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alollinglaughingcat · 2 years

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Digimon Questionare

normally I don’t do these kinds of things but im just so... DIGIMON rn i cant NOT. Warrior Cats and Digimon are my Main Obsessions Always and like i can draw warrior cats but i cant draw Digimon cause Humans and Outlandish Monsters lol

anyway i made these all up

Favorite Over-all Character? Koichi Kimura!

Favorite Googlehead? Tagiru! I just like his spirit. I also really like Mikey, and how well they play his flaws, because Mikey’s a really genuinely good guy and great leader in ways that Tai and others aren’t, but it’s also Mikey’s flaw because he tries so hard to be good and to give to others that it’s shown to physically and mentally hurt himself, which is a really interesting route to go! ...I love how I talked more about Mikey than my actual favorite Tagiru lol. Idk, I just think Tagiru is Davis but better, and I like how fiery Tagiru is, plus his partner Gumdramon is awesome

Favorite Blue Bestie? ...Ken? He’s literally the only one that’s NOT blue lol. So if I had to pick an actually blue boy I’d say... Koji? Kiyoshiro is also a strong contender

Favorite Redeemed Evil? KOICHI! KIMURA! Can I just say HIS plot twist was the only one i NEVER EXPECTED??? And I can answer you why: I was so young watching the other Digimon seasons that I couldn’t remember my reaction to the plot twists and just knew them as facts, OR I was too old watching the other seasons that I predicted or just accepted the plot twists easily. BUT KOICHI’S???? I was just the perfect age of “can remember my reaction to this, but not old enough to theorize properly.” I remember when we first say Koichi on the train flashback, I thought it was Koji! I thought Koji got sent back too. So when I learned Duskmon (Koichi) was KOJI’S TWIN, I flipped my shit y’all! ALSO! Koichi is a dark lion how could I not love him lol.

Favorite Digimon? If I had to pick a ‘mon to be my partner: Gatomon, duh. But favorite digimon character? Probably Gumdramon for his backstory (wild child!) and personality, but Gammamon might potentially usurp him. Renamon and Impmon are some of my favs for their friendship though!

Favorite Partnership? Hm, Hiro and Gammamon for the big brother-little brother relationship? Or, Kiyoshiro and Jellymon just because they’re like the only male human-female Digimon pair and I like their dynamic. Really, I like any partnerships from Tamers or Ghost Game best; they feel the most natural, realistic and flesh-out in those seasons. Meiko and Meicoomon are an honorable mention

Favorite Series? GHOST GAME! It used to be Frontier, and Frontier will always have a special place in my heart, but Ghost Game is so freakin’ good. So, Ghost Game, then Frontier, then Hunters. I like the ones that are least liked lol. I like GG just cause of how polished and cool it is, but I love Frontier for nostalgic reasons plus the kids turning into Digimon was so unique and I loved its movie. Hunter just because I like the concept of ‘hunting’ the Digimon like theyre Pokemon lmao :)

Ranking the Series:

1. Ghost Game (will rewatch)

2. Frontier (won’t rewatch)

3. Hunters (rewatch some episodes)

4. Tamers (will rewatch)

5. Tri (will rewatch)

6. Adventure 02 (will rewatch)

7. Adventure (may rewatch)

8. Data Squad (won’t rewatch)

9. Fusion (rewatch some episodes)

10. X-Evolution (won’t rewatch)

11. Universe (no. just. no. never watched past 2 eps)

Subs or Dubs? Both. Both are good. I prefer watching dubs, though, and tend to stick to English names and such, but I’ve read enough Japanese names fics and obviously Hunter and Ghost Game only have subs, so I’m more than used to Japanese names and versions, and prefer it in some ways (Yuu > Ewan supremacy).

Favorite Ship? Oh, Daiken (Ken and Davis/Daisuke) hands down. You can’t even convince me they’re not gay with the “I can feel your beating heart” bullshit. Is this even a question? Other than them, I also really like “Ken crushing on TK bcus of when TK hit the Digimon Emperor” and also Tagiru X Yuu/Ewan! But also I’m very flexible in my ships lol. cause I also like Yuu x Airu. ALSO Tai x Sora x Matt supremacy! Digimon Tri really solidified and made me love the hell outta that polyam ship.

Favorite Headcanon? That Kari is asexual aromantic! She has no interest in guys (or gals) but feels pressured to. She really feared that her best friend TK would want to get with her and it would all be ruined, but unknown to her, TK was in a similar situation! He was aspec but thought he was pure straight, and was thus a serial dater and a bit of a “player” cause he couldn’t really keep a girlfriend due to having no real emotional attachment to them/fading interest and him always wanting to hang w/ Kari instead. He’s likely demi and only has feelings of attachment/romance for Kari, but he’s also possibly asexual, just uncertain. He and Kari end up as queerplatonic bf/gf! Kari gets the relief of always having her bestie with her without any pressure to be “romantic” or, to her absolute horror, sexual, and TK can feel secure and loved without worry <3

Favorite Digimon Fan-media? Obviously The Ultimate Gathering of the Digidestined is awesome, but its literally a crime if you’ve never read the comic Digimon Frontier Re-Birth. Literally @digimon-fr is the fucking best. as far as im concerned its canon and I love Geopardmon and Nachtmon, darkness babies

also just for fun I organized the groups some time ago:

Grouped by Series Adventure: Tai, Matt, Sora, Mimi, Joe, Izzy, TK, Kari, Davis, Yolei, Cody, Ken, Wallace, Meiko, Micheal Tamers: Takato, Rika, Henry, Jeri, Kazu, Kenta, Ryo, Ai, Mako, Suzie, Alice, Minami, Calumon Frontier: Takuya, Koji, Koichi, Zoe, JP, Tommy, Bokomon, Neemon, Teppei, Katsuharu, Chiaki, Terue, Angemon Data Squad: Marcus, Thomas, Yoshi, Kristy, Keenan, Relena, Sampson, Homer, Miki, Megumi Hunters: Mikey, Angie, Jeremy, Christopher, Nene, Ewan, Tagiru, Ryouma, Ren, Airu, Kiichi, Hideaki, Mizuki, Noboru, Haruki, Ken II Ghost Game: Hiro, Ruli, Kiyoshiro, BlackGatomon Uver, Tapirmon, Clockmon

Grouped by Ages (generalized) Old men: Sampson, Homer The gals (real adults): Yoshi, Megumi, Miki Baby adults: Joe, Marcus, Thomas Basically adults: Tai, Matt, Sora, Meiko Almost there: Mimi, Izzy, Micheal Stuck in the middle: Yolei, Ryo, JP, Kristy, Keenan, Relena, Mikey, Jeremy, Christopher, Nene Solid teens: TK, Kari, Davis, Ken, Wallace, Takato, Rika, Henry, Jeri, Kazu, Kenta, Alice, Takuya, Koji, Koichi, Zoe, Angie, Hideaki, Mizuki, Kiyoshiro Awkwardly teens: Minami, Ewan, Tagiru, Ryouma, Ren, Airu, Kiichi, Hiro, Ruli Pre-tweens: Cody, Tommy Literal babies: Ai, Mako, Suzie

Grouped by Animals Dinosaur/dragons: Tai, Davis, Takato, Ryo, Takuya, Marcus, Mikey, Christopher, Tagiru, Hiro Canines: Matt, Rika, Alice, Minami, Koji, Thomas, Angie, Ryouma, Hideaki Rabbits: Wallace, Henry, Suzie, Ruli Felines: Kari, Meiko, Jeri, Koichi Birds/plane: Sora, Yolei, Zoe, Kristy, Keenan, Nene Water creatures: Joe, Micheal, Kenta, Homer, Mizuki, Kiyoshiro Insects: Izzy, Ken, JP, Jeremy Plants: Mimi, Yoshi Miscellaneous animal: TK, Cody, Tommy, Sampson, Airu Miscellaneous other: Kazu, Ai, Mako, Miki, Megumi, Ewan, Ren, Kiichi

