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#been in an angst mode lately
obligatoryjauneblog · 16 days
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jaune and penny! i feel those two could have a lot of chemistry if they had the time, in particular, i think theres a lot to be explored with jaunes semblance, i mean think about it! penny is practically made up of the stuff, so i think there could be a lot of tender moments there as she gets to "feel" stuff more like a human, like warmth, dont you think? alternatively angst as pietro begs jaune to use his semblance on him so he can rebuild penny basically, any thoughts on this ship and how it came to be?
Jaune: I'm sorry Pietro, I
Pietro: Don't even finish saying that, you cretin.
Jaune: I just can't okay?! Even with my aura boosting yours it wouldn't be enough. It.. it wouldn't be Penny we can't guarantee that!
Pietro: ... then I guess all you're good for is taking life.
Jaune: Pietro-
Pietro: Get out.
Jaune: Pietro I-
Pietro: I SAID GET OUT!
Jaune: ... I'm sorry, Mr. Polendina...
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snickerdoodlles · 11 months
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A non-angsty KimChay headcanon for me, pretty please??!!
:D!! ❤
post-reconciliation, they are SO excited to date each other, but neither of them are prepared for what it means to actually be the other’s boyfriend.
they think they are. Kim spoiled and indulged Chay before, Chay flirted with Kim ‘til kingdom come. they’re so ready for this.
they are Not.
Kim opens to Chay like a sunflower does to the sun. All those times he watched Chay wave his hands around while he talked and ached to kiss his fingers? Kim’s doing that now. The urge to curl up against the broad span of Chay’s back and soak up his warmth? Kim’s draped over him like a cat in a patch of sunlight. All those snatches of songs that came to him when he thought of Chay? Chay hears them, reads them, feels them. Kim’s no longer holding back every time he aches to reach for Chay (why would he? last time he did, he lost Chay. he’s going to drink up every bit of him that he can, now).
Chay’s always been bold, but it’s turbocharged after they begin to date. He used to be careful in how he pushed with Kim, he could tell Kim was skittish before. But now? When Kim welcomes it? Chay’s not stopping. Multiple texts throughout the day when Chay’s thinking of him—not anything Kim has to respond to, just pictures of clouds or animals or silly signs that Chay wants to share with him. Responses to every single one of Kim’s song pieces and more of his own originals—music is their favorite language. Constantly tells Kim “I like you :D” which flusters him even more than “I love you”—Kim knows what it’s like to be loved, he hadn’t always been so sure that he was liked.
after they begin to date, Kim is voracious, Chay is relentless. they like each other so much.
Send an ask, get a headcanon (prev: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
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artschoolglasses · 1 year
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Fallen Warrior 
Assassin’s Creed Valhalla
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storybook-souls · 2 years
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me being told for years to watch avatar the last airbender and not doing it until summer 2020 🤝 me being told for years to read the raven cycle and not doing it until now
#sometimes you're just saving something for when you really need it without even knowing that that's what you're doing!#anyway i'm in my raven cycle era now <3#i really really love all of these characters but gansey and adam in particular have me in an absolute vice grip#i really was reading the first few chapters still in writer analysis mode...'man this is a really strong start she's doing#so well at establishing these characters and getting her reader engaged'#and then we got to the first adam perspective chapter and i immediately went 'hm wuh oh i LOVE this guy--'#haven't been that thoroughly and immediately sucked in by a character in a while. like genuinely maybe since sokka#and GANSEY is. well! guy of all time!#this book is Really good i'm Really enjoying it....#i read over 300 pages this weekend and only like 75 of those were the end of the devourers#(ALSO a phenomenal book by the way)#and that was like. that was me reading SLOWLY#i read the card reading scene at least twice and the tree scene twice and the garage scene like FOUR times--#and it was Really nice to be distracted at work today by thinking about a book rather than by having a breakdown....#raven boys has maybe singlehandedly cured my angst where i feel like i can't read or watch things that 'everyone else' did in high school#or when they were kids even in atla's case#because i've 'missed my window' or i'm 'late' or something#no actually. it's awesome that i didn't read or watch things in high school it means there's good things i get to consume NOW.#anyway that means next i'm reading homest--
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inyoursheets · 1 year
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one of these days im gonna write fic again, i can feel it
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dreamescapeswriting · 4 months
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All Warmed Up ~ BC
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WORD COUNT: 2.7K
GENRE: angst with a fluffy ending, chan not realising/ignoring that the reader is sick, sick reader, caring for you, Noway I'd forgive him wihtout some major grovelling tbf though
PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
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For days this headache had been brewing for you, it had started as nothing more than a dull pain in the front of your head but as time went on it continued to get worse and worse until you could barely stand it anymore. You’d called in sick to work for days now and it was getting to the point where your boss was beginning to get annoyed with you for it, not that you could help it when your body decided to make you ill though.
Normally you weren’t the type to let some sort of bug or flu keep you down but this one seemed to be knocking you down again and again and it was a struggle for you to even keep your eyes open. It was hard for you to even go to the bathroom without feeling so light-headed you were going to fall so you held onto the walls whenever you walked.
“Channie?” You coughed out as you heard him getting up, or getting in you weren’t entirely sure what time it was since the blackout curtains were still drawn shut keeping everything out. It was the only thing keeping your headache somewhat muted at this point and you were doing everything to keep any form of light out of your way. Your phone hadn’t been turned on since yesterday and you were laid in complete darkness, something that seemed to be helping you an awful lot lately.
“What are you doing in bed?” Chan grumbled a little harshly as he made his way over the windows throwing the curtains open and blinding you instantly as you let out a choked whine. 
“I’m sick.” You grumbled pulling the sheets over your head but it was as though he’d not heard you as he grabbed his bag and pulled his laptop free from his bag. You knew he’d been working harder than usual lately since their new album was dropping any second but this was somehow different to any other comeback stress you’d seen your boyfriend under.
He’d barely had time to look away from the screen to eat, let alone look at you and see the state that you were in and you didn't hate him for it. The two of you had an understanding that when he was so busy you weren't going to hear from him much, but knowing he was alive and eating was enough for you when he was in comeback mode. 
But it annoyed you as to why he was asking why you were home, you’d told him all week that you hadn’t been feeling well, texting him that you were home and for him to be quiet when he came in but all of the notifications were read but never replied to. Hell, you'd even asked him to pick you up some cold patches and he had. Had he forgotten you were sick that quickly?
You didn’t take it to heart since you knew he was busy but it started to grate you that he didn’t even act as though he cared that you were so sick. Not that you were doing it to gain his attention but to know your boyfriend cared wasn't too much to ask, was it?
Chan mumbled something you didn’t quite hear before slipping his headphones onto his head and starting to work on his laptop, you slowly peeked out from under the blankets and groaned as the sun felt like it was burning your eyes into raisins. 
“Fuck,” You grumbled reaching to the bedside cabinet for the sunglasses you’d kept nearby for when you had to venture to the bathroom and you slid them on slowly standing up. The clock on the wall said it was almost nine which meant you were once again not going to work and you needed to phone your boss.
“Have you seen my phone?” You mumbled out, searching around the bed for when you last saw it but it was nowhere in sight and it wasn��t even on the bedside cabinet either. You could have sworn you left it near you last night for when you were eventually going to need to use it again.
“Channie?” You asked out before tapping his shoulder and a very annoyed-looking Chan turned to look at you. There were bags under his eyes and you could bet he hadn't slept the night before,
“What?!” He bit out, staring at you and waiting impatiently for you to ask him whatever it was.
“Have you seen my phone? I need to call in sick.” You didn’t even react to his angry voice, you didn’t have the energy to.
“You’re calling in sick again?” Disbelief masked his tone as he turned his head back to look at the screen,
“I can barely move without feeling dizzy and I have this giant headache,” You groaned rubbing your temples a little before Chan pulled his headphones over his head.
Maybe he somehow thought you weren’t going to hear him but the next sentence made your heart break into a million tiny pieces,
“You need to get over yourself, there are people worse off that are still going to work.” At this point, between him not even acknowledging that you were sick and his words it felt as though your heart had just been put through a paper shredder and you didn’t know what to do with yourself.
The response you had for him died in your throat when you saw him going straight back to working on his project. Somewhere inside of you, you knew that he was just acting out of stress but it didn’t stop the achingness you were now feeling inside of you. And maybe he was right? People did go to work when they were sick but you’d never been one of those people, you could barely function when a migraine came on and you would always take time off to start trying to feel better. 
So instead of phoning in sick you moved to the wardrobe very shakily, changed into some work clothes and carefully made your way out of the house and into the street. With how dizzy you were feeling you grabbed a cab not wanting to put anyone else or yourself in danger if you were to drive to work.
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After a few hours of working in his room, Chan finally slipped off his headphones and smiled to himself pretty proud of how everything had come together. It was done and it was good, perfect even but he would never admit that. Everything was composed and edited and ready to be put into an album for review with the company and he couldn’t have been any happier with how it had gone. Now all he wanted to do was celebrate with you, go out and grab some food and then come back and do nothing for a few days since he would have some time off.
“Yn?! I finished, do you wanna go out and grab some food?” He called out as he walked out of the bedroom expecting to find you on the sofa but the house was quiet and cold and you were nowhere in sight. 
“Yn?” He tapped on the bathroom door before opening it and finding it empty and panic began to wash over him, if you weren’t in the house where were you? You should have finished work hours ago and been home long before now. Sprinting back to your shared room he grabbed his phone to check where you were and he had missed calls from unknown numbers and a few from the boys. But there was a blinking voicemail at the top of his screen.
“Hello Mr Bang, this is Doctor Kush from Seoul General Hospital, we have Miss Yln here and you’re listed as her emergency contact, please contact us again on this number.” Dread began to crush Chan like a ton of bricks and he tried calling your phone only it was going straight to voicemail, next he was calling the boys who appeared to be ignoring his calls. 
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“I’m fine Lix,” You hissed trying to get out of the hospital bed but his hands kept pushing you back to lie down on the bed shaking his head at you. You'd wished they'd not called anyone but you'd been out cold so you couldn't tell them not to call anyone for you.
“I need to go to work, I’m fine.” It was a lie and you knew it but the words Chan had said to you kept bouncing around in your head and you couldn’t stop them. In a sick twisted way, your head was telling you to prove him right, that you could go it and go to work when you were sick and you couldn’t see just how wrong he was.
“I will ask them to sedate you if you don’t lay down right now.” Felix’s voice was stern and you stared at him with his unblinking eyes and knew that he was serious with his threat.
“What were you even thinking going to work?” after the hospital couldn’t get hold of Chan they’d called your second emergency contact in your phone which happened to be Felix who was a little overprotective of you. The two of you were close with one another and had been ever since you'd started dating Chan he was like a brother to you and you adored the relationship you had with him.
“I thought I felt better.” Felix didn’t believe it for one second as he noticed your top lip twitch and your nose wriggle, a clear sign that you were lying to him.
“And the real reason?” Felix stared at you and the two of you failed to notice that Chan was standing at the door and panting heavily out of breath. He'd been running from the car park and up the stairs since the elevators were taking too long for him to even get inside.
“There are people worse off than me that still go to work, so I should get over it and go.” The words drove a knife through Chan’s chest, almost as much as seeing you hooked up to an IV did and he felt as though he was going to throw up.
He hadn’t expected you to hear him and he didn’t even know why he’d said it to you, it wasn’t as though he’d meant it - not to you at least, never to you. 
Of all people, Chan knew just how bad your migraines got to you but he’d just been so stressed with work and he’d been hearing people complain about how sick they were, too sick to help him edit the album and he snapped. It was wrong and he was going to make it up to you every second of every day for the rest of his life if you let him.
“Yn, I’m sorry.” You and Felix’s heads snapped in his direction and you quickly looked down at your hands on the bed, you didn't want to face him right now or for a while at least. It pained you to think of everything he'd said back at home,
“What happened?” Chan asked you but you refused to even look at him so Felix stepped in, clearing his throat as he told Chan everything that the doctors had told him.
“She passed out at work and fell down a flight of stairs,” Felix explained and you grimaced a little. You'd just made it inside the building and got to your floor before passing out, part of you was thankful it wasn't in the street since that would have been even more embarrassing. 
“What?!” Chan's eyes widened as he stared at you, searching for any signs of broken bones or injuries but you were just laid in bed with an IV in your arm.
“She’s fine, her migraine is worse so they're treating her with acetaminophen and she has a sprained ankle but it could have been a lot worse.” It could have been, Right now you would have given anything to still be passed out so you didn’t have to face Chan but you knew it was inevitable.
“I’ll give you some time alone.” The door to your room slid shut and you slowly looked up to see your boyfriend looking at you with tears in his eyes.
“I’m sorry-” Chan tried to say but you didn't want to hear it,
“Save it.” You hissed out, staring at him as he shook his head as if he was trying to find the words to say.
“But I am, I’ve just been-”
“Stressed?” You finished with a scoff, you wanted to shake your head but any movement you made honestly made you feel as though you were going to fall over again. 
“I’ve heard the same excuse time and time again Chan and it’s getting harder for me to forgive every time,” Your voice cracked as you got the words out and Chan sat on the chair beside your bed, holding your hand in his as he ran his fingers over your skin.
“I was spiteful and rude. I took out my anger from everyone else on you and it’s not fair.” He admitted,
“True.” You mumbled as he lifted your hand to his lips and softly placed a kiss on your skin, smiling weakly as he thought about it. There were going to be no words he could even express to tell you how sorry he was,
“Everyone at work had been calling in sick when they were fine and I just snapped. It was wrong and nasty but I just-”
“Let the dame break and I was collateral damage?” You mumbled bitterly before looking at him and he nodded at you slowly.
“And I will do everything I can to make it up to you.” You smirked a little at the thought of what you could get out of him and he watched you closely,
“Spoiler for the new album?”
“Anything but that.” He groaned, you knew he would never be allowed to no matter how much you begged.
“Take me home?” You knew he was sorry for what he’d said and it was still going to take a while before you got over it but all you wanted right now was to go home and be in his arms.
“I’ll talk to your doctor.” He whispered before gently kissing the top of your head and walking out of the room to go and find someone who knew your case.
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Since coming home from the hospital Chan had been a completely different person toward you, work was wiped completely from his mind and he had been caring for you every second of the day. The night you'd come home from the hospital he'd run you a bath but used a baby thermometer to check that the water wasn't too hot for you to get into and wouldn't let you bathe alone.
The whole time he'd been there, he'd washed your body for you and helped make sure your hair didn't get wet. After that, he'd taken you to bed where he got you a warm hot water bottle to place on your ankle and changed it to ice whenever he needed to.
Now was no different, besides the fact that you felt completely fine and well enough to go back to your normal day-to-day business.
“You know I feel fine now right?” You asked as Chan tucked you into a blanket on the sofa and placed a hot drink on the table that was within arm's reach of you. 
“I just want to make sure.” He mumbled as he pushed play on your comfort film and went to go and get his own hot drink.
“Chan, the doctor gave me the all-clear four days ago.” you reminded him but he pouted at you in response making you giggle at him. You knew he was sorry for the way he had treated you and this was one of the only ways he was able to make it up to you so you were doing your best to let him.
“I love you,” You told him as he cuddled up under the blanket with you, holding your hand before squeezing it softly.
“I love you too.” He whispered, holding you close to him not wanting to let you go for even a second.
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beenbaanbuun · 15 days
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Haiii this might be a weird request but I wonder if you could write an angsty Addams!MATZ fic 😭 so sorry if this is weird I've just been feeling really angsty! You can choose whatever happens lol I just wanna cry 🫶🏽
sorry i didn’t write this sooner!!! i really wanted to but i’ve been super busy over the past few days :(( i never feel super confident writing angst but i did my best!!! i hope you enjoy :D
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hongjoong yelled at you… hongjoong never yells. he doesn’t yell when yeosang is being difficult to train or just acting downright feral. he doesn’t yell when clients are being cheeky and asking for far too much. he doesn’t even yell when you’re being a brat and he slips into ‘dom mode’ to punish you. yet he yelled at you just a few minutes ago…
why?
it’s your fault, you tell yourself. if you’d just listened when he told you he was busy, none of this would’ve happened. he was already stressed so why did you think being a brat and pushing his buttons would be a good idea? of course he wouldn’t want to deal with you when he already so much else on his plate with work. it was dumb of you to even think he’d give you the time of day.
you try and keep your tears to a minimum as you stalk through the house. noisy crying would only be another distraction to hongjoong and you don’t want to upset him any more than you already have done. still, despite your best attempts, you can help the shuddered breathing and quiet sniffles as you make your way down the stairs and towards your favourite spot in the house.
the fire is already crackling, drawing you in like the pied piper. you can hear the hushed conversation behind the soft crepitation, but you ignore it, entirely too focussed on how nice it will be to flop onto your favourite rug and fall into a slumber. perhaps when you wake, everything will be fine. maybe hongjoong won’t be mad at you anymore. he’ll smile at you as he tells you you’re forgiven, placing a kiss to your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips. he’ll take you up into his arms and apologise for yelling, speaking to you in the softest, most gentle voice he can muster. it’s a nice thought…
you reach the doorway to the living room, staring up at the large, oak arch that reaches high above your head. it’s carved with intricate details all hand finished by their artist friend, yunho. most of it represents their respective histories, each of their tales beginning from the bottom of the arch and climbing the wood like vines until they reach the apex at the top. prior to your arrival, their wedding had been the carving at apex of the arch, the image of two ravens, each holding a ring within their beaks, sat proudly above everything else.
now, though, the image at the top is entirely different. a lamb with dove wings and a dainty collar around its neck. the ravens still sit proudly on either side of the creature, watching over it as it sleeps. as you stare at it, you can’t help but wonder whether hongjoong will still be upset with you come bedtime. there’s a spare room down the hall that you used to sleep in when you were nothing more than their sugar baby and it was too late for them to send you home alone. perhaps you’ll have to reside in that room tonight, cold and alone and unable to sleep without the warmth of your lovers on either side of you. the thought has you biting your lip to silence a sob.
it doesn’t quite work. you still involuntarily whimper, catching the attention of both seonghwa and yeosang. their hushed conversation halts to a stop as they see you at the doorway, eyes wide and wet as you stare up at the very tippy-top of the arch. your fingers tangle themselves up as they helplessly fiddle with one another, tugging and twisting and picking until blood begins to pool along one of your nail beds. seonghwa can’t recall a time he’s ever seen you like this, and there werewolf had certainly never. they share a wary look.
“my darling lamb,” seonghwa calls to you in a hushed voice. he doesn’t want to startle you by being too loud, but he needs to pull you from this anxious haze you’d found yourself trapped in. he can’t lie that he’s a little relieved when your red ringed eyes flicker over to meet his. smiling is the last thing he wants to do upon seeing you in this state, but he knows his gentle disposition will calm you; it always does. his lips curl up softly. “what happened?”
the werewolf that has taken up residence on your favourite rug watches with concerned eyes. ever since his arrival, you’ve been an annoying little shit. an absolute thorn in his side when he wanted nothing more than to have a peaceful existence in his new home. you have no respect for personal space, you never know when to shut up, and you’re always way too cheerful all the time. they were facts that yeosang just had to accept when he realised you weren’t threatened by his harsh growling and gnashing teeth. all those times he had you pinned to the floor, spit spraying as he warned you to leave him the fuck alone only to have you giggle in his face and call him pretty; that person is nowhere to be seen right now.
“pup?” he hums, deep voice grumbling as his worries work themselves into his tone. even though he quite thoroughly despised you on his entry to the house, it seems you have this magical ability to work your way into the hearts of anyone you set your sights on. you set your sights on him before you even knew him; it took you no time at all to become one of his top priorities. “tell us what’s the matter. we can’t help unless we know?”
you take a few tentative steps into the room, bare feet tapping lightly against the parquet floor. they’re so used to your thundering footsteps as you traverse the house at your excitable pace. the silent footsteps you take towards them make their skin crawl.
you reach the rug, gently lowering yourself until your bare thighs hit the soft fur. your pastel blue skirt—the one that seonghwa had picked out to match the werewolf’s fuzzy blue jumper—bunches up around your waist, but neither of them have the time to admire how perfectly slutty it looked. it hardly seems right when you continue to wordlessly snivel and whimper, not even bothering to lay yourself down alongside your favourite werewolf-shaped pillow.
“hongjoong was mean to me,” you whimper, and seonghwa can’t lie, it confuses him.
hongjoong is mean to you a lot. it’s how he punishes you for being a brat, bullying you into submission until you decide to be a good girl. he calls you names, pushes you around a little—it’s nothing too severe but still enough for him to have earned the reputation as the crueler of the two of them. for a second, seonghwa thinks he’s landed on the answer, you must’ve been a little too bratty and couldn’t handle the consequences…
but that still doesn’t make sense.
if you couldn’t handle the consequences then that must’ve meant you weren’t in the right headspace to be punished. that in itself is nothing new, although normally, you tend to realise that before you decide to go and act out. it could’ve been the case that you didn’t realise you weren’t feeling up for a punishment but then you should’ve used your safeword. the fact that you’re sat downstairs with him and yeosang and not snuggled up in hongjoong’s arms is testament to the fact that you can’t have done that either. his husband would never do something so utterly stupid as to let you out of his sight when you’re clearly still upset over a scene you stopped.
so what happened?
did you just force yourself to take a punishment you didn’t want? no. seonghwa knows you’re too smart to do that just like he knows his husband is too observant not to notice. it’s something else entirely. something that seonghwa just can’t put his finger on.
“i need a little more information than that, darling,” seonghwa coos as he leans forwards to rest his elbows on his lap. his chin sits prettily in the palms of one hand, the other coming to rest atop your head. he pets you a few times, his touch like a cloud as tries to soothe you. your shoulders relax a touch, but your fingers still pick at one another in your lap. seeing you in such a state makes his heart sink. “lamb, what exactly did hongjoong do to make you so upset?”
you sniffle, separating your hands for just a second to wipe your tears away. they fall right back onto your lap, twisting and tugging and smearing the blood around. seonghwa can’t help but be thankful that nothing in the house is pale enough to be stained by your blood; otherwise he’d be marching you the bathroom to wash your hands, begging you to tell him what happened as the two of you walk.
“he yelled at me,” you say simply, as if that would answer all of seonghwa’s questions. it doesn’t. in fact it only fills his mind with more.
“he yelled? as in he raised his voice?” seonghwa asks softly. he hopes that the answer is no; that you just mean that hongjoong has scolded you for something. it’s a little bit of a strong reaction for just a small telling off, but you have been known to take these sorts of things to heart.
but you nod, and seonghwa’s heart sinks. hongjoong never yells at anyone, let alone you, his little dove. seonghwa and yeosang pass an odd look between them.
“master yelled at you?” the werewolf hums as he shuffles his body closer to yours. an arm wraps around your waist and effortlessly tugs you until you’re lay flat against the rug alongside the pretty creature. he lays the hand atop your own, stopping you from doing any more damage to your nail beds. the blood that spills onto his hands is nothing that bothers him. “why would master do that?”
the question is more aimed towards seonghwa than it is you. as close as you are with the couple, it’s only really seonghwa that knows the inner workings of his husbands brain. he always has an explanation to everything hongjoong does…
“i don’t know,” he says, a frown taking over his beautiful features. you hate it because you know it’s your fault. you upset hongjoong, you got yelled at, you told seonghwa, and now you have upset him. every sign points to you…
“it’s my fault,” you whisper. yeosang’s arm tightens around your waist in an instinctive display of protection. from what, he isn’t too sure. “i just wanted him to take a break but he’s too busy right now. i should’ve known.”
of course. seonghwa could’ve guessed it would be down to stress. it’s been a rough few weeks for hongjoong, the stress of yeosang arriving and finding his way into their weird, mismatched family, mixed with an increase in customers with the jewellery business, it’s safe to say hongjoong had barely had a moment free. of course, yeosang has calmed a little by now, but that doesn’t take the stress of the business away from his poor husband. he’s still being worked half to death by demanding clients who have more money than sense.
seonghwa imagines that any moment now, his husband will come to his senses and see that you were just trying to do something nice. that you weren’t just being difficult for the sake of it—which, granted, you often are—but were instead just trying to take care of him. you lacked the grace and finesse that the two of them did, but you still tried. demons, it fills his heart with love to know that you desire to care for them in the same way they care about you. you’re such a precious little lamb for them; they must’ve done something very special in their past life to deserve you.
“oh, my lamb,” seonghwa mumbles through a soft smile, “you have nothing to blame yourself for except being at the mercy of your own empathy. you prodded him because you were worried and that’s very thoughtful of you. your daddy should be worshipping you for such a kind act. i’ll go and see if i can’t talk some sense into him, hm?”
he stands up, long flowing trousers pooling gracefully over his feet. his red nails dance along them as he straightens the material out, trying to iron out the creases with only his bare hands.
“i’ll be back soon,” he hums, “let your puppy take care of you for now.”
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The Scare (Alternate Ending)
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x gf!reader
Word count: 1.4K
Warnings: Angst, kidnapping, torture, descriptions of blood n torture, comfort, simon in ghost mode, idk what else
Summary: No summary ;) have fun
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Everyone knew Lieutenant Riley was cold. He was ruthless, cruel, heartless, and so much more. 
But there was one thing that made him soft. One person. 
You. 
Barely anyone knew that the Lieutenant had picked himself up a hot little thing and managed to keep her. The two of you had been together for 3 years now and he was so close to proposing. He was ready to spend his life with you. He was ready to make you his and give you his last name. 
But what happens when someone who shouldn’t know about you finds out about you?
***
Graves knew. Somehow he knew. He mentioned your name to Simon, “Ghost, that is not nice. How would your pretty little (Y/N) think of that?”
Simon shivered. 
And then he realised. 
Graves was coming for you.
***
You were curled up in bed, music playing in the background as you read one of your favourite romance books Simon had bought you. The lights were off, a single three-wick Bath and Body Works candle on your bedside table. It was peaceful. Cosy. 
You were on the 15th chapter before you head footsteps and your front door opening. 
Simon isn’t supposed to be home yet.
You check your phone. 
Simon would’ve messaged if he was coming home.
