#but a lot of friends have interesting and valid points

[claiestve]

𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 ꨄ Alex

˜”* ❝𝙄 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ꜰɪɴᴀʟ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ & ᴛʜᴇ ᴇxɪᴛ

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

“What do you mean?” 

Honestly, you didn’t know what happened. It seemed like, at that moment, your conscience took over. You still debated whether this was a good decision, but no matter what, you could never change the answer. It wasn’t like a ‘good or bad’ thing, but rather a right or wrong. And which one did this fall under?

“[name]! I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to be considerate of your feelings.”

“You always say that, Alex. You always say your decisions are made to better both of us. It’s like you think you’re my guardian angel or something.”

“I’m not implying that at all.”

That was such a lie and you knew it. Alex always made a point to be the ‘humble’ one who cared for you more than himself. Your friends used to ask you how you found someone so caring like him. It wasn’t a complete facade but it was an exaggeration. 

He could sit in front of your face all day and pretend he was always right. Not a liar just stubborn. 

“What would I do without you?” You mocked his tone, “I didn’t ask for you to be considerate of my feelings, Alex. Lord knows if I wanted that, I wouldn’t ask to talk to you and catch up.”

“Look, it’s clear there’s still animosity and I don’t want to make this tension worse.”

“Alex, there’s no tension. I’m just trying to make myself clear. Now, can you answer to my request?”

He sighed, looking around. You didn’t know exactly what he was looking at or for and you didn’t like that it wasn’t you. Even when you were right in front of him, practically begging for an answer, he didn’t want to give you that attention. 

Often, you thought about it but you never saw it. How different you two were. Sometimes you’d ask yourself where everything went wrong but you knew exactly where it all went wrong. It was sad though, seeing how you went from being so in love to now standing in front of him getting ticked off by every move he makes. 

“That’s… fine. We can catch up,” He cleared his throat, “I am quite interested in what you’ve been up to recently.”

You smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. It was the least he could do.\

“Great, let’s walk around.” 

You smiled at him. It was partially fake. You weren’t exactly happy at the moment but you weren’t upset either.  

“So, how have you been? Have you been making a name for yourself in The Big Apple?”

“Well… it’s been great. I mean, the projects I’ve had the privilege to work on have been amazing and I’ve been accompanied by so many amazing people too. I miss home a lot though… and you.”

The last words made you stop. You didn’t need to hear them at all. Maybe if this was months ago when you were still thinking about him every night, but you were healed now. There was no longer a desire to see him or know how he was. 

There were days you couldn’t even get out of bed because all you could think about was him. For a while, it felt like he was a resident in your mind. You never thought you’d be okay after the break up so when you were, it gave you a new kind of confidence. However, hearing him say he missed you shattered your heart. Maybe because you lived partly in the dark after him. 

“Um,” He tried to refocus the conversation, “How has being a lawyer been?”

“It’s been good. I can’t talk about much, but even if I could, it wouldn’t sound nearly as interesting as your whole photography thing.”

He nodded, looking at you expectantly. Like he wanted you to comment on him missing you. Possibly wanting a reciprocation. 

“I didn’t know you missed me.”

“It’s hard not to. You were my everything outside of my career. You meant– you mean so much to me so it’s not exactly easy to let go.”

“I get that.”

He scoffed at that. It felt like he was disappointed with your responses because he wasn’t getting proper validation. He wanted you to want him. Alex loved the way you loved him so what happens when you no longer do?

“I mean, [name], c’mon. You can’t act so nonchalant about this. You hear me, right? I’ve been telling you I miss you and all you can say is ‘I get that’.”

“What? Do you want me to tell you that I missed you too? I did but that’s in the past, Alex. That breakup really fucked me up. I wish you knew how bad it actually was. My existence doesn’t revolve around the love we once had for each other.”

“I still love you. I don’t get why you insist on putting us in the past!”

“Because, Alex!” You start to match his tone, getting as loud as him, “You may love me and I promise I love you too, and I always will but I am not in love with you. There’s a difference. I don’t want to relive that pain so yes, we are in the past so I can heal in the present!”

You stop walking and look at him, deep in his eyes. Seeing him nearly beg for you to run back to him made you feel betrayed. 

“I have taken time to heal which is why I thought we could have this conversation but I was clearly wrong. I hope you can do the same, Alex. Trust me, you’ll be so much happier once you leave our relationship in the past.”

You tried to walk away before feeling a firm grip on your wrist. 

“You can’t just walk away, [name]! Why do you choose to walk away from us?”

“Because I’m not choosing ‘us’,” You removed his hand, “I’m choosing myself.”

With that, you walked away as fast as you could. You were eager to get out of that because you knew that nothing good would come out of that conversation. 

Your friend smiled and reached out to embrace you. 

“I’m so proud of you for that.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

glad we made it this far um yeah! that shit made me mad and i wrote it sooooo yeah but anyways round of applause for the reader

#zsakuva #asmr #sakuverse #zsakuvaxreader #alex

[big-boah]

The only thing I have to say about the autism support needs & masking discourse:

There are people who haven't been talked to like a baby by a stranger in real life, and it shows.

#autism #high support needs #actually autistic #autism things #masking #tw infantilization #i am visibly autistic/disabled #and i know my fellow autistics and disabled friends who have higher support needs know what I'm talking about #I'm too tired to get involved #but a lot of friends have interesting and valid points #i know that a lot of folks are helped by things being broken down and That's fine #im that way sometimes too #I'm talking about others being condescending and assuming your needs without talking to you like anyone else #because of being visibly autistic

[astrxealis]

it has been a while since i have advertised any of my favorite games and so hello ... !! i implore you to play final fantasy xiv (fourteen) it is my favorite game and it is so good for so many reasons i love it so much (unlimited free trial btw)

