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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

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watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!”

this will be a common occurrence

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!”

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

#i didn't mean to recap the entire fucking episode lol #sorry #it's to make up for my lack of content lately #or something #anyway #caryl #twd s11ep1 #twd s11 spoilers #dunlap tp

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bluegrowlmon · 5 years

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idr if you've talked abt this b4 cuz its been months since we've talked smt1 but... thots on an au where all the heroes knew eachother b4 the apocalypse?

this got rambly and im not sure if i wrote what you wanted but here this is

To start I’m already half convinced they knew each other pre-game, if only bc of their proximity. Kazuya and Takeshi lived in the same neighborhood I think? Im pretty sure. And Yuji was dating the girl living next to Kazuya so they probably crossed paths at least once, and isn’t impossible that takeshi crossed paths with yuji at least once. SO they’ve seen each other, and from there it might not be a stretch to say they know of each other, at least vaguely.

I don’t think it would take too much for them to know each other. Kazuya and takeshi have a lot of similarities, from geographic proximity, both living on social margins (takeshi bullied, kazuya ignored) and both with semi-similar home lives (both have single parents, no siblings (that I know of)). It would take a lot of effort on both their parts, mostly takeshi deciding to not see an offer of friendship as condescension or pity, so maybe he’d have to initiate. But they could be friends, if only in that ‘we have no one else to be with and I mostly tolerate you’ kind of way some schools friendships are formed.

Yuji I have a harder time seeing with them both on the basis of familiarity, just bc what little we know about him doesn’t seem to intersect with their own pasts much. He has both parents seems pretty well off and is into music possibly because his parents are. But there have been friendships based on less, and he seems amicable enough in game, working with Kazuya to escape the hospital and jumping in to help Takeshi with Ozawa. I don’t imagine itd take too much more than a conversation or two with Kazuya while he’s out walking Pascal for them to start forming a connection.

And hey I can just make this even more ficcy and just imagine that Yuji has a seemingly cushy life but is being pushed into things out of expectation rather than because he wants it, or maybe his relationship with his parents actually has some serious rough patches, idk. Maybe with his dad, since every other party member has dad issues.

(Yuji and Takeshi mostly tolerate each other via both being friends with Kazuya, and when hanging out with him can stay civil, and later on even friendly. They don’t really hang out with just the two of them though because then it descends into fighting real quick).

(No Yuka here unfortunately bc I don’t think its ever mentioned what Yuka did before heading the resistance faction, besides, being psychic, somewhere.)

I also like to imagine this increasingly intricate scenario as being a semi-long standing thing rather than something formed a year or two pre-game, so maybe they first got to know each other in like mid middle school. So they have middle school until the summer after high school (I imagine them as 18-ish to make the game also a metaphor for entering adulthood and the lack of guidance and choices that that brings) to get to know each other, hanging out after school or at arcades or studying together or whatever it was Japanese teenage boys did in 199X.

And bc Im a sap I like to think that the time together ifluences them, at least a little bit. Takeshi gets a bit less angry, because he has people to talk to and who look out for him and he doesn’t feel so alone. Kazuya leans to be more assertive, both from encouragement and from having to step up several times and make sure their group stays cohesive. Yuji learns to, idk, tolerate people with different viewpoints? There are very obvious rough patches, especially as they get older, but the friendship is a positive force in their lives overall.

SO finally the game happens. Pre time skip, most everything goes the same. Demons still happen, Kazuya’s mom still dies, Yuka still shows up, bombs still fall. The differences are small; Kazuya has his friends and not strangers to comfort him after she dies, so maybe he bounces back from that a bit better. The group isn’t as quick to go their separate ways, if they ever do, and maybe all of them try to find and rescue Yuji’s girlfriend (and im not sure how this would affect Kazuya’s relationship with Yuka? Ok maybe he splits off to help her but Takeshi sticks with Yuji when he goes off to find his girlfriend, which would be a pretty big moment of character growth for him)

Bombs still fall, they still get kicked to the Diamond Realm (I almost said velvet room what), and they all get dropped 30 years into the future.