There was no message. And he wouldn’t surprise you like this. 
You sit up, turning off the music. The footsteps are doubled. There’s two people. 
Simon wouldn’t come home with someone else. This wasn’t Simon walking around your apartment. 
With trembling hands, you reach for Simon’s hidden knife, concealed under his side of the bed. You clutch in it a sweaty palm, silent praying that the person walking around your apartment is a friend, not a foe. The footsteps get closer. You take a deep breath.
The doorknob jiggles. Your anxiety skyrockets. There’s murmurs before a foot hits the door. 
1 kick…
2 kicks…
3 kicks before the door finally busts open, shattering the lock. 2 men, dressed in black military uniform, hold up their guns to aim for your head. You suck in a breath. 
“That her?” The first man asks. 
“Think so. She fits the description,” the other one responds.
You shiver. They barely acknowledge you as they speak. 
One of them steps closer to you, reaching for the knife in your hand. You strike, stabbing his wrist through the jacket he wears. He yells, “Bitch stabbed me!”
He pushes you, reaching down to grab his wrist, pulling out the knife. The other one walks over while you’re distracted, talking a hold of your arms and tying them behind your back. You yell before you hear the sound of duct tape ripping. Within seconds, there’s a piece over your mouth. You try to yell. No use.
They begin to speak to each other fast, so fast you can barely catch their words. 
Help me…
The one you stabbed wraps up his wrist with a cloth, before picking up your legs. The other picks up your torso. 
You thrash around in their arms, trying to get free as you kick the one you stabbed, He holds your feet together with one hand, barking out a quick, “Stop it!”
He has an American accent, you notice. They carry you out of your bedroom as you continue to thrash around. The front door comes into view. They have no care whatsoever, with you hitting your head on the wall. Black dots appear in your vision, slowly taking you out of consciousness. 
***
Simon stepped into the apartment the two of you shared, praying he wasn’t too late. 
The apartment was silent. 
The first bad sign.
He walks towards your bedroom, the door wide open. 
The second bad sign. 
The bed was empty, your candle was still lit, and your book was closed on your bed. 
With no bookmark. 
The third bad sign. 
He was too late. He knew he was too late.
***
2 weeks. 
16 days. 
16 nights you slept. 
24 hours you counted every day.
16 days you slept uneasy. 
Counting down the minutes until Simon would finally find you. 
At least, you hoped he would. 
The men brought you to what seemed like an old warehouse, locking you up in a dark grey rooms. 4 grey walls stared back at you. One little cot in the corner of the room, on the opposite wall, a door. A door you were dragged through every day to be taken to the room you were tortured in every day. They always asked the same questions. 
And they were all about Simon. 
You said nothing, of course. How could you betray him like that? He protects you, you protect him. 
Even if it meant the bruises on your arms would keep coming, the cuts on your back wouldn’t stop bleeding, the grumbling in your stomach wouldn’t stop getting louder, and the pain would just grow. 
You were willing to take it all for him. He was worth it. 
You stare up at the grey ceiling above you, sighing as you lay on the cot, silently praying that wherever Simon is, he’s safe, he’s eaten, and he’s healthy. And he’s looking for you. 
You know he probably is. He loves you. He tells you all the time that you’re his whole world. 
But a part of you can’t help but think that he isn’t coming. You know it’s a lie, Simon would never leave you. Especially when you know he loves you. 
You silently pray. And pray. 
Until the grey fades away and the black of sleep takes over.
*** 
On the morning of the 17th day, you woke up to gunshots. You shivered. Gunshots always meant bad things. At least, that’s what Simon says. 
You stand on shaky legs before getting down, sitting with your knees to your chest. Footsteps make their way closer to your room. Your anxiety skyrockets. The door flies open. 
On instinct, you crawl backwards, in fear. A hand reaches out to you. 
“Don’t fucking touch me!” you cry. 
“’s me, lovie! ’s me! ’s okay! You’re okay…’s jus’ me. ’s me, lovie…”
You know that voice. You know that accent. You know that way of not pronouncing ‘t’s. 
Simon. 
You peer your eyes open, to be met with a skull mask looking back at you. Acting on instinct, you throw your arms around him, letting out a loud sob of relief. His arms tighten, holding your body against him. He strokes your hair softly. 
“Prove it,” you whisper. 
“Prove what, lovie?” 
“Prove that you’re Simon…I can’t trust anyone right now…” you reply shakily. He nods, taking off his mask. “Si…” You shake your head. “Not enough…”
“You hate the smell of ketchup. You can’t stand vinegar in any of your food. You always light candles when you read. You forgive, but you never forget. You like chocolate and strawberry ice cream, but you can’t stand chocolate-covered strawberries. You love ‘The Rookie’, even though it’s inaccurate and it sucks. You need more?” he rambles. 
You giggle softly through the tears in your eyes, curling into him once more. 
“‘m here, ‘m here, I promise. ‘M not leavin’ you. Gonna take you home,” he smiles at you, still holding you against him. His eyes drift down to the bruises and the cuts and the dried blood on your arms. You notice his eyes, the soft glint in them gone, replaced by an angry look. He presses a finger into his ears. “Johnny, don’ spare any o’ them.”
You blink a few times to process his words but snuggle closer to him as he speaks to Johnny. He takes off his jacket, wrapping you in it. He holds you there for what seems like hours, though it’s merely 10 minutes. A sigh escapes his lips as he stands up, heading out of the room you’re both in. He keeps your head cradled against him, shielding you from the battle going on outside. 
He takes you onto a jet, a military one, you recognize. He sets you down on a seat, sitting next to you, holding onto you. “Simon…” his name escapes your lips as a whisper, your eyes starting to close again.
“Keep ‘em open, please. Lovie, I need t’ know you're still conscious. Please, keep ‘em open,” his free hand caresses your face. “Just a little longer, I promise.”
“Trying,” you respond. He smiles, continuing to play with my hair. “Hey Si?”
“Hmm?” He hums. 
“I love you.”
“I love you too, lovie.”
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stilinskibaby · 2 months
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brother's best friend.
PAIRING : stiles stilinski x mccall!reader.
CONTENT : fluff ๑ angst ๑ smut
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it started out as a childhood crush, as most longterm infatuations do. you couldn't have been older than four when you met stiles, your stiles. he was missing his front tooth and he spoke with a lisp.
he was wildly loud and animated and you know when you're a kid and you think a boy is so cute that you're sure there's hearts in your eyes. he spoke of playing dragons and knights with scott, “oh! and you can be the princess.”
it was a memory that you kept crawling back to, a time much simpler than now. you could have let out a cold laugh, now you were in constant fear of your life, scott’s life, stiles’ life. it wasn't anything you couldn't handle but you wished for the times when all you had to worry about was your silly schoolgirl crush on stiles.
today was surprisingly quiet, just defeating peter and dealing with the deadpool, you were tired. all of you were, but you kept an eye open just on the off chance that something would try to kill one of your friends.
you stared at your reflection in the mirror, and dotted some concealer under your eyes, anything to make it look like you got some sleep last night. you didn't have scott’s powers to fall back on, nor lydia’s intelligence and intuition. everyday you wondered if you'd be another human lost in the fight against the preternatural.
you tried to wipe the thoughts from your head before walking down the main hall of the high school, stiles stood leaning against his locker while your brother talked about god knows what.
you walked up to the two of them and tried to act normal. like stiles isn't a whole foot away from you, like his cologne isn't enough to make your knees quiver, like every little wink, smile and joke doesn't make you wanna beg him to love you.
you'd been dealing with this crush for as long as you have memories, it should be easier by now. it seemed like lately though, it was getting harder. almost like he was purposefully invading all your thoughts.
“helllloooo?” you came back to the present because of stiles’ voice and scott's hand waving in front of your face. your skin warmed from the embarrassment of getting caught zoning out.
“what? sorry, I'm just tired,” you sighed, seemingly having said that alot recently. but dealing with what you can only assume to be a unrequited crush is tiring. especially when that crush happens to be on your brother's best friend.
stiles eyes squinted with disbelief. if there was one thing you hated about the boy, it was his ability to tell when anyone was lying.
“right, anyways,” scott continued eyeing you from the corner of his eyes but you were already zoning out again.
your day continued on like that, just skating by with your mind constantly drifting back to stiles. it felt almost like you were cursed, your brain almost short circuiting whenever you tried to think of literally anything else.
before you knew it, as if on airplane mode you found yourself walking out the doors towards the jeep. since scott started working at the clinic, you'd just been riding home with stiles. and due to the supernatural nature of your life, it's easier this way.
you climbed into the jeep and tried to keep a semblance of calm. stiles scent was invading your nostrils, with his lacrosse gear in the back seat and him sitting directly next to you. a soft song played on the radio, and if your emotions weren't getting the best of you ; you'd romanticize the man before you.
you were almost never quiet when left alone with stiles, it almost like you don't know how to shut up when around him. so the silence filling the jeep was becoming a bit much even for the hyperactive mind of stiles stilinski.
“you sure you're okay, sunshine?” his hand awkwardly patted your leg. stiles has been calling you sunshine forever, it's yours-and-his special little thing and even when you feel like the world is crushing you, it still gives you butterflies.
you had be around ten, you sat on the bus one seat in front of stiles and scott. stiles was talking mindlessly about lydia ( 12 year olds and their crushes ). and some kid was in the seat in front of you talking about how weird you were. being just a kid, you were almost to tears until stiles heard what the unkind words sprouted from the kid’s mouth.
“you don't even know what you're talking about! she's like sunshine.”
you found yourself blushing and feeling embarrassed, just for the kid to start making fun of you and stiles.
you let the silence hang a bit longer, trying to buy some time to tell a somewhat believable lie. the jeep came to a stop in front of stiles’ house. your eyebrows knit together trying to remember if there was some prior agreement that you forgot about.
“i think i know exactly what you need!” stiles spoke excitedly, and your heart felt like it was gonna fall out of your chest.
“a-and what's that?” you tried to convey a sarcastic tone but your voice shook as spoke. you prayed to whoever was listening that he didn't notice.
his eyes scanned your face as if trying to pry into your mind and it would give him all the answers. “movie night! i know we haven't done one in forever, but i think it'll help get your mind off whatever is bothering you. I know scott is usually here for this,” he sighed a little and rubbed the back of his neck.
your heart warmed, you couldn't believe the absolute kindness this boy had to offer. though every moment around him, was a kick to ego and a kiss for your heart.
“thank you, stiles,” his hand still awkwardly sat on your thigh, burning a metaphorical hole through your jeans.
he grinned that big smile, the one where his whole face turns into pure joy. it took everything in you not to just kiss him right there. and right as you began to get the courage he pops open his door and falls out the jeep. you chuckled to yourself bitterly.
you followed him into his room where you plopped yourself down on the bed. “so what's on tonight, star wars again?” you giggled as you watched him fumble through his dvds.
“actually, i rented heathers last night just for you, i know it's your favorite!” this boy was going to kill you.
and just like old times, he made popcorn and let you lay on his chest. you thought you might throw up. watching your favorite film, with the biggest crush of your life and it started to feel like you were suffocating.
you sat up anxiously, leaning against the wall, stiles’ head lazily rolled to the side, watching your every move.
“stiles,” your voice shook, your lips quivered and you were rubbing your hands intensely.
“hey! woah, hey, it's okay, whatever it is, it's okay, what's got you so upset? did you kill someone or something?” he tried to joke and relieve the tension and at this moment you think that might be an easier conversation.
“no, no, nothing like that,” the Perception of rejection was getting to you, an anvil falling on your heart. you laughed bitterly, “actually, now it feels so dumb. i just, stiles, i-i love you. i love you so much and i cant, i tried to swallow it and for a while that worked,” you were basically sobbing now eyes closed and lip shaking and you were about to lose your breath.
“but i can't, and I can't keep pretending i dont, but it's killing me and that feels dramatic but please, please don't hate me.” he knew this was very serious for you, a girl that almost never let anyone see her cry. amd he didn't mean to, and he feels so bad for it but he laughs, it just thr awkwardness that's in his bones.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, please I didn't mean to laugh, but i guess it just seems so silly to me that you wouldn't just tell me or someone and let it get so bad.” he pauses almost like he's trying to find his words. and all you can think about is running, running as fast as you can but his hand is on your leg and you'd feel so bad for it.
“i can't believe you could be so oblivious, I've been trying to hint to you for years now that i felt the same,” you didn't let him finish his sentence instead, doing what you've always wanted to do : kiss him. your lips mold together perfectly, you felt so far away, like you were in a dream.
the dream felt more hazy, when his hands find your hips and pull you into his lap. you can feel his cock hardened underth you, restrained by his jeans. you grind against and whimper into his mouth.
“stiles, stiles if you don't do something right now,” your words were breathless, somewhere between a whimper and a whine. his fingers move quickly to undo his jeans, while you shed yourself of everything but your bra and panties. you always wore cute panties in a secret way to manifest this happening.
as soon as he has you below, his hands are moving to grope your tits, he groans, eyes scanning every inch of your body, trying to commit every part of you to memory.
“fuck, you're so pretty, baby.” his words go straight to your core, warm, wet and clenching around nothing. you're thoughtless, the only thing left in your mind is him, so you just whine.
his fingers trace around your hips and slide your thong to the side to get a view of your beautiful cunt.
“you ready?” you nod, and he shakes his head, as if a new man. “say it,” as his hands slide over every part of your body except where you need him most.
“m ready, please stiles need you, need your cock. please, please” you were practically begging so pumped himself a few times before sheathing his full length into your cunt. it's so deliciously painful.
“mm such a good girl, taking me so well,” he pressed his lips against your forehead in a long kiss. before giving you long thick strokes, ans his hand reaching between you to rub little circles onto your clit. you were seeing white as continued to fuck you, your fingernails scraping against his pale skin.
his teeth gritted as he moaned, trying so hard to hold back. “m close, please please.” you whined and he fucked you faster, and harder. rough groans falling out of his lips.
your climax was closing in on your, your nails skating harder against him, your legs closing in around his hips. you basically screamed your orgasm out against stiles neck. he chuckled to himself, proud he could do all this. he funally let go, fucking you both through your climaxes. and keeping his now soft cock in your cunt, to keep his cum in you. thank god for birth control.
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423 notes · View notes
smoochhyuka · 3 months
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Surprising Riize in lingerie <3
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Spoiling the boys.
○o。content warnings! NSFW, idol!riize, fem!reader, fairly detailed descriptions of lingerie, established relationship, service top!Shotaro, slightly subby!Eunseok, cunnilingus and no use of protection in Sungchans, oral m!receiving and very tame mean!dom in Wonbins, a wee bit of angst and orgasm denial in Sohees, mention of spanking and cunnilingus in Antons, unedited
Shotaro
You decide to surprise him after an especially difficult week, shyly opening the door, already wearing the new set you bought, closing it rapidly behind him in case a neighbor walks by.
It's a fairly classic set, a push-up bra, stockings and a lace slip in a color that compliments you the best.
Your cute Shotaro, with a big bouquet in his hand, is speechless, almost dropping the present. He bought them as an apology for being too absent lately.
He has a bright smile on his face, slowly handing you the flowers and taking off his shoes. "W-wow...", he stutters, "You really went all out for me today, baby."
He is a giggly mess, but at the same time he's frozen in place, just checking you out. He might ask you to do a little spin, but that's the extent of it. If you want to, you know, not stand around in the hallway anymore, you need to say something.
You lead him into the bedroom, just sit down at first, at the edge of the bed, and kiss slowly, taking things from there.
Even though you had sex numerous times already, he treats you like it's your first time all over again. Asking if you're alright, if you like what he's doing, what you crave at that moment, making sure to worship you~.
Exploring your body in a completely new way. Rubbing, biting, pinching or kissing new places. The most playful sex you two ever had.
He's going to buy you more lingerie in the future.
Eunseok
It's his birthday, the first one you two celebrate as a couple, actually. He has made a few jokes about birthday sex. Not a few, a lot. So many, you knew it wasn't a joke anymore. So you decided to grant him his wish.
You both sit in his car, it's a rather quiet drive to your apartment. At a red light, you call for his name, making him look over at you. What he didn't expect is that you already pulled down the top of your dress, revealing an almost fully transparent lace bra, hugging your tits cutely.
Let's just say he didn't stop at the following red lights.
You have no idea how you made it all the way up to your door while making out this intensely. He's pressing you against the apartment door while trying to turn the keys in the keyhole.
You just stumble into the living room, Eunseok is already taking off both of your clothes. You have never seen him this desperate before.
A lot of humping and wet french kissing, if you ever wanted to take charge, now is the time. Anything you say goes, you could tell him to jump, and he'll do it, holding his boner. ("Me when a bad bitch tells me to do something *🫡*")
If there is a kink he has been wary of previously, he'll also do it without giving it a second thought (realizing he has just been a little judgmental before...)
He'll be fairly rough, though, and cum really fast~ he can't control himself when you look this sexy.
Sungchan
Last time you two drank together, he told you how much he likes these cute négligées. It was a little bit of a comment on the side, not an actual request, but you still went ahead and bought a satin one in his favorite color.
You just left the shower, your boyfriend already in bed, mindlessly scrolling on his phone. He doesn't really look up as you lie down next to him, just as you start to run your hands along his chest, he turns off his phone.
Reacts rather composed. Smiling at you and pulling you closer, placing kisses on your cheeks, forehead and neck, whispering into your ear how beautiful and sexy you look.
In his mind, he is going full on caveman-mode. Awooga. Just wants to sex you.
Pampers you, he feels somewhat grateful you listened to him this attentively and work hard to impress him. You just need to lay back and enjoy what he's giving you. He starts by massaging your back a little bit, your hands, and moves on to your breasts.
Sungchan won't take off the négligée, just your panty underneath to slowly eat you out, giving you multiple orgasms.
"What did I do to deserve this?" "I am a really lucky bastard." "You're seriously spoiling me, Y/N."
Sensual, hot and deep missionary. Omits the condom, he doesn't care tonight.
Wonbin
You know he likes cute things. While scrolling through TikTok, you saw an ad for an online shop that sells cute character and animal themed lingerie, and decided it'll probably be right to your boyfriends ally. You had no specific plan or date in mind, when to wear it, though.
Today he promised to come visit you right after dance practice, but they're taking a lot longer than anticipated and you're growing restless. It's the perfect time to whip out the set and send him a picture, in hopes he'll hurry up!
You begin to worry as he has opened the message, but didn't answer for a whole 25 minutes.
"Open the door." is his only response.
He's panting, still in his dance clothes, and you're hit with an overwhelmingly strong smell of his perfume, probably because he dumped the whole bottle on himself. "I came here as fast as I could."
You're still wearing the set, Wonbin pulls you closer to him and shamelessly checks you out, pulling the fabric to the side, revealing a little bit more of your tits. "Someone has gotten really desperate, huh? To wear something like this?"
Cocky Wonbin! Ignore that fact that he just sprinted to come see you. He literally feels like he's won in life.
This cockiness translates into the sex itself as well, he's getting a little bit of a snarky and mean!dom.
"Show me how much you missed me." as he leans back, pumping his dick leisurely, instruction you to kneel down in front of him.
Sohee
It's your six months anniversary, you just returned home from a wonderful and fun date and want to relax at home for the rest of the evening, maybe watch a new show or play a game.
At least that's what Sohee thought, you had gotten seriously horny throughout the day. He treated you so well, so delicately, and he has said some seriously cute and heartfelt things to you -- how can you not want to fuck his brains out!
You know how your boyfriend is like when he's horny, and this is definitely not it, so you need to help out with a few tricks. You excuse yourself, going to your room to change while he waits in your living room.
You pull out the only type of sexy underwear you own, it's a simple lace bra and matching thong. Since you're already wearing make-up, jewelry and have your hair done, you look hot already, even if it's a generic outfit.
Sohee is a little taken aback, he didn't expect this at all, and it shows in his reaction. At first, you grow a little insecure, worried you might have taken it too far.
After composing himself, he just pats the spot next to him, urging you to sit down. "When have you become so bold?" he asks you in a sultry voice, freely letting his hands wander, kneading your boobs. "You should've told me you needed a little help, sweetheart..."
Teases you with his fingers, plays with your clit, but denies you orgasms. He's showing you a different side of him you didn't expect.
Tells you to ride him, you're now fully naked while he's still wearing all his clothes. Every time you get close to an orgasm, he pulls you off, effectively edging himself as well.
No because he got the biggest confidence boost.
Anton
He spoils you so much, with presents, kisses, massages and cuddles, so you figure it's only fair to give something back.
You invited him over, both wearing proper attire, Anton a dress pant and shirt, you are in a black mini dress, eating a homemade candlelight dinner at your kitchen counter.
You already planned the whole night, just waiting for the right moment to go into your room and change into the little négligée you already arranged.
He's cutely complimenting everything: your looks, the food, the atmosphere, the effort you put into it. He is grinning from ear to ear the whole night, shyly praising you for breathing.
As you both start to wash the dishes, you excuse yourself, telling him you need to take off the heels you have been wearing. In actuality, you're keeping them on, just taking off your underwear and slipping into the different set of clothes.
Confused by the sound of your heels on the floor, Anton turns around to ask why you haven't taken them off, just to see you wearing something even sexier, more revealing than before.
In all honesty, he already had a massive boner the entire night, this was just his tipping point.
Picking you up and carrying you back into the backroom, dishes abandoned, he will make sure to show you how much he appreciates your effort.
He's desperate, horny, and rougher than usual. Hot, wet kisses on your pussy, sensual and deep thrust from behind, he might even spank you a little bit if you're fine with it. Two, three or four rounds, as long as you can keep up. He's greedy tonight.
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silkscream · 6 months
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tender is the flesh
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ੈ✩ synopsis: in which you're the only thing that can make the strongest sorcerer of the jujutsu world weak.
ੈ✩ cw: smut (minors dni), angst, yandere-adjacent gojo (he is so obsessed with you), religious imagery, unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamics, body worship, lots of biting, dacryphilia, possessive gojo
ੈ✩ wc: 2.5k
ੈ✩ a/n: [giggles nervously] gojo really went feral mode in this one! honestly this had more angst in mind because i was feeling So Horrible and then when i started writing the smut... someone else took over. anyways gojo is so obsessed with you that it might be a little unhealthy. like wants to live in your skin unhealthy. i think i actually wrote that word for word in the fic that's how down bad he is. runs away
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gojo satoru won’t admit it to anyone, but he’s started to consider you an extension of himself. the missing piece, the phantom limb, however the cliche goes. even when he had ended things for the better, the ache would never dissipate until he found you again.
out of his own selfishness, he did.
once gojo had made up his mind that he was in love with you, he thought peace would come along with it. it did, in some aspects — your presence often acted like a summer breeze that eased his nerves. the warmth of your smile shined brighter than the sun.
and then other times, being in love with you was a new kind of violence. it churns in satoru when he’s alone, knotting in his stomach like a caged beast.
he knows you aren’t delicate. he’s watched you in all your beauty, all your bloodshed surrounded by the slain bodies of cursed spirits. he has held your calloused hands in his just to feel the pulse on your wrist. it’s a habit for him now whenever he touches you.
he has softened himself so much for you that he’s terrified to know that you’ve seen him in battle. he often wishes he could hide that from your memory, maybe make it disappear completely — the sadism that sparks in his eyes when he’s busy with his hands against curses and curse users.
he can’t suppress that violence within him — the one raging at him to leave you, ruin you, kill you. (he’d much rather you kill him, instead.)
right now, the sound of your even breathing is all that fills satoru’s ears despite the dread in his chest. when you twitch the slightest bit in your sleep, he has his arms around you in an instant, chin rested on the top of your head.
“satoru?”
“mm? thought you were asleep, baby.”
you nuzzle your nose into his bare chest. he can feel your eyelashes flutter against his skin. he chuckles when he notices you’re trying to adjust to make your face level to his.
“have you been awake this whole time?”
“uh… yeah,” he sighs. he doesn’t have an excuse this time like he usually does, but he’d rather die than relay his late-night thoughts to you out loud.
“can’t sleep?”
“i should be asking you that,” he chuckles. he tucks a stray strand of your hair behind your ear and moves to comb his fingers across your scalp just the way you like. the feeling of it makes you shiver.
“i was having one of those dreams,” you whisper. “the ones where i’m like, half awake. and you’re there, holding me.”
“yeah?”
“mhm. and then i tried to adjust so i could kiss you, and… and then you disappeared.”
“i’d never disappear on you.”
but you did. you don’t say it out loud, because you don’t blame him for trying to leave you the way he had months before.
he’d told you once that being with him was a death sentence in itself. it took a great amount of sacrifice and carnage for him to realize that you would never let that happen by your hand. he had discovered it in your bloody hands and the shallow breaths you’d taken after countless missions.
“i’m glad it wasn’t a nightmare.”
“what do you mean?” you coo, your big eyes blinking back at him. “not being able to kiss you sounds like a nightmare to me.”
he lets out a breathy laugh. he replies by giving you a peck on your hairline.
“satoru.”
“yes?”
“do you ever get nightmares?” you yawn.
it’s an innocent question. satoru is more likely to say no, because usually he has a dreamless sleep. he hasn’t gotten nightmares since suguru died, and even then, satoru has seen more gore and split limbs than a normal man should. he also recognizes that he isn’t a normal man.
“never. not when i get to sleep next to you.”
“right. six eyes isn’t afraid of anything.”
“that’s not true.”
“oh, yeah? what scares you, then?”
he holds your chin in between his fingers and his thumb.
“you, honestly.”
“me?” you giggle in genuine surprise.
“yes, you. i don’t think you have any idea of what power you hold over me.”
“says the strongest sorcerer,” you tease, rolling your eyes.
“i’m serious,” he mutters. “it’s terrifying, really. sometimes i want— i want you so selfishly. to own you. you’re so—”
“i’m what, satoru?” your voice is a wavering murmur now. he’s sure he’s scared you now.