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i could go on forever about this game and idk if that's even an exaggeration at this point bcs i've talked for hours about it #tbh i think any kind of gamer could play it (though ofc there's people who won't like it and that's fine bcs we're all different!) #but yeah it IS an mmorpg but there are really a lot of people who have this as their first mmorpg or the ONLY mmo they like #the story is incredibly good and ofc that too is. up to You but in general i do believe and a lot of others do as well that yeah #idk man :') this game has brought me an extreme amount of joy and is honestly . man. i owe so much to it #and i'm really not afraid to say that! either out of embarrassment or shame or whatever bcs i am affirmed by the many others who feel the #same that i'm not alone in feeling this way >_< idk. i think those around me and esp my loved ones and friends #deserve the experience the same joy ffxiv has given me ... even if not to the same extent ofc WHEEZE ffxiv just personally means #so much to me it consumes my mind and i love it so very much ehbgsbjhg BUT YEAH. yeah #i've felt a bit guilty or embarrassed to like ... express how much things mean to me bcs hmmhmmhm maybe i'm Too Much #but i think xiv has really helped me affirm myself and the fact that yeah! i'm just really passionate and enthusiastic about what i love #and uh. ehbghabgbhb i still don't share my thoughts except for to myself and to my twin and online just a bit but #man idk what i'm talking anymore about but i'm really grateful to ffxiv and i'm glad a lot of others are too ... >< #which is interesting bcs a lot of the playerbase is older than me :O hells yoshi-p is around the age of my dad and a streamer i watch is too #GBSHJBG ... and i have played with people much older than me as well! but it's. strangely nice? #i don't necessarily have to be wary about my safety bcs in general you wouldn't find that with the playerbase unless you do #specific things/go to specific places :O a lot are just people looking to have fun and/or relax after a long day. which is nice #hmm i'm just rambling a lot now again but yeah ... i think its really beautiful how we each have something that we love a lot #and for me one of those stuff is def ffxiv. and i . think it's understandable/valid for me to wish for those i care for to experience what #i have too :O hmm w all this ngl i see that i still need to better accept my feelings and all GHSBHG i'll try my best >< #okay rambles over GAH I SHOULD EAT DINNER. maybe finish 1 hw as well b4 the day ends ehe #tbh most of my rambles ^^ are for ffxiv w the RPG part bcs tbh it is true when people say it is like an rpg + mmo aspects lol #but i really appreciate the mmo aspect >< it's strangely helped me w my social anxiety rather than worsen it! #it's helped me make new friends and great experiences and considering w/o the mmo aspect i'd probably be still #drowning in my misery from back then :O if it were not for ffxiv i sincerely doubt i would have talked again to my irl best friends so <3 #okay i will stop rambling now. tbh i don't think ... hm ... nvm. but anyway! no pressure ofc but yes i suggest u play ffxiv teehee #but if you really can't due to Reasons that is ofc fine as well! i don't want to seem like i'm forcin people wah ... #it is just a thing for ffxiv players to like advertising for ffxiv and i so happen to really like doing that lol ehbsjgh >< #uh i forgot what else i wanted to say but my throat is gabgjebgjhs so bye bye

[oatbugs]

ok so heres what happened

#basically we went on another date. idk if u guys remember but the first date actually went rly well but for some reason i felt Nothing like #there was literally nothing wrong and everything went perfectly i showed her around london etc i was just like. idk i felt. friendship #not much more. anyway so for this date i went to manchester (they came all the way to ldn for me last date so its fine its fair) and she #showed me around etc and it was like. rly rly good. like genuinely we did a lot and talked a lot..and like. theyre rly rly good at art etc #like they carry pencils and their sketchbook w them everywhere and they draw ppl and scenery etc that they see + find interesting. #and like we talked. a lot . but at some point they looked at me a lot and i was like whats wrong and she said youre really beautiful and id #love to draw u . which was rly sweet...and also she said she loves watching me watching things. bc we went to a gallery #and then a book shop. BTW THE BOOK SHOP. ok so we were walking and there was like a random staircase upstairs and a sign saying book shop w #nothing else on it outside and we went upstairs and it was like a rly small but rly. cosy? interesting? book shop and there was this guy w #a rly rly pretty face and a long coat typing and there were like 20 poetry books next to him. some of them were lovesongs from the persp- #ective of a satanist and i asked him if the book was his and he said i guess . i bought an unlabelled book for £1 #ok just realised it would be too long to type the full interaction but istg i felt more abt this guy than i did abt her and i DONT KNOW WHY #like literally theres nothing wrong things went great i just dont. get it?? like. maybe i need her to be more interesting. but i feel #like thats not a valid reason. anyway she clearly feels more abt me than i do abt her but i also kind of implied previously id be ok w #exploring being more than friends etc but now im like. done exploring? like i dont think i can feel romantically abt her idk..but am i just #being dumb but also is it unfair to her if i say nothing. anyway i bought love poetry we walked around a lot + bought bubble tea + we both #had 5% to make it back home w. also went to cute cafes and vintage places etc etc #ill write abt the bookshop guy later maybe. anyway whats wrong w me why cant i just like smn normally. i have to make rice and #head off to archery now bye

[malewifesband]

EDIT: if this post has made you think about whether or not you are autistic, im really glad! i hope you get some better understanding of yourself and are able to find community and support

however before you go and tell a therapist and seek an official diagnosis please read this thread and consider the points made therein:

autism is highly stigmatized. be fully informed about what you gain and what you lose from having an official diagnosis before seeking one.

EDIT OVER ENJOY THE POST

people do correctly identify that laios is autistic fairly often but a lot of the reasoning begins and ends with his special interest and social difficulties, but honestly it goes far deeper into the build of his character than just those two things

his pain tolerance is wildly inconsistent, unable to tolerate a drop of hot oil (or any heat) but able to shrug off both his leg being bitten off and it being reattached

hes sensory seeking in the extreme. he rubs the bat bones against his face, pets and fluffs the shapeshifter tail.

his desire to eat monsters comes from three very autistic places. 1) the rules for why monsters are not okay to eat but animals are are arbitrary to him so he cannot follow them easily: he cannot understand the 'feelings' argument others make. 2) this too is a sensory seeking behavior. he wants to experience these new things, new flavors and new textures. 3) it completes his knowledge of the monster in question to also have data on its edibility. because he cannot draw that arbitrary line around all monsters, he wants to evaluate them case-by-case and see if real patterns emerge. butchering and eating the monsters improves his knowledge of them greatly and highlights their importance in their ecosystem, as well as making him a part of that same ecosystem

he cannot emote the way others expect him to. he compartmentalizes his feelings (to an unhealthy degree) because he needs a pragmatic solution. so as long as there is a problem to solve, that matters far more than evaluating his emotions and allowing himself to experience them. while this is also a coping mechanism for ptsd, it is a trait found in many autistic people regardless of trauma, as we have trouble sorting the feelings we have and often need time to think about what we feel, so it becomes easier to simply not do it and pretend we dont need to. laios emotions certainly affect him, with or without his processing them, but others do not see what they expect to see and thus dismiss that he is feeling what they would feel

he is incredibly gifted with pattern recognition, observation, and analysis within realms he understands. to understand subjects that dont come easily to him, he must filter them through his established schema (his special interest--this is why they are so special! they help us sort the world). when he isnt sure about the social cues and details hes observed in the shapeshifter arc, he filters it through the lens he understands best: monsters. he was making correct observations about his friends all along, but he could not be confident in that the way he was about their behavior when it came to his interest (chilchucks caution, senshis passions, and marcilles carelessness)

#laios touden #dungeon meshi #i can go on but ive kept this spoiler free for the anime onlies

[astro-rainbow777]

♊︎ Gemini Through The Houses ♊︎

🌟Gemini in the first - When gemini encompasses the first house of self and identity, this usually points to a dynamic and versatile personality that can talk up just about anyone they encounter. They leave a charming first impression and can be remembered by their quick wit, banter and something about their voice usually sticks out. The native could be well versed in foreign accents, theatrical movements, or celebrity impersonations. There are many aspects of them that express their dualistic nature in the physical expression as well; maybe they switch back and fourth between contacts and glasses - or flip flop their style often. 

