancé?” He ripped his eyes open, his mouth agape in disbelief.

   You breathed in heavily and closed your eyes for a brief moment, realizing what you just revealed, before you opened them again and responded to his question with a much calmer but also weak and tired voice, “Yes, dad. Alastor is my fiancé.”

   “What the fuck?” you could hear Angel exclaim in the background but ignored him.

   “Well…” your father hesitated. He struggled hard to find the right words and put his hand over his mouth, rubbing his skin like a stress ball. “Well, I’m… Wow…”

   Alastor approached you, his steps echoing from the high walls in the silent room and he put his hand on your shoulder. Feeling his touch through your blouse, caused a jolt of electricity to rush through your body. It erased the rest of your anger and your appearance returned to your normal form. Alastor’s presence calmed you down to an almost relaxed state. You felt the need to lean on him but resisted because everything that just happened was already enough – for you, for your father, your fiancé and all the other residents who were forced to witness this nerve-wrecking spectacle.

   You watched your father’s gaze roam over Alastor’s presence, from his head to his toes and from his toes back to his head.

   “I–, I don’t know what to say… Uh… I–... I’m speechless,” he stuttered, unable to look away from the man that stood next to you and encouraged you with a little but meaningful gesture and with who you wanted to spend the rest of eternity with. “I–, excuse me. I need some time to think.”

   Your father indicated to turn around and leave as your sister grabbed him by his arm, holding him back. “Would you like me to give you a tour around the hotel?” she asked him reassuringly in hope he would agree, what he then did.

   “Yes. Please.”

   Your sister gave you an encouraging look before she turned around and guided your father towards the stairs, Vaggie following right after to accompany them.

   Now, you and Alastor were alone with Angel Dust, Sir Pentious, Husk and Niffty. All of them stared at you, speechless. Especially Husk appeared a bit traumatized by your accidental announcement.

   “So… Mister fancy-talk-creepy-voice managed to slide into the royal family?” Angel asked you with interest but you raised your hand, interrupting him.

   “Stop it, Angel.”

   The spider demon pressed his lips together in a thin line and hummed.

   You turned towards Alastor. “Are you mad?” you asked him, afraid that you damaged his trust by revealing your biggest secret you had sworn to keep.

   Alastor leaned his head down sideways to look you in the eyes. His grin was replaced by a genuine smile as his red eyes surveyed your expression. “It’s alright, my dear.”

   He looked over to the other residents, walking a few steps closer to them and cocked his head in an unnatural and unnerving way. His antlers grew in size with pointy ends while his eyes changed to a black color with red, moving radio dials as irises. “If you dare say a single word about mine and Y/N’s relationship outside of the hotel, I will tear you apart and hang your guts as flags on the hotel roof so everybody will be able to see what happens if you dare gossip about the radio demon and his lady.”

*****

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[astarion-approves]

More than sex.

Astarion x gn! Tav

"You’re telling me, that you.. would pass on a night of… meaningless, fantastic, eyes rolling to the back of your head, mind blowing sex… for love?”

“Yes.”

Rating: Mature (for the subject but no actual sex or smut in any way shape or form.) Tags: Demisexuality, demisexual Tav, Demisexual Reader, No Smut, gn! Reader, Slight spoilers, Act One spoilers, Developing Relationship, Developing Friendships, Drabble, short and sweet, Confessions

Ao3 or keep reading below:

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“I’m just looking for a little more excitement. A little more fun.”

Tav considered these words, anytime they saw Astarion having ‘fun’ was on the battlefield. Either stabbing his way through anything that stood before him, or sneaking up behind them and slitting their throat before they could even scream. “And what’s your idea of ‘a little fun?’”

Astarion smiled, taking a sip of his cheap wine before speaking, “By the hells. Sex, my dear. A night of passion.” 

“Oh.”

“Oh, indeed. So, how about—“

“Shadowheart is free.” Tav looked over their shoulder to where she stood by her own tent where she fiddled with a bottle of wine attempting to open it with slow hands. 

“Wait, what—“ Astarion shifted to look past Tav to where she stood, the woman catching his gaze and glaring in return. 

“And she’s really pretty too,” Tav offered. 

“I’m not interested in hearing her praise her goddess tonight.” 

“Well, there’s also Lae’zel—“

Astarion shook his head. “I think she would rather behead me before she would ever bed me.”

“Halsin is available too—“ The Druid elf was handsome, and such a powerful one at that but before Tav could even finish, Astarion cut them off.

“Tempting, but not the one I’m interested in.” 

“Gale—“

“No.” 

Tav hummed, putting their hands on their hips as they scanned the rest of the camp. There were many others, but most were already too drunk to even remember their own names. “I can’t think of anyone else.” 

“There’s always you, darling.” 

“Me?” Tav snorted a laugh. Surely he must have been joking. Of all the people that Astarion could have… Tav would personally put themselves at the bottom of the list. 

“Yes, you. It’s not everyday someone like yourself would be propositioned by someone like me, and this may be your last opportunity—“

“No thank you.” 

“No?! What do you mean ‘no’?!” Astarion was shocked, his hands jumping to his chest as if Tav had stabbed him directly in the heart. 

Tav grimaced, the way that Astarion’s face dropped, the hurt that filled his eyes so quickly… “Look, I’m not… rejecting you—“

“Sure sounds like rejection to me—“

They shook their head. “I need to be in love first… before I can…” Tav lifted their hands, gesturing towards Astarion in a weak display of trying to find the words and failing. “Don’t get me wrong… you’re- you are breathtaking, Astarion. The most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on—“ 

“Yes, I know. But– you’re telling me, that you.. would pass on a night of… meaningless, fantastic, eyes rolling to the back of your head, mind blowing sex… for love?” 

“Yes.”

Astarion paused, taken aback. “Well, that’s actually quite admirable… But why?” 

“For me, I want it to mean something. Sex is an easily obtainable thing, but love… love you have to work for, to fight for, to earn and to cherish. Sex is great and all but… making love to the person who means the most to you in the world. That’s what I want. That’s what I need.” 

Astarion tapped his finger against his lips, thinking to himself before speaking again. “Hm. Sex and love, I never took you for such a sap,” he said with a light laugh. “Well, how do you feel about being friends then, hm? The kind of friends that protect one another, that is.” 

Tav chuckled. “I think it’s too late for that.” 

“Too late?! So what, now we can’t even be friends?!” Astarion threw his hands up, frustrated. “All I did was hit on you and now—“ 

“No, no,” Tav cut him off, reaching for Astarion’s hands and holding them gently. “What I mean… We can be friends but… I have developed some feelings for you. If you want to be friends, that’s fine. That’s great, actually. I just… well, I need to know if I should ignore those feelings—“  

Astatrion pulled his hands way, choosing to gesture towards Tav as he spoke. “So, let me get this straight. You have ‘some’ feelings for me?”

“Yes,” Tav replied with a nod. 

“But you don’t want to fuck me, tonight? Right now?” 

“Right.” They nodded again. 

“How very interesting… and even.. a little refreshing,” Astarion smiled, a smile that almost seemed shy… With his head turning away from Tav—and Tav swore they saw the smallest blush growing on his cheeks. 

“Refreshing?” Tav questioned, learning towards Astarion in an attempt to see that adorable blush— 

Astarion waved them off, the blush already gone and Astarion back to his usual self. “Never mind that, Tav. I guess we can see where this goes then?” He reached out, taking Tav’s hand into his own and giving it a light squeeze. “Whatever this is, anyway.” 

Tav smiled. “I’d like that.” 

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