Grouped by Element Fire: Tai, Takato, Takuya, Marcus, Mikey, Tagiru Thunder: Izzy, Davis, JP, Kazu, Jeremy, Christopher Wind: Sora, Yolei, Zoe, Kristy, Keenan, Nene, Kiichi Water/Ice: Joe, Michael, Kenta, Tommy, Homer, Mizuki, Kiyoshiro Nature/Earth: Mimi, Cody, Yoshi Light: Matt, TK, Kari, Henry, Rika, Jeri, Minami, Koji, Thomas, Megumi, Sampson, Angie, Ewan, Ruli Darkness: Ken, Wallace, Meiko, Ryo, Suzie, Ai, Mako, Alice, Koichi, Miki, Ryouma, Ren, Airu, Hideaki All (eevee mode): Hiro

Grouped by Traits Goggle-head leaders: Tai, Davis, Takato, Takuya, Marcus, Mikey, Tagiru, Hiro Blue besties: Matt, Henry, Koji, Thomas, Christopher, Kiyoshiro Token girls: Sora, Mimi, Yolei, Rika, Zoe, Yoshi, Angie, Airu, Ruli Baby of the group: TK, Cody, Suzie, Ai, Mako, Tommy, Kristy OP self-inserts: Kari, Ryo, Alice, Meiko Evil turned good: Ken, Koichi, Keenan, Nene, Ewan, Ryouma The extras: Joe, Izzy, Jeri, Kazu, Kenta, Sampson, Megumi, Miki, Jeremy, Ren Background characters: Wallace, Michael, Minami, Homer, Relena, Kiichi, Hideaki, Mizuki

#i wuv digimon and i dont post abt it enough but its hard to find its community even though its like. big #i have written but never published/finished sO MANY DIGIMON FICS its not FUNNY #digimon #digimon frontier #digimon ghost games #digimon tamers #digimon crossover #digimon ghost game #digimon adventure #rant #ramble #random #not art #digimon questionare

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clulessmess · 2 years

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ohhhhhh my fucking god.

I need to get around to making that neocities.

EDIT: um. Ok. Accidentally Posted a vent mid typing

I dont feel like retyping any of that so ill just edit this in the morning since its getting late

So yeah here i go free write venting sawry <3

Just gettin them (unfinished) feelings out

fyi recently decided to check out what neocities is abt after hearing friends gushing abt it n after scrolling around sites I got hyped n decided to make my own neocities after I realized this could possibly solve all my problems sdhkhkfgd

first of all,

............. not to bring this up for the 7848234th time but. yeah Im still having spiraling thoughts abt my girl + the AU. Yes, as I said earlier the intensity of those spirals have died down significantly. but unfortunately its still there, at the back of my mind. and uh oh!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately theres days where it spikes!!!! and frankly brothers i cant take these thoughts anymore,, i need a place to get the fuck away from social media

I honestly feel thats the reason why I have these thoughts. I haaaate having to fucking overthink posting anything that could be percieved as cringe on my own fucking accounts to prevent the possibility that it could be the post could have me marked as a sort of “lolcow” or laughing stalk known to the internet. I haaaaate that when I have to talk to ppl, fuck even my own online friends, i haveta be walking eggshells via the irony mask and hide shit bc if i feel if i do i have justify my stance to not be seen as cringe!!!!!! I haaaaaaaaaate this fucking terminally online paranoia!!!!!!!!

and I know me saying “I need to get away from social media, im growing paralyzingly sick from my chronically online brainrot” and proceeding to still do this in an another online public space instead of just simply just stop posting abt Her + the AU and maybe even mass delete anything abt them if theyre doing nothing but causing me stress is a weird decision.... but ok.. hear me out

as a creative, the alternative (just mass deleting + stop posting) is just.....feels so alienating? Like we all crave..an audience??? idk how to fucking explain it but we all like the idea of at least a few ppl liking our stuff? And despite all this headache,,, i still care her 🥺

the thought that this thing I care abt, that I made with my own two hands, that I cannot ever show that to anyone.... thats devestating

I think the reason I keep spiraling is that I feel there is no safe space for me to post abt this. Perhaps specifically fear of the wrong type of ppl catching wind of it.

The current online landscape is fucking hell. Irony poisoned n the standards are so high, ppl will not put up with mediocrity or cringe and they will be LOUD and clear about that.

Not even tumblr is safe.

Neocities though, from what ive seen its the fucking safe haven for self indulgence. Its not uncommon for ppl to have these things called "shrines", a small subwebsite within a website commonly used to just like. Infodump abt whatever thing they like, often obscure and maybe a little "cringe" (i dont mean this to insult them but like. Yknow what i mean right)

Additionally, I wont have to worry about the Wrong People" finding out abt me and My Bullshit. Or most anyone discovering me and My Bullshit. Being into neocities is kinda a "niche", most ppl dont know anything abt neocities asides from programming nerds rlly nostalgic for the old days of the internet!

If anyone for whatever reads this made it this far... Yep. I finally actually went through with the decision of deleting any trace of her off both my tumblrs. I will no longer be talking about her on tumblr unless until this game releases.

Its the perfect place to hide her for now....

Besides, ive been let go of the only job my incompetent ass could ever do but probably still fucked up anyways. Think I need a fucking hobby that could maybe double as a skill so. Why not dust off what little programming stuff I know and expand upon in it in case my moms right and I cant rlly get my art career to pop off

Though... I guess the one downside for this is that while I hopefully wont be able to directly recieve hate about the AU...I dont think I will be able to recieve any possible love for it either.

As much as i hate to sound like some attentionwhore, and as much as i had a crippling fear of being found out by the Wrong People... there is a small inkling hope and..curiosity for people that might like it

Again, neocities isnt well known. The one upside to me posting my GLITCHED shit on tumblr is that this is prrobably? The only place where GLITCHED has an actual fanbase on tumblr, so i could like get engagement (ugh.... Hate phrasing it like that. Like im sort of numbers obsessed influencer. But i cant think of what else to call it. The possibility of the fans + the rare outsider interacting n being able to read nice or funny little notes), so I highly doubt anyone is going to think to click on the link to my Gina shrine since GLITCHED isnt well known either once I finish my neocities. Even if someone was curious enough to find my website + the shrine n wanted to express that they liked it, Neocities doesnt have a built in system where people can send messages to the creator.

I am going to post the link to my neocities, since well. I know that there is a small few who did like her (or just appreciated the passion i had).

#namii finally speaks #sorry. vent(?) time.#i hate ppl <3 #i changed my mind bros its both a rb acc + personal acc #im not sure if this'll happen often but if this shits annoying to u. u can unfollow i promise i wont mind #or just block vent and rant bc i promise u. once this neocities fully set up u will never hear my mopey ass ever again #vent #rant #i hate u the negative and maybe even traumatic effects that was the 2016 art community i hate u post 2010s online culture i hate u adults

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gayninjas · 3 years

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(1/2) Okay so I'm still new to Naruto so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Also, this is long. I'm sorry. I'll split it.😅

Out of the K12 kids, Naruto, Sasuke and Neji were fucked over by Konoha (either by their clans, the old man hokage or the villagers). I'd include Rock Lee but I think he was just bullied as a small kid for being... weird? or not having chakra?? And he worked super hard and that didn't last long.

Anyway, I've read plenty of reviews about how the series ended poorly and how messages like "you can change your fate" were disregarded. That the the Naruto franchise would've done better staying an actiony, ninja shonen that focused more on changing the shinobi system instead of turning into the forced romantic shojo that it became. I agree with all of that.

And I said that to say this, I really am disgusted with how things went for Naruto, Sasuke and Neji. Naruto doesn't receive any apologies from those who should give him one (like the villagers! I think the old hokage bastard died so.. no apology there I guess). Like, I know Iruka apologizes to him and I don't know why. I know Iruka was Naruto's first bond, what'd he and only him have to apologize for.