📘 Gemini in the second - In the second house of finances, possessions, and values, gemini can multiple and diverse sources of income to the natives lives. It could be important for them to always have a back up plan whenever it comes to their streams of income. They could spend a lot of their mental energy thinking about their assets, financial endeavors, and stability. When their mind becomes too much for them they could enjoy indulging in activities that get them out of their head and into their body. Another manifestation is impulsive buying & spending, they can fluctuate between being extremely frugal too generous in their purchases. They could invest money into their hobbies, siblings and friends. 

👨‍🎤 Gemini in the third - Expressive and quick, these natives speak their mind freely and honestly. Because Gemini is in it’s natural ruling house, a lot of the times of the third house are taken quite literally. In the matters of mind and communication - these individuals speak without much thought. They focus on the things they’re interested in and have fun debating controversial topics while keeping things light - unless it’s with family lol. They can have a multitude of hobbies, and enjoy activities that allow them to get in touch with their inner child. They can keep long-lasting friends from their childhood, are in frequently in communication with their cousins and siblings. They make friends easily and get along easy with their neighbors.

👯‍♂️ Gemini in the fourth - These natives may come from a communicative family where emotions were approached lightly and unserious. The natives guardians could have flip flopped between logical, serious, opinionated to open, sensitive and immature. The maternal figure could have acted as the natives friend rather than nurturer and while being vocally supportive could have a tendency to b e irresponsible. The family itself could be quite dualistic and at times unpredictable. From their familial environment, the native may learn that the emotions aren’t valid or worth taking seriously. Because of these experiences, this placement may find themselves trying to pick apart their own feelings, attempting to gain a deeper understanding to them or just being genuinely confused and curious of why they are there and what they mean.

🐠 Gemini in the fifth - This placement is known for their diverse array of hobbies and mentally engaging interests. Studying could be quite fun for them, technology, or chatting with friends online, to name a few. They may have a nerdy and quirky style, liking to incorporate the media, hobbies and special interests they have into their self expression. They may like to appear ambiguous, enigmatic, and enjoy the idea of others being confused or curious of them. The native can participate in debate or like to play devils advocate. They may be attracted to others intellectual abilities, sense of humor, and mentally stimulating conversations, especially when first dating. They are known to date their friends or may prefer a friends to lovers romantic trope. 

🦕 Gemini in the sixth - Does well living with others, especially friends, however enjoys their space. They may spend quite a bit of time online, studying, learning new things, chatting with their friends, etc. They may be quite the planner, spending their days in accordance to a written routine or function well with a planner. Their health can be psychosomatic at times or they can struggle with their mental health, with a big focus on anxiety. They may benefit from learning the art of meditation and mindfulness. They may smoke because gemini rules over oral fixations, beware of health issues related to smoking.

🌼 Gemini in the seventh - These individuals aren’t known to have a romantic type and may end up dating a variety of different kinds of people throughout their lives. Commitment can be something that gives them anxiety because of the fear that comes with losing their partner. In the best case scenario their partner is their best friend or they may never move past just friends with others. They enjoy keeping their close connections light and doing the harder things alone. This natives spouse may embody the gemini traits themselves, being communicative, unserious, funny and mentally engaging. 

🎭 Gemini in the eighth - Communication may be something that this native does very little of, or is a very important lesson in their karmic cycles. They may be too curious for their own good, getting into conspiracy theories, and taboo research topics. It can be hard for Gemini in the eighth to express themselves or communicate their feelings. There may be power struggles in communication or feeling verbally cornered through out their life. Mental health struggles, obsessive thoughts, and an intense communication style can also be pertinent with gemini in the eighth.

🛰 Gemini in the ninth - Here, Gemini falls into the opposing house of its naturally ruling house, showing a lifelong student and open minded individual. Their opinions of society could be forever changing or fluid depending on who’s around. It may be hard for the individual to engage in scientific or analytic topics, and while preferring philosophy & theoretical conversations. They may struggle to move from a student role into a teaching position, because the native enjoys being the ponderer and may struggle with feelings of intellectual inferiority. They may learn about their own morality through others, an internal compass is earned for them in this life time, they may have to try on values and see what feels right for them.

🌠 Gemini in the tenth - This native may be known  as a jack of all trades, and are quite quick learners in the work place. They are great at juggling multiple projects, jobs and career paths. They may have many lines of work they get into before finding what fits them. They can make a career out of their hobbies or intellectual interests. They may find that their public persona is quite different that how they actually are in their personal lives - and may struggle with imposter syndrome to some degree. Work may demand a lot of their time and they may make a lot of friends in their career.

🔆 Gemini in the eleventh - Enjoys intellectual, funny and witty friends and social circles. They can have a diverse group of friends and be a part of many different communities. They can belong to communities that correlate to their special interests and bound over shared hobbies. They have a talent for social interaction, adaptability & engagement, drawing the attention from a variety of social groups. They a curious about humanitarian causes, and can be vocally opinionated about the injustices of the world, but may need to watch for being too heavily influenced by the media/news.

🧿 Gemini in the twelfth - With Gemini over the house of secrets, illusions, and the unseen, the native may keep their opinions/ideas to themselves & can be passive in communication. They can spend a good amount of time thinking about life beyond this lifetime. They can be emotional thinkers, may spend a lot of time daydreaming about their hobbies or special interests. This placement makes for good authors, songwriters, and poets. They may struggle with some degree of stage fright or receiving vocal attention. They can appreciate a good fantasy novel and is very comfortable with their head in the clouds.

Happiest New Moon in Gemini & Season Everyone! Let me know what you think of my post, if you relate, if you don’t relate, things that you notice about your Gemini House placement, ect.

Also, what Gemini placements do y’all have?

I am a Gemini Mercury with Gemini seventh- however my mercury falls into the sixth! Plus Gemini Saturn + North Node in the seventh :) such a fun and dualistic sign!

