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avocado-frog · 1 year

Text

Dahlia. 2

Rating: M Word count: 7,000 (i'll write with a reasonable length soon i swear i just needed to get the first two chapters done) Warnings: Mentions of a suicide attempt, referenced ableism, violence, I think that's all but let me know Title: 4/16/2019-4/20/2019 Summary: Kai and Marcy visit. Leo and Jaxon are still fighting

4/16/2019

"How long are you staying?" Sam asked, leaning his head on the armrest of Logan's couch. He had stayed up late, waiting for his cousins to show up. They timed their visit weird, had some setbacks, and had only showed up at ten at night. Later than Sam usually liked to stay awake for.

"A couple of days, I think," was Kai's response, frowning at a lit-up phone screen. He glanced up at Logan. "If that's okay, of course."

"Of course it is." Logan smiled at the two, taking Kai's backpack and Marcy's suitcase. "I'll set up an air mattress in the living room, if you want."

"Yeah, thank you." Kai nodded politely, and turned back to Sam, smiling. "Hey, happy birthday. That was yesterday, right?"

Sam chuckled nervously, fidgeting with his hands. "Yeah, it was."

"Cool," Marcy joined in on their conversation. "How old are you now? Four? Five?"

"Eleven," Sam corrected. Logan, holding a rolled-up air mattress, came back down the stairs. Sam let out a stifled, relieved sigh.

"Alright, Sam." Logan must have sensed his mild discomfort. "It's probably time to get to bed, or you'll be tired in the morning. You have school. You can catch up with your cousins tomorrow."

"Right, okay." Sam nodded, and waved to his cousins. He mouthed a quick thanks to Logan, who gave a small, subtle nod, and he ran up the staircase faster than he ever had before.

It wasn't like his birthday had been bad, necessarily, it was just... uncomfortable. After they left Jaxon's friend's house, Jaxon had opted to stay behind, and Ryan went to bed when they got home, apparently having done too much that day. Logan had made him a cupcake, and his sisters, Dylan, and Lily got him presents, but it just felt off without his brothers there, too.

Ryan had left his door unlocked, so that was progress. The others had been happy, of course, when he told them that Ryan not only left his room, but left the house. The fact that he left the door unlocked was huge. Sam was optimistic.

Though, he still wasn't ready to go back to sharing a room yet. Ryan said that the place was too messy, and that he needed a little bit more time by himself, that he was overwhelmed, but that it was okay for him to visit. So, Sam kept that spare room, leaving his cousins with an air mattress and the couch in the living room.

Sam flicked the lights to his room on. It wasn't decorated, and the bedsheets weren't his normal ones, just the generic, maroon ones that had been there when he took the room. It was a little boring, and if he were to stay there much longer, he wanted to get some of his stuff from his old room.

He didn't dare turn the lights off. Maybe it was childish to still be afraid of the dark, but the lab had gotten pitch black at night, with the lack of windows, and blindingly bright during the day. As long as his room was brighter than the lab at any given time, he was okay. If he woke up and it was pitch black like it used to be, and he was alone, then there would be a problem.

He didn't consider himself fully safe until the TV was on, and the windows and door were open. Once the TV was on and turned to some random cartoon he'd never watched before, he could turn the lights back off and be okay.

If he didn't do all that, he would wake up screaming. That had only been an issue recently, and it had only happened three times. Leo, closest to his room, was there the fastest, quickly followed by Cass and Lily. Technically, Elliot was the closest to his room, being just next door, with Ryan diagonal from him. But that wasn't the point.

Even after he did his routine- the room was bright enough so that he wouldn't wake up and think he was in the lab again, the door was open so he wouldn't believe he was trapped, the curtains on the window were open so that he could see outside- it still took his brain a minute to calm down, still took him a long time to get his mind to slow down, and it took forever to really convince himself that he was safe.

---

Kai woke up from a half-sleep, barely able to relax in the living room of someone who was almost a stranger, on a slightly-deflated air mattress.

Eyelids still heavy, he reached out for the phone he set on the coffee table that Logan had moved out of the way, and knocked the poor thing to the ground, causing his sister to make some weird sound and roll over to her other side, from where she laid on the couch.

Wincing, Kai gingerly picked his phone up, and saw that it was only two in the morning. He sighed to himself, knowing he would never get back to sleep.

He stood up, stumbling a little from the lack of steadiness of the air mattress, and wandered to Logan's kitchen. He had said it was alright for him to take whatever he wanted from there, though Kai still felt a little guilty for it.

Mostly, he and Marcy had only decided to come over for two days to help out their cousins, especially after learning what had happened with the youngest kid. He didn't know exact details. He told his parents about it, and they insisted that they visit, despite the fact that they were going to miss school. They were told that this was more important, and that they could hire a tutor if they really needed to, but Kai was still thoroughly against missing that much school. Two days felt excessive.

He began filling a cup of water, after searching through the cabinets to find a single cup anywhere, when the front door quietly clicked shut, breaking through the dead silence. Kai made some embarrassing squeak noise, turning around in a panic.

Jaxon, standing on the other end of the hall by the front door, looked just as stunned to see him there. Quietly, he shuffled past the air mattress, and to the kitchen.

Out of all of the twin's new friends, Jaxon and Logan were the only ones he kept in contact with. Though, recently, Jaxon had stopped responding to any calls or messages, which was unlike him.

"You are... in my house?" Jaxon muttered softly, as not to wake up Marcy. A smart decision. Marcy was nearly homicidal when she got woken up.

"I texted you, and said I was on my way." Kai leaned back against a counter. Jaxon balled up the edge of his hoodie in his fist. "What are you doing, breaking into your own house at two in the morning?"

Kai remembered something about how being tired made you lose control over your emotional regulation, resulting in getting all sad when it was night.

Jaxon sniffed, and swiped at his nose with his wrist, trembling a little. For a minute, Kai worried he would start crying. He wasn't sure what to do if that happened.

"Woah, don't cry..." Kai sort of slurred. He felt a lot more tired than he had a moment ago. "Just tell me why you were gone."

"I was just with a friend." Jaxon crossed his arms over his chest, hands clenched into fists. Under the moonlight coming through the window, blue hair sparkled. Kai found himself transfixed on it.

"Have you ever dyed your hair other colors?" Kai decided to drop the earlier subject. It was making his friend upset. Maybe later.

"Huh?" Jaxon looked caught off guard. He pulled a strand of his hair in front of his eyes, and shrugged. "Oh, uh... yeah, I have. When I was first starting to dye it, it was black, with green stripes. I was, maybe twelve."

"Hm." Kai leaned back against the counter again. "I think... purple would look nice."

"Purple?"

"Yeah. Like-" Kai waved his hand in a circle as he tried to form the correct words. "Like, dark purple. It's a little more subtle than your blue, but I think it'd look pretty with your eyes."

"Oh."

"I think you should stay here," Kai said, out of nowhere. At this point, he was just spewing garbage out of his mouth. He was only half-aware of what he was saying. It felt like a dream.

Jaxon glanced up at him, sitting on the counter opposite of him. He shrugged loosely. "I don't- I don't know."

"How come?" Kai had a feeling he knew, but he was curious, anyways.

"Leo's mad at me, I don't know why, and..." he glanced at a spot on the floor. Kai's gaze trailed to a spot that had been cleaned a little too hard. "I can barely stand to be in here."

"This is where that kid-"

"Yeah."

Kai hummed a little, contemplating. "I think... I think you owe it to him to stay. I think that the others need you here."

