#bc i love tofu and i make the occasional asian dish

[tokruta]

I feel so cheated sometimes bc I fucking hate the taste and smell of meat (I categorize seafood as meat too) and beans

I'm Mexican-American

My Mexican mother is considered the best in the family for Mexican cuisine, everyone loves her food and I can't eat most of it

I can't eat it or smell it without wanting to gag (I don't, but I need to leave after a while to get a break)

Mexican food is considered one of the best food cultures in the world, my mother was born and raised in Jalisco and brought all the recipes she learned from her mother with her

I grew up on fast food and faster/easier recipes because she needed to put more time and effort into cooking for the rest of the family

I also grew up in Los Angeles, one of the best places in the US for authentic Mexican food. We'd go to Mexican restaurants when she didn't feel like cooking (and on one memorable occasion, a house/restaurant that was recommended to my parents at church lol), and if not Mexican restaurants, then some fast food place or seafood buffets. I stopped going out to eat with family often in my teens bc it wasn't worth taking me. I also remember being judged and just hated the experience and would make up excuses to not go

I don't know, I was on my tiktok fyp and I kept getting a lot of stuff about Mexican food and I just hate being reminded of my fucking defects so much. I didn't choose to utterly despise meat and beans and I feel so left out of my own culture. If I could eat it, I would, but I can't.

My siblings grew up on all of these amazing foods, and I grew up right alongside them, eating something else.

#at least i'll always have my taquitos de queso and tostadas con col #and my fruit or vegetable salads with lime and tajin (chamoy optional) #one time i was making myself a tofu stirfry and my uncle made a joke about how i should have been born asian #bc i love tofu and i make the occasional asian dish #and while it didn't really bother me at the moment. it just makes up one part of the collective memory in my life of food trauma #it sounds a bit extreme but i think it is a bit. i have issues with food and sometimes guard my food a bit too much bc it's mine! #you can eat whatever the fuck you want don't fucking take my food away from me! #y'know? #still thinking about that time all of the only cheese pizza was eaten and all was left was pepperoni and supreme #i almost cried #anyway just venting ig this got away from me #i will never shut up about my fucked up relationship with food and eating in front of people even family #hasan't #personal #like actually personal not just my usual personal tag #venting #self pity #mexican food #i lowkey get triggered by people who say the best way to experience culture is through food and then it's just a list of food with meat #i can't #just...i need to start eating indian food fr fr