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eyrieofsynapses · 4 months

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why Aurora's art is genius

It's break for me, and I've been meaning to sit down and read the Aurora webcomic (https://comicaurora.com/, @comicaurora on Tumblr) for quite a bit. So I did that over the last few days.

And… y'know. I can't actually say "I should've read this earlier," because otherwise I would've been up at 2:30-3am when I had responsibilities in the morning and I couldn't have properly enjoyed it, but. Holy shit guys THIS COMIC.

I intended to just do a generalized "hello this is all the things I love about this story," and I wrote a paragraph or two about art style. …and then another. And another. And I realized I needed to actually reference things so I would stop being too vague. I was reading the comic on my tablet or phone, because I wanted to stay curled up in my chair, but I type at a big monitor and so I saw more details… aaaaaand it turned into its own giant-ass post.

SO. Enjoy a few thousand words of me nerding out about this insanely cool art style and how fucking gorgeous this comic is? (There are screenshots, I promise it isn't just a wall of text.) In my defense, I just spent two semesters in graphic design classes focusing on the Adobe Suite, so… I get to be a nerd about pretty things…???

All positive feedback btw! No downers here. <3

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I cannot emphasize enough how much I love the beautiful, simple stylistic method of drawing characters and figures. It is absolutely stunning and effortless and utterly graceful—it is so hard to capture the sheer beauty and fluidity of the human form in such a fashion. Even a simple outline of a character feels dynamic! It's gorgeous!

Though I do have a love-hate relationship with this, because my artistic side looks at that lovely simplicity, goes "I CAN DO THAT!" and then I sit down and go to the paper and realize that no, in fact, I cannot do that yet, because that simplicity is born of a hell of a lot of practice and understanding of bodies and actually is really hard to do. It's a very developed style that only looks simple because the artist knows what they're doing. The human body is hard to pull off, and this comic does so beautifully and makes it look effortless.

Also: line weight line weight line weight. It's especially important in simplified shapes and figures like this, and hoo boy is it used excellently. It's especially apparent the newer the pages get—I love watching that improvement over time—but with simpler figures and lines, you get nice light lines to emphasize both smaller details, like in the draping of clothing and the curls of hair—which, hello, yes—and thicker lines to emphasize bigger and more important details and silhouettes. It's the sort of thing that's essential to most illustrations, but I wanted to make a note of it because it's so vital to this art style.

THE USE OF LAYER BLENDING MODES OH MY GODS. (...uhhh, apologies to the people who don't know what that means, it's a digital art program thing? This article explains it for beginners.)

Bear with me, I just finished my second Photoshop course, I spent months and months working on projects with this shit so I see the genius use of Screen and/or its siblings (of which there are many—if I say "Screen" here, assume I mean the entire umbrella of Screen blending modes and possibly Overlay) and go nuts, but seriously it's so clever and also fucking gorgeous:

Firstly: the use of screened-on sound effect words over an action? A "CRACK" written over a branch and then put on Screen in glowy green so that it's subtle enough that it doesn't disrupt the visual flow, but still sticks out enough to make itself heard? Little "scritches" that are transparent where they're laid on without outlines to emphasize the sound without disrupting the underlying image? FUCK YES. I haven't seen this done literally anywhere else—granted, I haven't read a massive amount of comics, but I've read enough—and it is so clever and I adore it. Examples:

Secondly: The beautiful lighting effects. The curling leaves, all the magic, the various glowing eyes, the fog, the way it's all so vividly colored but doesn't burn your eyeballs out—a balance that's way harder to achieve than you'd think—and the soft glows around them, eeeee it's so pretty so pretty SO PRETTY. Not sure if some of these are Outer/Inner Glow/Shadow layer effects or if it's entirely hand-drawn, but major kudos either way; I can see the beautiful use of blending modes and I SALUTE YOUR GENIUS.

I keep looking at some of this stuff and go "is that a layer effect or is it done by hand?" Because you can make some similar things with the Satin layer effect in Photoshop (I don't know if other programs have this? I'm gonna have to find out since I won't have access to PS for much longer ;-;) that resembles some of the swirly inner bits on some of the lit effects, but I'm not sure if it is that or not. Or you could mask over textures? There's... many ways to do it.

If done by hand: oh my gods the patience, how. If done with layer effects: really clever work that knows how to stop said effects from looking wonky, because ugh those things get temperamental. If done with a layer of texture that's been masked over: very, very good masking work. No matter the method, pretty shimmers and swirly bits inside the bigger pretty swirls!

Next: The way color contrast is used! I will never be over the glowy green-on-black Primordial Life vibes when Alinua gets dropped into that… unconscious space?? with Life, for example, and the sharp contrast of vines and crack and branches and leaves against pitch black is just visually stunning. The way the roots sink into the ground and the three-dimensional sensation of it is particularly badass here:

Friggin. How does this imply depth like that. HOW. IT'S SO FREAKING COOL.

A huge point here is also color language and use! Everybody has their own particular shade, generally matching their eyes, magic, and personality, and I adore how this is used to make it clear who's talking or who's doing an action. That was especially apparent to me with Dainix and Falst in the caves—their colors are both fairly warm, but quite distinct, and I love how this clarifies who's doing what in panels with a lot of action from both of them. There is a particular bit that stuck out to me, so I dug up the panels (see this page and the following one https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-20-30/):

(Gods it looks even prettier now that I put it against a plain background. Also, appreciation to Falst for managing a bridal-carry midair, damn.)

The way that their colors MERGE here! And the immense attention to detail in doing so—Dainix is higher up than Falst is in the first panel, so Dainix's orange fades into Falst's orange at the base. The next panel has gold up top and orange on bottom; we can't really tell in that panel where each of them are, but that's carried over to the next panel—

—where we now see that Falst's position is raised above Dainix's due to the way he's carrying him. (Points for continuity!) And, of course, we see the little "huffs" flowing from orange to yellow over their heads (where Dainix's head is higher than Falst's) to merge the sound of their breathing, which is absurdly clever because it emphasizes to the viewer how we hear two sets of huffing overlaying each other, not one. Absolutely brilliant.

(A few other notes of appreciation to that panel: beautiful glows around them, the sparks, the jagged silhouette of the spider legs, the lovely colors that have no right to make the area around a spider corpse that pretty, the excellent texturing on the cave walls plus perspective, the way Falst's movements imply Dainix's hefty weight, the natural posing of the characters, their on-point expressions that convey exactly how fuckin terrifying everything is right now, the slight glows to their eyes, and also they're just handsome boys <3)

Next up: Rain!!!! So well done! It's subtle enough that it never ever disrupts the impact of the focal point, but evident enough you can tell! And more importantly: THE MIST OFF THE CHARACTERS. Rain does this irl, it has that little vapor that comes off you and makes that little misty effect that plays with lighting, it's so cool-looking and here it's used to such pretty effect!

One of the panel captions says something about it blurring out all the injuries on the characters but like THAT AIN'T TOO BIG OF A PROBLEM when it gets across the environmental vibes, and also that'd be how it would look in real life too so like… outside viewer's angle is the same as the characters', mostly? my point is: that's the environment!!! that's the vibes, that's the feel! It gets it across and it does so in the most pretty way possible!

And another thing re: rain, the use of it to establish perspective, particularly in panels like this—

—where we can tell we're looking down at Tynan due to the perspective on the rain and where it's pointing. Excellent. (Also, kudos for looking down and emphasizing how Tynan's losing his advantage—lovely use of visual storytelling.)

Additionally, the misting here:

We see it most heavily in the leftmost panel, where it's quite foggy as you would expect in a rainstorm, especially in an environment with a lot of heat, but it's also lightly powdered on in the following two panels and tends to follow light sources, which makes complete sense given how light bounces off particles in the air.

A major point of strength in these too is a thorough understanding of lighting, like rim lighting, the various hues and shades, and an intricate understanding of how light bounces off surfaces even when they're in shadow (we'll see a faint glow in spots where characters are half in shadow, but that's how it would work in real life, because of how light bounces around).

Bringing some of these points together: the fluidity of the lines in magic, and the way simple glowing lines are used to emphasize motion and the magic itself, is deeply clever. I'm basically pulling at random from panels and there's definitely even better examples, but here's one (see this page https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-16-33/):

First panel, listed in numbers because these build on each other:

The tension of the lines in Tess's magic here. This works on a couple levels: first, the way she's holding her fists, as if she's pulling a rope taut.

The way there's one primary line, emphasizing the rope feeling, accompanied by smaller ones.

The additional lines starbursting around her hands, to indicate the energy crackling in her hands and how she's doing a good bit more than just holding it. (That combined with the fists suggests some tension to the magic, too.) Also the variations in brightness, a feature you'll find in actual lightning. :D Additional kudos for how the lightning sparks and breaks off the metal of the sword.

A handful of miscellaneous notes on the second panel:

The reflection of the flames in Erin's typically dark blue eyes (which bears a remarkable resemblance to Dainix, incidentally—almost a thematic sort of parallel given Erin's using the same magic Dainix specializes in?)

The flowing of fabric in the wind and associated variation in the lineart

The way Erin's tattoos interact with the fire he's pulling to his hand

The way the rain overlays some of the fainter areas of fire (attention! to! detail! hell yeah!)

I could go on. I won't because this is a lot of writing already.

Third panel gets paragraphs, not bullets:

Erin's giant-ass "FWOOM" of fire there, and the way the outline of the word is puffy-edged and gradated to feel almost three-dimensional, plus once again using Screen or a variation on it so that the stars show up in the background. All this against that stunning plume of fire, which ripples and sparks so gorgeously, and the ending "om" of the onomatopoeia is emphasized incredibly brightly against that, adding to the punch of it and making the plume feel even brighter.

Also, once again, rain helping establish perspective, especially in how it's very angular in the left side of the panel and then slowly becomes more like a point to the right to indicate it's falling directly down on the viewer. Add in the bright, beautiful glow effects, fainter but no less important black lines beneath them to emphasize the sky and smoke and the like, and the stunningly beautiful lighting and gradated glows surrounding Erin plus the lightning jagging up at him from below, and you get one hell of an impactful panel right there. (And there is definitely more in there I could break down, this is just a lot already.)

And in general: The colors in this? Incredible. The blues and purples and oranges and golds compliment so well, and it's all so rich.

Like, seriously, just throughout the whole comic, the use of gradients, blending modes, color balance and hues, all the things, all the things, it makes for the most beautiful effects and glows and such a rich environment. There's a very distinct style to this comic in its simplified backgrounds (which I recognize are done partly because it's way easier and also backgrounds are so time-consuming dear gods but lemme say this) and vivid, smoothly drawn characters; the simplicity lets them come to the front and gives room for those beautiful, richly saturated focal points, letting the stylized designs of the magic and characters shine. The use of distinct silhouettes is insanely good. Honestly, complex backgrounds might run the risk of making everything too visually busy in this case. It's just, augh, so GORGEOUS.

Another bit, take a look at this page (https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-15-28/):

It's not quite as evident here as it is in the next page, but this one does some other fun things so I'm grabbing it. Points:

Once again, using different colors to represent different character actions. The "WHAM" of Kendal hitting the ground is caused by Dainix's force, so it's orange (and kudos for doubling the word over to add a shake effect). But we see blue layered underneath, which could be an environmental choice, but might also be because it's Kendal, whose color is blue.

And speaking off, take a look at the right-most panel on top, where Kendal grabs the spear: his motion is, again, illustrated in bright blue, versus the atmospheric screened-on orange lines that point toward him around the whole panel (I'm sure these have a name, I think they might be more of a manga thing though and the only experience I have in manga is reading a bit of Fullmetal Alchemist). Those lines emphasize the weight of the spear being shoved at him, and their color tells us Dainix is responsible for it.

One of my all-time favorite effects in this comic is the way cracks manifest across Dainix's body to represent when he starts to lose control; it is utterly gorgeous and wonderfully thematic. These are more evident in the page before and after this one, but you get a decent idea here. I love the way they glow softly, the way the fire juuuust flickers through at the start and then becomes more evident over time, and the cracks feel so realistic, like his skin is made of pottery. Additional points for how fire begins to creep into his hair.

A small detail that's generally consistent across the comic, but which I want to make note of here because you can see it pretty well: Kendal's eyes glow about the same as the jewel in his sword, mirroring his connection to said sword and calling back to how the jewel became Vash's eye temporarily and thus was once Kendal's eye. You can always see this connection (though there might be some spots where this also changes in a symbolic manner; I went through it quickly on the first time around, so I'll pay more attention when I inevitably reread this), where Kendal's always got that little shine of blue in his eyes the same as the jewel. It's a beautiful visual parallel that encourages the reader to subconsciously link them together, especially since the lines used to illustrate character movements typically mirror their eye color. It's an extension of Kendal.

Did I mention how ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL the colors in this are?

Also, the mythological/legend-type scenes are illustrated in familiar style often used for that type of story, a simple and heavily symbolic two-dimensional cave-painting-like look. They are absolutely beautiful on many levels, employing simple, lovely gradients, slightly rougher and thicker lineart that is nonetheless smoothly beautiful, and working with clear silhouettes (a major strength of this art style, but also a strength in the comic overall). But in particular, I wanted to call attention to a particular thing (see this page https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-12-4/):

The flowing symbolic lineart surrounding each character. This is actually quite consistent across characters—see also Life's typical lines and how they curl:

What's particularly interesting here is how these symbols are often similar, but not the same. Vash's lines are always smooth, clean curls, often playing off each other and echoing one another like ripples in a pond. You'd think they'd look too similar to Life's—but they don't. Life's curl like vines, and they remain connected; where one curve might echo another but exist entirely detached from each other in Vash's, Life's lines still remain wound together, because vines are continuous and don't float around. :P

Tahraim's are less continuous, often breaking up with significantly smaller bits and pieces floating around like—of course—sparks, and come to sharper points. These are also constants: we see the vines repeated over and over in Alinua's dreams of Life, and the echoing ripples of Vash are consistent wherever we encounter him. Kendal's dream of the ghost citizens of the city of Vash in the last few chapters is filled with these rippling, echoing patterns, to beautiful effect (https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-20-14/):

They ripple and spiral, often in long, sinuous curves, with smooth elegance. It reminds me a great deal of images of space and sine waves and the like. This establishes a definite feel to these different characters and their magic. And the thing is, that's not something that had to be done—the colors are good at emphasizing who's who. But it was done, and it adds a whole other dimension to the story. Whenever you're in a deity's domain, you know whose it is no matter the color.

Regarding that shape language, I wanted to make another note, too—Vash is sometimes described as chaotic and doing what he likes, which is interesting to me, because smooth, elegant curves and the color blue aren't generally associated with chaos. So while Vash might behave like that on the surface, I'm guessing he's got a lot more going on underneath; he's probably much more intentional in his actions than you'd think at a glance, and he is certainly quite caring with his city. The other thing is that this suits Kendal perfectly. He's a paragon character; he is kind, virtuous, and self-sacrificing, and often we see him aiming to calm others and keep them safe. Blue is such a good color for him. There is… probably more to this, but I'm not deep enough in yet to say.

And here's the thing: I'm only scratching the surface. There is so much more here I'm not covering (color palettes! outfits! character design! environment! the deities! so much more!) and a lot more I can't cover, because I don't have the experience; this is me as a hobbyist artist who happened to take a couple design classes because I wanted to. The art style to this comic is so clever and creative and beautiful, though, I just had to go off about it. <3

...brownie points for getting all the way down here? Have a cookie.

#aurora comic #aurora webcomic #comicaurora #art analysis #...I hope those are the right tags???#new fandom new tagging practices to learn ig #much thanks for something to read while I try to rest my wrists. carpal tunnel BAD. (ignore that I wrote this I've got braces ok it's fine)#anyway! I HAVE. MANY MORE THOUGHTS. ON THE STORY ITSELF. THIS LOVELY STORY #also a collection of reactions to a chunk of the comic before I hit the point where I was too busy reading to write anything down #idk how to format those tho #...yeet them into one post...???#eh I usually don't go off this much these days but this seems like a smaller tight-knit fandom so... might as well help build it?#and I have a little more time thanks to break so #oh yes also shoutout to my insanely awesome professor for teaching me all the technical stuff from this he is LOVELY #made an incredibly complex program into something comprehensible <3 #synapse talks

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trixstriforce · 8 months

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TP!Link is so complex to me, he is a puppet in very sense of the word imo

Link was always a question, at least to me, of a victim of circumstances vs a fated savior. TP!Link is the perfect example of both interwoven into a very interesting narrative that touches on themes like the sins of the father, legacy, and the consequences of colonialism

I think making TP!Link emo miss the mark, but he is a very very interesting guy to deconstruct w/ the quote from Majoras Mask "Your true face...What kind of face is it? I wonder...The face under the mask...Is that your true face?" after all, unlike most Links...he didnt chose to don the Hero's Tunic it was literally thrust upon him. theres a lot to be said about that i think

#link #twilight princess #loz #i have many thoughts about this guy #and i havent even beat the first temaple!!!!!!#the more i play and learn the more i jsut feel like the fandom has slept on the true potential #of unpacking all that burdens this link #fandom simplifies him a lot i think its tragic in it of itself #the fact a popualr blog can even claim tp is not about anything boggles my mind #like i get not getting all the possible subtext but it is so clearly a story about legacy and the sins of the father its just #astonishing anyone could miss the point so badly #in compelty related news i love vauging anyway play tp for clear skin and watered crops #trix posts #lore rambles

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septembersghost · 1 year

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Yesterday I listened to fine line from top to bottom to celebrate her birthday and I am once again pissed at grammys for snubbing her. Like FL was one of the best albums in 2019-20 and it deserved a nomination for AOTY(we know nothing could beat folklore but FL deserved to be on the list). I don't know how it only got 1 Grammy like........a lot of people found solace in her and she deserved big 4 nominations .

our vibes are so aligned, i listened to it from top to bottom yesterday too! many of the songs are really never out of rotation, but it had been a bit since i'd listened to the album all the way through, and yet again i was struck by what a brilliant record it is. just perfectly crafted from top to bottom; depicts a whole emotional journey; meaningful/insightful lyricism along with the complete bops; rich, quirky, interesting instrumentation/production (the glockenspiel in golden! the submarine and the bass in adore you! the horns in ws! the gospel choir in lights up! the harmonies in cherry! the piano line in falling! the cello in tbsl and when he blows out the match! the dulcimer he learned to play for canyon moon! i could go on!); impeccable vocals. my mom and i were talking about falling and how affecting it still is last week (and how beautiful, especially on headphones), and honestly it's true of fine line as a whole. to begin with golden, which is actual sunshine captured in music, to close with fine line being such a powerful track, both aching and cathartic. the way we'll be alright ended up carrying so many of us.

something i noticed looking at some posts/tweets for fine line yesterday was exactly what you said - so many people found solace in that record, it's like it created a safe, comforting place for us to go and spend some time when the world was heavy. as much as i can't imagine getting through 2020 without folklore, i can't without fine line either (and fine line was already really important to me, even at the end of 2019, the events of 2020 just added depth to that). folklore is a masterpiece and changed the trajectory of taylor's career in some ways, and it's so defining as a piece of art and culture, but that doesn't lessen fine line's worth! i genuinely love hs3 and find it a joy to listen to, but there's something so special and meaningful in fine line. i totally agree it merited more recognition. as his career grows, i wonder if it will be re-evaluated with time, like red has been for taylor (even before red tv). (it's a little wild that its grammy award came for arguably the weakest song on the record, even though it was the most popular. and i am by no means against watermelon sugar, i love it, but! the album is much more than that). the grammys are inexplicable and very political at times, and there's not necessarily rhyme or reason to what they decide is "deserving," as cool as it is to see our faves be nominated/win, the ultimate arbiters of how valuable any music is comes down to what it meant and continues to mean to us. that's the thing i think harry is aware of too, and why he celebrates it with us (the album is yours, i am yours; i love you every day, but especially today; pink and blue forever!), because he realizes how dear it is and that it was a real light amidst a lot of uncertainty and darkness. i'll never forget that.

#harry styles #fine line #i have thoughts about this but i don't want to derail the discussion in the reply itself so i shall tag essay it:#when stevie called fine line his rumours...yeah. and to me fine line is his red. the mastery of it. the depth of emotional highs and lows.#the gorgeous production. the fusion of many genres.#fine line crosses from sparkling pop with r&b influence to 70s rock inspiration to laurel canyon singer songwriter #it captures many different facets of love and self reflection and confessionals #it maps out a story from euphoric to heartbroken to healing #and then hs3 serves as his 1989 pivot. much more pure glistening pop less incisive but more palatable lyrics #massive breakout hit that's absolutely everywhere. new heights of popularity that sadly come with a bit of a downside #a bunch of awards and accolades and critical acclaim in the wake of the previous more intimate record being somewhat overlooked #the mirrors between that are so interesting to me #(adore you is his most perfect pop song like style is taylor's though which is why they match together so flawlessly)#anyway yes anon it's such a gem and i cherish it always #also love how you called fine line 'she' here that's so true she's my confidante she's my sunshine she's one of my best friends #she's so golden she's my strawberry lipstick state of mind my sunflower my sky never looked so blue my sunshine my temptress #she lives in daydreams with me #anonymous #letterbox

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fishofthewoods · 6 days

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I see a lot of people clowning on the people of Pelican Town for not repairing the community center themselves or clowning on Lewis for embezzling and. like. Those criticisms aren't entirely unfair. But I think instead of coming at it from a perspective of "why can't the townspeople do this" we should be asking "why and how can the farmer do this?"

Like. Think about it. The farmer arrives in Stardew Valley on the first day of spring. By the first day they're obviously different. By day five the spirits of the forest who haven't been seen by the townsfolk in years or generations are speaking to them. By the second week they've developed a rapport with the wizard that lives outside town.

In the spring they go foraging and find more than even Linus, who's spent so many years learning the ways of the valley. Maybe he knows, when he sees them walking back home. Maybe he looks at them and understands that they're different, chosen somehow.

In the summer they fish in the lakes and the ocean for hours on end, catching fish that even Willy's only ever heard of, fish that he thought were the stuff of legend. They pull up giants from the deep and mutated monstrosities from the sewers.

In the fall, their crops grow incredibly immense; pumpkins twice as tall as a person, big enough that someone could live inside. The farmer cuts it down with an axe without even batting an eye. Does Lewis wonder, when he checks the collection bin that night and finds it full to the brim with pumpkin flesh? What does he think? Does he even leave the money? Does he have the funds to pay the farmer millions of dollars for the massive amounts of wine they sell? Or is it someone--something--else entirely?

In the winter, the farmer delves into the mines. No one in Pelican Town has been down there in decades. No one in living memory has been to the bottom. The farmer gets there within the season. They return to the surface with stories of dwarven ruins and shadow people, stories they only tell to Vincent and Jas, whose retellings will be dismissed by the adults as flights of fancy. People walking by the entrance to the mines sometimes hear the farmer in there, speaking in a language no one can understand. Something speaks back.

The farmer speaks to the the wizard. They speak to the spirit of a bear inside a centuries-old stone. They speak to the shadow people and the dwarves, ancient enemies, and they try to mend the rift. They speak to the Junimos, ancient spirits of the forest and the river and the mountain. They taste the nectar of the stardrops and speak to the valley itself. They change Pelican Town, and they change the valley. Things are waking up.

And what does Evelyn think? She's the oldest person in the valley; she was here when the farmer's grandfather was young. (How old *is* she, anyway? She never seems to age. She doesn't remember the year she was born.) Does she see the farmer and think of their grandfather? Does she try to remember if he was like this too, strange and wild and given the gifts of the forest?

And does their grandfather haunt the valley? He haunts the farm, still there even after his death; his body died somewhere else, but his spirit could never stay away for long. Does Abigail, using her ouija board on a stormy night, almost drop the planchette when she realizes it's moving on its own? Does Shane, walking to work long before anyone else leaves their house, catch glimpses of a wispy figure floating through the town? Does the farmer know their grandfather came back to the place they both love so much?

Mr. Qi takes interest in the farmer. He's different, too; in a different way, maybe, but the principles are the same. They're both exceptional, and no matter what Qi says about it being hard work and dedication, they both know the truth: the world bends around the both of them, changing to fit their needs. Most people aren't visited by fairies or witches. Most people don't have meteorites crash in their yard. Most people couldn't chop down trees all day without a break or speak to bears and mice and frogs.

The farmer is different. The rules of the world don't work for them the way they work for everyone else. The farmer goes fishing and finds the stuff of fairy tales. The farmer goes mining and fights shadow beasts and flying snakes. The farmer looks at paths the townspeople walk every day and finds buried in the dirt relics of lost civilizations.

The farmer is a violent, irrepressible miracle, chosen by the valley and destined to return to it someday. Even if they'd never received the letter, they would've come home.

They always come home eventually.

#lich says shit #stardew valley #sorry for the stardew valley meta i'm just so obsessed with how FREAKY the farmer is. Like it's so fun #gonna write another long ass post about the farmer's bloodline specifically and. like.#why did their grandpa leave the valley?? why did their parents never go back??#stardew valley farmer #sdv

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lordprettyflackotara · 1 month

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Till Dawn || Eyeless Jack

Smut, 18+, minors dni. Tw: size kink, overall rough ass sex, unrealistic demon sex, stalking, a sprinkle of cnc, safe word IS in place, obsession, blood, blah blah. all the things. i had to lock tf in to finish this, it’s been sitting unfinished foreverrr. here you go my lovely’s <3

part two is here

You were a fascinating creature.

EJ thought so, anyways.

Many years had passed since he had been human, his interest in mortals having previously faded. That engrossment only slipping away further after he had moved into Slenderman’s mansion.

Typically, besides killing for food, (and maybe fun), he never strayed from home.

When Jack wasn’t home, he was never staying. Always passing through.

That was, until he saw you.

Your scent was divine, the demon lurking inside the depths of EJ clinging onto the idea of a tasty snack.

Once Jack had found you, he began studying you from a far.

You weren’t hard to find, the annoyed curses leaving your lips giving away your location easily. You were awkwardly stumbling over your arms full of groceries, struggling to unlock the front door to your tiny home.

Typically EJ wouldn’t have noticed your behavior at all, his animalistic instincts shouting at him to break into the window upstairs. To slide in, waiting for you to get settled. To creep behind you and slit your throat. He could hear your heartbeat, the steady pulse sending adrenaline through his veins. His mouth was beginning to salivate under his mask, his interest now peaked as he observed your life.

You liked your coffee mostly black, with a single sugar cube. You were a night owl, giving Jack plenty to watch as he hid in the shadows of darkness. It occurred to EJ as he watched you join another round of an online game, your thick headset covering your ears, that he hadn’t really thought about what humans did in a long time.

Over the years he had sort of lost the man he once was, forcing himself to view mortals as meals, nothing more. After all, one sensitive vital organ and they’d be dead. Humans were so fragile. They aged so much quicker than he did. Why would he ever get attached?

The thought of a potential attachment hadn’t occurred to him, ever. EJ was content with passing through. He was content with his minimum social interacts with his fellow creeps back at the mansion.

But your scent.