"Really?"

Running off to stay with a friend after something bad had happened, sounded like the twins back in November. Kai didn't even hear from Leo until almost two months later, too.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so." Kai nodded, mostly to himself. "I don't know about Leo, haven't talked to her today, but I think I can get her to calm down a little. Leo's never... been through anything like this before, but yeah. Usually, her first reaction to anything bad ever, is getting angry."

"I can tell," Jaxon deadpanned.

"You probably didn't do anything wrong," Kai continued. "Collateral damage. Wrong place, wrong time, you know?"

"Yeah." Jaxon nodded tiredly. He yawned. "...I'll think about it. Only came over because I wanted a better blanket. He won't notice I left. ...I can stay for a while."

Kai frowned again. "You shouldn't be walking out by yourself at night. That's not safe."

Jaxon snorted, smiling. "Yeah, okay, mom."

"I'm serious!" Kai scolded, genuinely distressed. "You could get hurt."

Jaxon, like a flipped switch, went back to his usual self, smiling. "I can take care of myself. Nothing bad will happen to me, walking two blocks down the street."

"You don't know that..."

Jaxon hopped down from the counter, reaching up to place a hand on the top of Kai's head.

"Yes I do. I have magic, you don't." Jaxon still grinned. "If anything, you shouldn't be out at night. You couldn't fight to save your life, either."

"Well, there's no need to be rude about it."

Jaxon snickered, and gestured towards the staircase with his head. "Well, are you going back to bed? Dylan won't wake up, if you want to watch a movie, or something."

Kai wasn't going to be able to sleep anyways, and watching a movie with him did sound more fun than laying on an air mattress trying to sleep. He nodded.

"Sure."

4/17/2019

Dylan stared up at the dark, looming staircase to the attic. It was a room they never used until recently, having been just a storage room until a couple of weeks ago, when it had been changed to Elliot's room. Dylan never bothered to ask why they didn't use Elliot's real room. Didn't matter, they supposed.

A pit formed in their stomach just looking at the door at the top of the stairs. They felt bad about it, but they didn't like to visit Elliot. They needed to. Elliot was scared of being alone.

The worst part, was that Dylan knew something would happen. They had Logan hide the knives. They locked every cabinet with any sort of medicine, hid anything that could even be a little dangerous, and yet, Elliot got hurt.

When Dylan saw that vision of Elliot's stab wound, they saw one for Leo as well, though they couldn't remember exactly what it was, and it never came back up again. If Leo noticed Dylan's desperate attempts to keep her safe, she didn't say anything. They didn't want her to die, too.

Elliot died for a whole five minutes, legally speaking, before Dylan was able to reverse it. That was definitely in the top five scariest moments of their life.

They had a visiting-Elliot cycle, as they called it. Lily usually went in the mornings to check on him, then Logan to do the important medical stuff, and then Sam or Leo. Dylan hadn't been going to school, and visited whenever they had the opportunity.

This time, they were being accompanied by Ryan. To Dylan's knowledge, Ryan hadn't gone to visit his brother at all, since the incident.

"Are you sure?" Dylan signed one final time to their friend, who gave a small nod in response, hands balled into fists, shoulders tense.

Ryan couldn't even go into the kitchen. Dylan thought that it was still too soon, that he should wait until he could stand in the kitchen again, but Ryan insisted.

"I have to," Ryan signed back. Dylan shook their head. He didn't have to do anything. The obligation was purely fictional. "I promised Sam I would leave my room more."

And Dylan, while glad Ryan was doing better, making a little bit of progress in the short span of two days, was still convinced he was going too fast. Dylan knew Ryan well enough, he preferred to go slowly with this sort of thing. They couldn't help but worry.

If Ryan really wanted to go up there, it wasn't like they could say no.

Dylan walked up the staircase, ahead of Ryan, so he could leave if he wanted, and unlocked the attic's door. That automatic locking thing was going to be the death of them, they were sure. When they were around eight or nine, they got trapped there trying to look for something, and it took five hours before anyone realized they were in there. Jaxon had practically broken the door down in a panic, and refused to let Dylan out of his sight for the next week. A bad day for everyone involved.

Dylan paused before opening the door. Ryan was still there, when they turned around.

They shot Ryan the most serious look they could. "Don't shut the door," they signed, and Ryan nodded. "It will lock. We'll be stuck."

Ryan nodded again, like he had experience in getting locked in the attic. Out of all the group, it would be the most unfortunate for Ryan and Dylan to get stuck in the attic. Neither of them were loud, and definitely not loud enough to be heard all the way in the first floor where Kai and Marcy- the only ones that were there- were. Dylan could only hope Ryan would listen to them.

The other worst case scenario was if Ryan saw his brother and started to panic like he did whenever he went into the kitchen. If that happened, Dylan would have to leave him alone to get help.

To his credit, Ryan didn't panic when he saw Elliot. Instead, a certain, sad, resigned look flashed across dull eyes. He wasn't afraid of him, like he was afraid of the kitchen. Ryan twisted his hands together, before turning back to Dylan.

"How often do you visit?" Ryan signed, and Dylan had to think about it.

"Maybe... three times a week?" Dylan signed with a shrug. "I try, often as I can. Visit you, too."

It wasn't like, staying home by themself all day, they had much else going on. It was hard to do anything else. They had a routine; wake up, eat breakfast, see Ryan, watch TV, see Elliot, lunch, TV, dinner. Simple, comforting. Dylan didn't want to stray from that routine. Anything else was overwhelming, they found out.

"I should have come up sooner," Ryan signed. His arms fell limp to his sides. He looked like he would cry. This was not Dylan's area of expertise whatsoever. Still, they were almost upset that Ryan thought like that.

Dylan shook their head firmly, when they got Ryan's attention. "Don't say that. You're here now."

Ryan nodded silently. Dylan turned back to Elliot. A pang of guilt struck them.

Dylan had never been great at making friends outside their family. Most kids their age didn't know sign language, so there was a slight barrier there. Despite them being in a class with other deaf kids, it still just didn't work. It was frustrating, they couldn't get why. They didn't think they were rude, or boring enough to ignore, and yet, it was a struggle.

Jaxon said it didn't matter, that they were stupid if they didn't want to be friends with them, and Logan said that they were bound to find someone who liked them outside of home, and Lily said she would beat anyone into the dirt for them if they asked, but they never got an answer as to why.

Dylan wished they could say that they just got along better with the teachers in their classroom, but they didn't. The teachers talked to them more often than the other kids, yet, they couldn't help but feel babied by the teachers. Talked down to, ignored. Dylan liked to think they were smarter than that.

Elliot understood that.

Logan was in online college, but he had a job, and he was relatively well-liked. He didn't understand. Leo gained a sort-of popularity among her classmates, though it hadn't always been like that. Leo almost understood. Cass was smart, and everyone seemed to like her, too, so she didn't understand. The same for Lily. Jaxon got along with everyone, and so did Sam. Ryan and Elliot both truly understood when Dylan said no one liked them.

Like them, Ryan wasn't good at reading people. Social cues were a tricky thing, and people seemed to get offended by the slightest misreading. It was a minefield.

Elliot, missing an eye, constantly deadpan, jumpy, he told Dylan that his classmates were genuinely afraid of him. Dylan didn't think that was justified. At worst, Elliot knew how to scare people. In truth, Elliot was only a kid. (Though, to be fair, Dylan was only a year and one month older.)

So, seeing Elliot in the condition he was in, and seeing Ryan hurting so bad over it, it felt like a hot knife carving a hole in every inch of their skin. It was not a pleasant feeling.