“completely unprecedented. it’s fucking ridiculous.”
he would tell you he loves you, but that would make it real. real in the sense that those three words are an incantation that would most likely lead the both of you towards doom. despite already hurtling towards it, he prefers to delude himself by telling you in a million different ways that you make him weak.
he’s already accepted his spot in hell. on the other hand, you are too heavenly to accompany him, so he’ll keep you in this lifetime.
satoru rubs his hand on the soft skin of your neck and shoulder. in a certain lens, it’s innocent and loving. nurturing, even. but you know better.
gojo satoru sees you as his other half, as a necessity to the very fiber of his being, and he still wants to wreck you.
he dreams of it often. he usually has you tied up in red rope, something soft and pretty and comfortable. he likes the image of you docile, your skin so supple and malleable underneath his large hands.
you curl into satoru because you know that’s what he craves. you exhale into his collarbone and he thinks he might just lose his mind.
“you’re weird, six eyes.” there’s more that you want to say but you don’t know how to piece it all together in a way that makes sense. all the desire crawling out of your throat comes out in hushed breaths.
“i’m horrible.”
“no,” you grin. “just weird. but i like you that way.”
admittedly, you are on the brink of sleep. meanwhile, he is on the brink of imploding into himself if he doesn’t feel your touch. so, of course, he takes matters into his own hands.
you barely question it when satoru touches his full lips to yours. luckily for him, you don’t mind, either. he’s more than ecstatic to feel you melting into his body as you kiss him back, his tongue pillowy as it teases yours.
you’ve done this before with him plenty of times, but it would be a stretch to say that you’re particularly used to it. in every way, his mouth anywhere on your body makes you feel electric. in your sleepy haze, you accept it, because you’re convinced you’ve never felt anything better.
when his mouth leaves you, you can’t help but mewl pathetically.
“what is it, baby?” he rasps.
“don’t stop.”
“what do you want, hm?” he teases. “tell me.”
if you were more awake, you’d flush and retreat into yourself out of embarrassment. there’s a part of satoru that wishes to see that part of you right now.
in a sick, twisted way, it turns him on even more — the prospect of you being so unaware of how obsessed he is with you. of how he’d be more than content with simply living in your skin, knowing all the ways you move and all the ways you tick. he has you memorized, certainly, but he hasn’t gotten ahold of all of you. he’d forfeit his status and his work just for a bit just so he could learn all of you from the inside out.
satoru is so sure that his desire for you is too much. so much that it would disgust you the same way it disgusts himself. and it’s not that he finds the act of wanting you disgusting — it’s the mere caliber of his desire. it’s become otherworldly.
he’d rather coax out a confession from you, instead, just so he can feel better about himself.
“want more.” the sound of your voice is small. pathetic.
“want more what, huh? be more specific.”
“i— i want you to touch me. please?” you stammer. your eyes blink up to satoru’s for just a moment and he swears it’s the most adorable sight. the usual sharpness of his gaze softens.
he chuckles, reveling in the desperation of your voice.
“where? here?”
you hiss at the feeling of his long fingers cupping the damp mound of your underwear, reflexively bucking into his palm. he’s so tantalizing with how he moves the fabric to the side. your wetness gathers on his fingertips as he rubs your clit.
“y-yeah.”
“so pent up,” he groans. “all because you couldn’t kiss me in your dream, hm?”
“fuck.”
“my poor baby. ‘s so easy to make you feel good, isn’t it?”
you mewl his name, turning each syllable a staccato. your blink wildly at the feeling of his teeth gnawing at your collarbone as he keeps a steady rhythm on your clit. the movements are so gentle yet rapid. the coil inside of you is so close to breaking.
your eyes are squeezed in anticipation of your release. it’s probably good that you aren’t looking at his face, because the way satoru stares down at you is something indescribable. he looks at you like you created him. he’ll probably get sick from how prodigious his love is. his devotion will be the cause of his ruination.
“s-satoru! i’m— ”
“shhh,” he coos into your ear. “s’okay. you’re so good, look at you. so fucking pretty.”
you don’t even notice the tears pricking the corner of your eyes. when you look into satoru’s blue ones, you gasp at how blown out his pupils are, visible even in the dimness of your room.
he grins like a devil. he’s determined to have you overdose on him just so he can be the one to bring you back to life.
“fuck, don’t look at me like that,” he groans. “i’ll cum before i’m even inside you.”
satoru lifts up your (his) t-shirt so he can hook his teeth around your nipple. one hand grasps your waist hard enough to bruise while his other hand covers your mouth. he slips his fingers onto your tongue. when you suck obediently, licking up your taste, satoru makes a wounded sound, a whimper like a devoted dog.
you want to kiss him, lick into his mouth, but the hold he has on your hips is resolute, as if he’s sure that you’ll disappear. his demeanor is always wild during intimacy, often cocky, but this time it’s more primal than usual.
“so fucking cute when you fall apart for me,” he mumbles, his mouth moving upwards now to suckle on your collarbone. “just for me, yeah?”
“mhm,” you moan. his hands all over you makes your mind completely erratic. you barely register his words after chasing the high of your orgasm.
“say it. want you to say it.”
“’m yours, satoru,” you whine. “all of this — ah! — just for you.”
your legs are shaking so much from his fingers on your clit again. he has you overstimulated from his touch. the sounds that come out of your mouth have to be awakening something divine in him. the knife inside him twists inward.
“mine, mine, mine,” he mutters into your skin, slotting his hips with yours. he enters you without warning, a hard thrust that has your body bending to his will.
“no one wants you more than i do, you know that? if anyone even tries to test me, i’d kill them.”
“satoru—”
you can barely grasp language at this point. he laughs a little when he sees your eyes roll back and the sound of it is both melodic and a little mean.
“oh my god,” you whimper. tears start falling down your cheeks.
satoru might be a sadist — the sight makes his heart fucking swell. he wants to tear you apart and put you back together. he wants to worship you.
and god, the begging. the aching way your voice breaks as you say his name and the word please.
he’s carnal with his teeth at your throat. his hips stutter when he feels how tightly you suck him in, how he can feel your cunt contract when he hits a certain spot.
satoru thinks he’s been hungry for you all his life. if being the strongest sorcerer wasn’t his reason for being alive, he thinks that being able to see you sprawled out like this underneath him is reason enough.
satoru is many things. he’s arrogant, assured, depraved. he’s certainly annoying to anyone that knows him. but above all, to nobody else but you, he is fucking obsessive.
he loses himself in your pussy. with his cock pushed inside you to the hilt, he is yours and no one else’s. no one else can touch him like you do. no one else touches him.
“i’m so close,” you gasp.
“poor thing. is that what’s got you crying so much?” he taunts.
“y-yes! fuck—”
“you’re so pretty when you cry. i love it.”
you flush under his gaze, heat pooling in your stomach. when you attempt to cover your face with your arms and at least wipe away your tears, satoru holds down your wrists.
“don’t hide from me,” he groans. “wanna see my pretty girl when she cums.”
he can feel his dick twitching inside of you. you’re so fucking tight. the lewd sound of him drilling into you is obscene, but the look on your face is fucking divine.
he loves to claim you, to mark you up. he remembers how much you like it, too, especially when his long, pretty fingers are around your throat. he squeezes just the tiniest bit and you gasp in pleasure.
“more, more, more—”
“i know, baby, i know.”
satoru likes his name best when it comes from your mouth. especially when you’re crying, your voice shaking just as violently as your thighs.
he takes the opportunity to be even rougher, his other hand toying with your clit as he coaxes your release. you’re overwhelmed, flooded with a euphoria that stimulates the whole of your body.
“fuck, y’feel so fucking good,” he grunts. with his cock wrapped in the velvet of your cunt, satoru feels like he’s on top of the fucking world. above the heavens, too, probably.
“cum inside me,” you strain. “please.”
“yeah? you want it that bad?”
he presses into you further, lifting your legs so that your ankles dangle past his shoulders.
“yes— need it so bad, fuck!”
he curses with a growl rumbling in his chest. he soaks your insides with his warmth until it leaks out of you.
this is satoru’s form of worship. the stutter of his breaths, the slight tremble of his hands as they caress your jaw. the all-consuming kiss.
it rouses something terrifying inside you. in a way, it mirrors the beast in him. gods and monsters, the two of you.
the room is filled with the sound of both of your breaths evening out, heartbeats syncing together.
“jesus christ.” you clear your throat.
“you okay?”
“i’m perfect,” you reply in a haze. even after cumming, satoru wants to lick the sleepy grin off your mouth. or maybe make you cry again.
for now, he basks in your warmth, indulges in the way you bring him back to earth after making him ascend to heaven.
“yeah, you really are.”
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Note
hii! welcome back!! i love love love your writing:)
i’m not sure if you’ve written something like this but the reader is stressed over studying for an exam, she’s in the library until very late at night when one of the marauders (i can’t decide who, you can choose!) finds her dozed and trying to force herself to stay awake. then he finds out she hasn’t been eating properly. then he asks “are you okay?” and that’s what it takes for her to break down into tears? sorry if this is weird! i’m usually a silent reader. so mostly just a lot of angst and comfort, then fluff? thank you for taking time to read this! it’s okay if you can’t write it!
thank you so so much again! so glad you requested 😊 really hope you like it!!
pairing: Remus Lupin x reader word count: 1.4k description: fluffy; i left it up to you a bit at what stage you read their relationship
All the words finally made sense. It was like a puzzle. And it all fit together just like this. Or wait was it a different way? Should you go back to that first thread or follow this new one? Wait what was the first one again? There were some words. You couldn’t remember the words, but you knew how important it was that you put them in the right order…
“Sweetheart…”
What?
“Sweetheart…” you hear again.
You open your eyes and see a bunch of crowded words on parchment right in front of you. You realize you’d fallen asleep on your notes, that they’d bled into your stress dreaming. 
“There you are.” The voice is warm and gentle. You know it.
“You fell asleep, love. It’s late. Thought it was weird I never saw you come back, so I came to look for you.” 
“Remus?”
“Yeah, pretty girl. It’s me. Wake up.” 
You sit up, and Remus adjusts your hair and jumper for you as you rub at your face. 
“I was studying.”
“I know,” he chuckles. “But I think you need some rest now, don’t you?”
“Don’t I need some rest, or don’t I think so too?”
Remus laughs softly. 
“Too clever for your own good. Get out of study mode, lovely,” he tells you, bringing his hand to your head and scratching your scalp playfully.
You lean into it on instinct, loving his touch and his comfort after a long, lonely day in the library. Remus had wanted to study with you or at least keep you company, knowing how stresses out you were about this upcoming exam, but you told him he was too distracting and you’d find him later. That must’ve been many hours ago. 
Remus notices you shifting into his touch, and he slides his whole body closer to you. 
“Hey, you okay?” he whispers. 
“I..” you start, thinking “I’m fine” will come out automatically as it always does. But it gets stuck in your throat. It gets stuck on a lump there that is making itself more and more felt. 
“I…” you try again, but this time your voice completely cracks. 
“Hey, hey, come here, sweetheart. It’s okay,” Remus responds, bringing you into his embrace. He holds your head to his chest, wraps his other arm around you, caressing your back. 
You immediately start sobbing. 
“It’s alright,” he keeps repeating. He holds you close and pets you more intensely. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumble through panting breaths into his jumper. 
“It’s okay,” he says quickly in his warmest tones. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m just sorry I didn’t come look for you earlier.”
“Ugh, I’m so embarrassed,” you admit, pulling back and wiping your face with your sleeves, not feeling brave enough to look him in his warm brown eyes. “You shouldn’t need to take care of me. I should be able to do that myself. I just got a little carried away. I don’t know why I’m freaking out so much over this exam.” 
He shakes his head gently at you and brings his hands to either side of your face, lifting it to look into his and caressing your cheeks with his thumbs. 
“There’s nothing embarrassing about caring a lot, Y/N. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t,” he smiles adoringly. “And there’s nothing wrong with needing people, love. I’m happy to be here for you. I just wish you’d let me.” 
You nod slightly and manage to keep his gaze. 
“I’m sorry,” you repeat. 
“No more of that. You don’t have to be sorry, okay?”
“Okay…” 
“I mean it, Y/N,” he says with a gentle firmness only Remus could deliver. 
“Okay,” you say more certainly. 
“Good.” 
He kisses your forehead quickly then goes to pack up your stuff. As he’s stacking your notes, your stomach makes a low rumble. Just when you thought you couldn’t be more embarrassed. 
“When’s the last time you ate?” His tone is chiding but teasing. 
“We had that pie…” 
“With me?!” he startles. You nod. 
“Baby, that was ages ago. Come on, we’ll find you something.” 
Remus takes your bag, just tssking at your pathetic objection as he adjusts the strap on his shoulder. He takes your hand, and you walk out of the library together. 
You walk in silence, but just Remus’s presence next to you gives you a quiet peace you’d definitely been missing. You lean your head on his shoulder the rest of the way, and he can’t stop his subtle smile the entire time.
When you get to the common room, he sits you down on the sofa, rubbing your shoulders dotingly and kissing the crown of your head before standing straight up. You’re confused why he’s not already sitting next to you. 
“I’ll be right back, okay?” You pout at his words. “I know, I’ll be quick, sweetheart; I promise.” He turns to go then turns back to you. “Those notes better still be stuffed in your bag when I get back.” He points a finger at your bag then at you, and you giggle and nod. He wags his finger a bit in emphasis, staring at you hard, then turn and bounds up the stairs toward the boy’s dormitories. 
It’s a mere couple of minutes later you hear him bouncing back down, but you’re confused to hear multiple sets of footsteps. You turn and see Remus walking back toward you and Sirius walking toward the door. 
“Hi, Y/N/N,” says Sirius. “So needy, aren’t you?” he teases then is out the door. 
“Where’s he going?” you ask Remus as he settles in next you. 
“He’s going to sneak into the kitchens for us.” You go to object, but Remus softly places his fingers on your lips. “He’s happy to, lovely. No matter how much he denies it, Sirius is a sweetheart.” 
“I know he is, Rem, but I really hate being all this trouble. All over a little exam.”
“It’s a big exam and very little trouble. We’re your friends, Y/N. When are you going to let us be here for you as much as you’re here for us?” 
“I don’t know,” you whisper honestly. You look down and are mortified to feel on the brink of tears again. Godric, you really did need some sleep.
“Hey, don’t cry,” Remus starts, but quickly adds, “Or do, if you need to. Just do what you need to do, and I’m here, okay?” 
He’s the sweetest person alive, you think, and you throw yourself into his arms. He chuckles at your affection but returns it immediately. You shift till his arms are around you, and you lift your legs into his lap, which he lovingly welcomes, pulling you close. 
“You’re really kind, Rem, you know that?”
 “Am I? Not doing much really.” 
“I’ll start letting you help me with things when you start taking my compliments,” you say through a strained, tired smile. 
“I’ll work on it,” he cedes.
You sit in silence together, the fire crackling nearby, Remus’s hands caressing you, and you find yourself dangerously close to sleep. Your eyes feel really heavy, keeping them open a struggle in vain. 
Remus feels you tense up every once in a while before slowly relaxing into him again. 
“It’s okay, baby,” he whispers into your hair. “Just rest, okay? When Sirius gets back, we’ll have something to hold you over, and then I’m sending you to bed.” 
“I don’t wanna go to bed.” You sound like a little kid, and he chuckles at you. 
“You have to rest, Y/N. No more studying tonight.” 
“I wasn’t gonna,” you say, your voice slurred with sleep. “I don’t wanna go to bed because I want to be with you.” Even in your sleepy state, you register Remus tense slightly at this clarification. 
“You’re the only thing that’s relaxing, Rem,” you go on. Your exhaustion is making you honest, your lacking the energy to over-think and filter. “You’re so warm and sweet, and I like how you care about me… and how you smell.” You nuzzle into his jumper. 
Remus is quiet, but he squeezes your body against his. Then softly, before you fall asleep, you hear his whisper, “Yeah, I care about you, darling. Adore you actually. More than anything.” A beat. “Okay, sweet girl. If this is how you’ll fall asleep, I’ll hold you all night.” He kisses your head again and adds, “I’ll hold you for forever if you’ll let me…”
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haddonfieldwhore · 11 months
Text
promise me? - mike schmidt
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mike schmidt x gn!reader
warnings: a bit of angst but i think that’s it. i don’t know fnaf lore super well so if anything is inaccurate i apologize!! i’m trying my best
word count: 750
you arrived home from work around 8pm, a little later than usual due to heavy traffic on one of the main roads. quietly dropping your keys on the table just inside the door, you turned the lock to your small apartment. it wasn’t the greatest neighborhood, but it was all you could afford, and it had everything you needed. lately, your boyfriend mike had been staying with you, and he had gotten a night job as a security guard at a kids pizza place, which meant he was asleep right now as you crept through the apartment, the cold floorboards creaking under your weight as you walked down the hallway towards the bedroom.
mikes new job had him working 12-6am, less than ideal hours to say the least, but a job was a job, and it seemed pretty easy from what he had told you; all he had to do was watch the security cameras. it would only be his third night on the job today, but you could tell the change in sleep schedule was hard on mike. placing your bag on the floor softly, and your eyes landed on mikes sleeping form, the blankets tangled around his legs as he snored softly. you smiled, and lifted his arm carefully to crawl into bed next to him. his arms encircled you automatically, and he sighed contently as you snuggled into his chest, feeling the warmth radiating off of his body.
“hey,” he grumbled softly, his voice deep with sleep. “what time is it?”
“hey,” you smiled, even though his eyes remained closed. “it’s just after eight, you still have time to sleep.” he hummed happily in response, pulling you closer to him and kissing the top of your head as he drifted off to sleep again, and you quickly followed.
the sound of mikes alarm woke you up, and you tried to hide your head under the covers to block out the sound, as mike reached for his phone to turn it off.
“don’t go,” you mumbled, reaching for him to attempt to pull him back into your arms. he laughed at you and sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.
“i would rather stay here, trust me.”
“is it really that bad?” you asked, sitting up as he got out of bed and began to get dressed, sliding on a pair of dark jeans and a grey hoodie. he did up the buckle of his belt as he stepped into his work boots, and he looked up at you, his tired eyes meeting yours.
“no, it’s…. it’s just - we’ll you know how they have those animatronic characters?”
“yeah,” you nodded, remembering them from when you were younger.
“they get left in this… free roaming mode at night. i don’t know it’s really weird.”
“isn’t that a little dangerous?” you asked, a worried look spreading across your face. mike seemed to think for a moment, and then sort of shook his head.
“no, i mean- they’re just robots for kids. it’s just a little creepy,” he replied, and you weren’t sure he was being 100% truthful.
“mike, if you were in danger you would tell me right?”
“of course. i didn’t mean to scare you. i think my imagination gets the better of me sometimes,” he walked over to give you a soft kiss on the lips.
“promise me if anything else weird happens you’ll quit, okay?” you pleaded. as much as you both needed the money, that wouldn’t matter if something bad happened to mike.
“i promise,” he agreed. “i gotta go. i love you.”
“i love you too.”
mike grabbed his wallet off the dresser and opened the bedroom door before turning back towards you.
“i’ll see you in a few hours. get some sleep okay?”
you nodded as you laid back down and pulled the blankets over yourself, trying to mimic the feeling of his body heat next to you. you listened to his footsteps as he walked down the hall and out the door, followed by the familiar click of it locking behind him. you sighed, closing your eyes as you tried not to worry about what he had said. you trusted him; if there was really something wrong, he would tell you.
besides, how dangerous could a children’s restaurant be, right?
2K notes · View notes
starvity · 9 months
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heyy! you can totally ignore this is ur not comfy but i’m sick (and delusional) rn so how would zb1 react to reader having a nose bleed when they’re hiding their sickness 🫶
anyways i love all your work so farrr <33
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— ☆ zb1 reacting to you getting a nose bleed
gn!reader x zb1 (ot9)
genre: slight angst, fluff // warnings: BLOOD obviously, arguments/yelling, tears uhuh. reader is sick and tired...
author’s note: get well soon anon :(( i am once again writing angst today what is happening!!! thank you for requesting though hehe and let me call jebewon real quick and tell them to take care of you!!! (★ω★)/ [requested♡]
ੈ✩‧₊˚ jiwoong
he would totally panic but only internally. in reality, he will try to act composed to take care of you and your nose bleed. will get you some tissues and a warm towel to wipe the blood stains off your nose. once he made sure the nose bleed had stopped, his panic mode will comeback and he's going to ask you thousands of questions!! if you tell him that it's not the first time that it has happened this week he will obviously lecture you and force you to cuddle with him until you get better. "didn't i tell you to stay in bed?" jiwoong asks. "i'm just going to open the door, calm down." you chuckle, trying to get behind your boyfriend who was standing in front of the door, blocking it. a sudden smile breaks the serious look on his face. he lifts you up and throws you on the bed. "i'll be your legs for this week so stay here, will you?"
ੈ✩‧₊˚ hao
very confused when you were casually talking on the couch and he notices the blood dripping from your nose. probably like :O for a few seconds before you kindly ask him to get you some tissues. trips and bumps into furniture a few times on his way to the bathroom because he's confused and panicked. however, when you tell him you've been kinda sick but you were hiding it from him, prepare yourself to get yelled at lmao. of course, not to the point to make you cry but i see him just screaming some incoherent sentences (definitely curses in chinese under his breath lol) about how you need to take your health seriously. in the end, he will softly kiss you and make a promise to never hide anything from the other again :]
ੈ✩‧₊˚ hanbin
leader mode activated!!!! as soon as he noticed your nose was bleeding, he tells you not to panic as he gets a tissue from his bag. he softly places it on your face and explains to you what's happening. you might think he's the calmest one but his eyes can't lie!! he's looking at you with such a concerned face when you tell him your health hasn't been the best lately. you chuckle, letting him know that he doesn't need to worry. he sighs and takes your hands in his, asking you to please tell him when you're sick so he can help you with chores, work, etc. throughout the week, when you get up to cook, clean or even go out instead of resting, he will call your name sternly and point to the bed with a small nod, indicating you to go lie down before he does it himself.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ matthew
super confused n°2. when he notices you rushing to the bathroom from your desk, he doesn't really question it. but when he goes to wash his hands and sees the blood-stained tissues in the trashcan, he knew something wasn't right. matthew comes up from behind you, who was super focused writing on your laptop, and wraps his arms around your torso. he starts pressing some kisses along your jawline, suggesting you to take a break. when you don't seem to move at his words, he turns your chair around and cups your cheeks with his hands. upon seeing the tired look on your face, he asks if you've been sick lately. when you tell him you were but didn't want to tell him, he takes you in his arms and carries you to the bed. you end up talking a bit (mainly matthew ranting about how much he loves you and how you should take care of yourself) before falling asleep.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ taerae
takes it extremely seriously. your nose starts bleeding again and you sigh, grabbing another tissue. the box was almost empty with the amount of times it had happened this week. you reassure taerae that you were used to it as his eyes widen. he cannot believe you've been hiding the fact that you were sick from him and worse, that you lied; saying you were fine whenever he asked you how you were doing. i wouldn't even be surprised if a small argument occured because i feel like taerae would base his relationships on trust and you hiding something from him will definitely hurt him a little. probably gives you the silent treatment for 3 hours (cause he's just dramatic like that) before coming back to your shared room to check up on you. when he discovers that you still haven't taken a break he throws a blanket on your face and drags you to the bed (on the floor, if he has to). wouldn't talk for a good 20 minutes before sighing and telling you to never hide anything from him again. he also apologizes for the small fight and kisses your face over and over again <3
ੈ✩‧₊˚ ricky
like every friday, ricky was taking you on a date. you had fallen sick at the beginning of the week and you kinda wish you could’ve staid home today. but since it was the only day you two could really hang out, you didn't want to cancel your plans. you were sitting on the bed, waiting for ricky who takes forever to get ready. your head starts spinning so you briefly close your eyes in hope that the feeling will go away. you hear him softly call your name, asking your opinion on which tie would suit him better. and you know how they get nose bleeds when they see someone attractive in anime? well today, ricky thought that it could also happen in real life. he starts to laugh, saying how your body can't handle his charm, in a teasing voice. when you tell him it's because you've been sick though, his smile drops immediately. he can't really hide the embarrassing blush on his ears as he apologizes for this bad "joke" (he was completely serious). "then let's stay inside today, yeah?" he suggests, opening his arms for a hug.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gyuvin
another dramatic one omg... i also see him being kinda terrified of blood so he will probably throw you some tissues from a distance, his face turned away from you and his eyes shut. you can't help but laugh at his behaviour while he screams that it's not something to joke about and that he will call his mom to drop you off at the hospital. "i've just been feeling kinda sick, don't worry about it", you confess but he suddenly grabs your face, shaking it slightly "why didn't you tell me!?", he screams. gyuvin abruptly stops his action, his face growing dark again when he thinks about the possibility of another nose bleed happening from shaking you like this. later, you end up watching a movie together, finally allowing yourself to rest. you can't help but giggle every 5 minutes when you turn your head just to see gyuvin staring at you with big eyes "are you REALLY sure you're okay??". please kiss him and tell him you're alright for the nth time today because my man is STRESSED.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gunwook
see, gunwook is super attentive so i don't think it would be so easy to hide the fact that you were sick. you noticed how he would check up on you more often, and how he would offer to do the chores for you (even though he would always whine when he had to do them). when you kept telling him that you were alright, he tried to appear less concerned but so many questions were still running at the back of his mind. his assumptions were finally revealed to be true as a drop of blood lands on your sheet while you were studying together. you try to hide your face from him, quickly grabbing a tissue to clean the blood. "let me see." he cups your cheeks, obliging you to look at him. you had never seen him so serious and if you were being honest, the unusual frown on his face was scaring you a little. you spoke first, admitting that you've been sick and apologizing for not letting him know. gunwook shushes you with a peck on your forehead as he sees your eyes water. you spend the entire night talking about your concerns, holding and comforting each other. <3
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yujin
doesn't really make it a big deal. or at least that's how it looks like. yujin has been observing how hard you've working and how you would look a bit more tired than usual. you would reply late to his texts, ignore his calls because you were "sleeping", tell him that you can't meet up because you're busy...again... he was once again having trouble falling asleep tonight as many thoughts were clouding his mind. he had even asked his mom and his friends about how to bring the subject up with you. looking at the time on the clock, he gets up and decides to walk to your house, not knowing if you would even be awake to let him in. you open the door, a tissue stuffed into your nostril and awkwardly greet yujin. he stares at you blankly before letting himself in and closing the door behind him. without a word, he hugs you "you're stupid", his voice sounds weak. you apologize, rubbing his back as you hear his sobs, he must have been so worried to see you like this. "promise me to never overwork yourself again when you're sick", he pulls away and dries his tears. "i promise", you murmurs and interlocks pinkies.
