#bc i left it kinda unresolved | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeahspider · 8 months

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tooth brush 🫀

Ve’s note - this is fluff . i love a good friends to lovers trope and this is exactly what this is . han jisung x gn reader . this was inspired by that one dnce song . no actual smut but illusion to sex and alcohol mentions .abrupt ending as usual bc i suck at conclusions . i’m gonna get better at posting more frequently and proofreading i swear . (also i’ve gotten a lil critique on my writing style recently but i write how i talk . very casual and very realistic . this is 100% a personal choice and won’t be changing anytime soon sorry *kinda*) anyways i hope your enjoy and feel free to request in my inbox !! <3

you didn’t expect you’d end up here . never in a million years . staring at your reflection in the mirror it’s safe to say you look a mess . bare feet on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor . hair in every which direction . clothed in only a shirt which definitely didn’t belong to you . maybe you had one to many last night . and now you had to deal with consequences .

taking a deep breath you turn on the faucet sink to splash some water on your face . you needed to be 100% awake for the conversation that awaited you once you stepped out your safe haven . just a few steps outside the bathroom door was your childhood best friend han jisung . it’s been awhile since you’ve seen each other . life taking you on different paths . him to a studio and you to college . your bond never severed though .

you had came home from school and decided to have a sleep over with at his house . an event which has happened several times but not once has it ended the way it did last night . you could blame the liquor or you could blame the unresolved feelings that have sitting between you two since you were both 15 .

you knew hiding in the bathroom and waiting for him to leave the room so you could sneak out wasn’t a realistic option . but it was the one that brought you comfort . confronting the hours you spent embraced in each other last night was scarier in comparison . you could smell the breakfast his parents were cooking for you both downstairs . yeah sneaking out was seeming less likely by the second . picking up your sparkly blue toothbrush you left there after your last sleepover you decide to buck up . you were both adults . adults have sex . it’s normal ….maybe not with their childhood best friend but your sure it’s happened before . spitting out the paste you run yours hands through your hair and take a deep breath . you could do this .

“are you going to hide out in there forever or are you gonna come out eventually ?” you heard jisung say from the other side of the door . you could just picture the smile on his face . it leaked through his voice . there went your resolved , down the drain with your toothpaste . your hope of sneaking out officially ruined you grab the doorknob and step out .

“ah there you are i thought you had fallen down the drainpipe or something .” he said as he took in your disheveled appearance . you were rooted to the floor , scrunching your toes in the carpet and gripping the bottom of your - jisung’s - shirt out of nervousness . you couldn’t find it in you to respond to him . and that’s when he burst out laughing . shocking you out of your stance . how could he be laughing right now . this is a serious situation . but the longer you laughed the more weight you felt lifted of your shoulders . you realized that this was just jisung .

you quarter your shoulders . hand on a hip and sled him what exactly was so funny . your tone mocking an anger that you didn’t really feel .

“you’re just cute when your nervous.” jisung’s said as he gestured you to come lay back in the bed . making your way over to him you grumbled something out about not being cute . he pulled you into his lap as you crossed your hands over your chest . pouting at him for laughing at you .

“hey don’t pout it’s okay i have no regrets .” he said as he swirled soothing circles on your bare thighs . bringing a comfort over you as you smile at him . you asked him if he was just saying that to make you feel better .

“i’ve been in love with you since we were like 15 i’m just glad you feel the same way …unless you do regret it ?” he posed the question to you a hint of insecurity in his tone , to which you brushed away as you planted a kiss to the mole on his cheek . you would never regret him .

“cmon my parents made breakfast we can talk seriously after you eat.” jisung stated as he took your hand and lead you out the bed and towards the smell of breakfast .

#stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids headcanons #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #yeahspider #han jisung fanfic #han jisung fluff #han jisung x reader #hanjisungfanfic #han jisung smut #han jisung scenarios #han jisung x you #han jisung angst

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yesokayiknow · 5 months

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anything on 13 and 14 for the bigeneration?

-since there’s already two of them, fourteen never gets shot, which means fifteen won’t be around for a while yet 😔. it also means that both the doctors play their own games against the toymaker! fourteen sticks with highest card, thirteen goes with mario kart (and wins, for the record. yes she will be holding the fact that she won her game and fourteen lost over his head forever. oh what’s that his game was pure chance and doesn’t have anything to do with his level of skill? tough)

-donna's spare room only has one bed, and they argue over who gets it for like an hour (thirteen's like i sleep on the floor a lot anyway it's fine you take the bed and fourteen's like you literally died like 5 hours ago YOU take the bed) until donna's like Why Doesn't Somebody Take The Fucking Sofa. that somebody is thirteen bc fourteen's really tall lmao. donna comes downstairs the next morning to find fourteen curled up on the floor next to the sofa anyway and is like hm i sure hope this won't be representative of their general relationship!

-for the first week, thirteen is very much not fun to be around for reasons of she literally just fucking died and was kind of hoping that it would mean she didn't have to deal with any of that unresolved trauma (spoiler alert it's still there but It's Worse Now). eventually even fourteen starts avoiding her, which makes it ten times worse (turns out she's uh kinda bleeding psychically. that's what happens when two aliens rip open your memories again and again and then your best enemy forces a regeneration on you). this goes on until she snaps at rose, at which point donna sits her down in the shed and is like we're going to talk or else i will physically kick you out. an hour (and a lot of tears) later she brings fourteen in too. they end up having semi regular check in sessions after that and it really does help

-around a month in, they just Vanish and the tardis is gone too, and donna's like well they could've left a fucking note. but i get it. and then rose is like mum come look!!! and takes her into the shed, which is now bigger on the inside and has two full rooms, one with rose's workshop (now with a bunch of vintage sewing and knitting machines in) and one with the tardis and a hammock (for thirteen) and a sofa bed (for fourteen). donna's like oh you definitely should be in seperate rooms you guys are unhealthily close and they're like we can't hear you over our amazing coping methods

-yeah they're like. really codependent. they also have vastly different ways of getting comfort (fourteen needs to be touching somebody at all times, and also loves comfortable silences; thirteen needs a five foot cube of personal space and also can't stop talking ever Or Else The Thoughts Get Her) which isn't a super great way to live tbh! luckily you kinda need surgical tools to seperate donna and fourteen, and rose and thirteen can talk at each other for hours, so it kinda balances out. the fact that they physically need to interact with other people really helps dskjldsajklds

-while fourteen isn't ten, he's just like a more mature version of him, so he slots very easily back into donna and wilf (and even sylvia)'s lives. thirteen, on the other hand, is a completely new person, and does often feel a little out of place. once everyone else realises she feels like this they're like what the fuck are you talking about. you're sad and feral. that's the doctor

-they do eventually get better with uh lots of therapy and also getting desk jobs at unit (fourteen ends up more with the organisational side while thirteen is just Generally Sciencey. she has like forty experiments going at once. kate only knows about around 2/3 of them) plus the shed expands eventually and thirteen gets her own workshop and tinkering really helps calm her down. meanwhile fourteen starts getting into baking, and that helps him too. they both just really needed a breather, yknow?