SO the thing im torn about most here is whether their preexisting bonds would change their groups very-bad-end

On the one hand, I like to think that their bonds would change a few things. They’d still go their separate ways, bc Takeshi, for all that their friendship shores up his confidence and self esteem, is still insecure when it comes to Ozawa and wouldn’t pass up a chance to gain the upper hand and fuse with a demon to kill him. He might still leave bc he sympathizes with the gaean faction more than the others and still believes that being able to stand alone is true strength. Yuji would still die and get reincarnated bc, he’d still die protecting Kazuya bc he’s a good friend like that.

So that all happens. But maybe the friendship is the key difference that prevents things from descending into a bloodbath at the Cathedral. Takeshi still doesn’t want to rejoin Kazuya (assuming he’s going canon neutral route), but he remembers their days together, how Kazuya helped him when he felt completely alone in the world, and can’t bring himself to hurt or kill him, at least not then (or their past makes him even more insecure bc he thinks Kazuya thought he was weak but this is the happy scenario so we aren’t going there)

Yuji I’m not sure, since its implied (I think anyway) that he came back altered, so there might not be anything that could be done in the past to make sure he stayed someone they could reason with? But this is best end so maybe their past together is just strong enough to sway him from Messian control.

So there isn’t a death fight in the Cathedral maybe, but they’d still believe very strongly in their own factions, and probably just push the conflict farther down the road. In a way I feel its inevitable, and when the clashes finally happen they’ll be all the more painful for everything they’ve shared.

#smt #smt1 #smt 1 #lazarustaxa #long post #if this wasnt what you wanted please say so and ill try again

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ferretandtheweasel · 6 years

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Why I ship Draco and Ginny?

Seriously nobody asked for this 😂 tbh this is just my Harry Potter and Drinny journey. Also this is just me posting something to start this blog with. So, here's how everything went down:

So before anything I want y'all to know that I started reading Harry Potter at like 14? 13? (don't remember exactly). I was given the first 3 books as a gift. I was instantly hooked and finished them all pretty quickly. And because I am a slut for grey characters, Draco managed a place in my heart even when I low-key hated him (In the first two books lol). He was interesting to me because I wanted to see where his story would go? On the other hand I already had a soft spot for Ginny since Sorcerer's Stone. I had older cousins who wouldn't include me in their stuff so I found her adorbs and relatable in the first book and my sympathy for her only grew in CoS. Book 5 Ginny though, was my fav Ginny because she really put Harry in his place and hexed Malfoy. She became one of my favourite side-characters along with Luna and Neville.

Despite my love for her, like most people, Ginny ending up as Harry's main love interest definitely surprised me. JKR did a good job of convincing me though. I accepted quite easily that Harry and Ginny were endgame but before embracing Hinny, I was a believer that Rowling would make Ginny Weasley end up with Draco Malloy.

Why?

Some might ask and God, I wish there was some proper logic behind this but for some reason, my 15 year old romantic self was sold on the idea that Ginny and Draco are going to be Romeo and Juliet of the Wizarding world?

No, I don't know why I thought like this 😂😂😂 It just made perfect sense in my head at that time for Drinny to happen, I do laugh now at how cheesy I was as a teenager. I just loved thinking about the wizarding world, imaging about other characters that weren't the trio.

Anyway, so this revelation of Drinny possibly being Romeo-Juliet happened during Order of The Pheonix, Ginny hexes Draco with bat-bogey hex and for some reason I was fixated on that particular interaction in the book. I used to imagine Draco being flustered that little Weasley had hexed him, it just gave me so much thrill thinking how annoyed he would be that a girl got the best of him, I imagined him being turned on while he was mad at her, or that he would eventually get attracted to her while trying to get back at her. I just imagined them having the enemies-to-lovers sort of relationship and it just made sense.

Now let me tell you when I read Harry Potter, I lived in a small town in Pakistan, not only was internet not easily available there, it never occured to me back then to actually search for the Harry potter fandom online the few times i did get a connection, so I had no idea of "shipping" or "OTPs" and I didn't know any spoilers. So yeah I used to create scenarios in my head where Draco and Ginny would meet in the Hogwarts corridors and they would argue and have intense sexual tension, or how Draco would want to take revenge on Ginny for hexing him and it would lead to them to having an angry shouting matches which would lead to make out session etc (Yes, I am aware we call these 'headcanons' but back then I was not familiar with fandom terminology).

