#breaking cycles and being doomed to repeat them

[buylookwhatyoumademedo]

absolutely loved the credit scene of the attack on titan finale. such a profound perspective shift to show yes, you can spend your entire life in pursuit of a singular goal, you can destroy yourself and others for it, shed blood and tears for it, kill and die for it, and time marches forward. Your story, which was everything at the time, is sanded down by the winds of time. and history moves on. you become a blip on the timeline. and what was all that bloodshed for?

#attack on titan #aot #attack on titan spoilers #spoilers #haven’t seen anyone talking about the credits scene yet #but the cycle CONTINUES #attack on titan is about cycles #life death rebirth #peace war #generational trauma #sin and forgiveness #abuse #breaking cycles and being doomed to repeat them

[demilypyro]

So after playing the game and turning it around in my head for several hours as I went back over all the info I gathered... here's what I personally think happened in Signalis.

This take isn't entirely comprehensive. There's a lot of elements I don't feel I'm smart enough to fully understand, and I acknowledge that the story being open to interpretation is the point. But this is what I took from the game.

During the war on Vineta, two soldiers of the Nation fight together against the Empire. Alina Seo and Lilith Itou. Spending many years together, the two fall in love.

Lilith dies in battle, and the Nation uses a backup of her personality to create the LSTR units. A heartbroken Alina is transferred to the Sierpinski mining facility on Leng.

On Rotfront, a young painter with latent bioresonant abilities named Ariane Yeong wishes to get away from it all. After completing her compulsory military service, she applies to the Penrose Program and spends many years in space, alongside her assigned Replikant unit: LSTR-512. Elster. Spending many years together, the two fall in love.

However, the Penrose Program was a setup. The ship was never intended to complete its mission. The Nation had become aware of Ariane's latent abilities and had assigned her on a doomed mission, shooting her off into space to die on a ship that would eventually break down. On the 3000th cycle of their mission, the pair learned that they had been abandoned. Unwilling or unable to do it herself, Ariane made Elster promise to end their lives rather than suffering. However, Elster couldn't bring herself to do it. As time passed, radiation began to leak from the ship's engines, and Ariane and Elster both developed cancer. Elster died from the illness before she could bring herself to fulfill her promise.

Strangely, Ariane did not die. Possibly by some mutation from the radiation interacting with her bioresonant abilities, she was unable to die. She would survive at least another 2000 cycles after the Penrose was set to run out of supplies, all the while in constant suffering. The ship eventually crashed on Leng. Ariane's uncontrolled, mutated bioresonant abilities came into contact with the various Kolibries inside the Sierpinski facility, and her suffering was shared and amplified exponentially as it spread and repeated itself along the bioresonant hivemind. A psychic feedback loop spread like a disease. All gestalts died. All the replikants who weren't mutated or destabilized were left fighting for their lives, but none could stay unaffected forever.

Meanwhile, an accident had occurred in which all backups of the original mental template of Lilith Itou were lost. As a substitute, the Nation started creating new LSTR units using the latest backup of a decommissioned LSTR unit belonging to the Penrose Program: a copy of the mind of Elster, decommissioned after 3000 cycles. However, having never read the instructions, Ariane had taken zero precautions to avoid destabilization. All new LSTRs put into service after that time were affected. They were prone to hallucinations, had trouble distinguishing the present from the corrupted memories of their lives as Lilith Itou, and were consumed by one thought: fulfilling her promise.

As time passed, dozens of LSTR units came to the Sierpinski facility. Their destabilized minds were unable to distinguish Ariane from Alina, the two loves of their two lives. Every time one of them entered the facility, their destabilization further worsened the cascade of bioresonant mutation affecting the people within, and Falke in particular found herself affected by Elster's memories. Adler tries his best to stop this, by killing any Elsters who appeared, but it was just delaying the inevitable. Ariane's memories and Elster's hallucinations combine with Falke's supernatural abilities, causing the facility to become warped by images and places from Ariane's past, even turning an entire area into a replica of Rotfront and conjuring apparitions of Isa, a long-dead childhood friend of Ariane's. How much was Elster's hallucinations and how much was Falke's reality bending abilities is unclear.

Finally, one of the Elster units successfully makes it through the impossibly warped facility, kills Falke, and fulfills her promise. By ending Ariane's life, the feedback loop of suffering is stopped, and the cycle finally ends.

#signalis #signalis spoilers

[scrufflesksunnide]

Something I've been working on for awhile and finally I can tell you what this au is ABOUT.

Welcome to...

SURVIVOR AND MONK: ECHOS OF TIME!

an AU that tries to follow the canon of rain world in it's own unique way, creating new landscapes, added backgrounds that weren't there in rain world, new characters, and overall headcanons galore!

The AU is heavily inspired by things like Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time and Omori! Character refs and information below!

The premise of the au is about Survivor and Monk being contacted by a familiar white iterator from the void, who sends them on a mission to fix this world before things get messy with the landscapes they stand on shifting from times ahead and before, the memories they gained being wiped from them completely, and everything being set back to the very beginning. Their goal is to close time rifts causing this calamity, with the help of the Echos trapped inside these rifts, not only will they gain power to help the world but also gain memory the player never got to see... Will they be doomed to repeat this loop again due to their own problems? Or will they stop it all in time, before they have to repeat it all over again? They are all stuck here for their flaws, much like the echoes before them... maybe it is possible to break the cycle for once...? Meet the Main Cast!:

"Seth" aka The Survivor

Age: 20 Likes: Collecting pearls, Manny, Happy thoughts, Nature, History Dislikes: Having to give up pearls, Lizards, Bad thoughts, Thunder Storms (how ironic), and forgetting about the good times...

"Trying to find peace and happiness in a world that hurt them, their curiosity leads them into a new adventure. However, they aren't alone this time. With their sibling by their side, nothing will take this duo down!"

"Still full of curiosity, they are a sucker for nature much like their sibling. They are deeply curious about nature and wants to explore the world for what it has to offer. Their thoughts cannot be trusted however, despite it being full of curiosity, it is also full of doubt and bad faith after bring them down and keeping them rather depressed. They are numbed by the cruelty of this world, often not showing their emotions due to feeling static. It makes it hard to understand what's going on with them when they don't show a lot that's going on inside. However, they try their best to see a brighter future. They are quiet for the most part, but isn't scared to take action when necessary." Relationship Chart:

"Manny" aka The Monk

Age: 18 Likes: Gardening, Seth, Lizards, Batflies, Donating! Dislikes: Fire, Violence, Blood, seeing Seth sad, being alone. "Full of sunshine and and optimism. No matter of their naive nature, they set out to save this world with their kindness and their sibling by their side. Flourishing their way through this world with kindness has it's ups and downs however, we'll just have to see how they take it." "Peppy and happy, they try their best to make others joyful as well... to the best of their abilities anyway. They can be naive and foolish, they aren't super smart but they try their hardest... though sometimes they push themselves a little too hard. Due to the incident with Seth, they HATE being separated from him and suffers from separation anxiety. Their separation anxiety makes it hard for the duo to split up when it is needed, creating a struggle for the poor fella." Relationship Chart:

"Harvey"/"Harv" aka The Hunter

Age: 19 Likes: Doing risky shit, Red Lizard meat (sorry Manny), combat, their friends... helping out others in need... oh and uh, jokes Dislikes: staying in one place, being fluffy in the morning (yes they do fluff up fun fact!), being on a time limit, scav tolls, failing the mission. "After living through the scary odds, much to the world's pity, they live weaker than what they once were... but luckily they gained a strange but much needed friend." "Energetic and risk-taking, they make great effort to be danger to the enemies who dare try and disturb the peace. They led their ego and pride get the best of them at times and get carried away with playing the role of "hero" as that's the only thing they feel they have left to their name... "hero". They will willingly take a spear if it meant people made it out alive, they will rush head first into danger to shield those they care for... but in turn get extremely hurt in the progress. They can be impatient and does not want to be stuck in one place for more than 10 minutes, they have a soul that NEEDS heroic action and NOW!" Relationship Chart:

enot (dats me!!) the inventor (hehe see what we did there?) here's my [icture!