#asks #anon #bigeneration au(s)#doctor who #the doctor #thirteen #fourteen #they're both doing very much not good!#thirteen goes through So Fucking Much in her life and stopping to think about it makes it all hit her at once #and fourteen's like the saddest wettest cat around. mainly because Look At Who He Came From #votest most depressing doctor duo #also since they both live in the same place they need a way to differentiate them #donna comes up with SO many stupid nicknames #her favourite is probably bitey and bony #there's also stripes and suit. blondie and spiky. shortcake and double decker. north and south #also fourteen ends up migrating from his suits into just comfy clothes but i don't think thirteen ever changes tbh. maybe also more jumpers #god i need to make these shorter #sorry 😔

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weird-life-of-a-closet-fangirl · 4 months

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also also I have so many thoughts about kristen constantly putting her foot in her mouth re: tracker

like i've mentioned this before but her "did you sleep if off?" comment and her repeatedly pissing tracker off with her i-told-you-so attitude is really making me wonder what kind of life kristen had before she left her parents. like we already know it was a pretty authoritarian household, that her parents were strict about religion and kristen didnt have much to worry about bc she was their golden child, the chosen one of helio, but it didn't necessarily mean she had it easier growing up. I want to know more about how her brothers are doing right now, bc so far all we know about donna and mac applebees is that they're kinda racist and live in the elmville suburbs, but kristen's behavior makes me think there was a lot of unresolved conflict in that household that translated into constant passive-aggressiveness. So anytime there's any conflict between her and tracker she keeps pushing her boundaries, trying to impose her decisions onto tracker bc she thinks she's right, and I'm so SO sure she got that from her mom. I hope we learn more about the applebees in the future

#idk maybe im projecting a little #growing up in a strict religious household and all #but like. its really making me wonder what kind of relationship donna and mac had with each other and how that translated to the kids #i hope kristen figures things out soon bc this kinda stuff just keeps building until something breaks #and idk what's gonna happen to kristen if tracker breaks up with her #fantasy high #fantasy high sophomore year

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wildernessuntothemselves · 7 months

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I was on team Beomgyu until the 6th chapter and ik that all the characters have their own flaws and have to work through it but I started feeling bad for the oc lol. Especially when she referred to her future with Yeonjun as 'unstable' and her relationship with Beomgyu like 'a sun that never rises', these lines hit me and made me think "oh maybe both of them aren't the ones for her". Yeonjun has only been a 'sweetheart' to her so far but never showed his true intentions even for a bit imo, so it's a bit difficult to trust him yk? And she clearly seems insecure whenever she's with Yeonjun since he's kind of a Playboy, this could become a big problem in the relationship if they get together, she might also find him suspicious for no reason or Yeonjun could assume that she cheated on him with Beomgyu (which could actually happen if the feelings between them both are left unresolved). Whereas Beomgyu and oc seem to have had a great chemistry but this little conflict makes them drift apart and the future for them seems hopeless. She's only getting with Yeonjun so she can get over this idiot, but she's an idiot too since she's not making a clear move on him. But it's understandable since there are factors to be considered, still this relationship COULD work out but bc of their recent interactions ig it'll take a lot of effort lol. If she really HAS to end up with one of them, I'm guessing the scenario has to be REALLY specific and I'm excited to know how it turns out. So far I think I shouldn't jump to conclusions yet since it's kinda just the beginning but this is my opinion lol, even tho Beomgyu's emotions were shown a lot in this chapter, still I felt bad for the OC for the first time pfft- but I'm still a sucker for my Gyu so ofc I love that man, Anyways this is my observations~ I guess I could keep adding but I'll stop here. Love you More, take good care of yourself~💝

i wouldn't say he hasn't shown his true intentions. why are we assuming he has ulterior motives? what if he just likes the girl?

but them having jealousy issues with oc thinking he's a playboy and him worrying about gyu will be explored in the coming chapter so you're right abou that.

ahhh i don't know guys you keep saying it will be so hard for her to end up with either and it has to be something really complex and i'm sitting here like 👁️👄👁️ the answer is really very simple and now i feel nervous that you guys won't like the ending because you're expecting something bigger than what i have planned 😂

#mort talks #jealousy jealousy

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vettely · 1 year

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i never had anything with this one guy but i know he liked me at one point and i liked him too and i still do even though the last time i saw him before today was more than a year ago and i hate that there was never anything between us except for a high amount of unresolved sexual and romantic tension but it was always somehow the wrong time and place and first he had a girlfriend and a then i had a boyfriend and then i was acting all distant and then the pandemic happened and then uni happened and then my mom dying happened and then me dropping out of uni happened and then his new girlfriend happened and it was ALWAYS JUST THE WRONG TIME and it's kinda stupid kinda ridiculous kinda funny kinda sad we only ever hugged three times in five years of knowing eachother but all of those times were emotional and weird but nice and intimate like the first time was when i was drunk and crying the second time was at my mom's funeral and the third time was today at his dad's funeral and i honestly didn't even want to hug him bc it really hit me that i'll never be over him even though i never even had him and i know his girlfriend is not the biggest fan of me but i knew he needed that hug and he leaned in first and i just kinda held him and i felt so bad for him and my heart was breaking for him and i hate myself bc i couldn't stop thinking how he'll never be mine and i'll never even kiss him and probably never even see him again after today like what the fuck why was i even thinking about that kind of stuff at his dad's funeral i'm so stupid i hate him and i hate myself and his girlfriend is so nice and i do believe they are soulmates they were inseparable since the first year at uni and it was obvious she was so into him and he only saw her as a best friend and i know she was jealous of me at few occasions and i hated myself for it bc i didn't want to see her sad but at those times when she was jealous i was actually so happy especially that one time at uni when we spent 6 hours in the corner of the classroom just talking instead of doing our projects and at the end of the day he asked me to go for a drink with him but i couldn't bc i had to stay behind and talk to my professor about my project and i knowwww if i had said yes something would've changed between us but i didn't and i regret that every single day and i wish that was the only time he had asked me out but it actually wasn't bc he asked me few more times in some weird ways and i was acting like i didn't know what he was talking about oh my god why was i like thatttttt and when he broke up with his first girlfriend he wanted me to find out subtly but he was anything but subtle about it and it was so ???? but also cute af bc it was obvious that he wanted me to know that he is free for taking and let's not forget a little bit over a year ago when he pressed every single button in thr elevator bc he wanted to spend more time talking to me about irrelevant things and tbh that was peak romance but dear god GIRL YOU NEED TO GET OVER HIM you probably won't ever even see him after today bc you dropped out of uni and left him behind and he has a girlfriend and it's over ffs

#what is wrong with me #lmao ignore this #i'm slowly going insane

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frawed · 1 year

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I haven't felt like I've had much to say lately so I haven't been writing. Haven't felt inspired or like I had thoughts worth sharing. But sometimes, writing, in & of itself, is a worthwhile activity & can spark creativity and help me to put those underlying and perhaps somewhat unconscious feelings down where I can see them and see if it rings true. And I have often benefited from re-reading old posts and seeing where I was at mentally, spiritually and emotionally at different points of my life.