Anyhow, I finally get my hands on Half Blood Prince Book and lmao remember the scene where Harry is spying on Draco, and then Blaise (or someone else? Idr correctly) brings up how hot Ginny is, I was losing my shit because I was like, why else would JKR bring this up in front of Draco? I was sure that she was building up a secret romance between Drinny behind the scenes because we see stuff happeing through Harry's eyes. Yes i was connecting dots of my conspiracy theory, or at least wishing that that is what was happening.

So y'all can now probably imagine how freakin' surprised and confused I felt when Harry got jealous over Ginny and Dean in the Astronomy tower? 😂😂😂 Like i did not see Hinny coming, it hit me like a wrecking ball... But ofcourse I accepted Hinny at the time because I also loved how tables had turned and now it was Harry who became obsessed with her, I also loved the whole "But she is Ron's sister, I thought I liked her as a sister, Ron will be so mad".

So anyway I go move on with my life and finish Deathly Hallows but ofc Harry Potter series felt like my childhood ending and I couldn't accept it. In my head, even when I had embraced Hinny, I still felt the love for Drinny and saw their potential, by this time I was finally allowed a phone. (Yeah I got a mobile phone when I was almost 16 😂) and while searching for random hp related stuff online I came across Fanfiction...

I started reading fics because I wanted to know what happened between the time when the war ended and when epilogue happened. I also wanted more answers about all the characters. However, I used to find most stories/character ooc, so I used to leave most fics in the middle and move on, very few fics could satisfy me because few writers nailed JKR's Harry.

Anyhow exploring the world of fanfics to read something that I actually like, that's when I was introduced to the giant that is dramione. Dramione introduced the idea of fanfiction deviating from actual books, so I gave them a try but then there were so many Dramione fics on Fanfiction.net but their fics pretty much very early on put me off of that ship, and then I altogether gave up on it because the disrespect to the Weasleys especially Ron was astounding to me. Also people turned Hermione into a mary-sue character in fics which also put me off. I feel like people dont know how to seperate Emma Watson from Hermione. Anyway that is a rant for another day.... So yeah, It was then when I randomly decided that maybe I should check out if anybody wrote Draco and Ginny fics and it was like magic 😍

ff.net had some great Drinny fics Some of them were post series, some of them during their Hogwarts years. Some were pure fluff others K I L L E D me with angst! I still have issues with fics where in order for Drinny to happen they show how bad/abusive Harry-Ron-Hermione are. I leave them instantly, or fics where Ginny is ashamed of being poor (i feel like she loves her parents and everything they've done for her) or fics where I find them ooc... but over all Drinny is a ship which has given me some great fics and those fics have helped me deal with personal stuff and cheered me up when I was down.

Also reading about them gave me an insight on how healthy a relationship between them can be where they can both provide each other with validation, comfort, love and passion.

Reasons why i think they work:

1) Ginny and Draco are opposites but they compliment each other rather than repel. Eg: Ginny and Draco both belong to ancient pureblood families yet the environment and ideology they grow up with completely opposite, their values are opposite even when their world is the same. That gives a lot of foundation for both of them to learn from each other.

2) Ginny is fierce, talkative /bubbly (Ron mentions how it's strange that she's quiet around harry because usually she won't shut up), stands up for those she feels are being unfairly treated (Luna, Neville), she's quite popular as harry realises in year 6 that she has her own friends, she even gets invited to the "slug club"... I think this works so well with Draco who hides his emotions, is under control of his feelings... He's also somewhat of a bully in early years which just goes so well because can you imagine how explosive their encounters would be in the great hall? Draco saying mean things to Ginny just to wind her up and her reacting and never backing down. I think Ginny is really one of the only ladies who can match him inch by inch and call him out on his bullshit. Maybe wind him enough to lose control even.

3) They both play quidditch, can you imagine the friendly rivalry? That is one thing they can bond over, they can also bond over their ancient families and their respective experience of growing up in wizarding world post voldemort... It can be similar and different. They really have the potential to be attracted like magnets. Sorry dramiones, but the angst and enemies to lovers that Drinny delivers... No other hp ship does it for me.