im 20 even though some people don't believe that fo[r sum reason (also I am very tired so my typig mayyyyyy be a bit wacky but ill fix it latr... probs) anyway uhhh I liek making cool gadgets, being the prettiest thing you'll ever see, my friendsss, eg, and kissing my babe (sethy!!) (and they is MINE, I will KILL YOU IF YOU DARE TOUCH THEM... just kidding!! there's enough of them (and me!) to go around!) and I like long walks on the shore! what I DONT like. I HAAAAAATE when people do not cooparate with each other and don't stick to the plan! like I swear everytime I'm playing skywars I get so pissed because I get teamed up with kids who dont even know how the game works OR they are SO egostical that they try doing stupid stuff and dont LISTEN to the guy who has actually PLAYED the game and KNOWS what their DOING!!! only reason why I lose so damn much is because of these bad teams holding me back, thats why I do solos most of the time and I do SO GREAT with those and- whats that? OH CRAP SORRY UH UH, I also don't like spiders and dark places, I've had a big fear of it back then and I've gotten over it... I think. anyway! im just gonna copy and paste this and be on my way, see ya later! "I'm stubborn sure but I have a great plan!... at least plans that are silly to others but DO work. I guess my biggest downside is I take too much pride in myself and i'm a bit too loud haha but im working on it!! Im very caring and loving and im cringe but im free!! I maybe a bit unstable... physically I mean PHYSICALLY IM FINE MENTELLY... I think. I do have a feeeeew memory issues (but im pretty sure everyone else does since, yknow, the current situation, hopefully I gain my memories back soon with those echoes!) anyyyway, hope you have fun reading everyone else's bios, see ya soon readers!! -love enot" Relationship Chart:

"Grant" aka The Gourmand

Age: 25 Likes: Mold Slime (Loves it so much that 80% of their body is made OF it!... wait that's probably really unhealthy- uhhh-), taking care of slugpups, crafting handy tools, hugging, and art Dislikes: People hurting their tribe, not eating for a period of time, seeing others sad, letting their craving/urges win. "One of the slugcat tribe's greatest warriors and excellent crafter, only thing holding them back from their truest peak is their huge appetite." "Carefree and always willing to protect those they love most. They be a bit slow but they are a lovable guy all around! They often get hungry due to them consuming a lot of mold slime, needing more food to feed their belly and having a shift in mind if they don't get food right away, they often eat other people's food without realizing it. This becomes a problem when people need to save food, it's a huge struggle for them to control these new found urges and often gets disappointed in themselves for letting those urges win. Despite this, they make up for it by trying to be a good role model and inspiration for people. They aren't the actual leader of the slugcats, however, they do take role as leader when the current leader is dead (unlikely but can happen) or they need to split up for expeditions. Relationship Chart:

"Asher"/"Ashley" The Artificer

Age: 20 Likes: Taking care of slugpups and baby scavs, when people do their job, quiet, listening to music, combat, scav boxing matches that take place every Wednesday night (they like watching them instead of being in them cuz they don't trust themselves with fighting people as they get, rough, really rough.) Dislikes: Loud noises, Seeing slugpups get hurt, leeches, water fuck water FUCK WATER FUCK WATER-, having breathing problems, smoke, being reminded of their mistakes, having to get violent. "A strict but fair ruler to the scavengers, swore to make sure scavs don't dare try and step out of line with slugcats ever again. Despite their rage and violent past, they have calmed down and learned that taking on this role (the role the old ruler barely did right) would be a good change in the slugcat race." "Ash often gets a bit annoyed when people step out of line, but luckily they don't expect people to be perfect, they will NOT give slack to people that step out of line on purpose. They are more mature and parent like when it comes to ruling over the scavs, at first they saw them as freaks, but they grew on them after awhile and treated every single scav as if they were their own, even if they don't show it, they appreciate their hard work. They can be demanding but they would never ask anyone to do something dangerous unless they knew they could handle it. They can be pessimistic, most of the time feeling down due to thoughts, that doesn't make them less of a fighter however. They are a combat warrior when it comes to fighting, just because they got rid of their violent ways to the scavs... doesn't mean they got rid of it for the other creatures like vultures, lizards, and centipedes. Relationship Chart:

"Ruffles"/"WD (Water Dancer)" aka The Rivulet

Age: 18 Likes: Collecting pearls with Seth, Swimming, relaxing and chilling with LTTM, other fishes, pretty lights. Dislikes: Huge waves, being Pressured, being on a deadline, being made fun of, getting startled by people, rain, and the rot. "Being on the run for awhile, they were sent out by chasing wind to deliver a data pearl to any surviving iterators out there. Their anxiety is the key to their speed as they rush towards their destination out of fear alone." "Ruffles gets startled pretty easily, though their reaction is oddly... delayed. They often have trouble controlling their vocal volume when they are not relaxed, often getting shaky and anxious when put on the spot or is the center of attention... but when they are relaxed and calm, they really open up to be a fun loving slugcat! They feel they need to get things done quickly due to the events that happened with trying to GET to shoreline, that and they think people might get disappointed in them if they don't do it quick enough. This results in them getting more anxious and things could easily fall apart if people don't catch up. They can be clumsy but makes up for it by having fast reflexes, they almost drop your birthday cake? Fear not as they will do their DAMNEST to have that birthday cake be perfectly fine! They see LTTM as their best friend, often feeling relaxed and comfortable around her, LTTM is the only time where Ruffles feels safe... other than their friends of course." Relationship Chart:

"Sii07" aka The Spearmaster

Age: 19 Likes: Challenging themselves, having a goal and completing it, drawing/painting, SRS... and warm places. Dislikes: Failing a goal, not having a purpose, being bored, people getting in their way, and vultures. "A message slug created by Seven Red Suns that fulfilled their purpose... but found themselves in an unsatisfying life after their loss. They find new albeit, risky and hurtful adventures to challenge themselves so they can feel they have purpose... or at least try to think they do."

"Sii has a knack for putting themselves in dangerous expeditions, resulting in them getting hurt often... but they feel completely numb to it all. They set too ambitious goals with only satisfaction as their reward. It takes a lot to get them to stop trying to do dangerous expeditions but when they do stop even if for a bit, they can be a chill and almost inspiring! They are a pretty good critic too when it comes to art and combat, even though they can be harsh whenever it's negative, they want people to improve upon their skills... It seems pointless to them to try and teach people things... for now at least. They are highly determined, always preserving no matter what, this can be a good... and bad thing. They can get bored pretty easily so they like to doodle or draw full on pieces of art for however long they feel like it, it's much rarer nowadays... but when you get to see it, it's beautiful." Relationship Chart:

"Sage" aka The Saint

Age: 21 Likes: Uhh... Guiding people to the right path...? They didn't really... fill this out. Dislikes: They don't like meat... that's pretty much all I could gather. "Created by-" what?... would you rather that be private? You sure there are people already kno- Okay, okay. We can skip that part. "They set up to help people in need, and be of a sort of guide for Seth and Manny on their quest to fix this big problem... again." "A pacifistic being whom aims to help others in need of guidance. Although their perfectionist nature holds them back from being happy with their results often times. They do their best to support Seth and Manny in their adventure, testing their new found powers and helping them be better people. They have a tendency to not let people in their personal life... but sometimes, just sometimes, people can gain their trust. They are highly mysterious and it's hard to tell if they mean well or not... but they haven't hurt anyone so far and they seem to want to help people with their calm and on form approach." Relationship Chart:

More info coming soon!! This post will be updated now and then so do check back here every now and then! Comics will be in the making soon as well so keep look out for that!

#rain world #rain world downpour #echos of time au #rain world fanart #rw survivor #rw enot #rw monk #rw gourmand #rw saint #rw spearmaster #rw rivulet #rw artificer #rw hunter #rw au #MORE TO COME SOON!!

[exactlycleverpirate]

Half Baked Theories

So here are my half-baked theories upon reading all of the Love and Deepspace myths, anecdotes, etc.

So, Rafayel found MC isolated on an island for some reason or other, surrounded by the ocean and doomed to one day be drowned by the sea. They fell in love, and he gave her his heart, quite literally (somehow), though he remains connected to it through their bond. Because Lemurian's blood is eternal, and she is now bound to one, and the God of the Sea at that, she is now eternal. Sort of. But not undying. Neither are the Lemurians undying, as we see they can be killed. (I suspect this all takes place on Earth before it's destruction, since Philos is described as separate tectonic plates held together by its core, making me think the oceans have disappeared (drained into space perhaps?)).

By the time we meet MC in the current timeline, she is already bound to Rafayel in some fashion or other. Does that mean she already has his heart? She also has an Aethor protocore implanted into her heart via scientific experimentation. Perhaps Rafayel gives her his heart later in some effort to save her from something due to the Aethor core? Maybe this results in a resonance link of some sort, between the eternal Lemurian heart of the God of the Sea and the Aethor protocore. In Xavier’s Myth, we learn that protocores used to have hearts inside them. (MC's Evol also pertains to Resonance.)