Visiting whenever possible was the best thing they could do. Their only fear was that Elliot didn't know they were there. Some people in comas can hear, and Dylan's hearing aids were downstairs in their room, they didn't usually like to talk without them, and the high-pitched ringing noise was getting a little irritating. They must've needed new batteries.

One thing they used to do as a kid, before they knew sign language, but after they went deaf, was something Logan had started; writing letters in their palm. It was easier than sign, but you had to pay attention. Logan had caught onto sign language pretty quickly, and so had Dylan, but it was taking Lily a while, and Jaxon had been having trouble with the right hand movements. His brain injury mostly damaged the part of the brain that controlled speech, so for a while, neither Dylan nor Jaxon said a word to their new friends.

Dylan used the old trick of writing into Elliot's hand to let him know they were there. They didn't usually say much, as it took a while, and touching other people's palms sort of grossed them out. It was strangely leathery. Usually, they just wrote a simple greeting. They could only hope Elliot knew it was them. He hated being alone.

"I wonder if I could have stopped him," Ryan signed out of nowhere, and Dylan glared, already hating where this was going. "If I tried hard enough."

"Stop," Dylan signed, with the sternest look they could possibly manage. "You got hurt trying to take the knife. You did what you could."

Somehow, they doubted Ryan believed them.

4/18/2019

Leo was not acting normal, despite what the others were saying.

She sat across the table from Jaxon, staring at her phone in one hand, holding a sandwich in the other. Sometimes, one of the others would start talking, and she would look up, and her gaze would flicker to the phone.

Something wasn't right, and it seemed like he was the only one who noticed.

Leo scrolled up for maybe half a second, and then back down to the same thing, over and over. Her eyes held a dim blankness, like she was just on her phone for show and didn't care what was on it. If someone talked to her, she would answer in brief, quiet sentences.

It wasn't like Jaxon was the one who had known her the longest, so that wasn't why he knew this, either. Cass was her sister, Kai and Marcy were her cousins, Logan and Lily were her childhood friends, the triplets, while her brothers, she only met them five months ago. Jaxon had met her in November, so he was not the one who had known her the longest, by a long shot.

And still, Cass thought she was acting fine. Logan said she was just recovering from the shock of what happened the previous month, like they all were, to just give her a few more weeks. If Elliot were there, he would notice, Jaxon was sure.

Kai was probably right, about what he had said before. Leo was probably targeting him out of everyone because he happened to be there. Leo would be fine in a few days, and everything would be okay again. He hoped so, at least. He missed her.

Jaxon took an angry bite of his sandwich, setting it down on his plate. He stared at the table, resting his chin on his hand. He glanced at Leo, who glanced at him, scowled, and looked back at her phone.

He tried everything he could. He tried to apologize, to get her to talk, to leave her alone, everything. And nothing worked.

Jaxon didn't ever really get angry with any of his friends.

His hand tightened around his cup, his eyes burned, a scream threatened to claw its way out of his throat. He was shaking, his knee bounced as his foot tapped against the floor.

He wasn't angry at her. He was just a little annoyed. Irritated, if you will.

Leo would get over it, and so would he.

---

"Ew, you've been on an air mattress all weekend?" Jaxon made a face, rolling it back to it's original rolled-up form. "I hate air mattresses. I always think I'll fall."

"I did fall," Kai remarked, and handed him the box that the mattress was supposed to go in. "Multiple times."

Kai glowered at his sister half-heartedly. "She called dibs on the couch when we got here."

"Not even a trial with rock-paper-scissors, huh?" Jaxon sat on the floor, his friend sat down across from him. Kai always seemed to sit with perfect posture, Jaxon couldn't get why. He thought it was just how he was raised, but then Marcy sat backwards and upside down on the couch every day. Jaxon cupped a hand over his mouth. "Lily always does that with the TV remote!"

"Well, maybe you should get to the couch faster!" Lily yelled back, from wherever she was.

Kai snickered behind his hand, and Jaxon stared at him with wide eyes.

"I didn't even know she could hear me!" Jaxon made a wide gesture with his hands, and began picking at the carpet. "Do you need help packing anything else?"

"Nah." Kai shrugged. "I didn't bring much." He gestured at Marcy's entire suitcase. "Unlike somebody."

Jaxon smiled thinly, drawing his knees close to his chest, resting his chin on his arms. He was that close to going with Cass's cousins.

"Oh!" Kai shot up, staring at his phone. "My parents are here. Guess it's time to go, then."

"Oh, okay!" Jaxon stood up, and followed his friend to the door. Marcy probably knew it was time to go. Jaxon genuinely didn't have a clue where she was anymore.

Kai turned around, looking a little concerned. "You'll be okay here?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Seriously." Kai's expression became a bit sterner. "Tell me if things get worse with Leo. Or with Elliot."

Jaxon suppressed a flinch. A slight pang in his heart. "I will. He'll be fine."

Elliot was going to be fine.

"Okay." Kai nodded. His arms wrapped around Jaxon's neck in a swift hug. "I'll text you on the way over, if I have any internet."

"Alright!" Jaxon grinned, heart racing a little. "Drive safely! Tell your grandma and your cat that I said hello!"

Kai laughed a little. "I will. See you later."

4/19/2019

"Do you ever watch where you're going?"

Ryan's head thumped against the door. A headache pulsed behind his eyes. Dylan hung upside-down on Sam's bed, playing a game on their phone. Sam searched through boxes underneath Ryan's bed.

"Sam."

"I'm looking."

"Sam."

"I know, I know." Sam waved his hand absently in Ryan's direction. "Ha! Found them!"

Triumphantly, Sam held up Ryan's sound-cancelling headphones. He lost them at some point, even after he had cleaned his room. Sam handed them to him. Ryan pulled them over his head, cringing a little at the pressure.

Sounds became muffled, like he thought he should have been used to by now. Putting them on would suddenly plunge him underwater, and he'd be sinking, he couldn't swim, water would flood his ears through the headphones, it would all still be muffled when he got out and stood on the dock, shaking, about to cry, Jaxon was panicking, a group of kids frantically apologized.

Ryan shook his head. He was fine. He couldn't drown, he had been fine. He just got a little sick afterwards, was all.

"You okay?" Sam signed, and Ryan nodded. He could still hear his sister fighting with Jaxon outside of their room.

From the little context he had, Jaxon tripped and fell, and knocked Leo over, and Leo was overreacting a little.

The fights got worse after their cousins left. Practically the minute the two had driven off, it had been nonstop.

Logan tried to stop them, tried to separate them, but it never seemed to work. Ryan knew that Leo was messing with Jaxon on purpose now, and that he was taking the bait. It was annoying. If it continued, Ryan would have to resort to violence.

"Think they'll stop?" Sam signed, looking equally annoyed. Their fighting became muffled, he couldn't tell their voices apart, or understand what they were saying.

"No." Ryan signed back, and pretended to fist-fight the air. Sam snickered.

"They won't fight."

"They'll fight."

Sam glanced over at Dylan, then back to Ryan. "Leo will win. Dylan doesn't agree."

Ryan nodded. He didn't think Jaxon really had the heart to seriously fight any of them. Although, he had heard from Lily and Logan that he used to get in fights at school all the time. But then, so had Leo.

Someone knocked on the door, and Ryan shot up, seconds before Lily kicked the door open, slid inside, and shut the door behind her.