Quite often, after a breakup is a very reflective time in my life. And, interestingly, around that time, without you going searching for it, it seems previous exes or even other non-romantic relationships that have fallen by the wayside seem to have a way of cropping back up as if to say, "hey, there's some unresolved stuff here - since you're processing so much, want to process this, too?". LOL Well... this time has been no exception. I've actually had some surprisingly not unpleasant conversations and interactions with some people who previous relationships had failed with. It seems I am not the only one who has been going through a difficult time lately.

Whether or not you want to acknowledge or draw attention to it (by calling it BC or AC or whatever), times after Covid do seem inherently different than before. It does feel like we have lost a lightness of being (that most, not all, of us had) and that things have taken on a more serious tone. Kinda like a fast-forwarding of adulthood for many of us. I don't have many teenagers in my life to ask but I know that in my age group, the people I have talked to seem to collectively be suffering from the trauma resulting from a worldwide pandemic and various countries' and regions' responses to it by forcing compliance on things like self-quarantining. Or, conversely, the enormous stress that resulted for many who did not have the option to quarantine when that was the CDC's and WHO's recommendations but we were considered "essential workers" or worked for employers that rebuffed those notions that quarantining was even necessary.

At the very least, it seems to have shaken us up. Some, it shook into a sort of rebellion against being told what to do by our government. Others seem permanently more withdrawn and perhaps even more reliant on instruction from authorities. But overall, the effect seems much deeper and we were forced to come to terms with what we ourselves deemed as important and what we ourselves wanted to prioritize. Our options may have been limited but we still have opinions, desires, goals, etc. In a way, all the possible responses to the pandemic felt like one more thing to divide us when unity and perhaps empathy was most needed. Former activities like dating and hanging out with friends or going out to make more friends felt more difficult and the implications of those actions felt more serious (whether for health or more ideological reasons). Every decision felt more serious and difficult in some ways or the decisions we did make seemed to have more of a possible negative impact - perhaps judgement from our peers, for example. This may have had the effect of chipping away at our autonomy in a very insidious way.

When we break all the noise away, though, what we are left with is quite simple. We are all trying to do the best we can do with the resources we have in an increasingly partisan and charged environment. A more SERIOUS environment where every choice we make and action we take seems to have possible detrimental consequences. Gone is the lightheartedness that much of us had pre-Covid. Now the actions we take for our own mental well-being often feel like a giant "fuck you!" - and we're not even sure to whom or why.

There are, I think, many reasons for this. Many of us worked possibly the hardest we have ever worked in our lives during the pandemic and while work got more intense with no signs of letting up, and with fewer outlets to blow off steam (work hard, play hard, anyone?), we got increasingly burnt out while being told we should be thankful for our jobs because now, more than before, employers are letting people go. And the pandemic assistance has dried up while the Fed tries feverishly (a little late, perhaps) to correct the inflation. No more free money. We're now adjusting to life with one more rapidly mutating seasonal thing to fight alongside common colds and the flu. But with no more paid time off and perhaps worse job prospects than before (despite the supposed number of vacancies at jobs).

So, when we do take a stand and do something for our mental health, it is perhaps extra urgent to us. It is perhaps something we put off for far too long. It can be something we might get a little defensive or upset about if anyone were to try to stop us or try to get us to adult a bit more and play a bit less. We might be tempted to flip a desk and say "fuck all this b.s.!" while we run off on a long overdue vacation. Our childlike senses of wonder, hope and love for the world and adventure have suffered during this time. Those of us who have held on might be dealing with anger and resentment for what we've been put through. Even if we don't feel we have someone specific to blame. It's like shadowboxing. We have an enemy - but what is it, exactly? The pandemic? Our greedy employers who seem insistent to preserve profit margins above all else? Is it other humans who think and believe differently from us and try to impose their beliefs on us? Is our way of life irretrievably changing and becoming more serious and less playful and fun, for us to never get it back?

I think Americans specifically are having a hard time, especially those of middle class status. We're accustomed to a certain standard of living that has been threatened increasingly so lately (& not just by the pandemic). It's almost a palpable noose tightening around our necks. Some may have come closer to homelessness than they ever thought possible and feel incredibly disillusioned and unsafe in a way they never had before. It is all too common in America to be living paycheck to paycheck so you might already have had a love/hate relationship with your employer, but now? I think the tension between employer and employee is the most I have ever known and witnessed. Without an employer, most cannot afford health insurance, for example. It doesn't take much to plunge to new depths of a situation that feels impossible to dig oneself out of.

But - you might ask - is it really all bad? Is all of this that we have endured for over 2 years now ALL BAD? Are there any positives we can take away from this? I would say yes. I think in most things, it is your perspective and what you choose to take away from a situation that ultimately matters and impacts you the most. Instead of focusing on the negatives, we can realize that life is cyclical. We are in a very important time politically and we have the power to affect change. Many of the things we were focused on BC were trivial and superficial. The pandemic has helped give us perspective on what is important and helped us to see how we react in times of stress. And if you don't find that of value, perhaps you'll find it of value that it has shown how others around you react in times of stress. You've been given a window to see into the minds and souls of others. Not as a way to judge but still it can be a quicker way to know who you might align with more even on an energetic level (if not ideologically or politically). You can see those who tend to bury their heads in the sand. You can see those whose strength emerged against all odds when they were tested by fire. Y'all - we have been THROUGH it. We really have. As a nation, as a world, as humanity. We have been tested. And not all of the things we did or learned from this are good. But we can hold on to the good and we can also use this as a time to practice empathy & remember - we all are limited at times. We all have only so much capacity and resources with which to live this life with. We can be a bridge for some who have run out. We can be a safe space where they can just BE. It doesn't have to be about judgement and about lessons and learning all the time. Sometimes it is just about BEING. Existing. Breathing. Or as it is also sometimes called - living. But I think most of us long to begin to find a way to emerge and hopefully get back to thriving - not merely subsisting.