(Also, what is frozen in ice on Mount Eternal? Possibly another Aethor Core?)

So now flash forward to Philos. In Zayne's Myth, we learn that MC's heart is connected to the Creatio protocore. Due to the resonance of the Creatio and her heart, it drains her heart to power itself. It also can heal her heart when fused with it (at least temporarily?). When she meets Xavier on a young Philos, she already knows her heart is dying and that there is a particular protocore that can somehow heal her. (How does she know of this rare protocore? Who told her?)

Perhaps the Creatio protocore used to be the Aethor core fused to the God of the Sea’s heart. Then somehow, with Earth’s destruction, the heart and the Creatio are separated, but still linked by resonance. This begins the endless cycle of draining the Sea God's heart to power the Creatio, which kills MC, but because the heart is that of an eternal Lemurian, she reincarnates, to repeat the process again and again. (Is the Creatio the core of the planet that keeps Philos' people immortal, or is her heart linked to the core, perhaps by fusing it with the Creatio, at a later point when the original power of the core is drained away?)

In this first life on Philos, Xavier brings her the Creatio, but it is too late to save her (or he doesn't know how to use it) and she dies.

Perhaps as a result of the Creatio being forcefully taken once, (who did Xavier have to fight to retrieve it from?) the Creatio is placed under the watch of the Foreseer in the Tower of Thorns, by the mysterious "god" Astra. MC is reincarted over and over, drawn to the Creatio and Foreseer over and over, she dies over and over, and his memories are erased each time, until finally Zayne breaks free and sacrifices himself to save MC, fusing her heart and the Creatio and saving her life. Zayne falls into eternal slumber, trapped in the frozen tower, behind a never ending blizzard.

Presumably, this is a temporary fix somehow or other, and she dies again eventually, or is killed.

Meanwhile, multiple Gods of the the Sea have lived over time. (Are these all reincarnations of Rafayel or are there other Sea Gods as well?) Eventually, MC is reincarnated in the Golden Sands. By this point, somehow the people of Philos have come to understand that her heart keeps them immortal. Philos is at least 30,000 years old by this point, as its seas have been dry for 30,000 years. The people of Philos have placed MC under guard in a palace. Her heart is not noticeably dying now, perhaps because Zayne reunited it with the Creatio.

She and Rafayel reunite, and she eventually remembers their history. She also learns that if she does not return the Sea God's heart to Rafayel (by cutting it out of her chest and dying), he will eventually fall into eternal slumber and the seas will never be restored. Rafayel attempts to save her by erasing her memories and severing the bond between them, leaving the heart with her. However, MC is able to recover both her memories and the bond. She and Rafayel escape together in search of a solution.

(At this point, we don't know how this ends. Does Rafayel fall into eternal slumber? Does MC kill herself in an effort to save him, or does his servant kill her to try to save Rafayel and restore the sea? Perhaps Rafayel, like Xavier, finds a way to go back in time? No idea.)

Once more, we assume MC dies again at some point. She is eventually reincarnated at a time when Philos is beginning to die. She and Xavier attend an Academy together. Xavier learns that Starfall Forest contains (or is connected to?) the core of the planet, which now requires human lives to stay powered. It consumes humans, which become Wanderers who contain a protocore that used to contain their heart. The royal family started out sending human sacrifices into the forest, but eventually figured out MC could be the endless sacrifice to power the core.

(When did they discover this? Presumably the royal family has been alive since the creation of Philos, since Xavier has been around since its very early years, and he is the Crown Prince. The royal family sent regular emissaries to the Foreseer for prophecies from Astra. The royal family also is mentioned in Rafayel's myth, when MC clarifies that she is not actually related to the royal family. So how long have they known about MC and when did they begin intentionally sacrificing her to power the heart? Is this how she dies even though both Zayne and Rafayel sacrifice themselves to save her? There are no Wanderers in Zayne or Rafayel's myths. Did they not exist yet? They exist on Earth, but perhaps that is due to them traveling through spacetime with Xavier’s timejump.)

The MC at the end of Xavier’s Myth has no current obvious problem with her heart, though Xavier seems fearful of one. But if she is no longer dying to power the core, then surly that means the core will begin to die, and the planet and people of Philos with it. Xavier and a team leave MC as Queen of Philos, and they travel back in time in an effort to find a way to stop the planet and MC from dying. However, something goes wrong, and they crash. The Deepspace Tunnel opens up over Linkon, and through it, the dead planet of Philos can be seen.

Please give me your thoughts, peeps. I am desperate the talk lore with someone.

#love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #rafayel #xavier #zayne

[etoilesbienne]

i think one of the biggest things ive never been able to get out of my mind with qsmp is during the initial arg, one of the puzzles got to referencing books for its answer. not any books. two specific, incredibly famous in their respective languages literary canons, books - 100 Years of Solitude (Cien años de soledad) and Catch-22.

both of these books are standard books you'd pick out as "casually referenced ultra-famous readings most people would recognize the name of" but within the books themselves... the overarching theme is cycles. cycles you cannot break and are doomed to repeat until there is nothing left but rubble and a collapsed city or country. cycles of unending war. cycles that continue no matter what you do...

but what sticks out to me is why. like why, out of dozens and dozens and dozens of books in each language WHY these two thematically extremely similar books. i know qsmp's story has changed and evolved from its initial plan, but i can't help but think back to it. why those two books. why them? and now that bagi's story is happening - her memories lost from the island - and then baghera being an experiment taken back in to the island. I can't help but think back to these books. They feel so relevant still but from an era of the server nobody is thinking a ton on anymore. I think theyre still a piece at play we should not forget about.

#posts from the aether #qsmp analysis #i think about this still bc i was also. the reason this puzzle got solved but like #the books are so weirdly relevant. it makes me nuts.

[moddieeee]

"Girl only know one pose" indeed, and I have a lot of very normal thoughts about it.

A bit ago I was actually discussing with some friends (who previously knew little to nothing of the band's history) about how the framing of the two most explicit and incredibly commercially successful love songs in their MVs, feel particularly icky to me.

Especially since BNE Hayley was finally "of age" for the entirety of the album cycle. It's now socially acceptable for her to be an object of sexual desire (and I hate it!!), she feels submissive, with big bedroom eyes (one literally on a bed), singing to YOU. She is the product for the audience to want and desir.

A girl in love is to be helpless. Apparently. And to suddenly be so hyper feminised in way we haven't seen her display before, conveniently timed...

QUICK EDIT: It's not a crime to love these MVs, theres a lot to love about them. My problem and criticisms lie with the marketability and expectation of the public perception/societal views

Two other videos I had totally forgotten about until I was looking for relevant pics and gifs for my original tweet thread that will become very relevant later:

Brick by Boring Brick - suddenly infantilised, framed with a childlike sense of helplessness (Funny that. On the album where she is trying to be marketed as an adult to be desired) that her dreams are a fantasy.

Now - Already having fallen, seeming as if she has already lost this battle, one of many (hi Self-Titled)

The other example obvious to many was indeed Hard Times, but I'd also like to bring up Told You So a bit earlier than in my initial thread. Even tho not an exact parallel of her signature pose, it signifies a similar set of feelings- also a convient MV for some other parallels later on...

Hard Times - Our girl loves a good falling metaphor. It's slow, it's agonising, as if going on forever, seeming as if she's doomed to repeat the fall to rock bottom again, and again

Told You So - Alone in an empty home (We'll be bringing THIS back later) wrapped in a blanket to gain any sense of warmth. Once again feeling helpless, and trapped. But this time the boys are comin'!!

Part of me also wants to say this is one of the first instances T+Z (or any ex-band member for that matter) have been shown to play an active roll in the greater Paramore narrative. Other than Now... which I immediately forgot even tho I literally just talked about it. I could maybe argue however that the boys are reactive to those events at play. Caught up in the war, H being the only target.

I'm sure I could easily talk about PFA MVs in addition but this shit is too long already, everything I've already spoken about here makes the points I wanna make.

Anyway I'm taking a quick break before I dig into TIW era

#paramore #hayley williams #Zac farro #Taylor York #thick skull #This is why #hard times #told you so #Now #Still into you #the only exception #brick by boring brick #text #me being deranged

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written in 2020 (2) Masterlist

part one

a different side of me (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan's early 2010 struggle with his home life, his future, and how Phil fits into everything.

A whale of a time - (ao3) - lazyphannie

Summary: Dan's horny and Phil's still sleeping.

