#anyways even though the drawings have some errors I'm still very proud of how they turned out! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jengarie · 3 years

Text

#showyourprocess !

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you, @rinielle for tagging me! She chose the piece above (original post), and oh boy this one was a whole ass rollercoaster ride! Unfortunately, I hadn't turned on the timelapse feature for this but I'll try to go through each part of the process as best as I can!

The photos I'm gonna upload are gonna be a mix of screenshots and literal photos of my screen, because I'm taking some of them from my updates to friends, since a lot of the steps got lost in my painting process.

But before that, let me tag some other amazing creators!

@dragonji: this gif art!

@candicewright: this yibo painting!

@wendashanren: this gifset!

@mylastbraincql: this gif!

I haven't been able to keep track of who's been tagged so apologies if you've already done this! Also, no pressure to do it at all if you would rather not! <3

Planning

Sometimes, I get an idea first and find reference photos to go with that idea. But for this one, I sought out a reference photo first, and built an idea on top of it!

After that, I roughly sketch out the base pose. Usually, this looks very messy, but it doesn't really matter as long as I understand which part goes where!

The idea for the background didn't really come until the creation process because I don't think I really planned this to be a full piece.

Creation

Sketching

Honestly, from this point on, it's more of trial and error.

So, I redid the the initial base pose—made it cleaner and a little bit more detailed. See: the added definition in their arm muscles, the rearrangement of Wei Wuxian's legs, and Lan Wangji's hand on Wei Wuxian's back. If you look at the second photo, I also changed the pose a bit midway—I tend to edit as I go sometimes when I change my mind. (For this, I thought, given the Lan arm strength, it would be better to make Lan Wangji look more at ease carrying Wei Wuxian. This gets covered by the robes anyway though, so it didn't matter much in the end.)

I also started adding details to the base! I usually start with the face and then the hair! I usually go for the clothes next, but I dreaded the robes in this piece so I guess that's why I ended up with a basic idea of what I wanted for the background instead LOL I also figured out how I want the final crop to look like, so I blocked out all the other areas with an extra layer!

Okay, onto the part that killed me like ten times: the robes. There are a lot of interactions between their robes here given their pose, and not to mention they also have layers upon layers on each of them! So, to maintain my sanity and to keep track of which part is which, I color coded them into the most colorful sketch I've ever made.

Another reason why I filled in each layer of robe with a solid block of color, is so that all the lines underneath gets covered. Without all of the colors, the actual outline actually looks like the one on the right. What a nightmare!

I also ignored the crop again for this part, because it's always better to draw past your borders, in case you decide to rotate or tilt or whatever your piece later on. I didn't do the feet anymore though, because that I was sure wouldn't show in the final piece anymore.

After that, I did the sketch one more time and then started adding the base colors. (I didn't have a screenshot of just the base colors, and the final CSP file is a nightmare so I copy pasted the layers into a new canvas to show you guys :') )

By the way, I drew their robes flowing this way, because I wanted it to frame the lower arch of the moon behind them for the composition. It was a little frustrating that I couldn't get Lan Wangji's robes a little higher because of Wei Wuxian's legs but I later filled in the empty space with his forehead ribbon anyway, so it all worked out in the end!

Painting

Because apparently, I was a masochist back then, I merged the base colors all into one layer and started adding shadows to the robes. (These days, I add shadows first and then, merge. It's much easier this way.)

And then, I started painting! Again, I did the face first and then the hair, before finally the robes. This was my first time painting side profiles and honestly it was quite a pain to figure out LOL but !!! I think I did a good job and I'm proud of how it turned out. I again used reference photos for this one but I can't link any because they were just several random Pinterest photos that I didn't save.

Another thing to note is that I use the mesh transform tool a lot, especially on faces. That's largely why Lan Wangji's face looks so different in the latter two!

