#as if. i cant work for other places.

[sludgeguzzler]

gotta love discussing your career with your father

#i tell him i want a career as an artist he tells me about how oooo did you know Big Companies hire artists??? as if it isnt obvious info #and then im like no i dont really want to work in that are to be honest but ill figure it out #and then he tells me im never going to get enough money to live like that and that ill die poor. cool dad awesome #i WOULD try to be nice and talk about it in a chill manner but its so exhausting i dont wanna #he thinks because he knows how it works its the only path that WONT get me dead in a ditch with no money #as if. i cant work for other places. #maybe ill become a teacher that doesnt sound bad or maybe ill work freelance not bad either #maybe i can land myself a solid job at a studio in town or i can help illustrate books #i dunno man im tired of this guy . cant even mention not wanting to work for a bank without him going into a rant about #responsibilities & the job market & food & taxes & etc etc etc #i have literal years of studying and practicing and growing befre im ready to enter the work force #my life plans may very well change in that span of time #all hes doing is making dread the possibility of working for a company as a designer #welp doesnt mean i have to listen to everything he says #bc i do losten his advice is important to me #i just wosh he wouldnt shit all over my very open very uncertain future just because he doesnt vibe with it #talk

[oh-wow-im-still-here]

Everytime SQQ mentions how much of a lazy pretty boy he is an alarm in my head going "NO NO FALSE THATS SO WRONG" goes off in my head. Like, you're lying!! You're such a lier!! The moment you transmigrated you jumped head first in going above and beyond with your second life!! You know how I know?

...He hasn't done it because he had a twisted hobby inflicting corporal punishment upon the great male lead, but because he just couldn't endure it any longer. After taking over Luo Binghe's education, he'd mulled it over and decided that since he was to be a role model and worthy teacher, he ought to at least do some proper teaching. This way, after they fell out in the future, he would be able to utter the phrase, "Within a master-disciple relationship lies the grace of knowledge passed down," without reddening from shame before the words left his mouth. Volume 2 pg. 234.

SQQ went above and beyond, and honest to goodness, BECAME an actual attentive teacher. A good one at that apparently! His students adore and respect him, his colleagues see no fault in his teaching, no faults found among his community for years!

And we have proof that his teaching paid off with Luo Binghe specifically. Because earlier in volume 2 there is this whole thing about Shen Qingqiu being particular on teaching Binghe proper footwork and how to outmaneuver his enemies, which then cuts to Binghe using these particular skills against Shen Qingqiu and he's like "shit! He's using the stuff I taught him against me! And doing it flawlessly!"

Like, he didn't have to go all in and *literally* become a teacher/scholar/peak lord hybrid like SJ, and then also do every aspect of it ten times better. For funsies. For the immersion. But he did. Lazy my ass!

I mean, we already knew that SQQ was a lying lier who lies, but heres another example lmao.

#hes a not so secret follower of the toxic on the grind work place culture #oh no! i cant just hand off my students to other people for learning! thatll break mah immersion! my cool one liners! #*becomes legit educator* #hehe im so lazy and useless #*becomes trusted and knowledgable scholar in the cultivation community* #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #scum villain

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭 #kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔 #dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd #anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!! #takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve #both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year #newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :( #before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work #he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba #so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit #kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it #when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai #he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg #when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration #they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back #dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES) #and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed #ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again #this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #lotus draws #bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain

[bamsara]

maybe a weird/selfish question/request but have you considered maybe dropping fic updates on patreon when you’re comfortable? stuff like Solar Lunacy or whatever you might feel like doin, or would that still feel too tense for you? i understand if so!

I'm sorry but I can't do that for reasons even outside of my comfort zone! I'm not sure about other countries, but in mine fanwriting and fanart have different grey areas when it comes legality: fanart is more greenlight than fanwriting is. Plus i'm a very firm believer of not having fanfiction being put behind a paywall

#my artwork is still early access and not exclusive so people who cant afford to support me can still see finished things eventually #supporters get wips and sai files avaliable to them but most of my work is done outside of patreon (and stickers but theyre slow to ship) #people supporting me on patreon means i get to produce more stuff outside of patreon that they can see in other places #patreon is my only source of income as a disabled creator rn so i dont want to risk it or go back on my belief by posting my written works #sorry!