Advent Calendar 2020 (ao3) - Phantje

Summary: Dan is a single father to his son Mes. When Mes does not go to Dan's best friend Meggie's nursery, he tags along to Dan's photography studio. With Mes, the studio, and his film-review-blog, Dan is certainly busy, and yet finds time to be a little lonely - he is skilled like that. Dan's life seems to suddenly start spinning when he rescues a client from a malicious photo booth.

Phil is the co-founder of the IRL store, but wants to start working to meet new people and to fill his days. That has nothing to do whatsoever with him pining after the mysterious blogger, and he isn't even really all that lonely, actually.

Phil starts working at a nursery, makes a new friend, and gets more than he bargained for in falling in love with the photographer.

All Signs Point to Us (ao3) - RyRyCaptain

Summary: When the queen and king gives birth to Daniel, they soon learn that their son is deaf. In order to let Dan express his opinions to those who haven't learned sign language, they find him a translator who happens to be the son of the King’s advisor, Phil. Soon enough, Phil starts to realize thAt he fallen in love with the younger boy.

All We Seem to Do Is Talk About Sex (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: In which Dan’s got a boyfriend and a tongue piercing, and Phil’s got a weed hookup and an anxiety disorder. In high school, they were labeled “bad influences on each other,” maybe that would never go away.

Arrangements (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: One night stands have worn out their welcome, but Dan isn't ready for a relationship. Thankfully, other arrangements can be made.

attachment (ao3) - dnovep

Summary: Harlow’s monkey experiments, love, & Phil wrapping Dan in blankets.

baby can't you see? (i'm calling) (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Two years after Dan's ill-advised stint up a mountain, and Phil's escape from a Royal psychopath, their dramatic flying off into the horizon hasn't had such a steady landing. Phil is consumed by his new venture in giving back to the world, but Dan is receiving none of this graciousness. Their living situation remains unstable, and they're barely in the same room long enough to hold hands.

It's all about to break apart, when the pandemic hits them where it hurts. Once again, Dan and Phil find themselves thrown into isolation with one another, back up where it all began. The memories of The Secret of the Alps are both fond and traumatic; being there again, trapped and in a bitter feud, is worryingly familiar. Can they make it out together a second time around? Or is this cycle doomed to repeat itself forever, until one of them calls it quits?

(TW) Break Me (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: In this world, you're marked with black. That's if you have a soulmate at least. Everyone is destined to cross paths with the one who is meant for them, at least once in their lives.

When you and your soulmate meet, you will touch, if only briefly, and the exact area of skin you touch with the other turns from black to white, with streaks of blue, purple, yellow, all marbled in with each other.

Daniel Howell is well-known in town. People cross the street if they're approaching him and newcomers to the neighbourhood are warned about his presence. Exactly like the Lester's were. But Phil Lester has other ideas, he saw the pain within the boy, how bad can he really be?

chaos in bloom (ao3) - vvelna

Summary: The adventures of Dan and Phyl, ghost removal experts.

closer than before (ao3) - graydar

Summary: Maybe he’ll just take this one chance. It might be fun, might be something to do, might be more than that. He’s fine with not knowing. All anyone is doing right now is not knowing. It’s the new trend.

Cold, Empty Mattresses and Falling Stars (ao3) - conshellation

Summary: 2009 au where phil and his family own a campground/cabins in an area that is known for stargazing and phil has lived his entire life there, therefore knowing a lot about stars. dan and his family come from the city to said campground because dan is a nerd and asked to come there for his birthday.

Covet (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: The only thing making Dan feel alive is his all-consuming crush on the new deacon.

Crossing the line (ao3) - dakogutin

Summary: After billionaire Phil Lester meets an unfortunate incident that ends him up in hospital with no memories, Dan Howell— a mistreated employee convinces Phil that he is Dan's working-class husband to get back at him with the many hardships he faced as an employee. What could go wrong?

Dead! (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is a zombie living in the abandoned Luton airport, Dan is a human survivor. Bound together by the fear of what hides in the dark, they choose not to kill each other, and begin the long journey to Manchester and (hopefully) to new colonies

doppelt. (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: The big wheel in Manchester. The big wheel in another Manchester. Phil's disappearance. Finding Phil - twice. Dealing with Doppelgängers. That's not exactly what Dan expected from their first meeting. But in the end, being with Phil is all that matters.

for the first time in such a long time (I know I'll be okay) (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Three conversations in Phil’s bedroom in 2009.

grind to the rhythm (as we wine and dine) (ao3) - kishere

Summary: God, everyone was going to think him a harlot, Phil thought as they walked out of the maze in silence. Being left alone with an alpha he wasn’t mated to was cause for gossip.

Hot As Hell (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Dan and Phil take advantage of a few minutes of unexpected privacy while in a dry sauna. Phil can't resist his boyfriend on account of his well-established sweat kink.

I Will Be Loving You (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan and Phil spend their first Valentine's Day out of the closet.

it's a church of burnt romances (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Dan backs into the car and the driver asks where he’s heading. His head swims with thoughts of Phil, and of guilt and embarrassment at how he’s subconsciously treating his friend. Whose life centres around virtues like chastity. And non-objectification goes both ways. Dan takes a few deep breaths, pressing a palm to his insistent bulge to quell his arousal. As always, it doesn’t work.

Well, he resolves, if he can’t get Phil out of his head, he’s got to get someone else into it. Or onto him, preferably.

Or, a Fleabag AU.

Lonely in Conflict, Cast as a Convict (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Dan is a vampire who can’t remember how it feels not to be lonely. Phil is a vampire hunter living in his brother’s shadow.

When they meet, they find acceptance in each other that they don’t find anywhere else, but there are secrets and other forces at play trying to keep them apart.

married at first sight (ao3) - nothingbutniall

Summary: Dan and Phil get matched together on the new season of Married At First Sight.

Midnight Garden (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: In which Phil is a gardener at the palace and Dan is a reclusive prince.

Mirror Mirror (ao3) - dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenJunoTheGreat)

Summary: Dan and Phil get invited to stay at a historical castle with Martyn and Cornelia. Contrariwise, Daniel and Philip aren’t invited anywhere, but not many people can say no to a highly trained thief and a dragon. But that’s totally unrelated

My Spirit Love (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: If you fall in love with a spirit who drains you both away, do you live together for twenty years, or stay alone each day?

Phil has lived in his house since he was born, but it was when he turned seven he met Dan for the first time. It's all childish games and the muse of a naïve brain until your fifteen-year-old son claims to have fallen in love with the boy you've never seen.

Is anything possible for love?

oh you got me shaking (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: Usually if the models talk to him, it’s just – them asking questions, Phil joking about how he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, even as he directs them.

They don’t try to argue with him, usually.

One Thousand Midnights or More (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: A decade of love told in moments.

Our House (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Enemy is a harsh word. Rival sounds so immature, like Dan’s the star of some teen drama on Netflix. Competition is close, but not quite there.

In simple terms, Dan has a distaste for Phil Lester. Otherwise known as AmazingPhil in their line of business, for some reason that’s beyond Dan. What makes him so amazing anyway?

There’s a reason the network wanted Daniel Howell and Phil Lester for this specific series, and Dan guesses there’s really only one way to find out that answer.

or

And they were co-hosts. Oh my god they were co-hosts.

pastry chef attempts to steal phil's heart (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: If anyone asks, Prince Philip's sneaky morning journeys down to the royal pastry kitchen are for nothing more than the perfect cup of coffee.

The Secluded Glade (ao3) - palomeheart

Summary: Phil Lester has always been acutely aware of the ways he and his daemon Adra are different from others. Namely that Adra is male, hasn’t settled yet, and they share second sight that causes them to have dreams that show them glimpses of the future. Now, as a consequence of one of his prophetic dreams, he’s forced to go on a rescue mission to find a group of children that have gone missing from his town. He may have signed up for more than he bargained for, however, when they find another man who’s been captured with some differences of his own.

The Wanting Comes In Waves (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: After moving to the tiny Welsh coastal village of Rhagfyr, Phil struggles to find a new way of living, what with his new school and the decision of his future still on the table. Dan is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, but perhaps there’s beauty inside destruction.

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

When the Weather Breaks (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Sitting across from Phil on that worn out velvet Starbucks sofa, sharing sickeningly sweet coffees and what they would like to think were hushed giggles, was the first time Dan felt a glimpse at what real love could feel like.

or

Perception checks, pining, and peppermint mochas.

with a bullet (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: phil returns to his room after a party thrown by his housemates only to discover that there’s already someone in his bed

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #masterlists #dan and phil #2020fics masterlist #2020fics

[sanityfails]

Generation Loss is so fucking important and I really hope people understand it’s message and what it’s trying to convey because holy shit is it important.