Farewell,

🌼 Kya 🌼

#astro community #astrology #astrology signs #spirituality #astrology observations #zodiac #Gemini #Gemini through the houses #Gemini First #Gemini second #Gemini third #Gemini fourth #Gemini fifth #Gemini sixth #Gemini seventh #Gemini eighth #Gemini ninth #Gemini tenth #Gemini eleventh #Gemini twelfth

[wilwheaton]

the scorpion doesn’t care who it stings

I posted this on my Facebook four days ago, and it seems to have taken on a life of its own for a minute.

I thought I’d repost it, here:

I can not fathom the emptiness, the insecurity, the insatiable need for attention and validation, the staggering arrogance, the malevolence and total void of human experience that is Elon Musk.

He's the richest man on the planet. You can't go anywhere or do anything without interacting with something he's part of in some way. There are literal millions of people who uncritically worship him, in spite of overwhelming evidence that he's a douchebag. Some number of them will come after me, as they come after anyone who points at their naked emperor. They'll spend entire days going after me and people like me, slavishly serving a man who does not even know they exist. They are his army of fools, uncritically serving his every whim. And it still isn't enough.

He can have any material thing he wants, and he will *never* be happy or satisfied. He has no real friends. Every single person around him is either a viper, a parasite, or both.

So what does he do? He bullies and threatens and harasses and trolls and behaves like the weak, scared, insecure child he has always been. That's a tragedy for him, but it's dangerous for us. He doesn't care what he destroys or who he hurts as he chases this existential thing he cannot ever have.

You know the saying "hurt people hurt people"? He's a hurt person who is hurting our society, making people I care about less safe. The consequences of this one man's midlife crisis are global, and that terrifies me.

In a comment, about an hour later, I added:

You know what's really interesting is the tiny number of people who are attacking and harassing me are either typical right wing idiots who all spew the same garbage from behind their wraparound sunglasses, or these weird nerds who are DESPERATE to justify how toxic and cruel and destructive Elon Musk is. Like, nerds, listen to Old Man Wheaton, please. 

Don't hitch your wagon to Elon Musk. There are countless people who are amazing and genuinely good, who do all the things we wish we could do. Stop defending this piece of shit who would push you into a volcano without even learning your name, if it would save him half a second on his way to his next shitpost on $8Chan (formerly known as Twitter).He doesn't stand up to anyone. He doesn't stand up FOR anyone. He is not your champion. He's angry and chaotic and destructive, and you have to understand that the scorpion doesn't care who it stings.

Finally, I want to add two things: 1) It’s interesting to me that a lot of the people who came to my post to be dicks used a lot of MAGA language. It reminds me of this thing my friend says about concerts: the audience looks like the band. Of course there’s substantial overlap between the angry, hateful, terrified, cowards who support Trump and the same who Stan Elon Musk, and it’s real interesting to see it in action.

2) I haven’t used Twitter for years. I quit before it was popular (lol) because it was better for my mental health. I logged in once when my book was published, and I deleted all my tweets when he announced he was buying Twitter. When he took over and immediately amplified a conspiracy theorist, I made my account private. In a perfect world, I would delete my account entirely. But I have to keep it for reasons I hope I don’t have to explain. After I posted this on Facebook, it made its way around Twitter (still is, four days later, which is ... a thing that is happening) and when people went to look at my account, they saw that it was closed. As much of a fucking manbaby Elon Musk clearly is, he didn’t do anything to my account. In fact, the only reason he even knows I exist (if he does) is through a vanity search of his name. I locked my account on my own, and so should you.

I am only on:

Tumblr

Facebook (itswilwheaton)

Instagram (itswilwheaton)

and my blog that I’ve been neglecting for too long at wilwheaton.net.

I’ve had a Reddit account since 2006, predating user-created subs! I’m u/wil there.

Okay that’s all. Thanks for listening. Please choose to be kind.

#fuck elon musk

[solarpunkani]

"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"

OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.

"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"

OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it

"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"

OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.

"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"

I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.

I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.

Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.

So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.

#out of queue #ani rambles #punks and posers #i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like #idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs' #or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like #maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague #so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into? #there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else #granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis #outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about #but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off #thats how movements die imo #i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing #i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets #which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows. #might delete later

[wumblr]

the way house of leaves has been revived for a cult following is so funny. it's completely backwards! it was a music industry book. the singer poe, who made waves with her debut for having a few tracks produced by j dilla and then if i remember correctly doing a 500+ show tour, essentially tanked her career to promote the book (written by her brother)

not like on purpose but it was supposed to be a paired project and there was a remix with a book excerpt read by mark (the kyrie bmw sex scene) and like, i don't know, a tie-in website -- but then her label got sold or merged or acquired and the project was eventually cancelled after languishing in limbo for a few years. there's also an aspect of this where like, a texas oil executive posed as a friend of her late father (possibly true) in order to manipulate legal proceedings (?) to ultimately own her writing and recording copyrights post-acquisition (dubious allegation, which also relies on her having signed away both types of copyright to her label in the first place, arguably a larger problem spanning the whole industry, even today, still coming up in legal proceedings from kesha and taylor swift and so on)

anyway the album (haunted) and the book were both inspired by the same event (death of their father, tad danielewsky -- as an aside, a professor of theater at brigham young university). the album features samples from a box of cassette tape recordings of his voice. and also some fake samples from a couple of guys pretending to be tad danielewski with an obviously ridiculous accent and a couple of kids pretending to be her as a kid. and it takes place inside the house. the growl is there and everything i swear

it really was one of the top tier 90s concept albums (it was released in 2000 actually) but it is usually FAR too much to handle for casual listening and a lot of it comes across difficult for being so sincere and so unfocused (it is a love letter to her dead father where one of the songs is a list of places she's gotten fucked, because, uh, this is a conversation she wanted to have with him. shrug). and yet it's hard not to take it as it is because it's so consistently well produced

so i know nobody's computer comes with a cd player anymore but to read the book without listening to the paired album implicitly packed in the back of the book jacket is kind of like missing the whole point. there's a whole second act of rashomon you guys are missing. and a third act hello the etsy teleplays. ANYWAY the point i wanted to make is that there are a couple of things about the album sticking to the roof of my mouth as being somehow prescient. there's a distorted "why (are you) so serious" sample that would have come across VERY differently post-joker, but there's also "tell me something dangerous and true," a far more interesting variation on the theme currently circulating. and i'm speaking to an empty room here because it's only the celibate 60% of this website who is reading the book because it allows them a patina of literary validity and several nested unreliable narrators to distance themselves from the sex scenes, but haunted is very authentically, directly and exclusively written in first person and to be honest it fucks too hard for you guys. i'm sorry