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mandalhoerian · 11 months
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lamb to the slaughter | leon kennedy x reader
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read part 1: moth to a flame pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader summary: ❛ You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince. ❜ It's as easy as that three word sentence for Leon to undo a month of moving on from him right after he comes back from Spain. Easy as surrendering to sleep. Eagerness for his uninhibited love makes you forget he isn't one to open up like that in the first place, you should have known the moment he showed up on your doorstep on his own volition that he wasn't your Leon. He'd only come back to spirit you away. Yet, each man kills the thing he loves, as a famous poet would say. But what about when the beloved lets herself be led to the killing? word count: Almost 25K (im sorry) warnings: DARKFIC, proceed with caution. porn with plot, switch leon, yandere leon (kinda? he's infected/plaga leon), lots of smut (face sitting, dry humping, couch sex, rough sex, mirror watching kinda its a window, chained leon, blowjob, tail riding, kinda bondage with chains, creampies, no protection dont be like this kids), jealousy, angst, things go to shit, abduction, leon infects you, protectiveness, confinement, psychic connection through plagas, corruption, consensual arousal-inducing venom. you got the bad ending. lmao dont look at me. we are not seeing the pearly gates notes: 🐑 i say bad ending for a reason, you can accept this as a sequel to moth to a flame or just ignore it! 🐑 leon's appearance here is inspired by the red eyes mod + the mechanic of his superior species is built on what we saw with krauser and all the plaga leon fanart i've seen. though he only lets his tail out and nothing else. 🐑 the pressure of leon's characterization got too much so i threw it all out of the window. now everyone can be equally upset. thank you for all the love, i hope you enjoy this!
🌀 read on ao3!
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Leon comes back from Spain a bit different. 
Different is the specifically chosen word here because you’re not accustomed to seeing him like this. It might be you who’s the problem here, but right off the bat something’s out of place to you.
A pattern has been broken.
No contact with him for nearly a month and he appears on your doorstep one night with a dreamy smile on his face you could only imagine a younger, more carefree version of Leon could afford as if all the weight of this world has been lifted off his shoulders, and as if he isn’t here to pick up whatever he’s left behind after your break-up. 
You’re more flabbergasted than anything. He’s absolutely glowing. Healthy. His black compression shirt leaves little to the imagination underneath that leather jacket, and the tight jeans hug his legs in just the right places, your nose picking up the whiff of some rich cologne that would have you normally salivating over him had it not been for the timing. 
A delivery to home directly from your late night daydreams, tempting as a mirage in the middle of a desert, as he intends to be — you’re acutely aware why in the hell he’s dolled himself up at night knowing you’d be either reviewing some documents for work or getting ready for bed, all in your humble, homely peasant outfit. 
It doesn’t feel good knowing what might be the reason. Feels even worse sensing something’s up. 
The thing is… When Leon decides he’s done with ghosting you after the eventful business trips that have him dropping off the face of the earth, it’s almost always in bad shape. It’s rare that he breaks a bone or two, but purple, yellow and green are his colors, along with the sunken, red, and sleep-deprived, exhausted eyes. He comes back to you like a cat seeking refuge from the storm outside, for a safe place to get some rest where he can switch off the survival mode. And you’ve learned to prepare for these rainy days he tends to make his return on. 
This man standing in front of you with take-out dangling from his hand, relaxed and confident with light in his brilliant blues, perfectly silky hair, and a well-rested, handsome face that lacks all the gloom? You almost don’t recognize him. His soft and exuberant voice as he greets you, “Hey,” might as well belong to a stranger. “I look that bad? Haven’t seen you make that face in a while.”
“No,” you refuse automatically, squinting your eyes and trying to wipe the sleep off via rubbing, shaking the initial shock and the whiplash off, your hand tightens on the side of the door. The more entertaining quips have escaped you, such as: ‘More like, haven’t seen you in a while, and that, second.’ But of course your woozy first instinct is to relieve him, and rooting for how Leon can’t look bad even on the worst of days, but that’s irrelevant now, isn’t it? “Sorry, I’m a bit loopy.”
“Ah, shit.” He raises his wrist and shakes it so the sleeve of his jacket would pull back to reveal his watch. “I didn’t realize it was this late. God I am so sorry—”
“No, it’s fine—”
“I bring offerings for your time, if it’s any consolation.” He looks hopeful. God, when has he last been this youthful? It’s blinding. “Have dinner with me?”
You would have jumped at the offer one month ago and done your best to keep him around as long as possible, especially when he’s the best you’ve seen him in a long while — but he’s supposed to be a stranger to you now, an ex. You have tried to move on already, it’s such a betrayal to your overworked heart that the desire to bask in his presence is still strong as ever. 
“Hey, um.” Ever so slightly hiding behind the frame of the door, you watch as his face falls, your hesitance telling everything you can’t put into words out loud. “It’s too late for dinner.”
It comes out weird from your mouth, maybe you should have worded it differently — it feels like it’s not dinner you’re talking about, and him staring with a wrinkled line between his eyebrows as if he’s trying to control his countenance isn’t helping. 
“Should seriously focus on trying to break old habits,” he chuckles hesitantly, a voice crack towards the end of the sentence, and you have to break eye contact. “I forget my normal isn’t normal sometimes. I’m sorry.” 
You fold. 
Not because it’s what you always do, but to get whatever he wants out of the way and get him out of your life as abruptly as he decided to randomly come back today. You want this to be over already. “I’m making an exception for tonight, okay? You can’t come here like this anymore, Leon. Please understand.”
Leon's hopeful expectation slowly fades, replaced by a disappointed understanding. His eyes, once filled with a vibrant light, now dim slightly, and the confident aura that surrounded him wavers for a moment. He takes a deep breath, as if trying to steady himself, before nodding slowly.
"I see," he says, carrying a tinge of sadness, you kick yourself inwardly for wanting to reach out and comfort him. "I didn't mean to intrude. I just... I wanted to see you again… To—to explain, I mean."
His words catch your attention, curiosity sparking a small candle light within you. Despite the whirlwind of emotions and confusion, you find yourself opening the door wider, gesturing for him to step inside.The way he visibly relaxes, shoulders deflating and the flash of an involuntary relieved, tiny smile on his face before he follows you inside makes your chest contract in endearment. 
This is a grown man you decided to let go. This grown man walked out on you. This grown man made you lose years of your life. This grown man doesn’t need your protection, you shouldn’t want to hide him in your ribcage, you’d be taking in a fish instead of a bird. 
The aroma of the take-out food fills the room, teasing your senses and reminding you of all the shared meals and late-night conversations you used to have. Memories flood your mind, threatening to break down the walls you had carefully built to protect yourself.
God, it hurts. He brought your favorite that he doesn’t like all that much. 
You go ahead and settle at the dining table, the take-out boxes placed between you and where he usually sits — where he used to sit whenever he came over, your base instinct embarrasses you. And as you open the containers, you look back to see what’s taking him so long or if he’s left to wash his hands, and notice that he’s just standing there in the hall, engulfed by the shadows, looking alert in the direction of the living room. You can’t see his face. 
“Is everything alright?” you ask, weirded out by how tense he is suddenly. 
He turns to you, and the kitchen light reflects strongly in contrast from his eyes precisely because he stands in the dark, like some cat. “It… smells.”
“What?” You walk over to him, mortified, trying to pick up what he’s talking about. “Is it the floor cleaner? I changed it to lavender recently. What, you don’t like it?”
“No, you… You—” He takes a few slow steps away from you as if you said something hurtful to him, awe and betrayal taking over his features. 
“Leon,” you try to reach out, confused. 
He’s looking you up and down, the weird shock he went through transitioning into perturbance. “Who is it?”
“What are you talking about—?”
“There is someone else?” He points towards the living with his chin, a look of devastation twisting his forlorn features, arms basically flattened to his side. “You brought them here and— and—”
An icy wave of chills wash over your body. “How do you know that?”
“Because it smells.” He brings a hand up and puts it on his middle as if it’s hurting, alternating between rubbing his nose and down to his chest again, like he doesn’t know what to do with his body. “Shit.”
Leon's reaction takes you aback, his sudden accusations leaving you bewildered. This is the most ridiculous thing you ever heard, what is he, an animal?  “Smells? You smelled him?”
You can’t fathom how he could have possibly known about someone else in your life, let alone the details of their presence in your home.
He gestures with his hand and slaps it back to his side, pressing his lips into a thin line before speaking. “Wonderful.” 
Never in a million years would you have expected to see Leon get bothered by another person in your life. He just isn’t the type to react, this has happened before because of course you tried him, to see if he’d get jealous the way you did — he didn’t, something about you having the right to be with anyone you want and that he can’t stop you. This was early into your ‘arrangement’ — where the line was blurred between hanging out and sleeping together, and you were naive enough to bring the scattered, floating letters between him and you together to define the word. 
This right here has to be about something else, bitterness maybe, that you could move on from him. It gets you worked up, blood slowly heating up. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. We’re not anything, Leon. Not anymore.”
Leon's gaze hardens, and for a moment, it seems like the fragility of hurt and anger flashes and trickles in. He sharply inhales, his chest rising and falling as he tries to steady himself. "I know we're not anything." He flexes his jaw, turning his face to the side in self-inflicted disappointment. "And I’m the reason, that’s on me. But damn, it’s only been a month and I’ve been miserable while you—"
You take a step closer, looking to find the middle ground in all of this. "While I’m just going about my life.” Confusion swirls in your mind as you struggle to comprehend Leon's reaction.You hadn't anticipated such a visceral response from him. You don’t know why the next second you’re trying to smooth things over to spare him, there’s no need. But you still are doing it anyway. “And he and I are friends—"
He tilts his head, something entirely cold and hostile under unreactive stoicism squares his shoulders, it’s that perpetually uninviting face of his that scares everybody off. His nostrils flare, but his voice is low and smooth. “Friends that fuck on the couch?”
“How did you—” It’s the cold chills again. “This is getting weird. How can you know that?”
Leon's eyes narrow, and the tension in the room becomes almost palpable, your nervousness almost makes it like the blue of his irises are brighter. He drops to a low, dangerous tone, but he isn’t doing anything to be threatening, so why?—. “It’s dangerous, you know? Letting unknown guys into your home. Who knows what they have in mind? What they want to do to you?”
“Sex, Leon,” you bite back, a bull to red into your apprehension, thinking why in the hell should you be intimidated when he’s being the weird one, you still have to hear about how he knows about your relations. “We had sex. Don’t be dramatic.” 
He laughs in a way you’ve never seen before, and suddenly it’s making sense why you felt like something was wrong when you opened the door to him. Maybe he’s drunk on something different today and it’s influencing him. Different liquors have different attitudes. 
“I, on the other hand, have to still hear about how you know. Have you been spying on me?”
“I apparently should have.” 
“Excuse me?” You shake your head, trying to rationalize the situation where he is practically lacking, lost in his own head, his usual personality is currently unavailable to the call for reasons unbeknownst to you. He is a calm guy. Reasonable. You don’t get where this immaturity is coming from, anger-related or not. “Leon, you can’t just go ahead and talk lightly of invading my privacy! I don’t want to joke around right now!”
You should send him away to talk later, or both of your hearts are going to break ugly tonight.
Leon's gaze doesn't waver, his eyes narrowing with a mix of concealed pain and anger. "No, I wasn't spying on you," he retorts sharply, giving you the information you want to know. "But it's hard to miss when the person you care about moves on so quickly."
So he must have seen something? He came back from Spain earlier than you thought? Was this visit about interrogating you all along? 
You hate the way your hands warm up immediately with his admittance to caring about you, even though he will never outright say that he likes you or anything more. It’s unbelievable that’s what your heart decided to pick up on instead of literally anything else right now. 
The hall feels suffocating. It's as if the air itself has turned tar-thick. You take a step back, and escape into the kitchen, trying to gather your thoughts amidst the rising storm of confusion.
“I thought you wanted this. Why would me moving forward be a problem?”
“Because I can’t.” 
You want to yell at him. Why should that be your problem? He wanted this. You prepared yourself because he was perpetually with a suitcase in his hand, so much so you can’t imagine his visage otherwise.
Be calm about this. You’re a grown adult. 
"I don’t understand.” Hands grabbing at the handles of a chair, you spare a glance at him over your shoulder. "I thought we would give each other space, go our own ways."
A bitter laugh escapes Leon's lips, devoid of any humor. "Space? That's just another word for running away, isn't it? And haven’t you immediately found someone else to run towards? That’s how important I was to you, huh?"
The accusation stings, and you struggle to find the right words to defend yourself, his honesty coercing the affection out of you within the ice of self-preservation. "Leon, it's not like that. I’m trying to navigate my life, this isn’t me trying to get back at you or hurt you."
He runs a hand through his hair, frustration carved into every line of his face. "Well, congratulations. You succeeded anyway."
This is getting ridiculous. You don’t know how to handle the situation because he never put you in one like it in the first place. 
How are you the guilty one? How is the blame on you, now? Why? Being with him was slow torture, loving him was a doomed gambit, and now he has the gall to make you into the bad guy — for what, prioritizing yourself for once? 
The silence hangs heavily between you, punctuated only by the distant sounds of the city outside. It feels as though the foundations of your bond are crumbling beneath the weight of unresolved emotions, the connection you once shared now seems fragile, teetering on the edge of irreparable damage that you’re not sure you want to let go even though it really is the best solution to let it be. You remember how you told him that break-ups don’t always have to end in fights, it seems how the afterward would be like hasn’t crossed your mind at all. 
“Ironic of you to say that,” you mumble, turning away from him with a disbelieving smile, hands on your hips. 
“What?”
“I said,” you turn around, cold anger freezing your features in a silent mask. “That’s rich coming from you. Running away, I mean. All this time I’ve known you, you’ve run away from me—” With each example you give, you take one slow step towards him. “From intimacy, from a deeper connection. I know you couldn’t help but be away for your job and that’s not the issue here.” You stop right in front of him, seething, looking up, doing your best to keep your shit together as you shake a finger at him. “But you don’t have the right to accuse me of running away.” 
He just stands there like a statue. Doesn’t move. Doesn’t look away. As if this means nothing at all to him, forever the unaffected, desensitized man that he is. You have to flatten your lips to keep them from quivering.
“I’ve had to chase you like some race horse while you were sitting right next to me,” you jab that finger into his chest, not to get something out of him, but because the floodgates were finally open. “I have betted on losing dogs this entire relationship.” Another jab. “I let you treat me like a doormat.” Jab. “I gave you the patience and understanding some mothers wouldn’t give to their children—” And it finally ends with a slap with the back of your hand on his wall of a chest. “Because god smite me I made the mistake of falling in love—” A fucking joyful, pretty sparkle in his eyes that has his eyebrows lifting. It bloods your boil like nothing else. “—-and all of this for you to come into my home and pick a fight over who I fuck after breaking up with me?” You push him — or, rather, try to push him further back into the hall, and when it doesn’t work, raise your arm to point to the door. “Get out.”
Leon's jaw tightens as he stares at you and you see it jump, his gaze piercing through you, ablaze. He tries to grab you by the elbows but you shake him off. “Sweet girl, I—”
The nickname has you on the edge of crumbling and you ricochet back as if burned. “No, nuh-uh,” you rapidly shake your head and one hand at him, eyes burning, deliberately looking at his shoulder not to make eye contact. “You don’t get to call me that anymore. No. Just go. Get out of my house.”
The room plummets into an agonizing quietness filled by the heavy breathing you’re doing your best to stop from shaking as Leon stands there, his hand still lingering, frozen in a futile attempt to reach out to you standing in the light of the kitchen, and him in the shadows. The absoluteness of your words is the hammer of a judge about to fall on his head, sharpened by your anger and the shattered remnants of your flightless hopes. 
You never wanted this. It had ended so peacefully, why was he back as a vengeful ghost bringing the worst out of you — why now? Why?
Finally, Leon lowers his hand, his gaze falling to the floor. There's a momentary lowering of his guard that flickers across his face, a crack in the armor he usually wears. "I know I messed up, and I've been running away. But it's not because I don't care, it's because... I'm — I couldn’t give you anything. Not anything you deserved. Not everything I wanted. And I couldn’t face any of that without having to confront I needed to get out of your life," he says softly, caked with remorse and self-hatred. “Like being somewhere between life and death, I didn’t know what to do, how to move forward.”
His words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you feel your anger momentarily waver, you’ve seen the pain in his eyes before, the demons that haunt him from his past — you understand, you understand. In every reality possible, you’d understand, even when you don’t know. “I know, Leon.” The acknowledgment leaves you pained, but this time, don’t give anything in consolation, don’t justify the harmful outcomes of his escapism just so he wouldn’t be scared and pull himself back. Yes, you know. But that’s it. It has to be enough.  
“I want you to also know — I’m not that man anymore.” He takes a step closer, his hand reaching out tentatively, but you flinch away, unwilling to let him touch you, and he stands right at the threshold of shadows bleeding away into the light streaming from the room behind you. 
"Are you seriously about to tell me you changed, Leon? Really? No, I know you," you assert, your voice tinged with skepticism and a lick of frustration. Folding your arms across your chest, you wait for his response, your gaze fixed on him, brows furrowing but a slight smile souring your lips. “But I’ll humor you. Tell me, what could have possibly happened in such a short amount of time, because I’m not having it if it’s about us separating—” It’s mean, the way you outright grin at him, one small part of you regrets laughing at his face when he’s declaring he’s changed, but you can’t stop the poison from wanting to sink into his skin, from wanting to see yourself affecting him. “You, my late blooming pupa, had two whole years to break out of your cocoon. Don’t even waste your breath.”
Leon meets you head on, unfazed by your demeanor, it makes you feel like a child when you were in the right, brings sense to you that this was Leon you were trying to hurt, you knew he wouldn’t give you excuses some man after some piece of ass would — the hurt is bringing the girl out of you that wants to maim as she has been maimed, and he just stands there and takes it as if he wants to show you he’s had way worse before. It isn’t fair.
He takes a moment to steady himself, his hand unconsciously fidgeting with the edge of his jacket as he prepares to explain, raising his hands up and tracing the invisible line of the veins inside his wrist. His body language conveys a distant sense of sincerity. 
"I received a gift that opened my eyes," he confesses, his voice carrying a brooding, yet grateful significance. His eyes momentarily drift, as if lost in memories of what transpired. His fingers continue to rub along the veins, he’s recalling something, it’s not a self-soothing nervous habit that betrays his inner turmoil.
Your skepticism wavers, switched with a curious glimmer. The lamb sees the slaughterhouse and thinks it’s home again. You unfold your arms, inching closer as you invite him to elaborate. 
"It saved me. Gave me a new life. Changed me.” He pauses, looking far, far away again. “It changed everything," Leon states with a sense of conviction. He stands a little taller, his demeanor transformed by the profound impact of this revelation.
Your eyes flit in rapid blinking, captivated by his warm, honest intensity. A welcoming, pleasant surprise lingers on your face as you take in the magnitude of what he's sharing.
"Changed everything?" you question, holding back your wonder and uncertainty in fear of disappointment. Your body involuntarily leans forward, drawn in by where he’s taking this.
"Yeah. For good this time. Because I’m not… bound anymore, I’m not trapped. For the first time in forever, I know what it’s like to be truly free.” 
“Oh…” You begin to speak, but words escape you. He is uninhibited, truly elated, that soft smile on his face doesn’t carry the anxiety of what comes next. This is a first for Leon Kennedy. When you remember you mocked what might have happened to him, it fills you with shame. So, something truly wonderful did happen — could happen. It has to do with his job, that much you know. No wonder he’s insisting things have changed, what he does for a living is what haunts him like a shadow, after all, you couldn’t be more aware of that. “I’m… I’m happy for you, then, Leon. I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re not wrong for doubting me. I did.” He looks down at his arms, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I believed I had changed before, you know — had been changed, whatever you wanna call it... Because I had to," Leon admits with introspection. He pauses, searching for the right words to convey the depth of his experience. 
"Then someone I know told me no, you haven't, you just think you have. And both of those options are worse than each other in retrospect, don't get me wrong,” his voice cracks slightly, revealing the conflict within him. There's a flicker of nostalgia and longing. 
He takes a steadying breath, his eyes locked onto yours, conveying a yearning for understanding. This is the most open he’s been with you, the most you’ve seen of him, you’re hypnotized.
"I envy who I was in 1998, but I don't want to be him. The me one month ago is superior, but he was miserable and fucking blind," Leon confesses, the air around him somehow gravitating towards him, becoming hard to breathe because of how hard he’s frowning. Self-deprecating. And his eyes are on you again, back to the moment. “You wanna know how I know I’m different now? I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything.”
He steps forward, into the kitchen, into the light, and shadows dance on his face, and you know what this is — the cat has decided he wants pets, seeking to butt his head into you to initiate contact, and you step backward with the sudden panic sinking in your stomach, but he keeps advancing the more you back off. 
“I’m not afraid anymore,” he rasps, and you make a small sound at the back of your throat. “Not afraid of what I want. Not afraid of wanting. Not afraid of what comes next.”
“Leon—” you interrupt, hands shooting forward, hovering just between you two, feeling his body heat, but terrified of touching him in fear of what might ignite inside you if you do. 
But he catches both your hands, intertwining your fingers and pinning them on two sides of you on the counter the moment your hips hit the lip of it, and you’re immediately steaming underneath your skin, shutting your eyes and turning your face away as his body snuggles in, flush against you. 
“It’s pathetic, the person I used to be—” he breathes, a gentle invitation, a subtle beckoning, though his words are harsh, he’s uttering them so sweetly like it’s a love letter to you, and hot wind from his words licks the side of your face, you can feel the feathery touch of his lips moving a hair’s breadth from your cheek. Your heartbeat is hammering. “He would have bitten his tongue and gone right back home to lick his wounds. Never see you again. He would think it’s what’s best for you, that he’s protecting you this way.”
You swallow, and he chases the motion, head following the movement. His nose caresses the column of your neck, the sigh that escapes his lips echoes the hidden depth of his desires, an unspoken language of pining. 
Your breath catches in your throat as Leon's increasing body heat and tantalizing weight knead and melt you like dough, his words moving you from within, his proximity creating a charged volume that crackles with tension and desire you were fighting so hard to deny. Every fiber of your being is acutely aware of his presence, his warmth pressing against you, and the raw defenselessness he's revealing. 
You missed this. You missed this. You missed this. 
The blood coursing through your veins sings to him, sings for him, and you’re alive again after one month of absolute emptiness, and hate him for doing this to you.
Love him for coming back. 
His grip on your hands tightens, and you can feel the tremor in his touch, mirroring the intensity of his emotions. “Look at me.” 
You know you don’t want to, because if you were to see him right now, what he’s showing, what he’s finally allowing you to see, you wouldn’t know how to look away ever again — don’t want to hurt.
Your own heart races in response, fear and anticipation swirling within you. And he places his knuckles on your chin, gently guiding you to face him, “Don’t look away.”
Your glazed over eyes lock with his in a moment that feels suspended in time.
"Leon..." you murmur with a blend of longing and caution. The weight of unspoken possibilities bursts in color in the air between you, begging for acknowledgment.
He nuzzles closer, his lips grazing your skin with feather-light touches. Your body reacts instinctively, a tremble washing through you as his sigh tickles your neck. It's as if the world around you fades away, leaving only the magnetic pull between you, drawing you inexorably closer. It’s sweetness so intense it’s trying to hold back the bitterness, a muzzle on a hungry dog’s jaw. 
His voice, a whisper against your ear, is temptation, a pied piper. "I don't want to make the same mistakes anymore. I can't keep denying what I truly want, what my heart desires. I can’t lose you. I’m not losing you. Not like this. Please."
The admission electrifies the mood. Time stands still as you process everything, mind foggy, your own desires intertwining with his. It's a precarious precipice you find yourselves on, teetering between the past and the mirage of a future, between fear and the possibility of something more.
“That’s awfully self-centered,” you laugh weakly, not knowing if this is you unable to look away from his lips or unable to bring yourself to meet his gaze. “What if it’s too late? What if that ship has already sailed?”
He nudges your nose with his, bringing his forehead to rest against yours. “You don’t want me? Look into my eyes when you tell me, then.”
In that moment, you make a choice. With an upsurge of courage, you do as he asks, searching his need-darkened patience waiting for you, and you let your guard down. Closing the remaining space between, your lips find his in a tender yet fervent kiss, an unspoken consent that verbalizes everything. 
God, you want this man with all your being. One moment of vulnerability, the confirmation you needed for so long from him was enough to melt all your walls down and conquer without war — the things you let him do to you… 
What was tenderness from you ricochets back from him as desperation, he licks into your mouth like a man starved, and a sigh shudders from Leon, you feel it roll through his entire body. He catches your waist in a tight, unyielding grip, his touch conveying a scared need to hold on to you, as if to make sure you're real, and not a fleeting dream. 
“Fuck, I want you so bad. Never wanted more in my goddamn life.” The pent-up tension and unspoken emotions flow between you, igniting a flame that burns brightly, dispelling any doubts or regrets. “Let me have you. Please, let me have you.”
“Give me half of you, and I’ll give you half of me.” His lips, soft and warm, melded with yours in a passionate embrace, separate with a wet pop. “How’s that for a start?”
Leon's lips attempt to dip into yours again, but he wavers to a panting stop, leaving a lingering, ticklish warmth in their wake. His declaration, filled with a mix of intoxication and determination, spills forth. “‘ll give you all of me,” he mutters, his kisses raining down upon your skin in a frenzy of affection. “—Give you all my love. Want all of yours, too.” 
Love. He said love. 
Someone must have hit you over the head, you feel like it, all breath is knocked out of your lungs.