[katabay]

ANDREY STAMATIN

Keep a close eye on Peter. You'd become desperate and turn into a villain without him.

I spend a lot of time thinking about daniil and peter, but something just clicked into place for me with andrey. so!

I am. currently untangling this thread of thoughts about the stamatin twins and daniil and this kind of. triangle that's happening. a three fold bullet for sure, the kind of recognition-awareness-understanding where three people become one, but to step back from that. when daniil and andrey talk, there's a specific shape of peter that stands in his conversational absence. so: triangle formation. it's opposite-adjacent-complementary to daniil and peter's conversations. it all goes back to that first conversation you have with andrey. it's giving knife. love it!

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost

#OBSESSED WITH HIM #like i was Intrigued by him but i think re reading girard made me go OH i understand you now #wild that i never connected dots between daniil 'Defeat Death' dankovsky and andrey 'Sentenced To Death In Four Countries' stamatin #the transgressive aspect to andrey was like. yeah buddy. you and daniil are reflections in that way of course. but now im like. #oh. okay! got it. #andrey was always harder for me to get a grasp on because i work better at analyzing character pairs but you cant do andrey #without some version of peter and that's three people (debatably four). thankfully. AW2 has me thinking thoughts about #characters in stacks of 5. so now i get to think new thoughts about this game #pathologic #andrey stamatin #shdhghgh classic patho dialogue with patho 2 character designs. i will do it again until we get the bachelor's route #ehdhghgh i wanted to talk about girard's triangle that's happening too but it's not quite. right. #because daniil is the mediator but the thing desired is an abstract-literal thing that all three of them are reaching for #but are unable to conceptualize without the other two in place #i'll get back to this thought later. but its like. the twin dialogue of pulling in opposite directions. but now 3 sides of the same coin #coherent recognition is achieved with. daniil. and also transformative violence as a catalyst.

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

[0rchidm4ntis]

hey lol *pmmms your 2wink*

#micas art #enstars #ensemble stars #あんスタ #hinata aoi #yuta aoi #ive yet to share anything about this au with anyone but for context: this is my very loose take on a pmmm au #most of enstars' storyline goes the same but at certain points kyubey chimes in and offers a wish in exchange for help with fighting witche #in the twins' case he gets to hinata first some time before the setsubun disaster. he hasnt gotten to expose his feelings to yuta #and kyubey takes advantage of that to offer an easy solution to his issue! so hinata wishes to vanish from yuta's life and memories #in consequence yuta is left on his own without a single memory of hinata but a very strong sense that something is out of place #everything in his life seems to go fine: he gets along great with his classmates. he works hard to improve as an idol in school #but for some reason he cant seem to shake the feeling that the world has become a little too quiet and vast #that something is missing and not right #and so when kyubey approaches him offering miracles he chooses to follow his guts and wishes to find whatever's been missing from his side #i wont go into further details (bc this is getting really long djdjd) but id be happy to talk about it more!! #only other unit ive got finished stuff for is valk (4 pieces to be exact) but i plan on sharing these later so yeah!! enjoy this for now~

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals.... #going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year? #is it year eight of having them? year nine? #one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh?? #his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs... #my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3

[sonknuxadow]

sorry i dont really like the shadow is silvers dad theory/headcanon/whatever and part of the reason for it is that people keep presenting it as an actual thing that could be possible even though it makes no sense and all "evidence" people use to back it up is easily disputed