So yeah guys Drinny is my guilty pleasure and I think Draco and Ginny could have worked out really well as a couple but off course I understand that JRK wasn't writing a romance 😂. There is just so much to explore in their dynamic though and I am glad for all the fanfics and fanarts are out there because they really satisfy my curiosity and love for them.

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thelillykane · 7 years

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for the salty ask meme #6 #1 #4 #5 and #12 Just pour all the salt, jennie!

oh my god i just refound this in my ask box so sit tight i’m gonna try & answer real quick~~~

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get? + 4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

as always, the answer is l*cas and p*yton like!!! it doesn’t make sense to me AT ALL how people ship this couple and consider them to be like soulmates when l*cas spends half of season one, all of seasons 2 & 3, half of season four, and the majority of season five being blatantly and vocally in love with other women* (mostly brooke but then in season five he’s literally engaged to and planning to marry lindsay and um friendly reminder kids that he’s not the one that calls off the wedding!!! he’s not at the altar going “yeah i love p*yton” he’s literally…devastated when lindsay leaves him and he even tries to win her back but like sure ok i guess he loves p*yton)

also, like…p*yton literally only wants to date him the second he becomes unavailable which isn’t even me being mean it’s just the goddamn truth!! he wants to date her in s1, she isn’t interested, and then he starts to move on (and she finds out brooke has a crush on him let’s sip that fucking tea together) and she decides she wants him!!!. and then she does the same thing in season five when he asks her to marry her and she says no so he?? moves on like anyone who got rejected would do and THAT’S WHEN SHE FLIPS HER SHIT and is like “oh well when you were eighteen-twenty you wrote a book where you promised to love me forever so you can’t get engaged to someone else even though yeah i started dating julian like a week after i said no to you”

and tHEN when they weren’t pissing me off on screen by treating everyone (brooke) like trash they were boring!!! like how tf

ALSO LISTEN the fact that not only does the show do a 180 and be like “oh lol l*cas always loved her even when he literally was repulsed by the mention of still having feelings for her” BUT THEY ALWAYS TRY TO PRETEND LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN TREE HILL WAS WAITING FOR THEM TO BE TOGETHER AND NO ONE WAS haley – l*cas’ best friend!!!! – is vocally against them being together on like 3 fucking occasions minimum, nathan is 100189001 team brooke penelope davis, karen & keith – lucas’ PARENTS – actually take the time to get to know brooke and end up rooting for her and her happiness both individually and w/ their son and they never bother to do that w/ p*yton, skills literally calls l*cas out on his behavior and calls p*yton out on hers (re: them being shitty af) but then two eps later is all ~lol i was a fan~ when he clearly wasn’t, i could fucking go on but you see my point like…no one wanted them to be together including them

the way they treat brooke formerly gets its own bullet point because oh my god even thinking about it makes my blood boil like 98% of the time i’m fucking i’m pissed

also re: them being ~soulmates~ and they ~were meant to be together from ep 1**~ hilarie burton, who plays p*yton, literally came out in an interview this year and said that they never intended, to her knowledge, as the actress PLAYING P*YTON!!, for l*yton to end up together but that the show switched gears around season four iirc (because sophia bush wasn’t super comfortable filming endless romantic shit with her ex husband who had cheated on her which i support fully)

ALSO i could be wrong but like….i’m pretty sure l*cas kisses brooke in every season he’s a main in (the s6 is a fakeout flash forward in which he lowkey envisions himself marrying brooke and lemme tell you that sure doesn’t seem like he’s super committed to p*yton) and you can’t say the same for him and p*yton (again i might be wrong but i don’t think they kiss in season 2) and they only kiss in season 3 because peyton thinks she’s gonna die and he’s sitting right there

^ the above is arguably the pettiest bullet point on here but i don’t give a FUCK i hate this fictional couple with every atom i possess

FUCK !!!! LISTEN that stupid “you’re always saving me thing” that p*yton says to him and it’s supposed to be romantic like lol he literally didn’t even go into the school for her that day!!! like sure once he’s in there he ends up saving her but that isn’t even what he wanted to do!!! he goes into the school to try and get nathan and to make sure nathan doesn’t get hurt!! when brooke is sobbing telling him she lost track of p*yton when she was getting out of the building l*cas doesn’t get all White Knight and go in to save her he literally was gonna stay with brooke!!! who he loves!!! (there’s an instance similar to this in season one where he only ~saves~ her because he is like…around when brooke is trying to get help for p*yton and probably others too but that’s the BIG one)