"Hey, I hear this is where we're hiding." Lily's voice was louder than the other's, Ryan could hear her quite clearly through the headphones. He slid them around his neck. "Cass left her laptop in here. She's at the store right now, but she asked me to find it."

Sam pointed to a thin, silver laptop covered in little sunflower stickers. Lily nodded, and picked it up, choosing to sit on the bed instead of leave.

"Annoyed yet?" Lily chuckled lightly, but all four of them flinched when a loud thud sounded from the hallway. "I barely got in here without catching on fire." Lily made a dramatic gesture with her hands, leaning forward. "I think Leo's this close to snapping my brother's neck clean off."

"They shouldn't be using their magic indoors," Ryan mumbled. "They could both burn down the house..."

"Mhm, totally." Lily nodded in agreement. "They'll wake up your brother with all their fighting."

Ryan winced a little. Sam cringed, but nodded.

Dylan sat up, turning their phone off. Their hearing aids were out, and carefully placed on Ryan's dresser. "Are they done?"

"No."

Dylan groaned and flopped back down on the bed. Lily patted their head sympathetically.

"Dinner should be ready in a few minutes, Logan thinks." Lily turned back to Ryan and Sam. "And Cass should be home any second now, which means that she'll mom-friend those two into submission and get them to shut the fuck up!"

She shouted that last part in the direction of the door, and momentarily, the argument stopped. It then continued with, "and now you're annoying Lily!"

Lily buried her face in her hands and pretended to cry. "Oh my god..."

"They're annoying the rest of us, too." Sam glared at the door. He looked back at Ryan. "Should we go downstairs, since dinner's done?"

"Ugh!" Lily stood up, and sighed dramatically. "I guess."

She signed to Dylan that they were going downstairs for dinner. Lily was the first one to open the door, acting like the hallway was a warzone, as she carefully inched outside. She was followed by Dylan, who didn't seem to care all that much, and then Ryan and Sam at the back of their line.

By the time they got out there, Leo had seemingly pushed Jaxon down, and had already gone downstairs. Lily silently helped Jaxon back up.

Cass had come back home by the time they got to the dining room, she was helping set out the food with Logan.

Lemon chicken and rice, one of Ryan's personal favorites. He could hardly bring himself to enjoy it.

Usually, it was Leo and Jaxon talking the loudest at the table, which caused the others to all join in. With Leo and Jaxon not on speaking terms at the moment, it meant that the others didn't talk, either.

Cass and Lily made light conversation, though it was strained and reduced to small talk. Across the table, Logan asked how the food was, to which Ryan responded with a thumbs-up.

Leo was eating slowly. She glanced up, looking around the table and sighed to herself, going back to eating the rice.

Leo finished first, and had run up the stairs.

When it was finished, Ryan helped to collect the plates, placing them in the sink. Logan gave him a small smile, patted him on the head, and Ryan ran off to go find his sister.

He darted up the stairs faster than he normally would have, slowing down at the sight of Leo's open door.

Leo's room was Ryan's favorite out of all of them. It was messy, disorganized, yet somehow, Ryan was instantly anxious upon entering (like he was with Dylan and Jaxon's room). It had a calming effect, he was safe there.

Leo was on the floor, emptying school supplies from her backpack, leaving them scattered on the floor. He thought that was odd, since they had school the next day. Leo skipped school often, so he wasn't too worried about that. Still, he had a bad feeling.

"What're you doing?" Ryan asked, and Leo jumped.

"Oh, Ryan." Leo smiled thinly. It was forced. "I'm going to a friend's house tomorrow night, I thought I would pack early."

Ryan stepped inside, kneeling down on the floor in front of her. He gestured to a pencil, rolling away. "You aren't going to school tomorrow?"

"Nah." Leo shrugged. "But don't tell Logan."

Ryan chuckled a little. He hugged his knees, watching Leo neatly fold a shirt from a red hanger, setting it inside her backpack.

"Are you going to school?" Leo picked up the runaway pencil and poked him in the forehead. "It's been a while, but there's no rush, you know. Take as long as you need."

Ryan shrugged. Going to school still made his stomach churn. He hated leaving Sam alone for so long, and he felt a bit better than he had been before, but he wasn't sure if school was too much or not. The principal had given him, Dylan, and Sam all a pass to skip the rest of the year, if they wanted.

"I don't know..."

"Don't force yourself, if you aren't sure." Leo placed her hand on his shoulder, smiling softly. "And hey! You went to the kitchen today! You're making progress."

Ryan blinked, remembering how he had gotten to the dining room in the first place- through the kitchen- and how he had helped Logan with the dishes earlier. He hadn't even noticed.

"Now, go get ready for bed, watch a movie or something. Whatever it is you kids do." Leo ruffled his hair gently. "We'll do something fun tomorrow, when the others leave, yeah?"

Ryan smiled a little. "...Yeah."

"Alright. Goodnight, love you."

"You too."

4/20/2019

Leo took him to the aquarium downtown, had even bought something from the gift shop. That was something she never did, complaining about how expensive they were, how she could buy something eighty-five dollars cheaper at the Dollar Store.

It was just a stuffed axolotl, but Ryan looked deeply suspicious of it, and Dylan was deeply suspicious of the frog keychain they got as well. Yet another frog thing for their collection, Leo had said.

They went to the park afterwards. Leo sat on the bench and watched Dylan water the flowers in the garden with their water bottle, and Ryan swinging on the swing set. She snickered as another kid approached him, and he began signing a bunch of nonsense until the kid left him alone.

Leo didn't want to leave them. The more she thought about it, the less appealing it became. Funny, this was the same bench she stayed on while trying to decide whether to stay at Logan's house in the first place, where she wondered if looking for her brothers was worth it. It had been. Ryan had just started leaving his room again, she didn't even know how Sam was doing, and Elliot was in a coma. It'd been worth it, but Leo wasn't able to take care of them like Logan or Cass could. As soon as she hit eighteen, it would be her responsibility. She doubted Logan was going to let her stay that long, as nice as he was.

This made sense, as much as she hated it. Her and Jaxon's fighting wasn't a good environment for the kids, and she knew that the older ones were getting irritated as well, and she couldn't stop.

She didn't hate him...

...Maybe she did.

It was his fault she was leaving. It was all his fault.

She would miss them, but they would be fine. She didn't know where she was going to go- certainly not back to Emily's house, though she could possibly take her old one if nobody moved in. Or maybe that was too obvious. She wasn't old enough to legally own a house.

If she left- when she left- she likely wasn't going to know whether Elliot would be okay. She couldn't just take him, after all. If he woke up, he was going to be so pissed at her.

But Elliot was going to be fine. Dylan's weird spooky voodoo shit was keeping him alive, Cass's healing magic was keeping the wound stable. He'd be fine.

She walked across the street with the younger two, to where Logan's house was. Her hand was heavy, as she unlocked the door, pushing it open for what could have been the last time.

Leo still had to finish packing. She was leaving for a friend's house in just six hours now. Six hours left.

She would finish packing, go see her brother, wait until seven o'clock that afternoon, talk to Jaxon, and then she was going to leave.

...Leo found packing to be quite upsetting.

She tried to focus. She had done this before, when she left Emily's house. Back then, five months ago now, Leo had been rushing, there had been a sense of urgency. She needed to get out.

This time, Leo was slow. She didn't want to leave, not really. This wasn't fair.

Leo tried to convince herself that she could get by just fine on her own. She barely talked to Cass before they left for New Hampshire, she barely talked to Kai or Marcy before they left. She only met the others five months ago. Leo's aunt and uncle- she could argue that she spent more time with them than her sister and cousins before they left, and they were hardly around. Leo took care of herself just fine before, she'd be fine now.