#''they both have white chest fur'' okay ? there are so many other characters who have small physical traits in common #doesnt mean they have to be related #''shadow and silver are lancelot and galahad in sonic and the black knight'' okay and . #im sure there might be SOME meaning to the character choices in the storybook games but i highly doubt their lives are 1 to 1 parallels #or that the character choices are meant to imply anything about the characters that we dont already know #plus amy was nimue and nobody tries to argue that shadow and amy are related because of that? #also im aware that a lot of dad shadow stuff takes place in the future when silver is a baby and shadow has still been alive for a long tim #(which. how would that even work wasnt shadow in stasis again in the future) #but sometimes i see people do it with like present day shadow being a father figure to the silver who time traveled there ? #thats like the horrible combination of people infantilizing silver in a way they dont do with other characters his age or younger #and people pretending shadow is an adult when he isnt . what #also i dont get why people insist that if shadow is silver's dad then the other parent MUST be someone from the existing cast #like . silver is not from a few decades into the future hes from 200 years into the future #none of the characters youre saying shadow is gonna get with are gonna be living that long im sorry to say #and why does silver HAVE to be the child of a couple in the existing cast why cant he just be some random guy #and im not saying every au idea has to perfectly align with canon #but a lot of the people who think shadow is silvers dad arent presenting it as a fun little baseless headcanon #theyre presenting it as an actual plausible theory . when it really isnt . #also ive noticed one of the most common pairings for silvers parents is sonic and shadow . #sorry but that is just not happening i feel so strongly about sonic never wanting to get married or have kids #i think shadow being an older brother figure to silver could be cute . #and the idea of a timeline where shadow doesnt die or get put into stasis or whatever the hell and is still around in silvers time #could be interesting . but im not really on board with the dad thing

[iiping]

just boyfriends being boyfriends 😌

#hehe it’s cyno whispering into nari’s ears: stop working and come back to bed 🤫 #myart #cynonari #cyno #tighnari #genshin impact #gosh i just CANT get the lightings and colors right pls bear with me ahhhhhhh #sigh tumblr tags are the best place for babbling #//drew this to indulge myself on my birthday woohooooo (and pretend i don’t have other jobs to finish…)

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Im so excited to almost be done w comms bc i cannot wait to Also jump on the bandwagon and play dress up w Peppino

#chattin #so many fun outfits #im debating if i should make like a private twitter for some of the stuff i would Like to draw #bc i feel like #what happens is i go through a RUSH where i am enjoying drawing things and it flows out naturally #and then i hit a wall bc something i would like to draw is overwhelmingly Not sfw #and im like well thats okay ill just skip past that and work on other things! #only i CANT bc its like ‘oops u did not draw and post the thing that has been on ur mind so now ur punishment is thinking about it 24/7’ #which like sucks bc then i get caught on it for so long that i lose steam #and i DONT want to lose steam w this fandom i REALLY dont and i wanna keep it w me for as long as possible #so the only solution i think is to find a place to post it and i think a locked twitter account would help w that #bc like the pic i reblogged w the hot pink outfit is SO fucking good and im frothing at the mouth thinking about it #but i blocked someone bc they saw it From Me and had the nerve to add a rudeass reply #like shut ur whole mouth up u dick #and if i dont have the patience to deal w that on OTHER ppls posts #i will be actually angry if someone does that to me #i will think on it

[submarinerwrites]

lisa loeb, “alone” / egon schiele, sleeping couple / the greeting committee, “elise” / tracey emin, from exorcism of the last painting i ever made / taylor swift, “call it what you want”

#hmm. thinking about this. #web weaving #taylor swift #egon schiele #tracey emin #the greeting committee #love #defamiliarization #idk when i was younger i thought tracey emin was a talentless hack but her work has come to mean a lot to me personally #i like how you cant really tell if there's one or two people in bed in that painting and i love the presence of schiele's influence too #but i connected that to how tgc says love is a lens and emin uses other artists to see/encounter herself (as a child) again #i should also note that i was really really tempted to use emin's tent here but i thought it wouldnt be properly resonant #emin does a lot of work that revolves around beds and sleeping and intimacy obviously but i just thought this was the most fitting #and yeah the ts one like yeah i know i knoww but it just really worked here #idk just kind of thinking about the idea of a lover's discourse and how love exists in this tiny place that two lovers make for themselves #you know. like a blanket fort. #~~~

[tellmeabtspinos]

damian using his art skills for evil and drawing timber in an awful 90s yaoi artstyle (yes the proportions are awful and the hands are nightmarish)

he gives it to tim in front of bernard so tim isn't able to tear it up or even say anything bad about it

it's on bernards fridge now and tim is forced to look at it everytime he comes over