ALSO OH MY GOD in season 3 when they make p*yton realize she loves l*ke again they do it in the dumbest way??? she’s literally…with j*ke and she is asleep and mumbles l*kes name and then j*ke is like “u said his name in ur sleep u don’t want to be with me” and dumps her while she’s crying and saying she flat out doesn’t love l*cas (but then she has no one else so she’s like lol what the heck i guess i will love him romantically)

and btw that^ is another instance where it wasn’t p*yton choosing to be with l*cas it was literally someone deciding NOT to be with her…which come to think of it is how they always get together? like?? they never choose to be with one another except in season one after they fucking cheat on brooke like dirtbags and then l*ke dumps brooke to be with p*yton but after that they literally..only pick each other as last resorts because they have no one else. like lmao!!! that is not my idea of grand romance otp it’s literally…sad in the pathetic, embarrassing way

*idr season six that well but i am willing to bet he does it a little bit during this season as well (also from what i remember they literally…stopped writing scenes w/ him and brooke one on one together because they knew the audience would take one look at those scenes and KNOW he still loved her and not p*yton)

also um brooke/lucas parallel nathan/haley so much so it’s just so fake whenever people try and say they weren’t the intended endgame for a while there like…look at the parallels. open your eyes.

anyway y’all i could probably keep going i am the most bitter and angry about them always and there’s literally 200+ things that are just ??? about them it’s Too Easy

oh also fandom jumo but uh piper/l*o from charmed are boring as shit they’re okay in s1-2 and after that i was like hey can we get him off my screen thanks

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

I don’t think “ruined” is the right term, but there are definitely some ships that I saw overhyped imo and then when I watched the show I was…underwhelmed. (I’m referring specifically to Ch*ck/S*rah when I type this because the never ending will they-won’t they was just fucking exhausting and by season 3 – which is where i am currently on hiatus – when they actually got together i just could not bring myself to care) (also she can do better and deserves better and season 3 chuck is like the worst version of him so far but)

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

not to my knowledge!

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

i was just talking about this the other day with amanda!! (i would normally tag her but she loves l*yton and i respect that so i’m not gonna make her see the seven paragraphs in which i Destroy them)

essentially we talked about how everyone needs to back up off of season three of veronica mars. like, sure, compared to seasons one and two it’s not as good, but even those seasons have stuff i don’t like such as: gross rape plots, needless and unwelcome attempts at love triangles, sidelining of POC characters for ?? reasons (it’s racism y’all, that’s the reason), sidelining of female characters for White Male Development (re: Mac not becoming a regular that season while Dick & Cassidy both did), etc. and all of those reasons are the big reasons why people shit on season three but [dennis reynolds voice] newsflash asshole! it was there the entire goddamn time

^to continue the above, i think season three has SO MANY POSITIVES AS WELL for example: logan canonically tells veronica mars that he loves her. um. that’s Good Shit. also!!!: parker lee is there, weevil working w/ keith mars for a bit, logan and veronica making out on the stairs to fidelity by regina spektor, holy fuck does veronica mars love logan echolls so much, THAT SCENE WHEN LOGAN APOLOGIZES TO VERONICA AGAIN!!, BEATS UP GORY SORKIN BECAUSE HE’S RUDE AF TO VERONICA, SHRUGS WHEN GORY THREATENS HIS LIFE, IMMEDIATELY GOES AND APOLOGIZES TO PIZ, AND THEN VERONICA WATCHES HIM WALK AWAY BEAMING WITH HEARTS IN HER EYES LIKE THAT SCENE IS IN SEASON THREE YOU GUYS IT’S RIGHT THERE and then like!!! there’s quality eps in there that i love with my whole heart~~ wichita linebacker!!! poughkeepsie tramps and thieves!!! postgame mortem!!! charlie don’t surf!!!

in summary: like…yeah parts of it were geuninely awful. just..like….the rest of the seasons. and the movie. which is like.. another Thing

also fandom jump again but uh Rory’s decision to leave Yale in season six was absolutely the right one for her to make and Lorelai is the fucking worst about it. and if Lorelai hadn’t overreacted and ostracized Rory over it Rory would’ve gone back to Yale and lot sooner and that’s what you missed on Glee

#cariebishop #jennie interacts with people #anti leyton #buffys #victoria pls come drag l*yton w me #don't look amanda

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augmentedampharos · 7 years

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also last night I couldn’t sleep cause I was thinking about anti-semitism that I’ve experienced and had a realization about one of my experiences

I was in middle school (or early high school idr) and went to a friend’s birthday party. I didn’t know most of the people there.