Eyeless Jack grew more and more puzzled the longer he studied you. Why did you smell so fucking good? He had never cared for blood before, wounds not visible on your body anyways. Your pulse was normal, but he heard pulses around him all the time. Including two sets he lived with. Unless he was hunting, EJ had grown accustomed to tuning them out.

What was it about you?

It wasn’t until one night he was perched up in an oak tree, watching you prepare for bed. EJ had never considered himself to be a peeping tom. The female body held no interest to him other than the organs it contained. That was of course, until he saw you changing. You had tugged your shirt over your head, your bare breast bouncing as you pulled down your pants. Your panties were lacey, a material EJ hadn’t touched in ages. For the first time in years, Jack could feel his boner brushing against the fabric of his boxers.

You were so innocent, so unaware of his presence. EJ felt heat rush to his cheeks, awkwardly looking around to make sure no one else was looking at you like he was. You were so careless, leaving your curtains open like this. He was sure you figured since you were on the second story no one could see you. Jack liked that idea, him being the only one that could see you like this.

This made him only pay more attention. His attention now was not only on you, but the people you associated with. EJ liked that you mostly had friends and regular coworkers. He had no competition, no problem to deal with. His mind overworked itself trying to come up with realistic scenarios where he could meet you. Where he could feel the heat of your body, his cock buried in your cunt.

Despite Jacks obsession, he knew that the situation wasn’t ideal. His being over 6’5 and having dark gray skin the very least of his appearance issues.

The longer he watched your life, he noticed you were lonely. It didn’t matter how many friends you hung out with, he saw the look on your face deep in the night. The photos in your room of everyone you loved, every single photograph missing yourself. The filthy books you spent your time reading, the romance movies you watched. You needed a lover. Someone to tend to your needs, every dark desire.

He was over the moon when the opportunity presented itself.

Ben had given him a heads up, letting him know a ‘gnarly storm’ was heading the way EJ had recently been camping out at.

Standing in the rain wasn’t ideal for EJ. He didn’t particularly like being wet, the rain beginning to pour down. The thunder clapping and lightning striking was comforting for him, the wetness of the situation, not so much.

It was a usual night for you, your teddy bear wrapped desperately in your arms as you attempted to fall asleep. EJ watched you turn over restlessly, the storm clearly delaying your regular sleeping cycle. His gaze wondered over to the bright pink vibrator charging on your nightstand, his eyebrows raising.

When did he miss that?

It had to have been when he went to hunt earlier. Living off of deer was borderline revolting, his craving for human organs much more prominent. However he knew if he wanted to stay, eating one too many human organs created too much attention. A good chase from the cops taught him that lesson. Took him lots of stitches to heal, ones he had to do himself.

It occurred to Jack in that moment that if he was going to go through on his idea now was the time. He slowly walked down the thick branch of the oak tree, careful not to slip as he approached your window. He crouched down, raising his hand. He tapped on your window with his index finger, the unfamiliar feeling of fear filling him. Would you call the cops? What would you do? He watched you stir in your bed, as if you were internally debating if the noise was real.

EJ waited patiently for the thunder to subside, before tapping again. This time you sat up, your eyes landing on the window. EJ nervously realized this was the first time you were looking at him. He raised his large gray hand, waving at you. Your eyebrows furrowed, throwing the sheets off of you as you approached your window. EJ knew your window was broken, unable to be locked. He noted you pretending to unlock it, before shoving it upwards.

“Can I um, help you?” You asked. The rain droplets were splashing into your dry room due to the wind. EJ didn’t like that. He cleared his throat, trying to sound as non threatening as possible. He knew humans to be sensitive and after all of these years of not thinking twice about his voice, he was thinking about it now. “May I come in? It’s a bit wet out here,” EJ said as calmly as he possibly could. He watched you study him, your eyes fixated on his gray hands.

“I’m n-not so sure that’s a good idea. My brother’s home and I don’t think-” You stuttered, the lies spilling from your lips. Jack didn’t like this. You weren’t a liar. Without touching you, he slid into your room nimbly without a second thought. His drenched clothes were dripping water on the floor, his sights scanning the room up close for the first time.

“Hey! You can’t just barge in here!” You yelled. You stormed over to your nightstand, grabbing a baseball bat with ‘Vikings Middle School’ engraved on it. You rose the bat over your shoulder, swinging it with full intent to hit your intruder. Your eyes widened in fear as EJ caught the bat in mind air, his slender gray fingers wrapped around the metal. He tiled his head to the side, observing you.

First lies and now an attempt at assault. This is not off to a great start.

Jack immediately caught a whiff of your scent, the newly founded fear reeking off of you. And it was divine. EJ pushed the bat aside, taking a step closer to you. “Dont lie to me. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to offer you what you truly want in exchange for shelter from the storm,” EJ said. You were adorable, practically shaking in fear as he towered over you.

“I don’t want money if that’s what you’re offering. I’m not interested-” You began protesting. Jack noted your heart racing, his ears twitching at the delightful sound. He made you nervous. EJ’s dark chuckle cut off your sentence, causing you to stop talking. “Thats not what you truly want,” Jack purred. With another few steps towards you, he had backed you into a wall. With his arms on each side of your head, he slowly rose his knee. With an unseen smirk, he placed his knee between your legs.

A skimpy nightgown rode up your thighs, your face turning a light pink. “You’re lonely, I can fix that. I’ll only stay until dawn,” EJ said. Consciously he made an effort to be gentle as he rose his hand to touch your face. You were softer than he could’ve imagined, the softest silks having nothing on your skin. “I’m n-not-” You stuttered. Your heart was racing faster. It was music to EJ’s ears. “The vibrator sitting on your nightstand says otherwise,” Jack replied cockily.

His new found confidence was evident, your attention fully on him. Finally on him. EJ leaned forward, tilting up his royal blue mask as he leaned towards your ear. His voice was deep and soft, his breath hot as you trembled beneath him. “I promise i’ll make you feel really good,” EJ purred. His words were utter filth, your face flushing with heat. You could feel your core throbbing, your lust for a stranger so dirty but so thrilling.

“What’s your name?” You whispered. EJ was surprised by your question, causing him to lean back and slide his mask back into place. “I’m Jack, but you can call me EJ,” He replied. You toyed with the idea of asking him what EJ stood for, but decided against it. You stood up a little straighter, attempting to take more control of the situation. “Well EJ, if you’re going to fuck me, you better fuck me like you mean it. I want you gone at dawn. Understood?” You asked boldly.

A devious smile was curling up EJ’s lips, his mask blocking the view of his razor like teeth. “I knew you’d give into me, I can smell your arousal,” EJ replied. His gaze traveled down your body, soaking in your cleave that was revealed and your plush upper thighs. As if you could sense his devious thoughts, you pushed at his chest. “Hey i’m not kidding. Be gone at dawn or i’m calling the cops,” You threatened. Jack chuckled, before grabbing both of your thighs.

He picked you up with ease, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist. “Gone by dawn. I got it. If you want me to stop say red. Say anything else and I won’t, got it?” EJ asked. He carried you over to your bed, plopping you onto your soft mattress. You audibly whimpered an agreement, staring up at the man in front of you.

“Oh and one other thing,” EJ began, shoving his hoodie over his head. You marveled as his bare chest, his dark gray skin defining his muscles. “Dont freak out,” Jack finished. You stared at him blankly, blinking before he slid off his mask. EJ wasn’t a fan of removing his mask for any reason, not even to his victims. The most he would do is show his razor blade teeth every once in a while. Matter of a fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had removed his mask in front of anyone.

Jack had pondered about what to do about his appearance, the oozing black empty eye sockets something that couldnt be ignored. He figured revealing it immediately would get it out of the way, and based on the way you reacted, he’d know what to do. His obsession with you wasn’t just pure filth or attraction, you smelled absolutely delicious.

He would win in every scenario.

He would know how to make his choice based on your reaction. You were confused, watching as EJ leaned down over you. He pinned you to the bed, your body on fire with desperation. “Scared?” Jack purred, waiting to hear all of the insults he heard in his worst nightmares. You found yourself nervously chuckling, thunder rumbling outside. “Only of not cumming,” You replied in a cocky tone, causing EJ to smile. Surely the unsettling rows of animalistic teeth were going to set you off.

But they didn’t.

Your approval and calmness gave EJ confidence, his lips bringing themselves to yours. He was careful, restraining himself so he didn’t accidentally nip you with one of his teeth. He kept his tongues in his mouth, deciding that would be a surprise for later. He was rough and needy, his lips practically begging yours to respond faster. His hips pressed down lower on yours, his bulge visible and pressed against your clothed cunt.

You tasted like mint, the taste flooding his tastebuds with an intense craving. You bucked your hips upwards, whimpering in his mouth as he grinded against you. “Needy huh?” Jack taunted. He pulled down your night gown, exposing your bare breast to him. He leaned down, placing soft and gentle kisses onto your chest. “I know you aren’t talking,” You teased.

EJ growled into your skin as he lowered himself down your body, prying open your thighs. “Whys that?” He murmured, pressing his chapped lips against your plush inner thighs. You clamped your mouth shut, your hips involuntarily moving upwards towards his mouth. “Dont think I get any play huh? Thats funny, considering you’re practically begging me to touch you,” Jack snickered cruelly. He was relishing and thriving in your desperation, dragging your panties down with his razor sharp teeth.

They poked holes in your thin panties, the shredded clothing being dragged down your legs. EJ couldn’t take his eyes off of your bare cunt, your cheeks flushing a shade of red as the demon above you admired your dripping wet cunt. Jack had seen a cunt before, in his human life and accidentally in his demon one. But yours, yours was a sight for sore eyes.

With his index finger and middle finger Jack spread open your lips, admiring how wet you were for him. “I don’t have all night-” You began complaining, only for one of EJ’s tongues to lick a stripe up your cunt. Electricity shot through your body, causing you to let out a sinful moan. “You do have all night. I have you until dawn. And trust me, you’re going to remember this long after,” Jack said, returning his attention to your aching core.

To your surprise Jack had three tongues, each of them assaulting your cunt is different ways. Two had made their way inside of you, abusing your cunt by fucking you. The other was attacking your clit, stimulating you into a babbling mess. You grabbed his hair, his name spilling off of your lips involuntarily. It was all happening so fast, your body struggling to keep up with the pleasure. Jack couldn’t contain himself, unable to tease you any longer.

Your pussy tasted better than any fucking organ he had ever eaten. You yanked at the roots of his brunette hair, chanting you were going to cum. This didn’t encourage him to slow down, the killer in between your thighs only wanting to make you do it again.

“F-fuck Jack I-I can’t,” You whined, closing your thighs around his head. Jack smirked as he removed one of his tongues from your clit, allowing him to speak. “You know what to say if you actually want me to stop. I think you like this though. I think you like being treated like the whore you are,” Jack panted. You felt humiliated at his words, your walls squeezing around his tongues.

This made EJ chuckle, his gaze now settled on your bright red face. “You like that don’t you? Being a whore for me?” Jack asked mockingly, continuing to fuck you with his tongues. Truth was when Jack had caught you reading the dirtiest of books, he ensured to do his research. To imagine himself being the one to do the things to you like he read in the filth romance novels.

You tried to hold back your unholy moans, biting your lower lip as Jack stared up at you. His third tongue playfully licked across your clit again, causing your hips to jolt upwards. “I asked you a question,” Jack said sternly. His large hands pinned down your waist, prying your thighs open. “Y-yes I like being a whore,” You replied pathetically, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten. Jack brought his spare hand to your cunt, drawing quick circles around your throbbing clit.

Your legs began to tremble as an animalistic, low growl left EJs throat. “Whose whore are you? Tell me,” Jack ordered, your walls squeezing around his tongues. You could barely make sense of his words, the ecstasy he was providing you too heavenly. “I’m yours, i’m your whore Jack. Fuck, please make me cum,” You pleaded.

She taste good and can beg? Fuck me.

“Cum for me like the good little whore you are.”

Your legs shook violently and attempted to close as you came, Jacks merciless assault coming to an immediate halt. He watched you ride out your euphoria, slipping his tongues out of your cunt. Your pussy was red and puffy, suffering from the abuse of a demon. He wiped his chin with his hand, crawling up closer to you. Your heart was pounding so loudly it took everything in him for Jack not to tear it out of your chest.

“You’re going to feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock,” Jack growled, sloppily pushing down his pants. He leaned back, lightning flashing as he stroked his cock in front of you. “You sure you can handle me? You seem tense,” Jack asked teasingly. He knew was far bigger than you, your eyes widening at the mere sight of his shaft. “I can handle anything you throw at me,” You say, swallowing to create some moisture in your dry mouth. Your throat and mouth having gone dry from making so many sinful sounds.

Jack smirked as he slowly slid inside of you, his tip alone stretching you out. You whimpered, causing Jack to lean forward. He sank into you slowly, peppering soft kisses on your neck. Purposefully he targeted your more sensitive skin, testing the waters to see which areas made you loosen up more. You clawed at his back, your face scrunched up in pain. EJ studied your face carefully, slithering one of his hands down to your puffy clit. “T-too much,” You babbled, your words beginning to slur. Your hand slid down to grab Jacks wrist, the killer above you not changing his mind.

“Need you loosen up a bit more. You’re doing so good. You can do it for me, yeah?”

His words were like a remedy for your pain, his cock now fully buried inside of you. You pulled your hand away from his wrist, your fingertips brushing over the outline of his cock inside of your stomach. You forced yourself to open your eyes, the sloppy circles Jack was drawing around your clit helping you adjust. You swallowed hard, meeting the gaze of the lust filled demon above you. “You can move,” You whispered. Jacks ears twitched, almost as if he was making sure he heard you right.

“Play with your clit for me while I fuck you,” Jack ordered. You did as instructed, your small fingers trailing down to your abused clit. You drew slow circles as Jack propped himself up, slowly bucking his hips into yours. You let out a loud moan, his cock hitting your g spot. The demons gaze fell down to your womb, his eye sockets widening as he saw the shape of his cock slide in and out of you. “So fucking tight for me,” Jack snarled, picking up the pace.

His thrust were brutal and animalistic, unlike anything you had ever seen before. Or felt before. His pace was relentless, his body not seeming to tire. “Jack!” You cried out, wrapping your arms around his neck. He brought you into a sloppy kiss, struggling to be careful not to cut you with his teeth as he fucked you. “You feel so much better than I thought you’d feel. Fuck,” EJ groaned into your mouth, losing his control.

One of his teeth nicked your lower lip, a small tinkle of red crimson blood dripping down your bottom lip. Jack didn’t have time to think, his mouth on yours immediately. But this time, for a different reason. He sucked at your bottom lip as he pounded you, moaning at the taste of your blood. You felt disgusted how accepting your body was of this, your eyes fluttering shut as you allowed him to suck at your lower lip. Jacks orgasm was coming closer, even if he didn’t want it to.

His pace didn’t let up for a second, his body a slave to your pussy. He released your lip with a pop, growling as he felt his orgasm come closer and closer. “I’m going to fucking breed you. You’re gonna be all mine, all fucking mine,” Jack huffed, his control long gone. His gaze met yours, your face fucked out and your moans incoherent. “Cum with me. Cum all over me,” He panted, his orders now weak. Your small fingers were replaced with his own, his slender fingers resuming the assault on your clit.

“Fucking shit, EJ!” You cried out, gripping his arm as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Your walls were milking his cock, begging him for his cum. They were pleading with him to breed your pretty little cunt, to make you all his. Your orgasm was all it took, his hips stuttering as he came inside of you. His moans were no longer the human language, his sounds of pleasure reverting back to incoherent growls. EJ panted as he looked down at you, your bottom lip puffy.

Your neck was covered in light purple and brown bruises, his light pepper kisses not as light as he thought. You were fucked out, your body lying limply on the mattress below you. Slowly he slid his cock out of you, your cunt red and puffy from the abuse. EJ watched as a mixture of his and your cum dripped out of you, your breathing slow and heavy. “Y/n?” Jack whispered. He was terrified he had broken you, his gaze landing on the bruises in the shape of his fingers that had littered your soft thighs.

You murmured an audible response, causing Jack to sigh in relief. He looked over his shoulder, the sun coming over the horizon. The storm had subsided, a light spring shower coming down from the sky above instead. You sat up slowly, watching your tall demon lover dress himself. You were dizzy and tired, blinking slowly as he shoved his pants back on. “You don’t wanna stay?” You asked softly, yawning. EJ gave you a cheeky smile, before shoving his mask back on.

“We had a deal didn’t we? It’s dawn,” Jack said. He began to put his hoodie on, your eyes softening with disappointment. Jack could feel his stomach growling, the taste of your blood fueling his desire for a tasty meal. He wanted to stay, but he knew he would kill you if he lost control again. Without thinking he handed you his hoodie, before heading over to the window. You sat there dumbfounded, watching as he gave you a small wave goodbye.

“Don’t worry, i’ll be back,”

651 notes · View notes

erenoir · 10 months

Text

𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮

💿 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚏𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚣𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛

genre: single father!toji, slow burn, angst then fluff, nsfw, MDNI

warnings: 18+ dark content, alcoholism, breeding kink, daddy/mommy titles used, unprotected sex, oral sex, verbal fighting, discussions of abandonment, initial toxic relationship, light gun use.

featuring: toji x fem step-mom!reader

summary: you and toji had met each other at your worst, twin flames fueling each other’s bad habits. you spent weeks upon weeks as on-and-off fuck buddies, manipulating and using each other before throwing one another to the curb again. nothing could save the turbulent relationship of a touch-deprived woman and a man afraid of love, never daring to wave your white flags to one another… until the night toji dropped a bomb that would make or break the two of you forever. | find it on ao3: [☆]

word count: 14.9k

a/n: tell jesus that the bitch is back- i’m kidding! no but really, its been a long year (or more?) of me being away from this blog. i haven't done this in a while, but i have too many delusions and thoughts to not make them into stories, i missed writing too much. anyways, if you like this: reblog, comment, check out my other stuff, etc! luv u xx send toji thirsts in honor of szn 2

“Okay now Megs, daddy and I will be back tomorrow morning, okay?”

Your knees pressed into the cold floor as your fingers tangled themselves in your stepson’s wild, raven locks. The little boy stuck his bottom lip out in protest, your heart swelling at the sight of it. Your thumb met his velvety skin as you stopped a tear from rolling any further down his rouged cheek.

“I don’t want you and daddy to go!” He wailed, a tiny voice strained with big emotions. The glum boy ran into your open arms, clinging to you like velcro. The creamy silk of your blazer swept across the nape of his neck as you enveloped him into a cozy embrace.

“Oh Megumi, you’ll be alright! Your father and I will just be away for the night. Then tomorrow… I can make you all the pancakes in the world for dinner!” His eyebrows knit together and his rosy nose scrunched up as you shook his face in your hands. Little Megumi's messy, toothless grin punctured your heart so deeply. You adored the boy endlessly, even if he wasn’t your son by blood, a connection so spirited manifested itself between the two of you.

“Really mommy?! Do you really mean all of the pancakes in the world?” You let a gentle fingertip feather itself across the tip of Megumi’s nose as you rose to your feet to ruffle the boy’s hair, “Of course I mean it baby! Daddy will do whatever it takes to get you every last drop of pancake batter in the whole, wide, world… isn’t that right, honey?”

You shifted your weight to your left foot to get a good look at Toji, Megumi’s father. He planted himself in his usual crushed velvet armchair that rested in front of the fireplace, thighs sprawled out across the plush cushion. His cheek sunk into the palm of his hand as he ogled at his precious family.

All mine, Toji thought, all fucking mine.

The brooding man sauntered up to you two with ardency, his husky arms snaking around your waist, pulling your backside into his chest and placing a wet kiss to the crook of your neck. Toji rested his hand atop of Megumi’s hair, nearly drowning your little one’s head with its size. You gazed on dotingly as your lover’s biceps contracted when he picked up your son, cooing him into a comfortable silence. The fireplace illuminated the quaint living space an intimate shade of orange, fractals of light bouncing off of the most hidden corners of the room. The shadow of your lover danced across the walls as he rocked the raven-haired child to sleep. You massaged red fingernails into his burly shoulders, feeling the fabric of his black t-shirt ripple between your fingertips.

“We’re so lucky, aren’t we?” You purred into Toji’s neck as you two caressed the light of your lives, sound asleep in his arms. Toji peered over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of you, watching your maternal instincts consume your body as you outstretched your soft hands to the boy. Something within Toji burst in that moment, seeing his lover care for his child as if he were her own.

“Let me take him to bed, my love.” Dark eyes trailed your steps attentively, watching your hips sway as you cradled his son in your nimble arms, your tender hand nurturing the back of his head, holding it tightly to your chest. His pupils dilated when you started whispering lullabies into Megumi’s ear. A series of “Mommy loves you,” and “I’ve got you my baby,” made Toji’s jaw clench and every part of him swell with adoration.

—

You once arrived in Toji’s life as a fiery little creature. Wild, uncaring, and foaming at the mouth for attention. He didn’t see you as anything other than a friend with benefits. It was a fair exchange, Toji satiated your need for unhealthy attention as a girl disowned by her distant parents, and you satiated his need for a little rag doll as a hitman with a severe lack of emotional intelligence. He needed a woman that would do most anything to please him and receive the gratification she so desperately craved in return. Room 4C, that was the room you two would run away to every weekend.

It was a malignant relationship you had, you were unabashedly toxic to one another. Toji would show up drunk on most occasions, and you would allow him to do whatever he wanted to your feeble little body and enjoy every second of it. You would fight just to see who could scream louder, until the misty light from the sun rising sliced through the cracks of the thick curtains. The old motel would’ve kicked you two out if it weren’t for how much business you brought them. Your eyes stung with crazed tears, both of pleasure and pain, and Toji was the one that induced them every time. Every smack to the cheek was met with a tender kiss, and every “I hate you,” was met with a chorus of apologies. You loved each other in wicked ways, but you loved each other nonetheless. You pushed as Toji pulled, never could either of you find a moment of peace to let your fragile emotions rest.

That was until one night where you asked Toji to meet you in your usual room, at your usual time, 8 p.m. Only that night had you two finally waved your white flags and extinguished your venomous behavior to one another.

—

Your toes were painted a wine red as they ran through the fuzzy carpet below you, feet swinging over the twin-sized motel bed. Rain rushed the windows with fervor, the storm warning you had received this morning not clicking in your brain until that very moment. The muffled voices of the news anchors suffocated your eardrums as they grew louder. The silence in the room was painstaking and you didn’t know how much longer you could last solely listening to the rhythmic drips of the leaking bathroom sink. Your eyelids began to droop as the neon leds of the plastic alarm clock flicked from 8:59 to 9:00. The stiff sheets felt like royal silk at that moment, sleep threatening to consume your body. The room around you shut on and off, eyelids blinking slowly, and your mouth dipping into the slightest “o” shape. the cotton of your t-shirt rode up your thighs as you slid yourself under the covers. Toji isn’t coming tonight, truthfully, the thought grazed your mind when it had only been ten minutes after 8, Toji was never any more tardy than that. But as you watched the clock now switch from 9:04 to 9:05, the hint of betrayal that had felt like a pin prick before now felt like you’d just been gutted.

Your body was swallowed in the darkness of the motel room, though you did leave the news on, maybe the late night anchors could keep you company in your lover’s absence. In your dream you saw the dark eyes that taunted you into submission. How pathetic was it to dream about a man who couldn’t care less about you besides what you had underneath your underwear? In your dream you were running, your earthly body was riddled with cold sweats and shivering into oblivion, you heard pounding, it grew rapidly with every step you took, the beat of your heart staying in time, though the pounding felt too real to be fabricated through your imagination alone.

Then your body jolted awake to a vigorous gust of wind, and suddenly the banging became real, and whoever demanded that kind of attention from you at midnight was about to receive a pounding to their face. With your eyes cloudy and vision blurred, you tried to adjust to the dark blue of your surroundings.

“Ah, shit!” The stark yellow light of the bedside lamp blinded you, a shaky hand rested on your forehead to act as a shield to the harsh, artificial rays. The comforter of the rigid bed you laid on grew wet, rainwater dripping from the dark figure that stood above your tired body.

“T-Toji?” You stammered into the abyss, you had no courage to look up and see who had woken you up from your restless slumber. After all, you didn’t want the last thing you saw to be your murderer.

“No, it’s Megumi,” your hand snapped to your side to see from whom such a soft voice was emitted. Above you stood a small boy with porcelain skin and raven hair, he couldn’t have been more than 6 years old.

My god, you thought, he looks just like-

“Toji is my dad, he said to wait in this room while he- while he got m-more of his happy juice… s-so he pushed me through th-that window a-and n-now my knee is bleeding!”

The young boy who tried to remain stoic eventually broke into a fit of relentless tears. He's a child, he’s a- he’s Toji’s… Toji has a child. Your brain went through the motions, trying to ride every wave of the ocean it was thrown into.

Until one of those waves truly hit you- and you realized that there was a fucking child in your room.

And all of the sorrow you felt for the boy had turned into pure, unadulterated rage for his poor excuse of a father.

You peeled yourself from the bed and tripped over the legs of your jeans as you tried to shrug them on while making your way to the door. Your hand stopped at the knob before turning to the kid.

“Fuck… don’t go anywhere, okay kid?” You mumbled as you fished the pack of Marlboro's from the back pocket of your Levi’s and jammed one into your mouth, busting through the door and into the rainy parking lot… search frantically- ferally, for the one person you were dying to see most.

“Where the FUCK are you?! You asshole!” You screamed, voice cracking. “Show your fucking face you… you coward!” You were speechless, running to the middle of the parking lot, and scanning every dark car for someone hiding out- hiding from you. The rain sunk through your tank top, goosebumps pricking your skin, and then next you felt the tears. He was the last person you wanted to cry for, he didn’t deserve it, the fucker would probably enjoy it if you didn’t know him any better.

“Fuck you!” You seethed, bare feet taking you in circles around the flooded lot. “Fuck! You! I hate you!” The tears finally poked through, staining your cheeks with old mascara.

“You always do this shit Toji Fushiguro! I hope you’re fucking dead! You fucking deadbeat father!”

–

After twenty minutes of your parking lot charades, the motel manager had to nearly drag you back to your room- a freezing cold, screaming maniac. The boy- Megumi, was sitting next to you cross-legged on the bed with a patched up knee and an ice cream sandwich from the vending machine three rooms down. He hummed to the tune of the children’s show that played on the television, swaying back and forth in contentment. The fact that you were babysitting the child of the man that you were fuck buddies with amused you as you scoffed to yourself.

“You know… your dad didn’t tell me had a kid,” the little boy’s attention remained fixed on the screen, ignoring you completely while his dark eyes memorized the flashes of color and cartoons in front of him. Hm, he really is Toji’s kid.

“How's your knee, Megs?” Your fingers ran across the pink bandaid you’d stuck over his scrape, making sure the adhesive wasn’t lifting off of his damp skin. Vanilla filling seeped through Megumi’s tiny fingers. Chocolate crumbles littered his plump cheeks as he stuck the final bite of his ice cream sandwich in his mouth, stuffing his cheeks full.