#house of leaves

[astrxealis]

i'm really curious in knowing which from my friends would love or hate zenos because personally, i think that what one feels towards a guy like him is really telling of their tastes

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚ #either hating or loving him is valid imo! but i'm really curious fr hmm... #personally i really love zenos (though i of course don't condone his actions). he reminds me a bit of myself #in the sense that i can understand how hedonism/nihilism is like. and i'm a huge nerd #and his character is just so interesting and complex #tbh i think i would somewhat compare his character to akechi :O #in which case ik a friend likes him a lot while another doesn't #and i think both are valid but imo people who don't like akechi/zenos misunderstand their characters #esp more so w akechi tbh... zenos is more. hm. but both have done shit things that you shouldn't condone #but i think you can still appreciate the complexity of their characters and how interesting they are? #and i think if the two of them had a better time growing up and weren't dreadfully alone. things would have been better #i like how they're like... thesis/antithesis to the main character (akira/wol) #not exactly direct opposites though. honestly idk how to really say it but the point i have is yeah ^^

[christinebloodwrittings]

To hunt or be hunted #9

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader x Lucifer Summary: Happy birthday! a late one at that... Warnings: Angst, fluff, bickering.

Hazbin Taglist: @sakuraluna2468 @boogiemansbitch @mysterypotatoink @sibsteria @cherry-cola-100 @readergirlstuff @phoenixica24 @martinys-world @alientee @jellyroom2 @jewelsrules @ladyzaunis @zealousllamawolf @kittycat246 @shamblezzz

Three months passed, no one except Lucifer, Alastor and Charlie became nervous as time went by. Charlie didn't know what else to do about the contract, it protected you from killing yourself during its validity period, but after that she couldn't do anything to avoid it.

"Charlie, can I ask you a question?" She walked over to the stove, accompanying as you finished checking the meat in the pan. “If…if I happened to make it out alive, but your father were the reason for that, or Alastor, how would you feel about it?” Charlie choked on her water, to put it in a nice way.

“You’re asking me permission to go out with my dad?” she laughed, “Depending how okay are you with it” she snickered, “I mean, it would be weird” she started “We’ve been friends for so long, I don’t think I can see you as a step mom” he gave you a playful nudge on your shoulder.

“I don’t plan to play mom with you, I’ve already done it for eight years” you pointed to her bandaged finger you had fixed a few moments before.

“Do you like my dad?” what an interesting question, his advances did in fact made you look forward to spend more time with him, “I’m starting to get fond of him, I want to know if I should push the halt now before it’s too late”.

“And hurt him more than my mom already did? No” she made a pensative face, while the question brew in your stomach, “What if she comes back?” Charlie’s eyes shifted, “I won’t have her back” as a former mother that stung in sympathy for her, as little as that was, “That is what you say now, but I know you, that attitude won’t be there if she stands in front of you” sad but true, you knew her.

“Going back to my father, he’s old enough to decide who he wants to date” you let out a breathy laugh, “I wasn’t asking your permission, I wanted to know how you felt about it, I won’t have my wings broken by you again anyway” she nudged you again.

“If there’s anyone I would know my father would be happy with, you wouldn’t make the first of my list, but you´re there” you made as if there was something piercing your heart, with a stabbing motion of your hand in your chest, “Cold as fuck”.

“You wanted my opinion” she defended herself, “I didn’t say it wasn’t appreciated” you gave her a bite of a stir-fried red pepper, “Y/n, I love you, as friends or an aunt, but I will end what I started when you betrayed me if you hurt him” her horns peeked out of her head, low blow reminding you of how the battle became to be.

“Charlotte, even if he didn’t liked me, I’m ready to fight Jesus fucking Christ for you and this hotel” ‘you and him and Alastor more than anything’ you thought, “Don’t underestimate the growth I had this eight years”.

You plated a portion of the meat, stir-fried veggies and mush potatoes, “You and your dad have the same eating issue, so I’m getting up his dinner after plating for you and the rest” you said as you prepped the plates on a line, “Fun to know the only few things I have in common with my dad are issues” her sarcasm drew a smile on your face.

Her mean/sassy attitude was refreshing after a lot of her sunshine bullshit.

“Also your eyes, the way you hide your feelings from others, your cheeks, that lovely angelic happiness, the way you smile, your theatrics, the list is infinite” you winked at her, “You are his spitting image, the only thing you have from your mother is your hair, the height, and her temper” she groaned a little, “I got my singing from her”.

You hummed a no, “Ezekiel 28:12-13 say how beautiful lucifer was. God created him to be perfect in wisdom and beauty, a spectacle of flawlessness and gave him special capabilities in music and voice, the bible doesn’t lie” she looked at you in awe, “What? He’s proof of everything the darn book says” another blink.

You weren’t a believer until you saw Adam for the first time.

After bidding everyone a good night, you made your way to his room, tray in hand. Charlie warned you to be careful, she had heard some breaking sounds coming from his chambers, she was far too scared of his rage to interfere. Talking of her inner child saying be cautious to her.

"Your highness? You didn't attended dinner, so I brought it to you" you opened the door, the sight unnerved you.

There were rubber ducks that were burned, had their throats cut, were torn to pieces, or even turned to dust. The painting of his wife had claw marks on her face, there were feathers on the ground, his, and other smaller ones that didn't match his colors.

"I'm not hungry" your eyes caught sight of him, sat on the ‘your side of the bed’ facing the window. The light was not working, with the dim light of the city emanating from the window you could see his tattered hair and his wrinkled suit, also a few small drops of shiny golden blood on his arm.

"You have to eat, even if you’re not hungry, Charlie mentioned you didn’t ate much at lunch either” You didn't eat with the rest of the group, for the simple fact that due to your new anatomy you had to eat at least three dishes to be satisfied, and it made you a little embarrassed.

"Say my name" he whispered, his voice low and deeper than his usual, "Excuse me?" you pushed a few things off a table near you to set the tray down.

"It's always my lord or your highness, never my name, say it" his red stare chilled your blood, "Why is it so important?" you swallowed a huge lump to say that, "Then I'm not eating until you say it" he crossed his arms.

"You're being a child” in a matter of second he was inches away from your face, “And you secretive, since when? Have I gave you a reason to not say things to me?" his distorted voice thundered, flinching was so hard to avoid, "No" you bite your own tongue, "Then please, address me by my name" a few flames came out of his mouth.

"I don't negotiate with children throwing a tantrum" you walked around him, trying your best to shake off the sight of his angry face, printed in your mind.