Anyway people are just chatting and someone suddenly starts talking about “their weird Jewish neighbor” (honestly I don’t recall any of it I just kind of froze and panicked I don’t even know what was “weird” but they were making fun of one of our holidays).

Another friend (not the birthday girl) said, “hey, {augmentedampharos} is Jewish.”

And then everyone apologized and we talked about something else.

At the time, I was...grateful for that. In retrospect, what the fuck. That’s not what you do to stop that sort of thing. It put me on the spot. I felt humiliated even further. You don’t call attention to the person. You say something like, “stop making fun of Jews asshat” or more realistically, “it’s not okay to mock other people for their culture.” You don’t call out the person who is being made fun of. I know, we were middle schoolers, but somehow I only realized this now. I dunno. It all hurts sometimes. I was just so embarrassed and humiliated about my failure to stand up for myself and my religion.

In contrast, sophomore year of high school I had friends who defended me, and looking back now I should have valued them more than I did.

We had a “World History” course where every Friday we would bring in articles about what was going on in the world that piqued our interest to discuss. Not every article was discussed. I remember that week there had been an incident at an elementary school where some kids decided it was, “Punch a Jew Day”. Kids. Decided this. That’s horribly fucked up. I think I neglected to bring that article in because I found it upsetting.

Well, someone else in the class brought it in, and brought it up, saying how it was, “hilarious”. And to some degree, I get it. It’s so absurd sounding that you think it’s funny. I get it, I do. But the thing is, it’s not funny, and I think for most of you the reasons why are obvious, but I’ll enumerate some of them anyway. Where did these kids learn this? Where did these kids get these ideas? From their parents. What does that mean? Anti-semitism is alive and well (which is obvious in this day and age but as a naive child I wanted to believe it wasn’t). Teaching hate starts at a young age.

Anyway, I don’t really remember what I did at this time. The methods for participating in the discussion I think involved throwing a thing to the next person to speak. I don’t remember the order, but a Muslim friend of mine and a Mormon friend of mine both spoke, and immediately shut that shit down. They didn’t make the mistake my other friend did. They explained that it wasn’t funny, and that it was awful. And then the class moved on.

So uh, where was the teacher in all of that? I don’t know. I remember telling my parents I don’t know why she didn’t say anything. I think sometimes she didn’t pay attention during these discussions, but on the other hand that’s giving her a cop-out. She should have said something, and she should have been paying attention, or else what was the point of having these conversations in class. Why didn’t she say anything? I think I’ve forgiven her (much as I’ve forgiven everyone in these stories, even myself for not speaking up), but I will never forget. Almost every teacher that could have stood up for me and for Judaism did not. What’s the lesson there, teach?

As an aside, because of the way my Mormon friend stood up for me and the respect I had for him, I have always felt terrible about the way that Mormons are kind of “fair game” for mocking their religion. There’s even an entire play devoted to that. I feel really guilty making fun of Mormonism and so I don’t. But it seems to me like almost everyone thinks it’s okay to make fun of them. Maybe I’m missing something, but I dunno...I know how I feel when my religion is mocked, although there’s some additional cultural context and baggage there.

I might as well finish this post with the last major incident from high school. This was senior year, and unfortunately the things that happened at the beginning of the year impacted the rest of it.

I had a teacher for AP Calculus BC. I’d had him for AB. He was fairly well-liked, although I can say I was never that fond of him. He liked to tease people and overly praise those of us in the class who did really well (myself, my Mormon friend, and two others from my friend group). For those of us who were religious, I felt that his “teasing” really went after us. I don’t remember the kind of jokes he made to my Mormon friend, but frankly I felt that they were too much. I also felt the jokes made at me were too much.