Leon pulls back only inches when he feels you freeze in his arms, and you see it in his eyes — he doesn’t try to hide it… 
And you realize, you’ve seen the ghost of this look before, the shyer one, the more apprehensive, curt one that was prone to hiding away. The pure adoration on his face makes him look younger, like a whole other man. 
Yet, you ask. It’s all you’ve ever wanted from him, only a passing acknowledgement and you’re a sunflower bending over backwards with the first rays of the sun. "You love me?"
Your stomach does a summersault at feeling his heart miss a beat.  "Y... yes?" he stutters, his voice rising. "Yeah."
All that romantic talk. All the insane things he said, and it’s scary to him when the word is spelled out loud. 
The room goes completely noiseless for a moment, your ribcage might as well explode at this point, and then he lets out an audible sigh, trying to calm himself down. "Is that so strange to you?" he adds. "Is that... something you... don't want?"
He knows what you feel. Known it all along, danced around it for both your sakes. Yet, he’s still asking — exposing that defenseless underbelly of his that reveals he thinks he’s unlovable, not worth it, skeptic that someone could want him in that way. 
His eyes stay locked with yours, but some of his confidence seems to have drained away. All that's left is his look of pure, unbridled infatuation, and the expression of genuine, unwavering honesty.
Your mouth seems to have gone dry, heartbeat picking up, stomach swirling, looking at him like he's out of this world, eyes flying everywhere on his face. No words come to mind for a good while. It’s a slow blooming flower at first, but the beaming of your smile takes him aback. “It’s all I wanted,” you practically exhale. 
He makes a small noise of relief and chokes out a smile. 
As your lips mold together again, a new symphony of sensations unfolds. His kiss has the devotion of held-back hunger, lips seeking and exploring every contour of yours, and you surrender completely. To how he desires you, to the intoxicating pull between you, letting your inhibitions fall away. There is only the searing heat of his touch, the intoxicating sweet taste of his mouth, the mint from an already discarded gum and something uniquely Leon, and the synchronization of your combined breaths.
He moves downwards to take nip at the corner of your mouth and then your chin, a soft hum escapes from deep within you, a testament to the overwhelming pleasure he makes you feel by the littlest of sensualities.
“Leon…” Your hands find their way to his tousled hair and a waft of his shampoo fills your nose, you pull him closer, yearning for more of him. The room fills with the heady scent of desire, starting to pool deep in your stomach drop by drop.
He bites down on your jaw, knowing just how to make it pleasurable and not hurt, and you gasp out loud. “Sweet girl, my sweet girl,” he chants. His lips find their way to the sensitive skin of your neck, trailing a path of feverish kisses and gentle nips. “My sweet girl.” Each sensation sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body, leaving you rasping and yearning for more. 
You arch into him. His hands, now guided by a primal instinct, roam freely over your body. They explore every curve and dip, tracing the contours of your silhouette as if committing every inch to memory. Fingers dance along your spine, leaving a trail of delicious shivers in their wake, before finding solace in the small of your back. 
With a firm yet gentle grip, he lifts you effortlessly, placing you on the counter, the cool surface contrasts with the scorching heat that burns even your palms up as he slots between your legs immediately afterwards. 
With a delicate yet possessive grip, his hands glide along your upper thighs, and a needy warmth trickles down to the crevice he grinds his crotch against, the roughness of his jeans delectable against where you need him. 
Your own hands, emboldened, mirror his actions, eagerly exploring the planes of his chest, nails dragging through the fabric. Overwrought fingers interchange between pulling on his leather jacket and the compression shirt that hugs him so tight it won't stretch. “Get this off."
A low growl reverberates deep in Leon's chest as your hands keep hungrily tugging at his clothing, seeking to peel away the layers that separate you. “In the kitchen? That impatient for me?” 
Ah, he’s trying to embarrass you. Not going to work. “Shut up you hypocrite, you made me come on your thigh in broad daylight, in the kitchen.”
“I don’t remember you complaining,” he grins against your lips, and you feel him grow bigger, straining against the cage of his jeans. “God, you were so fucking hot using me like that. Want to see you more — pleasure yourself more — in front of me. I was about to make a mess of my pants like some teenager, just looking at you and,” he rocks both of you upwards as he babbles, and your hands glide down to cradle his flaming neck, your eyes closing, head spinning with his words. “Your pussy on me, shit. I still feel it.”
“Stop running your mouth and get these off then,” you half-heartedly order, not at all an attempt to hide how turned on you are and practically dying to feel him already. 
He opts to tease, “What the lady wants, the lady gets,” like he’s only doing it because you asked him to, but he willingly complies, his movements hinting to be fueled by a shared hunger and a desire to feel your touch against his bare skin.
The leather jacket slides off his shoulders, revealing the sculpted contours of his chest, accentuated by the tight shirt that clings to him. And in one motion, that’s also off, you don’t even get to watch how his muscles ripple and flex, but your hands are on him right after, groaning at just how high his body temperature is, how wildly his heart is beating underneath your palm.
Your mind short-circuits at something foreign wiggling underneath your palms on his chest and not at the way he’s sucking red flowers on the underside of your thrown back chin. 
Your mind can be playing tricks on you, because you swear you can feel something move underneath his skin that’s not tendons, but before you can dwell on it, his lips, now free from their exploration of your neck, capture yours once more in a searing kiss, filled with a soulful need, an unspoken plea for more, as if he wants to consume every ounce of you. 
“Can’t believe kissing alone feels this good,” he says. “I could just do this all day. Have you on my lap, underneath me, above me, and just.” Your lips are teasingly bitten and tugged on. “Have this to myself.”
As his hands continue their tantalizing journey along your thighs, inching higher, you find yourself surrendering to the exquisite sensations. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, craving more friction as the restlessness grows tighter. 
The hardness of his crotch presses against the heat between your legs, creating a delicious ache that demands to be satisfied. He hisses and sighs into your mouth. “Fuck, I can’t wait. Hold on to me.” 
Leon has his arms locked tight around your legs clamped on his legs the next second, and begins to carry you out the kitchen as you hold onto his shoulders, once again in awe of how easy it is for him to manhandle you like this without at least grunting. 
You think he’s taking you to your bedroom and worrying if you left it too messy, but where you find yourself sprawled on your back instead, is the fucking couch in your living. 
The couch your one night stand had his way with you on. 
You sense a subtle shift in the currents of his shadowy gaze bearing down on you, in the flicker of his eyes, in the tightening of his jaw, that you glimpse a revelation you have not anticipated hidden beneath layers of charm and composure, the shifting of tectonic plates beneath calm waters. It’s uncharted territory. A dormant beast awoken from slumber, his demeanor betrays an unfamiliar greedy intensity that enthralls you. Once soft, subtle adoring nature of his, now holds a smidge of territorial longing, as if he yearned to claim you as his own, to wrap you in the cocoon of his desires, the undercurrent untamed, raw, unfamiliar — both to you and him. You’re no stranger to his intensity, his passion, but this is foreign to you. 
With surprised anticipation, you laugh to hide the nervousness. “I didn’t know you could be jealous.”
“I didn’t know I was capable of it either.” His big palm comes down on your stomach, fingers fanned out, and it drifts up as if he’s just taking you in, with some pressure sinking into you, and your shirt rides up because of it, exposing your stomach all the way to the beginnings of your lower ribs. “Of this much need to monopolize.” 
He hooks a strong arm around your waist and tugs you a bit up to meet his descending mouth to your revealed abdomen, leaving wet kisses and kitten bites all over, teasing by faking you out that he’ll go higher to play with your aching breasts, the tip of his nose touching the bottom curve of one and then going lower. Either way, it’s your loss, heat keeps pooling in the ever-so-hungry pit as your panties become uncomfortable already. He knows how to build you up.  “It’s so ugly in my head right now because of this goddamn smell—and all I think is what I’m looking at right now was seen by another man. Wanna fucking tear into you to get rid of it.”
You quip, “Does he smell that bad?” amused, an attempt to distract yourself from how easy he has you, hands finding his hair again and tugging, eliciting muffled groans from Leon, but the promise of roughness thrills you, the shiver going through you perking your nipples up. You honestly didn’t know he had this much of a sensitive nose up until today, goes to show how little of himself he showed you in the past. 
“He reeks.” He drags his blunt nails through the line of your waist soothing it with feathery, tickling, lazy strokes of faint pleasuring zaps as he bucks into your clothed core, drawing hisses and gasps from both of you. The rough zipper line of his jeans accentuated by his hardness hits just the right spot, you could do this forever — gosh, you have a wet spot in your panties, it feels gross but it’s so warm and it’s so good — 
Oh you love the way his eyes darken, the way his voice deepens ever so slightly when things you never thought would come from him in a million years are sent your way, goosebumps awaken all over you at the, god, you can’t believe you’re saying possessiveness. “We could, you know, get it reupholstered. If you’re paying for it—” 
“I have a better idea,” A devilish smirk curls at the corners of Leon's lips as he lifts his head from your abdomen, eyes glinting. His grip on your waist shifts to the waistband of your pants, teasingly tracing the edge. “How about instead I reclaim it so you won’t be able to sit on it ever again without getting so hot and bothered by what I did to you here. Hm?”
His touch sends invigorating currents coursing through your body, pooling desire between your thighs. You arch your back, wordlessly urging him to continue. and he kneads your hips, digging into your flesh with a delicious pressure. “I’ll make my sweet girl so fucked out stupid she forgets any touch that came before me.” He squeezes once and your cunt just throbs. “Only remembers my name.”
Fucking hell. 
"But if it bothers her, I'll consider reupholstering," he continues, a hint of playfulness there. "She’ll just have to pay in other ways."
A mischievous gleam dances in your eyes as you match his playful banter. "Oh, I have a feeling I can think of a few ways to make it worth your while," you purr, your fingers still tangled in his strands, urging him to bring his lips back to yours.
“That right?” Leon's chuckle reverberates through his chest, vibrating against your skin. He leaves a trail of heat and moisture on your stomach as he climbs up, capturing your mouth in a hungry kiss, his tongue exploring the depths of your mouth with a fervor matched only by his growing desire.
His heat washes over you, and your breath hitches as you struggle to control the rising tide of need, and you can’t stop the small whine from escaping when he tempts. “How would she like it?” with hooded eyes, you see him imagining — thinking, living the filth out in his brain and not hiding it from you at all. The thought of being completely consumed by him, of surrendering to his desires, sends a torrent of suspense coursing through your veins.
With deliberate slowness, his fingers dip beneath the waistband of your pants, grazing over the sensitive skin of your lower abdomen, and you nod fervently, wanting Leon to stop with the leisurely approach and just fucking throw you around or bury his fingers into your pussy already — “Use your words sweet girl.” He chuckles when he sees the delicately restrained agitation of yours, his touch is both gentle and possessive, his fingertips tracing maddening circles that dangle you over promised pleasure.
His piercing stare ensnares you, a captivating force that renders you powerless. His inquiry lingers, emphasized by his almost restlessly eager fingers massaging your skin, akin to a tantalizing vow of sensual delight. In this very instant, a revelation dawns upon you—Leon's unchained greed does not arise from insecurity alone; rather, they stem from an unquenchable thirst to know you’re his, to conquer every fragment of your being and eliminate any shadow of uncertainty.
In a flurry of emotions, your words spill forth, infused with a potent blend of yearning and submission. “Take me, I want you to take me. Wanna feel only you…” Succumbing to the irresistible yearning surging through your veins, you surrender yourself to the overwhelming craving that courses within you. “Any way you want.”
His jaw falls open slightly in shock, like the shape of language has left him, hold stilling around you in an iron grip — the way his cheekbones get slightly pinked gets you bucking up to him. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you smile, extending your arms at him like you’re asking for a hug. “Make me forget however you like.”
His chest expands with the big breath he sucks in, a guttural growl escaping his throat, a primal sound that makes him feel almost inhuman with another trick of the light that makes his veins appear darker, dancing, almost, as he pulls you up, leaves you dizzy with how quick he reverses your positions, it’s his back on the plush cushions now, one knee bent a little bit and you on top of him, straddling his lap. He’s looking up at you, and you flash to how you had him exactly that way before he left for Spain.
“Sit on my face.”
You blink a couple times. “What?”
His fingers catch the band of your pants and underwear. “I want you to ride my face.” The small grin that breaks out on his face after licking his lips is downright sinful. “Wanna be fucking suffocated by you.”
“Will you be alright—”
“It’s nothing to me,” The persuasion is nonchalant, like he has experience being waterboarded and it’s something trivial. “I said I’d make you remember me whenever you sit on this couch, didn’t I?” 
His request is bold, ramming the boundaries of your comfort zone, there’s the fear of crushing him and there’s the embarrassment of how he’d receive your weight, yet overcome by the part of you that craves to fulfill his desires, overtaken by how he always wants to give pleasure and not take it. 
You slowly rise from his lap, and he momentarily releases you from his hold. Your hands tremble slightly as you reach for the waistband of your pants, undoing them and sliding them down your legs, along with your underwear, his dilated pupils are fixated on the silvery thread of your arousal stretching. Your heartbeat quickens, a flush heating your body up at the deep assertion of, “Attagirl. Come here.”
With a deep sigh, you find the courage to surrender to the experience, encouraged by how much he seems to want this. You shift your position, allowing him to steer you to straddle his face, your knees sinking into the soft cushions on either side of his head. Your core hovers tantalizingly close to his waiting mouth, aching for the pleasure he promises to deliver. 
Not knowing when his hand sneakily crawled between your legs, you are caught by surprise when he drags a finger through your slit, gathering the moisture and spreading it around. “This all for me?”
“Hmmm,” you confirm, heartbeat shooting straight downwards, pulsing against his finger. “All for you.”
“Don’t be shy, take a seat,” A deep rumble vibrates in his chest, he’s looking drunk already, and you twitch upwards with the way hits your wetness, then, he’s massaging the tension of your thighs holding your body up. “All of your weight, sweet girl. Don’t hold back. Just sit. I promise I’ll make you feel so good, it’ll feel so good, just—” He raises his head to lick an galvanizing stripe right where you want him and you moan, the experience all the more elevated by being able to see how his eyes flutter close as if he’s feeling in and the focused pinch of his eyebrows. 
Trembling legs weakened by his begging, you begin to lower yourself onto him, the searing, wet warmth of his breath against your sensitive, aching folds making you gasp. His hands guide you and you hold onto his bulging biceps, his touch firm yet gentle as he helps you find the perfect angle, anchoring you in place. 
“Le – ah! Leo—n!” You can’t even arch off from the couch when his mouth dives into your tender cunt, only able to throw your head back and tremor in place because he has you in an iron grip against him, fingers sinking into the plush of your hips the moment he hears the stutter of your sweet whining. 
He hums, and you feel the vibrations reverberate inside you, mouth hanging open when his tongue delves in, as well. 
“So good — shit…” You fall forward, hands finding purchase on the armrest of the couch, your nails digging into the fabric as his skilled tongue dances against your most sensitive parts, exploring and teasing with an expertise that leaves you respiring, a particularly shocking jolt of ache striking and leaving your vision with dancing stars when he gently nips at your clit with his teeth, your hips spasming, but unable to even squirm in peace because he won’t let you move away from him. “That! That — ah, yes, yes!”
He is just delighted and it shows in his excited panting when it gets you to start rocking your hips in sync with him, and after a while, falling back and letting you take control of the pace. 
He traces delicate patterns against your most intimate parts, setting a pattern and then breaking it, building you up and pulling you back down, teasing and exploring with a fervent hunger. “That’s perfect — yes, Leon, you’re making me feel so good, you’re — hmm! —”
The groaning moan is swallowed by an even prettier whine when you pull on his hair, it wasn’t the intention to get him to do this, you were just particularly feeling good, but you try again, and he shudders this time, a more restrained version of the sound, you swear, literally makes you gush. 
“You sound — you sound so pretty moaning from making me feel good— So pretty—” You can’ complete the sentence as he sucks on your clit, only able to babble. “So pretty, so pretty…!”
You absolutely weren't expecting being accidentally called pretty would be the final straw to start palming himself against his jeans and fucking dry hump his hand, leaving only one hand to hold you down, and he wraps his entire arm around your waist to staple you to his mouth, you feel the veins and the flexing muscles on your skin from how much strength he’s using, and it’s enough to heighten the throb in your cunt.. 
“You’re gonna come in your pants from eating me out?” The bucking of your hips becomes harsher, faster, the coil in your stomach tightening just from seeing his blissful mien and urgency of his hip thrusts, walls contracting around his tongue. “That’s so fucking sexy—”
The pleasure builds, spiraling higher and higher, each flick of his tongue sending you higher and higher, his ability to read just when you get close is exquisite, and you enjoy him slowing you down, each flick and swirl of his tongue pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy, but not quite getting you there, his own hand matching that pace and edging himself on, as well. 
The world narrows down to the sensations between your legs, the sound of your own moans building in speed and pitch mingling with his fervency, a blast of heat building deep within you unexpectedly fast, like dropping from the peak of a roller coaster, a wildfire spreading. “So close, so close, so close so closesoclose!”
You cry out his name as your pleasure crescendos, he holds your gaze the entire time through it, an explosion of sensation that engulfs you in waves of ecstasy, your voice mingling with his muffled groans of satisfaction against your sensitive flesh, body oscillating with pleasure, every nerve ending electrified by the intoxicating completion Leon provides — and he laps everything up, 
He does not give you one single break. 
The next second, you’re knocked on your back, and then flipped on your stomach like a ragdoll, and he shoves you up toward the other armrest of the couch until you have to hold onto it and hold yourself up — and you have to, from how much your thighs are trembling. You don’t even have the time to look back after hearing the frantic fumbling of his zipper being pulled down before feeling his rock-hard length gliding through your puffed and abused cunt, and a pained whine shakes your body as you snap your knees shut. “Leon—Leon—I can’t—”
“You can,” he coats himself in your dripping wetness, and you’ve accidentally created more friction for him by snapping your legs together, he’s just dragging himself against you, not entering, but pushing strong enough that it gets you to shake and squirm to get away, but he hooks one arm across your torso and grips your shoulder, pulling you up so your back is flush against his sweaty, burning chest. He extends an arm and places his hand just beside yours for support. “You’re so perfect taking everything I give you. My sweet girl, always so good to me, so gorgeous — just look at you.”
He gently nudges your chin up to get you to look at something, and —
You are looking straight at the reflection of yourself in the window ahead, Leon’s chin on your other shoulder, he is also staring, watching you there — both of you look so fucked out already. 
He seems to be in a more of a drunken daze than you are, his hair is so sexily messed up as if it was deliberately styled, the fact that it was you has you clenching around nothing. You hiss when the head of his cock slips in momentarily, only to slip out as he keeps the motion of sliding back and forth,  teasing, edging, your moans become softer, yelp-ushered, and shorter.  
“Look how pretty you are,” he nips at your earlobe, looking straight into your eyes in the window. You see the raw desire etched across your face, the sheen of sweat glistening on your skin, and the unbridled lust that courses through your veins — the sight of yourself, lost in the throes of passion, sends a rush of arousal through you. 
He begins to bite and suckle at your neck and shoulder as the edging persists, the tension within you, yet again, beginning to stretch beyond belief without a snap at horizon, your whole body is quivering at how fast it’s coming down on you. 
“I’m gonna— Leo–n, please, please—!”
You’re teetering on the edge of ruin, the need for release becoming all-consuming. You cling to his well-built, thick arm holding you to his chest, seeking an anchor amidst the overwhelming pleasure. A particularly sharp bite at the most meaty part of your shoulder makes you cry out and he begins mumbling in your ear, needy, and keeps up the same pace just for your pleasure even though he sounds so needy. “Come for me, I want it, pretty girl, come on, give it to me—” 
With a final plunge, Leon relinquishes the tease and thrusts deep inside you, filling you completely to the hilt, and your vision goes completely white as pleasure crashes over you in a wave of intensity, your body attempting to thrash around with the force of your orgasm, his chest shudders at your strangled cry. 
He stays buried deep within your convulsing walls and just breathes and softly hisses as you come down from your high, following you as you fall forward to rest your head on your forearms on the armrest. 
He plants kisses on the ball of your shoulder, trailing a line all the way to the other one, and then coming back to your nape. “You okay?”
You whine in response, completely blissed, and feel him jump inside you.
He sighs with force. “Don’t rile me up like that just yet.”
“‘m not doin’ ‘nything…”
“You don’t know what you do to me.” His chest rumbles from how thick and deep his voice lowers, albeit in affection. “You could be watering flowers or something and I’d go out of my mind for you.”
You weakly sputter in laughter, heart expanding nonetheless. “Watering flowers?”
“Yeah, I mean—”
“Couldn’t you have chosen something mundanely and unconsciously sexy. Like, I don’t know, sitting and reading a book?”
He scoffs, but you can tell he’s tiredly endeared. “Reading is sexy to you?”
“Well. You squint your eyes and clearly need glasses but the concentration is definitely hot.”
“I don’t need glasses.”
“You do. Leon, baby, you squint when you’re trying to read—”
“Maybe because I’m trying to understand what I read—”
“You don’t understand anything you read, then? Because you do it all the time.”
“That’s ridiculous, I’ve never had a problem with my vision.”
“Uh-huh. Yeah, sure, dumb jock of mine.”
He responds with one singular fast and shallow thrust, testing the waters, lips curling up against your shoulder at the sweet sound rising from you. “You must have gotten the rest you needed if you’re sassing me.” 
“Fuck—” you hiss at the stretch, so delicious, stings so good. “Leon, can we just—”
“No,” He presses you forward, squishing you, and one of your hands digs into the armrest and the other one on his forearm that lines like a special pillow just for you to bury your head in. Your teary eyes accuse him in the window, your mind playing tricks on you again and makes it seem like they flash a deep red at you like some demon in your imagination. “Eyes on the window, watch me.”
He starts torturously slow, setting a lazy ebb and flow, the tip of his cock aimed to hit your G-spot every time he inches into you, his fingers are curled underneath your chin and still making you watch, but you can only look at how feral he is marking your neck like he’s some vampire, sucking and popping noises spreading around your body in ripples, and behind your tears, you can see the red eyes still on yours.   
“Faster,” you sob, feeling like you’re about to pass out from yet another building orgasm but know ultimately that’s not going to happen and it’s just how well he wrecks you. 
He moans obscenely into your ear, completing that with a delighted hiss as your nails mark his forearm laced with defined veins. “Gonna come for me again, huh? How many minutes has it been, and you’re gushing already? Are you just that perverted or is it me?”
“Yes, you, it’s you.” You throw your head back and rest it on his shoulder, and he lowers the fingers on your chin to hold you by the throat against him, putting slight pressure with at the two sides of your neck — not cutting your airway, but the blood flow to your brain, plunging you into cloud-soft, pleasure-fueled fuzziness.
“Inside?” he asks for permission, strained. His thrusts pick up, not shallow, but brutal all the way, and so do your whimpers. “Can I—” 
You can imagine the sensation of the warmth of him spilling into you. You’re so thankful for actively looking for hook-ups before this and getting on birth control for it. “Yeah, inside, come inside me—”
He bites down again, it has to be a new favorite thing for him, and he reaches down to circle your clit, pressing and playing, gentle and then sharp. 
You feel a familiar fullness growing, and clench yourself up, it makes Leon hiss. “Bathroom—” you choke, panicked. “We have to stop, I have to—”
He doubles the finger on your clit and you squeak, squeezing your thighs together — something’s coming and he keeps hitting that spot over and over and over again — you’re going to fucking wet yourself — “Leon, I’m serious, I’m gonna—”
“It’s not what you think it is,” he says, reassuring, caring, peppering kisses everywhere.
How is he so sure! 
“No, no, I can’t— Leon, Leon, Leon, Leon!”
Third time, third time it’s something else, you can’t, you can’t—
“You can.” He grunts, smothering your squirming by his weight. “Go ahead sweet girl, just like that. You’re doing wonderful, I got you. Let it go. Let it come.”
You hear the brief spray of something, the trickle of liquid between your thighs and the intermittent whining of his as he comes inside, but you swear you fucking pass out for a good fifteen seconds from how the coil of pleasure detonates in your core and shatters your consciousness in a foggy haze.
You fucking squirted. 
Didn’t even know you could do that. 
He made you because he was jealous.   
“Asshole,” you cry-mumble, trembling like a leaf. “My couch.”
He just laughs. His eyes are still glowing red in the window’s reflection. 
You’re too sleepy for this.
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You’re dreaming that you’re Leon. 
It’s a weird nightmarish vision bleeding pulsating black at the edges probably fueled by imagining him as a mean demon ravishing you yesterday. 
One moment you’re looking down at yourself suffering in your sleep at the backseat of a car, head resting on his lap, some blond man even buffer than Leon is driving the car, you can see the outline of a scar at the side of his face and you call him Major Krauser; and the other you’re intensely gazing at yourself in the bathroom mirror, eyes are still red, but this time, there are dark veins mapping all over your body, all over your face, and they’re pulling back and moving.
You startle awake to an unfamiliar bedroom, a dull ache in your chest, weak and absolutely sick to your stomach that it feels like your guts are restlessly moving around. 
“The hell?” Just where are you right now? This isn’t your home. “Leon? Leon!”
Soft, muted hues adorn the walls, casting a serene ambiance that envelops the room, but you’re far from calm, the tight feeling in your chest pushing up into your lungs. Gentle lighting, emanating from carefully placed fixtures, are dancing upon the surfaces, creating a mockingly soothing ambiance with a faint scent of cleanliness, mingling with freshness.
You are on the plush bed, adorned with crisp linens and plump pillows, the centerpiece of the room, with bedside tables holding the essentials within arm's reach. Ahead is a cozy seating area with its comfortable armchairs and a snug loveseat and a work desk, strategically positioned near a well-lit window or a dedicated reading lamp. This awfully looks like a hotel room. 
He emerges from a door, and you see the glimpse of a bathroom behind him before he shuts it behind him. “Hey, you’re awake.”
The anxiety of the gap in your memory dissipates the moment you see him.
“And confused, where is this? Why don’t I remember getting here?” You grimace and prop your body to sit up, pressing the heel of your hand to where your heart is, his eyes flicker to the motion, eyebrows dropping down. 