Not only that but Naruto just accepts everyone and then hides the fact that those in charge of Konoha planned the Uchiha massacre!!! (Does Sasuke know he's doing that?) It's ridiculous to just hide the genocide committed by the state (because he's patriotic? Wants to stick to the status quo as much as possible while trying to change things??). And it's somehow worse to hide it when you have this intensely close relationship with the lone survivor of that genocide.

Like, why write Naruto like that? To receive no actual closure (imo) on how he grew up in Konoha and tp make him a top tier bootlicker

included the second part of the ask

(2/2) With Sasuke, that genocide happened and he was just left to his own devices on the outskirts. And he's treated as a villian for justifiably wanting to "destroy" Konoha and wanting a revolution. It gets under my skin how much the K12 kids don't give a fuck about stuff like this. (I like all of them (except for 2) and stuff like this sours my opinion on them)

Not only is he treated as a villain, it appears that no one pay's for the Uchiha massacre (except for Itachi?) which is bullshit. It's just swept under the rug. And THEN Sasuke is written to become another Konoha bootlicker??! He has to go off on his own to atone for his sins? What!

And finally Neji. He died as he knew he would, for the main house family. I will hate that forever and always. His destiny didn't change. Little!Neji in the chunin exams exposing how fucked up the Hyuuga clan is, no one (except Naruto?) cares. He gave Hinata a chance to back out before he killed her, which was allowed, she didn't, he was about to end it and then 4 teachers(?) jump in to save her because, special treatment. Can't let the (former) Hyuuga heir die, she means more than the other kids.

And he was treated as an antagonist for being rightfully pissed off. But no, he just gets over it I guess after befriending Naruto, the Hyuuga clan continues with its slavery bullshit and he dies sacrificing himself for Hinata. What a way to go.

And I know they don't address the slavery Neji wanted to abolish in Boruto. They just ignore it and act like everything's fine and dandy. Naruto isn't one of those series where things just happen offscreen and we know it's cool, right? They can't just expect ppl to think the Hyuuga clan changed right? They don't even focus on them, Neji died and so did any relevance to the Hyuugas because Hinata doesn't do anything.

(Had Neji lived I know he also would've been turned into a major bootlicker too)

In conclusion I can't stand how these 3 boys were screwed over by the village in many ways and then screwed over by bad writing. It's irritating. I love Naruto but there's so many problems with it.

i tried to be concise, hope i covered everything!

I agree that if the Naruto franchise didn’t end off with lackluster romance plots and instead gave closure for all the things they left open ended after the end of the war it would have made a much better ending to the series.

Kishimoto had even admitted he had trouble writing romance in as he hadn’t ever planned on it. He never considered it that relevant so when they did include it, the whole thing felt so forced and awkward it was even kinda ooc for Naruto and Sasuke (scenes like narutos flat ‘im not in touch with my emotions’ reaction to hinatas confession that butchered his character were an absolute pain to sit through)

Nejis death being an awful plot devise to develop NH was a terrible move, like neji sacrificed himself for someone who moments later held narutos hand and went "his hands are warm"??

Don’t even wanna list anything I dislike about ss cause their marriage is so lifeless i feel dead thinking about it.

As for the villagers, they were happy to alienate a poor kid who couldn’t fend for himself and let him believe he was a demon and was deserving of it all but then started licking his boots when they realized they had the equivalent of a nuclear weapon desperate to protect them, and even then they weren’t remorseful of their actions, its all very sickening really,

I think the whole end of Naruto was handled in a way that went against the characters values? like I can easily imagine Naruto being rightfully enraged at the people who issued the massacre of hundreds of innocents, and he wouldn’t ever think of hiding anything like that, especially from the victim who was also his friend??.

How they wrote sasuke as someone who now fucking bows down and becomes a soldier for a village that destroyed him and has done nothing for him is just absolute bs. Although with sasuke, even if one argues his loyalty was for Naruto, the patriotic lines are just too much.

As for the rest, I don’t have much to say cause they never tried to understand why sasuke was doing what he did, they only saw a power hungry uchiha who was seeking revenge.

And yes nejis end was tragic for all the wrong reasons, i was more pissed than sad watching it. He was treated as a tool for nh and his anger at the hyuga clan and their issues was brushed off without much thought because the series never delved into it or resolved it.

And yes we got no real closure for the uchiha massacre, all the messed up things in the hyuga clan and the way Naruto was mistreated his whole life etc. Its aggravating how they expect us to believe its all fixed and fine now

I really do love the pre shippuden arcs like the zabuza and haku arc especially though. They were the peak naruto experience for me and are always the scenes I reminisce and often get nostalgic over.

#thanks for the ask anon #sharing my opinions and interpretations

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void-tiger · 3 years

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Tagged by @curiosity-killed (thanks for the tag!!)

roses or daisies:

DAISIES!!! They’re so simple and cheery have just as many colors and look delicate but are actually really tenacious? Also, how charming is Day’s Eye (and asters in general having the habit of facing eachother if they’re not turned towards the light--I think I have a picture of dahlias doing this from last autumn--and like. Star Flower. Okay, I’ll shut up now xD )

classical or lofi:

...okay so I admit I had to look this one up. But easily some of my favorite tracks are those Hidden Ones that bands plop onto their albums to fill up leftover space, but are often basically just scrapped recording or practice sessions? The bloopers and their creative process, basically. Cut to me googling and youtubing it and finding hiphop lofi and...yeah! Definitely Lofi.

(Classical vs OST and Modern Classical (that’s composed to be a lot more cinematic) just...really puts me on edge. It’s too mathematical...to put it nicely.)

So...yeah. Slow beats and something that sounds experimental or like a jamming session? It’s soothing and kinda ideal for background noise.

sunrises or sunsets:

Sunset. One, never ever gonna be a “morning person”. Forget it. Two, sunsets often have more dramatic colors and still make the landscape glow and you get to see stars peeping out vs fading. Also, y’know. I’m actually awake to appreciate it vs groggy and legit physically ill.

honey or lemon:

Honey as a condiment. Lemon for sweets flavor. (Baklava’s probably the exception...then again I haven’t had that many honey-flavored sweets, I guess? But Lemon-Poppyseed?? Definitely one of my favorites,)

coffee or tea:

Coffee. I adore tea service aesthetics and will someday probably collect them (especially the really quirky or earthen or blownglass ones vs the froufrou european ones)...buuuut, I just haven’t really had A Good Cuppa Tea much at all. There was this spiced tea I’ve had in Jordan that was AMAZING and I do like greentea (with...A LOT of sugar or honey...) but. I’ve just never really had tea. My family’s coffee drinkers, so the smell of coffee is nostalgic. (And yes, I’m basic enough that I prefer flavored, sweetened creamers; and my coffee brewed or spiced with, like, cinnamon and nutmeg, too. Or as a mocha.)

...I also have a Bad Habit of abandoning my Herbal “Teas” with the bags either left steeping too long (I have gotten better at using a timer) or while waiting for them to cool. And while I’d just really love it for Uncle Iroh to make me tea (provided he doesn’t get on my case about wanting sugar and maybe cream), the Times and Temperatures are just so dang fussy!! I...don’t think I have the patience for that.

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers:

Friends to Lovers. I just...don’t Get It with the sexual tension~ that seems to be the driving force behind enemies to lovers...I guess?? (That, and unless it’s literally on a battlefield, HARD PASS. I’ve had people try to blow off my complaints about getting repeatedly tormented as “he liiiiiikes you~” bullshit to ever be comfortable with it as anything but Legit Two Sides Of A Battle/Political Conflict. Sorry.)