The worst and final straw happened very early that year (mind you, with the entirety of having this teacher for junior year behind me as well). I observe Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur. Those are the MOST IMPORTANT HOLIDAYS in Judaism. I missed school for it. That’s what I do. It is important. It means a lot to me.

I came back from Yom Kippur, and this asshat of a shitbag teacher says to me, “did you have a good time fighting terrorists/palestinians in Israel while you were gone?” or something to that effect. Frankly, I was too horrified and upset to really remember what he said, or what I did. I think I said something like, “I wasn’t doing that”. No one stood up for me. Here’s the thing - no one stood up to this teacher. Ever. At least, as far as I know. It’s possible people talked to him privately, like I did, but...he was intimidating. And like all teachers in my high school, he was temperamental and could probably ruin your grade in the class if you pissed him off.

After talking to my parents, I made with him privately before school. There had been some incidents in Seattle that were clearly anti-semitic. I used those as a springboard to gently criticize his behavior. Criticize is way too strong a word here. I said something like, “hey, there’s been a lot of anti-semitism in Seattle lately {mentions incidents} so while I know you don’t mean any harm I’d appreciate if you didn’t make jokes like that anymore”. He agreed, and I left sweating bullets but hopeful.

He ignored me the rest of the year. He continued to praise other people, but even when I did as well or better, said nothing. True to his word, he didn’t make jokes about me or my religion anymore, which was good. But being ignored was in some ways just as bad.

And everyone loved this teacher, or at least pretended to love him. I really don’t fucking know why. I mean, I do, cause I liked him at first, but with any sort of critical eye he was awful. I didn’t really have anyone (except my parents) to talk to about it. And I knew the year after my brother would have him as a teacher, and I worried about that.

It really has stuck with me. Was it a case of “you have no sense of humor so I’ll just ignore you” or a case of, “fuck I could lose my job over this better just ignore here”? It doesn’t really matter to me what it was. The outcome was the same. This was the hardest to forgive, in some respects, but I think I have.

Oh, and the real ringer, is that in my yearbook (which I still asked him to sign for some reason, idk) he wrote an apologize for not acknowledging my accomplishments. He knew was he was doing, enough to apologize for it. He knew that what he did was wrong. But an apology when you will never see me again is too late. I can’t take it seriously.

The experiences we have matter. One bad teacher, a good friend or two, they matter. Anti-semitism is alive and well. I am often afraid. And sometimes I remember these things, and I weep. Nothing will ever change the raw emotions I felt from having my identity mocked, especially from those in a position of power over me.

#personal #antisemitism #anti-semitism #my experiences

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thebottomoftheapple · 4 years

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Hello Again

Yes, it’s been over a year again.

I’m not going to stress myself but I do really want to write more. I feel like when I wrote more consistently, I was happier, overall. Or maybe I’m just really sad right now and have been for a while but it’s all just coming out now. I haven’t really cried like this honestly since maybe when I graduated, which I didn’t think was that bad. A few months earlier I think I cried even more when my “London Boyfriend” broke up with me (IDR if i ever mentioned him before but it’s too irrelevant at this point so). ANYWAY yes there’s a new boy involved too but I’m not sad because of him...I think..but i do think he brought out all of this.. or maybe he’s just the last person I wad with and everything’s finally catching up to me (We’ll talk about him later).

So I’m finally going to Atlanta. But let’s recap the last year first.

(I haven’t read my last post bc I cannot rn) Last year I was still freelancing at NowThis and was planning on leaving to ATL in the spring/summer... but then they offered me a full time job and I took it. I wouldn’t say I regret it because I did learn a lot and saved a good amount of money. But i would say it attributed to this stagnant discontent-ness that I’ve been masking by going on vacations, getting drinks and going out with friends, and talking to Milton. I haven’t fully felt like myself in a while and it sucks because I feel like I’ve personally regressed. Like being abroad, my summer in ATL and I suppose graduating were great high points for me. I was excited, eager, and for the most part fulfilled. Obviously, life wasn’t perfect back then but ever since being back home I feel like I’ve been pretending to be all those things I used to be.. with distractions. But now I’m FINALLY changing things up and doing what I think is best for me.. and I’m scared. It’s not just the fact that I’m leaving all my friends and family behind (which is much bigger than I thought it was), it’s also the fear of failure, of making the wrong choice, of making a good choice for right now but maybe not for the long term. I’m scared. Of being alone, of making mistakes. But I’m also excited (lol 😭) to just go. The sadness really hits when I’m up alone all night, like I literally feel helpless cause I’ve been doing this for too long. But hopefully this will go away once I get down there and I pray they’ll have work for me much sooner rather than later once I’m there. But because I have some family there it shouldn’t be too bad, right? I think I am really excited though, eager to start - yeah it’s the uncertainty too that’s wearing down on me. Once I start that first gig, I know everything will be sweet. I just have to be patient *sigh* but also fill up my time somehow. 🙄