The whole thing is just criticizing content creation and being put under the public eye. Once you become a public image you are expected to be ok with being controlled and examined and prodded at because once you become a public image, you belong to the public. GlRanboo had no choice in any of what he did. Most of the time that he was being controlled, he was being controlled by Showfall Media or the audience. And any time he did have control, he didn’t have many options in what he did either way. He was trapped. He had nowhere to go and nothing to do because he was doomed from the beginning.

Once you put yourself out there, it’s almost impossible to keep your private life separate from your online presence. If you try hard enough you can get past that, but if you slip up once, the media gets ahold of you and never lets go. Just like how Showfall got ahold of Charlie. Charlie died over and over and over, all so that Showfall could use him for their entertainment services.

You don’t get to set your own pace, you don’t get to choose who views you, you don’t get to prepare for whatever the media throws at you. You have no idea what you are doing and how you are doing it and you are expected to be ok with that. Or you’re expected to do everything perfectly/however everyone else wants you to do it. Ultimately you end up being controlled. And theres no backing out of it.

You forget who you are, you become someone you don’t recognize or someone you don’t want to be. GlRanboo slowly became apathetic to what was going on around him. They slowly stopped caring and became a shell of who they were until they finally broke free. But even breaking free doesn’t give you freedom because you’re stuck with the guilt of what you did or who you became. You had no choice, and yet you still blame yourself.

Behind it all you’re the same person, but you forget how to be you and how to be ok with being you. GlRanboo begged us to just kill them because they didn’t want to repeat the cycle, and they couldn’t live with what they had done. They couldn’t just go back to normal no matter the outcome. They would rather die than live with who they are now.

I’m honestly just rambling and I just woke up so this probably doesn’t make any fucking sense lmao, but it’s crazy to think about. All the details and implications and references got my brain going and I just needed to word vomit lol

#generation loss #genloss spoilers #genloss #generation loss fanart #ranboo #generation loss 1 #idk what im talking about #but this was fun to write #lmk if something is wrong or doesnt make sense idk

[totaleclipse573]

What if the Doom bros had all grown up together?

This is actually really interesting to think about

Because theres three different places in this scenario : The ARK, the Black Comet, and the New Black Comet

For the ARK, lets just assume the deal was never made and Terios got to stay. And somehow Eclipse is here. Maybe I'll think up some reason for that the second I post the response 😭 These three, they're running around the space colony ALL THE TIME. They have 100% ran into people before, some being understanding, and others...not so much. Little freaks of nature.

Eclipse wants everyones attention all the time. MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO SHADOW FOR FIVE MINUTES ITS MYYYYYYY TURN NOWWWWWWWWW. Terios is still shy and anxious, but not nearly as much as his normal counterpart. I like to think Shadow on the ARK was a silly boy. Like Sonic but also not exactly? If that makes sense? Chaos trio

We do not talk about the inevitable incident.

If they were all on the New Black Comet things would've been pretty interesting ngl. Would they have ended up overpowering GUN and getting rid of the bomb somehow? Would it have set off anyway and now the three of them landed on Angel Island, only to be separated? Their personalities having grown up together in this scenario probably wouldn't have changed all that much aside from the gremlin showing a little more in Shadow and Eclipse XD And also fatherly pressure. Fun for these guys.

Now the FUN one. The Black Comet. With Doleon. All three of them.

I'd like to think that with three of them instead of one, there would at least be some support for each other whenever Doleon decides to do his things to one or more of them, someone the brothers at least know they can find comfort in. On the other hand...its two more kids for Doleon to try and break for his benefit. And make no mistake, HE WILL, NO MATTER WHAT (even if Shadow is a lot more stubborn, along with Eclipse slightly less so) Interesting to think, what if all three had been connected to the Shards like Terios had, and that trauma and pain was something they could relate over...also, the fact that its not just Terios and Doleon, or Shadow and Doleon, with the invasion. Its the three bros in this together now. That either means they can help each other slip out of the manipulation faster, or they stay in it longer, if one starts to question things and the other two assure theres nothing wrong, and the cycle repeats.

Sorry for the rant that probably didn't answer the actual question 😅 REALLY interesting to think about though

#sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic fandom #doom bros #shadow the hedgehog #eclipse the darkling #sonic oc #terios the darkhog #ask box #thanks for the ask! #i love asks #oc universe au

[watchingyoufromthestars]

Okay, time for my mixed feelings on Scam Likely and how nobody can escape the repetitive cycle of being an imperfect father. I’ll try to be objective as I break down the scene in Goofs Realm, but I’m in my Scam hater era.

THIS IS LONG, SORRYYYYYY

No father will be perfect in fiction or reality, and it’s a running theme of the show. The mistakes of your past define the present and the families have been constantly doomed to repeat them, but in new, fresh, fucked up ways. There are varying levels of mistakes all of them have made in the story, especially compared to Willy, but he’s his own special case.

Scam’s sin is ignorance. To the world around him and individuals’ feelings. Consistently he is shown to not realize outside of his Goofs that they can heavily affect other people in ways they do not like. That actions have consequences. His entire relationship with Jodie was a joke to him, while Jodie was left without his romantic partner a second time and was scammed out of a son (and in more ways than one since Hermie was spawned as a teenager instead of a baby). It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and now that someone is his son and he’s dead.

“He tries to hide the fact that he is actually emotionally affect by this, but he only got a 6, so you can see that he is genuinely upset.”

In his own way, Hermie does matter to him. I think Scam is a very hard being to compare to the rest of the cast because of his Goofs realm nature. He has an entirely different set of morals and ground rules of existence. For christ sake you die forever into nothingness in Goofs Realm if you stop being funny. But now Scam is confronted with a harsh truth and he can’t deny an emotional mode outside of Silly and Laughter.

“I didn’t even think of him as something that could die. He was just a goof. Goofs never die. It’s like- all jokes are always funny forever.”

We truly see Scam’s mindset here. Be it as a Goofs native or just who he is individually, he only thinks of The Big Joke of it all. Hermie was not an individual with feelings to be loved and raised (not that he even raised him at all), Hermie was just a joke to him. And it wasn’t even in any personal way. Everything is a joke to him.

“Where is he? Is he in Hell? Is he in Heaven?”

“I don’t know! He doesn’t have a soul! He’s not like you or me. Well, not like you.

And here it’s cemented in just how irregular Hermie is. Neither him nor Scam have a soul. As much as we’ve visited dead characters on this podcast, there’s nowhere that Hermie can be reached. This incarnation of him is gone forever.

“Do you forgive me for whatever is about to happen? I’m truly going to try.”

Try as he might to make things right — in his own insane way of ‘farting and it’ll be so funny that he’ll come back’ — that’s not something that’s been allowed lately on this show. And what could he even do to make things right anyways? There’s no joke to be made when someone has passed, and no joke can bring them back.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think it would happen like this. I didn’t think he would actually develop a personality; he was just supposed to be a Goof machine. Nobody was supposed to be sad if something happened to him.”

Again, Hermie’s existence was just a part of one big goof and scam for him. Meta and Story, Hermie is and was a joke. He was just supposed to be this silly little guy, but then as time marched on he developed into something of a person. Something a lot of us got attached to and something Normal held onto dearly. “Nobody was supposed to be sad if something happened to him”, but he became too much of a Person for that to stay true.

“I could make you another one.”

And then there’s this line. It kills me in a very specific way. Scam is just so disconnected from human nature that he doesn’t know fully realize the value an individual life holds. Yes, he could just make another Hermie, but that’s not the Hermie. To use the first metaphor that comes to mind, it’s like making a mastercopy. In a previous painting class, we studied a singular painting for one project and recreated it to the best of our abilities. As skilled as one can be in painting, you cannot truly recreate the original. There’s history imbued in the original, and it’s lived a lifetime before your own version was created. Even if you create a version indistinguishable from the original, it is still not the same.

All of this is to say that I cannot truly judge Scam, at least from a certain standpoint. I have very mixed feelings about him, but he’s a unique case of a character that’s very different than judging one of the human dads. Am I rambling here? Am I spouting nonsense? I don’t know, I’m still in distress over crying multiple times from this episode. I’m not proof reading this lol

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads spoilers #scam likely #the only one from today’s episode I’ll tag with character because this is a longer post

[sunwarmed-ash]

Did someone order some fucking angst?