And then I went with the robes. Somewhere along the way, I realized I didn't like how I planned to do Lan Wangji's sleeves and the flowy part of Wei Wuxian's robes and I... decided, with much dread, to do them over. So I sketched on top of the painted layers and redid the robes, again.

It was at this point that I decided to take a break from this piece because it was honestly very draining! I think it took about three weeks before I decided to open the file again and continue it.

When I did, I just finished painting the rest of the robes and their hands. The blue details on Lan Wangji's outer robes were painted on a separate layer that I put on Multiply. I probably did more adjustments to the face and hair and stuff, because my painting process is honestly a mess :')

Final Adjustments

I added some correction layers on certain areas to fix some of the colors. See: Lan Wangji's sleeve becoming much brighter and paler; Wei Wuxian's legs having less contrast. And then I merged all of the layers (excluding the background) and added a bit of blur. See: Wei Wuxian's ponytail; the entire lower part; the flowing forehead ribbon. My reasoning for this is so that most of the detail (and therefore the flow of the eye) goes to their faces and expressions!

And then, I put a blue Overlay layer on low opacity to make Wangxian blend better with the background, added a bit of shadow on the inside and the lower sections and added the glowing details for the added flair. I initially wanted sparkles and/or stars but they didn't turn out as well as this did. I also upped the contrast by a little for the entire piece!

Aaaand, that's it! In truth, I did a bit more color adjustments to the whole piece, but I was a dummy who forgot to turn them back on before posting so ... oh well.

Posting

Before posting, I upload it either on my spare private Twitter account or on a drafted Tumblr post so I can check the colors on my phone. This is because the colors on different devices can look very different, and I would at the very least want all my pieces to look nice on both of my devices!

And then, once I deem it satisfactory, I just try to think of a caption and post! Some artists wait for a certain time where most of their followers are active, but I didn't have a lot of MDZS followers at this point so it didn't really matter to me.

It still doesn't really; I haven't actually been able to figure out when my MDZS followers are awake even now.

#showyourprocess #mine #whew this was so long oops #but this piece took like #maybe 1.5 weeks sans the break i had to take #so !!#LOL #tag game

46 notes · View notes

genesisinferno · 3 years

Text

This was meant to be a future chapter for "Follow His Footsteps" but the scene wouldn't leave my brain so now you guys can have it and I can finally get it out of my head. I'll probably have to something a little differently for this planned scene, rip.

////

"Just this once," Cross said. He wouldn't do this again. He wouldn't let his guard down again - he couldn't. If only for himself, he couldn't afford to let his guard down more than once. He had to stay on track, he had to stay focused, he had to be cold and distant at all times...

But just this once. Just this one time, he could afford to let his guard down, right?

"Just this once," Killer agreed with a nod, something almost sly in his empty gaze. They both knew he didn't truly believe that and was just going along with it - he had every intention to get Cross to drop his guard again, regardless if Cross wanted to or not. Cross should care, he should withdraw or be annoyed. He should keep his guard up. But he was tired. So, so very tired. So, this time, only this time, he would let it go. But he would never do it again, no matter how much it hurt or how much it killed him inside. Just this once.

Cross stares at Killer for a moment, cautiously. A part of him still didn't want to let go - he had built this mask up for so long and he'd forgotten what he was like underneath. It almost scared him, not knowing who he was anymore. He'd been a different person in X-Tales and had worn a mask ever since he'd destroyed his home. To let go now, even if only for a short while, was terrifying. It was a vulnerability he hadn't allowed himself in so long. He could still put his mask back on after this, right? He could still pretend, right? Killer wouldn't... try to draw him out again, right? (He knows he would.)