"Why is it so hard to say?" He muttered, "And it's not a tantrum" you chuckled, "Sure it is" you accidentally stepped on a head of a former duck.

"You've still haven't answered, why is it so hard for you to say my name" you didn't had time to answer when his wings carried him to you again,  "Do you fear me?" Your visible flinching giving his demonic form made his eyes widen, immediately shifting back to his simple self.

"You do fear me, wow, I don't... this is new" he plopped against the bed, feeling sad and heavy. "You know? After being almost skin to skin with you, I thought there was a level of trust" your pride stung, "I do trust you" you were going to say that because he is stronger than you, there was some caution in your way of being, but he then said, "But you fear me" "Maybe? Maybe I just respect you" "Oh cut the crap".

"You do that, what the hell happened here?" With a heavy sigh he pointed to an open envelope on the other corner of the room, "Lilith wrote, I thought it was to let us know if she was coming back but there were paperwork" Taking out the first sheet you read divorce agreement, the mess made sense now.

"She could've told me this herself but NO, she sends a cherub to give me the papers already signed" Poor messenger, "She has been in heaven this whole time?" His horns erupted from his head, "I KNOW, RIGHT? Of all the places she could go to" noticing how you took a step back he put in his best efforts to relax again, or as much as possible.

"I already sign them, if I seal the envelope it will be sent back to heaven to processing" You walked to sat by his side, "You want to do this?" He looked up to your face, "I can't force her if she doesn't want to be with me" He waived his left hand, the envelope then flew out your hand to seal itself and in a second it disappeared with a bright white light.

"Give me your hand" he knew which one, so he did, you slid his ring off gently, then kissed his released finger, "Think about it as a chapter of a book, now you inevitably have to pass to the next page" your free hand left the ring on your thigh and went to clean a tear going down his eye.

"Otherwise how you're supposed to know what lies ahead?" He pressed his cheek against your hand, "It hurts" his broken voice sent a needle like pain on your heart, "Mourn this love, you tried your best".

He let out a broken sob, tears streaming down his face.

He remembered how happy he felt when he proposed to her and she said yes, how elated he felt when Charlie's birth took place, and all of his wife's love was true and present. Seven years of sleeping in a bed with an empty space that no longer had his presence or her scent. After the second year he didn't even use her anymore, the memory of when she was happy hurt him a lot.

Now, the cold he felt was erased, you were there to console him. He Intertwined his fingers with yours without taking your hand from his face.

"You've still haven't answered my question, why while being so close I feel you so far away?" You thought about it for a moment, "Sorry Luci, I initially wanted to keep you at arm’s length" he took the ring off your thigh, making it go away.

"I figured, it hurt" there was a slight flash of red in his eyes, "Sorry" he shook his head, standing up "Don't sweat it ducky" breaking the somber angsty moment, you laughed, "Why the laugh?" His smile returned to his face, "Ducky is also slang from my time, means that something is very good", he chuckled at that, he had meant it as a nickname.

"Speaking of very good things, Charlie spilled the beans of forgetting somebody's birthday, it was a few months ago" he had a sing-song tone in the word somebody,  "Oh fuck, tell me she's not putting up balloons" he laughed in your face as he added "And serpentines".

You groaned, falling onto the bed, "I'm in hell".

"Since we already missed it, but tomorrow there will be a celebration, and we are close to the witching hour, I wanted to give you something first" he walked to his side of the bed, taking a red box from under it, "You got me a gift?" He placed the box next near as you sat on the bed.

After taking the lid off, the little girl that lived off hurt and grief awoke from deep within you, a yellow duck plushie sat at the bottom of the box, huggable size.

"Go to bed! You lying, no way!" Your voice took a higher tone as you took the stuffed animal out of the box.

"A plushie, how did you knew?!" You hugged the animal, "You told me, that time you came back drunk" your happiness didn't go away buy you did halted for a second, "What else did I told you? I can be a huge blabbermouth" Indeed you were.

"Your contract with Charlie, and what is about to happen...to you" you took a deep breath, "Oh shit, well I really love this, thank you" what is done is done, you couldn't change the past.

"I'm glad, I thought I made it too fluffy" after he told you he made it for you, the purring started, Lucifer slid on the bed to hear you better, "Oh there's my reward" flushed you hid your face in the plushie, "It ain't that cute" in response he lightly pinched your face, "It's adorable".

"Thank you, Luci" one of his hands took yours, lightly rubbing his thumb on your skin, "Happy birthday Y/n, you don't look a day over 120" he winked, "You were off by twenty years" his bright eyes held so much pain and happiness at the same time, "You also told me to remind you of something" he pushed the plushie down, setting it aside, "Of what?".

In a blink his lips captured yours, gently making pressure as he moved, his hand went from the bed to your cheek. The surprise made you hesitate for a second, your shaky arms passed his shoulders, hugging him closer, making him smile on your lips.

It made you laugh how he took a bit of leverage on you by sitting on your thighs, straddling your hips.

"That" he teased, "Now that was familiar" your hands felt his back, admiring the position, "How much do you remember?" You remembered most things, but you liked to mess with him.

"Bits and bits" he lowered to your cheek, placing a chaste kiss, "Say my name" he whispered, "Is it a kink for you?"  You gasped, his kiss landed on your neck next, "Say it" he moved again, his eyes on yours as you said it, "Lucifer".

His name rolling down your mouth made him crazy. Kissing you again, he felt like making it a little more intense, he pressed your body against the bed towering over you, his tail taking hold of your thigh.

His tongue licked the rim of your lip, asking for permission, "My tongue feels like sandpaper, like a cat" You shook your head, he smiled while snapping his fingers, then your tongue was smooth as normal, "May I now?" You nodded, his lips attaching to yours, finding a small gap to introduce his forked tongue into your mouth.

With one hand he leveled himself over you, while the other snaked his way to the back of your head, pressing you against him.

A small whine called his attention, he wanted to check on you, but when he separated a bit you brought him back, pushing yourself upwards and hugging his back with your arms. He hummed in delight, seeing that he was corresponded.

He made noises of his own, sighing when you took gentle fistfuls of his golden locks into your hands, those sent electric pulses down your core.

After a while, you stopped, pressed your forehead against his.

"You make me so confused" You whispered,  "How so?" Though your hands on his shoulders, you could almost feel his heart beat, "I do feel scared, but in the middle of the day I think about coming back here, with you, and it excites me", and the thing that makes you scared is to lose the warmth again.

Giddy as he could feel, he smiled, "Well I do make a hell of a cuddle buddy". Laugh, that was all you could do. The lights on his room went on again, making the disaster look less worse than you thought.