Gavin-centric, something I'm working on atm

Hankconvin ship, angst, dead dove do not eat.

“No.”

Elijah laughs, cruel and pitchy, in a way that twists an old, healed-over scar in his chest.  

“I wasn’t giving you a choice Vinny.” 

“I said phcking no! I ain’t going with you.”

“Is this about the Lieutenant? Or Connor?”

Gavin’s face flushed in a way that’s always been his downfall. 

Elijah laughed, cruel and uncompassionate to Gavin’s pain. 

“You think he’s returned to you with open arms, but he’ll leave you again. He will, because you have been lying to him. And when he does, when they both do, where will that leave you?"

“It's different this time,” gavin restates, because it is! 

“How, because of Connor?”

Elijah's cruel laughter fills the hollow bedroom. “Why would Hank need you when I personally created him your replacement?” 

-

Gavin’s deep into the dark caves of his mind when he walks back into the room where Connor’s being treated. When he enters, the conversation the two men were having stops, and Gavin just wants to disappear into the floorboards.

He tries to force a smile onto his face, because Connor is alive, Elijah saved him, that part wasn't a trick. Elijah had held up his end of the bargain, and now it was time for Gavin to hold up his. Even if it would destroy him, one cancerous blood cell at a time. 

“Gavin?”

Connor’s voice is so soft and worried, it just makes all of this hurt so much worse.

“Yeah, hey.”

His own voice isn't louder than a whisper. He’s surprised he was able to make it work at all. 

“What's wrong?” Connors' growing concern just twists the knife even more. Gavin has to do this. Now. Before it gets harder. 

It's going to kill him. But he has to. They will be okay, they have each other. This will guarantee they stay safe. Because Elijah will leave them alone if he has Gavin. He won't come after them. 

“I’m- resigning from the DPD.” 

“WHAT?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

The pair explodes their confusion and anger and it triggers Gavin’s many PTSD symptons. Gavin can’t look at either of them. He can barely push the words through his throat and out. 

“I have to stay here, with Elijah."

Connor’s hand finds his and squeezes it, desperate for Gavin to look at him and explain just what in the fuck is going on. But he can't. He can't because then this will be impossible. And Elijah will certainly kill Connor. Porbably right in front of the two of them. And then he will kill Hank, and leave Gavin to clean it all up. 

“Why do you have to quit though. If you stay here, you could… commute,” Connor tries, desperate for anything that could keep him with them, and Gavin pulls his hand back. It hurts. 

“Clean break is better,” he says, and its immediately clear in the stunned silence they're not talking about a job resignation here. “He’s- gonna need round the clock care. He’s- sick." The lie burns on his tongue like acid. He hates it. Hates everything his life has become. Always has been. Is doomed to be. Time is a flat circle. Everything that has every been or ever will be is doomed to repeat itself in a horrific, never ending cycle, forever. “Believe me, I’d do anything for it to not be this way… but it has to be. I don’t want this.” 

Because that has to be clear. He phcking hates that he’s let himself feel love again, because it being ripped away from him again will be his inevitable downfall. Gavin is moments from losing it. He’s gonna have an episode. He's gotta get out of here before the panic builds so strong he suffocates in front of them. He has to go. But there's a very real chance he will never see them again. Elijah could burst in here and collect him any second. He can't leave either of them without saying how he feels. 

Gavin finally looks up, because he has to to do what he intends to do, and it shatters him. 

Connor is crying. Connor. The android. Is crying. And Hank is so worked up he’s refusing to look at Gavin. 

Gavin starts with Connor. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

He moves in close until their lips are touching, and Gavin kisses Connor with every ounce of whatever the phuk is left of his heart. He hates this. He wants to go with them. But he can't. He’s trapped. He needs help. He needs saving. Save me Connor. Please. 

When Gavin pulls away Connor is reeling in a shaky breath. He catches Gavin before he can move more than just a few inches away.

“Gavin please.”

Gavin pulls away, he can't-

He moves to Hank and his eyes are pissed, burning and demanding answers Gavin can't give him. 

When Gavin moves closer, Hank’s hand comes up, stopping him. 

“I’m not fucking saying goodbye.”

Everything left of Gavin Reed, dies with those 5 words. 

Hank doesn't understand how critical of a plot point this moment is going to be in Gavin’s eventual mental downfall, but in this moment Gavin can’t blame him. 

He doesn't kiss Hank goodbye. He doesn't even get to say goodbye. He can’t. He just, turns towards the door. Elijah is closing in on him. He can feel him, buzzing like a warning bell at the back of his skull. Call it telepathy or PTSD signaling, today he was grateful for the warning.  

#hankconvin #hankvin800 #gavin reed angst #gavin x hank x connor #hank x connor x gavin #connor x hank x gavin #hank anderson #gavin reed #connor dbh #elijah kamski #connor rk800 #sunwarmed ash #find me on ao3

[lycanresistance]

it’s crazy to me that so many people genuinely don’t like aaron lycan. like i’m not talking minecraft diaries idgaf about that i mean like normie mystreet aaron

are you kidding me? he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone. his parents don’t love him and just want him to fill an image of the perfect quiet heir and him and his sister are estranged because they both think their parents love the other more. as a kid he wasn’t allowed to have any friends so his only friend was a dog he talked to that his dad then carelessly lost (and then like years later “came back” YEAH RIGHT #AlexanderWasReplaced i’m a that was two dogs truther) so he played final fantasy and got into fights for fun. he then got into the relationship with the only person who was ever nice with them and continued to never be able to voice any discomfort or objections in that relationship (see: lovers lane break up arc, the christmas special which literally comes after proving she learned nothing) and stays in it because he’s so alone and he doesn’t know how to do anything else.

think about the scene in pdh where his father smashes his phone and then later he smashes gene’s phone. literally his entire character is defined by cyclicality, so out of his control and forced to repeat the past that irene picks him above all others to protect and revives him over and over even when he tells her he just wants to stay dead. his life is predetermined, both by minecraft diaries and by his parents, doomed to suffer these dynamics he can’t escape over and over for the sake of a narrative that abandons him and a girlfriend that cared about herself more than his own well-being (i don’t want this post to sound like i don’t like aphmau i do a core character trait of her is just that she’s selfish because she’s The Main Character) (i also view mystreet as a trope deconstruction even if it’s accidental)

aaron is the mysterious “bad boy” but as we see in fcu he literally only comes off that way because of a deep anxiety about and insecurity over his ability to interact with other people. he’s been told his entire life he’s a monster, and it’s a cycle he has to fulfill, but until then he just wants to be loved. he’s lonely and insecure and pathetic and bitchy snark hidden under layers of fawn and freeze and he’s my girlfriend

#aphmau #aaron lycan #mystreet #my post #Hi idk why i’m posting so much rn… i got shit to say i guess

[eagna-eilis]

The metaphysical mechanics of Anakin's Force Ghost are the single biggest mystery of the period between RotJ and TFA to me.

If he can Force Ghost, or at least sometimes, then what governs what he can and cannot do, and who he can or cannot speak with?

If he can appear to others the way Obi Wan, Qui Gon, Yoda, and eventually Luke can, it makes very little emotional sense unless something is blocking him.

I like to think that Anakin, in death, had enough respect for Leia not to appear to her. His actions killed her real mam and dad, the people who raised her into a kind, strong person with integrity in every step. He tortured her, he destroyed her homeworld and her culture. He wouldn't be so stupid as to think that a nice father-daughter chat would solve everything.

I like to think that he loves her from an observational distance, and brims with pride at every step she takes for the galaxy that he injured gravely and so nearly destroyed. So like Padmé, her justice-seeking Naberrie qualities nurtured like rare orchids by Bail and Breha, who were themselves so principled and just. Anakin might also see the ways in which she is not like any of the senators or royalty who made her who she is. He might want to take credit for the parts of her that are so brave, so impassioned, so willing to challenge any authority she sees as unworthy or unjust. Obi-Wan told her, when she was very young, that this was her inheritance from Anakin. But Leia doesn't want anything from him, and he understands. So he spends time watching, in grieving pride, at what his daughter became in spite of him.

I also like to think that at a certain point he would have to try, if he could, to intervene in what was being done to her family. In my heart there is no version of a redeemed afterlife Anakin who does not try to save another Skywalker child from what he went through.

He would have tried to materialise, blue-aura-lit and kind eyed, into the living room of a Chandrilla apartment, to try to soothe the terror and discomfort of a tiny child levitating cambiblocks and breaking glass in distress. He has far more experience with child murder than child rearing, but by the Force he'd damn well TRY.