In one year and six months, Leo would be eighteen. That was old enough to buy a house, probably. At least, rent something. Leo could manage a year and a half. This wouldn't be hard.

"I'm sorry," was what Leo managed to say to her brother, still asleep. Leo adjusted the stuffed rabbit on his bed to be closer to him. Elliot didn't stir. Leo sighed a little. "I don't think I'm coming back. You'll be okay, won't you?"

"You will..." Leo continued. "You'll be fine. I'm sorry. This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. Maybe I'll come back someday? I don't know."

If Elliot chose that specific moment to wake up, he'd be able to get Leo to stay. She knew that, and she hoped that he would choose that specific moment to wake up.

Leo took a final look at her brother, and left.

---

Something was up.

Jaxon didn't trust Leo at all. He kicked a pebble on the sidewalk, watching it bounce to the street. In the garden, he could see Leo sitting on the marble fountain, waiting for him.

After dinner (she was acting weird. She thanked Logan for letting her siblings stay there for so long, she looked near-tears as she claimed she was going to a friend's house, with a bag slung over her shoulder.) she had asked Jaxon to meet her in the garden, saying she wanted to talk.

Jaxon crossed the street. Crickets chirped in the dark silence, there was a quiet mumbling among people still walking this late in the night, the wind provided a cool breeze. The streetlights provided a faint, white light on the street. Cars drove past, wheels splashing against puddles from an earlier rain.

There was no gate to the garden. It was simply rows of dirt with flowers planted. Bushes formed arches, grown around curved wires and neatly trimmed, about five of them led to the marble fountain.

This was Dylan's favorite spot, the quietest part of the city. Dylan watered the flowers here in the spring and summer. They had met Cass here, which had led to the twins staying over.

Leo hopped down from where she sat on the fountain, walking towards him. Jaxon glared at the gravel trail beneath his feet. A petal laid on the ground. Aconite, wolfsbane. A poisonous flower.

A deadly foe is near. Jaxon always liked that particular flower. The meaning of it, he only remembered because Dylan got super into it once when they were nine. Jaxon remembered that specific one, because it sounded like a video game's final boss. He thought that was cool.

Leo was about five feet away, hands in her pockets, head hung low, expression unreadable.

"Leo," Jaxon startled himself with how low his own voice got. "I'm not in the mood-"

"I'm not going to fight." Leo's voice was dangerously monotonous, though it wavered a little. "I'm leaving. I wanted to apologize first."

Jaxon blinked, heart dropping a little. "You're... what?"

"I'm leaving," Leo repeated, harsher this time. "I'm not coming back, so I wanted to talk to you before I go."

Acid rose in his throat. His heart pounded. A thick knot in his throat made it impossible to speak. "You're- you're just going to leave?"

Leo nodded. Like she didn't even care. Jaxon took a few breaths, they came out shaking. Tears stung at his eyes. He wasn't going to cry-

He gritted his teeth, breathing grew sharp and unsteady. "You can't just do that! You can't just leave because things got a bit harder!"

Leo flinched backwards, gold eyes became cold and narrowed. Jaxon tensed, nails biting into his palms.

"That's the exact same fucking thing you did!" Leo made a wide gesture with her arms. "What the fuck are you talking about? What's the difference?"

"I came back!" Jaxon took a step forward. "You're just leaving. Were you ever going to tell them?"

Leo didn't say anything. He was standing closer to her now. She was still six inches taller than he was. Leo's hands curled into fists, but her expression softened a little as she looked at something in the distance.

"Jaxon, Ryan's here..."

Jaxon whirled around, and sure enough, Ryan was hiding behind a streetlight, watching the fight. He noticed Jaxon staring at him, and recoiled, trying to make himself smaller. Jaxon winced. He knew what Leo was going to do.

And then, a hard punch to the side of the head sent him straight to the ground.

Jaxon barely had the time to brace himself for the impact, slamming into the gravel. For a moment, he was disoriented, having to blink to relocate himself. His palms stung.

Jaxon forced himself to stand, moving slowly, stunned.

Leo didn't move, didn't speak, stared with burning, yellow eyes. Red sparks flew from clenched fists. She wouldn't...

Jaxon lunged forward and knocked Leo to the ground. A crack echoed through the park, as Leo managed a kick to the stomach. Jaxon gasped, falling on his side. Leo hovered over him. He grabbed a handful of gravel, she stumbled back as the small rocks hit her face.

He managed to stand back up, shaking, breathing quick and painful, and glanced up in time to be shoved back to the ground, back digging into the sharp rocks.

Jaxon knocked her down with a kick to the knee. He was losing. Jaxon stood up. His fist collided with Leo's face, and for a moment, the sharp, pulsing agony of feeling his fingers crack distracted him. Her nose was bleeding now, bent awkwardly.

She grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie, he heard the fabric begin to rip, and suddenly, colors blurred around him, and a sharp pain- the fountain- collided with the back of his head, and he slumped over, vision fading.

Leo left.

#pushing my autistic dylan agenda #i didnt mean to make kai and jaxon so gay for each other it just sort of happened #it was in the original outline that i was going off of #but u know what its cool #petition to give ryan a break 2023 #been waiting to write that fight scene for SO LONG-#ive been foreshadowing it since forget me not chapter eleven i think #but it was so hard to build up to #i got stuck on kai's last scene in this chapter. got stuck really badly #and then i had to take my brother to urban outfitters for three hours and i came up with something #who even reads these tags other than me #In theory I love fight chapters in practice fuck fight chapters #ryan watching leo and jaxons fight reminds me of the 'can i PLEASE get a waffle' vine #bro just standing there 🧍‍♂️#and jaxons literally about to die #leo speedruns backwards through her character development #writing #original work #original characters #writeblr

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jaybe11 · 3 years

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he music business is full of hard-luck stories, but no Austin band rose faster and fell harder than metal band Pariah in the 1990s. Like Guns N’ Roses three years earlier, they were signed to Geffen Records by golden boy talent scout Tom Zutaut. But there were no multiplatinum records or stadium tours for the former classmates at Clark High School in San Antonio.

“We were on the label for five years and have only one album to show for it,” said singer Dave Derrick. “It was a frustrating time, to say the least.”

After relocating to Austin in 1990, Pariah regularly sold out 1,000-capacity venues, but on their final show, soon after officially being dropped by Geffen in 1995, they played to less than 300 at their home club, the Back Room.

Two weeks later, the band’s bassist and driving force, Sims Ellison, put a shotgun to his face and pulled the trigger.

But in taking his own life, Ellison, who suffered from anxiety and depression for years, eventually helped save the lives of other musicians. His suicide was the inspiration for the SIMS Foundation, which provides low-cost mental health services to uninsured musicians who, because of irregular working hours, low pay, easy access to alcohol and drugs and often-volatile intraband relationships, have a unique set of psychological needs.

“Anytime SIMS sets up anywhere in the public, we have at least one person come up to us and say they wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for SIMS,” said Tricia Forbes, executive director of the foundation.

Ellison didn’t drink or smoke, but the band was his life. When it crumbled and his mates, including younger brother Kyle Ellison, went their separate ways after nearly 10 years of constant camaraderie, it was apparently too much for 28-year-old Sims Ellison. On top of that, his girlfriend of nearly three years, then-unknown actress Renee Zellweger, had broken up with him six months earlier.