For that, I wish you good luck. And one of the best things we can do right now is cultivate a practice of gratefulness - for what we DO have.

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dantevhell · 2 years

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what are your top 5 insane amphibia episodes :o

Oooh thats a though question bc I never thought abt it. But well let's go!

Warning: this will be a big ass answer sor- SIKE I HAVE NO REGRETS!!

5 - BATTLE OF THE BANDS - ok it was a simple somewhat fluff somewhat angsty amphibia ep a really calm b4 the storm kinda of thing but made it was well made! Observing sasha's more profund mentality of "I need control, they won't want me if I am not in control, they won't need me if I am not in control" towards her girls and realizing that deep down all that she wants is for her girls to be happy, for them to succeed, God that was heartwarming. Toadie was the perfect and most unexpected character to teach her that but hey it was welcome!

This two pictures here made me insane.

JUST LOOK HOW LOVEY DOVEY SASHA IS LOOKING AT MARCANNE I WILL COMBUST AND-

4 - BARREL'S WARHAMMER - I remember being genuinely SICK genuinely CRAZY genuinely DEPRESSED after this ep bc I never related to sasha so hard b4 and my kin on her only intensified on this ep! Seeing and confirming that sasha was insecure abt being left out of marcanne's life and feeling like she needs to have control for them to want her oh boy that was delicious and what a ep to make the fandom crazy with metas!! Seeing sasha beggining to realize that her actions were what was leading for the others to abandon her and she's the only to blame for her decisions.... only for her to fall into that trap of self destructive behavior MAN that sure was something that changed my brain chemicals HELL YEAH!!

3 - THE THIRD TEMPLE - I was really excited for that ep bc we would not only get the girls SOOO waited reunion in amphibia after 2 YEARS but also we would gain a flashback when their first meet so i remember I spend the entire week only thinking about it! I really wanted to see how their dynamic would work as a trio and I was really excited to see if my predictions were correct (they were!). The tension of sasha and anne unresolved conflict and their long waited 2nd reunion, marcy finally encountering sasha after months without seeing each other, sasha and anne being unaware of marcy's plans with the king, MAN, THE TENSION WAS PALPABLE!

Also seeing sasha showing regret over her past actions with anne but unable to stop her already on motion plans was sure a good angst hoooho boy!

2 - ALL IN - it was way more that I expected it to be! Anne's speech about her how she didnt loved herself, her fight with andrias and sasha's fight with darcy, andrias reading leif's letter, andrias and marcy flashback, marcy escaping her dreamscape!!! WOOF THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS REAAAALLY WELL ELABORATED!

I think if the story ended there and we didn't had that stupid "suddenly the moon is the enemy bc the prophecy is too literal" plot and we just skipped to them saying goodbye and having the timeskip I would have been happier but that's content for aaaaanother post.....

1 - TRUE COLORS - hands down the amphibia ep that made me the most INSANE AND MENTALLY ILL. Nothing will top true colors for me bc I spent months making theories with my friends only for it to be almost all throw away and the plot twists blow my mind! I genuinely didn't see marcy's reveal coming or her agreement with the king being going to other worlds so jesus! What a time! Marcy's speech was really impactful, andrias revealing his "true colors" was satisfactory in a way that was really anger inducing, sasha fight with anne and the begging of her redemption arc was soooo cool to watch and the animation in Anne's calamity form !! Wooooo I genuinely didn't know how to react after this ep I was feeling anesthetized a good few days!

#almost all of those revolve around sashas redemption arc hah i guess yall will never guess whos my fav of the trio #ANYWAYS HERE IT IS ENJOY IT!!!#thanks for the ask it was sooooo fun to think abt it!!! mwaaah #love sharing my insane brainworms and love for amphibia !#amphibia #dante speaks

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lordprettyflackotara · 22 days

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I’m not sure how much you’re going to delve into this, espically since till dawn has one more chapter left, but how will reader react to finally understanding most of what a mate would imply? I assume EJ doesn’t really understand the concept of love (or at least being in love) and I don’t believe he actually does quite yet aside from the feelings that sort of forced on him because he mated. If that’s right, like how would reader feel about that? Does she love him (kinda assuming not since all we’ve seen of her feelings towards him is just lust, rather than her actually caring about him, even in a platonic aspect).

damn you got me thinking hella deep. some of this i plan on furthering into the bonus part, but to kinda share my thoughts in the mean time i’ll yap a bit. something to keep in mind, (imo & specifically in the till dawn universe), is that Jack was once human. i think him learning to love is not just that alone, but learning how to extend his love with the demonic creature he is.i’m aware it’s cannon that he doesn’t remember much from his human life, but Jack isn’t completely animalistic or primal.

as a character alone i’ve always thought of EJ to be intelligent and well rounded, more logical than not. despite the animalistic behavior/mating cannon, for lack of better words, EJ is just a guy. (with murderous tendencies of course but that’s beside the point). i think bc of this reason the elaboration of him learning the concept between infatuation & love just happens gradually over time. i don’t think it’s a conscious thought, i think subconsciously with those primal instincts but the humanistic side as well results in what we consider love. now, whether or not that explicitly gets said is a different story. i think through out his actions to protect us (y/n, yk what im saying) during part three to me solidified it went beyond just lust and someone to breed.

now as for us as a character, in till dawn i didn’t want to elaborate on us being anything further than an insert. i enjoy frequently writing from the third point of view, giving us an inside look at what jack is consciously thinking. i think in a different fic id love to explore the world of extending our insert character, exploring the concepts of falling in love with a monster from a human perspective. that entire concept as well as questioning the morality of having feelings for someone as demonic as EJ, or even any of the creeps, is definitely deeper than i wanted to go in this fic.

with the finale just having been dropped i do now realize a lot of those feelings have been unresolved and unanswered, the assumption being that we just are along for the ride. i would love to explore (in a different fic/universe) those darker concepts with the contemplation and actual horror involved. mating being forced, infatuation, refusal to be ignored, etc. admittedly i feel a bit unsure/rusty regarding my horror writing skills but it’s something i would love to dip my toe into.

later on when the bonus part comes out a few of those questions will be answered and elaborated on, i promise. but for now i hope this suffices <3

#tara’s thoughts #eyeless jack

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phrootsnacks · 4 months

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jjba thursday: part 4 ep 4-6

this week was a little better than last week. I still get so stressed an anxious about everything every day all the time but im starting to get into a rhythm. I like having something to look forward too-- I even made popcorn! yay!

my reactions to these episodes below~

episode 4 - The Nijimura Brothers, Part 2

rip koichi lol

rip the billion brother lol

"the incompetent will hinder the capable without fail... and life is only worth living when it has growth" I did not expect such hard lines this early in the episode wow

oh! interesting scene transition! I like that

josuke chose to save billion bro bc same hair,,, kinda

this abandoned house is now reminding me of smth... maybe a children's hospital... with and interesting design.........