It probably wouldn't work, and I think some of us fans (esp those who love the sequels or those who are more interested in the Skywalkers than the Disaster Lineage as a family) deserve to know why.

Why, in my headcannons, does Anakin spend years trying to send thoughts of 'no kiddo that isn't me, I'm me, your grandpa, and I can tell you that your mom and dad love you so much and that those other voices are full of bantha-poodoo, please trust me, please believe me, please hear me' out through the Force, only for them to never find their way to their intended recipient?

Why can he not appear to Leia and say, 'I know you don't want to talk to me and I don't want you to have to endure the distress of talking to me but it's about your kid. I can't make the past alright, but let me please give you the information you need to stop the cycle repeating'.

Why can't he warn Luke? 'There's a storm coming and the lightning is not natural. You have seen that lightning before, standing right by my side, and it comes from the same source. Our nephew dreams things that are not his own. Consider striking him and you will doom the world, but also our family. Don't let the Darkness guide you, its only goal is to make more Darkness.'

There are several potential answers, of course.

The first is that Anakin can get through but nobody listens. It's a steady stream of 'stay away from my child, stay away from my academy, don't corrupt our future with the evil of the past'. This option reflects negatively on Luke and Leia, but it also feels true to traumatised families. I'm a firm believer in the fact that Luke, Leia, and Han as having unwittingly done poorly by the next generation of their kin does not 'ruin' their characters, it makes them more sympathetic and human, and so it doesn't upset me if this is the option. It's bad parenting and good storytelling.

The most obvious answer is of course, Palpatine. He can block Anakin's access to the likes of Luke, Leia, and Ben. This means that a dead Palpatine is still torturing a dead Anakin. Excuse me while I cry for a thousand years. Now either this means that Palpatine thinks Ahsoka is small potatoes and it doesn't matter if Anakin can see her in the WBW, or that Anakin could only communicate with Ahsoka BECAUSE she could enter the WBW. So, considering that the Ahsoka show takes place after 'Last Shot', it still makes no sense that Anakin doesn't go 'please see what's going on with Leia's kid, I'm worried about her and about her lil guy.'

The third option is the one that I find genuinely upsetting. Not in-world upsetting, but what-are-they-doing-with-our-story upsetting. It's also the one I find the most likely:

DLF in general and Favroni in particular are pushing Disaster Lineage out in front, and trying to sublimate the Skywalkers. I see Ahsoka as Anakin's sister, and I don't think it is inappropriate for him to love her the same way he loves his children, his grandchild, or his brother Obi-Wan. It makes emotional sense for him to reach out to her, and love is not a finite resource.

But a set of wider storytelling choices is highlighting that the most important inheritance of the story is Yoda to Dooku to Qui Gon to Obi Wan to Anakin to Ahsoka to maybe Sabine, or Jacen Syndulla. I feel in some ways that shifting Anakin's attention, or the context in which we encounter him, may give the audience a sense of the greater legitimacy of the Disaster Lineage to the long term future of the galaxy.

I have ZERO problem with this being the thread by which Force training is maintained in the GFFA through the sequels and into the post-sequel era. I prefer it to watching my beloved Rey of Jakku doing it all alone.

I have a HUGE problem with the idea that we may never get more Skywalkers in context with one another. And more importantly, the idea that we really shouldn't care about what happened to them after Return of the Jedi. That the sequels don't matter.

Anakin is the greatest silence in the sequels. I suspect that they didn't get Hayden back because they were still nervous of prequel hate (sweet summer children that they were, not knowing that the penis-brains were gunning for them, too). Many of us hoped that the New Republic Era TV series would inflect upon the ST the way that Clone Wars inflected upon the PT.

So far it really hasn't.

#star wars meta #ahsoka spoilers #anakin skywalker #sequel trilogy meta #sequel trilogy #ben solo #skywalker family #leia organa #princess leia

[allthoughts-headgay]

ok ok ok gl!ranboo and cabinet man by lemon demon this is gonna be long so its under the cut

"Electric desires had unraveled all my wires" - !!!!! WANTING TO ESCAPE THE MASK W THE WIRE THINGS

"Now I'm in the box for safekeeping "-!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BOX AROUND THEIR HEAD (which also looked like a tv 👀)

"The news reporters reported that I died" - HE GOT TAKEN FROM HIS LIFE AND SHIT

"But all my organs were living on inside" - EVEN THO THEY WERE BEING CONTROLLED BY SHOWFALL AND SHIT HE WAS STILL ALIVE SOMEWHERE IN THERE

"Circuit board to brain" - WHEN HE WENT ALL NPC

"With two lungs collecting change" - HE AND THEIR LITERAL BODY WERE BEING USED FOR PROFIT

"One big human heart gently beeping" - AGAIN, HE IS HUMAN SOMEWHERE IN THERE BUT EVEN THAT IS BEING BENT AND USED FOR ENTERTAINMENT

this next part could work like a duet between showfall and gl!ranboo

showfall:

"You can't win me, I can't be beat" - showfall is inescapable, they are doomed to just repeat the cycle forever

"I won't hurt you unless you cheat" - the streamers will be safe as long as they do not resist (hetch?? hello??) and just go along with the cycle, they will just keep reviving

gl!ranboo:

"You can't see me behind the screen" - he still keeps some of their humanity hidded from showfall and the viewers, no matter how much they are used for entertainment

"I'm half human and half machine" - he has given up so much of himself and their identity for views, plus the mask controlling him and shit

this next bit is just gl!ranboo again

"Thank God for business, they let me take the floor" - showfall had determined that ranboo would provide them with profit, so they took him

"I stood so proudly, like I was going to war" - they were stuck in this situation, but did not give up. he stayed strong and faught back against showfall

"Players soon appeared and I quickly was revered" - players = viewers, controlling ranboo's actions yet rooting for his escape

"This must be what love would have felt like" - they were robbed of the chance at real love, and instead only received the sort of fake "love" given by the viewers. one who's entire identity is turned into a character for entertainment cannot be truly loved within that character

"Such dedication, they came from miles away" - the viewers were relentless, coming in from all over the world to control him. some wanted them to escape, some seeing them as just a character

"With eyes so piercing, they'd wait their turn to play" - the viewers were observing and analyzing everything he did, seeing the situation as little more than a game for the viewers to win

this next bit is showfall

"Perfect patient lines because I was in their minds" - the viewers waited patiently for their turn to affect the situation, accepting everything they saw at face value. in a way, showfall was controlling them just like they were controlling ranboo (squiggles, the funny situations distracting the viewers, etc)

"I could do whatever I felt like (whatever I felt like)" - because the viewers did not question what was going on or try to break free from showfall's control over them, showfall could present whatever it wanted and the viewers would go along with it

this bit is gl!ranboo again but with the idea that he had gone through many cycles before (or perhaps in the future if they had not died?) before he dies so not totally canon but who knows

"I'm happy for years and years" - ranboo is complacent in showfall's control, deciding that it was better/safer to play along and not resist (like when he went npc?)

"And, only eating the occasional maintenance man" - he rarely rebelled (until the end), oblivious to what was really going on

"Only driving a few kids to madness" - at least in ranboo's perspective, most of the viewers did not care about them. to the viewers he was nothing more than a character. most of the viewers would not go mad spending their days worrying or theorizing or trying to get them out, they would simply move on. (key word in this line is "few" lol)

"Maybe they were predisposed to madness, who knows?" - maybe those viewers were like that for every fictional character, maybe that's just the way they are, they still don't see that he is actually a person

"I only want to have fun" - they just want to be able to live their life, even though he's accepted that his life is now just being used as entertainment. at least they have some sort of purpose

"But now they're telling me my days here are done" - the viewers inevitably get bored of ranboo, and he no longer provides showfall profit. he has no purpose, there is no reason to keep them around.

"'Cause there's a tiny little box that they make in Japan and pretty soon it's gonna fit in your hand" - as soon as ranboo becomes obsolete, there will be another form of entertainment pushed in front of the viewers' eyes to keep them engaged. it's a never ending cycle.

this bit is gl!ranboo, a while after they are replaced

"It's getting lonely, it's getting hard to breathe" - he has been turned into a character, their sole purpose was to entertain. once the viewers move on, there is nothing left for him, and nothing left of them to turn back into a person

"The arcade's empty, I think it's Christmas Eve" - the viewers are off having fun somewhere else, trapped in the cycle of fake characters and fake situations to keep them distracted, to make them forget

"Someone's broken in, now they're painting on my skin" - some viewers inevitably remember ranboo, coming back to them even after he's been discarded, expecting to find the same exact character that they knew.