Sooooo I guess I can go into Milton now... yes, that Milton 😂. It’s really crazy because I’m still unsure on how I exactly I feel, but I know I do really care about him. So it started when I went up to cuse for Mayfest weekend. Basically he invited me over to smoke and I was off the molly lmao so I was chattin’ about everything and anything when I was with him. He subtly tried to make moves but I was dismissing them because it’s Milton... and what happened early... But then he kissed me and I liked it and the rest is history... LOLJK but we’ve been talking since (I’ve concluded I only like to guys who don’t live near me bc......). In the beginning it was fun, good sex, and someone nice to talk to and if I’m being honest I never really saw him as someone I’d want to be with seriously, partially for shallow reasons but also we spent like a whole week together and by the end of it I felt like we were an old married couple, like we loved each other but didn’t like each other. And i thought I shouldn’t feel like this with someone I’m not even in a relationship with... but this weekend kinda felt like that again. Like I was cleaning up like I was his wife and he was just watching tv. But this time it felt a little more right, normal? Maybe I keep getting these inklings because they’re tapping into the future? or past? In another dimension?I don’t know, it’s weird. But he really opened up to me more than he has before (which has been a lot!) And I just tried to console him you know, but then I started crying in the middle of the night..... and after he left, I cried when he facetimed me, and I cried some more after I hung up. And I’m tearing up thinking about it now (UGH). But yeah now I really don’t know how to feel about him, since I’m leaving. It’ll probably be like how it was with every other boy, sad for a bit but then I’ll meet someone knew and pretty much forget about them. Or maybe we’ll get married in 10 years, who knows. I want to get a tarot card reading done (lmao that’s a random sidetrack). No but he’s actually really great like from all the boys I’ve talked to, he’s been the most genuine and that’s something I’ve always wanted and whether it’s with me or not, I truly do wish him the best in the future.

And so speaking of this weekend, I had my goodbye party 😂It wasn’t what I pictured it to be like but I still think it was successful. The whole thing went by super quick for me because I was too busy making sure everything was going right: with the decorations, and the food, and DJ, and pictures, and money and wristbands, and just making sure everyone was having a good time. I was def overwhelmed but I think everyone had a good time. I got lit and had fun so that’s all I could ask for (except for it being cheaper ughhhhh but whatever it’s over now, I’m never doing that again until I’m big ballin’ then YES). Turnout could’ve been a little better toooo lol but I think that sums up how many and who really fucks with me so it’s fitting 😌My squadrin got me an amazingggg care package with polaroids, snacks, other things I love, and handwritten letters 😢, which I haven brought myself to read yet. But they are so amazing, literally the best people ever, all things considered, they are the best! And then I spent the next couple nights with Milton, where he gave me a super sweet gift as well! A gopro type of camera, ugh he’s so sweet.

And now the party and party planning is over and there’s nothing left but to leave (and Max & Nat’s Bday party). So I’m here, home alone, sad lmao and i hit my fucked up nail again and now it’s hanging on for dear life and IDK what to do, I’m so upsetttttt lmaooo this would happen to me, Karen put this omen on me smh. ANYWAY I’m glad I decided to write again. I do feel better, just like I did before. I want to continue writing, maybe monthly. And to help me do this I’m going to set monthly goal(s). For January I’ll be lite:

Throw my going away party (done lol)

Drive down to Tio Edwin’s house

Work on my first of many projects in ATL

I’ll let you know how everything goes next month! (or sooner 😉)

- XOXO KIKIPALMTREE

#1/14/20 #i'm baaaaaaack #2020 a better year than the last #guess I should change this blog to bottomofthepeach 😉

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