what... the enemy stand is literally a tiny army???? ok.....

what does it say about the politics of jojo's bizarre adventure that the enemy is a highly organized and highly weaponized tiny military (styled after the US army.) combined with this fear of a great evil lurking in this small quiet town...... hmmm..........

koichi's stand can't be much better than freaking hermit purple right. like the logic of the arrow is the badder the person, the stronger the stand. and koichi's a freaking square

egg

wait what just happened. did he use the weapons shining diamond destroyed earlier?? ok,,,

episode 5 - The Nijimura Brothers, Part 3

koichi...... istg

stepped right into that one huh koichi

so. that's their father right

I know the anime is trying to say this creature is terrifying but I think he's kinda cute. in a funny way

oh....

ok but wait. when you shot the criminal guy w the arrow, you just unleashed him on the town to kill josuke. why, if the ultimate goal is just kill your dad

damn. the ideas and themes in this one. familial bonds. cycles of abuse. punitive justice, restorative justice. this is jojo's bizarre adventure

oh shit!

ok so breaking news: I've been watching the dub but this episode im watching the sub and.... do all of the stands reference music that explicitly? and im just not knowledgeable abt it? or is it just red hot chili pepper

damn youre getting sucked into the outlet and the last thing you do is be mean to your lil bro

ok grieve I guess

next enemy stand user is..... tired of working?? dude same but idk how fulfilling it would be to kill jotaro kujo about it

and now they're friends. wow friendship is magic!

episode 6 - Koichi Hirose (Reverb)

koichi....... KOICHI

what is happening. why is it happening.

im still at a loss for words. I- what

a real slippin jimmy. right? wow

or maybe a reigen arataka...

koichi why is your dog's name police

oh my god. what is happening???

dang

ew ew ew gross what the fuck

egg

uhm. what the hell is that???

ok this is an interesting stand. but why does it look like that....

koichi. why does your stand look like that. cicada inspired sure, but why's it got skateboard wheels

what in the world.............

huh

I-- uhm... ok. this truly is a Bizarre Adventure (I hope this con artist guy isn't a recurring character. I generally like con artist characters but not this guy)

ok but this is still left unresolved: did josuke heal billion bro's dad, will jotaro kujo tell josuke about the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and koichi why did you name your dog police. police??? wait is that referencing the band The Police????

next time on jjba thursday: I will miss even more references to 80s bands

#jjba thursday

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nom-compos-mentis · 2 years

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~ thoughts about one more chance ~

basha and popoy. one of the classics. i’ve watched this plenty of times but still hits different every time. they’ve been together for 5 years but popoy is bossy and controlling in the relationship and everything feels planned while basha feels suffocated in the relationship and she’s just unhappy, she decided to break up with him. it’s actually his fault bc he was too controlling in the relationship, she can’t even eat chicken skin bc it’s cholesterol and she doesn’t love her job but feels obligated to do so bc of popoy and their plans of getting married and stuff. however, seeing popoy get heartbroken is sad bc damn he kinda looks pathetic for waiting for basha bc he kinda made her his life and he felt so secured with her until it’s not. i feel pity seeing him just cry and try to get to see her and be with her when she doesn’t want to anymore. ik popoy had his faults but it’s just sad when u still wanna try and make it work but they just don’t love u anymore like they did before and it hurts like shit thinking abt it, just a lot of what if i didn’t became controlling, what if i was better then they wouldn’t have left me 💔

okay pt 2 is after the break up. popoy had a girlfriend and basha is single. popoy had moved on ofc but maybe cuz his love for basha is not quickly to be removed, he still had unresolved feelings for her. meanwhile, basha is fine w her status and career she is thriving but she kinda feels alone and misses popoy. it’s just all over the place. come on, exes come work together? 😭 its never good. when u spend time together, u will always feel things bc u were once comfortable with it and u got condition to it, you’ll remember all the nice feelings. i just feel bad for popoy’s gf cuz bro she tried to fix him while he’s broken and what? he just goes back to what broke him which is basha. then basha wants popoy back just bc she got her life together now? what about popoy? his life was shattered and he’s surviving, he’s just starting to live and now boom.

i like this movie, lots of realization and good actors 👏

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smuggsy · 3 years

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Remember this post about how Riddler dug up Elijah's body and we just... collectively chose to ignore it along with Oswald? 😂

Well. I un-ignored it. With a sad angsty fic.

(You can read it down here as well.) Word count: 2040. Tags: #emotional comfort #established relationship #hence: canon divergence #nightmares

Oswald's used to having nightmares. He's no stranger to sleepless nights, 5-am coffees have become a bit of a recurrent habit to make up for the drowsiness clouding his mind after a particularly difficult dream chimes in without permission and throws his sleeping schedule off — so much that he often finds himself power-napping through the day when Ed isn't around to tell him off for it.

Yes, he's almost grown too accustomed to Hugo Strange's voice narrating all sorts of gruesome scenarios that he ends up carrying out of his own volition, propelled forward by an unknown and invisible force deep inside. He never really sees the Doctor, but he hears him all the time, he's just there all the time. He tells Oswald what to do and Oswald does it without a pinch of remorse. Shoot him. Stab her. Blow them all to pieces, they deserve it.

It's the kind of hell he's used to. He's almost learnt to accept it's never going away. That it's a part of his psyche now, a part of him that will never really go away — because how do you fix a tattered mind? He wouldn't let anyone try, anyway. Not after Arkham.

This night is different. This night he's assaulted by a new kind of terror, almost perfectly calibrated and specially curated for him. Blossoming from the deepest part of his mind where he'd stocked it, never to be revisited.

And it's most cruel for one reason: when he wakes up with a startle he can't bear the thought of those arms wrapping around him and providing comfort like they've done so many times before. In fact, the first thing he does when he opens his eyes is untangle himself from Ed's sleeping embrace like it burns him.

Which means he's got no-one but himself to count on, again. No-one to hush him through the aftermath and speak softly in his ear and hum a long-dead melody until he calms down or, if he's lucky, falls back asleep.

"Oswald?"

He sits on the edge of the bed, hunched over to catch his breath, and feels Ed shifting position behind him. His partner's voice is clouded with sleep and Oswald can't bring himself to even turn around and reassure him — lie to him. He fears if he turns around he won't see Ed but Riddler. Not Ed's gentle eyes but Riddler's mocking glare. Not a warm comforting smile but a disdainful sneer.

His father, standing on the other side of the bed with a disappointed frown. My boy, how could you steep so low? Do you know where I am? Do you know where he left me?