He sits on the edge of the bed, faintly smiling, trying to hide his worry. “You were sleeping.”
You reach for the bottle of water sitting on the bedside table to your right. “And why did you feel the need to bring me somewhere while I was asleep?”
He eerily looks mysterious for a second. “You remember me talking about the gift I was given?”
“Yeah..?” 
“I’ve shared it with you.” 
“Oh-kay…” God, that water was heavenly. You weren’t aware that you were parched. “Is that why I feel sick? Did we go out last night and get blackout drunk or something, is that it?” 
“You feel sick?” You stop playing with the plastic bottle when his face hardens. “You shouldn’t be hurting, why…”
“Can we dial it back a little?” You raise your hands, remembering your priorities. “Leon, where are we? I can’t be here, I need to go to work, there is this article about the Spanish guest President Graham has dropped everything to meet with today and I need to get it out—”
“I’ve called in for you. You’re good.” 
Well. 
It was truly the right call to make given just how weird you’re feeling, just on the precipice of getting badly sick, you’re grateful he took the initiative for you but it wouldn’t have been bad to be told before he did this. The newspaper could have caused big trouble. “I would have appreciated it more if you asked me first.”
Leon looks genuinely bothered, you don’t know if it’s because you’re telling him off. “Sorry about that, I had no time before—”
“Time for what?” 
“Well…” He trails off, lost in thought. “How about I start from the beginning?”
“I’m more than happy to listen, but first, where are we? Spoilers are fine.”
A voice you don’t know abruptly cuts in and makes you jump. “Spain, sweetheart. You’re in Spain.”
Why the hell is there a stranger in your room?
“Who the hell are you?” You pull the covers up even though you’re not naked and dressed in a casual outfit you have no memory of throwing on. His presence in this room feels like a security breach because you’re in bed. “Why are you — Leon, why is—“ 
“Krauser.” Leon shoots up from his seat in urgency. “I told you to—”
What he said registers suddenly. “Spain?” You’re unbelievably alert. It’s the guy you saw in your dream, driving the car. Leon calls him the same name you heard in it, as well. “Leon, who is this, what is he talking about?”
His chest puffs up in concentrated dejection, misery engulfing him as he looks at you, mute. You ask him with your eyes to tell you the random guy in your room is kidding, but he doesn’t. 
You edge closer to the other side of the bed like you’re some scared animal. “What the fuck is going on?”
The glare he gives to the guy would have scared you shitless had it not been for the shock you’re going through. “Get out.”
This isn’t a prank. 
You finally explode, hands gripping the linens in a tight ball, heart beating a mile an hour. “Listen, I would like to be spoken to! Spain? Can you please explain it to me already!”
“Your boyfriend has given you the Las Plagas parasite, and you’re here to go through the initiation ceremony, so to speak. You’re to be presented to our Lord. Sorry, kid.” A pitying chuckle. “Should have had better taste in men.”
Huh.
Huh?
The very military-looking man, with the beret and the outfit and all, says it with the most fed up and serious intonation ever that a loud, ringing, involuntary laugh comes out from you and rings in the room, but something in your stomach hurts from the force of it, so you double down in pain, gasping. Something moves in you. “What… God, fuck, ow…”
You clutch your abdomen, the pain intensifying with each passing moment. It feels as though something is writhing inside you, twisting and contorting with a sickening energy. It’s foreign. Doesn’t belong in your body, you’re about to hyperventilate. 
Your mind struggles to process the gravity of the situation unfolding before you. Spain? Parasites? Initiation ceremony? It all sounds like a macabre nightmare, but the agony coursing through your body is alarmingly real.
You don’t know when Leon moved to get to you, but he is next to you all of a sudden, supporting you, eyes widening with concern, his earlier mysterious demeanor crumbling away. He moves swiftly, his hand reaching out to prop you. "Easy, take deep breaths, it’ll pass, I promise, I’ve got you," His voice drips with something icy as the person he’s addressing changes. “You told me that shit would take away her pain.”
Major Krauser watches the scene unfold with a mixture of detachment and sympathy. His presence is imposing in his stern countenance. "I told you it would make it easier," he interjects, gruff. "The worst of it is over. Superior species process differently than the regular one."
“Can’t we just—”
Fear grips you like a vice as you try to comprehend the magnitude of what is happening. "Why... What have you done to me?" you manage to make out, wavering with both pain and confusion.
His hands move gently, yet frantically to caress your arms in attempts to comfort you through the pain. “I saved you.”
“Oh, you are gone in the head, rookie.”  
Leon looks scary, a barely contained rage just under the surface, gripping you tighter. 
Your mind races, trying to make sense of the fragmented information you've been given. It all feels like a nightmarish delusion, an absurd reality you've been thrust into.
What’s going on? Just what’s happening right now?
Gasping for oxygen, you manage to choke out a question, desperation just beneath. "What kind of sick game is this?"
Krauser, stoic and unyielding, interrupts with a dispassionate tone, his eyes fixed on you with an unsettling intensity. "It's not a game. Lord Saddler seeks vessels, chosen ones who can carry the power of Las Plagas. You were chosen, through Leon."
You reel back, disbelieving. "Chosen? Lord Saddler? Leon, what in the world—"
Leon's gaze turns somber, regret across his face. "I made a choice, so we could be together. So you would be protected." He becomes pleading. “The world is about to change forever—”
Oh what the fuck.
You begin to cough uncontrollably, slapping a palm on your mouth, whole body wrecked by the velocity of the fit.
There’s blood when you remove your hand. 
“Oh, god,” you whimper, but the spillage of blood also marks the ebbing away of the pain, it’s gradually fading.  
“Make her drink it again. It should be fine, three days have passed.” 
Major Krauser, the enigmatic man who claimed you had been infected, remains stoic but watches your distress intently before leaving the room from another door. 
Three days. Three days? You slept for three days?
“I want to go home. I want to leave.”
Leon sighs, visibly sad. “I know, sweet girl, but I can’t let you go anywhere right now.” 
“Why!” You yank away from him, crawling to put some distance between him and you. You trust Leon, you see that he is loyal to you, but can’t stop freaking out. “Then explain it to me! What the hell is Las Plagas or whatever the hell it’s called! Just what did you do to me?”
“First, you have to know I’m — I was a government agent. I work to wipe out bioweapons, the kind in Terragrigia. That’s the basic gist of it, anyways. Spain was a mission. To save the President’s daughter.”
“What.”
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Throughout the long and agonizing day, you continue to plead with Leon, hoping desperately that he will release you from your confining prison. Each time, he feigns sympathy and expresses apologies, but his determination remains unyielding. The realization that the man you love has become your captor sinks its fangs deeper into your psyche, a tormenting truth that threatens to shatter your sanity.
Moved to a more luxurious room, attended to by servants who treat you as though you were some revered figure, you feel the suffocating weight of your captivity. Leon, on the other hand, freely comes and goes, moving about with an air of authority and control here in this unknown location. 
The stark contrast between your roles within this twisted dynamic only further amplifies the madness of the situation. It becomes increasingly difficult to maintain your composure when everything around you appears normal, yet you are trapped, on the verge of losing your grip on reality.
Leon's attempts to justify his actions, delivered with a soft and soothing cadence, only serve to deepen the chasm between the man you once knew and this deranged version standing before you. He speaks of a global project involving the parasitic vaccination of the entire world, claiming that he only sought to protect you and longed for your reunion in this new world order. 
According to his words, everyone will be connected through what he refers to as the Holy Body, and he brought you here to shield you from the chaos that looms outside. He even speaks of defying some enigmatic figure known as "their Lord," as if he had waged a battle for your favor against him.
It’s insane. He’s insane, but looks perfectly okay saying all of this stuff. Leon wasn’t like this one month ago, it’s Spain that changed him, the dots connect themselves — the gift that he talks about wasn’t a gift at all, he was most likely infected against his will like you were, and now believes in the batshit crazy nonsense he’s talking about like it’s gossip over tea.  
You realize quite a bit late that this is a cult because of his perfectly ordinary demeanor. He’s Leon and you trust him, and it stalls your thought process. 
You have to repeat it over and over again to process it.
Leon took you against your will, to a fucking cult. 
They even have a name for god’s sake, Los Illuminados — the ‘servants’ are cultists. It’s easy to fall into the normalcy and accept it the way Leon puts it, like some fairy tale, like telling you about news from another country. 
With the new knowledge of his past, you don’t know to be in awe of him or terrified, your whole relationship unraveling in transparent context littered between the lines as you rediscover who he is as a person and why he did the things he did — but definitely lean towards the latter the more you can’t get through to him to let this stop already, it becomes more clear to you very quick there’s a certain instability to him now that wasn’t there before, something dark as if he’s balancing himself on the razor’s edge of control, it swims closer to the surface whenever you mention you want to go home. 
The Leon you remember was gloomy at times, yes, but he was also rational, calm, and grounded. He was unyielding in the face of adversity and never subscribed to such ludicrous beliefs. The dissonance between the Leon of the past and the current incarnation, who mindlessly parrots the teachings of the cult, leaves you utterly bewildered. You struggle to reconcile the two versions, grappling with the question of who he truly is and why he committed these unthinkable acts.
In these moments, when Leon reverts into the preaching mode, his gaze becomes vacant, as if he is merely regurgitating the words he has been fed. It is only when his attention turns to your well-being that glimpses of the man you love flicker to the surface. 
The conflicting emotions within you reach a boiling point, leaving you paralyzed and unsure of how to proceed.
The gaping divide between the Leon you once cherished and this altered persona rattles your very core. Fear grips your heart as questions swirl in your mind. What now? What lies in store for you? The uncertainty looms like a dark cloud, casting shadows of doubt and despair over your fragile existence.
The answer and possible salvation comes to you in the form of a man, a mysterious figure who materializes from an entry point to the room you had no idea was there. 
The dim light casts eerie shadows on his face as he greets you with a slight bow. 
“Who are you?”
“Luis Serra, Princesita. Your only chance.” He nods, lighthearted, but you see the weight of his seriousness. “We don’t have much time. If you want to get rid of the parasite, come with me, I’ll explain on the way.”
Why do you feel like all you do is being swept with whatever current washes down your way? 
It’s bizarre to be running away — from Leon, of all people. Go with this random man number two, where? To do what? What happens to Leon, then? 
Thrown off by his sudden appearance, you try to assess the situation, searching for any signs of deception or ulterior motives. 
Despite your apprehension, something about his urgent demeanor and the glimmer of hope in his eyes instill a soft landing for trust in him, you feel that he can help you somehow — but there is the obvious elephant in the room. “What about Leon?”
“I’m doing this because he asked,” Luis replies, his words carrying a sense of loyalty and commitment. They have some sort of history you don’t know. 
Without further delay, he administers a serum, providing you with a temporary respite from the torment inflicted by the parasite Leon’s infected you with. It offers relief, albeit temporary, buying you precious time before the inevitable returns in Luis’ words.
You decide to go with him and see where this path leads, you have nothing better to do, can’t see any way out of this. 
He motions for you to follow him, leading you through a concealed passage that winds its way beneath the labyrinthine corridors of the cult's stronghold — a castle, as you’re shocked to take in. The path is bleak, the air heavy with a musty scent, but you push forward, driven by pure survival instinct to get away to safety.
Luis starts explaining not too much into your journey, hushed, he has all the answers you needed in the first place, quick to the point. "Las Plagas are ancient organisms with a malevolent sentience. They infest and control their hosts, erode their will and sanity. They were made to be… weapons to be harnessed by Los Illuminados. Those who succumb to it become pawns of their leader, Saddler, carry out his agenda. Slaves to his will. They don’t have their minds intact, just flesh prisons to obey his orders."
Your first thought is of Leon, the horrible sinking feeling unspun in your stomach. 
Luis knows what you’re thinking. “Leon… and his buddy Krauser are exceptions. They possess what’s called the superior species, newly engineered.” He raises his eyebrows and tilts his head at the same time, like he’s contemplating a good business deal. “That means free will. To a degree. Their parasites are connected to Saddler, so their bodies can be controlled, but not their minds. Not entirely. They’re not like the inferior ganados. That’s why he was able to seek you out with his own volition.” 
The realization that Leon is trapped within this nightmare strikes you like a blow, your heart sinking with each passing moment. "He isn't controlled?" you inquire, hope blossoming in your chest. "Can you save him too?"
Luis's response is filled with regret, his eyes reflecting a sorrowful truth. "I'm afraid he's beyond saving," he confesses. "The procedure I have can only remove newly hatched eggs, and Leon... well, he's already been consumed by this darkness."
The words reverberate through your mind, the horror of the situation fraying your soul. "But... I can't just abandon him!" you protest, determination and anguish trying to overpower one another.
"You'll be gone forever too if you don't," Luis warns. "It's now or never. If you hesitate, if he catches even a hint of your trail, it will be over."
“You said you were helping me because he told you to.”
“Before he was lost, yes, he made a final wish.” Luis softens, and you realize he’s grieving, too. “He told me to take you as far away as possible from him if he ever were to try and get you involved in this mess. Because he would never do that to you in his right mind, so he said. A total romantic underneath all that ice, eh?”
He would never do that to you in his right mind… 
You flash back to three days ago, to his words, to how he said he loved you, all his adoring, the broken dam of affection and how he didn’t hold back anymore. 
He wouldn’t have decided to go through with opening up to you like that had it not been for the parasite’s influence? 
Uncertainty dangles heavy as you fight with the bitter reality you thought was a dream come true, the heart-wrenching realization that the man you love has been ensnared by the very darkness he sought to protect you from — that only giving into it broke his control of keeping away from you emotionally.
Regret etches itself onto Luis's face as he observes your inner turmoil. "I'm truly sorry, Princesita," he offers with empathy. 
The moment hangs suspended, an agonizing choice looming before you, as you weigh the love you hold for Leon against the desperate need to escape the clutches of this cult. 
You don’t want to leave Leon, even when there’s something clearly wrong with him that can’t be fixed, but on the other hand… 
“Can you honestly tell me he isn’t the man I know?”
“He is less and more.” His tentativeness bleeds into the clearest possible simplification he’s able to give you.. “But isn’t the same.” 
“So what do we do? What should I do?”
You still cannot wrap your head around your whole world flipping upside down, can’t comprehend you have to leave Leon behind, you barely processed him being an agent. You’re stalling. Hesitating. And deep down in your heart, you know why. It’s because you don’t want to go. 
Leon is still Leon. 
But you’re terrified. 
 "The choice is ultimately yours to make. But I implore you to consider your own well-being and the chance to break free. I know that’s what he truly wanted."
“I—”
But as you open your mouth to respond, a sudden, excruciating pain shoots through your head, causing you to cry out in agony. It feels as if someone has driven a searing spike into your skull, rendering you momentarily incapacitated. Your body crumples, and you find yourself on your knees, clutching your head, desperately trying to block out the piercing ringing in your ears.
Amidst the torment, your consciousness is abruptly whisked away, transported to an ethereal realm. It is a dream-like state, observing the world through the lens of another's mind. The golden chandeliers cast a cascade of shimmering light upon turning corners and ornate doors, as the person you are connected to races frantically through the maze-like passages.
The frenzied movement abruptly halts, and your vision pulsates in tandem with the rapid beat of a heart. It’s Leon’s voice echoing through the recesses of your mind, a hidden depth of anger and desperation at the heart of his control. "I feel you," he utters, a slight tremble of heartbreak. "You're in here. I know you're listening. Where are you? Why did you leave?"
Realization dawns upon you, a profound understanding that you are inhabiting Leon's thoughts, sharing his fears and confusion. The sheer intensity of the experience overwhelms you, and you cry out, "No, make it stop!" Your consciousness briefly returns to the physical realm, tears streaming down your face, the pain of the connection too much to bear. "It hurts!"
The ethereal realm engulfs you once more, Leon's emotional turmoil swirling around you. His voice billows with remorse and longing. "It might... Things might have escalated a bit too quickly," he confesses, his tone laden with regret. "It's my fault, I got too cocky, too impatient. But I never wanted to scare you off. I only ever wanted to keep you safe. You have to trust me and open your eyes so I can do that, sweet girl, okay? I'll come get you. We’ll talk it out. You can’t run."
Confusion intertwines with the pain coursing through your being. Leon's words perplex you, as if there is a hidden meaning beneath his pleas. "My eyes?" you utter, the question hanging, unanswered.
Luis gets so loud that you’re brought back to your location for a split second. “Shit. Do not open your eyes!”
Leon hears what he says somehow — and it suddenly comes to you that if you’re in his head, he is also in your head. “Luis. I should have known.”
You feel a sharp pinch at the side of your neck that cannot even compete with the tremendous headache, and the vision begins to crumble, Leon getting fainter — his presence fading away, the last you hear of him is a furious and equally anguished, “Goddamnit, no!” before everything goes black.  
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Luis detects the stirring of your consciousness before you do, and as your awareness is brought back from the dormant state you were in, he calls to you in the darkness surrounding everything. “Don’t open your eyes yet.”
You shift around, feeling the coolness of a rough surface against your back and the firmness of the stone floor beneath you. The silence is broken by a peculiar sound—an unsettling symphony of metallic echoes. Chains. Accompanied by Luis’ feet shuffling around, they slither across the ground, you can almost envision their length, extending and coiling, like serpents of iron, their echoes intertwine, creating an eerie melody because you can’t see them. 
“What are you doing?”
Luis's response is calm and purposeful. "Setting the scene," he explains. The sound of nails being hammered into stone with an underlying jingle punctuates his words, causing you to jump in surprise. "For Lancelot seeking his Guinevere."
The pieces start to come together, albeit slowly. "You want to trap him," you realize.
Luis acknowledges your understanding. "Wonderful, Princesita," he praises. "You catch on fast. Leon is connected to you somehow, and we can't progress if he sees through your eyes. So, we need to create an illusion."
Confusion and concern overflow as you question the feasibility of their plan. "But Leon is... He could be listening right now."
Luis dismisses your worries. "Do you feel that he is sharing your head at the moment?" he asks. The uncertainty in your response betrays your lack of knowledge. "Ey, you'd know," he asserts. "That means he isn't present. Perfect."
Doubts linger in your mind as you consider the risks. "Will it work? He's... well, I recently learned he's an agent. I don't think it'll be easy."
"Whose side are you on?" he teases, playful. But when he senses your unease, he quickly reassures you. "No worries, I get it. He's better with the ladies, I've learned."
You can't help but feel a pang of guilt. "Luis..."
He brushes off your concerns with understanding. "I'm almost done here. He's supposed to think you're alone, so you can't look at me when I tell you to open your eyes. I'll be hiding. Don't talk to me, don't acknowledge me, just wait."
Curiosity gets the better of you as you ask, "How are you going to..."
Luis's response is concise and determined. "It won’t be me who’s doing it. It will be you. I will be your distraction.” You hear his footsteps approaching, and something small but heavy being placed on the floor just beside you, hidden from your line of sight. “You’ll hide when he arrives, and when the time comes, I want you to shoot. Don’t worry, it’s a tranquilizer gun. Wish me luck so he won’t kill me on sight, eh?”
It doesn’t take long for him to signal you. 
You open your eyes, the darkness giving way to dimly lit surroundings. The scene before you is carefully arranged, meticulously designed to deceive. The chains that previously echoed through the room now come into view, hanging ominously from the winch on the ceiling, you follow the line with your eyes to see the other end is secured to the stone wall by a circle of nails. The clinks and clanks reverberate, amplifying the tension.
Luis is nowhere to be seen, but his presence lingers, a silent reassurance that you're not alone.
In the deafening silence, doubt gnaws at you, and you question the madness of your current circumstances. 
You’re unsure of what you truly desire, unable to look over how you really just found yourself going along with Luis's plan, not because it feels right, but because your mind is clouded, unable to think clearly. You feel like a reluctant child, accepting the path laid before you simply because it seems to be the only option available.
Uncertainty presses heavily upon you as you contemplate the impending encounter with Leon. Fear grips your thoughts, entwining with the deep-rooted emotions you still harbor for him. Despite the revelations and warnings about his true nature, your heart remains entangled in a web of love and trust, the idea of seeing him again evokes a conflicting mishmash of longing and apprehension. 
You find yourself yearning for his presence, against the knowledge that he is not the same person you once knew when the mere thought of his return conjures a happy expectation of hope within you, a desperate desire to be whisked away from the nightmarish reality that has unfolded — deep, deep down, you pine for him to be the savior, the one who can shield you from the horrors of this supernatural ordeal he inflicted upon you himself.
Yet, simultaneous fear engulfs your soul, you question your own liability, knowing that you still trust him, still harbor the potential to be swayed by his words and actions. The thought terrifies you, the notion that you might have readily agreed to his plans had he presented them differently, had he explained the sinister truth of the parasite in a more inviting manner. It's a terrifying realization, the awareness of your own susceptibility to his influence, and despite everything, he’s the only anchor you can hold on to not be swept away into that chaos. 
You want him to enter the room, to make everything right again, tell you all of this is a nightmare you made up in your head because in the real world you still miss him, and at the same time you also fear what his arrival may entail.
As if attuned to your thoughts, a prickle in your mind disrupts your musings—a subtle trickle of awareness, the sensation of being watched by an invisible presence sharing the same space as you.
So you wait, your heart pounding in your chest, the weight of the impending confrontation with Leon bearing down on you. Every second feels like an eternity as you strain to listen for any sign of his approach. The air grows heavy with anticipation, and your senses are on high alert.
Suddenly, a noise echoes through the chamber, a faint, careful creak of a door opening. Your breath catches in your throat, he was so deadly silent infiltrating the building this basement is in, and you scramble to crouch and hide behind stacked boxes facing his direction, praying to god he hasn’t heard you. 
His eyes search the room in  a hardened gaze, a mask of determination, scanning every corner, every shadow with professional coldness. 
Leon cuts through the silence, as if he’s been hurt by you somehow. "Come on, I know you’re here, you don’t need to hide from me, I’m just here to talk.. Don’t be afraid of me.”
Your heart aches at the sound of his voice, you fight back tears, reminding yourself that this is necessary, for both his sake and your own — you can’t crumble right now, absolutely dreading what actually hearing him out would do to you. 
Luis emerges from where he’s hiding, unknowingly coming to your rescue, stepping forward with calculated confidence. "Looking for someone, Leon?" he asks, dripping amused intrigue.
"Where is she?" Leon demands, and you’ve never heard him like that before — that bone-chillingly cold and intimidating, menacing, low tone is downright terrifying. 
“Not even a hola for your old friend?” 
Leon fucking pulls a gun on him and your heart jumps to your throat. “Where. is. she?”
Luis raises his hands in a placating gesture, a sly smile playing on his lips. "No need for violence, my friend. I'm here to help."
Leon's grip on his weapon tightens, his suspicion evident. "I don’t need your help anymore. Tell me where she is."
Luis chuckles softly with a trace of mischief. "Ah, the stubbornness of a man in love. But I'm afraid your Princesita is in another castle."
Anger flashes in Leon's eyes, his frustration mounting. "Don’t bullshit me Luis, I know she’s here. What are you up to?"
Luis takes a step closer, sympathetic as much as he’s purposeful. "I've done what you asked of me. She's safer without you." 
Leon's face contorts with disbelief and fury, threatening to consume him. "Safer? You have no idea what you’re talking about. There is no safer place on earth right now than by my side. The world's about to go shit. The President is down, and the impending mass vaccination is nothing but a precursor to chaos. Do you think this is some deranged lover’s obsession? No."
With hopeless resoluteness, Leon continues to pour out his frustrations and fears. "Someone, be it the WHO, Terrasave, or the BSAA, someone will eventually expose the truth about the parasite spreading through medicines. And when that happens, all hell will break loose — do you understand the scale of what I’m talking about? The illusion of a smooth and controlled resolution is nothing more than a lie, and we both damn well know it."
Emotions wash over Leon, leaving him vehement and exposed, self-deprecating, raw. "I may have failed in my mission, and I may have failed everyone, but I refuse to let her become a mindless puppet like those villagers and cultists. I won't let her perish chasing scope after scope for news articles that’ll get her killed. She's all I have left." His voice quivers with a defeated tenacity and desperation, he shakes his gun at Luis. "So yes, I made a choice. It's the right one. It's the only one. A choice where I can be with her, where she can stay safe. A choice where I become the monster, but I can’t care less about the consequences anymore. So, get out of my way, Luis, and take that getaway chopper of Ada's while I'm still giving you the chance. That a good deal?"
“What happens when Saddler loses?” Luis sighs through his nose, totally unaffected by all that talk. “What happens if you die on that hill?”
His question lingers for a moment before Leon responds, less baleful and more mournful, even accompanied with a strange sense of happiness. "I know the end. As long as I get to die in her arms, it doesn't matter."
In that instant, something within you snaps. The anguished anger and the raw empathy you feel for Leon flow through your veins, overpowering any rational thought. Without hesitation, you make a decision that feels both natural and inevitable — to shoot the tranquilizer. 
You pull the trigger, the dart finding its mark with an unsettling precision, and time slows as you watch it puncture his skin, him flinching with a hand clamping around the dart and yanking it out, his wide, red eyes finding yours as you stand up, the realization dawning in his eyes. 
You want to cry when it’s relief and happiness that comes first to him upon seeing you as if on instinct, and confusion and hurt wash over his features next as he sees what’s in your hands. It's a sight that cuts through your heart. He staggers, toward you, his body fighting against the encroaching numbness, as if defying the very fate that befalls him. With outstretched arms, he reaches for you, fingers trembling, yearning for connection amidst the sense of betrayal. 
Yet, despite his desperate efforts, his strength fails him. His legs give way beneath him, and he tumbles to the ground, his reach falling short. You watch, your heart splitting in two, as he crumples in a heap of confusion. His fingers graze at where your presence is, a touch that never finds its mark.
In the waning moments before unconsciousness claims him, his eyes search yours, pleading for answers that you struggle to provide. You stand rooted to the spot, grappling with guilt and anguish, questioning the validity of your actions, second-guessing the choices that have led to this heartbreaking scene.
As Leon finally succumbs to the claim of the tranquilizer, his body surrendering to the oblivion of unconsciousness, you're left with your final commitment, crystal clear. 