"Now that you're single, I'm sure Angel can help you out if you would like to get out there again, the lady demons will eat you up with a smile" a direct stab to his heart, one that brushed off with a smile.

"I'm sure they would, but I'm pretty comfortable with you" there was no way he meant it, or was it? "While you look for a partner right?" He shook his head, "Stay...with me" why would he say that? Is already the second time he made that proposal.

"What if you get bored of me?" Worried, he noticed you were, "We sleep on separate beds until we miss each other"  it was his turn to have his hands on your face, brushing off strands of hair, "I'm damaged" he smiled, "So am I, we have so much in common" how he could be so happy when you were so hesitant?

"I have issues and quirks and weirdness" how he could be so loving with you? He just lost his wife forever maybe, "I have depression, I'm weird and have a lot of energy, I may exhaust you one day" the sad look he gave you despite his smile torn apart something deep within you, "You could never" pressing a kiss against his temple made him hum happily, "I don't know if I'm ready for a commitment" you confessed, specially having your heart divided.

"Then, may I court you?" imagine a light, but instead of coming off his body only, it enlightened the whole room with an angelic hue, that’s how exited (nervous), he was. "We could go out, get to know each other, maybe seal the deal if I convince you" he said ever so sly, adding a bit of seduction to the mix, his charm was irresistible, "Okay, but if Charlie asks, it was your idea, I really don't want my horns pulled off again".

"You had horns?" he touched your forehead to try to find any reminiscent of horns, he was confused because he didn’t even found a scar, his eyes flashed a red hue again for a second, then he understood, he was able to see the colorful rim of your seal that kept your real self, hidden away.

He stood up and moved away, his magic aiding him to clean the mess he had done. Afterwards you ordered him to eat his dinner, the one that was kept decently warm under the silver lid. He took a few glances off the food to see you hugging the stuffed animal close to your heart.

How to explain what he was seeing? You, your eyes so lit with a joy that had been taken from you and denied for so long. You held the little animal so close to your heart, your knuckles forcibly white, as if you were afraid that at any moment someone was going to take it away from you.

He saw a girl, the girl that maybe you once were. A happy little girl with a birthday gift that she promises to always use until she wears it out, and maybe love it even if it is in tatters.

"How are you liking the plushie?" he finished eating, making his way to you, "I think he will take your place tonight" he gasped, acting offended, "What? I'm better than a plushie, I come with hugs".

"This might sound weird, because it is, but tomorrow morning, would it be possible for me to brush your hair?" Lucifer couldn’t avoid blushing, his surprise alarming you a little, "It's something I saw some people do for others, I just, okay it's stupid" he smiled, "A couples thing" you nodded, closing your eyes as you saw his face getting closer and closer, until he placed a peck on your nose, "I would love to".

You left a few minutes to eat your portion of dinner, then when you returned, Lucifer was in the middle of the room, only in his brief, short black boxers that made his ass tight.

"Oh hey, I come in the wrong time" you laughed, closing the door and facing it as fast as lighting,  "You're too cute for my health" he laughed, his hoofed feet sounding closer and closer to you, "Look, nothing out of the ordinary" he turned you around, both hands on your hips, your back against the door.

Another set of scars making his sides look greyish, burned patches, by the look on your eyes he couldn’t make out if you wanted to ask about them, kill the person who did them, (not that you could really), or do the crying instead of him.

“Don't mind those” since his hands were already on your hips, he took on the opportunity to hug you, “You know? you asked me why I was bothered with things so earth bound" you bump your head against the door, "Me and my big mouth" his tail went around your leg.

"You should speak your mind more often, also, just so you know, I don’t want you to show me if you don’t want to, but I can see the spell surrounding you" ‘Again, I hate the way you see through me’ you thought, making the spell go away at will for the first time, because the other one was because of anger reasons.

"Alastor saw me like this, I couldn't tell if he was scared or disgusted" he chuckled, "For his own sake, he better not say a fucking insult your way" If he could purr he would, especially taking in your entire appearance at once. Broken brown horns, your wings dragging on the ground, the connection between your back and the bone was clearly loose and broken, you also had several spaces without fur, old brown marks that made his heart cry.

You decided to break the focus the king was on your skin, for two reasons the silence was giving you psychosis and at the rate he was going you would end up biting him, and not in a non-sexy way.  

"Hey Luci, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" he took his cheek off your stomach and frowned in surprise, "Uhm yes, why?", you tried not to laugh in anticipation giving the stupidity you were about to say, "Because your beauty is angelical" but the punchline made you lose it, literally laughing your ass off while he pinched his nose trying to hold his own chuckle.

The next morning, something that came to you like second nature was waking up next to Lucifer. You usually had him hugged your waist like those little parasitic fish that hang from the skin of sharks, except that he was one of the good little fish, or rather a little duck that has a very bad awakening.

If you have seen a Polish chicken and the crazy hairstyle they have, then you can get an idea of what Luci looked like in the mornings.

You'd wake him with a few gentle caresses on his cheek, then watch him join you in the bathroom, heavy eyelids and sharp teeth showing from how much he yawned. For him, having you comb his hair was another level of intimacy that went beyond sex, due to his height his head was at the height of your breasts, he was perfectly fine using you as a pillow while you fixed the pompadour that he liked to wear every day.

He enjoying himself while you were fighting with a lock of hair as proud as him that did not want to fall in line under the hairspray.

Both already dressed, just like the demon on the radio (but don't tell him) Lucifer left his bowtie untied just for you to fix it, the occasional brush strokes of your fingers against his neck getting to puff up his feathers.

Internally you wanted to die, or run away. Charlie is very good at making up for shit she screws up, and forgetting your birthday wasn't necessarily an action that would hurt you, to be honest, since you hadn't celebrated it in a long time, simply no one, not even you, remembered it.

Even the bar had balloons and serpentines, the amount of confetti that came out of the sides of the stairs when you came down was so much that you would be spitting out pieces of colorful paper from now until the anniversary of the deal between you and her.

"Happy belated birthday" here and there, there was even cake, but Nifty had baked it so for safety's sake you didn't take a bite of it, no one in fact. Everyone swore they saw something moving inside the cake.

You and Lucifer agreed to go out that night, Alastor seeing this couldn't help but feel like something was slipping through his fingers. Almost as if he had the deer on the edge of the nose of his rifle and his trigger jammed.

"You look so beautiful, dear, ready for a second part of the celebrations?" ever so harshly he tried to get you away from Lucifer as he could, “Actually, Bambi, she and I will be going out right now” If the king's mocking smile wasn't enough of a kick in the guts for Alastor, the nickname made his blood boil.