Something in Cross snaps, strained and tired from the pressure of holding himself together for so long now, and that's all it takes. He ducks his skull, wrapping his arms around Killer in a loose hug. Cross drops his skull onto Killer's chest, his arms tightening until he's almost crushing Killer in his grasp. Killer, for once in his life, is silent as he wraps his own arms around Cross, returning the hug. Unlike Cross, Killer doesn't hesitate in holding him tightly, as if he's afraid that if he doesn't, Cross will run from him again. Something about the action, something about the unspoken intentions and feelings that lay underneath causes Cross to shake. He has to physically restrain himself from crying. He knows what he is and he knows what he does. Not just to Killer, but to the Dust and Horror too. Even to Nightmare and Error. He knows how he worries them, how he brushes off their concern so easily that it makes them frustrated to the point they feel angry and helpless. How they look out for him all the time and just want him to let them in - something Cross can't afford to do. Something Cross is too scared to allow, in his current situation. Because letting them in means getting more attached, means putting them in even more pain when he leaves. It means it'll hurt them further.

Just like Killer is hurt now, because of him. Cross hates the feeling of helplessness he feels, the frustration at not being able to help further, the guilt and the pain, and the worry and fear of losing Killer. He hates how he knows that they feel like this about him on a daily basis. But like he's done for so long, he doesn't allow himself to lament on his own mistakes or shortcomings - instead lashing out at the one before him.

"Dammit, Killer! You almost died, you idiot!" Cross snaps, glaring at the injured skeleton with unshed tears in his sockets. For a second, Killer seems almost surprised but then his signature grin stretches over his skull.

"Yeh, but I didn't," Killer states it like it's some obvious fact he's proud of, when he should be more concerned with the fact that he nearly died and still isn't completely in the clear yet. Until they find a way back to the castle, Killer's still very much at risk. Especially since Cross' makeshift first aid wouldn't do much more than support Killer's injuries until they could get proper help.

"That doesn't make it any better," Cross whines, almost childishly. Oddly enough, Killer's casualness helps to keep the tears at bay. If he can still do that much, then it's possible it's not affecting him as much as Cross had originally feared. It's something he has to chance to bounce back from like usual.

"Sure it does," Killer chirps and looks at him teasingly. "Ya worried anyway?" The question takes Cross aback, because of course he is. It had been his fault Killer was injured to begin with. He got hurt protecting Cross while he was stupidly distracted by something or the other. Despite how much Cross tried to deny it, tried to refuse the feelings, he cared about Killer - about all of the bad Sanses, even though he couldn't afford to. He's discovered he's absolutely terrible at remaining detached when put in front of skeletons hellbent on caring for him - even though he didn't need the care or the worry.

"I... of course I am. You... you're hurt and it's my fault. You could have died and it would have been my fault," Cross mumbled sadly, the tears finally spilling out of his sockets. They dropped down onto Killer's shirt, soaked up by the fabric.

"Hey. Hey. Don't say shit like that, makes you seem like you really care underneath all that bravado," Killer chuckled. Cross gripped him tighter for a second, remembering himself. Killer was right. Even if Cross decided to let his guard down for a bit, he still shouldn't say stuff like that. He couldn't take it back. Killer seemed to notice the change, quickly speaking up again.

"In all seriousness... don't worry 'bout it. I ain't going anywhere. Think you can get rid of me that easily?" Killer seemed amused by the thought that anyone could even consider the thought of it. As if he were immortal. He wasn't. He was strong but even he could die. Not to say that it was easy to kill him - Killer was like a parasite with a grudge, hellbent on taking everyone down with him.

"No..." Cross sighed and Killer's smug grin sharpened. Cross just sighed, burying his skull in Killer's chest and simply soaking in the fact that Killer was alive and allowing himself to be relieved at the fact instead of pushing it away. He'd gotten him out in time. He'd been there. They've avoided the worst case scenario. Killer was alive and they still had a chance out of this.

"...do you want me gone?" Killer's voice is quiet, far quieter he's ever heard it, and Cross can just barely pick up on the insecurity hidden within it. His skull snaps up, more from the tone than the actual question itself. Killer is supposed to be annoyingly confident, not sad or insecure.