Your heart was set on this from the start. You were just too scared to admit it. 
You’ll stay with him in this darkness.
Leon’s all alone here, knows he’s doomed by the narrative, can’t leave — and all he thought throughout that was you and what would happen to you.��
You can’t leave this man in the solitude of tragedy, with the first ever selfishness of his was seeking you out despite himself to protect you. No moment has solidified his love for you more than this. How he thinks of you tremendously. 
You can’t not love this man. You can’t bring yourself to obey his wishes and abandon him.
The lamb doesn’t want to leave the slaughterhouse. 
With a heavy yet determined tone, you utter the words that seal your fate. "Go, Luis."
Luis protests, filled with concern and a touch of reluctance. "You can’t—"
Tears well up in your eyes as you gaze at Leon's unconscious form, lying helpless on the cold ground. The depth of your emotions overwhelms you, but you gather your resolve. "I can't abandon him now. Not after everything he's been through. He needs someone by his side."
Luis hesitates, torn between honoring your wishes and his genuine concern for your well-being, making a final attempt to persuade you. "I understand your heartache, but you're risking everything for him. Are you sure about this? There's so much at stake — you’ll become just like him, you know? You’ll never be able to leave Los Illuminados and go back to your old life."
“You don’t get it do you? It’s true that I'm scared, Luis. Scared of what lies ahead, the stuff you’ve talked about is straight out of a dystopian novel. But I'm more scared of losing him in all of this.” It haunts you how he said it doesn’t matter if he gets to die in your arms, no regard for his own well-being and health. Leon has never cared for himself enough, that much you know, but to think his entire system has collapsed like this, to the point where he’s let himself go entirely and came to you while wounded… It’s something you can’t turn a blind eye to. A cry for help you can’t ignore. “He looked for me in this chaos. Underneath all of the excuses of protection, Leon’s just scared. He doesn’t want to be alone.” You can’t look away now that you’ve seen everything. “I can’t go back anyway after knowing this. I’d never forgive myself. It's better to face whatever’s coming with him, no matter what horrors it holds.”
“There’s absolutely nothing I can do to change your mind?”
The fact that he’s set on doing this and looking out for you until the last second because he has promised Leon and is truly concerned warms your heart up. “You really should catch that ride before it’s too late.” 
“You’re making a mistake.” His concern mingles with a touch of admiration for your unwavering will. “But he’s hell of a lucky bastard to have you by his side throughout it all. This is the sacrifice of your life, I’m not joking. And I hope it’ll be worth it.”
He’s not like you, and that’s okay. You actually admire and envy his sense of self-preservation overweighs his loyalty and promise to Leon, that’s how a normal person should be. But the situation is far from normal, and you’re infected by a mind-altering parasite for fuck’s sake, and you’re not even sure you’re going through the quarter of what Leon has. 
“Thank you Luis.” Touched by his understanding, you reach out and take Luis's hand, gratitude shining through. “For everything.”
A somber atmosphere settles in the room as Luis grows more melancholic. He takes a deep breath before making his final request. "Before I go, there's one last thing I want to ask. Considering we don't know how he’ll react when he wakes up, I think it's best to be cautious. We should chain him up, just to be safe. I don't want him accidentally hurting you in his confused state."
You hesitate, unsure about the idea of restraining Leon, but Luis's earnestness compels you to consider it. "I don't think he would ever harm me..."
Luis interrupts gently. "Oye, let me worry about that, Las Plagas is unpredictable and dangerous. Do me this favor, it’s the least you can do to pay me back, yeah? A little caution won't hurt. And if Leon questions it, you can blame me. I can handle it from a safe distance out of his reach in the comfort of my luxury ride."
With Luis's words echoing in your mind, both of you set to work, struggling like you’re trying to roll a boulder up a hill with the weight of Leon's unconscious body. The effort is tremendous, sweat pouring down your faces as you maneuver his unexpectedly heavy frame. 
Exhausted from the strenuous task, Luis hands you the key, his face flushed with exertion as you finally finish securing Leon in chains. The room is filled with a heavy silence, punctuated only by the sound of your own labored breaths.
As the unvoiced question of what happens now makes itself known between you two, caught in the tension between Luis’ desire to stay and the necessity of his departure. His words come out disconnected, hesitant, obviously having an awkwardness that comes from bidding farewell under such circumstances. "Well..." he begins, trailing off as he struggles to find the right words. "It was a pleasure to know you, Princesita." His smile is half-hearted, betraying the mixed emotions within him. "I hope we never have to meet again."
The unexpected humor in his remark catches you off guard, and a genuine laugh escapes your lips, the sound reverberating through the room, mingling with the faint clinking of the chains as Leon stirs behind you, his presence a constant reminder of what you’ve decided to get yourself into.
Luis's insistence breaks through the brief moment of levity as he implores you, his eyes flicking between you and Leon's kneeling form. "Take care of him," he urges, a sense of responsibility coloring his words. "And yourself."
You offer him a reassuring smile, endlessly thankful for his guidance in getting you to realize Leon’s perspective. "Will do. You too, Luis," you respond, nothing but warmth in your heart for him as you acknowledge his efforts. "Don't feel bad about not being able to help us, please? You've done all you can."
He nods once, his features a blend of bittersweet defeat and acceptance. With a final glance, he retreats into the shadows, his presence fading away. The room feels emptier without him, and sadness washes over you, a stab of guilt for potentially failing him now that you are left alone with your thoughts and the finality of the decision you have made.
The room remains shrouded in an eerie silence, broken only by the faint sound of Leon's steady breaths and the gentle rattling of the chains that bind him. 
Your gaze inevitably falls upon him, bound and unconscious before you. 
The sight of him, held captive by the chains, elicits strange emotions that defy explanation. There is an undeniable allure that emanates from his restrained form, drawing you in despite the chaos that surrounds you. It is a conflicting blend of fascination and revulsion, a cocktail of sensations that confound your senses. You should be consumed by panic, overwhelmed by the dire circumstances and the looming threat of the parasite within you. Yet, in this moment, a strange calm settles within your being. Is it the influence of the parasite that dulls your anxieties, or is it a resolute acceptance of the path you have chosen?
Despite the restraints that hold him captive, there is an undeniable attractiveness that surrounds him, gluing your eyes to the sight before you.
Kneeling on the floor, Leon’s muscular physique is accentuated by the susceptible position he finds himself in, the chains tightly holding his wrists above his head, rendering him defenseless and at your mercy. His sculpted arms, stretched taut and slightly strained, display the evidence of his strength even in his helpless state, veins beneath his skin appear more pronounced, as if awakened by the touch of captivity and the strain of gravity. His tousled locks of blond hair cling to his forehead and darken in shade where they meet with sweat, adding to his prettiness. Even in his unconsciousness, there is a magnetism that emanates from his chiseled features — strong jawline, cheekbones, and glistening lips that have known both determination and tenderness. The pinch of his eyebrows low over his eyes adds a touch of rugged toughness, contrasting with the vulnerability imposed upon him by the chains. His chest rises and falls rhythmically, betraying the calmness of his unconscious state. Light and shadow dance across his defined torso, revealing the slopes and curves that bear witness to his physical prowess. 
It is an unintended pull that arises from the juxtaposition of strength and exposure, dominance and surrender. The image of Leon bound and kneeling, his arms raised and secured by the unyielding chains, creates a powerful visual dichotomy — a captivating blend of control and submitting, strength and fragility.
You didn’t know you were into BDSM. Is this what it is? Why the hell does he look so mouth watering in chains to you when there are more dire matters to feel about — you are being a giant pervert about an unconscious man. Sympathy, desire, and protectiveness intertwine, blurring the lines between what is right and what is alluring. In this moment, you are both drawn to his physical presence and compelled to ensure his well-being, torn between the magic of his bound form and the urge to set him free to not let your thoughts run further.
You have no idea how much time passes before Leon's eyes flutter open, blinking away the haze of unconsciousness, and you stand up from where you were sitting, hands clasped before you in an anxious gesture, fearing his reaction. Panic briefly flashes across his face when the drowsiness clears enough for him to notice he’s bound by heavy chains, his arms held aloft and his movements restricted — the harsh tug on the chains makes you jump and that’s how he spots you standing nearby, concern etched on your features.
"You’re okay," Leon breaks the silence, his words a murmured astonishment. It's not a question, nor is it a statement of certainty. It's an observation imbued with gratitude. He's taken aback, as if his mind is struggling to comprehend that you are here with him at all. That’s the first thing he worries about? That’s what he cares about? “You stayed.”
The corner of your lips tugs upward in a soft, bittersweet smile. "Yeah, I did," you reply. The way he looks at you, as if you hold a small piece of his shattered world together, tugs at your heartstrings.
Leon’s more wary and threat-seeking when he brings up the stranger. “Luis?”  
You start playing with your fingers. "He left.” A pause. “It was my decision.” 
He sits up straighter, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Is… that so?”
It’s so bizarre having a serious conversation with him in chains now that you’re living it. “I’m… I’m sorry for the chains, I, Luis, uh—”
“No, I get it.” He says it like it’s a given and he doesn’t mind it — and that’s when you’re reminded again that he’s a specially trained agent, that’s where the attitude weirdly used to these kinds of things has to come from. “I haven’t given you a reason to trust me.” He gazes at you, his eyes betraying remorsefully hidden emotions, voice dropping down to a low whisper. “Yet you stayed anyway even when I’m like this. I never thought... I never expected anyone would ever, for me… You know.”
Your heart is a soaked towel and he has just wrenched it dry. The way he sees himself physically hurts. "I couldn't leave you, Leon.” You sniffle, head shaking as you confess, revealing your devotion. “I could never leave you."
He reaches out, his restrained hands straining against the chains, as if longing to touch you, to reassure you of his own unwavering devotion. But all he can offer is his words. "That’s all I’ve been terrified of," he admits. It stays unknown to you if the subject of the sentence is you leaving him or you not leaving him. "Ever since I caught myself falling for you, that’s what all this has been about and — this shit inside me amplifies the worst in me, and you’re still here. Damnit.” 
Tears well up in your eyes, blurring your vision, but you refuse to let them fall. "Leon, you are not alone in this." You want to kiss away all worries and fears he keeps to himself, now in front of you in all of their intricate, overthought glory. "I made this choice because I believe in you. I believe in us."
His gaze intensifies, searching you for any trace of doubt or unease. But all he finds is unwavering faith, and a love that refuses to be shaken. "I don't deserve you," he murmurs,  barely above a whisper. All of a sudden, the tiredness you know all so well pushes down on him. "Not after everything."
A soft smile graces your lips, a gentle warmth spreading through your entire being. Luis is wrong. He is definitely wrong — this is Leon, and he’ll always be Leon. "And I don’t deserve your love." He immediately looks like he’s going to disagree on the spot, but you don’t give him the chance. "But here we are anyway. I'm here, no matter what. I’ve made my choice. If you’ll have me too—"
The tension in his shoulders eases slightly. "I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe," he vows, engraved with purpose. Just the way he says it could be added to a resume, the self-confidence and intentness of a professional in his field behind the power. "I'll prove to you that I can be the person you deserve."
"Leon, I already know the person you are. And I'm not going anywhere."
Leon's widened gaze inflames, breathing becoming more labored as he hangs his head down and nods a couple times while hiding his face from you. “Okay.”
You didn’t expect that to make you burst out laughing, and his head shoots up when he hears your laughter echoing in the chamber. “Sorry,” you cover your mouth, turning around to not let him see and think you’re mocking him. “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you.” You manage to turn it down to snickering, screaming at yourself to stop already. “It’s just… that was so unironically you and… God, help. I don’t know why this is so funny to me—”
“Okay...”
“Stop! Stop saying okay.” You laugh again at his intonation, pushing the back of your hand against your nose. “That’s all you can say?”
Some sort of fascination surfaces beneath his stoic mask, like he’s someone who’s hearing the birds chirp for the first time. “Actually, I have a lot to say, but…” You watch him rise, his height allowing him to hold his chained wrists on his waist level. He reaches out with his shackled hands, beckoning you to come to his side, yearning for a connection, “You’re too far away for it.”
You jokingly tease. “Will you be a good boy?”
It has an immediate effect on him, sweet adoration stains into something suggestive, lingering between you like a charged current, and you can feel the shift in his demeanor, the warning tilt of his head, the faint red shine swallowing the blue of his eyes, the chains rattling as he grabs onto them in a tight, restrained grip, body tensing, a coiled energy barely contained. 
As his voice emerges in a single, sharp syllable, a low and husky whisper, “Don’t,” it sends a shiver all over your body. The words are measured, deliberate, and carry an undertow of caution that both entices and warns. It's a dark invitation. 
Oh. 
Oh. 
It’s not just you. 
You’re both fucked up. 
And you take a step closer, closing the distance between you, your heart pounding in your chest, and he watches you like a hawk. “I’m just asking a question.”
His eyes glow with an intense crimson hue in response, piercing through the dim light, making you halt when there’s only about five feet left between you and him. Black veins spread across his skin like intricate patterns of ancient curses, marking him up. And extending from his lower back, a large scorpion-like tail emerges, its barbed stinger poised in the air, and just as how the spine is a series of individual vertebrae, small bones stacked one upon the other, his tail too is articulated, allowing it to curl like a snake, curving and undulating with an eerie grace, almost as if it has a life of its own.
It dances through the air, floating towards you, its presence both beguiling and unsettling. You watch, apprehensive and curious, as Leon manipulates his tail, rotating it to show you every angle. As he nudges you gently with it, an unexpected tenderness shines through his alien appearance. "It won't hurt you," he emphasizes, a soothing reassurance. He looks like a creature plucked from the pages of a fantastical novel, but his care for you remains undeniable. "Try touching it."
You observe the chitinous exoskeleton, marveling at its texture and the otherworldly allure it possesses. "Will you feel it?" you ask, a snap of fidget in your curiosity.
Leon's eyes meet yours, a flicker of a mischievous smile playing at the corner of his lips. "That's a dangerous thing to want, don't you think?" His words carry a double meaning, an underlying invitation to explore the depths of desire that lies beneath the surface. In that moment, you realize you've unknowingly become a participant in his intricate game, a delicate dance of discovering boundaries.
"Leon, half-insect or not, I would want every part of you," you confess, unapologetically honest and smoking with desire. A swelling of boldness overtakes you, fueled by a mix of desire and affection. You take a step closer, your hand reaching out to grasp his tail. The texture surprises you—smooth and warm, defying the expectations of a creature born from nightmares. Leon's tail jerks slightly in response to your touch, the connection between you both sending a jolt of static through where you’re touching, and he is momentarily stunned, his ardor momentarily subdued by your unabashed declaration. “I want you, always.”
"Alright, alright. You made your point," he interrupts, a flicker of bashfulness visible beneath his attempt to maintain a composed facade. The teasing spark in his eyes is replaced by a rare sentiment, his emotions laid bare before you. "Well. " Some sort of self-consciousness fogs his expression as he looks down. "Though I do feel the same,"  he concedes, pink creeping across his cheeks.
But you're not finished. You close the remaining distance between you, your eyes locked with his. "Leon, I love you." You pour your heart into those three words, stronger, unmoving, louder, hoping he understands the depth of your affection if he hasn’t gotten it yet.
He looks away for a brief moment, his gaze fixated on something indiscernible, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. "Yeah," he mumbles softly, almost lost in the space between you.
Undeterred, you reach out to gently grasp his face, turning his gaze back to meet yours. "I love you," you repeat, scolding him that he’s not taking you seriously. You want him to hear it, to understand the magnitude of your feelings.
A flicker of surprise crosses his features, quickly replaced by something akin to relief, leaning into your touch as if you’re the coolness he needs on a hot summer day. He likes hearing it from you, that much is clear, but the unfamiliarity of the sentiment leaves him momentarily at a loss for words. "Okay," he finally responds, his voice a soft affirmation.
You're about to reprimand him, demanding that he say the words you long to hear in return before you unchain him. But before you can voice your frustration, a sudden wave of dizziness crashes over you, throwing your world into disarray. Your vision blurs, the room spinning and tilting on its axis. You desperately blink, hoping to clear your sight, but the disorientation only worsens. The force of gravity seems to intensify, tugging at your stomach and weakening your legs, causing you to stumble forward. The pain strikes you with a merciless blow, knocking you off balance and into Leon's waiting arms. Your hands, once cradling his face, now find purchase on his shoulders for support.
"Hey!" The weight of your limp body causes Leon to follow you down, sinking to his knees just as you do. However, the chains that bind his arms above his head prevent him from fully supporting your torso. In a swift motion, he maneuvers his tail to secure your body against his, stopping you from falling backward. Your head lolls on his shoulder, basically shaking against him.
"Hang in there, come on," he pleads, trying to reach you. "Talk to me, what's happening?"
Struggling to keep the pain under a manageable level, you reply briefly, not wanting to talk. "I don't know... Felt… dizzy..."
"Shit, okay," he curses softly, his concern deepening. "Does it hurt?"
You just make a curt sound, wanting him to let it go and keep yourself from flopping like a fish out of water on the ground from how it’s ripping you apart. 
“I gotta know if it does. Can you tell me?”
You’re suffering, how does he not see? Does he need verbal affirmation that badly?
“Yeah,” you say behind gritted teeth. “Sure does.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to sting you, alright? Only a drop of venom into your bloodstream,” he explains as merciful and comforting as he’s able in your state.  “You’ll feel a pinch but it’ll relax you. It might put you in an… aroused state because of your parasite, but you’ll no longer feel pain — it’ll feel good. I’ll take care of you.”
The mention of the potential side effects of whatever he wants to do to you makes your brow furrow in confusion, but there's no time to dwell on it. The pain has become unbearable, hacking at your every thought. "I'll feel good?" you question, dying for any kind of escape from the burning.
"Yeah," Leon affirms, a tenderness that reaches deep into your soul. "You'll feel good."
A stream of questions floods your mind, but Leon interrupts before you can voice them. "Not now," he interjects, pressing the syllables with more stress and emphasis. "Will you let me take care of you?"
His distress resonates with your own need for relief. "Yes," you respond without hesitation. "Yes, okay. This pain is killing me, just do it."
With a swift movement, his scorpion-like tail hovers near your exposed nape, its barbed stinger poised and ready.
"I promise, it'll be over soon," Leon whispers, dead set on his goal. "Just hold on."
The venomous tip of his tail makes contact with your skin and a sharp pinch sends a jolt of sensation through your body, but the initial pain subsides almost instantly, replaced by a soothing coolness that spreads from the injection site. It's an odd sensation, the venom working its way through your bloodstream, numbing the pain and replacing it with a peculiar mix of relaxation and heightened sensitivity.
A soft exhale is pulled from your lips as the effects continue taking hold, the relief washing over you like a gentle wave, and you melt against Leon, wrapping yourself around him, having automatically sought him out on pure instinct. He carefully adjusts his sitting and goes down on the balls of his feet to allow you to crawl on him, ensuring you're comfortable, his tail retracting to support your back for a more comfortable embrace.
"You're doing great," he murmurs, his voice a soothing melody amidst the chaos. "Just let it take effect, I’m here."
The heaviness in your limbs dissipates, replaced by a newfound lightness, as if a mass has been lifted from your body. The world around you becomes hazy, the edges blurred as the arousal Leon had warned about intertwines with the relief spreading through your veins, 
It begins with a tingling warmth that spreads across your limbs, akin to tiny sparks dancing on your flesh, and then, the heat gradually intensifies, caressing your senses with a gentle yet invigorating burn that awakens every nerve ending. But amidst the rising warmth, the usual wave of the venom’s coolness follows, like a frosty breath gently kissing your skin. The burn and the coolness entwine, creating an annoying race of who gets to be on top. The heat stimulates your awareness, drawing attention to how good it feels to have Leon’s strong body against you, how you would like more, how you want to explore this new form of his as he’s ribboned up like a present before you; but simultaneously, the coolness acts as a tranquil connection to reality, tempering the fiery sensations with its gentle touch.
Leon’s unique smell underneath your nose pours into your circulation from your heaving lungs, you snuggle in to get more of his scent, in the crook of his neck, right behind his ear… You can’t help but rub your head against it like it could somehow pass to your own body — it’s all instinct, the space of your head pleasantly misty, the feeling of only wanting to get closer wiggling enthusiastically inside. You notice your hands are on the move later, running up his sides and his back, only when you feel the ripple of bumps on his spine following your fingers gliding up and down as if responding to your touch. 
“Leon…” He sucks in a sibilant sound when your nails run down his back, momentarily shivering against you. “Leon…”
“Yes, I’m here.” It’s his tail that cuddles you against him because his hands are unavailable. “What do you need, sweet girl, hm?”
How do you say you want to fuck his brains out and do as you wish with him as he’s chained when he can’t retaliate, and how turned on you’re getting by the minute? “I need you.”
You hear the chains rattle and glance up briefly to see his hands balled up in the restraints. “How do you need me?”
His tendency to take things slow and enjoy the augmentation of need as it builds up is a formidable adversary to the you of the present, the frustration is testing the limits of your endurance. There’s something carnal in the way you want him right now, eating away at your patience for playing games with him. 
You rise on your knees still framing the outside of his thighs, and taking advantage of the small difference of height it gives you, yank his hair back to make Leon look up at you, his eyebrows arch upward in an arc, the ascent giving away the shock, and his mouth falls agape, lips parting to release a whispered exclamation “I don’t need this dirty talk, I want your dick in my throat.” You stare him down, catching your reflection in his red eyes and see that the same blight webbing him up is also infesting you, shining in your eyes in the same shade of crimson as his. You simply don’t care. “Is that a satisfying answer?”  
His chin lowers, leering lascivious, and you swear the veins on his face become a more prominent shade of black. “Jesus Christ.” He yanks on the chains, the harsh sound higher in pitch with the power behind it. “Gimme the key.”
“Nooooot gonna.” He leans towards you when you scooch away from his lap, but is unable to chase you fully. You fixate on his crotch, mouth watering, throat anticipating taking in his shape, phantom soreness reminding you what’s coming. You reach out to his thighs and place your palms on his knees, running them up awfully slow, feeling the rigidifying limbs under your touch. 
“Huh? Hey, what do you mean—” He’s stuck between trying to get up and staying that way for you. “What, you’re not untying me?”
“Shut up, I’m in heat right now.” You pop the button of his jeans and bring down the zipper, palming his half-hard bulge above his underwear. “Stop complaining.”
His hips jolt up into your hand, eyes fleetingly rolling behind his head from the satisfying contact, and his cock continues to swell up in your hand, straining against the confines of his briefs. “I’m not complaining — ”
You yank his underwear down, his head popping free and dangling, you bring the underwear underneath his hips along with his jeans with a little help from him rising up and allowing them to slide down better. “You brought this on me, so I’ll feel good the way I want to. Stop. Talking.” 
Chuckling in an underestimating mirth, he’s in the middle of saying, “Yes, ma’am—” mockingly when you lift the edge of his top up to shove the crumpled fabric into his mouth, exposing the carved dips and curves of his chest and stomach. He’s rendered shellshocked for only a second before he lukewarmly glares at you, that’s how you know he doesn’t hate it and only acts like he does. That interested swishing of his tail would be enough to break the chains, but he doesn’t attempt it at all. A silent communication passes between you two, that this is an extension of the role-reversal sex you had the day he left for Spain, and he makes it clear he’s down for whatever you want to do with him. 
Without breaking eye contact, you kiss down his chest and the pads of your fingertips glide along his heated, soft and firm skin, and slow down when you reach the plane of his pronounced abs that tense with each lick and open-mouthed nibble from you, the tautness increasing when the way down from his navel and the path you follow along the veins end up becoming torturously unhurried. 
He has to breathe from his nose, and you pick up where he is on the scale of impatience from his control breaking for it to seep into how sharp or deep they become 
You decide to go on your stomach for now,  letting him remain perched, the coldness filtering into your clothes from the ground not really all that important compared to drinking in all of Leon’s crumpled microexpressions. 
A satisfied noise rises from him as you take him into your hand and give a couple pumps and purposefully stick your tongue out to let your spit dribble considerably on it for better slip and slide, he’s starting to get red in the face. 
And when he thinks it’s about to start with the usual opening of getting him in the mood by the standard jerk-off and the buildup from there, you catch him off-guard by taking him all the way into your throat in one go, concentrating to keep your gagging and choking at a manageable bodily response that won’t make you recoil and start coughing — and surprisingly, it doesn’t hurt, whatever’s in that stinger of his is making everything feel different, you are actually scratching an itch at the back of your throat with Leon and it feels so fucking good to give him head and hearing him respond so eagerly to it. 
The sound he makes despite holding his shirt up with his mouth is choked and powerful as his hips jerk forward and pushes into your mouth, his guttural whine stutters from Leon as you swallow around him. He can’t talk and respond or tell you how you’re doing, but all the pretty noises, from gruff groans, to desperate humming, and restrained moaning tell you all about how he’s feeling. 
You run your nails along the skin underneath his naval and the muscles there jump, the bobbing of your head picking up unexpectedly as you’re literally working to rip his climax off, and he doesn’t feel it sneak up on him, breathing getting more rapid and panicked at how fast you’re wrenching it out of his dick and unconscious shallow thrusts meeting your movements right in the middle — you know exactly when he’s about to come from the slight swell of his dick in down your fluttering esophagus and the tightening of his stomach. 
That’s when you stop and take him out with an audible pop, your lips puffed and red, eyes teary. It twitches before slapping against him and his shirt falls from his teeth in an agonized and disappointed groan as his hips stutter forward in an attempt to search for friction, the fucking saliva trail connecting his lips to the fabric makes your heartbeat swoop downwards. “Why? I was right there!—”
You bat your eyelashes at him, blowing cold air on his denied arousal. “I know, baby.”
“You…” His lips draw back in the middle of a low sound at you gripping his base and giving the head kitten licks, alternating between swirling your tongue around and focusing on sucking the tip only. “Ah, what the fuck.” Your tongue delves into the slit of his head and precum gushes forward, his teeth are exposed in a breathy sharp hiss and a jolt.  “Yeah, that’s it… Shit.” 