When Ed's warm fingers brush over his right shoulder Oswald bolts upright with a whine.

"Osw—?"

And he runs to the bathroom and slams the door close behind him, feeling his one-piece nightgown sticking to his chest with sweat.

"Oswald, what's wrong?" Edward's voice is immediately on the other side, he tries turning the doorknob but Oswald is pinning it closed with his own weight, still unable to brush away the gut-wrenching feeling of betrayal that's so suddenly taken hold of him, "Oswald, get off the door."

It's a gentle request.

Oswald might have done it, perhaps, might have considered it, if he hadn't looked right into the mirror hanging on the opposite wall and seen Elijah's pale and sickness-stricken face. A dead man's face that makes him shiver.

He shall never have peace, so long as you're with him, Oswald thinks. Some other Oswald. Some other voice that sounds like his but isn't. Can't be.

"Oswald," Ed tries again, and this time he pushes against the door with more conviction, Oswald leans off and turns around to face him when he comes in, to keep him away, Riddler, he's still in there, he's— "oh dear," Ed coos, having one look at him and taking pity instantly. He takes a step forward and Oswald takes a step back.

"No!" he blurts out with a raspy voice. Edward stops dead in his tracks, lost expression for a moment before his shoulders relax again.

"It's okay, Oswald. It was just a nightmare," he adds, softly like so many times before.

"No, it isn't! It wasn't!" Oswald lashes out, hating that he looks at Ed's dishevelled face and concerned caramel eyes and wants him to just get away, his voice comes out just barely, "you did that to him! You— How could you?!"

Ed opens his mouth and doesn't move, clearly taken aback by the accusation even if he fails to comprehend, thrown off by the way Oswald looks at him, stands like that, like a wounded animal, like he might flee if Edward takes another step forward.

He still takes a step forward, though, because he never was really good with physical cues.

"Os, I don't understand wha—"

"Don't touch me!"

Oswald jerks away and hits the wall behind, still shivering despite his burning skin. Edward shows him his palms, a gesture of surrender.

"Okay. Okay, I'm not," he takes a steadying breath in, "I'm staying right here."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's not him, I swear! I didn't—"

"Oswald?"

"He's different now! He's not like that anymore!"

Oswald gestures towards Ed, clever, supportive, thoughtful, with his checked blue pyjamas and plaid shirt and lack of glasses and puffy eyes from sleep. Then he looks back at his father now standing by the door and projects the thought: Ed. Not Riddler!

But Elijah shakes his head and purses his lips, looking him up and down like he doesn't approve and Oswald just needs him to understand.

"It's not hiiiiim!"

"Oswald, this is starting to become very unsettling."

Edward looks around, to his right, there. To where Oswald's looking, to nothing. He knows that deranged gaze, he's seen it countless times before, he's stood in front of the mirror a lot of times and seen it on himself.

"Os, it's just those new painkillers making you groggy, okay? It's a much heavier dose than the one you're used to. Whatever you're seeing," Edward chances a slow step forward and Oswald finally turns his head back to him, with glassy eyes and tears on his eyelashes and still looking like he'll run away, "it's not there, Oswald. I am here."

Oswald stares at him for a few more silent moments with a lost expression, mouth open and still bracing himself with one hand on the cold tiles behind and the other on the sink.

"You're not... you're not him, I try to— I tell him you're not," he babbles, looking feverish and lost.

That's when the penny drops for Edward. It feels like a stab to the heart, that broken voice, the trembling hands, the quivering lips, the whole sight of an Oswald so distressed he won't even let him get close enough to soothe him.

"No," Ed says softly, his own voice failing him for a moment, shaking his head and taking yet another step closer, "no," he repeats breathless, "I'm not. Please. Come here."

He reaches an offering hand and Oswald slowly looks down as if weighing his options. As if making sure this isn't a trick — which, well. If he's thinking of Riddler, he can hardly be blamed for exercising caution, Ed admits. It hurts him to admit it. To know he's caused this, one way or another. Painkillers or not. This raw incoherent fear is coming from somewhere, however small the flame that ignited it might be, and he can't fix it because Oswald won't stop trembling like a leaf and recoiling.

"Oswald, please," he begs, voice finally breaking and eloquence escaping him, retrieving his outstretched hand and rubbing fingers over his burning eyelids because if he breaks down too... "please, it's me, Ed, just Ed."

He doesn't know what to do. He's on the verge of blurting out apologies when he opens his eyes to Oswald latching onto him with one of those desperate hugs. Ed wraps his arms around him instantly, a reflex, feeling like he's just come back to life.

"Go away," Oswald says, sobs with his face buried in the crook of his neck and starts crying. Edward tightens his hold and hides his own tears in the other man's raven locks, understands he's not the one being spoken to, "go, please. I won't leave him!"

Edward can barely understand the string of pleas when Oswald's clutching onto him so firmly his words come out muffled and nearly intelligible. Either way, he's not about to ask who's there — better not add salt to the wound. Not feed the horror, lest it become a recurrent thing. He needs him to understand this is a figment of his imagination if he's not aware already.

"Shhhh, it's all good," he keeps Oswald in place with an arm around his waist and brings the other one to gently pet his hair, "it's o-kay, Oswald. I'm here, it's just you and me."

Oswald nods against his chest but he can't seem to bring himself to stop crying. Edward rubs circles on his back.

"Just you and me," he repeats, striving for a soothing voice and feeling it waver ever so slightly.

They stay like that for a whole five minutes until Oswald finally leans back, sniffs and looks up with red eyes and a self-deprecating comment on his lips that Ed doesn't let him voice out.

"Come on, it's freezing out here."

Ed guides him back under the covers and tucks him in, Oswald watches his every move like an overcurious child. That cloudy expression is gone, though, and Ed can't help but let out a sigh of relief at having him back. He looks drained but sober.

Mostly sober.

His eyes still dart around with a nervous air but he doesn't seem to find his demon anywhere. When Ed climbs back up on the bed Oswald immediately shifts closer and hides his face in his shirt again.

"I'm sorry, that—"

"No-uh-uh," Ed cuts in, brushing a strand of hair off his green doe eyes and feeling an almost compulsive need to plant a kiss on the now-red tip of his nose, "say no more."

Oswald purses his lips and shuffles even closer, pressing his flush body so firmly against Ed's that they can't exactly see each other's faces anymore.

"Can you...?"

"Yes I can."

And that's that. He settles his chin on top of Oswald's head and starts humming; content to sidestep the issue just for now but unable to brush aside the sour taste of guilt filling almost every corner of his mind.

He starts rubbing circles on Oswald's back and doesn't stop the melody until he feels the other man's hold loosen up and his breath change into a normal and peaceful pace. Only then does Edward slowly extract himself from the embrace, far enough that he can look at Oswald's face.