“My knee is fine!” He mumbled through a full mouth, patting his sticky palm over his wound. Your mind toyed with the idea of whether or not now was a good time to mention his father again, but knowing Toji, if you didn’t mention him he wouldn’t even bother coming back. So keeping the boy’s best interest at heart, you casually brought up his father’s name for a second time.

“Megumi… can you tell me where your dad is?” You folded your hands in your lap as you awaited his response. Tears pricked at the boy’s gloomy eyes, a storm just as tumultuous was raging in him as it was outside. Messy palms wiped themselves across his white race car shirt, before they came up to wipe at his face.

“I-I told you… he s-said he was going to get more of his happy juice… he said to wait here with a lady named ___. Th-that’s what he said to do!”

Megumi’s quiet words turned into an erratic tantrum. Tears flooded his eyes as he snorted up a wad of snot, the race car on his shirt slowly starting to drive on wet roads. You were going to kill Toji. You didn’t give a crap about the way he treated you anymore, he had a child who was helpless. And god knows the child was helpless if the person Toji decided to leave him with was you.

The docile boy leaned sweetly into your arms, begging for some form of comfort, it was evident that he’d never received any from his own father before. The sleeves of your sweater moved hesitantly to wrap themselves around Megumi’s shaking body, afraid that if you were to embrace him fully the dam that’s been holding back all of your emotions would suddenly break. It wasn’t your place to nurture this child, it wasn’t your place to offer him another outlet for parental guidance. But as you sat at the edge of the motel bed with the little boy, it felt as if you were sitting at the edge of a cliff, and you could either sink or swim with Megumi’s life in your hands. The moment you felt his frail arms hug you back, the dam fell, and you were in too deep to stop giving a fuck now.

You brought a hand to his wild hair. It stuck up in all directions, he told you earlier that he stole some gel from his dad’s bathroom, and that Toji let him do it however he wanted to. You remember laughing at that, seemingly because it sounded like something Toji would say. Your cheek felt cool against the top of his head, his hair still drying from the torrential storm that brewed just outside the window. Every string inside of you that was holding your emotional state together at the seams had ripped in two as Megumi began to sob more violently than before. His red cheeks moved from right to left across your sweater, wiping snot, drool and tears all over you. With thoughts clouded and the slightest knowledge of how to take care of a child flying out the window, you began to panic. Toji had left his offspring, his flesh and blood, with you, his emotionally corrupted, immature, and attention deprived fuck buddy.

Why?

With tender hands you tuck the covers under Megumi’s petite body. Your heart crumbled completely when you saw how the tears dried on Megumi’s cheeks, how his breathing was congested with mucus, and how his swollen eyes twitched in his sleep. He was having a nightmare. The bed dipped in as you sat beside him and ran fragile fingers over his forehead, sweeping his long hair out of his eyes. For the first time that night you let tears fall from your eyes, as you gazed at the broken child with an instinct to care for him, to help him grow, if Toji wasn’t going to be there to do it. You watched as Megumi’s body relaxed under your touch, his breathing smooth, and his eyebrows drooping. A small smile formed on your face, it was time to fake happiness for this boy, if it meant that he would be okay.

“He’s a g-good kid r-ight?” Your head snapped up as Toji’s overbearing body stumbled through the window, his hand desperately grasping for some kind of support from the wall. God, you really needed to lock that fucking window or god knows what other Fushiguro would trip through it.

An animosity so intense boiled within you, clawing at your stomach, dying to be taken out on the drunken man stood in front of you. The tears returned to your eyes, his silhouette doubled as your vision blurred.

“D-don’t you fucking come near me you asshole,” you whispered, there were no words in the world that could’ve described how badly you wanted to scream at Toji until his eardrums popped. Alas you couldn’t… you couldn’t let Megumi see his father like this.

“Exc-use me but I'd l-like to see my-my son,” words slurred out of his wet lips, a line of saliva falling out of the corner of his mouth.

“Toji… don’t even think for a second I’d let you near him,” your delicate hands pushed against his steel chest, helplessly punching into him to stop him in his tracks. His strong hands wrapped themselves around your wrists tightly as he looked you in the eyes with an intoxicated heat.

“Toji… why? Why wouldn’t you tell me you had a fucking child? Is this who you ran away from every weekend we spent together?” Your hand shakily pointed to little Megumi’s sleeping body, “Do you understand how fucked up that makes me feel? How fucked up that makes you? God! I knew you were a piece of shit but Toji… this is rich, this is- this is the icing on the fucking cake… you disgust me!” You whispered as Toji’s hands repositioned themselves to cup your cheeks, his calloused thumbs coming to wipe the lines of mascara running down your face. Although blank and empty, his stare alone spoke a thousand words.

It told you that he was broken, that he was filled to the brink with regret, that he hated- no, absolutely loathed himself. Toji knew he was a piece of shit, he knew he was wrong for hiding his son from you, and he knew he was wrong for hiding you from his son. He had lasted long enough pushing everything under a compact rug until it couldn’t hold much more, and now every fucked up thing in his life was catching up to him, and you were watching it happen right in this depressing, wet, and cramped motel room.

“I-I didn’t know wh-where else to bring him, I-I mean look at me I can’t be with him right now…” Toji fell to his knees and gripped your calves with his hands, crying into the damp denim of your jeans. You stood stiff, frozen in place and in disbelief at what was happening. The brazen man that you knew so well, that dripped with confidence, with ego, with a sense of security, had shattered completely. Toji’s back muscles contracted as he dry heaved onto the floor, the contents of his stomach just missing your feet. He looked up at you with an empty expression. Snot was dripping out of his nose, his jaw was trembling and his face was littered with tears and red splotches.

“Toji-” You reached for him.

“No… please hear m- me out…”

“I'll listen to you… outside…” You fired, “I’m not- I refuse to do this here when your son is sleeping right there!” You hoisted his body up off the floor as the two of you staggered into the storm. He leaned his body up against the door to 4C as you closed it, boring holes into your head, desperate for you to say anything. You wrapped your sweater around you tighter as rain propelled towards your shivering bodies. You two must have looked mad… drenched, drunken and depressed, in the middle of a storm, enveloped in darkness, hugging yourselves as if that would be of any help. Only the light of the moon and from the other motel rooms made it possible for you to see Toji’s face. The sounds of his rabid sobs mixed with the intensity of the rain pelting the ground, the freezing winds icing over his face sobered him up a bit. Toji began speaking as you looked down at your bare feet once again being swallowed by the wet pavement.

“I don’t trust anyone else,” Toji burns a hole into the parking lot with his stare, watching it flood slowly, he didn't have the guts to look at you, not yet. The single traffic light across the street whipped back and forth in the wind, streaks of light painting the foggy air. You leaned up against the door next to Toji, your tiny body being engulfed by his large, shaking one.

“…I didn’t trust a-anyone else w-with Megumi, I’m a threat to my own fucking kid, can you believe that?” You thought about it for a second, and you could completely believe it, the fact that Toji hid his son from you for this long should’ve spoken for itself. Your somber silhouettes shivered against the outside of the motel, both of your minds racing to deliberate how you would work yourselves through this mess. You almost wanted to laugh, the last people on this earth you would expect to be parents were you and Toji. With the breath kicked out of you, you slid down to the pavement and let yourself hit the ground. You hugged your knees with your shuddering hands and watched the cars slowly maneuver their way around the dimly lit parking lot. Toji’s hand navigates its way to the top of your head and smooths his fingers over your hair.

“Toji… I just have so many questions-”

“So ask them,” for once you looked at him with soft eyes, his voice trembled every time he spoke, you could try to fill the shell of a fractured man with love, with empathy, but everything you could possibly give him would just seep through the cracks of his ego.

“…I keep my circles small… so I didn’t have many options of who to leave the kid with… you’re the only person that I’ve allowed myself to get close to…” He ran a hand over his face, his body began to sink down next to you, extending his legs flat to the ground as his pants soaked with rainwater, “and you haven’t rejected me yet so I threw one more thing on you… is that okay?”

Was it okay? Of all the fucked up things you and Toji have done together, you scoffed in disbelief as your hands began to trace circles on the flooding ground beneath you, swirling rainwater in between your fingers.

“…and his mother?” Your voice cracked as your heart sank at what you could only predict his answer would be. Toji's jaw stiffened, grinding it back and forth as he reached for a pack of soggy cigarettes from his back pocket.

“Shit,” he muttered. He rung out the pack of smokes in his strong hold, the damp paper pushing between the cracks of his fingers. You looked at him and he looked straight ahead, watching small ripples form in the puddles of water upon impact from the rain.

“She’s dead… died when he was just born,” your chest weakened at his words, eyes overwhelmed with sorrow. Toji's lips began to tremble as he tried to bite back his tears. He was tired of crying, tired of not being strong anymore, and tired of not being a good father, for that’s the strongest thing a man could ever be.

“…So the kid got stuck with me… he- I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve to be a father to a kid as good as him…” In his most vulnerable state, you chalked up the courage to take his hand in yours and rub your thumb over his scarlet knuckles. You sat like that for a while, legs sprawled out over the drenched concrete, the ends of your feet grazing each other ever so softly.

“Toji…” your voice came out barely above a whisper, “…don’t say that… Megumi needs you,” Toji’s breath hitched in his chest as he coughed back the urge to cry anymore, “Megumi needs you to get better for him… that kid- he looks up to you so fucking much. He sat next to me for an hour talking about you alone.”

You pulled your knees into your chest and buried them under your sweater to shield your icy legs from the cold. You felt Toji’s blue eyes burn holes into the side of your head, he was desperate for any taste of guidance.

“You’re lying… the kid barely knows me, he”-

“So help him know you! Toji you can’t fucking give up on that kid… and you sure as hell can’t dump him on me and expect me to make up for the years you neglected him! I won’t fucking do it, not without you…” Your screams broke into a whisper.

You wanted Toji. You wanted him a month ago when he was just an asshole without a kid, and you want him now that he’s just an asshole with a kid. You shifted your body to sit closer to his, his silhouette swallowing yours in size as you curled up next to him on the concrete. Resting your head on his shoulder, he inched his hand towards yours to lift your knuckles to his lips and kiss them gently, one by one.

“Toji…” you continued, your eyes not leaving the ground, “I want to be with you, I want to love you- and if Megumi comes with you I’ll love him too… that’s what you’re asking of me, yeah?” You lifted your head to look at him, leaving your faces only inches apart as you gazed into each other’s eyes. Toji nodded his head slowly, he never asked for help, it was a sign of vulnerability. But the kid was the only exception for Toji, he always has been. He'd always absorb everything like a sponge until he physically couldn’t hold any more dirty water, tearing every time he had to ring out all of his baggage.

“You wanna know why you’re an asshole?” You’re probed, finally striking a light on one of his gnarly cigs and blowing the smoke onto his face. The scarred corner of his mouth twitched upward, enough for only you to notice.

“Pray tell, doll.” He chuckled in a husky voice, his calloused hand reaching for the cigarette you held before you smacked it away. He scoffed, “That came from my pack, you know?”

“The least you could do for me is bum me a cig, no?” You jabbed, the burning cherry hanging from your fingers as your hand bounced around with your words.

Silence.

“Well… you’re an asshole Fushiguro…” You continued without any more permission, hesitant to tell him what you wanted to. You feared you’d opened up too much already. Your tongue dragged over your teeth as you worked out your next sentence.

“You-“ You took a long drag, “You are a raging dick, actually. Because-” you paused to look over at him, and surprisingly enough, you had his complete attention. And his eyes weren’t hardened but- soft. And his breathing was less ragged than it was ten minutes ago. You swallowed hard as his eyes dropped to your mouth.

“You know you could hop on the next train out of here with no intention of seeing me again…” You whispered. “And I’d fucking love the shit out of that kid regardless, right?” He smirked at your choice of words, Toji tried hard not to love things, in the end everything he gets close to fades away and dies. But he believed that he loved you, and he loved the way you were prepared to drop everything to nurture the most secret part of his life. All he could do was stare at your face, gentle, warm, and glowing in the rain. Though it felt like the whole world was after him he felt safe next to you, and he despised the feeling, for it meant that he was prepared to give himself to someone for a second time, and he wasn’t ready to lose another.

“And that’s why I left him with you,” he smirked. He winced as you smacked him across the face, your eyes wide and feral.

“Yeah I know, I know that’s why you did it you fuck!” You scream-whispered, still mindful of Megumi just behind the door. “But don’t expect me to be- h-hot shit at this mother thing- I won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus if it means protecting him!”

You were standing now, and you were pacing, and reality was hitting you, and the adrenaline rush you were riding for the past thirty minutes was wearing off and you were scared. Your hand shook as you rose the dwindling cigarette to your lips, your body shaking from both the rain and the kiss of reality. Struggling to inhale from the damp bud, Toji cut off your train of thought.

“I know you won’t, that’s why I left him with you,” he said sternly, his figure now towering over yours. He grabbed his face in your hands, and it was just as much a loving act as it was a ‘I need you to get your head on straight and focus’ act. He pushed your cheeks in and shook your face ever so slightly, “You listen to me- That. Is. Why. I. Left. Him. With. You.”

He spoke roughly, dividing every word with a quick pause so you could get it through your head. He pressed his forehead to yours so you were eye to eye. “Hey,” he brushed some matted hair away from your wet forehead. You knew he saw the tears welling in your eyes, and you wish you could push him away so he could never see you cry again. But you couldn’t, you felt that you loved him far too much to do that. Your shoulders shook as you let them fall, you cursed yourself for letting it happen.

“Fucking listen to me,” Toji jabbed, “I left him with you because you- you don’t fear me. You will throw me under the bus, you’ll push me in front of a fucking train, for that kid,” he actually laughed at the thought, “I know no other person that will hold me accountable- even if it meant my bloody death.”

You shook yourself out of his hold, throwing your burnt out cigarette on the ground between you two, setting an imaginary border so you could think clearly away from him.

“Are you sober enough to hear me out?” You asked quietly but not lacking any ounce of aggression.

“Since you slapped the living shit out of me? I’d say I’m pretty okay,” Toji took one step towards you before you stopped him in his tracks.

“You stay over there and you listen to me,” you growled. You nervously rung out your hands, pulling on every knuckle and joint while you spoke.

“… I hope you don’t… run away.” You paused, “No- actually, you will not run away,” Your words left your mouth like you were prophesying commandments to a lost disciple. “He needs you with him, Toji. He is tired of you disappearing.”

Toji listened to you like your voice was the last thing he’d hear in his life, yet he wanted you to stop talking. The more you spoke the more bound to the tracks he felt, and he had never been bound to anything before, he did as he pleased, always. So Toji prayed you wouldn’t utter another word that would keep him here. He had to leave, if he stayed you would get hurt, that’s how it always went. But with every word that left your mouth you pulled him in and glued him to the ground he stood on.

He let out an exasperated sigh as you wrapped a hand in his hair, using it as leverage to push your foreheads back together. He was speechless, there was so much he could say to you, to convince you to kick him to the curb, but his words were stuck in his throat.

“I am tired of you disappearing,” the ropes that kept his body bound to the tracks drew tighter, and in the distance he saw the headlights of a train inching closer by the second.

“I know you think it’s hopeless, that it’s not even worth trying, but your son having any shot at living a normal life is worth fighting for… Toji, please-”

And then the train struck him, just as promised, this wouldn’t be the last one you pushed him in front of.

Your grip on Toji’s hair loosened as his lips crushed themselves onto yours. He pulled you closer, needed you closer, hugging you into his chest as you caressed the sides of his face with your hands, thumbs rubbing at his scarred cheekbones. You tasted like salvation. Toji knew deep down that you were his salvation.

“I’m not asking you to fix me, I’m way past that- I'm just asking you to be patient… for the kid.” He whispered against your lips, the tears that littered your cheeks dampened his. “I care…” he swallowed his words, “...I care about you- alot.”

“Jesus fuck, did it kill you to say that?” For the first time that night you laughed genuinely, and Toji’s mind was clear. It was carved in stone, he had claimed you and now he’s responsible for your life now, alongside Megumi’s. He raised his hands off your hips as if you were a fragile porcelain doll, too afraid to hurt you now that he’s held you- truly, held you. You looked at him questioningly, already missing the feeling of his skin against yours.

“I don't want you to get hurt… I don’t want Megumi to lose anyone else, he needs something I’m afraid I can’t give to him-”

“Shut up,” your eyebrows furrowed together as you shook his head gently, “Don’t go there… you dumb fuck,” bringing his lips to yours once more, he finally released under your touch, the feeling of you safe and in his arms put his restless thoughts to bed.

“I'm here, Megumi is sleeping soundly inside… we’re gonna be okay. Everything is a fucking mess. Because you did kind of fuck it, but we’ll figure it out,” you insisted, taking his hands in yours and placing them on your heart. Toji dropped his head to the crook of your neck and closed his eyes as the soft thump of your heartbeat grazed against his fingertips.

“Do you feel that? I’m alive you asshole… I’m not dead yet.”

—-

Toji knew you would stick around for a while.

He was right, because here you were, two years later, with Megumi cradled in your arms as you carried him up the winding steps of your Victorian home, placing soft kisses on his forehead and lulling him to sleep. Today was the anniversary of that night at the motel, when you met Megumi for the first time and decided to help Toji care for him even when you were entirely lost yourself. You haven’t been back there since, you three left the next morning on a train and never looked back. You told Toji that if you did it would be bad luck, so he kept moving forward for you and his son, to finally give him a life he deserved. But tonight you two thought it would be nice to visit one more time, on your anniversary, just for old time’s sake.

Toji watched as you tiptoed back down the steps and gave him a gentle thumbs up, signaling that Megumi had finally fallen asleep. Toji wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up into him, peppering kisses all over your blushing face. You placed a sloppy kiss onto his lips before jumping down and giving him a little twirl.

“C’mon baby, let’s go!” You wrapped your hand in his and dragged him to the door. His face relaxed into a content smile, after all this time, his little bird was still as free as ever.

—

Around your neck you donned a good locket that Toji had gotten you for your birthday, it moved up and down against your chest as you took deep breaths standing in front of an old friend. The door to room 4C looked just as you left it, with a few more cracks here and there. Your body shuddered as you looked down at the ground in front of it, still feeling the presence of your younger self clad in a drenched sweater, curled up next to a younger, drunken Toji. A warm smile spread across your face as you remembered how scared you two were, unsure of the world and without a plan, shivering in the pouring rain as you thought about your futures together.

Tonight the sky was clear, the only thing that surrounded you was the sound of cicadas singing. You looked up to your side as you felt Toji’s fingers intertwined with yours, holding onto your hand loosely. He looked down at you and smirked, although you two were much more mature and cared about whether you lost your lives or not for Megumi’s sake, deep down you two would always be the notorious fuck-ups that happened to fit perfectly together.

“Wanna wreck some havoc one last time?” he asked you. You giggled as your hand twirled the brass doorknob, entering the room that you and Toji made love in more times than you could count, the room that you got high in, got drunk in, the room that you fought in, that you threw television remotes at each other in… the room that you eventually fell in love in.

Your fingertips grazed the stiff blankets, the cherry red countertops, the cheap coffee maker, as you took every detail in. Everything was left just the way it was on the night. You let out a chuckle underneath your breath as you sunk your fingers into the mattress, remembering how Megumi’s body slept here soundly as you and Toji decided what the fuck you were to make of yourselves just outside.

“I'm glad you pushed Megumi in here that night…” you whispered as you lifted the blanket up, they could never remove the stain of his chocolate ice cream sandwich from the white sheets. Toji watched as you reminisced, taking in every inch of you, before your eyes finally met as you dragged your gaze across the tacky flower paintings that decorated the walls. Your eyes rested on his face as you drank the sight of him in. Toji was happy, he was at peace with what his life had turned out to be.

“The way it all happened was absolutely fucking ridiculous I hope you know that…” You rolled your eyes at him as he crossed his arms and leaned up against the kitschy wallpaper. “...but I wouldn't change a thing, it happened the way it did for a reason.”

He watched as your hips swayed back and forth underneath your black slip dress, his heartbeat speeding up as you draped your arms around his neck and leaned him further back into the wall. Toji, the hardened man that could effortlessly punch through anything that looked at him the wrong way, softened immediately when he was with you. You were his biggest source of strength, but his ultimate weakness nonetheless.

“Hold me, Toji,” you whispered as you brought your lips to his, feeling his brute arms tie themselves around your tiny waist, “…I love you baby,” you murmured as your lips moved against his.

“Thank you,” Toji had spoken for the first time since you two entered the room, too enamored with you to form any coherent words until this point. He watched as the orange light from the bedside table illuminated the back of your head, the halo of light framed your face like an angel.

“What?” you continued to pepper kisses all over his face, gently alternating back and forth from each cheek as your fingers played with his dark hair.

“For saving me… for loving Megumi… you didn’t have to fucking do that… you could’ve been free but you chose this life,” he pulled you up into him, shoving his face into your neck and taking in your scent. Toji was deathly afraid of losing you, so when he held you, he held you like it was going to be the last time he’d ever get to. You were his second chance at life, and if he could, he’d have you by his side forever.

“And I wouldn’t have chosen any different.” You croaked, your fingernails grazing the back of his neck.

“I wanted you then Toji and I still want you now, heaven and hell would have to meet on this earth to get me to stop loving you…” Your words were barely above a whisper, making sure they were for him and only him. Toji’s lips began to move against your neck and his hand tugged your head back by your hair, giving him more room to mark you.

“Toji, plea-“ You whined breathlessly, eyebrows furrowing together as everything inside you became bubbly and grew more sensitive with every touch.

“Have you ever thought about…” His lips paused against your neck, his grip on you tightening before he let up, “Fuck it, nevermind.” He shut himself down before he could even finish his thought. You nudged his head out from where it was hiding on your shoulder and forced him to look at you. You always found it funny that you held such a threatening man like putty in your hands.

“No… say it, tell me please,” you rested your hands on either side of his face, letting him know it was okay, you gleamed up at him as the flashes of the television reflected in your eyes, his heart swelled at the sight of you. Toji broke his eye contact with you, anxious of how you’d respond to his question. Toji was anxious. And you could feel it. And then his jaw clenched before his grip on you tightened once again, even now he couldn’t let the fortress that he hid inside break.

“Have you ever thought about… having another kid?” His eyes were dark, and a grin almost devious teased the corners of his mouth, and all of a sudden you felt how you did two years ago. And the Toji you fell for was standing there and he was so close to you and you were in his arms. He was teasing you like you were helpless teenagers in love. And though you loved Megumi so deeply- he was safe with the nanny at home… and you and Toji were just you and Toji again. You wanted him as fiercely as you did two years ago, and you wanted him to make love to you the way he did two years ago. Everything had been so gentle since you two were last here, and you watched Toji grow into an amazing father. You understood that he treated you like glass because he didn’t want to lose you like he has everyone else. And he was so good to you. But fuck, he was too good sometimes and you wanted that asshole back.

You pushed yourself into his chest and nudged his face in your direction with your nose, smiling softly as you watched a storm brew in his eyes alone. Your breasts nearly spilled out of the neckline of your dress as you pressed your chest to his. You felt him tense as you licked your way up from his neck to his ear, placing a kiss on the sensitive skin behind it.

“Toji… I think about it everyday,” you whispered, his grip around your waist tightened as he exhaled sharply, as if he was holding himself back.

“Do you think about a boy or girl?” He teased, beginning to trace his fingers on your thighs just below the hem of your dress. Your body instinctually moved into his, your words caught in your throat and your eyes lost in his. Toji smirked down at you, watching the way you curled around his finger so easily.

“Hey,” he snapped, taking your chin in a firm hold, “What did I ask you, princess? Stay with me.”

His other hand that remained just underneath your ass rose a few inches to give it a taught squeeze. He chuckled softly watching you twitch at the sensation. With your chin still in his hand he snapped your face to the left, pressing his nose against your cheek and inhaling deeply, before placing a hard, sloppy kiss to it.

“Tell me.” He pushed your face back so it was an inch away from his, “Do you want me to give you a boy or a girl?”

The stench of lust stained the walls, the carpets, the bedsheets, your clothes… it stuck to everything. This fucking room made the two of you feral. Toji had you melting in his hands and you wanted him to mold you to fit perfectly to him. Your hands traced down to his chest, feeling the muscles that pulled underneath his fitted black shirt. You took handfuls of the fabric into your fists as you smashed your lips to his, and he reciprocated immediately, like he was a robot built to respond to your commands. His hands flew everywhere, feeling every inch of you. They traced your thighs, slipped under your dress and up your spine, they traced the curves of your breasts and trailed up your neck, before stopping at the back of your head, bringing your face impossibly closer to his. He wanted you to mix together like a forbidden cocktail, whiskey and vodka, dark and light, never to be put together but when they are, they can be deadly.

You pushed from his unforgiving hold, to look up at him, the two of you breathing heavily, gasping for air like all that was left in the room was sucked out of it. You stumbled backwards as he watched you quizzically, wondering why the fuck you weren’t glued to him right now. You wanted him to see you, fully. So you stopped walking backwards until your legs hit the end of the bed.

Slowly, your fingers toyed with the hem of your dress, your cheeks heating as Toji smirked and crossed his arms. He watched you with a tilted head and his tongue poking at his cheek, in disbelief that you were his. But his smile dropped when you took hold of your dress and inched it up your soft skin, revealing the lace panties you had been wearing. Then you pushed the silk fabric past your belly button, and Toji could only imagine how that stomach would look big and swollen with his child. You stopped there, and slowly dragged your hands around your stomach, before they rested on top of your womb, your eyes never leaving one another.

“I don’t care about the gender of the baby… as long as it’s our baby and we take care of it together,” you whispered as you fixed your gaze on Toji’s chest, too nervous to look him in the eye. A primitive feeling ignited within him as he witnessed those words leave your mouth. Someone wanted him, not for dirty work, not to be used, but to love him and share a love with him, he never thought himself capable of feeling compassion for another like this in his life. He wanted to claim you in every sense of the word, fill you up, and burn his name onto your heart.

“You wanna give me a baby?” He growled from across the room, his shadows reached you from six feet away and enveloped your body, the vibrato of his voice shooting straight to your core. The idea of Toji marking you permanently made your insides curl, wet at the thought of it. Your eyes filled with lust and need, begging him to take you right here. He lost all of his senses as he looked at you turning into a needy little thing for him, breasts supple and on display as they heaved up and down. He imagined how they'd swell and fill with milk for his child, his gaze shot up to your lips, wet as you bit and licked at them, stains of the dark lip liner you had put on before you left, remaining on your skin like a ghost. Then they shot to your eyes, nearly tearing up with need, need to be touched and his completely. Something in you shifted when his gaze softened and his stance relaxed.

“Fuck… I wanna give you a baby Toji.” You whispered as you felt the first tear roll down your cheek, and within seconds Toji was up against you once more, lips molding to yours and his hands tangled in your hair. The weight and force of him pushed you back as you prepared to hit the bed. You took one of his hands from behind your head and placed it on your stomach, pausing from the kiss to look at him, saying all you needed to tell him with the one stare.