But, Friends to Lovers? That Bond. And then the ...Oh. The domesticity and trust and safety. Also it is RIPE for Idiots to Lovers mutual pining xD

(bonus points if both parties decide ahead of time, “hey. even if dating doesn’t work out I still value your friendship in my life, so no pressure about ‘ruining things,’“ And then, of course, it does work out and there was nothing to be anxious about, after all.)

rainy days or sunny days:

...cop out but, overcast days with Soft Sunlight and Cloudbreaks?? I do like a clear skies sunny day, but, my eyes are also so sensitive to light that it can be painful. Rainy days can be soothing...but the rain has to be A Certain Way. Too heavy and with too much wind behind it and it can get me anxious. (My childhood home had Every Rain is Severe Weather...with no place to shelter. It’s gonna take awhile before i can appreciate it like i’d want.)

jupiter or mars:

Jupiter. GIANT. DEADLY. MARBLE (that wants to eeeaaat meeeee...) Also Pluto, and the jovian moons.

aphrodite or athena:

Athena!! She’s an ace icon, aight?? And also strikes me as...very, very Tired with everyone’s bullshit. Also...all the greek gods are kinda assholes. So. Yeah. She ain’t perfect and her characterization’s at the mercy of whatever myth in question, but generally she strikes me as practical and sensible and having Mercy...sometimes. As much as that group is capable of it, anyway...

rome or greece:

...probably Ancient Rome as a “ancient culture to explore but a YIKES (but. so is ancient greece.)” But visiting IRL in the present? Greece.

sun or moon:

Moon. I appreciate what the sun does and I do like feeling sunlight and all that...but, I’m also a night person. And I can look at the moon without risk of blindness and admire its corona and that rainbow corona you can see just a bit further out if you know where and how to look. BUT. The moon easily loses out to a starfield, especially if the light pollution and humidity are both low enough that ya get to actually see the milky way’s galaxy arm. (The irony that the sun IS our local star does not elude me.)

1920s or 1990s:

...neither?? 90s only slightly win out ‘cause I’m a ‘93 Kid and the 90s and 00s had some incredible toys and cartoons. And, idk. I still like overall pants and shorts. Always have. While a flapper dress would be “oooh pretty! starlight beading! Now OFF. Back to regular clothes for ‘Sporing or Comfy Lounging.”

blizzard or thunderstorm:

Blizzard. Also. Have you considered...thundersnow??

(Admittedly? I’ve also never been through a snowstorm that threatened by health&safety. The same cannot be said about thunderstorms when nearly every one could or would spawn tornados and severe straightline winds that could knock down trees and powerlines and sometimes even damage homes. While living in a home with NO safe place to shelter. Not even an interior closet or bathroom. NOT. FUN.)

midnight memories or made in the am:

...what?? [googles] ...OH...they’re...albums. UH. Neither?? (I don’t listen to them...?)

sage green or vanilla white:

Sage green. It’s kinda a nostalgic color somehow? Also. Just not a fan of monochrome...at all. I see it? I instantly want it to be a backdrop. Negative space. For COLOR. (jewel tones for whites/light neutrals and browns; NEONS for blacks and dark greys. Preference for Jewel Tones over Neons...wait. What was the question again??? OH YEAH..uh... I do like vanilla icecream? With rainbow sprinkles. Or...paired with hot fruit pie or cobbler. Or cookies. Um...yeah I should prolly shutup now. xD )

folklore or lover:

...I don’t...understand??? But...I like Folkslore as in...folklore??? Fairytales, Legends, Myths... (also, so frikkin ace I’m just. not ever gonna pick “lover”)

croissant or macaroon:

...why would you do this to me. I make a beeline for croissants because...Soft Flaky Buttery Bread. And they are So Good as a savory sandwich sorta thing. Easily better than english muffins or crumpets, tho biscuits have a fighting chance. But LIKE. Soft breads. My weakness as a kid.

...but a good macaroon?? It is so light and crisp and TINY and like?? how does it taste like coffee??? and berries????? (Too bad they are So EXPENSIVE. While even cheap croissants are almost always Good.)

ballgowns or pantsuits:

I like the aesthetics of a ballgown. But never the pricetag, I wouldn’t wanna live in that thing for more than an hour, tops (and. so much damn work!!) and I’m stuck looking at them Defying (boob) Physics and just...dying a little inside. With my rare It Pretty Want Pretty wilting with it. But...it’s rare that pantsuits really...look like anything. (They also look uncomfortable and yet another Wardrobe Disaster and Do I HAVE To??? if I think about...actually wearing them. But, Legs Free No Tripping...I guess??)

hades or zeus:

I only wanna EVER meet Zeus if I get to castrate the bastard and lock ‘im up where he’ll NEVER get back out. Hades, tho...I’m WATCHING you, Bub. (Why yes, I agree with Demeter on this one.)

platonic love or sensual love:

Platonic. Cuddling and Kissing are technically Sensual but, y’know what? They ain’t exclusive to sexual or romantic loves (and I just. really do not want kissing at all. MAYBE a quick kiss on the forehead or fingertips but LIKE. That’s it. And it’s cute af for...literally ANY Love Type.)

light academia or cottagecore:

Honestly? A mix between the two. Cottagecore with my charming little home with its overgrown flowerbed of wildflowers (and asters! All the asters) and produce grown in large pots or hanging baskets...and inside the walls are covered with overflowing shelves of books and knicknacks and other Neat Things. Oh, and naturally a tea service (might not actually have tea in it...) and tons of pillows and blankets, and lamps and lanterns Everywhere for warm and soft (and colorful) light to read by while music plays softly in the background. And the home smells like something I just made for Supper or Snacks, or like a food-scented candle.

Aaaaaand tagging @mckinlily @headspacedad @aairachnid @synergetic-prose and whoever else wants to play! No obligation to play if tagged.

#tagged meme #tiger’s musings #long post

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diziar · 5 years

Text

The end of a Legend: part 2

Guess who is back on her bullshit writing fucking sad shit for the modern AU! If you dont remember part one here it is, go read it first before this part

Once again this deals with very real and depressing situations and Im so sorry if you’ve had to deal with anything like this before. This is based loosely off of my own feelings.

“Legend? Oi, Legend?!”

He hadn't moved from that seat next to his uncle's bed. He still held tightly onto his hand, never wanting to let go as he knew it would be the last time. Soon he would have have to leave, discuss whatever was needing to be discussed and then go home to the empty house so full of memories.

Not yet.

He couldn't.

“Legend! What the fuck, dude?”

He held his phone in his other hand, rested on his lap, the muffled voice coming from there but still sounding so pissed off. Finally he managed to tear his watery and blurred gaze away from his uncles face, inhaling a shaky breath and sniffling his runny nose, and looked down to the device that was lit up.

“Legend, what the fuck is all that noise? I can-”

More quickly than any movement he could even register to make in his emotionally dulled and mentally exhausted brain, he brought the phone to his ear and cleared his throat from any signs of a wavering voice.

“Sorry, I must've accidentally rang you. I would never do something like that on purpose.” Even when feeling so down, the sound of his friends stupid voice still managed to pull a quip out of him. He was glad his voice hadn't broken or cracked though, last thing he needed right now was to break down again.

“Did you butt dial me? I am not your booty call!” Warriors scoffed dramatically over the phone, causing Legend to roll his achy eyes, wiping them with a tissue afterwards.

“Even if you were the last person on Earth, you would still never be my booty call, Warriors.” Legend retorted, squeezing his uncle's hand one last time before standing up and grabbing his bag to sling back onto his shoulder.

He still felt awful, absolutely dreadful, torn apart in every which way and it was only because of Warriors’ insistent need of constant attention - being the reason he probably hadn't hung up the phone after the first minute or so after hearing nothing but silence from the other side - that Legend was able to hold it together at this very moment.

Finally he stepped out from behind the curtain, giving one last look back to the man in the bed, the only part of him on show from under the blanket were his head and hand, both of which Legend could still feel in his grip. He swallowed thickly, his head drooping as he let the curtain fall close again

“Mr Goldsmith? Link?..” One of the nurses from before walked up to him calling out to him several times, obviously still giving him some space but with the intention to continue the conversation elsewhere.