Red and wet and troubled, still. He reaches over and soothes the lines on his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Os," he breathes out.

He's used to Oswald having nightmares. He wakes up all heaving breaths and uncertain hands latching onto anything that's near for comfort, for safety or reassurance. Ed is always there to provide either one, wrap his arms around his shaking form and listen to him if he wants to talk. Make him a cup of tea or play soft tunes on the piano if sleep doesn't return.

Oswald's always been needy like that.

Having him wake up and frantically keep himself away, recoil from his touch and excuse himself to a third party only he can see... that's a first.

And it's terrifying.

Because He made that happen. Because Oswald's grown to be too dependant and Ed's grown to be his anchor in moments like these and if he can't even be that... then what can he be? What's left for him to be, besides the clear instigator?

Ed closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, focusing on the sound of Oswald's breathing and on the touch of his cold feet and the smell of cherry-scented hair conditioner. He relishes in the familiarity of the hold and shakes the darker thoughts away.

Perhaps he's become a bit dependant himself.

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oscalesoffeeling · 2 years

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x. he spun the stars on his fingernails (regular version)

self ship playlist for me n huffie composed of more contemporary music <3 i think this one is maybe the most representative of my s/i story tbh!!

lyrics under cut!!!

the ballad of mona lisa - panic! at the disco

- a lonely speaker in a conversation / her words are swimming through his ears again / there's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for

she had the world - panic! at the disco

~ she held the world upon a string / but she didn't ever hold me / spun the stars on her fingernails / but it never made her happy / 'cause she couldn't ever have me

remember my name - mitski

- 'cause i need somebody to remember my name / after all that i can do for them is done / i need someone to remember me

when you were young - the killers

- he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentlemen / like you imagined when you were young

shadow - bearstronaut

- i'm the one you want in the palm of your hand / running down your back at every word's end / you can let me down, put me in my place / although you've had enough, there's still more i can take

i will - mitski

- i will wash your hair at night / and dry it off with care / i will see your body bare / and still i will live here

stay soft - mitski

- it's why i've arrived, your sex god / here to take you where / you need to go / to where the dark remembers you

genghis khan - miike snow

- i know there's no form / and no labels to put on / to this thing we keep / and dip into when we need

animal - neon trees

- here we go again / we're like sick animals, we play pretend / you're just a cannibal and i'm afraid i won't get out alive / no, i won't sleep tonight

casual affair - panic! at the disco

- break involuntary ties / a secret so the spies / could never find us out / stay for as long as you have time / so the mess that we'll become / leaves something to talk about

kiss from a rose - seal

- there used to be a graying tower alone on the sea / you became the light on the dark side of me

pure love - hayley williams

- if i want pure love / must stop acting so tough / (i give a little, you give a little) / (we get a little, sentimental)

far too young to die - panic! at the disco

- well i never really thought that you'd come tonight / while the crown hangs heavy on either side / give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die

resistance - muse

- will they find our hiding place / is this our last embrace / or will the walls start caving in?

fear the future - st. vincent

- when the war start anew / in our bed, in our room / i'll come for you, come for me too

starlight - muse

- far away / this ship is taking me far away / far away from the memories / of the people who care if i live or die

deus in absentia - ghost

- the world is on fire / and you are here to stay and burn with me / a funeral pyre / and we are here to revel forever more

parachute - sean ono lennon

- 'cause if i have to die tonight / i'd rather be with you / cut the parachute before the dive

skyfall - adele

- let the sky fall / when it crumbles / we will stand tall / face it all together

on my own - les misérables olc

- without him / i feel his arms around me / and when i lose my way i close my eyes / and he has found me

trade mistakes - panic! at the disco

- i feel marooned in this body / deserted, my organs can go on without me / you can't fly these wings / you can't sleep in this box with me

haunted by the kiss - talkfine, starkid

- my heart won't stop beating / hoping that this kiss / will never ever become a scar / you're in my soul / you're tormenting me / if you're suffering as much as i am / please, won’t you tell me

maps - yeah yeah yeahs

- made off / don't stray / well, my kind's your kind / i'll stay the same / pack up / don't stray

sweetest goodbye - maroon 5

- where you are seems to be / as far as an eternity / outstretched arms, open hearts / and if it never ends, then when do we start?

high - the cure

- and when i see you happy as a girl / that lives in a world of make-believe / it makes me pull my hair all out / to think i could've let you leave / and when i see you take the same sweet steps / you used to take, i know / i'll keep on holding you in my arms so tight / they'll never let you go (never let you go)

dig - incubus

- we all have a weakness / but some of ours are easy to identify / look me in the eye / and ask for forgiveness / we'll make a pact to never speak that word again / yes, you are my friend

two slow dancers - mitski

- it would be a hundred times easier / if we were young again / but as it is / and it is / we're just two slow dancers, last ones out

in our bedroom after the war - stars

- it's us, yes, we're back again / here to see you through 'til the day's end / and if the night comes and the night will come / well at least the war is over

#so anyway. i've posted this before without lyrics but i've updated it since then.#like i said this is probably the playlist that best describes my s/i story with him? definitely in certain parts.#because like the story goes that delruk was kinda forced by her parents to be wil.huff's assistant but he basically refused #to give them intel or connections when they asked bc at that point he didn't give a shit about them anymore and had gained wil.huff's trust #which he didn't really wanna lose. meanwhile delruk and wil.huff are trying to hold back their feelings for each other but end up starting #a tumultuous love affair. it all comes to a head during what would be the climax of anh when #delruk convinced huffie's stubborn ass to evacuate and then they both kinda realize that 'Oh. we're in love but still weirdly in denial of #how deeply and we also disagree on a bunch of kinda fundamental things and all the secrecy and differences are kinda putting a strain on #our relationship and maybe we have a lot of other unresolved problems In general. So. maybe we should take a break.' cut a year or so and #huffie left the empire and came crawling back to me ready to beg on his hands and knees for me to take him back but i just kinda flung #myself into his arms and kissed him and now we're married :^)#anyway. 'dig' is like our song. same with 'open arms.' it just perfectly describes our connection ya know.#i love that old man ❤#ugh. anyway #ellie rambles about stuff #he spun the stars on his fingernails (tag)#ok to rb #:)

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lawrising-a · 3 years

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@escapesnight voted : 📝 ( for the duchess 👀 )

. october 12 .