The rubber band inside of him snapped in that moment, he was madly in love with you, and the way you cared for Megumi so tenderly drove him up a wall. Watching you rock him to sleep, cook him breakfast in the morning, dance carelessly around the living room with him in your arms- he wanted to do it all over again with you, and start at the very beginning this time. He nodded frantically and wordlessly as he laid you back on the bed, pulling the heels off your feet as he crawled over you until he’d pushed you to the head of the bed, eyes never leaving yours. His lips met your collar bone, sucking on the skin that peaked beneath the strap of your dress, you wrapped a hand in his hair and pushed him into your chest as you whimpered, desperate for more.

He pulled his lips from your skin, placing a chaste kiss on the fresh bruise he mouthed onto your chest before placing a strong hand on your stomach, the other bringing itself to your head to make you look at him.

“Fuck, princess… tell me what you want again.” He whispered, pushing down on the soft skin of your stomach and tracing circles around your belly button with his thumb. Something about that movement turned you feral, as Toji hit all the right spots within you with his words. You crashed your lips into his as you growled into his throat, staking your claim on him. Toji was yours, and you wanted to make sure he knew it.

“M’hm…” You hummed as you rotate your hips into his thighs, “I wanna have your baby,” Toji squeezed your thighs before he pushed the rest of your dress up above your head, nearly panting as he watching your breasts spill out. He took one nipple into his mouth and the other in his hand, your body arching at the sudden change of pace. He sucked and twirled his tongue around the sensitive bud, the other hard and taught between the rough pads of his fingers. You always loved the way Toji could handle you, he was the only man that was ever able to give you exactly what you needed. It had always been that way, just you and him, becoming experts in each other’s bodies, memorizing every curve and trigger that made one another sing.

He lifted himself up from your breasts so that his face was hovering above yours and your head was trapped between his arms, he looked at you… and for a second you could’ve sworn you saw sadness wash over his face.

“Tell me what you want me to do to you and I'll do it, tonight you have me completely,” Toji whispered, tracing the contours of your face. You hid in his shadows, unsure what to make of that statement. Your breathing was ragged as you searched his face for the cause of the sudden gloom he casted over the bed you two occupied. You reached up to trace the dips of his jaw and cheekbones, back around his head before your fingers lingered over his lips.

“Toji, what’s wrong?” You asked wearily, “Don’t I have you completely every other night we spend together?” His gaze saddened, and this time it definitely had. You grew incredibly nervous, because despite the fact that you had Toji for two years… deep, deep down, you knew that he was a force that couldn’t be tamed.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his forehead dropping to your shoulder. He laid his body weight on top of you, caging you into him as if to protect you from an impending doom.

“And because I can’t lose you…” Your breath hitched in your throat at his next set of words. You couldn’t let him finish.

“Toji… no.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his back and hugging him into you.

“I’m sorry, I have to.” He shook in your hold, his hand wrapping around the back of your head and pushing it into his neck as you began to sob. You struggled to escape his grasp, you needed to fucking breathe.

“Toji… get the fuck off of me.” You bit through tears, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Let fucking go of me!” You pushed, squirming away when you felt him loosen up. You tripped your way out of the bed and hid yourself in the corner of the room, between the big TV and the bathroom. You sheltered your naked body by crossing your arms over your chest and your sobs became uncontrollable. You burned holes into his back as he knelt on the bed with his hands unfolded in his lap, he stared at them, empty and without you in them.

“I have to leave-“ He began.

“Shut up.” You whispered, begging him to stop.

“It’s the only way you and Megumi will be safe.” He pushed.

“I don’t fucking care-“

“You don’t care about my son?” He screamed into the void of the bedsheets, the palms of his hands digging at his weary eyes. The statement shook you, it clawed at the deepest parts of you and ripped them out. Left you gutted.

“How f-fucking dare you…” You choked, his back was still turned to you. You looked around the room in frantic disbelief, fists punching at your head. “You can at least turn around… and fucking LOOK AT ME… While you tell me that I don’t care about MY SON!”

You were towering above him now, for once in the years you had known this man the power dynamic had shifted. What was different was that you’d experienced another kind of love, and that love left you with a reflex that would cut anyone that threatened it. Toji had been training you up for this moment, the one where he would finally say he was leaving again, and you’d have to be there for Megumi on your own.

You shoved at his back and he didn’t budge, so you shoved again, and again he didn’t budge.

“He’s my son too….” You seethed, “ And I will not let you sit there with your back turned to me…” You continued as you rounded the bed so you were facing him. “Just so you can fucking tell me that I don’t care about him!”

He kneeled as still as a statue, the silence surrounding him almost sickening. And the more you stared at Toji, the more you wanted to laugh. You were not going to fall for his bullshit game again, because in the two years that you’ve loved him you’ve also learned him.

“You’re a coward, Toji…” You shot to kill. “If you meant what you said you can look me in the eye and say it again.”

Knowing he wouldn’t budge, you crawled onto the bed and kneeled beneath him, forcing yourself to look up into his eyes. They looked empty.

“Go ahead and tell me that I don’t love my son, Toji,” you smirked, eyes wild and alight as they were when Toji first set eyes upon you years ago, when he knew he had to have you. You grabbed his chin and tilted it upwards as you crawled into his lap, straddling him so he had nowhere to go, nothing else to look at but you, nothing else to feel but you. You put your lips to his and growled, nothing but heat laced in your words.

“Be a man… be a father… and tell me that I don’t love my fucking son.” A tear slipped down his cheek, and you could see mountains move in his eyes and you watched the walls of that fortress crack after two years. His hands fell to your hips, locking you in.

“I can’t,” he whispered, “I can’t tell you that.” Sorrow held heavy in his gaze, as he tried to kiss you with your lips on his. You wouldn’t let him, pushing his face back into place.

“Then tell me… why you would lie to me Toji,” you asked softly, your sadness, your embarrassment returning. “Why would you leave me again? Have I not been good enough-“

“No,” he cut you off, “No, never.”

“Then what is it! Tell me why you’re leaving- again!” You sobbed, your vision of him blurry now. Your hands wrapped around the back of his head as you pulled his body into your bare chest, feeling the wetness of his cheeks against your breasts. You dropped your head into the crook of his neck and sobbed, “What haven’t I done to make you see how much I love you?”

“It’s not what you didn’t do,” he resolved, “It’s what you did do.” You shook as his fingers kissed up and down your spine. “You have done everything- I could’ve asked for. I am scared of the way I love you… and I am scared of the way you love me.” He tried to pull your face from his neck but you were the immovable statue this time.

“Look at me,” He says sternly, forcing you from your hiding spot. He places a tender kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I have never loved someone so much. I can’t stay away from you and I think that’ll be our downfall if I don’t leave now. My plan was never to stay, I was going to leave you with Megumi… but god, you’re like a fucking magnet. Of course I stumbled in after him and when I saw you sitting on that bed with him… my fate with you was set in stone, princess.”

You were a blubbering baby, your hands holding his face as your thumbs rubbed his cheeks back and forth, like they were trying to memorize every scar and curve. You kissed his cheek as he continued, “It is everything you have made me… that’s the reason I have to leave. My work isn’t safe, once they know how soft I’ve become you will be the first people they target.”

“Toji, I d-don’t care!” You blurted out, “I don’t care… I can take care of myself, I can take care of Megumi. Teach me then, huh? Teach me to f-fight o-o-or use a gun… please Toji… I need you here.” You weren’t even sure of what you were saying, you were just saying anything to keep him here longer.

“You are all I have left-“ He pushed.

“As you are to me!” You bit back.

“Toji, you are all I have… please… please can we try?”

You practically begged, “What about our baby? Was that all just shit to get me to sleep with you one last time? Hm?”

“No, of course not!” He shot back, words fiery and filled with passion.

“So you were gonna what? Toji? Knock me up and leave?” You asked silently, holding your eye contact with him. “Because I really wanted- I really wanted to have that with you.”

He bit back tears, swallowing deeply as you drilled into him. He just shook his head, if he wanted to keep you in his life he had to do this. He had to let you go. He gently pushed you off of him one last time, wincing when he felt you reach for him, your hand gracing his.

“N-no Toji… no, please,” you begged, his heart tearing as he walked closer to the door, gathering his things slowly. He jolted when he felt your small body press into his back, hugging him from behind and shaking. It took everything in him to fight the urge to place his hand over yours. But feeling you slide to the floor behind him made him turn around to look at you. He had done it, he had broken you, and for the first time in his life he was disgusted that he had done that to someone.

“Get up,” he choked.

You refused.

“Get. Up!”

“No.”

“I’m not leaving you on the floor like this-“

“Then don’t fucking leave! You asshole!” You screamed at him wildly, smacking at his legs with weak jabs, the picture of a child throwing a tantrum.

“If you ever loved me or Megumi you would stay!” You cried, “You would stay… and you would try for us…”

“You can’t say that-“

“Yes I can because it’s true,” you shot your words at him like bullets leaving a gun, short and quick, one after the other.

“When I agreed to take Megumi under my care… I said I would do it only if you stayed with me. I said I wasn’t going to let you run away. And if you think for a second that I didn’t mean it then you really are fucking dense Fushiguro.”

Toji’s mouth quirked at the sound of you using his surname, you haven’t done that for a while. He set his sights on you for a reason all those years ago, he knew you were strong, he knew you were unwavering. He just never thought he’d meet someone as stubborn if not more stubborn than him. That’s why he knew you were the one he was going to leave Megumi with. And even now as he looked down at you he knew he made the right decision. You would chase him into the parking lot naked if he made a run for it and he knew that. No one was better for his family than you. His heart dropped when he felt your hand reach up to his, releasing him from his train of thought. You were beautiful. And he was sorry. And stupid for thinking that this wasn’t going to go over without a fight. He tightened his grip on your hand and knelt down to kiss it. Every knuckle. Every fingertip. And he knelt into your touch when you cradled his face.

You saw him make a swift movement from the corner of your eye, and you couldn’t move fast enough when you felt a piece of heavy metal weigh down your hand. In it Toji had placed a gun, you knew he always carried one but he’d keep it concealed around you. So you’d never actually seen it. To be holding it right now… you didn’t know what to do. You watched him as he moved to kneel behind you, his hand never leaving yours that held the revolver.

You gasped as he brought an arm around your waist, fixing your posture so you were upright. And he adjusted your arms so the gun was pointing at the door of the motel room. His hands laid loosely over yours and his head rested in the crook of your neck. Your breathing grew heavy when he traced from your hand all the way back to your upper arm, fixing its position and propping it up at a 90 degree angle.

“It’s like a dance, you see.” He whispered into your ear.

“If you hold it properly, and give it room to move,” he loosened your grip on the trigger.

“Not too tight, princess…” You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“It’ll hit all the right steps…” His finger covered yours on the trigger and you felt your heart stop, “and you’ll shoot ‘em dead.”

“Bang!” Toji mimicked the sound of a gun as you jumped backwards into him and screamed, eyes squeezed shut. But you didn’t feel the reverb of the gun, you didn’t hear anything piercing the wooden door, only the vibration of Toji’s low chuckle in his throat. You turned around to see him propped up on both arms, staring at you in amusement while you stared at him in shock.

Your hands shook as you examined the gun in your hands, before looking back up at his smiling face. His hands covered yours as he slowly took it out of your grip.

“What the fuck, Toji?” You whispered, scared as if you’d actually shot something.

“Safety’s on, sweetheart.” He teased, wrapping an arm around your neck and bringing you into him to place a wet kiss on your mouth. “I’ll let you do the real thing once you start getting good.”

“What?” You stared at him in disbelief, but he didn’t miss that glimmer of excitement in your eyes.

“I’ll teach you how to use a gun, I’ll teach you to fight, I’ll teach you whatever you want to know… so we can keep our kid safe.” He whispered, looking down at you with a warm smile on his face.

“Yeah?”

“Yes…” He whispered, “…I love you.” He added.

“I love you too,” you almost didn’t believe it.

“I mean it… I love you.” He repeated, like he could read your mind. But you were still hurt, and angry, and everything bad you could feel you felt.

“I- prove it to me… that you mean it… I’ve proved myself to you enough tonight Toji… and I won’t stand to be made a fool,” your words bit, and you hope he felt them draw blood. Toji pulled you back into his chest and buried his face in your hair, taking in your scent.

“You want me to prove it?” He whispered. His hands start to trail up your thighs, his mouth begins to place kisses on your neck. You sighed at his touch, placing your hands over his on your body.

“Mhm,” you whimpered, leaning into his chest, your body becoming overly sensitive to his movements again. Toji’s hands pushed at your thighs, “Open up for me, princess.” You did as you were told, sliding your feet slowly so they could meet his boots on the carpeted floor, putting your clothed heat on display for him. He continued to draw circles on your thighs, more forcefully now, inching your legs open wider.

“T-Toji, please,” you choked out, growing impatient.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered in your ear, sliding his hand under the waistband of your panties, his cold fingers scorched by your hot skin, “Come on… tell me, pretty girl. Had no problem biting my head off a moment ago.”

“Fuck you,” you seethed through gritted teeth, trying to amass any pleasure from rutting your hips upwards.

“Suppose I deserved that,” he chuckled, you could feel his chest shaking against your back. You leaned back into him and swung either of your legs over his highs, opening yourself up wide and demanding he touch you. “Dirty girl, that’s how you got tangled up with me in the first place- were just too damn needy…” His hand slipped under the crotch of your panties and you jerked as he placed his palm flat against you. Toji hissed at the wetness that met his skin, grabbing a handful of the slinky lace into his fist and tearing the cheap fabric off your body, “I’ll have to get you new ones.”

“Please, Toji, please,” you were practically whimpering, begging for him. Jolting as he slapped your waiting cunt once, catching you off guard as you hissed at him. You placed your hand around his forearm and guided it as he massaged the sting of his strike out.

“Tell me-“ He began again, letting his fingers slide up and down your folds, collecting all of the wetness before bringing them up to your mouth. You looked up at him behind you and he simply raised a brow, silently suggesting that you knew what to do. You took his hand in yours and dipped your mouth down onto the two fingers he pulled from beneath you, licking and sucking your arousal off of them.

“Good girl, now tell me…” He pulled his fingers from your mouth and shoved them back down to your weeping heat, this time pushing them in and curling them upwards, holding you in place as your body contracted.

“T-oji my god!” You gasped at the sudden movement. He shushed you, pressing his lips to your ear as his fingers writhed inside of you, “Shhh… tell me about how you’ve dreamed about giving me another baby,” Toji insisted, a glimmer of that ego shining through as he continued his ministrations, more aggressively this time, beginning to pump two fingers in and out of your cunt.

“Mph-fuck, Toji please-” His fingers continued, pushing in and out of you, kissing your ear when your head dropped back onto his shoulder.

“Tell me, pretty girl, and I’ll give you more,” he began to speed up, wrapping his spare arm around your torso to hold you flush against him, spreading his thighs further, ensuring that your legs spread with him. You moaned at the action, rutting your hips up into his hand as you gave him what he wanted.

“I- I’ve dreamed about it since we first bought the house together…” He began to place chaste kisses on your neck, sucking on the supple skin, adding a third finger inside of you. “Fuck… that’s too much To-”

“I think you can take it, how could you have my kids if you can’t even take three of my fingers, princess?” He started to pump slowly, letting you adjust to the size. “Now, go on.”

Your breathing was disorderly, your hands grabbing onto his thighs as you felt yourself swallow the girth of his fingers whole. “Ah- okay… w-we bought the house a-and, I think…” You thought back to the first time you set foot in the house after it was officially yours, you were in love with the Victorian architecture and since you loved it Toji loved it even more.

“I think watching you paint Megumi’s room that bright blue… seeing you covered in paint… making sure e-everything was perfect for him.” You hadn’t even noticed him speeding up, until he started circling your clit with his thumb and you could’ve sworn you were gonna explode. “Toji- please, I think I’m going to-”

“Not yet… finish,” he urged and you protested before you felt him land another strike to your clit, “Now.”

“Oh, my god!” Your eyes crossed when he resumed, your abdomen shaking at the sensation, “W-watching you made me realize t-that… t-that we were going to b-be okay-ah!” The arm around your torso made its way up to your breasts, pinching and twisting at your nipples. “...It made me realize t-that I want to be in this- w-with you…hmph… for a long t-time…” You looked up at him with pursed eyebrows and your mouth agape, finding him already staring at you. His face was warm, your entire being felt warm. And then he sped up, fingers pounding in and out of you, his mouth dropping back down to your neck to litter it with hickies, your legs grew stiff and you frantically jutted up into the palm of his hand.

“Toji- fuck! Please, please-”

“Tell. Me.” He growled, not letting up on his movements.

“I-I- oh fuck… I realized that I wanted to be with you… f-forever, To-ji. I wanted to h-have more kids w-with you a-and raise a f-amily…” Your eyes held his and you felt your toes curl and your insides turn. His mouth connected with yours, holding your jaw in place, as he growled into your mouth.

“Cum.”

You saw stars as his grip on your jaw tightened, swallowing all of your moans, all of your cries, and drinking them like they were a forbidden elixir. He held your legs open with his, pumping in and out of you relentlessly as he held your shaking body. You felt his length, hard against the small of your back, and you lost it completely when you felt him needily rutting up into you through his black denim. “Fuck Toji! I’m cumming. I’m cumming- ah!”

You two were a sweaty bundle of bodies, desperately rutting into each other, trying to be impossibly close to one another. You reached an arm around his neck and drew him into a wet kiss, hungrily biting and sucking on his lips, his tongue, any inch of him you could take in.

“More. Toji, please, I need you more.” You begged when his fingers finally released you. You wanted each other in ways you never had before, this time was… different. This time you two were consummating your own version of a fucked-up marriage. In sickness and health. In life and death. You would have each other completely. You felt how needy he was, the scent of your arousal on his mouth, on his hands, lingering everywhere, it turned him into an animal. You turned to face him and helped him out of his clothes. Peeling the shirt off his sweaty body as he kicked his boots off, licking a stripe up his abdomen with heaving breaths, your eyes never leaving him as you panted for him, need dripping off your tongue. Once you got to his neck, you began to leave bite marks along his collarbone, his jaw, your bare cunt rutting into his crotch, growling at the cotton boxer-briefs that kept skin from skin. Toji’s hands grazed over your body, tracing every curve and valley, letting you devour him, take him, do what you wanted with him.

“Take these off,” You breathed against his neck, fingers pulling at the waistband of the boxers, he chuckled, grabbing you by the back of the head and forcing your eyes to meet his, “As you wish, mama.”

Sure, there were partners before Toji, and the sex was fine. But no one had ever made you act the way he made you act. You were a partnership of two antagonists, just prodding and poking at each other to see who could make the other crazier. You were sure that tonight, Toji would win.

Mama.

You saw stars at the word and he knew it. Toji watched your eyes grow as dark as his in seconds, trailing his every movement as he lifted his hips up and slid his boxers down his legs. You watched his cock smack his stomach, so rock hard it looked like it hurt. You needed him in cynical, territorial ways. As did he to you.

“If you don’t put a baby in me right now Fushiguro…” His eyes widened at the vulgarness of your demand. He watched you kneel just feet away from him, observed the way your chest was heaving up and down, the locket he gifted you, the one you never took off, moving with it. He noticed the way your breasts looked heavier, nipples puffier. He noticed your arousal dripping down your thigh, he had never seen you so wet. And lastly, he noticed the way your hands guarded your stomach, as if they were guarding your precious womb until he came around to mark it.

“Get on your back,” he barked, climbing over to you swiftly, not giving you time to follow his directions on your own as he had you laid down against the carpet in seconds. He licked his lips as he watched you draw your bitten lips into your mouth, waiting for him to do something.

“Tonight I am going to fucking worship you,” he growled, smashing his lips to yours, jamming his tongue down your throat and licking you everywhere unholy. His lips trailed down your breasts, your stomach, and he stopped above your thighs, leaving bite marks all the way down. He blew a puff of air onto your sticky heat, before teasing you with a small lick. The second your thighs flew upwards his hands held them down, gripping onto the fat like they were lifesavers. He stuck his tongue in your folds, firmly tracing circles around your clit and following the patterns of your vulva.

“Toji!” You screamed, almost as if you wanted him to stop. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, you needed him to keep going. One of your hands tangled in his hair as the other held onto his, your body writhing like a fish out of water as he continued to suck and pull at your core, groaning into you every time you rode your hips against his face.

“I-I can’t, please I’m-” You gasped for air, desperately moving your body up and down with his mouth, riding out the waves of pleasure he was giving you. Your body was still sensitive from your orgasm just moments ago, you felt like you could burst at any moment. But Toji didn’t stop, he kept blowing air onto your clit, fucking you with his tongue and biting the soft skin around your mound. He reached up to grab hold of one of your breasts, squeezing and pinching as he himself ground into the carpet he laid upon. Your moans and your taste were his jet fuel, and he was getting off to every second of it. You watched his ass flex as he repeated his movements, drawing circles into the carpet with his cock. The sight of him desperately humping nothing sent you over the edge, screaming as you pulled at his hair, your thighs closing around his head.

“TojiohmygodI’mcummingfuck!” Your words came out a sloppy mess, unable to do anything but praise him for being so good to you. He continued to place kisses on your inner thighs until you were done riding out your high, your body finally falling back to the floor.

“Feel okay?” He asked calmly, rising to his knees as your body occasionally twitched in your post-orgasmic euphoria. He ran his hands up and down your torso, gently massaging once he got down to your pelvic bones, working out the knots and work you had just put in to getting off on his face. He knelt down to kiss you deeply, tenderly this time, inhaling your scent and running his hand over your head.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. His eyes searching for answers in yours, “I’m sorry,” he uttered, digging his forehead into the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry I tried to run away, you don’t deserve that.”

“Toji… I- I love you.” He kissed your forehead, his hand hitching themselves underneath your thighs, watching your eyebrows furrow together while he inched your knees up slowly.

“This comfortable?” He asked you for reassurance again and you nodded, and he pushed a little further, until your knees nearly touched your shoulders, you winced a little at the stretch of it, inhaling and exhaling deeply as he waited for you to adjust. When you open your eyes he’s looking down at you, kissing the insides of your calves and massaging them.

“It hurts a little?” He asks again gently and you nod. He chuckles quietly as he leans down to kiss you, you inhale sharply as he puts pressure on your legs, stretching your hamstrings even more than intended.

“If I’m gonna put a baby in you, this is the best way, princess.”

His words ran straight to your core, and you nodded frantically, feeling like a teenager having sex for the first time. So eager to feel him. This time with Toji felt different, call it- fucking with intention. Both of you felt the thickness of the air, you knew how much this meant. He placed a chaste kiss to your lips before whispering against them, “Let me know if you need me to stop.”

Your eyes nearly crossed at the suggestion of him fucking you so hard you’d need to call it in, you just wanted to feel him already, “Mhm… Toji, please.”

His head dropped to your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, gripping him tighter when you felt his tip prop itself at your entrance. He laid his body flat against yours, you screamed at the burning in your legs, folded back against you with the weight of his body, but you wanted more. His arms caged your head in on either side and that was when you felt it. Toji watched the way your face contorted, your mouth dropping and eyes squeezing shut as he filled you at an angle he never had.

“Fuuuck,” he exhaled, inching his length into you further and further. He felt you claw at his back, skin sticking under your fingernails as you groaned with him, two animals fucking to conceive. The most primitive state of the human, fucking to reproduce, to bear offspring, to grow a family.

“Toji-”

“Yes, princess,” he cut you off, “Oh fuck,” he gasped, bottoming out inside you, before hoisting your waist up to his and slinging your legs over his shoulders.

“T-Toji I’m so full!” You whined, grabbing onto his thighs folded on the floor as he knelt before you, buried deep in your cunt.

“I know, baby, I know… be good and let me put a baby in you, okay?” He asked, placing kisses to your calves once again. You panted, nodding up at him while he made his first move. You groaned as he pulled himself out, before splitting you back open and bottoming out once again, “Fuck Toji, I need-”

You felt it snap inside you again, whatever it was that made you feral, foaming at the mouth for the feeling of him inside you. “Toji I need you to fuck me…” You ground your hips into his, grasping at anything to give you leverage on his length. He looked down at you wearily, always so delicate, so fragile, “I don’t know if I should-”

“Fuck, Toji! Stop treating me like I’m glass and fuck me!” His eyes grew dark at your words, but still a glint of remorse held him back. You smacked at his chest, then looked down to remember that he was balls deep inside you, he seemed to remember at the same time because his stare turned wicked, “Look at me, Toji... I need you to fuck me baby.”

You felt him begin to pick up his pace, slowly but surely rutting into you, fucking you deeper and deeper with every thrust. “F-uck, Toji!” Your mouth dropped as you watched a string of spit leave his mouth and drip on to where his cock and your cunt met, you gasped for air when he reached down to spread it around, lubing you up and preparing to go deeper, “T-oji, TojiTojiTojiii, please baby.”

“Yes, pretty girl. Fuck yes.” He gritted through his teeth, groaning at the way your tits bounced with every thrust, he reached out and cupped one in his hand, “Fuck, your tits are gonna be so full in a few months…” Your eyes rolled back at the way he groped it, playing with your nipple. Then your eyes fell to where you two connected and his gaze followed, the two of you watching Toji reappear and disappear inside of you, your wetness covering his cock, and his arousal being shoveled deeper and deeper inside of you.

You squealed as he thrusted harder, laying on top of you and rutting down into your heat. “Go ahead and touch yourself for me,” Toji instructed, and so you did. And a familiar feeling began to bubble up in your stomach, and for the third time that night Toji would ruin you.

“Toji, please oh fuck-” He brought a hand up to your sweaty forehead, blowing air on it to cool you down, he then took your hand and placed it on your stomach, smirking as your eyes widened at what you felt.

“Feel that? Feel me inside of you?” He whispered, kissing you swiftly, feeling himself come close. You were a mess of moans and whines and you couldn’t even begin to explain the things that Toji was making you feel.

“Y-yes… yesyesyesdaddyIfeelit!” You cried as you circled your clit faster and pulled him closer, “Fuck yes! Right there baby, fuck me right there!”

Toji growled, his hands now clawing at your thighs, the picture of two animals fucking wildly. Something sent him tipping past sanity as he pushed your legs all the way back, your ass up in the air as he thrusted down into you.

“Call me that again…” He seethed, grinning cynically at the way your eyes glazed over, his hand wrapped itself around your throat, enough to let you breathe. The sensation was overbearing, you started writhing underneath him, squirming and twitching while he kept his pace.

“F-uck,” you choked out, cracking what smile you could with Toji’s hand restricting you, “I want you to fill me up, Daddy.” Toji saw red, and blue, and every color that you helped him see in the past two years, and he fucked them all back into you. He kissed you with tenacity, lips tangled with lips and limbs tangled with limbs.

“I’m close,” he seethed.

“Me too,” you whispered.

“Boy or girl, tell me and I’ll fill you,” he whispered against your lips, saliva, snot and sweat mixing as you two breathed heavily into each other's mouths. Toji’s neck turned red the longer he held in his orgasm, the veins of his arms popping as he held you tightly, maneuvering you so you were in the perfect position to receive him.