"No!" Cross denies immediately, surprised and more than willing to fight Killer on this if he has to. There's the slightest shift to Killer's expression and a tenseness to his body that Cross isn't familiar with. To his surprise, at his words, Killer's expression returns to normal and he relaxes slightly, pulling Cross closer to him minutely.

"Then it's all good, yeh? Besides, I'm getting a voluntary hug from the solitary soldier himself, so it wasn't all for nothing. Heh," Killer chuckles, and Cross glares at him for it. He has half a mind to ignore Killer entirely. His inability to shut up ruins everything.

But then the smile drops off Killer's face again and Cross finds himself unable to keep the glare up, instead watching Killer in concern.

"Just this once... tell me something, Criss-Cross," Killer's voice is quiet and soft that it doesn't even sound like his voice anymore. Cross isn't used to this vulnerability and it's beginning to send him into a panic. He doesn't know how to deal with stuff like this anymore. He hasn't dealt with stuff like this - even for himself, that he doesn't know what to do. "Do ya care at all? Would you... be better off without me?"

Everything about that question was wrong, especially coming from Killer. From secure, overconfident, stupid Killer. And it hurt. Crap, it hurts and this is exactly what Cross was trying to avoid. He didn't want to hurt and he certainly didn't want any of the Bad Sans to hurt because of him. Apparently, he'd failed both points, because Cross cared so damn much that it hurts. He didn't want to lose Killer. He couldn't stand the thought of it, let alone bear the pain that would come from it. He'd lose whatever sanity he had left if he lost one of them, he just didn't want to admit it. That is, he didn't want to admit until Killer asked. Because now Cross was willing to, if it meant that Killer would just stay.

"I don't wanna lose you. So don't go, Killer," The tears spilled out of his sockets, as he whispered, "You've gotta... You've gotta stay with me, okay? D-don't leave me." Killer held him tighter, as if afraid to let him go and Cross clutched onto him for dear life, afraid to ever leave this moment.

///

I don't own any characters. This is meant purely platonically but I guess you can see it as Kross if you want to. But yeah, this is meant to be brotherly, with Cross being super afraid to open up and finally taking one of the first steps to. I wrote this instead of writing the next chapter but since this isn't a major delay, I think I can get away with it.

#killertale sans #cross sans #X tales #bad sanses #if you squint you can view it as cross #future chapter rip me #platonic #brotherly love here #hi if you're reading tags #are tumbler tags like ao3 tags?#because I have every intention to have fun with it if so #cross #killer #bonding #if you squint you can view it as Kross #xtale sans

9 notes · View notes

just-like-playing-tag · 4 years

Text

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

#This was supposed to be posted on July 13th as one year and one month since I made the blog #but Tumblr decided to be a jerk and deleted all of it 😊#So here we are #tpn #tpn manga spoilers #long post #Again this is just a personal report don't stress over reading all of it #But it was fun to make!#To the people I tagged: sorry for tagging you in this long post but also it would have felt weird not to do so? I hope you don't mind #It felt like... Giving credits foe something you've done y'know

40 notes · View notes

my-arlington-academia · 5 years

Text

A little fanfiction for Axel's birthday! (Yes I'm always late to everything 😔)

After I missed his birthday, for some reason inspiration hit me and I wrote this to apologize to myself for forgetting. I decided to make Scholar a boy in this one since I feel like there's not enough male Scholar content! (This is also the very first fanfic I have ever shared with other people so don't be surprised if some parts are really clumsy. Beware of possible typos and grammatical errors...) Enjoy!

-------------------------------------------

The day was slowly drawing nearer.

Scholar was checking out multiple social networking sites and Axel's Wikimedia page for a few hours now. The fangirls and fanboys were excited all over the Internet as if it was their own birthday. Comments such as "Axel and I share the same birthday!!" And "I've been following you since the very beginning, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Axel 💖 you really helped me when I was going through tough times." Or "HAPPY B-DAY AXEL❤❤ I LOVE YOU BBY"

Made Scholar wonder how it must feel like to receive happy birthday messages from millions of strangers. Well, he was guessing that it must be really pleasant: why wouldn't it be? Even if Axel doesn't know them it doesn't change the good intentions they have. Anyway! This wasn't the point of Scholar's "research."