“I miss him every day,” says Pariah singer Dave Derrick, who will play a Pariah tribute set Saturday at the Austin Music Hall as part of the 15th anniversary SIMS Foundation Benefit Bash. “It bothers me that most people only remember Sims as the guy who killed himself, if they know him at all. He was the sweetest guy you could meet, with a goofy sense of humor. He spent every waking hour working on making Pariah as successful as possible.”Pariah drummer Shandon Sahm, who currently plays with the Meat Puppets, recalls Sims Ellison as full of nervous energy. “He used to say, ‘If you ain’t stressed, it ain’t happening,’” said Sahm, the youngest son of Texas music legend Doug Sahm.

“If he was in a place where people knew him as Sims, the bass player for Pariah, he was totally cool,” said Derrick. “But if he was in any other social situation, he couldn’t cope. He’d show up at a backyard barbecue and pace for 10 minutes and leave.” Derrick said he never saw Sims Ellison finish a plate of food. “He would constantly stir his food, but not eat it.”

Derrick wondered if two middle school incidents forged Sims Ellison’s social phobia. “When he was about in eighth grade he bought a Mötley Crüe T-shirt at a concert and was robbed of it at knife-point in the bathroom. Then a few months later, a bully went up to him at the mall in front of his friends and cold-cocked Sims for no reason. Knocked him out just to show off,” Derrick said. “He knew that, as a member of Pariah, he was protected — no one was going to hurt him.”

The three years with Zellweger, when the band was signed to Geffen, were Sims Ellison’s happiest, Sahm said. Zellweger’s best friend at the time, her “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation” co-star Lisa Newmyer, dated Kyle Ellison, younger than Sims by three years, and the four practically lived together at the Railyard Apartments downtown.

In December 1994, Zellweger split with Sims Ellison and moved to LA, where “Jerry Maguire” would make her a star less than two years later.

Derrick said Sims Ellison bought himself a shotgun for Christmas that month.

Meanwhile, Geffen Records had decided to drop Pariah and pay the band $50,000 to dissolve the two-album deal. The band, rounded out by guitarist Jared Tuten, decided to take a hiatus after one last show at the Back Room.

“Sims was really bummed about everything,” said Derrick, “and I told him he really should get a dog. His eyes lit up and he said, ‘That’s a great idea!’” That was the last time Derrick saw Sims Ellison, who got a job at Urban Outfitters on the Drag two weeks before his death.

“Some people were theorizing that he killed himself because Renee left him or because the band was being dropped, but it was deeper than that,” Derrick said. “Being on Geffen was worse than being dropped by Geffen. That wasn’t it. There was something inside him that none of us could see. You play it back in your head, like ‘I should’ve done this or done that,’ but the truth is that we were all in shock when it happened.”

David Garza, who will serve as music director for Saturday’s benefit, is one of thousands of Austin musicians helped by the assistance program inspired by the Sims Ellison tragedy. “I was having a hard time a few years ago with a personal relationship and with my label,” said Garza, who released two critically acclaimed but soft-selling albums on Atlantic in 1998 and 2001. “I was raised Mexican American Catholic. We didn’t go to therapy — that was for weirdos. If you had a problem, you went to confession.” But Garza had musician friends who’d been helped by SIMS, which provides counseling and psychiatric services and refers clients to a network of 60 therapists and treatment centers that charge greatly reduced rates. With an operating budget of $600,000 a year (about 25 percent of which comes from KGSR’s “Broadcasts” CD), SIMS helps an estimated 600 Austin musicians a year.

Obviously, such musician-aimed services weren’t available to Pariah, whose disappointing career could be summed up by the night in early ’94 when the members gathered around the TV to watch their video for “Powerless” debut on MTV’s “Headbangers Ball.” They waited and waited for almost three hours until just before 2 a.m., when their video aired, the last one of the night.

Signed after a South by Southwest showcase in 1990, Pariah had to wait almost three years until the release of “To Mock a Killing Bird” in 1993. In between, Nirvana exploded and grunge made Pariah’s brand of glam metal obsolete.

“Pariah had the worst timing ever,” said the band’s co-manager Wayne Nagel, who founded the SIMS Foundation in June 1995 with his Austin Rehearsal Complex partner Don Harvey and Sims’ father, Houston oil engineer Don Ellison. “If the record had come out the year after they were signed, it would’ve been a whole different story.” Instead the band was forced to wait more than two years while Geffen threw all its clout and resources into the much-delayed Guns N’ Roses “Use Your Illusion” two-album project.

“Sims was saying, ‘What are we going to do? Metal’s not cool anymore,‘” Sahm said of one of Ellison’s obsessions. “We started off as a hard rock band like Guns N’ Roses and somewhere along the line we turned into Smashing Pumpkins. Still, I think we were getting better as a band by expanding our horizons.”

Geffen didn’t see it that way, according to Nagel. “Zutaut was the king of metal,” Nagel said of the A&R man who signed Mötley Crüe and Metallica before Guns N’ Roses. “He wanted the band to keep it metal.”

Treated like kings by Geffen before “To Mock a Killing Bird” came out, the band couldn’t get phone calls returned when the album didn’t take off.

Pariah met Zutaut, who did not answer an e-mail request for comment, backstage at SXSW 1990 after a scorching set at the Back Room. “He said he didn’t have time to sign another band, but that, just by him coming backstage, we were going to get signed,” Sahm said, with a laugh.

Nagel said Pariah received eight offers from labels after that SXSW appearance. It turns out that Zutaut did sign Pariah to Geffen, but he wasn’t kidding about being too busy. “It was all about Guns N’ Roses,” said Derrick. “We weren’t the only band put on hold.”

Sahm said, looking back, the band should’ve signed with Chrysalis, who Photoshopped a group photo of the band so they looked at home inside the label’s headquarters. “They loved our song ‘Shatter Me’ and were ready to put it out to radio right away. But instead we went with the big shot. Chrysalis couldn’t give us a $100,000 advance, but Geffen did.” The label also gave Pariah a $250,000 recording budget that soared to $500,000 by the time the album was finished at Madonna’s Maverick recording studio in LA. (Sims Ellison hit it off with Madonna and appeared in her “Deeper and Deeper” video.)

“We were young and stupid,” Derrick said of signing with Geffen for the upfront money. “But we were all in it together. If there was any motto with Pariah, it was ‘The band comes first.’”

The SIMS Foundation, named after a lovable, yet troubled Austin musician, was formed for what comes next.

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mattygraygubler · 4 years

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our campus: chapter 5 (tom holland fic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: drinking, cursing, mentions of sex, making out

word count: 3.3k

a/n: the end to this was tough

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“Y/N, you may wanna slow down...” Isabelle said as you downed your third shot.

“C’mon it’s delt… I need something to help face my fear.”

“Y/N we really don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Emily said. You shook your head.

“Nope. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll finally get frat bingo.” Isabelle laughed and you all grabbed your various phones and keys and headed downstairs to grab the uber.

Black outs, and theme parties in general, people tended to go a little nuts for. Everyone brought their best. Like dchi’s toga party a few weeks ago? The image of Kyle wearing a bed sheet is burned into your mind forever.

Isabelle, never one to wear a dress, was wearing a black lace bodysuit (you insisted it was lingerie but she ignored you) with a pair of black flare jeans over it. For Ally, every day was a blackout party, so she wore one of her many black dresses, this one a velvet flare. Emily couldn’t wear all black, it wasn’t in her nature, so she wore an adorable black babydoll dress with little blue flowers all over it.