“I told you I don’t care,” you whispered back, feeling yourself close to the brink, tears forming in your eyes, “I told you I d-don’t care as long as I raise them with you.”

He smiled, “Pick a wild card.”

You smiled back.

“Girl,” you whispered. With your arms holding him closely against you, Toji began to writhe, his abdomen jerking in and out as he tried to control the strength of his orgasm.

“Fuck!” He screamed, fucking his seed into you, filling you up with himself. You pulled his face to yours and kissed him tenderly while you felt yourself clench around his length, milking him and riding out another orgasm of your own.

“Yes,Toji! Yesyesyes!” You wrapped your legs around his torso and held him there, feeling his body twitch as he continued to shoot loads of himself into you. Your body shook as you took everything he had to give you, placing your hands atop his as he held your legs back, the two of you watching him push every drop that fell out back in.

To think that you and Toji would end up here, there was a time when he was nothing but a fuck buddy to you, and you to him, now you desired something so intimate, so binding to his being. You couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly in his arms, and with that he looked down at you, smiling. Toji admittedly never smiled a lot before he met you, but as he looked down at you, he couldn’t be happier to smile in your presence.

“Do you think we… got it?” You asked him, out of breath.

He raised his eyebrows, “You would doubt my work?” You smacked his chest and pushed him off of you, attempting to stand up but finding yourself weak in the knees. Toji approached you from behind and lifted you up slowly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him.

“I think we should try the bed out next,” he whispered, “See if it’s still any good?”

You looked up at him in disbelief, “You want to do that again?”

“You don’t?” He smirked.

“Well I-” You thought for a second while you melted into his hold, “I don’t not want to do that again.” He emitted a dark sound, while kissing the top of your head, and leading you step by step over to the old mattress.

“Remember the first time we had sex here? I think I tied you to the headboard,” he suggested casually. Your hands tensed around his before you spun yourself around to face him, wanting to smack him, grin and all. He pushed himself into you and grabbed handfuls of your ass, lifting you up into him and taking in the sight.

“For old times sake, princess,” he persisted. Your tongue pushed at the inside of your cheek as you considered the idea. You supposed mother’s had to have fun too.

“...Just this once, asshole.”

“God, I love it when you call me that.”

858 notes · View notes

baekberrie · 1 month

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our pages | c.beomgyu

summary: In a university literature class, you and Choi Beomgyu, once estranged best friends, are assigned to rewrite the tragic ending of Romeo and Juliet. During your research in the library, you stumble upon an ancient book. Intrigued by its enigmatic aura, you find yourselves mysteriously drawn to it, and as you delve deeper, you inexplicably fall into a shared slumber. In your reverie, you are forced to embark on a journey of reconciliation and reflection. Guided by the ethereal world within the book's pages, you confront long-buried emotions and rediscover the true depth of your connection.

✧ ex bestfriend! beomgyu x ex bestfriend! reader

✧ romance, estranged best friends to ?? lovers kind of? Romeo and Juliet au, slight angst, forced proximity, hurt, and comfort, a hint of drama and fantasy

✧warnings: kissing, Beomgyu cusses here and there, some tonal switches, many dialogues

a/n: I've read through this one shot at least a hundred times so I skipped the proofreading because I was really eager to post it, i hope there aren't any atrocious mistakes (there shouldn't be). Anyway, happy reading!

✧ w/c: 13.7k (oops??)

“For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

Mr. Kim’s voice flowed in the silent literature hall, every person letting the tragedy sink in like ink on paper. The professor looked up from his script. “And that concludes the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet-” He spoke in short sentences, however, suspense hung in the air as he halted in his steps across the room.

“But it can’t end like this, don’t you agree?” The class let out a collective hum as they reflected on his enthusiastic question. Mr.Kim took the slightly undersized glasses off the bridge of his nose and placed them on the desk behind him.

It really can’t end like this,” Your best friend, Mia, sniffed into the paw of her sleeve, agreeing silently. Mentally, you shook your head at her dramatic antics. You knew that deep down, she didn’t really give a flying fuck about Romeo and Juliet, but since her toxic boyfriend was pushing and pulling again, it all hit close to home.

“I want you all to find a remedy to their story. I’ll pair you into groups of two, and together you’ll write the better ending for Romeo and Juliet.” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a suggestion, he was dead serious about this project. In all honesty, you found the ancient love story absolutely beautiful, however, couldn’t help but wonder who broke Mr.Kim’s heart enough for him to be so hung up over this fictitious separation.

Mia sneaked her hand into yours, shaking you out of your thoughtful state.

“Don’t you agree?” Her sad deer-like eyes came into your view, begging for your empathy. “It’s so sad, it’s like the worst way to part from someone,” She mumbled through her pouty lips. “ever,” a sniff came from her nose, shoulders slumping as she hit the backrest again.

“The worst way to part with someone?” You thought out loud. If someone were to ask you that question, you would undoubtedly answer with something other than Romeo and Juliet.

Fallouts. You thought. Yeah, those were definitely more painful.

More specifically, the fallout with Choi Beomgyu.

Sure, Romeo and Juliet’s separation hurt, you admitted while watching your best friend sulk about her toxic boyfriend leaving her for the fifth time that month; but have you ever been estranged from the dearest friend you’ve ever had? The question insensitively introduced itself in your head, but you quickly shooed it away. Romeo and Juliet, their love for each other, and the violence that broke them apart ended up becoming one altogether.

But cherishing someone so deeply, only to be cruelly pulled apart from each other, your relationship reduced to nothing but hostility. Leaving you to experience that pain every single time you cross paths with him. Wasn’t that just as painful, if not more? Knowing you’ll never be the way you once were.

Choi Beomgyu was by now a name that shouldn’t be pronounced in your presence, it was a name loaded with so many different feelings that you were better off burying down the deepest holes ever known to man.

You wanted to forget.

But like a cruel joke, the more you pushed it away the more everything would come crashing upon you with double force; The memories your heart cherished despite your efforts to suppress them, every little thing that he had given you, why did it still mean so much to you while all you harbored in your chest was a seething rage at the mere thought of him?

The young man was always smiling whenever you’d walk past each other in the busy hallways of the university. A part of you resented him for that. Whilst you were still stuck in time, he seemed to be completely fine. Like you never were a part of his life.

Has it been that easy for him to forget you?

You didn’t know why you were still hung up over it, even after all the time that had passed. Hence, you could barely recall the last time the two of you had spoken to each other more than two obligatory words. The only reason that you still knew what his voice sounded like was because you shared this literature class. Much to your dismay.

That explained the utter horror, disappointment, and betrayal contorting the features of your face as Mr. Kim’s lips enunciated your and Beomgyu’s name in the same sentence. Silent pleas were sent Mr. Kim’s way as you met his gaze with big eyes, shaking your head slowly and mouthing several desperate no’s. The old man mercilessly slid the information paper on your desk. He knew damn well the two of you weren’t on speaking terms, and yet there you were being paired up for a project where you had to find a better ending for the youthful lovers. The two of you hadn’t been able to find one for yourselves, how in the world were you going to fix Romeo and Juliet’s!?

Picking up your jaw, you whipped around in your seat to send the young man a fiery glare that could hopefully get the message across. But he was looking out the window, painfully obviously avoiding your confrontation. Shoulders dropping, you turned back around, feeling stupid. Don’t act like you care, you reprimanded yourself.

He doesn’t care, so why should you?

To your surprise, he cared enough to wait for you outside of class, and a silly part of your brain thought that maybe this was something you could get done without further problems. But that small hope soon wilted to nothing when Beomgyu opened his foul little mouth.

“I am not doing this with you.” He gritted through his teeth, the hostile tone immediately had your heartbeat quickening in your chest. Squinting your eyes, you pushed the paper Mr. Kim had given you into his chest. Beomgyu’s hands awkwardly fumbled to catch it.

“And I am not doing this on my own.” You hissed, bumping your shoulder into his. “I’ll see you in the library after class.” It was a warning, and Beomgyu should know better than to not show up. Though, deep down you knew that he owed you no such thing.

***

A few people were roaming around the library when you pushed through the glass doors, the wooden pavement creaking underneath the pressure of your feet. The scent of books and pages instantly embraced your senses, and you welcomed it by breathing it in. You found it somehow comforting, how the light of the setting sun laid itself on the walls like the most delicate of paints, and how the dust particles flickered in the sunrays, glistening like tiny stars.

Fingers tracing the long forgotten books on the oldest shelf of the library, dust tickled your nose but your eyes relentlessly kept searching for that title. The kind lady behind the desk had directed you here when you had asked for the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. She had been doubtful about the university library owning such an old piece of literature, but you tested your luck anyway. There was no better way to start this project than by finding different adaptations to compare and review.

A little frown puckered your brows when your fingertips suddenly sunk into the carved title on the back of a book at the end of the line. The color was faded gold painted into the brown leather cover protecting the ancient-looking book.

“Lovestory.” Your lips mouthed the title curiously. Finding the closest table, you threw your things on the next chair and sat down. Hands eagerly opening it, you noted how the yellowing pages were sewn beautifully into the leather.

Before your eyes could find any text, they fell on the odd illustrations. A fading picture of a princess-like woman adorned by a shimmering tiara around her soft hair. Her position was pensive as she stood by the railing of a balcony, staring into the night. However, what seemed to strike you about the picture was how her face was nonexistent. It wasn’t as if her face had faded with the age of the book, hence more like it had never been painted on purpose.

You felt your eyes droop tiredly as your gaze found the first sentences written in cursive ink. Your lips mumbled the sentences absentmindedly as you read.

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes, and the flashback starts

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air…

***

Many internal battles had taken place in the head of the young man. He hated to admit that he lost every single one of them, as he found himself standing in front of the glass doors of the library.

With a heavy sigh, he pushed his way in, nose taking in the woody smell etched onto the walls. His eyes scanned for the familiar face, but to his dismay, you were nowhere to be found. A frown creased his forehead as he started taking hesitant steps inside, figuring he would have to search for you deeper within the library.

The book archive felt like a maze as Beomgyu walked through every aisle and still did not find the slightest sign of you. For a moment he thought that you’d already headed home, successfully fooling him. Eyebrows twitching, he could feel his blood starting to boil.

Was that it? Had he really just lost this battle against you? Beomgyu wasn’t sure what he had expected once he’d convinced himself that he owed you this one since it was for a project, but it certainly hadn’t crossed his mind that you would pull such a petty little trick to get back at him. And he had fallen for it-

Beomgyu’s angry stomping suddenly halted when he found himself in an unrecognizable part of the library. He had been so deep within his inner turmoil that he hadn’t paid any attention to where he had unconsciously brought himself.

It surprised him, though, that out of all the spots he could’ve wandered into, he managed to blindly find you.

For there you were, hunched over the round table by the window, cheek squished against an open book with your parted lips threatening to salivate on its pages. Once Beomgyu had willed himself to step closer, the louder your snores resonated. He couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his throat at the familiar sight. Sitting himself on the opposite seat, he took a short moment to soak in the situation. It felt odd. He couldn’t remember the last time the two of you had been in each other’s presence like this, basking in the peaceful warmth of the sunset. Well, this was only possible because you were far into dreamland. He knew that if the both of you were to be awake, this would not have been a friendly meeting.

His gaze traveled along your features, following the path that your hair made while scattered over the table, covering the book you had approved as a very comfortable pillow, for you to snore like that, he thought.

But that was when it hit him.

The book. What book were you even reading? Beomgyu felt an unknown sense of curiosity and urge flow within him, sending an itch into his fingers. Ever so gently, he caressed your hair and tucked an amount behind your ear, revealing the old novel you had been reading. A confused frown puckered his brows as he saw the antiquity of it. Carefully, he removed it from the captivity of your head, but not without making sure that your cheek landed back down softly, with his palm gently guiding your face safely to the surface again.

Beomgyu closed the book to admire its build, with the old leather running underneath his fingertips, he pronounced the carved-out title of the book.

Lovestory.

He flipped it open, the first page revealing the suave illustration of a beautiful young woman from a long time ago. It didn’t take him much to know that whatever this book was about, the heroine of this story was her. For some reason, Beomgyu felt a sense of familiarity wash over him by looking at the illustration. Then it dawned on him and a shiver ran down his spine, fingers tightening around the page.

“This girl looks an awful lot like-“ he gasped, looking away from the yellowing pages down to your sleeping figure in front of him, making sure that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. Only to realize that the lady in the book was identical to you.

No, actually,

It was you.

"What the fuck.” The young man shuddered, nothing less than creeped out. For a split second, he considered closing the book. But his curiosity was stronger than him, and before he knew what he was doing, his hand had already flipped over to the following page. The new illustration was only going to perplex the boy further. His lips fell open, completely entranced as his orbs drank in the sight of you in a beautiful dress and a shimmering tiara coronating your head. You were standing on a balcony, hand reaching out to a man climbing his way up to you. Roses and flowers surrounded the two. Nothing short of a fairytale.

In this scene, he had seen it somewhere, but he couldn’t pinpoint it just yet, although the answer was tickling his tongue.

The man climbing your balcony was the most confusing feature to him, for he had no face. Beomgyu couldn’t tell whether the paper was just old enough to be faded, or if it had never been painted. But even then, it made no sense. Because your face, your rosy cheeks, and your sparkling eyes were ever so vivid. Almost as if you’d jumped right into the book. Beomgyu eventually spotted the worn-out text underneath the picture, and read it out.

See the lights, the party, the ball gowns

See you make your way through the crowd

Little did I know…

That you were Ro-

A yawn broke through his lips, his eyelids felt like they weighed tons as he slowly let them fall shut, head coming to rest upon the open book. Beomgyu tried to fight the sudden tiredness in his mind, but the slumber taking over him was like the song of a mermaid luring him in.

Just like that, he had fallen into dreamland as well, missing the way the faceless man climbing the balcony came to life.

Beomgyu felt his body jolt awake, his eyes shot open after what felt like just a few seconds- but the view in front of him was nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. There was no library, no old books, but most importantly, you weren’t there. However, before he could even start to worry, a strong arm came around his shoulders, an unknown figure pulling him close.

“Romeo! Why did you leave us like that?”

What?

Beomgyu turned his head to find a young man just about his age, his Cheshire-like eyes stared at him with a mischievous smile through a mask that covered just half of his face. The ornament was beautiful, with sparkling gold patterns scattered onto it. His gaze traveled to the man’s clothes, noticing the Renaissance details. Beomgyu winced when he recognized the man.

”Yeonjun?” He asked, baffled. ”What are you doing here?”

The man in question narrowed his eyes helplessly, hesitancy vibrating in his voice as he spoke. ”Yeon…Pardon me?” His confusion was slowly becoming Beomgyu’s very own as well.

”What do you mean pardon?” Beomgyu scratched the back of his head, he was sure that this man was his best friend Yeonjun and not someone he had mistaken.

”Yeonjun, can you be serious for one second, what are we doing here?” He snapped, noticing the way Yeonjun was looking him up and down with uncertainty.

Beomgyu checked his clothing quickly, confirming his suspicion. He was also wearing elegant pieces that resembled the ones of his friend. Only then did he realize the weight of the mask resting upon his nose. His hand reached upwards, fingertips running along its curves.

”And why are you wearing these clothes? Let’s take it off!” He started pulling the first buttons of his shirt open, causing the friend to panic as he grabbed Beomgyu’s hands at the speed of light. Confusion swirled in his dark eyes.

”You must have lost your wits, my friend, I am Mercutio! Don’t tell me you have forgotten. Did someone poison you?” Yeonjun, or should he say Mercutio? Brought him closer to inspect if he had any injuries. Beomgyu had a hard time keeping his jaw up as he watched his friend act like he wouldn’t usually laugh with joy whenever he was in misery. Yeonjun’s brows were scrunched in worry as his hands gently tapped his cheeks.

”You appear unaffected, though…” The older man continued to murmur through his pouting lips to himself, and that itself confirmed Beomgyu’s conclusion that all of this was a dream.

It was the first time that the boy woke up in a dream. There was an odd feeling in his body that he couldn’t quite pinpoint, and the more he pondered on it, the harder it became to put his finger on it. But for some reason, he accepted the circumstances pretty quickly. It wasn’t so out of pocket for a dream to be ridiculous, hence, he’d had crazier dreams than this, so why not go with the flow?

“I apologize?” Beomgyu tried his luck with the words. Although they were studying about the Renaissance at university, he had no clue about how they used to speak at that time.

“I could not fight my eagerness, friend.” Cheeks meeting his eyes, Beomgyu reassured him. Relief replaced immediately Mercutio's previous worry like it had never been there, laughing knowingly and pulling him along to wherever they had been destined.

Music and cheerful chatter from afar danced in the nightly air, the boy could spot a grand castle-like building in the distance. The place emitted a warm light and an inviting aura that called for him.

As they went on, the only thing Beomgyu had discovered was how they were not supposed to enter this masquerade behind the walls facing them. It wasn't a simple, you're not invited. But a pretty serious risk for trouble. And yet, his friend charmed the guards with his convincing acting, successfully fooling them into allowing them to enter. Well, it seemed like Yeonjun still had some of his actual traits despite acting like a madman just a few moments ago.

The main event started just as the two young men had made their way in. Beomgyu’s lips parted in shock at the amount of people roaming the hall. This wasn’t just any party, he realized, it was a whole ball. The women were dressed ever so beautifully, each gently targeting their man of interest with a mere gaze through their masks, hoping that they would come to sweep them off their feet.

“Welcome Gentlemen!” A man whom Beomgyu understood couldn’t be anyone but the lord of the house, warmly saluted his guests, shaking their hands heartily. “Come in! Come in!” He waved Beomgyu and his friends in, not having the tiniest suspicion upon seeing these masked youths enter his party. His mood seemed to have touched the stars as he gladly spoke to everyone.

“Who is that?” Beomgyu carefully whispered to Yeonjun, not knowing what answer he was expecting. His gaze was too busy scanning the hectic crowd to even see the deflated shoulders and exasperated gaze of Mercutio.

“What query is this?” He reprimanded, “Do not feign ignorance of the visage of a Capulet, Romeo."

Capulet.

Wait, Romeo?

His head whipped to look at his friend. Eyes wide, struggling to keep himself up.

“Is my name Romeo?” Beomgyu spoke a little too loud, earning a few looks from around. He couldn’t explain the sudden sense of fear in the revelation. It was just a dream after all. A really stupid one at that. Why the hell would he dream about being Romeo? Had Mr. Kim shoveled this Romeo and Juliet agenda so far down his throat that he ended up dreaming about it?

Mercutio sent daggers through his eyes, warning him to keep quiet.

“Have you taken leave of your senses, my friend?!” He yelled in hushed tones. “Do not reveal yourself like that! Be vigilant for Tybalt and hush.” With a shake of his head, Mercutio averted his gaze back to the Capulet patriarch who was currently inviting every lady to dance without a worry in the world.

“My ladies, it would be a delight to see you dancing! Only those girls with corns at their feet will say no! Do not shy away, may all of you please yourselves with this dance!” Capulet exclaimed, animatedly speaking with his hands, throwing them up in the air. His delighted laughter echoed against the stone walls as he with glistening eyes signaled the musicians to start playing.

Let the party begin.

Beomgyu watched his “friends” adjust their masks, nodding at each other knowingly, not forgetting to acknowledge him as well before they all dispersed themselves into the crowd with the plan of enjoying themselves.

And that was how he found himself leaning against the wall by himself, slightly shivering at its low temperature. His gaze wandered along the surroundings. The warm fairy lights, the extravagant ball gowns. Women wearing shy expressions whilst putting their hands in another man’s palm. While others smiled like they had been waiting their whole life for this occasion and dragged their men to the dance floor. Despite his confusion as to why he was dreaming of such specific happenings, it still was an amusing sight to see how people in the old ages seemed to act just like today’s young people did.

Rather than dreaming so vividly, Beomgyu felt like he was watching a story unfold right in front of him.

Beomgyu’s long train of thought was cut by the jump that his heart made to his throat as a certain someone entered his field of view. There she was, dancing in the arms of a man unknown to him, but at that moment, it didn’t matter who was accompanying her. Beomgyu’s lips fell apart as he drank in her movements that were light as though a floating feather. The white dress hugging her chest fell like the most breathtaking waterfall down to her feet, fluttering behind her as she danced across the floor. The tiara on her head glittered like stars scattered over her hair and at that moment, the young man couldn’t be more sure of this being a dream.

There she was.

He didn’t even have to ask to know who the ethereal woman was.

Juliet.

Little did he know, that wasn’t Juliet.

The same way that he wasn’t Romeo.

That was you.

An unknown force surged within him, a newfound resolution. And before he was even aware of what he was doing, his body was already pushing through the dancing crowd to get to you. His mind was in a haze as he chased you who moved like a fairytale. There was an urge in his movements, almost like you’d disappear if he’d be even a second too late. Beomgyu could barely recognize himself, it was as if a part of Romeo had rooted itself within him. It seemed like he’d be sharing every emotion, every thought of the youth in love tonight.

His heart was drumming relentlessly against his chest, asking to be set free as he extended his arm out, successfully grabbing your soft hand. A gasp came from your lips as Beomgyu spun you into his arms. Chest rising and deflating in heavy breaths, the young man looked almost desperate as he searched for your gaze.

Was I in love before? My eyes convinced me not, since I never realized what true beauty is before tonight. Romeo’s words echoed in Beomgyu’s head as if they were his very own thoughts, but he shook them away whilst taking you to a less crowded space.

“Beomgyu?” He heard your voice for the first time since he saw you, and its sound grounded him in the chaos of this ridiculous dream.

“Why are you in my dream?” The question had the young man halt in his steps, spinning on the balls of his feet to see your genuinely confused frown.

“What do you mean by your dream?” Beomgyu cocked a brow, feeling how Romeo’s overwhelming emotions were finally being suppressed by his usual self.

“This is my dream, I can be here all I want.”

You shook your head, for a short moment drawing his gaze to the sparkling tiara on your head. “I was here first.” You deadpanned, only to see Beomgyu’s face fall in disbelief.

“There is no such thing in a dream, what the hell are you talking about?” The boy felt his frustration rise, but so did you upon hearing his tone.

“Woah,” you breathed out, crossing your arms. “You’re still an asshole despite this being a dream.”

Beomgyu’s lips pressed into a thin line at your statement, he couldn’t find any words to defend himself.

“Look,” you sighed, ending the short silence before it could become heavier.

“I don’t know why I’m having you in my dream but please leave, go your own way, I don’t care.” Your fingers slowly went to hug your body as you averted your gaze away. “I just want to continue this dream for as long as I can, let me be Juliet in peace and we won’t have any more problems.” Although you hadn’t let anything on, Beomgyu could still spot the hurt in your voice as you begged him to leave and it put an unexplainable weight on his chest.

The pain in your voice was an ancient one.

He should have wanted to leave, but inexplicably, he found himself unable to take even a single step away from you. Beomgyu was unsure if it was Romeo once again plaguing him with his emotions or if he was starting to lose his mind. Because what he said next caught him off guard, just as much as the previous thoughts had.

“But I am Romeo.”

You looked at him from underneath your lashes, arms falling limply to your sides.

“No, you’re not.” You said weakly, dejected. The insistence on rejecting him felt all too familiar, flashbacks of the past clouded his head for a second and he felt dread shroud his being.

The young man insisted, "Yes, I am. And you're Juliet," as he nodded at you. What was he trying to prove? He didn't know. Was he attempting to prolong the conversation with you? Perhaps, but the reason behind it eluded him. Despite his confusion, something about this entire experience felt authentic. It couldn't have been a mere coincidence that the two of you met in this dream as the two youths in love.

“It doesn’t matter-“ You were ready to turn around, and seeing your back about to face him made a sense of panic tighten his chest.

“Isn’t it odd though?” He interjected before you could completely face away from him.

You halted your movements with a frown, silently telling him to go on.

“Why are we, out of all people, meeting here, in these specific circumstances?”

“Where are you getting with this, Beomgyu, what is it to you? I don’t get it.” You tried to dismiss his words, although they had already found their way under your skin quicker than you’d liked.

Lips pressed together, his eyes chasing your gaze. It was almost as if he was thinking out loud. "I'm sorry," he murmured with a shaky voice. "I didn't mean to start on the wrong foot. I..." He ran his fingers through his hair, a familiar gesture you've seen him do for years. You could see his frustration growing. Beomgyu seemed to be struggling with something, and it was starting to show. The resolve he had held onto for so long was starting to crumble, and he realized just how exhausted he was to pretend.

To pretend like he hated you.

The longer he took you in, the more he felt himself slip like sand through the cracks of his hands.

He did miss you. And this was just a dream, anyway.

So it wouldn't hurt to act however he- Romeo felt like, right?

He drew in a deep breath before pronouncing the words that were dancing just on the top of his tongue, words that he had been holding back since the very second he'd seen you in the dancing crowd.

"Can we just forget everything between us, and let whatever this is…continue?" His head hung low like the hope in his heart, expecting a harsh rejection. He wouldn't blame you, he was making no sense. One second he was raging against you and the next he was begging you to let him stay with you. Maybe he was out of his mind, but for some reason as he looked at you, nothing mattered. You were the most beautiful creature God created and the reason for his life-

"Okay," your gentle voice cut through, and the boy jolted with joy at the positive response. Your shimmering eyes showed surrender, the twinkle of someone who did not want to fight.

Your gazes locked for a few moments, the silence thick and uncertain. Beomgyu's cheeks dusted an embarrassed shade of pink as he left your eyes to look elsewhere.

"So what now?" A nervous laugh spilled from his lips.

You murmured to him, "You have to say your lines." making him almost bashful underneath your unwavering stare. You knew it was rude to stare, but there was no way you couldn't be savoring this moment.

"Huh?"

"You have to let the Romeo within you speak, only that way, the story can continue." Having been within this dream longer, you had already figured its system out. You had expected the boy to look at you with confusion, but he surprised you when he nodded with determination.

Letting his eyelids fall shut, he took a deep breath and opened the doors of his heart to the youth whose love was like a burning rose- beautiful and passionate.

A gasp left his lips at the sudden wildfire spreading in his chest. Eyes fluttering open, he hastily walked up to you. Romeo's urgency ran through his veins as he desperately took your hands in his. The light in Beomgyu's eyes had changed, his eyebrows bent in pain as he searched for your gaze but only found uncertainty and worry. He quickly withdrew his hands from yours, causing you to miss the comforting warmth of his touch.

“I fear I’ve defiled your hands, which are like a holy shrine to me, by touching them with my own unworthy hands.” From his eyes dropped honey as he took you in, lips tenderly speaking to your heart. Your heart pounded furiously in your chest, its rhythmic thumping echoing in your ears. You couldn't tell if it was your heart or Juliet's that was racing at breakneck speed. The emotions that surged within you were like nothing you had ever felt before, a mixture of fear, excitement, and uncertainty that left your throat feeling tight. You were lost in Beomgyu's captivating gaze, his deep brown eyes like vast oceans that threatened to swallow you whole. For a moment, you forgot where you were and who you were with, lost in a universe of your own. Breaking your long eye contact, you hastily spun around, allowing the young man to only face your back.