He was browsing through a bajillion of interviews, fanblogs and comments to find what Axel liked. Which was, he thought to himself, maybe a little dumb. They may have known eachother only for about 3 months but at least he knew Axel on a personal level, not through a screen. Hell, when they met Scholar had no idea of who that handsome rocker boy was supposed to be. And now here he was trying to find an answer to something he should probably know the answer to better than Axel's fans. Not to throw shade at them or anything.

"Aaaaaghhhh!!" Subconsciously, Scholar let out a loud whine not realizing that his voice was louder than he intended it to be. "Shut up!! We can hear you from here!" It was Karolina in the room nextdoor. "I'm sorry!! ...ugh." Thankfully she didn't hear the "ugh" part not that it would change her opinion about him.

Scholar was just so lost: "what the hell can I gift to a rich handsome talented guy and not look like an idiot?!" Is what was going through his mind the whole day and it was already 11pm. Tomorrow was Axel's birthday and he still didn't find shit. He had never been good at finding gifts, the only person he gave them to was his dad and then again, it was only sometimes. The both of them weren't the type of people to worry about formalities such as Christmas or birthday presents. And when it came to "friends" it was about the same story.

Scholar put the phone down. It was stupid to worry over something like that. Being surrounded with rich, talented and sometimes famous people all day long Scholar swore to himself one thing. Don't be fake. Be sincere with those people. To be treated like anyone else is what they deserve.

And so Scholar searched for a gift idea again, but this time in his mind. He searched for an answer in his memories, through the small amount of time they had spent together. What does Axel like? It's not that hard. He already knew.

Scholar's mind was set: music, dogs and piercings. A hobby, an animal and accessories. Simple, but let's just go from the basics. "It's not like I can buy something expensive anyway..." His muttering was blocked out by his pillow, no matter what he would find, Scholar was just hoping that it would at least make Axel genuinely happy. Even just a little.

The next day went as expected: everyone was wishing Axel a happy birthday. He was getting occasional gifts from people he was close with and from people with whom he had never even talked to, or at least Scholar was pretty sure that he didn't. Even Tadashi went a bit soft on Axel.

"Not giving me detention for my late arrival today, Mister Student Body President?" Axel was over 15 minutes late which meant that he was deserving of a detention slip by usual à la Tadashi rules. "Go away before I change my mind you ugly ear-pierced clown." Axel was nodding and smirking all knowingly. "Uh-huh. Of course Sir, could I consider this lack of strictness towards me as my birthday present?"

Tadashi reached out for the detention form inside of his bag and took a pen in his hand ready to write Axel's name down and the reason why he got a detention slip. Axel backed away immediately. "Alright, alright! I'm sorry! Geez. Could you at least not threaten me with this shit on my birthday??" Tadashi put the pen back into his pencil case and smiled. "There you go. I knew you had some self-awareness behind your 3 kilograms of makeup and your millions of engagement rings you wear."

Axel frowned like a child. "I don't wear *that* many rings! Also, my makeup is super light!"

The rest of the day went on pretty smoothly, though Axel was probably wondering why Scholar didn't wish him a happy birthday. Whenever other people approached him to do so Axel would always peek at Scholar from the corner of his eye, as if to say: "See?! It's my birthday today..."

Scholar felt secretly super giddy because of that. Axel was totally waiting for it. After the last school hour of the day he even came towards Scholar ""to say hi."" "Hey, Scholar!" "Hey there."

Silence.

"Um. So. Don't you have anything to tell me?" "Nu-huh." "You sure?" "Yup." Silence again. Axel looked down in such an adorable manner that Scholar felt almost like he was murdering a puppy. "Hm. Okay... See you tomorrow?" Scholar smiled as sweetly as he could to hint to the fact that they would see eachother again today. "Of course. Bye!"