And you? You pulled out all the stops. Your dress was simple, a black mini dress from urban outfitters, but you spent years looking for the perfect LBD and this was it. It hugged your body in all the right places, you didn’t wear it too often, but when you did you felt like a 10.

You all piled in the uber and were on your way to the house, which wasn’t a far walk from campus, but you were already running late. It was already past 11:30, the party started at 11. It was typical for your friend group to make a fashionably late entrance.

When you got there it was almost 11:45. You made your way to the back of the house where two brothers stood at the back door, one with a clipboard in his hands, the other rolling a joint.

“Evening, ladies,” one of them said. Emily smiled, introduced herself and you guys, and they were soon letting you in.

You walked inside and noticed the party was already in high gear. It wasn’t packed, thanks to the list, but there were a lot of people hanging around, drinking, some playing beer pong, some dancing, others making out on the couch.

Immediately Harrison noticed Emily and came up to give her a kiss on the cheek. He greeted you all very friendly, kissing the backs of your hands.

This kid was not like Tom at all.

Speaking of… You didn’t want to admit it but you noticed him almost immediately. There were a lot of guys looking at your group, probably because you weren’t regulars to delt parties, but one boy in particular couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

You felt his stare on your body, and you finally looked to make eye contact with him. He was at the beer pong table, but he stopped paying attention to the game.

You couldn’t help it, but you bit your lip. He looked… well, hot. Incredibly hot, even though he was just wearing ripped black jeans and a black tee shirt.

“Harrison!” You said, turning your attention away from Tom. “I need a shot of tequila and a rum and orange soda.” Harrison laughed.

“A girl that knows what she wants, I like it. Follow me ladies.” The four of you followed him to the kitchen where a makeshift bar was set up. You groaned internally when you realized who one of the boys was behind it.

“Y/N!” Dan said with a smile. “You’re the last person I expected to see here.”

“Well, everyone changes, Danny. Could I have-” “Lemme guess. A shot of tequila and a vodka orange soda?”

“Rum and orange soda, but very close.” Danny laughed as he poured you the drinks. Isabelle and Ally both had beers in their hands and were behind you, talking to each other while Emily and Harrison appeared to be in their own little world.

“I’m Noah,” the kid next to Danny said. He was a typical frat boy, but you were surprised. So far every delt boy you’ve seen was… very attractive.

“Y/N,” you heard a voice behind you. Max put his hand on the small of your back.

“Hi!” You greeted happily.

“I’m glad you came. Wanna dance?” he asked. You nodded, downed the shot of tequila and headed for the dance floor, not before you saw Dan hand Max a five dollar bill.

Max held your hand as you led him towards the room where people were dancing. It was much louder in here. Immediately you made your way close to the DJ, which was really a delt boy with a baseball cap and soundcloud. Max put his hands on your waist and you started to dance back and forth.

You sipped your drink, realizing you were five drinks in, and were starting to feel great. The room was spinning, in a good way, the music was so loud you could feel it in your chest.

“If I was straight, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you,” Max said into your ear and you laughed. “Besides, one of my brothers already called dibs.”

The smile left your face immediately. Did Tom call dibs on you?! Danny?! You looked at Max’s face and he could tell you were confused.

“Noah. You met him at the bar earlier.” You grinned. Nothing to worry about.

After what felt like an hour of dancing, you and Max were both sweating and decided to go back to the rest of the party. On your way out of the dance floor, Max holding your hand again, you spied Tom on the end of the circle, a girl sucking on his neck. He looked like he was enjoying it, until he saw you. You looked away as soon as you made eye contact and let Max drag you back to the rest of the party.

Tom could let anyone he wanted suck on his neck. Why should that bother you?

You quickly let that thought leave your mind when you saw Noah and another boy waiting at the pong table.

“Pong?” Max asked. You grinned.

“Hope you can keep up, Parum.” You said. Noah was playing with a boy named Cal, who looked like a nerd with glasses and a band teeshirt, but was 100% Isabelle’s type. Boys that were totally below her league made her go crazy.

You and Max were an amazing pong team. He was a lefty and you were a righty so you had the sides of the table you preferred, and were totally kicking ass. Once Noah and Cal started to lose, they totally just collapsed.

You sank the final cup and Max quickly wrapped his hands around your waist, picking you up and spinning you around. You laughed but yelled for him to put you down before you vomited.

“Alright rematch.” Noah said immediately. This kid was almost as competitive as you.

“Seriously? You’re already ready to get your ass kicked again?” You asked.

“Feisty, I like it.” Noah said and took a step closer to you. You stepped closer to him too.

“Shot gun contest.” He said.

“You’re on.” You said. He nodded, a cocky grin on his face. It’s been a while since you shotgunned, but what’s the worst thing that could happen?

A crowd had gathered, more of their brothers, who obviously knew Noah had dibs on you, Ally and Isabelle, who had befriended a few boys, and Emily, who was leaning on Harrison, giggling and already drunk out of her mind.

Cal handed you and Noah each a beer.

“Care to make this interesting, Y/N?” Noah asked.

“How much were you thinking?” You replied.

“Not how much. I win, you have to kiss me.” All the frat brothers said ‘ooooo’, but you just laughed.

“And if I win?” You asked.

“I have to kiss you.” He said and you laughed.

“No way.”

“Fine. $20 bucks if I lose, if I win, you have to kiss me.” You groaned, delt boys had formed a circle around you and were edging you on.

“Deal.” You said and shook his hand. He pulled your hand, bringing your body towards him and kissed your cheek.

“Just a taste of what’s to come.” He said with a wink.

You got passed a pair of keys and punctured a whole in the can.

“Em, would you do the honors?” You asked. Emily stepped into the circle, pulling the neckscarf off her neck and waving it like at a racetrack.

“THREE… TWO… ONE… GO!” You quickly brought the bottle up to your lips, popping the cap and tilting your head back as you guzzled the beer.

In just a few seconds, Noah crushed his empty can and dropped it to the floor, beating you by barely ONE SECOND.

Everyone was cheering, and Noah looked at you.

“Sorry, babe,” he said with a grin. You smiled, walked up to him, and wrapped your arms around his neck. Immediately his strong arms were around your waist, pulling your body onto his, and dripping you on your back. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you were making out as he dipped you, your arms still around his neck. The kiss tasted like beer, but his hands were strong.

After a few seconds, you finally became aware of the shouting and whooping from around you. You laughed, hiding your face in Noah’s neck as he stopped dipping you, but didn’t take his arms away from you.

“You wanna head upstairs?” He whispered in your ear. You turned to your friends, who were right on the edge of the circle.

“One sec.” You replied, took two steps to your friends and had a hushed conversation.

“So you’re about to win, N/N,” Isabelle said with a giggle.

“What are you talking about?”

“Frat bingo!” She said with a smile. You rolled your eyes.

“Will you guys be pissed if I stay over?”

“No way!” Emily said.

“Are you staying Em?” You asked. She shook her head, you should’ve expected that much.

“Y/N, please be safe, and call if you need anything.” Ally said. You smiled and turned back to Noah who was waiting in the center of the circle.

“So?” He asked, still smirking.

“So you said something about upstairs?” He grinned and picked you up bridal style. You screamed with a smile and a laugh as he made comments about winning, and not to wait up, on his way to the stairs.

You got to his bedroom, immediately you pushed him down and climbed on his lap, making out. It wasn’t long until you ripped off his shirt, and he was pulling your dress over your head.