#damian wayne #tim drake #if i a young kid with the ability to torment my siblings by drawing them as a freak i would #god i would do it all the time #damian: brother please accept this. #bernard: aw he drew us ^^ #tim: you motherfucker #damian would definitely use his love of anime for petty torment #i bet that despite the godawful proportions its actually pretty good #frustratingly so for tim #the amount of effort that went into it is not small but tim would rather bite off his own tongue than acknowledge it #as he should. as a younger sibling i would do this. but as an older sibling i would fucking destroy my sister if she did this to me #how does one even recover from this? you dont #you run away and dont let your other siblings find out #but then it becomes everyones contact photo for your SO and its just everywhere. #theres a copy on the fridge. theres a copy at work. its in the batcave. #you cant escape. #idc if its doesnt make sense i would kill for this to happen #(tags all over the place but i dont give a shit. if ur reading this far you probably dont either) #(i woke up and wrote this so i hope it makes sense when i read it in the morning) #(i go mimis now)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[heyheyitsstillgay]

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 2:17

Everyone stfu, I'm a genius, I'm an innovator, I was born before my time, this is the first step in achieving world peace imo. Are you ready? You're not ready.

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 2:23

I'm gonna start sending all my parcels. In hamster balls. Their spherical coloured plastic will confuse & disorientate the box ghost. No one will steal my mail again. I'll have the fastest postage of any company in Amity, even Alvazon.

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 8:27

AHSJFHAHFISJHDUSUHDKAHFSJSK HELP

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 8:30

The fucking hamster ball ghost reading this over my shoulder. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 8:31

HES SO SWOLE TOO AND FOR WHAT??? SO HE CAN CRUSH MY DREAMS BETWEEN HIS THIGHS?? STOP STOP IM ALREADY GAY

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 9:26

I have negotiated a truce with the hamster ball ghost. He's gonna work at my pet supply shop in exchange for hamster balls ayyyy. Nobody hit on him he's trying to do his job n I have dibbs.

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 10:06

Oh god he found the storage room behind the break room. There's so many fuckin hamster balls everywhere you guys.

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 10:07

Listen,, I have deliveries to make today. I'm about to change ghost town life as we know it. You'll get your fair share of balls big guy dw :)

Nish @AmityPetStoreGuy 10:39

He took all the hamster balls and left! Come back my ghost boyf blease I cannot simply write off that much stock 😭😭😭

#round 1 #phandom phight 2023 #round 1: tweeting like amity park residents #phight club 2023 #phandom phight club 3 #danny phantom #own post #this came to me at 6am because i couldnt think of anything funny not following the trio #anyway alvazon is vlad owned amazon i want everyone to picture vlad owning twitter because danny called him a bitch once #edit: me n deathcomes4u seem to have placed vlad in muskrats shoes completely independently of each other. wild. #if elon had ghost contacts he'd send them after companies that spoke against him too. bet. #almost 12 hours have passed and i still cant decide if this is funny or not #i have a backup post. but i also cant decide if thats funny either. #i feel like ive not put enough into them but going overboard just makes them worse imo. idk. #also nish is just a random oc if that wasnt clear. the name of the round made me think it was talking about generic residents #also i tried to format this like actual twitter and i learnt html coding doesnt work on tumblr posts anymore. rip

[savage-rhi]

Magggennnttaaaa!

#before the pandemic i sold a lot of original paintings and such at conventions and shows in my area #well some locals at a gathering today kindly informed me someone has been selling copies of my plague doctor piece #and some of my mini prints and presenting them as their own same with stickers #its not only ai we gotta worry about now even the damn locals are doing this shit #i got a show in may coming around the corner and I'm thinking i might not even sell paintings and stuff anymore if this is going to happen #im a creator that loves collaboration and thinks art should be free to enjoy #if this person approached and asked if they could sell my work i wouldn't give a fuck personally provided they give me credit and or a link #back to my stuff hell if people want to print my work if they cant afford it go for it #but fuck dude you don't just claim you did all that work as if it was yours #this was disheartening news #and several other local artists found out too at this venue that their work had been turned into stickers that vendors bought off amazon #ill hop off the soap box in a minute #still scrambling to get kofi stuff set and donation links prepared #thanks for your patience everyone #im getting out of a depressive funk too with what happened at my work place #and im gonna be speaking with a legal aid rep next week #magenta is my safe word for venting