After trying to sound as chill as he could, Scholar hurried himself into town. Blindly looking for a gift might be a bad idea but it's often this way that we find the best ones. Scholar was relying on his luck and intuition, he was storming through every single shop until he came accross something a bit silly that could do the job. It was in a small shop named "lying tiger" with a lot of useless gadgets. It was simple, cheap and adorable. Hopefully Scholar's intuition was right.

Upon seeing the gates of the school getting closer and closer as he was walking towards it, he decided to pull off the fastest sprint of his life. If Murdoc had seen him he'd be impressed.

After a couple of minutes Scholar was standing in front of Axel's room. "Okay.... No wait."

It was 7pm and the sun was already gone from a long time ago since it *is* November. Scholar was sweating as if he just ran a marathon, which... He kinda did. He muttered again. "Ugh. Good job, Scholar. Why did you have the bright idea to make yourself smell like a horse before-"

Voices from the hallway were heard, a couple of girls coming his way. Damn it. Alright. Scholar decided to at least make himself look good before coming back, he changed his clothes into something more casual but also charming. A bit of deodorant here and there, some perfume and done!

This time around he was ready, if it wasn't for his stress kicking in that is. He suddenly didn't feel as confident in his gift as a couple of minutes ago. Well, it was too late to change it anyway. Scholar took a deep breath and knocked. He waited there without moving nor breathing. As if until Axel would get out of his room, time had stopped.

Suddenly, the door flew open. The moment their eyes met Axel mockingly smiled. "Oh? You finally decided to come and wish me a happy birthday? Haha." Scholar had kept his hands behind his back but when Axel said that, he instinctively moved them to his front, revealing the package he was holding. Axel stopped smiling and his eyes widened in surprise. "Oh." Scholar was already happy with that reaction alone, even if he was unsure on whether or not Axel would like the gift. For a second, this felt like it was enough. "Yeah. I couldn't wish you a happy birthday without giving you a present, could I? Happy birthday, birthday boy!"

Axel carefully took the box into his hands, really gently, as if he could break it just by pressing his palms on it. "Thank you! But geez, you didn't have to. I was worried the whole day, you know? I thought that maybe you were mad at me for something."

He said that while pouting, it was so cute and worth the trouble. Scholar didn't regret his sprint and the whole day lost searching for the gift. "Haha! Of course not. Oh but don't shake the box, you might kill it. Also hurry up and open it, the lil guy needs light." Axel blinked a few times before following Scholar's advice, he tried to open the package as quickly as possible without damaging the wrapping. Needless to say that he wasn't being really successful.

"What do you mean?! Don't tell me it's a hamster or something! You know that we can't keep pets in the dorms, right? Tadashi is *so* gonna kill me if-" It wasn't an animal. Not a real one at least. "A... A toy?" It was a little puppy playing an electric guitar.

"Yup. It has buttons on his back, when you push them the doggo plays sick riffs for you. It has also light effects on the guitar." Axel looked at the toy with admiration. As if that dog made of plastic was a real puppy.

"Oh. My god. A puppy. Playing the guitar for me?!? This is the cutest and most precious gift I have gotten today!" "You like it?" "Are you kidding?! I love it! I'm gonna practice the guitar with him from now on! He's gonna be my little guitar buddy!"

Scholar felt so proud. So damn proud. It was a good call. It made him think about the fact that children often receive useful gifts from the adults rather than fun ones. There was always a craving for a new toy in a kid's heart rather than the need to get a new backpack or clothes. Scholar believed that every teenager in the world still had a child inside of them who would always secretly pass in front of a toy store while ogling at it but being too embarrassed to enter and take a look.

"I'm glad, to be honest I was a bit worried about it. I mean, you probably received a lot of pricey and more useful things today." By the time Scholar had said that, Axel already took the plastic puppy out of the box. "Excuse me? You think that there is something greater in the world than a doggo playing a guitar? Pathetic. And like I told you I'm gonna practice with this guy!"