“Yeah? Sorry.” He pulled the phone away from his ear, turning his attention to the nurse and then back to the phone call. “I gotta go, Warriors. I'll see you and that ugly scarf of yours at school on Monday.”

“Wait wait wait, hold up there. You called me and now you're hanging up on me? No way. Anyways, what's up? You sound and looked like shit today, and did I just hear someone refer to you as Mr. Goldsmith? Where are you right now?” Of course there was no way Warrior was going to let this go right now.

Legend felt his throat close up again and suddenly everything had just struck him again all his quickly. Everything that had just happened. The day and night before.

He was being dragged under the waves of despair again and he felt sick. The tears returned to his eyes, hot and big, already causing blurring in his vision.

As hard as he tried to hold on strong on the phone, he couldn't hold back the sniffle and the wavering in his voice.

“Yeah… yeah. I really need to go, I I have better things to be doing than talking to you on the phone right now.” It wasn't the first, nor would it be the last time, that Legend avoided answering on of Warriors questions.

Guilt washed over him in heavy waves, dragging him under the sea of anguish. He couldn't do this. No matter how much he tried to keep his head above the water, he was pulled back down by the ever lingering feeling

'I should've stayed at home.’

‘I left him alone to suffer.’

'He must have been so terrified. He died alone and scared, and I…’

“Legend, where are you right now?” Warriors tone was strong and true, and it was evidently clear that he wasn't going to let up. He was going to get his answer from his friend.

Legend couldn't tell whether he hated it or appreciated it.

'Why did I not stay with him?’

'He needed me by his side.’

'I shouldn't have listened to him…’

The nurse had given him some tissues once again as he took a seat further down the hall, giving him a few more moments alone in his phone before they had to discuss what came next. Silence permeated the air between him and Warriors through the phone, and he shook his head forgetting that the motion couldn't be seen.

“Legend-”

“I'm at the hospital…” Admitting the words out loud made him feel light headed. Made him feel weak. It was like another heavy rock stacked upon the others already on his chest, the pressure making it impossibly hard to breathe.

Soon enough he'd be completely crushed under all the weight.

All of what he was, had been, and ever would be, was stripped to the bare minimum, to the very core of everything.

All too suddenly had the strong feeling he hadn't felt in some time returned.

In some way it was nostalgic.

In another, haunting.

A bittersweet memory that made him feel sick to his stomach.

Loneliness.

But he was never alone when she was around… A part of him could even swear he could hear the faint sound of singing somewhere in the back of his mind.

A melancholic melody, and as he closed his fist he could almost feel the familiar feeling of ceramic brush against the tips of his fingers...

“Hey? Hey! Are you still there? Is everything okay? Why are you at the hospital? Are they back? Have you not been taking your-”

“I'm fine.” A lie. One that tore itself up from the ground and wrapped itself so thoroughly around him.

His uncle wasn't fine.

He wasn't fine either.

“Oh come on, I can smell your bullshit from here. I'm going to come over there and meet you.”

“NO!-” The outburst caught him by surprise, and judging from the silence from the other side of the phone, it surprised Warriors as well. “I mean, there's no point is there? You refuse to come inside and I don't know how long I'll be. You'll just be waiting outside”

He could just feel Warriors physically recoiling, the detest and disgust all over his face as he would have grimaced at the prospect of entering the hospital.

Legend heard Warriors sigh, and then his voice started to echo as he could only assume he had been put on loudspeaker, the rummaging and noises from the other side giving it away.

“Yeah yeah, you're so right, as fucking always. I won't go inside, but I can still wait outside for you to come out.” It wasn't often that Warriors legitimately sounded so pressed and fed up. Obviously what Legend had said has ruffled his feathers just a little bit.

Legend couldn't help but the the intrusive thoughts return to him as only the sound of Warriors sorting himself out registered in his brain. For what seemed like too long did the quiet and tense feeling settle between every crack and joint in his bones, and behind his eyes as once he felt the tears fill his vision once again and to fall down his face as he blinked. No matter how hard he tried to wipe them away, more would follow and his entire body started to shake as his breathing became more erratic.

Still, he stayed silent.

The realisation that even though he was on the phone to someone, he could hear them and they could hear them, he was alone. Just down the corridor did his carer, uncle, and father lay dead.

There was no one left.

Maybe…

If he…

He could still see-

“I'm going to leave now, which building are you in?”

Once again Warriors voice brought Legend out from his nightmarish thoughts. He wasn't a child anymore, he wasn't about to let a small thing make him freak out again, even if her soft voice echoed in his ears.

He was better now.

Legend cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and wiped his face again with the sleeve of his school blazer. He couldn't use anymore tissues, whilst they were soft, his eyes ached and nose stung. No more.

“Main building, east exit.” He couldn't see it, but he could just feel Warriors nodding in confirmation. More noise from Warriors side, and the brief pause allowed Legend to attempt to calm himself down again.

If he had been mentally, emotionally, and physically tired before, he was now exhausted. Every small movement ached and thinking of words for simple conversation was draining. Sleep was something he wanted, but he was well aware it wouldn't come for some time yet.

And even if his body was begging for sleep, his brain wouldn't allow it.

“Legend?”

All he could manage was a small hum in response, though after a few moments of Warriors not saying anything, he sighed and tried again.

It was an effort.

“What?”

“Will you tell me what's going on?”

“Piss off! ..I'm hanging up now.”

Before Warriors could get another word in, Legend had taken the phone away from his ear, hung up, and lowered it back to his lap next to the box of tissues.

Just a few minutes and he'd be okay.

He had to be okay.

There was still so much to do.

By some sort of foolish mistake, or by some lapse in concentration and planning, Legend had forgotten to check the time before he had started talking to the nurses about what was to happen with his uncle next.

In all honesty he couldn't remember much of the conversation, but he could recall then mentioning the morgue, and he'd briefly mentioned that there was no way he could afford a funeral - at least not currently.

Maybe by some sort of miracle, but he doubted it.

And what would happen if he couldn't hold a funeral for his uncle? That was the chance for the final goodbye…

When finally he left the hospital it was darker and cooler out that it had been when he had first entered after school. Still in his uniform and bag slung over his shoulder, Legend could feel every muscle screaming out in agony at him.

Whilst it had definitely hadn't been a very physical day; the constant switch of emotions, from being so hopeful that morning to bathing in despair just that evening, the lack of sleep before, and constant dreary thoughts inside of his head made him feel like he had aged.

All within one day.

24 hours.

1440 minutes.

86400 seconds.

His entire life had changed, and he had no one to ask for help.

No one to give him the answers he needed in the hard times.

The only man he could call family...

The only person who knew the true him, the real him behind the many walls he had erected over the years, who knew the young helpless and lonely boy and always tried his best and helped in any small way that was possible, was gone.

Gone forever.

“Hey Legend! Oh Hylia, you look like shit.”

The immediate reaction from Legend upon hearing Warriors voice was to groan, sigh, and roll his eyes. It hasn't even been a conscious thought or action in his brain, but he had done it.

At least after everything his brain was still awake enough for that.

He turned to face his friend, and tucked his hands into the pockets of his blazer. There stood Warriors in all his “glory” long blue scarf and all. Though Legend wasn't sure if it was because of how tired he was or because the evening was actually slightly chilly, but he was cold and envious of such a thing at that moment.

“Wow, good to see you too, you piece of shit,” he approached the other, kicking him in him back on the leg to emphasise his irritated response, “You look like shit too. But then again you always do, so nothing new there.”

Warriors wasn't blind, he could easily spot the puffiness of Legends eyes, and the redness of them and his nose. Everything about him looked messed up, from his hair to his face, uniform, and even his general demeanour.

For whatever reason that had Legend looking like death incarnate and visiting the hospital, Warriors couldn't even begin to guess.