As you stared into the starry night, you were slowly understanding the depth of this love, a love you’ve always deemed so unreal. But as you donned the young woman’s clothes, you couldn’t help but hope that this could end in a different way than it was destined to.

Despite you turning your back, the enamored young Romeo was not easily discouraged. You heard him move closer, the sweet scent of his skin caressing your senses as he leaned over your shoulder, lips brushing against your ear as he murmured;

“But I have an agreeable way to make it up to you. My lips are ready to smooth over that rough touch with a tender kiss, like two devoted pilgrims before a holy place.”

It felt as if you’d grown a second heart swelling with excitement behind your ribcage, yearning to let its wings soar. At that point, it was hard to tell if the eager butterflies fluttering their wings and dancing in your belly were your own or Juliet's. But it didn’t matter, you realized. You wanted to savor every moment, you wanted every instant to etch itself into your memory so that you could rewatch it in eternity. With hasty movements, you faced him again, not missing the way his face lit up.

”Good worshiper, you’re too harsh on your own hand,” Beomgyu watched with devotion as you picked his wrist up, and with your other hand ran the tips of your fingers along his own, aligning them until his palm was softly kissing yours.

”as it shows a perfectly polite devotion by holding mine.” You let your gaze meet his.

”After all, pilgrims touch the hands of saints, and the hands kiss when their palms are brought together.” You breathed, in your mind tracing the silver lines of the moon illuminating Beomgyu’s features, adoring the sweet shadow that his long lashes cast down his blushing cheeks.

The male stepped closer, your kissing palms now between your chests pressing against one another, a soft breeze brushed through the long, brown locks caressing his neck.

”Yes, but don’t the saints and the worshipers have lips, too?” He curled a brow, searching for your gaze, but your eyes shied away as you settled for your intertwined hands.

”Yes, pilgrim,” you swallowed, still looking down, ”lips that they should use for prayer.”

Beomgyu’s hand left yours, and for a moment you felt your heart drop. Until his fingers soon eagerly returned to caress your rosy cheek.

”Well then, dear saint, let our lips do what our hands are doing.” His palm finally embraced your face, the pad of his thumb softly rubbing back and forth the surface of your skin. ”They’re praying for something after all, a kiss, so their faith doesn’t turn into despair.” Daringly, he lifted your chin so you could meet his gaze. Your heart raced as you whispered your response.” Saints don’t act first,” Your eyes drifted from his gaze, down the tall bridge of his nose, and onto his plush lips, despite the words that threatened to escape your throat.

"Although they may respond to prayers." It was as if the both of you had been cast under a spell. The most beautiful spell known to man, completely immersed in the addictive sweetness of this love, neither of you wanted to pull away.

Eyes hooding, threatening to fall shut at any moment. It was the effect of the powdery scent deriving from the whole of you. A wish to be wrapped up in it ignited within him. Beomgyu had barely noticed how minimal the distance between you had become. His lips were hovering over yours, breaths mingling into one single source of air.

”Then don’t move while I get my prayers answered.” Beomgyu breathed before his pillows landed between yours, a sweetness spreading on your palate reminding the inner Juliet of the delight of honey and milk. He sighed with relief when your lips responded to his as if this kiss had truly saved your faith from turning into despair. As if your lips had saved him from a lifelong agony.

Your lips detached slowly and hesitantly, only letting go for the sake of your lungs.

”Now all the sin has been purged from my lips thanks to yours.” A sweet smile that he couldn’t hold back spread on his lips as his orbs traced the beauty of your face. What kind of blessed dream was this, to have Beomgyu looking at you like that?

You couldn’t resist the contagiousness of his joy. ”Then that sin has passed from your lips to mine.” You beamed.

”A sin from my lips?” He repeated with feigned shock, a sweet laugh hearable in his timbre. ”Oh what a sweetly suggested trespass! Give it back to me.” His lips crashed once again upon yours, hands cradling your cheeks as his mouth gently parted yours.

”You kiss by the book.” You said through your slightly swollen lips, eyes smiling behind your cheeks. He chuckled breathily. Both of you had forgotten who you truly were.

”Juliet! Juliet!!” A woman’s voice called for you, and it took you a while before you realized that you had to react. Realization seemed to dawn on Beomgyu as well as the smile dissipated from his lips, the honey in his eyes replaced by confusion and you felt your heart break a little.

”What did we just-”

”I have to go,” You didn’t let him finish his sentence, telling yourself that it was because you had to flee the scene for the story to proceed. Deep down knowing that you were protecting your heart from a pain you had sworn you wouldn’t ever feel again because you and Beomgyu were over. But that was in real life, so why was that expression of Beomgyu’s following you even in this seemingly sweet dream?

A bitter laugh rang into the summer night as you started running away from the stunned man. So was this a joke? How could you have thought that being Juliet would have brought you anything less than pain?

What a fool you were.

“Juliet!” You heard once again when rounding the corner of the castle. Your best friend Mia appeared, dressed in clothes less refined than yours, still reflecting the fashion of the ancient century. You could imagine that her rank was significantly lower than yours. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you, Lady Juliet.” She gasped, clearly winded from the marathon she must have run whilst looking for you. You were insecure about how to reply, not quite sure of which character she was supposed to fulfill. If you and Beomgyu were the star crossed-lovers, then perhaps she was…?

“Come with me! Your curfew has long passed, we must hasten!” Mia urged her voice a loud whisper that still managed to echo slightly against the stony walls surrounding you. Gently grabbing your wrist, she propelled you forward with a force unexpected for a tiny girl like her. With brisk steps, the two of you walked down a stone path leading to a hidden passage.

“Who might you be, pardon my question?”

The young woman halted her stride abruptly, long hair flowing down her back as she turned to cast you with an incredulous gaze. “Have you lost your wits entirely to that Romeo?” she exclaimed. “I warned you he was unsuitable for you, my lady!” She surely knew her stuff, you noted, and was pretty opinionated as well. But that was nothing short of Mia. You couldn’t help the tiny smile that was etched onto your face. Her presence brought you an infinite amount of comfort.

“I can sense our dear friendship, but forgive that I cannot quite recall…” You inquired once more, sporting a playful pout on your rosy lips. The young woman’s shoulders visibly sagged with surrender as she took a small step to face you fully.

“I am your faithful Nurse, my lady,” she replied with a slight curtsey, her expression softening with affection. "M'lady, your forgetfulness after meeting with that gentleman truly wounds me." She sniffed and adverted her gaze elsewhere, something she’d usually do when she feigned anger in your regards. The soft moonlight danced on her pretty cheeks and you couldn’t help but note how this era flattered her ancient beauty.

“Please, let us retreat to my chamber, there I’ll tell you all about my encounter with Romeo.” If you knew your best friend, then you were sure that there was no better bait than her favorite topic; love. She was judgemental of Romeo but deep down, you knew that she would devour any details of your faithful encounter with the lad. Not that you were enthusiastic about recalling it, for reasons all too clear.

You watched as Mia’s eyes widened with joy and excitement, her hands coming together into a thankful hold. Cheeks meeting her sparkling irises into the biggest smile you’d ever witnessed. You knew you had won her over.

***

A few hours had gone since your Nurse had left your room. She’d squealed like a tiny hamster and kicked her feet like a high-school girl upon hearing what had happened between you and Beom…Romeo, as if she hadn’t completely regarded him as unsuitable just a few minutes prior. But you weren’t a bit surprised, she was a known sucker for romance. But perhaps, you were a little too.

Now that she was gone though, you found yourself completely unable to unwind.

You had spent the entire night, wide-eyed, watching the moonlight caress the walls of your room, until it slowly gave way to the warm hues of daylight. You had lost track of the countless sunsets and sunrises that had passed since you made your escape from the scene a few days ago. As you sat on the balcony, feeling the sweet breeze on your skin, you couldn't help but ponder over the situation. It occurred to you that nothing significant had happened since you left, leaving you wondering if the story had come to a pause until you and Beomgyu met again. You kicked up the hem of your long dress to let the wind cool your warm skin.

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks as you recalled the insane kiss with Beomgyu. The pressure of the kiss still lingered on top of your lips along with that sweet scent of his that had etched itself onto your memory. His warm fingertips that had caressed your cheeks, his lashes tickling your skin. Were dreams truly so vivid?

"That's a big problem," you muttered to yourself as you walked back into the beautiful room you were slowly growing accustomed to. You’d never even dared to dream of owning such a priceless chamber, filled with even more valuable furniture.

Throwing yourself back onto the soft bed, you rolled onto your stomach, feeling the weight of your worries pressing down on your chest. You hugged the nearest pillow to yourself, hoping it would somehow alleviate the ache in your heart. You couldn't help but let the worst thoughts cloud your mind as time passed, yet seemed so sickeningly still. A muffled scream vibrated against the lavish fabric of the pillow now pressed against your face, a desperate attempt to release the pent-up anxiousness and frustration you felt. Your feet kicked against the mattress. Would Beomgyu think less of you now? Would he even want to see you again after such a…kiss? The questions swirled around in your head, taunting you with their uncertainty.“Romeo…” You sighed slowly, “Beomgyu out of all, why did you have to be Romeo…” You complained only to be met by silence.

“Ngh-” A sudden grunt deriving from the balcony had you scramble up from your past position with haste. Hair disheveled, Beomgyu had one leg over the railing of your balcony. The dagger hanging around his waist crinkled as he landed with a thump. His shirt was slightly scrunched up and you thought you saw a leaf tangled in his soft locks before you got distracted by his voice when he puffed out his next words.

“Why the hell are there so many guards around here?!” He huffed, dusting his pants. He was standing by the big opening of your room, the long curtains by your windows fluttering him welcome along the dancing breeze.

As if your legs had given out, you couldn't find any strength to step off the bed as you incredulously took in the very man who had been keeping you up for consecutive nights.

“Beomgyu?” Your voice faltered. It felt unreal to see Beomgyu standing there. Did his visit mean he wasn't mad or bothered by the kiss? The young man seemed unbothered as he coyly welcomed himself into your chamber, sitting himself down on your bed with a deep sigh and sprawling his tired legs before him. “hmm,” He hummed hoarsely, his arms extended behind him as he leaned his head back. Staring up at the endless details of your painted ceiling made him feel dizzy.

He was avoiding your gaze, you noted. The silence was thick and the slight tensing of his jaw told you that he was also battling an inner turmoil. Perhaps that matter was better off unsolved, you told yourself. It wasn’t your true self acting that night anyway.

Yes, you concluded. It was better this way. The weight lifted itself off your chest.

Just as your lips were about to part with a sigh, breaking the heavy silence, the young man beat you to it. “We’ve been stuck here for days,” Beomgyu remarked, his gaze still fixed on the celestial ceiling. You pressed your lips together, silently concurring as you nodded. Fidgeting with the delicate lace of your dress, you missed the glance Beomgyu stole at you.

“If we don’t do something soon, I fear the story will remain frozen in time,” your voice whispered gently, tip-toeing through the air to reach his ears, “forever.” Finally, your eyes met his, locking in a silent pact of understanding. Something suddenly flickered in his gaze, a dreadful kind of realization that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“What if the fastest way to get out of here is to…” Beomgyu’s voice came out delicate and uneasy, fading into the sentence as he feared his own words. Swallowing thickly, he parted his lips again. “Die, the way Romeo and Juliet did.”

Your breath caught as the implication sank in.

Mouth agape and trembling, unable to say anything for a while.

“We have to die…” You repeated with disbelief, albeit agreeingly as you recalled the tragic ending of the star-crossed lovers.

Beomgyu nodded, his expression solemn. "It's the only way I can think of. Maybe... maybe that's what the dream wants. Closure. An ending."

Your heart plummeted into the pit of your stomach at the thought, but there was a deviant sense of inevitability settling over you. "But... what happens after? What if we can't wake up?"

The boy could only find it in himself to lift his shoulders in a sincere shrug.

“I can’t say,” He confessed thoughtfully. “It’s a scary thought, I understand if you don’t want to try this solution-”

“No,” In opposition to the doubt that had started seeping into his voice, you felt the determination swarm your chest as you suddenly rose to your feet.

“We’ll do it.” You interjected firmly. Beomgyu watched you wide-eyed, skin tingling as you gently took his hand in yours, pulling him up towards you. Having lost Beomgyu that faithful day, you were pretty sure that you’d already lost everything. You had nothing else at risk. It was all just a bittersweet dream after all. None of this was real.

He seemed to have lost his tongue, or perhaps he had lost himself in your gaze, his ears ringing with his very own heartbeat.

“Are you sure?” In his warm irises danced small flickers of concern and admiration. The underlying fear in his deep timbre comforted you. This was the most the two of you had ever talked in years. The lack of hostility felt unfamiliar, but a rare gift. You wished to never forget the soft expression on his features and the concern he was mustering towards you.

Perhaps, somewhere in his heart, he did still care for you.

“I’m sure,” your unwavering determination had the corner of his lips lift, a small, barely noticeable smile. A glimmer of hope twinkled in his eyes. In reality, your head was spinning and the fear was consuming you from the inside. But you wouldn’t back away. "If this is what it takes to break free from this endless cycle, then we have to try," you affirmed.

"Alright," he whispered, his fingers tightening around yours in a silent promise. "Together, then." You nodded, egging him to go on.

The air was thick with anticipation, the echoes of your impending fate whispering through the stillness.

Beomgyu's voice was steady as he spoke. "My dearest Juliet, if this be our destiny, then let us meet it with courage and love."

Your breath caught in your throat as you met his gaze, the depth of his brown eyes reflecting the same fear and determination swimming in yours. "My sweet Romeo, together in life and death, our love shall transcend even the boundaries of this dream." You breathed out.

The youth nodded with a sense of grief etching onto the strings of his heart. Bringing your trembling fingers to his wavering lips, he pressed them against your cool skin and closed his eyes. "Farewell, my love," he murmured against your hand.

A shudder left your mouth as you echoed his broken words, and Juliet’s tears welled up in your eyes.

“Farewell, my dearest,” You spoke barely above a whisper, a gentle hand reached for the apple of his cheek where the dampness of the summer heat lingered. Your thumb left tender strokes on the surface of his skin. Your feet slowly rose onto your toes, noses grazing and eyelashes tickling each other's cheeks. Brushing your lips against his for the last time.

A feather-light pressure on his pillows transcended into something deeper, more beautiful when he parted his lips slowly against yours. Agony and comfort were all you could taste. Your heart ached when you parted. Beomgyu’s eyes remained closed as a pained expression contorted his brows. "Together, my love," he reminded, perhaps to give himself more courage as he reached for the side of your hair, taking out the sharp jewelry that had been holding your locks up. Hair cascading softly onto your shoulders, you reached out for the dagger that had been hanging by his waist. Taking a deep, shaky breath, you nodded once more. Directing it towards your stomach.

Your breath got lost in your lungs as you pushed the dagger further, edges puncturing through your body. With your eyes squeezed shut, you dreaded for the pain to settle. The thick silence only offered the rhythm of your staggering breaths, until the noise of something cracking pierced through the air. Looking down hastily, you witnessed the surreal view of the dagger in your hands shattering into millions of glistening fragments. They faded into thin air. Your eyes hurried to meet Beomgyu’s, only to find him as shaken as you, with his hands void of any sharp object.

At that moment, the inexplicable occurrence bound you both in a shared bewilderment as you both realized something;

It wasn’t over yet.

Not like that.

You parted your lips to say something, but the words got stuck in your throat. What had just occurred? It was almost as if the story was stopping you from undergoing the painful death.

“Did…Did we do it the wrong way?” You wondered out loud, perplexed. “Is it because we didn’t drink poison like in the original script-” Beomgyu cut you off with a shake of his head, arms falling limply by his sides.

“No, I frankly don’t think that’s it. The premise was dying together and that’s what we tried,” The unreadable expression in his eyes told you that he too, was short of solutions and explanations. “But we can’t give up yet,” He declared softly, an ancient determination that you knew all too well flickered in his irises. “there has to be another way.” His stubborn nature reminded you of the past you shared, sending your heart into a frenzy. You recalled blaming him for years, for changing and leaving you behind, but as you stood before each other, you were met by a Beomgyu who continuously nurtured the nostalgia that had been swimming in your chest since the very moment he’d caught your hand in the dancing crowd.

Your gaze softened upon him.

Your heart echoed his sentiments, the flicker of hope igniting within you. "You're right," you replied, your voice steady despite the turmoil swirling inside. "We need to find a better ending, one where we both survive."

A better ending, one where you both would survive…

With a sudden gasp, you grasped his hands, catching him off guard. Beomgyu stumbled slightly, his eyes widening with surprise and curiosity at your sudden fervor.

"Of course!" you exclaimed with a new sense of excitement pulsing through your veins. "Why didn't I think of this before?" Your fingers tightened around his, the connection sparking a newfound determination within you. Disregarding his perplexity, you continued with a rush of energy taking the both of you by storm.

"Maybe the solution isn't to reenact the tragic ending," you presented, your voice gaining strength with each word. "Perhaps it's about forging a new path, creating a different outcome."

You allowed your words to linger shortly, seeking for his gaze, which still seemed hesitant. "Don’t you see, Beomgyu?" you persisted. "The story is telling us to rewrite Romeo and Juliet's fate, just like Mr. Kim's dumb assignment!" There was a hint of laughter in your tone, a flicker of amusement amidst the seriousness of the moment, as the realization slowly dawned on both of you. Beomgyu’s lips gradually fell apart at the revelation, every doubt suddenly falling back into place.

“Let’s split up for now, I’ll talk to Mercutio,” Beomgyu suggested to which you nodded fervently, already knowing what to do. “I’ll see you here at dawn.” You completed his sentence. And just like that, he was out of your field of view, the last image of him being his silhouette skillfully jumping over the balcony.

It was a silent agreement to find out more about the conflict between the two families, each to their own. Only then, could you find a true solution?

Sure, you knew that the Capulet and Montague families had an ancient feud that pulled the youths apart from each other. But…what exactly had happened?

Without wasting another second, you spun on the balls of your feet and hurried out of your room, for the first time in days, facing the hustle of the busy castle. “Mia,” You mumbled to yourself, “I need to find Mia…” The heels of your sandals clicked against the marble steps as you rushed your way through the endless corridors. Rounding a corner, you almost collided with a servant carrying a tray of food.

“I apologize, M’lady.” The servant quickly bowed their head low before scurrying away. You stood still for a moment, taken aback but quickly blinked away the slight shock and resumed your search. Your mind raced with thoughts of finding your best friend.

Weaving through the maze-like castle, you almost feared losing your way. You felt like you’d rounded the same corner at least ten times. But perhaps your determination did not deem itself unfruitful when you caught a glimpse of her bustling about in the servant’s quarters. Relief washed over you and you picked up your pace further, calling for her. “Mia- Nurse!”

The young lady whipped around with startle in her movements. Her eyes were wide with shock but upon seeing you, a familiar warmth shaped itself into her soft smile.

“Lady Juliet!” She exclaimed, “What brings you here?”

Coming to a halt in front of her, you breathlessly said; “I need to talk to you,” ignoring the confusion that swarmed her eyes at your unusual language, the rush in your veins was making you forget all about how Juliet was supposed to act. Nonetheless, the girl nodded understandingly and gave you her attention.

“Do speak your worries, m’lady. I am at your service.” You sighed with relief and took her hand, walking further inside her quarter, and closing the door behind you.

“Nurse…Why can’t I and Romeo be together?” You initiated, struggling to find the right words. The young woman watched you with perplexed eyes. “You know full well the reasons, m’lady.” Mia’s knowing gaze weighed upon you, you noted how her voice was soft and solemn as she spoke, as though not to hurt your fragile feelings.

You shook your head stubbornly. “No! I really do not!” As your voice raised ever so slightly, you noticed the slight panic contorting her features and you immediately calmed down.

“I just…I love him so much,” You felt breathless, as the words slipped past your lips, a strange rush of vulnerability crashed upon you. Mia’s eyes locked with yours but you found yourself relentlessly avoiding her gaze. The feelings falling from your lips were Juliet’s and hers alone. But then why did it feel like your heart had been laid bare for the whole world to see?

You gulped, “I understand the feud of our families, but I need to know what happened!” You urged, hoping that you would be able to find answers. “What could possibly have been the cause of such a lifelong resentment? Why do I have to pay the price of my love because of an ancient conflict that…” the words spilled past your quivering lips, it was almost like you had no control over what left your mouth. These overwhelming emotions were too big for your heart to bear. “That doesn’t involve me!?” You implored.

Mia’s gaze softened, shoulders sinking slightly as she gently took your cold hands into her warm ones. Her touch was so tangible that you almost forgot that all of this wasn’t anything other than a dream.

“Oh sweet Y/n, but it does involve you.” Your throat suddenly felt extremely, a shiver running down your spine. “W-what?” Your voice trembled when you met her unfazed eyes. Had she just called you by your name?

“The day that you have mourned for so long, it was you who left him,” Mia explained calmly, though the words became nothing but a swirling mess in your head. “What are you talking about?” You inquired, pulling your hands out of her grasp. Uneasiness settled within you at the direction that the conversation was taking.

“You and Beomgyu are now strangers because you turned your back on him, that day.” Her sentence pierced through your throbbing heart, a sense of injustice had you shaking your head furiously.

“How…How can you say that I left him when he was the one who denied knowing me in front of others?!” You cried out, throwing your hands in the air. “He was the one who ended our friendship at that very moment.”

You recalled the scene vividly. The pain of that day was ingrained so deeply within your memory, that sometimes the cuts it left still felt fresh. It had been just another exhausting day of classes but nonetheless, you had been eager to meet up with your best friend at your usual spot. But as you had rounded the corner your anticipation had quickly morphed into shock. With your breath caught in your throat, you witnessed Beomgyu surrounded by people unknown to you. Their expressions taunting and relentless as they held up a photograph in front of Beomgyu’s face. His patience was wearing thin and a scowl was etched permanently onto his face. Something about the scene unsettled you deeply but you had been rooted onto your spot, unable to move.

“Shut up,” Beomgyu had hissed, attempting to rip the photo from their grasp, only igniting laughter from the others when they easily pulled it higher up.

“Why so serious? Don’t you love her anyway? But her mommy hates you, how sad!” The taller male waved the photograph teasingly and laughed in his face.

“I don’t fucking love her!” His voice echoed bitterly in the lonely corridor. You still remembered the way his voice reverberated in your ears, each word a cruel stab to your heart. “We’re merely acquaintances so cut this crap and leave me alone.” Beomgyu’s voice was cold and merciless. You had felt a strong sense of betrayal wash over you, wondering why he was denying your friendship so vehemently. You were hurt and confused, the emotions ever so overwhelming and you struggled to comprehend what had happened.

You recalled his hands curled into tight fists, his chest heaving visibly up and down after he’d gotten them to leave. And then, the moment that would haunt you for years to come happened. He had turned to you, eyes filled with a raw emotion you couldn't decipher. Something had flickered in his gaze, perhaps regret, almost as if he’d woken up from a trance. But the wall that his words had put between you was insurmountable.

Although your name had come tumbling from his lips, begging you to let him explain, your back had already been turned, heart had already been broken into irreparable pieces.

You looked at Mia, your desperate eyes silently begging her to understand the turmoil inside of you. “I know it wasn’t easy being my friend, especially with my mother making it clear that she didn’t like him. I don’t know why she was so against him, but I never stopped defending him!” You paused to take a breath. “Not for one moment. I put him over my parents' rules and valued his friendship over my parents’ trust. I always sneaked out to see him although I was grounded for that very same reason…” Your words stumbled upon each other in your haste to defend yourself, “So how could you say that I was the one who left him?”

“Y/n,” Mia coaxed gently, eyes fluttering shut was a deep breath. “It mustn’t have been easy on your heart.” She affirmed, bowing her head slightly. “But believe my words, there is more to this tale than you are aware of.” She paused, letting you feel the gravity of her words although you struggled to make sense of it all.

“What do you mean?” Confusion clouded your thoughts, “What do I not know of? Did Beomgyu hide something from me?” Your mind spiraled, but your friend’s sudden grip on your shoulders brought your focus back on her. “Do not fret!” She scolded, her usually sweet eyes now stern as they pierced through yours. “This story goes beyond the two of thy…Your mother and Beomgyu’s father share a history.” Mia carefully unfolded the truth to you. Your arms fell limp to your sides, eyes wide open as the new information sank in.

“It is so. They used to court each other in their youthful days.” She confirmed your suspicions. “However, they belonged to different realities. Their love was forbidden much like the tale of Romeo and Juliet. Your mother had always been true to her traditions. Attempts to sort the disagreement between her and her family hadn’t given any fruits, they wouldn’t approve of a relationship with the young Mr. Choi.”

Your head was spinning.

Mia’s words painted a picture of a past you never knew, shedding light on the hidden truths that had shaped your relationship with Beomgyu since the very beginning. The two of you had only been children when you’d first met. Your cries resounded in the rain storm, a knee scraped open because of your clumsy feet. Beomgyu, one of the many by-passers had heard your wailing from far.

Not the sweet little bandaid he’d clumsily applied to your injury, not even the umbrella he’d handed you so that you would stop crying could have thawed your mother’s icy resolve. He had walked you home, only to be sent away coldly by your mother. Even so, your friendship continued flowering on the familiar grounds of your school. A part of you had always seen Beomgyu like the knight that helped the princess escape her tower of isolation. He was the sweet breeze under your shirt on a hot summer day. He was the sense of liberation and affection that shrouded you like a warm blanket when in his presence. You’d discovered parts of yourself whilst by his side, that would have forever remained uncovered if you’d listened to your parents' warnings.

“But-” Your voice faltered with disbelief, “Why would my mother put me through her same pain?” A part of you wanted to sympathize with your mother, but the longer you dwelled on it the more you felt yourself lose your mind. The endless fights, the uncountable times they’d punished you for refusing to cut ties with the friend that meant so much to you.

“You see,” Mia hummed, “That is where your mother’s resentment brews, although she points to Beomgyu’s bad influence on you, the truth is another. Beomgyu is a painful reminder of her past. His familiar face reminds her of the one man she truly loved and lost.” Her voice tinged with empathy, “She struggles to cope with her broken heart.” Every utterance was a tiny piece of the vast puzzle that was your life. Each little fragment finding its place but revealing only a frustratingly small detail. Mia's insight kept sinking in but you felt dizzy from the unstoppable rush of thoughts and questions. Your chest brimming with mixed emotions of anger, sadness, and empathy. Running a hand through your hair, you let out the heavy breath that you had been holding in this whole time.

Your mother’s unwavering disapproval, Beomgyu’s struggle to defend himself, and the rift that had formed between you and your childhood friend. Everything was still a mess in your head, but there was only one thing clear that you just couldn’t shake off.

Tears blurred your view as the strong sense of clarity washed over you, sending you over the edge.

Shaking eyes searching for Mia’s, nails digging into your palms. “What have I done?” You whispered brokenly, a hand coming to rest on your face as if to stop the intense swirling of your surroundings.

“I- he surely hates me for it, doesn’t he?” You told yourself, “There is no way I can restore our friendship.” no matter how much you tried to find a way, the damage you had done seemed unfathomable.