"Uh. Don't you practice in the auditorium? What will you do when other people will see you hanging out with a toy?" Axel let out the loudest gasp of his life. "How *dare* you call my friend a toy?? Have you even heard him play?"

Axel pushed the button and some light effects emerged from the toy along with a guitar riff, so skillfully played that he felt almost ashamed when comparing himself to the dog. "Holy shit. This dog is better at playing the guitar than me..." Scholar laughed cheerfully, his laugh was followed by Axel's adorable giggle. "Well, I'm happy you like it. This way whenever you play the guitar, hopefully you'll think about me for a bit."

Axel tried to pull off the most flirty expression he could, the kind of stare that couldn't be mistaken for anything else. "Bold of you to assume that I don't think about you everyday, sweetheart." He would've been so persuasive... if it wasn't for the doggo made of plastic he was holding. Scholar couldn't keep it in any longer and laughed again. Needless to say that he was surprised when he noticed that Axel looked a bit hurt. "... Axel?" "That's so mean. I'm really trying so hard but it never gets through to you, you know?" Scholar's heart dropped into his stomach. "What?"

He heard that right, didn't he? What Axel said just now. As for Axel, in a matter of milliseconds he was already back to his usual smiling self, regretting what he had said. "Oh, haha! Whoops, that came out really wrong. Don't worry, I'm not upset for real. Um..." The hallway went silent and Scholar was really anxious. He felt as if he effed up big time. He was about to apologize and get it out in the open. The fact that he was actually really mortified at the thought of Axel disliking the gift. The fact that he had a crush on him for a little while now. The fact that he was a dumbass when it came to taking hints because he thought that Axel was like this with everyone. But before he could, Axel spoke again. "Don't make that face, you didn't do anything wrong. Look, let's hang out together soon. Just the two of us. Deal?"

Scholar wasn't so sure about the "you didn't do anything wrong" part, since he just noticed that Axel was in fact trying to flirt with him for a while now and he was constantly brushing it off while thinking that it was just his imagination wanting his feelings to be reciprocated. Scholar gulped, unable to say anything else other than: "Of course! Whenever you want, I'll be there."

Axel slowly closed the door... and immediately felt like the hugest moron of human history.

Because he knew. He knew that Scholar would never play dumb with something like that, he just genuinely did not think that he, Axel, could ever like him in that way. But now he knew. Axel just spelled it out for him loud and clear. Next time they see eachother there won't be any doubts in the way. Axel fondly looked at the puppy in his hands. "If only your previous owner knew how to take hints... Well, there's no going back now."

Axel pushed the button again and listened to the puppy's incredible guitar riffs for a while. Even hours and hours later, before falling asleep, he still couldn't get the image of Scholar's astonished face out of his mind when he finally realized what Axel felt towards him. Axel grinned. This kind of expression had no subtlety to it at all. Axel swore to himself.

The next time they see eachother he'll tell him clearly what he thinks, no hints, no silly pick-up lines. And then they'll kiss for sure.

-----------------------------------------

Here it is! Sorry, the last part was so cheesy 😂. I apologize 🙏🙏 Most of this was written at 3am when I couldn't sleep, because obviously everybody knows that the best moment to write something is when you're supposed to be asleep /s

This has so many plot holes, like for example how is it possible that Karolina didn't beat Scholar's ass the next day for yelling in the middle of the night?? Or how come Tadashi was nice towards Axel for once? That's so OOC, absolutely impossible.

Anyway, Wikimedia is obviously Wikipedia and the "lying tiger" shop is actually "flying tiger" (Not sure if this shop exists in the US.)

Well, thank you for reading!

#sweet elite #se #axel #fanfiction #please don't be cringy #in a few weeks I'll regret posting this #watch me delete it like YOINK

31 notes · View notes