"Breaking me and taking my quarters" - he's suddenly being used as entertainment, drained for money, just as they thought he'd found peace.

"Bashing in my face with a crowbar, kicking me and pushing me over" - ranboo is suddenly forced to create more entertaining content, contort themself back into the character, in order to keep the remaining viewers constantly happy

"Now they see my blood on their sneakers" - inevitably, some of his humanity comes out, shocking and driving away any remaining viewers, leaving them lonely, but finally at peace, yet still unable to find themself again.

#anyways #lol #that was a lot #genloss #generation loss #genloss spoilers #ranboo #gl!ranboo #cabinet man #lemon demon #this could be a cool animatic or smth lol

[offonaherosjourney]

Don't mind me, just thinking about how BRUTAL Hollow Knight would be as a roguelike.

Instead of always playing as the same knight every time you die you play as a different vessel, a different knight. Every run starts with you trying to break out of the Abyss (which would somehow connect to the top of Hallownest). The bottom of the chasm in the Abyss is already full of corpses when you start the game, but as you keep dying, more corpses keep piling up.

Some npcs notice that you are a different knight than the one they'd previously met, and each time they introduce themselves to you with a smile and kind words. Other npcs don't notice, they think you might have had a growth spurt, because you seem taller. And then there's a third kind of npcs, those that definitely notice, and that each time they meet you, a different you, they don't know what to do. Sometimes they greet you with a pleasant smile, other times their mood turns sour the second they spot you, because of the harrowing cycle both of you are stuck in. During some runs they talk to you about some of your predecessors, but during other runs they decide to spare you the details, wondering if maybe it's for the best that way. At some point, one of these npcs drops a key and you eventually discover it grants access to a secret room where that npc has been chronicling your attempts. There is a number written in a wall, because they keep tabs on how many of you they've met. There is also an asterisk next to the number, pointing out that the number is only an approximation. It's not accurate, it couldn't be, because certainly a lot of knights must have died before the npc met them.

Hornet... Hornet would like to love every single one of you, she would like to believe that you will be the sibling that succeeds, but she doesn't, she can't. Win or lose, there's no point in caring for any of you, because the soul crushing reality is that even the knight that raises victorious will abandon her when they are forever sealed inside the temple to replace the Hollow Knight.

One day, one of you succeeds. You replace the Hollow Knight. You seal the Infection. You could stop playing the game then, if you wish to do so. But the game isn't over. The next time Hornet spots one of you, she's horrified. Is the new vessel already succumbing? Is the cycle doomed to repeat until the eventual victory of the Infection? Or is it because you were created for a reason, and while that reason might no longer exist, you still do?

The Temple is sealed, and it will remain sealed until there's evidence that the Infection is once again escaping. So you wait, and while you wait, you decide to help people rebuild Hallownest. Even if it's pointless, even if it's doomed if you really are part of a cycle that one day might break. Even then, because what else are you supposed to do?

And when the first signs of the Infection reappear, you head to the Temple once again. Except this time, Hornet appears during the fight. She helps you achieve victory, but gets trapped inside the Temple with you, the new vessel. The next time the Infection reappears, when you open the Temple, Hornet gets out, she's very weak, and apologizes for not being able to help. Next time, she promises. This is another ending. You could stop playing then, and leave Hallownest stuck in that cursed cycle. Or you can keep playing, keep fighting. You visit the Colosseum of Fools and Godhome's Pantheons, because maybe, if you get stronger you will be able to vanish the Infection once and for all.

Eventually, during one of your final fights (when you finally acquire the Awoken Dream Nail), when Hornet pins the current Knight down and you use the Awoken Dream Nail, you're taken into a dream where the Radiance, the true heart of the Infection, is imprisoned.

When you finally defeat it, the Infection and the Temple vanish. There is a shot of the Abyss, where the rest of your siblings sink down into the ground. No one is there to witness it, but when Hornet eventually makes it to the Abyss and finds it empty, she realizes that it's finally, truly over. When she cries, her tears are bittersweet.

#hollow knight #roguelike #hollow knight spoilers #nym's posts

[mysterycharacterflowers]

Round 1; A bouquet of poppies, daffodils, daisies, ivy, and purple hyacinths Vs A bouquet of gloriosa (flame lily), veronica, jasione, jacaranda, cyclamen, jasmine and freesia

If you know who they are, or are pretty sure of it, please don't tell until this poll has ended!

First, let's talk about the bouquet of poppies, daffodils, daisies, ivy, and purple hyacinths

Meaning and why they were chosen: -The poppies can represent eternal sleep and/or imagination. They're also canonically important to the character. -Daffodils can represent unequaled love and "you’re the only one, the sun is always shining when I’m with you". -Daisies represent loyal love. -Ivy represents wedded love, fidelity, and affection. -Purple hyacinths mean 'i am sorry', 'forgive me', and sorrow. Description: He got married, not for long though, as his spouse kicked the bucket sooner than they should've. All things considered they were a sweet couple. After the death, the rest of his life was mostly grieving. And some murder. You know how it is <3. They do eventually reunite, after death ofc. Before the whole 'damn my spouse just fucking died' he was the more responsible one, thought not by much tbh. He engaged in less shenanigans than his spouse, and the shenanigans HE partook in didnt end with his death so thats 1-0 on his spouse. Much better at situations than his spouse, but chaos comes for us all. About 50% of that chaos was courtesy of the shit his spouse did. Him and his spouse are both uniquely doomed by the narrative, with each other playing a big part in their respective ends. He blames himself for his spouse's death, pinning it as his fault for not protecting them.

Check their post here

Now, let's talk about the bouquet of gloriosa (flame lily), veronica, jasione, jacaranda, cyclamen, jasmine and freesia

Meaning and why they were chosen: Gloriosa (flame lily), for its symbolism of passion, pride, and honor, as he is a deeply idealistic person who cares so much about doing the right thing, walks the walk, and takes pride in his values. Also, because of the name; fire is an element relevant to him. Veronica, for faithfulness and devotion, especially in a religious context (though the religious context of the flower’s namesake is decidedly different from that of this character). Jasione, for justice, as he is committed to the execution of justice and ultimately breaking cycles of unjust violence, even though he is often trapped between a rock and hard place. With the task of breaking the cycle of revenge (be it on a racial or religious or familial basis; overall it’s all three) comes the understanding that all who came before and tried, failed to solve the rift and got more people killed—some of them even pressured him into committing injustice on their behalf— but he’s not going to give up or stop trying to figure out what justice actually is. Jacaranda, for its symbolism of wealth, knowledge, and rebirth; wealth because he is rich and privileged (in some ways), both wealth and knowledge because he is an economics nerd, and rebirth because he sacrifices one element of himself to accept another. Rebirth also applies in that when his life is uprooted by tragedy and his being made a scapegoat, he makes the most of it and crafts a decent life for himself far from home, giving back to his new community and cultivating new interests. It also symbolizes wisdom and even if he isn’t, uh, wise per se, he’s working on it. Cyclamens, for sincerity, religious devotion (it bears repeating), resignation, reserved love, and lasting feelings. His love for another, tender though it is, is often across significant emotional barriers, barriers of other relationships, and even great physical separation that was forced upon him for years on end. He is by far the most sincere of a duplicitous lot and is sometimes guessed to be even trickier for his earnest-seeming demeanor, but that’s just how he truly is and it can’t be corrupted away. Jasmine, for purity, modesty, and simplicity; he tries to live a modest life in accordance with his religion. Freesia, for trust and innocence; he deserves to be trusted, and suffers from the innocent youthful naivety of thinking his ideals can easily be put into practice if he just takes action Description: A bit of a zealot for a good cause, grows out of black-and-white thinking, and gets a lot more tired because the world is full of tribalism and hate, but he is still so sweet. The younger son of a loving yet terribly messed-up family that unfortunately isn’t the only such family involved. So many people he interacts with get bad vibes from him (to the extent that one guy who worked with him poisons him on the basis of distaste, against all practicality), but that’s seriously not his fault. He can be very intense though. On a completely irrelevant note, he learns that gay people exist when he’s in his 20s and is greatly surprised, even though he has lived with gay people his entire life.

Check their post here

#round 1 #mysterious character 2: a bouquet of poppies - daffodils - daisies - ivy - purple hyacinth #mysterious character 2: bouquet of gloriosa (flame lily) - veronica - jasione - jacaranda - cyclamen - jasmine - freesia