Mia’s eyes were solemn when she regarded you, her next phrase with a weight that you couldn’t quite comprehend. “I fear not,” She proved. An ancient sorrow tip toeing in her murmur. Although you had been the one to make the statement, having her confirm it left an unbearable pain tightening your chest.

“For the bonds of your hearts have transcended the mere boundaries of a friendship,” Mia whispered, your forehead creased into a frown.

"What do you mean?" you pleaded, searching her eyes for clarity, but the young woman merely shook her head. “You haven’t realized it yet, have you?”

“Realized what?”

“The words you spoke upon finding me, were no one’s but your own, dear, reflect on that.” Not Juliet’s, but yours. The additions lingered on Mia’s tongue, although she chose not to pronounce them. Your shaken expression weighted her heart.

“I don’t understand.” You let your head fall, the curtain of your hair covering the tears that were now blurring your view.

Your friend placed a tender caress on your cheek, crouching slightly so that you would meet her gaze. “Hey,” She soothed, “Do not despair, dear, there is still time.” her eyebrows raised encouragingly as her hold on your cheeks turned into a light pinch. your cheek, making you wince. “Now go forth, do not waste any more of thy precious time!” Mia exclaimed and stepped behind you, her hands on your back, guiding you onward with a gentle push, sending you off.

Stumbling forward, you couldn’t help but cast one last look back for guidance, only to have her fretting you away with not-so-subtle gestures.

The walk back to your chamber was like stepping into the unknown blindfolded. Your gaze was distant while allowing your feet to guide you back to familiar surroundings. Time was nothing but a blur, you wondered how much time you had spent in Mia’s quarter. The burning sun had bid its farewell to the sky a long time ago. Leaving you solely the moonlight to illuminate your solitary path through the now tranquil castle. The echoes from the daytime’s hustling activity were now replaced by a peaceful quietude. Even the servants had retired for the night.

A gentle timber called your name, and you feared your heart had stopped when you hastily looked up. Your pupils dilated at the view of Beomgyu’s figure walking towards you. A worried expression rested upon his features.

“What took you so long?” He spoke in hushed tones not to wake anyone up, “I was waiting for you but you never came. I thought something happened to you.”

His concern ignited a tender warmth within you, a flood of emotions brimming in your heart as it picked up its pace in your chest. Racing far ahead of you, drumming against your ribs begging to be set free from its hostage.

"I... I lost track of time," you managed to say through your trembling lips. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

His expression of worry melted away with the step he took, gently dismissing your apology with a shake of his head. "I'm just relieved you're okay," he confessed, watching you from underneath his lashes. The silver glow of the moon cast a delicate shade down his cheek, while you marveled at the shimmering specks of amber swirling in his eyes.

A moment of silence followed, unspoken words weighing down on your chest.

Beomgyu’s words lingered in the air like a whispered promise, perhaps one made a long time ago. A glimmer of two youths intertwining their pinkies in a silent vow, sealing the bond with a kiss of their thumbs flickered before your eyes. But just like a sweet dream slipping away at the crack of dawn- it vanished before you could fully grasp it.

With your gaze falling to the ground, you struggled to move your voice past your lips. There was so much you wanted to say.

“Beomgyu I…” You began hesitantly, forcing yourself to meet his gentle ocean eyes despite the dry lump forming in your throat. He kept quiet, silently letting you take your time to express yourself. The knowing look painted on his features told you that he’d understand no matter how much you struggled to explain yourself.

“I am so sorry-” Your voice wavered as a tear traced its way down your cheek. “It’s all my fault.” remorse, a sad melody that had etched itself into your words as tears continued spilling from your eyes, salty and melting into your lips as you continued.

“I don’t understand why– how I could have walked away like I did, without letting you explain yourself, that day.” Your voice a mere whisper, knuckles whitening under the pressure of your trembling fist. “I should have let you tell me the truth but I let my hurt and anger cloud me…” A trembling shiver left your mouth. “Why did I do that?”

“I threw away our friendship, I threw away the most important thing I had, I messed up so bad, I-” Before you could continue, Beomgyu’s hand had reached out. Soft fingertips caressing your skin, catching your precious tears.

“I’m sorry too,” he said softly, his fingers absentmindedly curling around a few strands of your hair. "I should have tried to reach out to you again after that. But I too, let my pride and stubbornness get in the way." his touch was gentle as he slowly guided the stray hairs in his hold behind your ear.

“Do you…” Your hesitation lingered in the air as the question you were afraid to ask danced on your tongue. The fear in your chest fogged your mind. Although this whole journey could have served as an answer, your heart couldn’t find its peace unless he pronounced the words himself.

“Do you hate me for what I did?”

Beomgyu found himself melting before you, fingers slowly coming to cradle your jaw. His eyes searched yours for a moment before speaking, but your gaze shied away from his. He couldn’t help but admire the way your tears were like small crystals twinkling upon your lashes.

"Hate you?" His voice brimmed with disbelief. "No, Y/n, never." he tilted your head ever so slightly so that you could meet his gaze, so that you wouldn’t need to doubt him again. He extended a thumb, brushing away another tear that threatened to fall. "Despite what I've told myself over and over again, for years,” A solemn smile curled his lips.

“I don’t think I ever convinced myself when I tried to believe I hated you.” Beomgyu took a small step closer, lacing one arm around your shoulders. It was like you forgot how to breathe when he guided you into his chest, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. Your hands rested upon his chest out of surprise, feeling his thumping heart against your palms and almost confusing his quick heartbeat with your own.

There was something different about the way his arms tightened around you, you sensed fear in his embrace, as if you were to disappear at any moment. As if he was afraid to wake up in the middle of this moment. The sensation of his long hair tickling your skin when he nuzzled his head into your shoulder, the familiar scent of his cologne, and the warmth of his body engulfing you. His regretful murmur when he uttered the sole words that you needed to heal your heart.

“No one could make me hate you.”

You wished for nothing else than for this to be real.

A sob escaped your lips and you threw your arms around his neck. Beomgyu’s gentle fingertips traced a sweet path down your back, hands finding your waist. Eyes fluttering close and all you could think about was how it felt like his arms were made to embrace you.

You had finally placed the last puzzle piece into its spot, you had found the missing pages of your book.

You had fallen back into place.

“I missed you so much,” you whispered, ignoring the way your words muffled against his chest. Despite feeling as close as ever, Beomgyu’s embrace tightened even more, “I missed you too,” his eyes fell shut to the comfort of your hold.

Nuzzling your face deeper into his chest, the cold air of the castle slowly dissipated, replaced by a warmth that felt oddly familiar against your eyelids– a sensation akin to the gentle embrace of sunlight. Inhaling deeply, you noted the woody and papery scent that danced its way into your senses, wrinkling your nose in response.

You jerked away from Beomgyu with a sharp gasp, startling both him and yourself. The moonlight that had been adorning his soft features was long gone. Hence the beautiful corridor you’d been standing in was by now only a mirage of your dream as you noticed the book-filled shelves surrounding you in the remote corner of the library, illuminated by the soft glow of late sunlight filtering through dusty windows.

Beomgyu’s expression brimmed with confusion as his eyes darted around, searching for you after realizing that you were back in the university’s library. Shocked, the boy felt his arms go limp, and a loud noise reverberated against the ground. Your attention immediately bolted to the book that had slipped out of Beomgyu’s grasp, landing open on the pavement. The illustration of two ancient lovers dancing in the crowd glittered in the sun.

You wasted no time picking the book up, the adrenaline rush had your fingers trembling as you flipped over a few pages, mouth falling agape at the sight of the star-crossed lovers. Their once blank faces were now vivid with your very own features adorning them.

“Oh my God-” You breathed incredulously, flipping page after page. Beomgyu could only stand there, watching you as he tried to reason with what he had just experienced. His trance was short-lived, interrupted by you suddenly slamming the book shut. The beetroot color that had crept upon your cheeks piqued his interest.

“What did you see?” Beomgyu inquired with his brow raised inquisitively. But your response came too quickly for his liking.

“NOTHING!” You pressed a bit too defensively, earning a few distant hushes from other visitors. His suspicions were raised upon your secretive behavior “Let me see-” he tried to grab the book but you swung your arm out of his reach. He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, a displeased pout sporting his lips. You were to be damned for letting your guard down at that moment because the next thing you knew Beomgyu had snatched the book from you. You yelped helplessly and tried to get it back but the long-haired boy was far taller than you.

The sensation of cold sweat coated your body at the thought of Beomgyu finding the pages revealing a portrayal of you and he locked in a tender kiss. A new-found heat rose to your cheeks as your heart went berserk. But the view of him delicately opening the ancient novel to inspect what had made you react in such a way awoke a sense of panic that had you blurting out a sentence you had no idea how to stand for.

“No need to search, I can just show you myself.” The casual tone in your voice baffled you to no end, because your heart was in your throat, threatening to jump out.

Thankfully, the boy looked away from the book, not yet having found the pages you had been trying to conceal. You could spot the astonishment in his expression caused by the illustrations in the book, and you didn’t blame him, why were your faces painted on those of the lovers’?

Despite all, his eyes still showed you his interest. “And what exactly are you going to show me?” he raised a brow. Beomgyu’s casual cockiness only fueled a sudden boldness within you. "Let me see," his persistence rang in your ears and before you even knew what you were doing, you had grabbed the collar of his shirt. Pulling him close with a determination you hadn't known you possessed– shutting your eyes tightly, you crashed your lips on top of his. The boy stumbled forward, eyes wide at your sudden action, though his lips had acted on their own as they had responded to yours right away. His soft pillows eagerly nipped on yours for a mere moment before you parted from him, releasing his now wrinkled shirt from your hold.

“That’s what I saw in the book.” You averted your gaze down to your feet, pressing your lips into a thin line.

A shy pink dusted his cheeks, gaze fastened on you, he could not bring himself to look away. His chest rose with the ragged breaths puffing out of his swollen lips.

“You kiss by the book,” he gasped incredulously, a cheerful laugh bubbling in his throat. Your head whipped in his direction, tummy fluttering at the familiar words he’d used. You watched him throw his head back in delight as his body shook with laughter, finding yourself getting completely absorbed into the joy that sprouted from him, you couldn’t stop the chuckles that escaped your lips.

You couldn't help but admire his smile, the way it lit up his entire face, the way his pretty eyes crinkled into twinkling half-moons. It had been so long since you had seen that smile directed towards you, and it made you feel complete.

You had no idea what kind of magic had danced on Mr. Kim’s fingertips when he slid that assignment paper on your desk, with yours and Beomgyu’s names written next to each other in red ink. But it was almost like he’d taken the red threads of your fates and tied them back together after that the two of you had let it come undone.

Now Beomgyu knew, you knew– that dreams were like magic. They appeared, tickled, and sparked a twinkle in your hearts, only to disappear just as quickly as it had appeared.

You had lost each other for so long, but you had finally found each other again under the same dream, under the same stars that had brought the two youths together through a love that transcended every boundary.

Perhaps your fates had been written by the very same hands.

Perhaps you were them.

You took his hand in yours, feeling its warmth like the sunset glow, painting you in its vivid colors.

"I dreamt a dream today," Beomgyu murmured as he threaded his fingers through yours.

"And so did I." You met his gaze knowingly.

“Well, what was yours?” A sweet smile started to curl his lips.

“That dreamers speak their heart’s truth.”

a/n: ooh my god I finally did it! here it is and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as possible!! I had so much fun writing this and I hope it was just as fun reading! this is probably one of my most dramatic pieces and I had to stop myself while writing and question where all the drama was coming from but duh!! It's literally Romeo and Juliet hello??.

anyway!! I would appreciate your thoughts on it a lot <33 I'm really curious to know how this idea I've had brewing in my head for years came out and is perceived by all of you! do not be shy and pls share your thoughts with me <333

Important disclaimer!

I do not own the story or characters of Romeo and Juliet, full credit to Shakespeare who invented them.

I also used some of the dialogue from the actual script in modern English which I will be linking in this text!

so! if you made it all the way down here, I just want to thank you for sticking with me and for taking the time to read this piece! It means a lot to me. You're amazing<33

much love, p.

taglist: @wave2tyun @binluvsu @shutupheathersorryheatherr @20crowsinahoodie @woncheecks @ur-mother-realnotclickbait @20-cms @endeav0rsb1tch @todosmash @scatterbraincutie @zzhyuu @sweetstraberrybear @deabird @iluvkyo @lunathewritingcat @vivienne2000 @sunny4cast @lun4kazumii @be0mgyusbestie @yjdni @roseyposeylemonsquozey @beomgyuspeach @glossykai

#Beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu oneshot #tomorrow x together #beomgyu imagines #txt x reader #txt oneshots #txt imagines #yeonjun #soobin #hueningkai #taehyun #romeo & juliet

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months

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Hello! I am SO hyperfixated on the fact that the overblot form CAN be controlled??? That’s the case with Malleus isn’t it? And I guess on one hand I can see how Idia can control it too because of his “curse/blessing” (and sheer will and spite).

Maybe this is foreshadowing that maybe it’s possible for the other OB boys to do so as well???? I don’t know how it’ll work with them but I’m so excited. Overblot cards potential AAAH

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on this!

[Referencing this post!}

Yeah, I definitely think that OB Idia battle segment opens the floodgates for potential SSR Overblot Troublemaker(s) cards 💀 (RIP to the OB gang fans)

As a refresher for everyone (since it has been a while), alllllll the way back in book 1, Crowley and Cater describe “overblot” as thus: “[… being] overcome by negative energy and[…] losing control of [one’s] magic and emotions,” and “evil berserk mode”.

We’ve seen many examples of these traits in the main story campaign; oftentimes, the OB boy in question is impossible to reason with and has to be subdued via battle. However, it’s important to note that while the OBs may be primarily driven by their emotions, it is not purely rage but rather negative feelings in general. Yes, many OBs (Riddle, Leona, Azul, Vil, etc.) do attack others—but other OBs demonstrate moments of calm (ie when their demands are met). For example, Jamil is tame when he believes he has banished Kalim, secured hypnotized Scarabia mobs, and reigns over the dorm as its new leader. I do believe anger is still a large component of the behavior of one who has overblotted though; that rage most certainly clouds a person’s judgment and compels them to strike out at the slightest thing.

Now, about the idea of “controlling” OBs… I don’t that that can actually be done?? We have to remember that Malleus is a VERY powerful mage—and this alone could give him an “edge” that others don’t when it comes to being fully aware while in OB (though I believe both Malleus and Vil indicate early on they notice their blot building). As Idia’s dad states, Malleus is drawing his magic from nature itself and therefore has a limitless supply it. Secondly, I wouldn’t call Malleus’s OB “controlling” it to begin with. It’s clear that he’s still running high on emotions and is unwilling to hear others out or have them interfere with his plans. These are still traits associated with OB; it’s not as though Malleus is “overriding” the unreasonable thoughts, he is still ruled by them and acts on them. I think what you (maybe?) mean is that Malleus has a much more calculating approach and more precise control over how he wields his power rather than indiscriminately smashing stuff in his path. This, again, could do with his insane power level compared to his peers. Unlike most other OBs, his goal (at least in his own framing) before he overblotted to begin with wasn’t to “take away”, but rather to “gift” happy endings to everyone. This sets him apart just based on interests alone, and that’s perhaps why he acts the most different in the lot.

Now let’s consider the circumstances under which Idia OBs a second time: it’s in a dream, meaning it’s questionable whether or not this would transfer over to real life. Because it’s Idia’s dream, he has more autonomy in it, particularly because he is now “awake”/conscious of the fact that it is a dream. Secondly, Idia bears the Shroud family’s curse/blessing, which allows him to “power up” the more blot is present, as it serves as fuel for his magic. This alone makes him a “special case” which could explain the unusual amount of control he exerts over his OB form. (Again though, I’d wager it’s mostly the dream environment.)

I do see maybe the other OB boys doing a similar “oh, lemme OB to help you guys fight” in a dream situation where there are fewer limits on what they can do, but not in a real world setting. It would put them all at risk anyway, as they lack Idia’s curse/blessing or Malleus’s fae powers. Is that worth the risk, knowing they could all die or potentially turn on their classmates?

I just don’t see OB becoming a “tool” or a magical girl transformation the characters could pull out for combat purposes in the story (though this is possible for like the gameplay outside of the story). I highly doubt OB is like something you could train yourself to control; it’s less like bulking up at the gym and more like pushing yourself to keep exercising while you’re high on adrenaline… Sooner or later, you’d burn out and injure yourself in that overexertion.

If there ever are OB cards, I can easily see them as being the type that don’t come with vignettes because… what reasonable story could you conjure up to explain the OBing again? If there are vignettes, then they most likely won’t fit into the main story canon. You’d have to frame the OB cards as “within the moment” of whatever book they OB’d in, and perhaps go more in-depth about the trauma or something along those lines.

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thebestofoneshots · 2 months

Text

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 8.2 K Warnings: None Prompt: It's a snow day! This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

THIS CHAPTER CAN ALSO BE READ AS A ONESHOT

Chapter 35: Chill of Desire

Tuesday, December, 14th, 1976

“It’s snowing!” you heard Mary squeal, her excited tone waking you up instantly, and causing you to smile as you looked through the window. Mary had propped the window open and extended her hand as she stared outside.

It wasn’t only snowing then, in fact, it had been snowing all night, all the towers, the fields and the valley were covered by a thick layer of snow. The trees stood tall, their branches delicately coated, creating a magical-looking scene, more magical than Hogwarts already was, anyway.

You had the view of the forest from your window, and you could see the Whomping Willow shaking off the layers of snow that had fallen over him at night, which made you smile, the memory of the devious night having been replaced by so many cuddles with the boys that the looking at the Willow was not as stressful as it had been at some point, you didn’t think of how Remus had gotten hurt by it, but rather you thought of how you had kissed Sirius under it. And how you might be going to meet Moony later that month, as Vixen this time around.

The courtyards and pathways were like winding paths through a snowy maze, and the usually bustling grounds were hushed under the soft blanket of snow, you could see a few students outside enjoying the white fields –especially the younger ones– you still had hours before you had to get to class, you realised when you eyed the small cuckoo clock your mom had given you at the beginning of the year. It wasn’t even time for you to go on your morning flight yet, but you thought perhaps it would be a good idea to skip flying in favour of playing in the snow, even if it was just for a day, you were sure you’d be able to convince James if you managed to recruit Remus and Sirius first.

The world outside seemed to have taken a pause, wrapped in the serene beauty of winter, with barely a few students playing in the snow and trying to get from one spot of the castle to the other without making much noise. Of course, that wouldn’t last long, not as long as you could help it. You stood up and changed into something warm, putting on Remus’ sweater. You had taken the habit of wearing a lot more often since you wanted to test a theory that had cemented itself in your brain since the day of the Slytherin sweater incident.

Once you were ready you turned to the girls “Come outside in like…” You pondered for a second, 5 minutes to wake up Sirius, another 5 for the two of you to convince Remus to join your shenanigans. Like 10 minutes to convince Prongs and about 4 for them all to get ready. Peter would be coming the minute you convinced Potter, so you didn’t worry much about that, “30 minutes,” you said, adding a few minutes to spare “It’ll be fun.”

“How fun?” Lily asked, a look of worry on her face that made you laugh.

“It’s a snow day Lils, it’ll be brilliant, I promise!” you said with a smile plastered on your face as you put on a pair of boots and disappeared from their sight. Returning just a second later to take the invisibility cloak you had borrowed from James the previous night. You had it on a ball, and neither of the girls asked about it since they had assumed it was just a blanket you borrowed from Sirius or something. The minute you stepped out, you turned over a corner and put it on, walking straight towards the boy’s dormitories.

Once outside their door you took a deep breath and leaned your ear close to the door, just wanting to make sure they were all still asleep. Which, as you predicted, they had been. You smiled and used your wand to open their door with a tweak on the classic “alohomora” that Remus has taught you.

They had charmed their door, obviously, they had, but Remus –who often left his keys since he rushed in the mornings– had found a way around their own charm and taught it to you since you had been sneaking in to cuddle him and Padfoot, as Vixen of course. It hadn’t been every day, but you had all agreed that you’d have to do it a lot more often closer to the moon, to make sure the smell of the pack was well rubbed.

You thought you already smelled like them enough, but neither of them seemed convinced. Or rather, neither of them wanted to stop cuddling each other, and you didn’t either. Padfoot was fluffy and Remus was always warm, which was especially nice on colder nights, the kind that were already much more common because of the time of the year you were in. And, sometimes, rather often, Sirius would turn back into himself and cuddle both you and Remus, only to turn back into Pads in the morning. If either Pete or James knew, they didn’t say a thing. Remus had always been asleep, or at least pretended, so neither you nor Sirius noticed, and you, who would lay half a top of Remus half a top of Sirius who had now learned exactly how to pet you, weren’t about to complain either.

Once inside you looked at the boys and opened one of the windows with a swish of your wand, bringing a small blizzard inside the room and leaning in over Sirius’ bed, letting the snow fall slowly over his delicate features. He had his mouth slightly parted, and his hair sprawled all around him. He was the loveliest thing to look at; he looked like a princess, like Snow White, you thought, especially when a small snowflake got stuck on his thick black lashes. No wonder Prince Charming wanted to kiss the girl awake. You too felt tempted to kiss him.

“Sirius,” you whispered.

He groaned, and you whispered his name again, giving in and giving him the kiss you wanted, a quick peck over one of his eyes, feeling how the snowflake over his lash melted away with the warmth of your mouth. He opened his eyes and looked at you, and then around, there was snow all over, coating you, himself and his bed as you leaned over him with a sneaky little smile on your face. The smile that oh so clearly stated, you were up to something.

You were looking at him in such a way that he forced himself to clear his throat, trying to think of anything other than his morning discomfort. On days like this, he would get a shower and release himself of those thoughts, and something else. But clearly, that wasn’t an option at that particular moment, let alone with you leaning on top of him like that. You licked your lips and he almost cursed.

“Sirius,” you said again “It’s snowing!”

“I can tell Starshine,” he said as he picked a small snowflake that had gotten stuck in your hair, watching it dissolve in his fingers before he turned back to you. Well done, Sirius, she hasn’t noticed, he applauded for himself.

You smiled and leaned in closer to him, his breath hitched in his throat, you had no fucking idea what you were doing to him. You leaned enough to whisper in his ear. “Help me convince Prongs to play in the snow instead of practice.”

He almost frowned, turning to get a better look at you. “You’ve never had a snow day?”

“I’ve had…” you said, “but never with you.”

He sighed at your words but turned to you with a warm smile. “Fine, let’s go,” He said as he sat on the bed, still thinking of ways to get rid of his problem, his covers falling discreetly over it. If only there was a spell for that.

“No, first we must convince Remus.”

“Remus, why?”

“If Remus is in, there’s no way Prongs will say no, even if we’re skipping practice.”

Sirius seemed to be processing what you said but nodded. “Go ahead, I’ll go change,” he said, motioning for you to move as he leaned over to find his shirt “bet he’ll like it if you wake him up with snow too,” he said with a devious smile and you rolled your eyes, giving him a soft peck in the mouth before walking over to Remus, bringing the small blizzard along with you.

Had it been a few weeks ago, you might have been hesitant to do exactly what you were about to do, but you had climbed onto Remus’ bed so often in the past few days, either for cuddling as Vixen or just for chilling, that it was almost more natural than it was to climb onto your own. It was like climbing onto Sirius’ bed even, although, lately the two of you spend a lot more time on Remus’ bed than his own, because of the scent thing.

You leaned over and watched the small snowflakes fall over Remus’ face, he looked just as handsome as Sirius had. Or perhaps, the way to describe Sirius correctly would be ethereal, Remus was handsome.

“Hey Rem,” you said softly, placing his hand over his shoulder. This time around, you decided to be softer, and more careful, not forgetting that one time he had pinned you on his bed. He stirred, brows furrowed lightly and nose almost imperceptibly scrunched up.

“Sirius?” he asked, not opening his eyes, you smelled like Sirius, and you and him. Your scents had been so mixed at this point, he just assumed it was Sirius since it would make more sense for it to be him, especially to be bothering him so early in the morning, not that he minded, not as long as it was him.

“Try again,” you said with a smile.

Remus hummed content, “Little Witch.”

You eyed him cautiously, his eyes were still closed and you leaned a little closer, shaking his shoulder lightly. Then he all but grabbed you by the waist and pushed you to him, Remus was still way too asleep to process what he was doing, and you fell over his torso as he tightened his grip. When Sirius walked out of the bathroom he spotted the two of you and thought it was the most adorable thing he’d seen, even if you had a small frown as you tried to fight your way out of the werewolf’s grip. But Remus was way too fucking strong.

You huffed and turned to Sirius “Mind a little help?” you mouthed, he smirked in response. In seconds he turned into Padfoot and walked over to the two of you, leaning his head into yours for a second before jumping so his paws were on the bed and then, he leaned over and started licking Remus’ face.

You barely managed to see Remus scrunch his face before he opened his eyes, looking rather startled. First, there was snow; second, Sirius had woken him by licking his fucking face; and third, you were laying horizontally across his torso, your head tilting slightly to the side with a rather amused expression, and he was holding you there.

“What the fuck?”

“You’re very grabby in the mornings,” Sirius said, now back in his human form and staring at Remus with his face laid over his crossed arms, which were leaning on the same spot Padfoot’s paws had been on, smile plastered on his lips.

Fucking hell he looks adorable, Remus thought.

And so did you, calmly lying there as you waited for him to loosen his grip. You didn’t mind waiting all that much either, Remus was comfortable. And then Sirius turned to you, placing one of his hands over your hair and letting it gently slide out, causing your head to turn towards the two of them in his action “Look at the poor thing, waiting there patiently for you to let her go Moony.”

You frowned, condescending. You were about to argue, but there was something about the way both boys looked at you that also made you want to shut up, as if you didn’t want to break whatever spell had been cast over the three. And it wasn’t the first time either. You blinked a couple of times. “Poor thing my ass,” you managed to say to Sirius, even if you let him play with your hair still.

Remus almost reached to do the same, his hand twitched, but you didn’t notice, you had closed your eyes as Sirius continued to play with your hair. Looking rather content in the position. A small spark of rage came to Remus and he tightened his grip around you, only for a second until he realised that he was way out of line and let you go. You didn’t move, just enjoyed Sirius’ hand for a few more seconds and Remus wished he could be the one to make you feel like that. Eventually, you took a deep breath and opened your eyes again, biting your lip as you looked at Remus “It’s snowing.”

He looked around and raised his eyebrows at you, his face clearly stating “no shit Sherlock”.

“Starshine here wants to go play out there in the snow with us,” Sirius said.

You were about to swat him for being so haughty with you, but you realised by the way the corner in his mouth lifted forward, he was just doing it to piss you off. You didn’t even realise the way Remus had gulped with how intensely you were glaring at Sirius.

“Or we could just stay and cuddle,” you said with a sneaky little smile, you knew Sirius was already eager to go out there and play with the snow. Two people could play his little game. But both boys liked the idea just as much as the prospect of going out in the snow with you.