He liked to think he knew Legend relatively well, all things considered. Both of them had their secrets, things which they found hard to share with anything excluding family, but they also knew some of each others deepest worries and fears too.

Warriors glanced from Legend and then to the hospital doors and back. Several times did he do this, the puzzle pieces in his head not fitting together no matter how hard he tried. There was too many things that it could, and couldn't have been, that there was no making any heads or tails.

He stopped upon hearing the heavy sigh escape from his friend, taking it as a hint to stop, get moving, but also as sign of the very evident fatigue Legend was feeling.

“Hey, you sure everything is okay?”

Legend's eyes rolled once again, his feet moving one in front of the other as he began to walk away and leave both Warriors and hopefully the awful memories and thoughts that the hospital had brought out of him.

Warriors huffed out in annoyance, but within a few quick and large strides, he had caught up to Legend and walked by his side as they headed back towards the centre of the city.

“If it's about… well you know who and what-”

“It's not.”

Legend's reply was curt and he had technically interrupted Warriors, but Legend was obviously not in the mood to be discussing such a thing right now.

The evening breeze was gentle, like that on a summer's day at the beach. Again, from someone, somewhere, he could hear and familiar tune.

One that told a story of a young boy and his friend.

And also told a story of loneliness.

With his uncle gone, that familiar loneliness tugged heavy at his heart, and it hurt.

It cut deeply into both pleasant and unpleasant memories.

Another sigh, one that held the weight of the world in it, and judging from Legend's wilted posture, he seemed to carry the weight of the whole world on his shoulder as well.

A somewhat comfortable uncomfortable feeling settles over the two of them as they continued walking on wards for several minutes with no more words between then.

It was Legend who spoke up first.

“It was my uncle.”

His voice carried no evident emotion, but it was the things that weren't said or obvious which made things click into place more.

Warriors was stunned silent for a few seconds, all previous assumptions flying out of his head and new ones nestling their way in immediately.

If it was Legend's uncle, and he was acting like this…

It couldn't have been good news.

“Oh shit shit shit! What happened? Is he okay?”

The silence spoke volumes.

He stopped walking, his foot under him refusing to take another step as the news settled in.

Laughter bubbled out from deep within him, and he was only too aware of how unfitting it was for moment like this but it was the only thing he managed to do.

Legend stopped walking just in front of him, his shoulder shaking slightly, his hands clenched tightly into fists either side of him and his head hung long.

“Fuck... FUCK! Legend, why didn't you say anything?!”

When he didn't reply, Warriors found it within himself to finally move again, making fully well sure that he stormed just ahead of Legend and stood before him.

It was a times like this when the height difference was obvious, but that was not what Warriors was focusing on.

Instead all he could focus on was how Legend refused to look up, how his shaking arms and hands hid his face, and his erratic breathing.

He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again when he realised he was speechless.

He could remember helping Wind and Aryll after their parents died, but he was their big brother - adopted or not - but how was he supposed to help Legend?

“When?”

Somehow that one simple word, that one simple question had both pushed Legend off over the edge, and also grounded him.

Still, he refused to lift his head up, but his hands dropped down to his side in defeat.

“An hour ago? It was just after before call…” The realisation hit Warriors like a tonne of bricks. He had been wondering why Legend had called him and then proceeded to blank him for a few minutes until he finally answered.

“Warriors, I don't know what to do. Gods! I can't believe I'm even talking to you about this, but I can't go home… I can't. Hi-his stuff is all still there on the side and-” Legend cut himself off, obviously not wanting to go into detail.

“I can't the fucking thought out of my head that whilst I was eating dinner at yours, playing happy families, that he was at home alone suffering.”

“Hey, hey. Stop that! You can come back to mine tonight, the Fisher's would be happy to have you in their humble abode. And it's the weekend so there's no rush about going back home-”

“I don't have my meds.”

“Do you think you won't be okay without them for a few days?”

He stayed quiet.

Once again the familiar tune and soft singing voice filled his head.

Legend shook his head again, and his leg began to twitch in a restless way, his hands once again clenching and unclenching like he was trying to hold onto something.

Warriors began walking again, stopping when Legend didn't follow him at first but then resumed once they were side by side again.

“It's going to be okay-”

“No, it's not. Gods, you're a fucking idiot aren't you?”

“I'm sorry? Who was it that scored higher on the last test?”

“You cheated!”

Warriors gritted his teeth as another swift kick was delivered to his shin, but just as quickly did he return it and then ran up ahead to avoid getting struck again.

Somewhere deep inside, Legend begged for the tune to both stop and to continue.

He liked the familiarity it gave him. How it made him remember her and what she taught him.

But it also made him remember him and once again did he feel himself getting lost at sea in a small boat during a storm.

And this time he wasn't going to be there to save him.

He had no idea how he was going to cope after all of this.

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #linked universe au #linkeduniverse au

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midnight-circus · 5 years

Text

another bullshit meme

from sidebloggable

answered for logan and lucius bc i dont talk about my big dumb idiot enough

and im actually gonna answer for their original Fable timeline bc ive been feelin nostalgic recently

Their physical weak spots

Logan - depends on his age and/or stress-levels. He has a fair amount of upper body strength from swinging twin swords around all the fucking time, but it wouldn’t be ridiculously hard to overpower him if you could disarm and get hold of him - however, he’s fast, agile and extremely skilled, and it’s getting hold of him in the first place that’s the issue. In the middle of his reign, on the other hand, his body condition takes a dramatic dive - he’s pretty severely underweight and loses a lot of his muscle tone, and it really wouldn’t take much at all to best him.

Lucius - Lucius is a big, heavy mercenary who fights with a broadsword, so it’s hard to get the best of him in a one-to-one melee fight. However, he’s missing his left eye and is deaf in his left ear - subsequently if you use a little bit of stealth and come at him hard and fast from the left, you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the jump on him. He’s also into middle-age and despite having decent reactions, a younger man of the same build as him might just pip him to the post.

Their emotional/moral weak spots

Logan - oh god lmao. Logan’s a mess, but his primary emotional weak spot is his siblings - be they his original two (hey queenie and dorian) or Morgan. I think he feels a bond that’s closer to paternal than fraternal, and I think the only way he can really justify to himself the pain he puts them through is telling himself he’s doing it for them. ok honestly, he will do fucking anything for them. at the climax of the revolution, the primary thought running through his head is how fucking proud he is. be nice if he said it out loud every once a while - hell, itd be nice if he’d just asked for some fuckin help before causing the literal death of hundreds of people - but yknow. thats just going one step too far i guess

Lucius - he’s a bleeding heart. when Morgan and his little band of rebels rock up in the Dweller village, Lucius is already there running supplies up and down the mountain to them; he watches way too many kids starve to death, and joins up with the rebels in order to lead them through Mourningwood. then he gets a crush on morgan’s little bitch face and just like. never leaves lmao. He’s easily blinded by injustice and gets worked up really quickly when he sees wrong being done - it can lead him to act recklessly or thoughtlessly at times.

Scars or painful spots

Logan - asides from the obvious scars across his lips (fencing wounds when he was a boy), he took some nasty damage from the Crawler during the three days he was trapped in the Auroran cave - he’s got a network of scars on his back that look a little like lashmarks. they hurt when they’re touched and he Does Not talk about them. he’s also got a few other scars here and there on his arms and chest from miscellaneous scraps and scuffles, and he has a deep puncture scar on his abdomen from an assassination attempt, but the less said about those the better.

Lucius - lmao Lucius is literally missing half his face to scar-tissue. he was attacked by a dog as a boy and it left him heavily messed-up. he’s also a merc, as i said, so he’s got a lot of miscellaneous old wounds but nothing quite as obvious as the ones his face.

Best places to kiss on their body

Logan - oh, the neck, bitch. he’s also kind of a slut for being kissed on the insides of his wrists; anywhere vulnerable, basically. if you could kill him there, kiss him there. freak-ass bitch.

