#brennanpatrickpoetry

[lensesandpencils]

Lost loves

And wasted promises

Usually permeate the air

Above humans who have a heart

And I've always questioned intentions

And suspensions of my logic

For a bit of someone else's breath

Upon my tongue

Because the latter

Just seems too damn sweet to pass on

And I recall all those nights

Where I'd stare at your words

On a shitty flip phone screen

And imagine a different existence

Where you slept next to me

And sighed in the same high tone

As your voice.

A voice I missed

When I didn't hear it

A voice that made me feel

Like I was able to be loved.

Did you actually love me?

You were the first to say it

You told me I didn't have to say it back

And I never did things I didn't have to do

I loved you.

For who can't be loved

For sharing their time and their heart

On someone else

But damn my mind for intruding

And damn my heart for allowing

Such a blasphemous invasion of love

I never did things I didn't have to do

But time is essential

And the distance was miserable

When the only distance apart you want to be

Has to be measured in negative numbers

Damn geography

And damn the fucking clock

For giving meaning to the space between

When I hear your voice

And when I hear your voice again.

And damn our lives

For being so fucking inconsistent

And so insistent

On keeping our paths separate

Damn you.

Damn you for loving a boy

Who had not yet become a man…

For loving a boy

Who didn't yet understand

How beautiful you are.

And damn me.

For not fucking growing up fast enough.

#poemsfromthevault #lost loves #bppvault #brennanpatrickpoetry #late night poetry #poets on tumblr #growing up