“Let’s go,” Remus said as he patted you on the leg casually, a signal for you to get off him. If Sirius noticed his gesture, he didn’t seem to care much that he had done it, and you didn’t seem to notice either. It was almost as if the three of you had special concessions with each other that wouldn’t be allowed to many others. For example, Sirius would surely be pissed if you had been cuddling Tom, or even Peter, but with Remus, he didn’t seem to mind, heck he even encouraged it sometimes. Not that any of the three noticed these little things, but some people did.

“Get changed,” You told Rem with a bit of a smile, “We’ll go wake James.”

Remus nodded and both you and Sirius stood up. You walked over to James’ bed, and Sirius was about to jump over him to wake him up with a thud, but you stopped him, bringing in your small blizzard over his friend. Sirius smiled and took his wand out, making more snow come inside, and having relatively strong –and cold– winds blow over Prongs.

Neither of you was being half as gentle as you had been with Remus, was it because you knew Moony’s short temper or… something else? Perhaps it was part of those special concessions you allowed one another.

James started to shiver, pulling his covers higher up only for Sirius to slide them down again with a swish of your wand. Only then did you realise Prongs had been shirtless under the covers. You gasped silently at the sight, covering your mouth and staring. Prongs was fucking ripped, not as much as Remus but certainly ripped. You did not remember him being so fit back when you had been him.

Sirius nudged you with his shoulder when he noticed you were staring “Stop ogling him, will you?” he said slightly annoyed, he tried to hide it, and it slipped pass you.

You shook your head, still amazed. “Do you have a camera? Lily should know.”

Ah… so that’s why she’s staring at Prongs, fair enough, Sirius thought. He stared too, also thinking that while Prongs was ripped, Remus was much better. The snow became thicker around Prongs as Sirius’ thoughts focused on his other friend, the wind became even stronger, blowing on James’ hair, and making it even messier than usual. You were about to tell Sirius to hold back a little when James woke up, sitting on his bed fast and in panic.

“Wakey-wakey Rudolf!” You said with a smile.

Remus, who was just stepping out of the bedroom, looked at the two of you, wicked smiles on your faces while James stared, almost horrified, and he smiled. His two naughty little crushes. He wondered if you’d reach in to cuddle him and Sirius tonight, he wanted you to do it, he wanted you to do it really bad.

“What in the bIoody–“

You were about to speak, but Sirius stole your line “It’s snowing!”

“It’s freezing, that's what is!” he said as he pulled the covers, but you took them from him and dangled them in the air.

“No-uh Prongs, it’s time to get up!” He gave you a reproachful look, “Come on! It’s a snow day, we must play in the snow a little before it melts away… and class starts.”

The blizzard you and Sirius had caused was already dissipating, leaving the beds of the boys, and their floor, just a little slippery. But James peered to the window. “I highly doubt the snow’s gonna melt away anytime soon, luv… Besides, what about flying?”

“No flying today mate,” Remus intervened from behind the two, gently placing his hands on both yours and Sirius’ shoulders, “It’s snow day, and the first one of the season.”

“But…”

You sighed. “Lily will be there,” you added.

James’ eyes pretty much beamed after you said that and he ran up to his trunk, throwing a pillow towards Peter’s bed who woke up completely confused, “Why am I being attacked?” he asked with a frown.

“It’s a snow day Pete, we’re all coming out to play!” You said excitedly, Peter blinked as if wondering why the hell you were in his room before remembering you had been over more often than not lately, and because of his idea, that is.

“Morning Vix,” he said politely. “Fancy seeing you here,” he added as a joke.

“Oh.. piss off and change before you start teasing us all over again,” Sirius responded.

And he had been teasing you rather often. Since you started cuddling Remus together, he wouldn’t stop with the canine jokes. Either Puppy cuddles, lovable howlers, or whatever the hell came into his mind at that moment. He found it hilarious that the three of you were so close and that the three of you were a variant of the canine family. Something about being meant to be or whatever.

Peter just snickered and walked into the bathroom with clothes in hand, James didn’t even care, he straight up turned around and took off his pants right there in front of you, which had Sirius pull you to look at him and Remus cover your eyes with his hands. You laughed at their silly reactions. “Yo, Rem, when I said I would let you blindfold me, I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it.”

“Sly little fox, promising things without meaning them, are we?” He teased.

You laughed again, letting your head shake. Remus was eyeing Sirius then, and Sirius returned the stare, the two of them stayed like that, almost frozen as they looked at each other, your laughter almost fading into the background as Sirius turned his gaze towards Remus’ diverted smile. Remus has a pretty smile, pretty like Starshine’s, he thought.

“Is he done?” You asked, pulling on Moony’s hand to try and see a little bit better. That broke their trance and the two of them turned back to look at you, Sirius’ eyes flickering to your lips for a second, thinking he might actually be going insane.

“Yeah, I’m done,” James said as he leaned over and placed an arm around your shoulders. “Why are we hogging Vixen?”

“She came to wake us up with a fucking snowfall, now she must suffer,” Remus said as if it were the most natural thing. You nudged him lightly, about to say something when Peter stepped out, several layers of sweaters over him.

You smiled “You get cold easy, Wormy?”

“He’s got no tolerance,” James said, “and he always forgets the warming spell.”

“I could help you with it,” you offered.

“Thanks,” he said with a genuine smile, “but I’ve come prepared,” he added as he pulled a small piece of parchment from the pocket of his coat, showing it off in between his index and ring finger. “Annie gave it to me and charmed it so I wouldn’t lose it,” he explained, “It always reappears in my pockets now.”

“What? That’s brilliant!” you said reaching for the parchment and taking it from Peter’s hand for a second, looking at the symbols in the back. Remus approached you from behind to take a look.

“It’s complicated magic,” he said.

“It looks like an altered version of Homunculus,” Sirius said, he too had approached you and stared at the back of the small paper.

“Mixed with a clinging spell and a respawn one,” you added perplexed, “It’s incredible…” you said breathily, disbelief lacing your tone.

“Indeed.” Peter proudly raised his head. “Annie is insanely clever.”

You smiled and gave the paper back to him, before frowning and turning to the boys. “Do you guys think the Homunculus charm could help with the map?” you asked with a frown.

Remus bit his lip as he thought about it and then turned to you, “Vixen, that’s it! If we take the homunculus cham and somehow connect it to Hogwarts Magic–”

“And then bind it to the core of the map then… we could have absolutely every single student, teacher and visitor to the castle tagged at once!”

Remus nodded, “No more sneaking charms in their robes and backpacks! Fucking hell, we’ve cracked it!”

You and Remus were staring at each other with such sheer excitement over it, so hyped up that the boy almost reached out to kiss you, managing to stop, and clenched his fist by his side.

“Nerds,” Peter teased, dragging out the e slightly.

“But hot ones,” Sirius added inadvertently, giving a small shrug as he did.

Remus turned to Sirius with a frown, but you just placed your hand over one of his shoulders and nodded. “Indeed we are,” you said and sent a wink his way. You then spun on your heel back to the rest of the marauders “Shall we? The girls must be waiting for us by now,” you said, standing on your toes to look over Sirius’ shoulders, at the clock.

A few seconds later, and due to James’ idea, you were all running down the stairs and through the halls, in an attempt to get to the orchards as fast as possible.

“Do not run in the halls!” you heard a couple of scandalised paintings scream, and you just giggled as Sirius threw a silencing spell their way. The portraits looking at him enraged as you all kept running. By the time you reached the doors to the grounds, you were all panting, cheeks burning and grinning like fools.

You were bent down trying to catch your breath when you felt a snowball that came from the outside straight to your face. The boys gasped and started laughing as you dusted off the remnants of snow and looked up and tried to spot where it had come from. You continued to scan the field, only to find Lily Evans, smiling and waving at you with the most guilty expression you had ever seen in a person.

Now it was your turn to gasp. “That’s what you get for waking us all up early,” She shouted from a few metres in the distance.

“Mary woke us up!” You argued, “I only made arrangements.”

“No, no,” James said, a wicked smile on his face. “You did wake us up early,” he added as he pointed at all the marauders. “And with a fucking blizzard,” the boy was already walking towards the redhead, “I say it’s time for payback.”

You were about to say something when you received another snowball in the face, you looked at the boy with an expression of absolute betrayal as the leftover snow fell over your coat. “James Potter you little shit!” you said. He gave you a daring look in return. And you scoffed amused. Then you leaned down and made a small ball, packing the snow gently before throwing it his way. James easily veered out of the way, which you should have expected, since he was so used to dodging bludgers.

“That all you got? You’d make a terrible beater, luv!” he teased, taking the ball Lily gave him and launching it your way, this time around you managed to dodge, but the ball fell right on the side of Sirius’ head.

“Prongs, my hair!” he whined. Both you and Remus snickered, the taller boy was now the one passing you a snowball, allowing his hand to linger just for a second too long, as he did, not that anyone noticed, Sirius was too busy taking snow out of his hair and Peter had run off somewhere earlier. You smiled and brought the ball up to your face.

Using what you learned from charms to perform a small, wandless spell, over the projectile, you smiled wickedly and threw it his way again. James dodged to the side but the snowball turned with him and landed square on his face. You laughed as James looked at you with absolute shock, trying to remember if you had –at any point– taken your wand out. When he realised you hadn’t, he was half impressed, and just as he was pushing his glasses back on his face, he received another ball on the side of his head, his hair getting filled with snow as he gasped.

Sirius –who had thrown the ball– was waving at him with a smile. Until seconds later he too received a snowball on his face, a laugh from Marlene as she nudged Mary echoed in the distance.

Remus was about to pass you another snowball when he too got hit, square on his chest –the lucky bastard– by none other than Beth Doxon. She smiled, her bright red hair being covered by a warm Gryffindor cap. “Come on Professor Lupin! Stop passing balls and start throwing them!” she taunted, Remus took the ball in his hands and threw it her way.

“Kind of fits you,” you said with a smile as you leaned down for another ball and moved it to your mouth to charm it again, “Professor Lupin, it’s got a ring to it.”

“I much prefer the sound of Professor Moony,” Sirius teased from behind, “encapsulates his personality better.”

“Sod off, Pads!” Remus said, also crouching down to get more snowballs, when he stood up, and another ball came your way, you quickly moved behind him. He turned to you in disbelief. “What am I? Your human shield?” he asked, just as a snowball fell on the side of his face.

“And an effective one, isn’t he Kit?”

“Very,” you responded with a light giggle. “It’s about his broad shoulders,” you said as you placed both hands on them, Remus tensed, looking at Sirius, thinking he might be angry, or jealous, or something. But neither of those things happened, instead, he joined your praising.

“And he’s tall too,” Sirius added, walking right behind you, and placing his hands over your shoulders, really close to your neck, in fact, close enough so his cold fingers crashed against your warm skin, which caused you to hiss and step away from him, crashing onto Remus.

“Shit Sirius!” You complained as you attempted to tighten the scarf around your neck “You’re cold as fuck.”

“But you warm my heart baby,” he teased, an overly gooey tone in his voice as he extended his hands towards you again, you knew exactly what he was about to do and you scurried out of his grasp and ran towards the snow, even if you got a few snowballs thrown your way as you tried to cross the field. You found a statue and with a quick confringo, melted the snow at the top to make a dent and take cover.

You quickly made a ball from the snow at your side and threw it on Sirius’ hair, leaning your head just enough time for him to notice it had been you. He eyed you, diverted and then you felt a snowball hit the back of your head, you turned around just enough to find Remus with another snowball in his hand.

“Scoot over, will you?” He said as he leaned down, as if ready to enter your improvised trench.

“No, you threw a snowball in my head,” you responded, feigning annoyance.

Remus chuckled and placed one of his legs inside your trench either way, “And you used me as your shield, we’re even.”

You shook your head in amusement but scooted over either way. Remus swished his wand and suddenly a pile of snowballs appeared behind you. You smiled and took your own wand out, whispering the same locating spell over all of them. Remus raised his eyebrow at you as if he was impressed, and you shot him a wink as you took a ball and leaned over to throw it towards Lily, meanwhile, Remus was throwing some Beth’s way.

“You’ve abandoned me for a sexy werewolf I see,” Sirius whispered in your ear, he had apparated just behind the two of you. He had been practising since your last class when Professor Dumbledore allowed you all to try doing it for the first time by yourselves, and he was insufferably good at it.

“The werewolf doesn’t want to bury his freezing cold hands on my neck,” you said –if only you knew where he wanted to bury them– without even turning to look at your boyfriend, if you had, you’d probably go soft at the sight of his eyes. He often got what he wanted from you with just a look, and he fucking knew it all too well. Not that you didn’t have the same effect on him, hence, you two were absolutely chaotic together.

Your small trench was barely enough for the three of you to fit in together, and it’s not that either of you was a stranger to touching each other, but Remus was feeling the heat rise up to his cheeks as your shoulders brushed against his, but much more worse when his back brushed against Sirius’ smaller chest. It was like the Halloween party all over again, but this time Remus didn’t want to run away.

Well, perhaps a part of him did, but the rest of him, the part that had thoroughly enjoyed cuddling Vixen and Padfoot, wanted to do the exact same to you and Sirius. He wanted the two of you to be his, to slather you with his scent so much that the entire world knew who you belonged to.

Of course, that was ridiculous, Remus knew, but he was hungry, Moony was hungry, the problem is he didn’t want food, he wanted his two best friends.

A nudge in his stomach pulled him out of his thoughts. “Mind teaching me how to make so many balls at once Professor Lupin?”

“It’s Professor Moony,” Sirius insisted, he had to duck as a ball flew towards his head in that instant.

You rolled your eyes “Rem?”

He was still a little shaken by the thought, almost hazy with how thrilled being so close to the two of you made him feel. “Yeah sure, just… whisper pila nix,” he said as he showed you what he did. “It’s a simple swish and curl.”

You did as told and in seconds there was another pile of snowballs ready for you to use. Sirius looked at Remus surprised. “You’re a great teacher mate,” he said, “should try helping her with transfiguration.”

You groaned at that “You know I’m a lost cause,” you said as you ducked, the small ball falling straight on Sirius’ face. He tugged your hair lightly “Oi, what was that for?” you complained, turning to look up at him.

“So you warn me next time.”

You looked at him amused, and grabbed some snow from the side of your trench, “Hey Puppy, there’s a snowball coming your way,” he looked around, as if trying to find the offender, only to receive one right from where you were crouching.

He turned to look back at you shocked and smiled as he shook his head, “Oh you little Minx!” he said as he bit his lip, “I was letting you go scot-free earlier.”

“Not my fault you didn’t see the ball,” you said, unconsciously etching closer to Remus.

“Aww darling…” Sirius said as he crouched next to you, and pulled you into a hug.

“Sirius, what– what are you, fuck…” you said springing up from the spot you were on, his hand –his freezing cold hand– that he had slipped under both your shirt and sweater had landed on your bare back. You stood behind Remus again, using him to shield yourself from Sirius. “Treason!” you said dramatically.

“You don’t want another hug from your boyfriend?” he asked with a playful pout.

You shook your head, still feeling the cold of his hand. If the snow fight was still going, neither of you was paying too much attention to it. Let alone Remus, who was really struggling not to let the feeling of you pressed against his back get the best of him. Only made worse by the way Sirius’ wrapped his arms around him and pressed himself to the boy as he tried to reach you either way.

Do they not fucking know about personal space?, he thought. But of course, you didn’t, not when the two of you had been cuddling him every other night. Needless to say, it was different for him, he was just cuddling two fluffy animals when he fell asleep –except in those rare occasions Sirius would turn back– meanwhile, both you and Sirius were just cuddling good old Remus. This wasn’t any closer to him than you’d been already.

Remus didn’t speak, he was holding his breath. Sirius kept fucking pressing against him and you kept squirming behind his back. The golden specks of his eyes were so golden they looked like a different colour altogether, more like Moony’s than his own. The chocolaty brown shifting into dangerous and shimmering aureate.

“Moony! Moony help!” you called out in between laughs.

“Don’t you dare, Moons!” Sirius warned.

Sirius pressed harder as you tried to squirm away and it was enough for him to feel bIood run south. He had to stop this before either of you noticed what was happening to him, so he turned around and grabbed both of your shoulders, digging his hands in between your necks and the back of your heads, enough force to get your attention, but not enough to hurt either of the two.

Sirius seemed to be shocked at how much warmer Remus’ hands were in comparison to his, to yours. You were not, you knew Remus tended to run on the warmer side. Hence, cuddling him on cold nights was so useful. “Enough,” he said, flashing his golden eyes at the two of you, the colour slowly sinking back into brown as the two of you looked at him as if his eyes had been those of a basilisk instead of his own, frozen.

And then, you eyed Sirius, a small smirk playing on the corner of your lips as you sank your hands back in the snow. He smirked in return, sinking his hands as well. By the time Remus noticed your intentions, your hands –icy and freezing– were on his neck and Sirius had slid his hand under Remus’ shirt.

Merlin knew who had been more startled after that. You, who had tumbled as you pulled on Remus and had him fall on top of you. Remus who had been shocked at the way Sirius had gone straight for his stomach –which in truth, had been a lot more shocking than the cold– and had his breath hitch in his throat. Or Sirius Black, who was only now contemplating his actions, realizing how awkward it must have been for his friend, and having a mini panic attack over the fact that digging his hands under Remus’ sweater felt as fucking thrilling as it did.

Remus was a lot less soft and a lot more firm than you were. And he adored your softness, but fuck, Remus’ harder frame felt impious under his hands. It felt lurid, licentious, beguiling… and it placed some rather salacious thoughts in his head.

Thoughts that… would be worthy of a muggle rock star. Of Freddie and Bowie, and perhaps even Elton. But Sirius was not– he wasn’t because if he had been… he’d know, right?

As you still had Remus pulled by the neck, you received yet another ball on the head, the leftover even splashing onto Remus whose head was so close to you that you could smell his hair, and then, you started laughing. So hard that you weren’t even feeling the cold against your back, the snow slowly sinking in your robes and soaking them.

Sirius was the next one to laugh, taking his hands off of Remus’ stomach and letting himself fall next to the two of you as he continued to cackle. And lastly, Remus joined, you still hadn’t let go of his neck, almost using it as a personal heater at that point, he didn’t seem to mind, and eventually he just sort of relaxed into you, if you felt the shift in weight as he let go, you didn’t seem to mind at all either.

“Well, well, well, would you look at the love puppies all cosied up while we continue the snowball fight.”

Sirius grabbed a snowball from the side and threw it his way without even looking, and since they all had the missile spell it landed straight onto Peter’s face. “Shut it Wormtail,” he said, borderline rudely.

While Sirius had never minded being called “Love Puppy” or whatever other joke Peter came up with, that was before he started doubting himself about whatever the hell was happening to him whenever he spotted Remus. Especially after exactly what he was feeling after he placed his hands under the other boy’s shirt, especially because it had been so fucking similar to the feeling he got when he did it to you.

“We’re off for breakfast. You are not planning to stay all tangled in your little love trench, are you?” Peter asked again, whipping his face off the snow and paying no mind to Sirius and how rude he’d been.

“We might be,” you joked, your hands had unconsciously travelled to Remus’ head after he laid down and you were now toying with his hair. He had silky hair, a little thicker in comparison to Sirius’ curls. Remus hummed in agreement, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the way your hands felt on his scalp. If Sirius thought it was weird, it had been his fault he ended up on top of you anyway. A part of him was telling him how bad of an argument that was, but it was easy enough to ignore it when Sirius didn’t seem to mind, and your hands felt heavenly.

“Suit yourselves, I heard there was going to be an assortment of Christmas pies today,” he said with a shrug.

Your head snapped his way. “Christmas pies, you said?” you asked, eyes shining and mouth watering at the thought. Your soft touch on Remus’ head switched to an unintended pull of his hair as you turned.

“Ouch!” He complained.

You winced, “Sorry Rem,” you said, not even turning to him as you patted him on the shoulder and wriggled your way out of the sandwich he had trapped you in with the snow. He tried not to look disappointed as he stood back on the small trench. By then you were already standing outside of it, and looking at Peter as if you wanted him to elaborate.

“The elves mentioned something,” he said simply. “Apple, pecan, peach, chocolate, some savoury ones too I assume.”

If you were a cartoon, you’d be drooling. “Well boys, pleasure messing with you and all that, but it’s pie time,” you said as you turned to walk behind Peter and the rest.

“Who’s the traitor now?” Sirius shouted with a smile.

“I’ll save you boys a seat,” was your only reply as you started sprinting towards the Great Hall, determined to be among the first to arrive so you could choose from the assortment of pies available.

The boys caught up with you as you were taking a seat, already having walked through the length of the table and picked out the pies that you’d be eating. When they sat down, Remus at one side of you and Sirius purposely taking the other side to keep some distance from himself and the source of his thoughts. You picked two pies from your plate and placed them in front of each of the boys.

“What’s this?” Remus asked as he picked it up.

You were about to give a bite to one of the tarts you’d picked and said “Pie,” with a shrug, taking a bite right after and moaning at how good it was.

Sirius’ whose head had already been messy that day, had to adjust his pants uncomfortably. First, you woke him up and he couldn’t complete his morning routine, then there was the whole confusing thing whatever the hell was going on in his brain when he was close to Moony and lastly, you moaning shamelessly as you ate.

“No shit Sherlock,” Remus said as he pushed you lightly, shoving you against Sirius whose breath hitched as you laid your cheek on his shoulder and pressed a light kiss. “I mean, what’s it made of?” You sat straight and pushed Remus in return.

“Try it, I know you’ll like it!” you said with a smile and gave another bite to yours. He gave you a distrusting look. “Oh come on, Moony! I wouldn’t give you something you don’t like! You’d get all pissy and Pissy Moony is no fun.”

“Pissy Moony?” he asked, almost offended. “You have a term for that?”

You left your pie on the table and raised his up to his mouth. “Sirius told me about it,” you said, “Now eat up, I promise you’ll like it.”

He gave you one last side eye and then gave it a bite, missing your hands the moment you brought them back to your plate to take a bite of yours.

“Cherries and chocolate,” Remus said with a smile as he turned to you. “I love it. How did you know?”

You shrugged, “I’m just that brilliant.”

“Will you also mouth-feed your boyfriend or is that only reserved for dear Moony?” Sirius flirted, trying to regain some sort of control of the dire situation he found himself in.

Sirius didn’t mean anything by it, but the way he’d said “your boyfriend” straight up felt like a jab on Remus’ heart. Sirius was right, the two of you were dating and he seemed to be intruding more and more lately. But then again, the only times Sirius seemed upset about how close you all were, were when he was teasing.

You rolled your eyes, but decided to take his pie in your hands either way “Close your eyes,” you instructed. Sirius gave you a weary look but did as told. “Try and guess what it is, deal?” you asked as you leaned it closer to his mouth. He leaned enough to give it a bite and then turned to you surprised “Is that…? Does it have firewhiskey?”

You smiled and pulled out a small bottle from your pocket, “Thought you’d like something a little different,” you said with a smile “peaches and firewhiskey.” Sirius took the pie from your hands, his discomfort almost fading in the background as he took a look at the pie you’d given him.

“But how?”

You shrugged “Added the firewhiskey and then did a small warming spell so it cooked a bit. I’m sure it would be better if they were cooked together from the start but I thought you’d appreciate a little spice…”

“I do, wanna taste it?” he asked as he passed it over, you gave it a small bite and all but moaned again, even closing your eyes and letting your head fall back just a little, exposing your neck to both boys, who could barely keep their eyes away from it, especially Remus. “Fuck I’m an incredible cook, Moons taste this out too!” you said as you, for the second time that day, shove a pie close to his face. When he gave a bite he couldn’t help but taste both you and Sirius in it. It really was fucking delicious.

He nodded as Sirius leaned over you to take the pie from Moony, their hands brushing against each other and giving both boys an electric-like feel, not because of actual electrical shock, but rather because of what they felt for each other. Sirius reclined back on his seat and placed his hand on your leg, seeking the hem of your skirt before sliding it over your skin.

Same fucking feeling.

You looked at his hand and nudged him lightly, he gave you a flirty wink in return that made you laugh and Remus tried to avert his gaze from both Sirius’ hand and the way your skirt had ridden up a good deal.

You gave another bite of your pie and turned to Remus, as casually as you could muster –even if you were a bit nervous to ask, which you shouldn’t be because he was your friend– “Wanna come to Slughorn’s Christmas Party with me?” No better time than now, right?

Remus wasn’t so sure about that, he almost choked on his own pie, he wiped his mouth with the back of his sweater before turning to yours with a frown “I’m sorry, what?”

Sirius started drawing circles on your leg, the way your skirt moved with each of his strokes didn’t escape Remus’ nervous gaze on you. “The Christmas Party from the Slug Club, I’m supposed to bring someone with me” –you tilted your face with a smile– “Want to come?”

Remus turned to Sirius, giving him a look, the other boy just shrugged with a nod but that wasn’t enough. “What about Sirius? Your boyfriend?” The words almost hurt to say.

“He doesn't want to come,” you said. “Right, Siri?”

“That’s more your kind of nerd stuff,” he said after he nodded, and pointed at the two of you.

“Slughorn has never invited me, he doesn’t want me there,” he said, not sure if he was supposed to feel dejected because you were his second choice or fucking delighted because you’d want to take him and not Sirius, thought he had to remind himself that you probably did want to take Sirius.

Remus didn’t stop to think that you would have, had you actually wanted to, easily convinced Sirius to come along. Let alone, would he have imagined that you had asked Sirius if you could take him instead.

“That’s exactly why I want to take you”– you said as you placed his hands around his arm– “I want to show that old snake how freakin’ clever my best friend is. You deserved an invitation much more than I did anyway.” Remus gave you a reproachful look when he heard the last thing. “You’re coming, yeah? It’s always fun to prove the snakes how wrong they are with you.”

Sirius smiled. “Come on mate, don’t make her beg,” Sirius said, flicking his finger on your thigh and letting them rest closer to the inner side, still at a prudent distance, and while you did feel the shift, you played it cool and tried not to even look. “Girl might end up taking Pete if you reject her,” he teased.

You elbowed him softly, not because you didn’t want to take Peter, but because he was implying it would be such a terrible choice. Of course, you’d much rather take Remus or even some of your other friends, like Tom or Minho (he was already invited) but that was because you were pretty certain Annie Doxon would hex you if you took her boyfriend. James was going with Lily, so he was completely out of the question.

“Okay,” Remus said with a shrug, trying to seem as natural as possible. “I’ll come but… what about the date though, you know near the end of December it’s the…”

“Moon’s on the 22nd, party is on the 21st. I know it’s just a day before and I’ll totally get it if you’re not feeling up for it by then. I wouldn’t want to make you into a Pissy Moony.”

He pushed you with his shoulder again, “Sod off!” he said jokingly and both you and Sirius started to laugh.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Some people were asking for a snow day chapter, and this felt about the perfect time for it. Love playing in the snow with the boys <3 Upon some requests, we have a DISCORD server now and you can all join in and chat about marauders and/or GC with other lovely people. If you wanna discuss a new oneshot or even the new chapters of GC this is your place to go. The announcement for it is here and I'll leave links to it on a reblog of this post ad in the comments.