‘ autumn is making it's rounds again, a never ending storm that only leaves rawness in it's wake. sometimes it feels like fall never leaves, not completely. i see fallen leaves everywhere - i search for it. there was a poem i stumbled upon recently, a thing ominously printed in the newspapers, and it said “it's always october in my throat.” the thought makes my own throat flex as i swallow nervously. it hits too close to home for me, and i'm sure if you had survived everlock's trials, it would be the same for you as well. ’

‘ i'm beating around the bush, cautiously avoiding the topic of why i'm putting a pen to paper again. but you know, don't you? it's because of you. while i'm helplessly watching summer decay, all i can fathom is your own corpse. did you color differently when you died, right before you crumbled? you're as pretty as a leaf in fall, duchess. a graceful float to your step whilst you thrive in an environment with others just like you. it's a shame i never saw you to spring. ( you'd look eternal in winter, i've given it much thought as well ) i keep picturing your hair in the sunlight, your ivory skin bathed in dawn and the way it would tan you even more. dazzling my eyes to the point my old aviators would finally have done it's purpose. i still replay the way you'd dance from group to group during puzzles, twirling about like a flower bud caught naturally in the wind. you were memorizing, truly. or perhaps i'm romanticizing the past, i've been told i do that ... ’

‘ i guess what i'm trying to portray is my grief over you, still. trying to paint the crippling stages of it as something beautiful. am i offending you with the seasonal elements? you're not just a fall thing, you're every weather combined into a singular being - i hope you know that. wherever you are. we knew each other a short time but you've burrowed deep into the veins of my pulsating heart. an invisible star-freckle tacked onto the slender inside of my wrist, from where you last touched me. my fingers sprawl across it from time to time ; shielding the memory from stormy winds and melting heats. remembering the way you clumsily fumbled for it when scared. you never did quite grip my hand - perhaps i never let you. i can admit i was frightened. i think that's all i can admit now. with nothing but dwindling time on my hands i'm faced with admissions no one else shall hear. i was nervous of letting you in completely. i was applaud by how drawn i was to your warming form. and even if i can no longer remember the melodic chime bathed in your cawing, that doesn't change how much i grew to love you. ’

‘ this all so mushy, i'm realizing now as i re read it. i'm sorry you're stuck with these entries from me. another lovesick confession soon join one of the many crumbled papers stuffed in my drawer, stuffed in the pits of my queasy stomach. you'd probably laugh at this. you did say love was stupid during that night, after all. a thing you shared with the savant - but this is more for me then it is you. helps me release 'tense' emotions or whatnot. helps me remember how real the group was, and by default, how real my adoration was towards you. ’

‘ not really helpful. i feel worse somehow. like the gaping void in my chest is only expanding - ’

‘ sticking with october themes, how do you feel about the nickname pumpkin? a little too old fashioned, huh? figures - ’

‘ you'll be found, duchess. i promise. ’

#» yellow tainted views ( answered. )#escapesnight #duchess♡detective » if love could have saved you . you would have lived forever ( escapesnight )#( i just love killing your muse off <3 bc mat mourning her and left with unresolved feelings is angst centeral whoops ! )#( but he loves the duchess sm. misses her sm!! thats his gf yall!! or well - almost gf. kinda. soulmate if hes bold )#( i love these little entries mat gets so maddeningly poetic with them )#( hes so charming with letters he wont send because he can go ape shit!! and not be judged like he would for saying it out loud ! )#( ahem. anyway. i love them sm! hope this was good and sorry for the long wait :puppyeyes: )

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redrobin-detective · 3 years

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My issue with the Tucker's jealously subplot wasn't just that it was unresolved. It was like: how? He had front-row seats to Danny struggling in school, barely sleeping, living in terror of his own family, getting hurt and beaten and blasted through walls on a daily basis...how could Tucker be jealous for longer than a month? Like, sure, the powers are cool and all, but Tucker knows better than anyone the cost, the baggage the powers came with, and that it never truly got much easier for Danny.

See I guess I can understand it a bit. One, issues like jealousy and such are rarely logical vices and not exactly something one can help. Two, these kids are 14 which scary and astonishing and it's totally believable to me that a young boy who loves superheroes would want powers himself. Three, and this is the big one to me, Tuck's jealousy is less a comment on Danny and more on how Tucker views himself.

We see over and over that the trio are at the bottom end of the totem pole and get bullied and verbally abused daily. That does things to a kid's self esteem. And then your best bud (also possibly the only one Lower on the social hierarchy not that we're keeping score but shh we kinda are bc thats how teens) gets badass powers overnight and is now a superhero? Tuck has seen up close and personal all the shit Danny goes through as Phantom, he knows bc he's been beside Dan the whole time. Hell, in Kindred Spirits it was outright stated that being the 'support' Tuck and Sam often get the short end of the stick with clean up and damage control while Danny is off fighting. He gets all the stress and tension and danger of ghost fighting without the dope powers.

But its more than the powers, Danny is now somebody. He's powerful and kind and a good leader, he's gonna be a beloved superhero if not Ghost King. Early trip ups or not, Danny now has value to society. Sam is rich and determined and smart, she was always gonna go places. Tucker is feeling not only left out by his only real friends but examining his own worth compared to an OP superhero and wealthy kickass heiress. Tucker cannot see his own value and is viewing himself as the perpetual sidekick, destined at best to be Danny/Sam support and at worst to be deemed unworthy and forgotten while they go onto bigger and better things.

This is all nonsensical bc Sam and Danny adore Tucker and he himself has many amazing qualities but self esteem is hard to reason with, much less with a very young, very stressed child. Now a young, stressed child can't really conceptualize the difficult notion of ones own worth to others/society so it primarily manifests in jealousy over Danny's powers. This feels realistic for Tucker and his age group and I approved. I am mad we didn't get the resolution he deserved which would be Sam/Danny validating Tuck's importance as a person and also giving Tuck a chance to be his own man outside the trio. The throwaway Tucker is Mayor now at the end of PP was an attempt to wrap it all but it was disgusting and we don't talk about that foolishness.

I really liked the idea of Tucker running for Student Council President and taking an active part in the school OUTSIDE of his friends/ghosts. It would have given him a confidence boost, a chance to put his skills (organization, leadership when need be, planning, technology) to use and earn some credits for himself. Plus he could be more of an aid to Phantom by giving his friend some leeway in school with having some authority. That would be the confidence boost he needed but didn't get. But in my mind eventually Tuck/Sam/Danny DO talk about it and Tuck gets some relief and goes on to be successful and happy with his own endeavors while still being a close and integral part of Team Phantom.

#after private journal its is respect tucker foley hours 25 hours a day #idk writing so much from his POV just really gave me an understanding of him?#or at least how *I* understand everyone has their own way #yeah never had a problem with the jealousy plotline #it was one of the few consistant character beats so I appreciated it #and it made sense given everything #just damn Tuck deserved better than to be comic relief and made fun for wanting to be like Danny #(IE superpowered going somewhere a genuinely good person)

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