He was hot, and a good kisser. Plus, you’d do anything to get Tom and his stupid ripped jeans and tight black tee out of your mind.

You didn’t know how long you were up there, but soon you were unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down. He was grabbing your boobs, leaving you hickeys everywhere he could.

It was a few minutes before you realized what was happening. You looked at Noah’s face, the smile he was wearing all night had disappeared.

“Uhm… I think I may have drank too much…” he said quietly, referring to the fact that he couldn’t get hard, despite you being practically naked on top of him.

“Hey it happens,” you said.

“You know, I could uhm,” he looked down and you realized what he was implying. However, you hadn’t shaved and hated having boys go down on you when you weren’t prepared. It was a weird thing.

“It’s ok, I’ll go,” you said and started to get up. He grabbed your arm, pulling you back down and kissing you.

“Stay,” he said and kissed you again. “Please.”

“Fine,” you said with a grin. “But if you try to tell anyone we had sex, I’ll tell them exactly what happened tonight. I can also make sure no other girl at this school ever goes down on you again.” He laughed, throwing his head back. You realized that you actually really enjoyed his laugh.

“Y/N, you have nothing to worry about. I’m not like-” He faltered and knew exactly what he was going to say: Tom. “I’m not like other guys.” He finished and kissed you again.

You stayed practically naked, your bodies intertwined, kissing and making out until eventually dozing off.

* * *

Your body woke you up at 9, which you were grateful for. Staying past 9am in a frat house is never a good idea.

You slipped on your dress, trying to quietly pull on your shoes without waking Noah.

“Hey,” he said groggily. “Where do you think you’re sneaking off to?” “Shhhh,” you said, giving him a soft kiss on the lips. “Last night was fun, but I have homework calling my name.”

“Here,” he said and got up, grabbing one of his tee shirts for you to wear. You pulled it over your head and were grateful it was so large and gave you more coverage. A walk of shame was embarrassing enough, but you hated being seen in skimpy nightwear during the day time.

“Thanks,” You said and found yourself smiling again.

“I don’t normally say this, but would you maybe wanna do this again sometime?”

“My numbers already in your phone, baby,” you said and kissed his cheek. He fell back on his bed.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You said, one foot out the door.

“I think you may be my dream girl.” You just laughed.

“Get some sleep,” you said and started to make your way quietly down the steps so you wouldn’t wake any of Noah’s brothers.

You were almost home free when you reached the living room and saw the last person you wanted to see: Tom. He was sitting up on the couch, his head in his hands. He looked up when you walked into the room and you made eye contact.

“Hi,” he said, his voice raspy from just waking up. God, he was so hot.

“Hi,” you replied.

“So you and Noah got along well then.” He managed to choke out. “Nice shirt.”

“Yeah... Anything happen with the redhead?” You said. You bit your lip, regretting showing him that you noticed him at all last night. He gestured around the empty room.

“Does it look like anything happened?”

“Sorry. I better go, I’ll see you tomorrow?” His head was in his hands again and you didn’t hear what he muttered.

You had finally got the door open and were about to be free when you heard him again.

“Y/N?” He asked, his voice breaking a bit. You turned to look at him.

“Yeah?” He broke your eye contact.

“Nevermind. See you tomorrow.” He muttered and you bolted out the door.

Walks of shame were never good, and ubers of shame were not much better. If another uber driver chuckled and said “had a nice night, I see” to you, you would lose it.

Thankfully you made it home and jumped right in the shower, but texted the group first.

♡girly girls♡

You

just got back, gotta shower, hearst cafeteria in 30 mins

Your friends all liked the message and you jumped into the hot water.

* * *

Saturdays were for no makeup, sweatshirts, glasses, and mountains of homework. Your friends had already made themselves more than comfortable in your booth in the cafeteria, surrounded by pancakes, coffees, notebooks, and laptops. Just like every Saturday.

You tried to bite into the pancakes they had gotten for you, but Isabelle pulled the plate away.

“You can have food after you spill the tea.” You groaned. You not-so-secretly hated that expression. You proceeded to tell them what happened with Noah, including his unfortunate… flaccid accident.

“And then he gave me his shirt and he called me his dream girl and asked if he could see me again.” You finished.

“Y/N!” Emily said giddily. “That is absolutely fantastic! Unfortunately no frat bingo though.” You laughed.

“Can I have my pancakes now?” You asked.

“Nope. There’s more.” Isabelle said.

“What? No there’s not.” “Yes, Y/N, there is.” You silently cursed yourself. Isabelle could smell a lie from a mile away. It was her gift.

“Fine. There’s more.” You said and told them about the awkward interaction with Tom in the morning.

“Holy fuck.” Ally said after a beat of silence. “He’s into you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Al,” you said as you stole your plate back from Isabelle and greedily dug in.

“Nope, he is absolutely one hundo percent into you.” Isabelle said.

“There’s no way.”

“Oooo!” Emily said. “I’ll text Harrison!”

“Emily Gold don’t you dare.” You said.

“He’s already texted me, like, ten times today, I need to respond at some point.”

“Fine but I get to craft the message.” You said.

“No way.”

“Fine, let Isabelle do it.” You said. Once again Isabelle was the level headed one your group desperately needed.

When she was done, she handed you Emily’s phone.

You (emily)

last night was fun, id love to see you again too

btw is everything ok with your friend tom? Y/N said he looked really sick this morning

“Fine.” You replied and hit send. It was only a few minutes before the bing came in, alerting you all Harrison had texted back.

Harrison<3

dinner tomorrow?

and he got dumped over winter break, hasnt been the same since

well except for this week, he really seemed to be doing good this week, but something mustve happened last night to set him off

he should get back to our room soon, its sweet of you to ask about him

“Wow, he’s whipped.” You said after reading the message. Emily simply giggled.

“Y/N, you realize what this means right?” Ally asked. You sighed, knowing a ridiculous theory was about to spew from her mouth.

“No, Al, what does this mean?” You said sarcastically.

“He was in a good mood after he met you, and when he saw you with another guy he was in a bad mood again! He’s obviously super into you.” You groaned.

“Al that’s insane. I barely know the guy, I’m sure his drama is completely unrelated.” Your friends all gave you skeptical looks.

“Whatever, I like Noah and I’m gonna see where this goes. Can I eat in peace now?”

* * *

Saturday passed and it wasn’t long until you all found yourselves at the delta chi party. You weren’t drinking, as you still had a ton of homework to do and were still secretly trying to be dchi sweetheart, which meant being responsible.

“What’s wrong babe?” Kyle asked approaching you. You were sitting on the kitchen counter talking to the boys at the bar and sipping on a soda.

“Nothing!” You said and plastered a smile on your face.

“Uh uh, nope, somethings wrong.”

“Ky, I’m fine. Just stressed about school and stuff.” Your phone pinged beside you and before you could stop him, Kyle grabbed it.

“Whose Noah?” Kyle asked. You grabbed your phone back, reading the message.

Noah

miss u babe

this party is boring why dont u come over

You and Noah had been texting on and off all day, nothing super serious, just little flirty messages.

“He’s no one.” You replied.

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Kyle said and raised his eye brows. You just rolled your eyes.

“Leave it, Ky.”

“Y/N!” You heard a voice call. Sam, president of delta chi, stumbled into the room.

“Hi, Sam,” you greeted with a smile.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said.

“Me too.”

“You know we’re voting tomorrow.” He said with a wink.

“Is that so?” You replied.

“So expect a phone call tomorrow night.” He said before leaving the room with 2 fresh beers.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

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