Lucius - dude just likes a nice traditional french kiss man nothing crazy. but also definitely give him a blowjob. i know this question said kissing but lets be real thats kind of a kiss.

Guilty pleasures

Logan - he reads really terrible novels. like…really terrible. he pretends he’s reading something highbrow and intellectual but its actually a shitty romance recovered with something suitably acceptable and nobody can know

Lucius - he doesnt have any ‘guilty’ pleasures tbh, he just enjoys stuff unashamedly. he’s too thick to feel guilty

Their vices (physical or emotional)

Logan - lets be real, he’s probably done, like. an impressive amount of coke. i guess the terrible sleeping and eating habits are probably also a vice but like. it’s mainly the coke

Lucius - he smokes like a fuckin chimney

Their tickle spots

Logan - not only does he not have any, but you would also die for trying. Elrick disagrees.

Lucius - his ribs, but he is uncontrollably violent when he’s tickled so its a real good way to get a broken nose. he doesn’t mean to do it, he just spasms.

Bad memories/experiences

Logan - lmao. I’ll skip the most obvious (the 3-Day Auroran Extravaganza) because i think that goes without saying - it left him with crippling PTSD and damaged his mind heavily and insidiously. he was already pretty traumatised by his childhood and i think being forced into so many responsibilities so young also messed him up a little. it’s more like….rather one one or two specific experiences, its more just a general feeling of Bad that has stuck with him throughout his life. It was worsened by his later experiences, and essentially primed him for failure.

Lucius - yknow i was thinking about how to word the answer to this question and i realised that i accidentally made Lucius into Batman. His family farm was attacked and burnt to the ground by bandits when he was about 12; his parents and siblings were killed, and he only escaped by hiding in the coal-cellar. Later, he joined up with the mercenaries to try and track down the group that targeted them. fuck hes batman. i didnt mean to batman

Humiliating memories

Logan - oh man his father was a pro at humiliation. mistakes or oversights werent just punished, they were fuckin learned from, and he figured the best way to do this was humiliation - generally through public displays of What You Did Wrong and repeated recitations of the mistake in front of the people whose opinions Logan valued. It was kind of the catalyst for his inferiority complex and intense desire to succeed without input from others.

Lucius - again, Lucius doesn’t really experience embarrassment - he’s kind of too laid-back for it. yes, it was embarrassing the one time he fell over carrying two milk buckets and threw them all over himself in front of the handsome boy from the next farm over and the guy started laughing at him but like. you live and learn and the dude turned out to have a really ugly laugh anyway so who cares

Fears/phobias

Logan - he’s always had claustrophobia, but after the Auroran Experience this intensifies to a whole new level, and he also develops crippling nyctophobia. part of this is due to his hallucinatory psychosis - he sees things pretty much constantly, but it worsens in low lighting - but it’s also due to the fact that there may very well be actual Things in the dark and he struggles to tell reality from hallucination

Lucius - dogs. fuckin dogs. he hates dogs theyre literally so scary even the small ones bc the small ones move so quick and you never know when theyre gonna come at you

Bad or petty habits

Logan - oh, he’s just a petty bitch. he’s also outwardly arrogant, even if his internal feelings don’t match up to that. drily sarcastic, too, tho a person only really sees that when they get past the walls he throws up - Elrick is very familiar with it.

Lucius - he’s constantly standing to the right-hand side of people and then he wonders why he cant hear them properly

Grudges and vendettas

Logan - he’d hold a grudge against his father if he wasnt dead. he also holds a pretty heavy grudge against Theresa for not just fucking telling him.

Lucius - at first, only against the bandits that killed his family, but once he deals with them hes kind of at a loss as to where to go next. fortunately Logan starts starving people shortly afterwards, so if nothing else it gives him a kickstart into the rest of his life. Subsequently, Lucius will hold a vendetta against Logan for the rest of his life, even after he has been in a relationship with Morgan for years - he will never forgive him for the shit he put the common people through, and he doesnt really give a shit about the ~pressures~ Logan was under at the time. fuckin excuses, man.

Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Logan - his terrible sleeping/eating patterns. even before trauma and night-terrors made it almost impossible for him to sleep peacefully, he didn’t get more than 5 or 6 hours a night, if that.

Lucius - if something is smaller than him, he’ll protect it. he’ll also protect things bigger than him, if given half the chance. hes basically a golden retriever in human form, which is ironic considering his feelings about dogs.

What it takes to make them cry

Logan - would rather die than cry, quite literally.

Lucius - his heart is softer than butter, he’ll cry at anything. he’ll cry at an injured pigeon on the street.

Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

Logan - never, ever, ever talks about what happened in Aurora. The details die with him.

Lucius - he doesn’t really have any - he’s not ashamed of much in his life, and he’s never done anything terrible enough to render it a skeleton.

People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

Logan - L M A O. yes, it affected him terribly, but tbqh however much its affected him kind of plays second fiddle to how much his actions affected other people.

Lucius - has killed a lot of people who deserved it during his mercenary years, and justifies it to himself by being absolutely certain that they did deserve it. sometimes he doubts this, though, and that doubt plays a big part in his eventually getting out of the game entirely

People who’ve influenced them greatly

Logan - Walter, tho he’ll never admit it in a million years and he still definitely kneecapped him right at the start of the game so idk what that says about him

Lucius - Morgan. it’s real gay, i know, but there it is.

#logan1 #lucius1

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queen-of-deans-booty · 7 years

Text

Arms

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam (mentioned)

Word Count: 1085 (including lyrics)

Warnings: this is so fluffy. Flufy Dean is the best, in my opinion.

Request: Hi! I don't know if you do songfics, but if you do could I get a Dean x Reader from dean's povbased on the song "Arms" by Christina Perrie where he wakes up next to y/n and realized how much she means to him. And for whatever reason I want the line "I told her that I would catch her but really I was the one falling." . Thank you!

Author’s Note: This is in Dean’s POV. If you want to be tagged, leave an ask or message and I’ll add you! Same goes for my Series Rewrite! If you want to request a fic, please send them in! I love writing what you guys want!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

All through my life, I was the one to take care of others. I would take care of my brother when my dad wasn’t around or I would take care of innocent people when they were in danger. I didn’t really have any regards for my feelings until I met her.

All throughout my life, I never thought that anyone would be so stupid as to love me for who I am. I am a terrible person, I always let everyone down and people who know me end up dying or worse. I am damaged goods and I thought everyone could see it. Well, everyone except her.

When I met Y/N, I let my walls down so fast, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t see a good future for myself until she came into it. Now, all I can see is her and how happy she makes me. I don’t deserve any kind of happiness but I feel like if I try my best, I will deserve at least half of her love.

She swept me off my feet without even knowing it.

You put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go You put your arms around me and I’m home

As I stare at her beautiful face, I can’t help but think out of all the bad I’ve done in my life, this is my making up for it. She saw through all the flaws I had and chose to see the light shining through this mass of darkness.

Sometimes, I get to thinking it might even be easier if she let me go instead of loving me. I thank whoever is listening that she stuck around and showed me that I’m not all that terrible. She is the light in my life and I never wanted her to let me go.

Her arms wrap around my waist as she slept and I realize that no matter where we are or what we are facing, she is my home.

I haven’t had a home in a while.

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around? I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me ‘cause I’m already falling I’ll never let our love get so close You put your arms around me and I’m home

Just like any relationship, there are ups and there are downs. There have been plenty of downs for Y/N and I, but no matter how many times she has caught me drinking my feelings down, talking about how it’s better if we aren’t together because I’ll end up hurting her, she never lets me go.

She is the only one that has been able to bring me back even from my darker days and I have had a lot of those lately.

Sometimes, I can’t decide if I’d rather just drown than have her save me from it.

No matter how much bullshit I throw her way, she has always seen right through me, knowing exactly how I was feeling and that was hard to do. I have mastered the art of hiding my feelings but with her, that rule didn’t apply to her.