The view of his fat chest and his strained, sweat-glistening strong neck swallowing is divine, you pick up the momentum again just to see him get worked up enough to throw his head back for the sight of his striking Adam’s apple, the black veins are doing something else to you that has your insides flipping.
You catch the glimpse of his tail swishing in the air, curling at tandem with your movements. You try taking all of him again to see how it’ll move and the sudden stop and trill has you wanting some friction between your legs. “Fuu—ck, your mouth is a vision, full of me.”
You lick along the bigger vein trailing up under his cock. “Does it feel that good?”
He only nods and thrums a small shudder, but you don’t let him off the leash just yet. “How easy.” Leon’s eyes snap open at the audacity. “Being chained and played with like this…” You give him a particularly harsh pump and the chains jangle because of his sudden tug. “Letting it happen because you want it so much. Desperate to be fucked.”
The degradation alone gets him to pulsate in your hand a couple times, his brow wrinkles as if he’s suffering. “You like this.” You drag a sluggardly strong grip up his weeping cock and his tail whips the ground. “Say it.”
His muscles tense and release, creating a rhythmic movement beneath the surface of his groin upon your teeth getting into the mix. “Shit — I love it.” His arms flex, causing his shackles to rattle. “Everything you do — everything you do to me feels amazing. Keep going, nearly there, I’m about to—”
You hum around him, and he clearly feels the vibrations, rising his hips in an unbelievably hot fluid movement and cursing under his breath, ruby-stained eyes glassy and feverish and mouth thinned and bit from inside. His thighs caging you begin to shake, and you’re made aware he’s close again. 
And this time, it’s him who knows you’ll pull back when he needs it the most. “Oh no, you don’t.” 
Something coils around your torso and pins you in place so his dick can’t slip out of your mouth, you struggle for air and attempt to pull back, but Leon barges in on your alarm, hoarse and gravelly. “Easy, it’s just me, don’t worry.”
Your hands grasp to the fabric of the jeans on the inside of his thighs, finally able to comprehend he used his tail to bind you — surprisingly gentle yet immovable, it doesn’t suffocate you, nor hurt you in any way. 
Mouth still around him, you look up to see he’s watching you, possessing a smoldering zeal, hunger a glint on a knife’s edge, shadow of a sly smile dances upon his lips, a knowing smirk, a sense of assuredness amplifying how he has you, one that reveals all that he’s thinking and claims control from your hands. With every heavy breath he takes, his chest rises and falls, revealing the heightened state of his arousal, and it seems his irises glow a shade darker crimson, a pulsating energy radiating from him, a palpable magnetism that ignites a fire within your own being.
“I’m going to move us around, stay still.” 
He makes sure to remove his erection from your mouth without hurting you before it’s with a natural predator’s grace he rises and stands up, his tail maneuvering you around to sit on your knees right in front of him, and you can only gape as he wraps the excess of chains around his wrists so they don’t get in the way, his forearms and biceps pop like they belong to a god like this. 
“Pretty mouth, waiting just for me.” At this height, he’s able to reach down and run a thumb along your bottom lip and push in, rubbing through the length of your tongue, fascinated.  
The giant appendage, then, unwinds around you, but much to your astonishment, doesn’t slither away, the thinnest end sneaking its way between your thighs instead and your legs clamp around it, but the drag forward defying your refusal has you squeaking. God, the jointed nature of it, like some weirdly shaped anal beads, is acting as periodic zaps moving against your heated sex. It even has the strength to fucking lift you up. Your panties are going to be ruined at this rate. “Leon, what—”
“Wanna make you feel good too.” You’re boosted up when it gives you a particularly harsh press, stars shooting everywhere in your vision with the delicious press not just focusing on one area, but rolling through your clit and dipping to make your entrance contract. “I’ll move it, you focus on taking me.”
Fuck, this is basically the thigh riding from before but on another level, that’s so hot —  
His manacled hands wrap around the angry red of his cock, the size of his hands so titillating fisting the length. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth, is that okay?”
You reflexively swallow, mouth watering instantly. “Please. Please.”
“Such a good girl, begging for my cock down your throat. I can’t refuse when you plead like that.” He rewards you by a rich thrust of his tail forward, your eyes closing in delight, you’re sure that a wet spot is forming with all that moving around. “Open up.” 
You obey and loosen your jaw as much as you can to let him set the pace, hands grabbing on the moving appendage between your legs in preparation to be used like some glory hole, but unlike your aggressive start from before, Leon is much more deliberate and unhurried in bottoming out, your head is swimming in a sea of dizzyingly gratifying smog, white and blanked out as he pleasures you through it. 
You get so lost in it that he sharply hisses and caresses your forehead with shaking hands and has to warn, “No teeth, sweet girl. Relax… Yeah, just like that. You’re doing so well, so perfect, making me feel so good.” 
You don’t mean to mewl around him the way you do, but his praises are so sweet as if he’s always getting his dick sucked for the first time, makes you feel appreciated, makes you feel special. 
Tears are streaming down your face, saliva drooling down your chin, you’re sure you’re gonna have a sore throat after this, and that sight would be ugly and messy to you, something you wouldn’t want to show anyone, needlessly embarassing, but it spurs Leon on, he craves prettying you up as he says, loves that you become a mess just for him — and you had missed all of that being a sign of neediness before all this. He loves the feeling of being special just as you do, loves that he’s able to get you filthy like this. 
“Shit — can’t believe I get to have this forever, now… Never thought… Never—” He breathily laughs, the sound turning into a wanton growl as your throat constricts through his drawn-out, unrushed thrusts. He’s babbling like a man in a confessional, speed beginning to pick up, the movement of his tail also reflecting the frenetic climb, sending your snowballing itch spiraling into completion. “Don’t care what happens anymore — don’t care, don’t care, only need this—sah, fuck!”  
His hands hastily rest on top of your hand to keep you in place and you whine and squeal, his stretch digging impossibly further down, a long groan echoing in the chamber at the same time of something metallic shattering and falling off with incredible strength, Leon’s hips twitching in place with your nose buried deep in the fuzz of hair at the base of his cock. Waves of warm spurts drizzle down your esophagus, and you don’t taste anything, but have a go at swallowing on instinct, and it coerces a strained, debauched moan out of him. 
His tail moves to pull you away from him and you sit back on your heels, shaking more so from your impending orgasm being pulled right under your feet like a rug because of the abrupt halt of the rhythm, unable to stop the coughing, wrapping a hand around your throat for dampening the soreness, and before you know it, his lips have taken the place of your hand, smothering your neck and your face with kisses. 
“You did so good. A fucking angel of sin — for me only.” He doesn’t hesitate to entwine his tongue with yours tenderly as if it’s a honeyed treat to lap up, his gratitude and enthusiasm running high as before. The way he speaks into your mouth gets you pressing your legs together to ease the painful, sweet throbbing between your legs. “You were amazing, sucked the soul out of me, holy shit.”
A whiny, “Leon,” and a tug on his shirt is all he needs to know you need him.  
“I know sweet girl, I have you.” His tail sneaks around your waist again, loose in case of your refusal. In the corner of your eye, you see the winch fastening the chains on the ceiling is squashed on the floor, yet his hands are still bound. “You trust me to make you feel good, right?”
“Yes, always.”
“You can say no if you don’t like this.” The sensation of being moved so easily by something alien is frightening as much as it’s arousing when it’s coming from Leon, your anticipation is about to drip down your legs at his tail gently propelling you up to stand on both feet steadily and turning you around so your back is facing Leon. You are bent down from the waist, and the fear of falling makes you jump, but the appendage is fully supporting you, almost making you float, you could stand on your tiptoes with full body weight and you wouldn’t crash on your forehead. “Is this alright?”
You are about to break down in a series of tremors from how much this is turning you on. “Yeah.”
His hands run along your tailbone. “I’m going to chain your wrists behind your waist. That okay?”
“Fuck. Yes.”
“Tell me if it’s too tight.” He doesn’t need to reach for your hands, you align them to rest on your waist on top of each other. He does adjust them a bit and sets you straight after you crane your neck to take a good look at what he’s doing — you’re only able to get a single frame of him unwinding some of the restraints around his wrists to bind them around yours, affectively connecting both your shackled wrists together in a short line of chain. One of his hands grabs and tugs, securing his tail around your torso a bit better at the same time. “How is that? Any discomfort?”
“It’s fine.”
“You sure?”
“Can you please just fuck me already, I’m about to die.”
He lets you go to slide two fingers up your clothed pussy, your folds quite literally pulsing at the contact. “It’s burning up —- you want to brand me, huh?”
You don’t indulge in his running mouth, just wanting to enjoy the fiery pleasure his fondling fingers light in their wake. 
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He switches to pulling your pants down together with your panties, but not all the way down, making it hang in the middle of the most supple part of your thighs, efficaciously getting them to act as yet another restraint, this time, around your legs so you won’t be able to part them. Two digits easily slide inside and you yelp, held in place mercilessly. “Fuck,” he says, faintly, a subdued composure, the voice going straight to your pussy and making you clench over his fingers. “You eat me up so eagerly. That hungry, sweet girl?”
Your head’s tingling and buzzing from all that rush of blood in this position, everything gets more overwhelming when you bow your head. You just want him inside you. “Please…”
 You pitifully moan at the loss of your fingers, and the brief squeeze of his tail is comforting. “I’ll relieve you.” The replacement of his bulbous tip running through your lower lips is enough stimulation for your toes to curl inside your shoes. 
You’re shaking with the release of your anticipation, and he curses. “Fuck, you’re sucking me in.” The same chain that binds you both rattles when he grabs your bound wrists, your eyes widening at how his tail also simultaneously pulls you towards him to sink into his girthy length, working together with his hips. 
He’s working you. Using you. Manhandling you, drilling you into him like he’s using a fleshlight as he pleases and everything feels so euphoric, your mind descending into a foggy, floaty bliss despite the tears of instant gratification; the whole burden of responsibility, decision-making, and external pressures melt away and only he exists, and the ecstasy Leon’s spoon-feeding you.
He checks in on you, pulling on your binds, voice tight. “Feel good, sweet girl?” 
“I wa—” You hiccup, followed by a trembling whimper, wanting something for your neglected clit, you can’t reach the threshold like this, you keep rising but not enough. “I wanna come, please, let me—”
“Sshh.” His tail is circling you, like a snake twisting around its prey, and you don’t get it at first that he’s getting more of it into the grip for the fat and curling part of his stinger to be able to reach and roll over your unattended, swollen nub. 
Your mind is so sunken into the pleasure you can’t even worry about the barbed part getting near your vulnerable parts, but he’s an expert at making it knead just the way that gets you uninhibitedly screaming. “I got you, I got you.”
Your legs collapse beneath you, his tail carrying your entire weight as your climax fractures within you unexpectedly, not even taking some time to grow and spread and take time aching — it just explodes, making your body convulse in aftershock shudders, unable to contain your palpitating sobs. 
“Ah, Jesus Christ, fuck!—” The clamp of your cunt around Leon also dropkicks him into his own orgasm, shooting straight into your cervix. He rams into you a couple times before he bottoms out to the hilt, his chained hands having yours in a death-grip, staying like that until the twitching of his cock subsides and he starts going soft. 
When you come to next, the chains are completely gone, broken and shattered on the floor, even. Your clothes are straightened and he sits cross-legged on the ground, his back to a wall, and you’re on his lap, tightly hugged by him, still struggling to catch your breath. The view of his muscular arms around your waist is a delight, as always. 
“I feel disgusting,” you say. A sense of discomfort washes over you, amplified by the lingering physical sensations of sweat and fluids. Your face contorts with a mix of satisfaction and unease, the need to cleanse yourself from the stickiness that clings to your skin uncomfortable.
“I think that was amazing.”
You snort. “Not that — I mean, I want to take a bath, everything feels so sticky.”
Leon plants a kiss to the side of your head. “I’ll take you.” 
He probably means somewhere you can clean yourself, but you can’t help but ask. “Take me where?” 
He pulls you in to snuggle better, resting his forehead on your shoulder, tired but playful. “Well, there’s this castle.” 
He still hasn’t told you all that much about what’s going to happen. There is no salvation from the parasite inside you anymore, it has its home in you, but you know you’re not a captive, not when you share the same chains as him. “After our visit, can I—can we return home, then?”
“I…” The sentence dies as it starts. “I don’t think that’s possible. Not for a while.”
“Because you won’t let me?”
“Because I don’t know what Saddler will want with you.”
He knew the consequences. 
Something inside you makes you change your mind — no, he chose the lesser of two evils for you knowing what was coming. 
You can’t bring yourself to blame him, this was meant to happen — you were meant for this gift, meant for this fate, to carry this creature, share it with him. You feel less doubtful and sure of this now, feel the same red of Leon’s eyes, the black of his veins, you shoulder the agony together. 
Your common sense gives a last breath as it fades into non-existence. “We’re fucked, aren’t we?”
He chuckles, shielded and spiteful. “Yeah.”
“But you still wanted me by your side.”
“I was worried.”
“You were lonely.” He succumbs into a muzzled silence, and you try to reach out once again. “At least we’re together, right?” 
“Yeah… Together in this hell.” You don’t get to see what kind of face he’s making. His deep voice is raspy, and despite his contrition, he’s holding onto you tighter than before. Failure is a shame upon him, and he doesn’t let himself be comforted. “I’m sorry for bringing you down with me.”
“I’d burn for you, anyway. I don’t care.”
He’s brusque and uncompromising. “I wouldn’t let you burn.”
“Then I’d burn with you.” You turn in his lap to look him right in the eyes — his red meets your red. “Together in this hell, right?”
Lambs to the slaughter. 
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agroteraa · 1 month
Text
Calling All My Lovelies
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Felix Catton x f!Reader
My fic masterlist
Summary: AU where Saltburn's ending never happened. Felix lived happily up to 2017 (and on), where he happened to meet you. Meaning he is around 29-30 here.
Featuring the song "Calling All My Lovelies" by Bruno Mars
Also mentioning songs like "24K Magic" and "Too Good to Say Goodbye" by Bruno Mars, you can listen to them or even the whole "24K Magic" album for the right mood and atmosphere ❤️
Tags: fluffy angst, AU.
Warnings: mentions of sex, kinda?cheating, relationship misconception.
Word Count: 2,7K
Felix's London apartment was luxurious. Of course, it wasn't Saltburn, but there was a lot to see and be impressed by here too. Especially the view of the Thames, which was strewn on both sides with many lights of the most beautiful sights of the UK capital. Felix and all his guests found the lights especially bright in winter, as on this late February evening.
Especially the girls. Each of those whom he brought here stopped in awe at the huge panoramic windows and looked at the views almost from the height of the flight of a city bird. If before that they had somehow not been one hundred percent fascinated by Felix and his lifestyle, then this luxurious apartment was always the final charming argument.
Y/N was no exception.
When he brought you to his place after a fun evening full of alcohol, it seems that you looked at the views of the city more closely than anyone else and even managed to point out to him some new places from afar, which he did not pay much attention to or did not know what exactly these places were.
Felix smiled warmly - he would love to admire the view of the city with you, preferably standing in an embrace. But then he wasn't interested much of it back then, rather in something else. When he returned from the kitchen with a bottle of expensive alcohol and two glasses, you barely had time to taste the drink, as you merged again in a passionate kiss, which flowed into an even more passionate night. One of the best for both of you, and oh how he would like to repeat it.
But you weren't here right now.
There was no one but Felix himself, this evening was also full of alcohol, but there was little fun in it.
And all because you misunderstood each other. Very much.
When he brought you to his house from the club that day, he didn't think that you would take it all so seriously. Kate didn't take it in. Therefore, from her friend (or whoever you were to her, or maybe you didn't communicate that close? After all, if Felix had to think about it, it was the first time he saw you there with her…) he expected the same understanding.
You had a great time at the club, and then a night at Felix's apartment. Then you started to chat online a lot, went for a brunch and for a walk in the park, where you talked for a long, long time, cheerfully chatting about everything in the world. Well, except for discussing relationships. Then another night together, no less, if not more wonderful than that the previous one. Then another brunch. And after that… You had a lot of work and things to do, while Felix had a lot of free time and his own needs.
When you found out from Kate that he had slept with a couple of girls during that time (not with Kate herself, though they stopped sleeping not so long ago), you were crushed.
And she just shrugged her shoulders and said that you should have known or guessed that Felix lives in a free relationship mode.
You didn't know. Or you didn't want to know. And the main thing was that you thought that something special was going on between the two of you, you saw it in Felix's eyes, felt the distinct warmth of his touch and a certain special thrill overall. The way you talked to each other. It wasn't just sex or an empty mindless flirt, even if the beginning of your relationship was very fast and passionate. It was all felt even after two nights and many days, evenings and nights of mutual texting and calls.
Anyway, you didn't discuss otherwise. That was the whole point. And so, when, after things suddenly got clear, you received another usual message from Felix, you ignored it for a long time, unable to respond, being numb with pain, indignation and shame. You still was processing it and didn't believe to the end (that it would happened or that you were such a fool, you weren't sure yourself, probably both). Then, after a few more of his messages, you somehow pulled yourself together and answered all of them at once, quite briefly and dryly.
After some dialogue in this manner, Felix realized that there was clearly something wrong. He started asking what was the matter, to which you answered him:
You didn't answer. Felix called. So, roughly in ten minutes of a phone conversation, you found out in raised tones that he "doesn't owe you anything nor didn't promise anything" that you "are fine as you are now, why complicate everything" and that "please, let's keep seeing each other, it doesn't mean anything special" was a real argument to him.
"As if you don't know yourself."
"Explain?"
"I don't want to, I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now. If ever at all."
"???"
You shouted into the phone "No, if you don't want to complicate things, then I do, I'm sorry! More precisely, I wanted to. I thought we were serious.… Maybe... it seemed all... special. That's it, look, I... I don't want to talk any longer. And don't call me anymore, okay?"
And so, one day had passed, then two and three. And now the fourth day was already ending, turning into the fifth. You really didn't pick up the phone anymore and didn't respond to his messages, which were getting fewer and fewer every day.
But Felix had more and more thoughts in his head instead. He has almost passed all the stages of acceptance these days:
denial - "no, it's nothing, she's going to be mad a bit and come back to me";
anger - "not coming back? Well, fuck her!";
bargaining - "please, Y/N, answer my messages already...";
depression - "have I really lost touch with her forever?..".
Except for the acceptance itself, of course. And besides the fact that he was returning to all these stages randomly from time to time.
He really did not understand, he was not used to the fact that a girl could take a relationship with him that seriously, especially so immediately. Okay, these infatuations at school and even sometimes at university, when people fell head over heels in love with him, romanticizing him without really knowing him, but now? In the adult world, when everyone should understand the "rules of the game" and that no one seriously owes anyone anything until it is discussed. That was how Felix thought about it. And that was why it was so strange to him that it could hurt you so deeply.
He contemplated about it all the time and, to tell the truth, it even began to flatter him that someone could fall in love with him so much and take him that serious from the start. If he got everything correctly. Yes, at first it surprised him, then it worried him, then it flattered him, and after that... something inside him began to hurt unpleasantly?
He wasn't lying back then. These girl didn't mean a lot to him. But did this mean that Y/N did?..
His heart and mind began to fill with deep, complex feelings that he had not experienced for a long time and, to be honest, had not realized properly and processed in an adult way, being almost-thirty.
And Felix got scared. He was genuinely scared, that was why, first of all, he was pouring alcohol into himself all evening, inhaling lots of smoke as well.
And right now, he decided to brighten up his company not only with wine, champagne and cigarettes, but also with music. He chose Bruno Mars, whose new album he has listened to quite often since its release. Fancy stereo speakers filled his apartment with the loud sounds of "24K Magic".
Felix danced to the rhythm of the songs, sipping wine straight from the bottle. Now he tried to imagine that he was having fun in a club, and not alone in a dark empty apartment, and he almost succeeded in that.
That way Felix Catton decently lifted his mood along with the level of alcohol intoxication.
He skipped the song "Versace on the Floor" because he wasn't in the mood for slow romantic songs. But when "Calling All My Lovelies" started playing a little later, Felix was unable to switch it either.
He leaned back in one of the chairs, frowning and very intently listening through a decently tipsy consciousness to the lines of the song that had begun.
I got too many girls on hold for you to be so bold
Too many on my team for you to act so mean
"Oh, yeah. Exactly so," Felix thought.
You say you wanna go and have fun, well, you ain't the only one
If I ring, don't let it ring too long or I'm gone
"That's bloody right," he said aloud and nodded slightly several times, taking another sip of wine from the neck of the bottle.
I got Alicia waitin', Aisha waitin'
All the -eeshas waitin' on me
And also Stacey, Tracey, Macey, Lacey… Had he mentioned Tracey already? In general, all sorts of -aceys were waiting for him too, and not only them.
So why you contemplatin'? Playa hatin'?
If this is how it's gonna be
I'm callin' all my lovelies (Callin' all my lovelies)
'Cause I can't get a hold of you
At these words, Felix gripped the bottle so tightly that it almost broke under the force of his fingers squeezing it. It was definitely unpleasant for him to hear from Bruno Mars things that Felix was afraid to admit even to himself. He shook his head, closing his eyes. No, that was bullshit.
Since you ain't thinkin' of me (Since you ain't thinkin' of me)
Oh, look what you're makin' me do
Sharp breath. Closed eyes. Exhale.
Honey pie, I'm far too fly to be on standby
Sendin' me straight to voicemail, suga, what the hell? (What the hell?)
That was right! What the hell was all that? You ignored him too! How long had he been texting you and even calling you? Was that fair? Why should he run after you? He shouldn't.
Ooh, you ought to be ashamed, playin' these childish games
I don't get down like that, tell me where you're at, hit me back
Yes. Come and tell him that to his face. Oh, how he wanted you to be right in front of him now. Or didn't want to. No, he actually did. And not only to talk, getting things clear, but also to repeat the night like these… His imagination had already begun to draw pictures of how he would kiss you, undress you... and then… Your sensual moans echoed in his head. He almost felt your skin with his elictrified fingertips. And after that... no, no, stop.
Mmm, I got Alicia waitin', Aisha waitin'
All the -eeshas waitin' on me
"That's it, Bruno, you understand me, buddy! Felix mentally raised a bottle of wine as a toast and drank another sip to "them boys", to "free spirits".
So why you contemplatin'? Playa hatin'?
If this is how it's gonna be
He could have called any of the girls he mentally had listed. And everyone would come to him immediately or at least as soon as possible, doing everything Felix would have wished. Ha. How do you like that, Y/N?
But for some reason he didn't want to text to any of them, much less call them.
The only voice he wanted to hear right now was yours.
I'm callin' all my lovelies (Callin' all my lovelies)
'Cause I can't get a hold of you
Since you ain't thinkin' of me (Since you ain't thinkin' of me)
Oh, look what you're makin' me do
For the second time, he couldn't stand listening to these words. Abruptly and carelessly putting the bottle on the glass table and staggering decently, Felix wandered off to get his phone. It was time to call his not-even-ex-not-girlfriend. Catton-Jr. seemed to be listening to the dial tone more on purpose, just not to listen too closely to the words of the song that went on:
Pick up the phone, pick up the phone
'Cause all this lovin' needs a home, oh, yeah
Oh, no, look at what you started, baby
Now, I'm left here brokenhearted, baby
"Pick up the phone, yes, pick up the phone, come on," he repeated, tapping his foot. The phone dropped the call after a short time, and the guy dialed for the second, then the third time and…
There's a pain in my chest, I cannot explain
I told myself I wasn't gon' cry (Oh, not gonna cry, no, no)
But somebody's gotta come dry these eyes 'cause (Dry these, ah, 'cause)
The dial tone beeps continued. Felix studied London at night under their measured rhythm. His favorite activity was to peer at passing boats and ships of various sizes, models and speed, as well as trying to count their number. He often got distracted, but still loved it.
So, he didn't notice that the beeps from the real phone had flowed into the beeps from the song. In "Calling All My Lovelies" Bruno's imaginary crush was a famous actress. Her voice "responded" in lively yet sensual tone:
Hi, you've reached Halle Berry. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now
But if you leave your name and number, I'll get right back to you *mwah*
Damn... (Bruno Mars' voice hissed back with increasing echoes and annoyance).
At this point, Felix himself clenched his teeth and threw the phone on the floor out of anger. Fortunately, the carpet was soft enough to survive the fury of its owner and continue to function in case you suddenly wanted to respond.
I'm callin', callin', callin', callin' all my lovelies
'Cause I can't get a hold of you
Oh, since you ain't thinkin' of me (Since you ain't thinkin' of me, baby)
Look what you're makin' me do
Felix almost whimpered at the realization of what a fool he had been and what a stupid situation he was in right now. Where he led himself. Why couldn't you two just talk? Why couldn't he just tell it all at once, from the start? Maybe it would have been different otherwise now. Resting his forehead against the big window, he felt its pleasant coolness, but it could not cool down his burning resentment inside. Most of all, he did not like it when the blame for the current situation could not be shifted to anyone or anything else, and this pained him incredibly right now.
Pick up the phone, pick up the phone
'Cause all this lovin' needs a home, oh
He collapsed into a chair near the window, clutching its handles tightly and stretching his long legs. If only he would…
Felix inhaled and exhaled noisily, throwing his head back and taking a pack of cigarettes along with a lighter out of his shirt pocket. The fingers did not obey a little, as the hands of their owner were shaking slightly from nerves and alcohol intoxication. He growled slightly in irritation. When the guy was finally able to light a cigarette, he took a long drag on it.
Now he wasn't in the mood for energetic and carefree songs. He skipped "Finesse".
That was how the last song from the album started playing - "Too Good to Say Goodbye":
I've made mistakes
I could have treated you better
I let you get away
There goes my happily ever after
Tell me why, why can't we try and start again?
This can't be how our story ends…
Oh, please…
He really did miss you.
And he was not right.
He wanted to win you and your trust over again. He finally admitted it with all his heart to himself. He would try. Really.
If only you could…
The phone, thrown on the fluffy carpet, suddenly came to life and started vibrating.
Releasing all the smoke from his lungs, which Felix had inhaled, at once, he abruptly bent down to the carpet.
Your name appeared on the phone screen, gleaming brightly in the darkness.
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