She was falling for me hard but it was I that was falling the hardest. I told her that I would catch her but really, I was the one falling.

She had no idea what she was really doing to me.

I feel the safest when I was in her arms and it should be the other way around but it wasn’t.

The world is coming down on me and I can’t find a reason to be loved I never wanna leave you but I can’t make you bleed if I’m alone

You put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go

I always feel like there isn’t anything good in this world. My life is a train wreck because there is always something shitty going on in it, always bringing me down to places I never thought I could reach.

Why would anyone love me? Have you met me?

But then I met her and she showed me that there were things about me that I never knew were loveable.

It really should be me showing her how much I love her because she deserves the world that I can’t give to her but it wasn’t like that. She knew what she was getting into when she met me. She knew that there was a price to pay for loving me but she took that jump anyway.

I still believe it’s easier if she let me go but she was very stubborn.

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth And I’ve never opened up I’ve never truly loved till you put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go

What was hanging over my head was pure darkness and I tried to keep her from seeing that. She was so pure and innocent, I didn’t want to taint her from being with me but she snuck her way in like a serpent.

There have been women to come and go, a ton of one night stands that meant nothing to me. There have been times where I have been with a girl a little longer than what I normally go for but even then, it never was enough.

I’ve never opened up to anyone like I open up to her. I’ve never truly loved another person, besides Sam, until she put her arms around me and that is when I knew I couldn’t let her leave.

She made me feel safe.

She made me feel human.

She made me feel things I never thought I would get to feel.

I finally had a home and it was the best feeling in the entire world.

I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me, ‘cause I’m already falling I’ll never let our love get so close You put your arms me and I’m home

You put your arms around me and I’m home.

Forever tags:

@im-not-an-angel-of-the-lord @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @innernightwerewolf @wishedworld @justanotherdeangirl @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @crispychrissy

Dean tags:

@akshi8278 @winchesterandpie @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spn-applepie-imagines @tahbehonest

Other tags:

@notnaturalanahi @27bmm

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ottovio · 4 years

Text

might just start journalling here.. i dont really have many ppl here who know me in real life. maybe just like 2, who i trust w my life.

anyways, i just finished watching an a24 film called waves. literally one of the best movies ever made. the soundtrack is impeccable. they got motherfuckin frank ocean bruh. i love anything w frank ocean. my wish for my birthday this year is so frank can release his album that i know he has been working on. i think thats just the present update that i have

in all honesty, ive been really nostalgic the past couple days. i keep looking back on the photos and videos. god, it was honestly pure love. i can see it in both of our eyes in all the pictures. loud genuine laughs. showing each other our vulnerable side and not being afraid in showing our weird goofy side. it was honestly, so perfect. i know something that perfect would never work out that easy. a part of me feels like we need this space; this hurdle to get through before we can get together again. not really sure if that just my conscience trying to cling on the last hope of a possible “us”.

but the universe just don’t let you just meet someone with that kind of connection for just something that doesn’t blossom into something greater. i refuse to believe that some people are meant to be there for a chapter of your life. i know life goes on and i will keep on moving on just like that kodaline song. but fuck dude, its just unfair sometimes. i don think this is the end for my journey in love. im fucking 20 doh. the more i think about it, the more i realise that every heartbreak, i pick myself up and my lovers that come into my life after; they are always more fulfilling, passionate and kind to me. maybe every time i heal, i close a wound that used to be a wall or a toxic trait of mine that maybe caused the failure of my previous relationship.

ive been coping w everything fairly well compared to my previous years. there are sum unhealthy coping mechanism once in awhile but nothing that i cant control. i smoke a lil and i reflect alot and literally exhale alot of toxic bullshit thoughts i have, which is fuckin great. so yea, weed is great guys. smoke more. 420 4 life

love, I

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monalisamarie · 6 years

Text

Thinning. 01-03-2018

i keep feeling nostalgic for things i wasn’t around for. Like rose from titanic style; like being sad n shit for things I’ve never witnessed first hand. idk ive been calling it Remembering. There are some days I feel like the veil between this life and the last and next is ultra thin. This week is one of those times. Its making me so tired and preoccupied. I need to be focusing on right now not the last 700 years of the last me’s life. ya know? i sound crazy. Its just been feeling very purple. like a french violet with some white mixed in. or a lavender with navy to darken it. That’s how i can best describe it.

Maybe i’m just being depressed. But i’m feeling so slow. i think maybe its this Remembering BS mixed with my illness. and my living sit. I’m really worried the people who have fucked me over are going to get in the way of my real friendships. and I was feeling okay but everyone is coming back now and its weird. I know two of them aren’t my friends, so even being over there is uncomfortable. and once Morgan and Amanda get back, i know I wont be welcome there anymore. Esp. if M and B move in together. I’m very worried about that. B said he would MAKE it okay for me to visit him. But i don’t want to be constantly reminded that he’s still friends with a person who could be so selfless and cruel. and caused me so much distress and trauma.

Idk i just keep feeling like im having a heart attack, and have a deep pitted emotional longing for someone I dont know in this life, and keep seeing in someone who IS NOT them. or was them. and I cant be acting that way, not in this life. not with them now. not with them maybe ever for eternity. I guess I’ll just have to see. My subconscious isn’t doing me any favors. I keep having dreams about it, and it makes my current waking life empathically confusing AS HELL. like what do I do with those feelings? theyre not for him, I mean some of them are but NOT all of them. and I thought i was past this, but now its that thinning veil thats blurring the line.

I feel like this is so shitty of me, and like i should be able to control it. Like its all coming though me. From my dreams, from my mind. if were disregarding that the universe is constantly leaving us signs, and trying to approach the problem rationally, the problem seems easily fixed, quit it. But i don’t want to feel that way, and something in the back of my brain or some other force keeping bringing this up. Its not okay, I don’t like it, we’ve talked about it at nauseum. Its over.

Idk everything is SO FUCKED UP now. I hate it. I don’t know how to process it. In the moment I couldn’t really devote time to really working it through. I just had to move, I just had to work, I just had to accept the answers I was given. Esp. with him, I mean we talked. for a LONG time, and I want to say were peachy, were working on it. That’s the best solution I think, to be working. I fear, but also know we’ll always be working. I’m actually really frightened I’ll always be devastatingly in love with him when we cant give each other what we want. He cannot give me what I need, nor I him; from a romantic relationship, I wouldn’t want that from him anyway. He loves me, like I love him, deeply, intensely, We cherish and adore one another, I will protect him forever, and he said he would be there for me. But there is no romantic option for that for us. I think I’m just confusing myself, because my learned subconscious associates that kind of intense and intimate relationship with longtime partnership and romantic love. Which there is a side of within our own friendship, but its not that. Which I think is the part that frightens him. We will be friends, just like the last time, and I hope I can find him again in the next. Its overwhelming sometimes, esp with the veil being so thin, and pieces from our past are blurring through, which is being compounded by the fact he’s one of the few people I can trust at the moment, and with my current emotional vulnerability from this present life. My mind is wanting him to stand in as a symbol of comfort, but not only is that reductive, but also unhelpful to this whole bullshit in the first place.

Its very quickly becoming too much and I’m wanting to gtfo, esp now that I’m postponing my transfer. I had clung onto the fact I wouldnt be here next year, I’ll be moved on to better things in London. I have to deal with Morgan for the summer if her and B move in together, and I have to deal with her the following fall. I DONT WANT THAT. SHES A SNAKE, and its getting harder and harder to rationalize why anyone would be friends with that kind of a person. I’m not wanting to try and come between anyone, or force my opinions of her on anyone esp B. ESP B, but she poisoned him against me before, whats stopping her from doing it again to get what she wants.

theres alot to think about.

#personal #the boy #that boy #past lives #twin flame #twin flame problems #shitty friend problems #witch hunt stories

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