“Isn’t it unfair to snatch the birthday girl on her day?” Him and Luci were starting to het dangerously close, “Belated day” you tried to add, “Not that you knew either” lucifer smiled, the air getting thick. “Guys?” you tried again, no reaction, “Big bad Bambi is going to stop me from treating her to a nice evening?” Lucifer bared his fangs to the deer demon, but far from make him retreat, he encouraged him so, the dials in Alastor’s eyes turning a furious shade of red.

“I could offer her something better” the king snorted in response, “Voodoo doll making and killing don’t make much of a date, you know?” the bickering went on like that until Alastor pushed a limit, “How about you go beg your wife for some sympathy instead?” now before Lucifer could utter a single word you put yourself in between them.  

“Alastor, enough” he had to blink a few times to acknowledge you in the middle, “I think I have the right to spend my days however I want, do I not?” he growled a ‘Yes’, “Then we’ll have a drink in your studio once I’m back, how about it?” now it was that or making you angry enough to ignore him again, “Fine”.

------------------------------------------------------

Part 10

Stay tuned :3

#alastor x reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #radio demon #cursed cat alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor x lucifer #alastor fanart #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #radioapple #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #hazbin #hotel hazbin #hazbin hotel #alastor smut #alastor x reader smut #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin hotel smut #alastor fluff

[strwbrryeyes]

☼ bye ☼ (oikawa tooru x reader)

⟡ cw: she/her pronouns used, angst, break up, getting back together at end, idk im still bad at these, lmk if i miss anything else

⟡ a/n: i have my own interpretation of this song so it doesn't really follow the meaning behind it? idk but i still like it (even if i did write it poorly) but bear with me this song didn't have a lot to work with despite it being very catchy also rip a good third of this was just iwa #iwa4life

⟡ eternal sunshine masterlist

You and Oikawa had been dating since your third year of high school so about 4 years now and to say you had a wonderful yet disastrous relationship was an understatement. He was the perfect boyfriend, attentive, loving, caring, admirable- anything that comes to mind. Oikawa Tooru was picture perfect and so were you. At least 99% of the time. That 1% that was not perfect was whenever you would feel insecure or jealous of the girls that would constantly throw themselves at him. It’s a silly thing really, he did choose you over everyone else after all so you didn’t think you had anything to worry about and Oikawa thought so too so he never really reassured you and tried to take those insecurities away from you. Anytime you brought up how uncomfortable you felt with how touchy his fans were with him he would shrug it off and tell you to pay no mind to it but never actually address how you felt about it all.

There were countless times where you would lie awake at night thinking about if you were really just overreacting or if you were actually valid in the fear of losing Oikawa’s interest over time as he gains more fame and as more girls fall for him. You even confided in two of your best friends, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, and sure they were also best friends with Oikawa but over the last few years they have not been that close to Oikawa considering how much he traveled for volleyball, regardless though, they remained as neutral as they could. The pair of boys would reassure you and say that it’s just the result of the spotlight Oikawa has had on him since the beginning of high school. This reasoning made you feel better and you would shrug it off for as long as your mind would let you. It was a constant cycle and you were as used to it as you could be until one day when Iwaizumi knocked some sense into you.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

“Listen [name], as much as I cherish shittykawa as my best friend, I also cherish you just as much.” Iwaizumi says with a worried expression on his face as he slows down his pace as you two were on your weekly jog and after you didn’t respond for a few seconds, he stopped jogging all together and grabbed your wrist to make you face him. “Break up with him.” Iwaizumi said with all seriousness in his tone.

You had just told him about your most recent fangirl incident where a fangirl asked for a picture with Oikawa where he would kiss her cheek, this wasn’t an unusual request that was asked of him but that didn’t make you feel any better every time it happened even if you did simply roll your eyes at it and just shrugged it off every time. This time was different though. As Oikawa was going in for the kiss on the cheek, the girl turned her head so that their lips would collide. Of course the girl faked a panicked apology and said she wasn’t ready and just turned to ask him a question and of course Oikawa said it was okay in an all too calm manner causing the girl to give you a smug look when Oikawa turned around to tend to another fan. At that point though, you didn’t even bother bringing it up to Oikawa because you thought he would just dismiss it as usual.

“I was expecting you to find some way to defend him to be honest… I was kind of hoping you would actually…” you sigh as you sit down at a nearby bench with Iwaizumi sitting down next to you.

“Why would I defend him?”

You sigh while burying your face in your hands “I don’t know? Because you guys have been friends since you were childr-” “We’ve been friends for ages, [name]” Iwaizumi interrupts you “All three of us met each other at the same time back in grade school. Just because I’ve spent more time with Oikawa doesn’t mean I don’t care for you both equally and because I care for you two idiots so much…I think it is best for both of you to end things.” he continued as he forced you to face him once again.

“But Haji…he’s all I’ve known. Even before we started dating in our last year of high school… it has always been Tooru.” Your words begin to wobble as you feel a few tears fall down your face.

“Which is exactly why you guys need to at least take a break,” Iwaizumi begins as he wipes away a few tears. “You need time for yourself, to figure out what you want out of this relationship or any relationship. Hell, to figure out what you want for yourself, [name]. For the last few years you’ve been following Oikawa around while he plays volleyball and not once have I seen you be passionate about your own interests. You’ve made your life revolve around him ever since we graduated high school.” Iwaizumi’s tone starts to harden causing you to slowly stop crying “As for Oikawa, he just needs to get his head out of his ass and realize that there are other people in the world besides himself.” Iwaizumi finishes before standing up and holding out his hand to help you up that you accepted. And with that, you knew what you had to do.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

“Welcome back, darling!” Oikawa greets you with a kiss on the forehead as you walk into your shared apartment. “How was your jog with Iwa? What did you guys gossip about this time~” Oikawa wiggles his eyebrows as he waits for your response since he knew you both would always talk shit about people.

As you walked to the couch without saying a word, Oikawa followed you assuming you were tired and just wanted to sit down and catch your breath first but that assumption didn’t last long when you turned to look at him with a serious expression making him confused

“We need to break up, Tooru.” you finally say, causing all the  color drain from his face.

“What do you mean we need to break up? I thought everything was going great?” Oikawa sputters out while desperately grabbing your hand.

“Everything is great but there are just some things we need to think about if we want to continue with this relationship…” You start off before explaining all the things that have been troubling you along with the talk you had with Iwaizumi.

After a long talk that lasted hours and that included a lot of emotions, you and Oikawa came to an agreement to end things and to better yourselves- you with your confidence and insecurities and individuality and him with his consideration for other people and how he handles boundaries he and other people set. You also both talked about the possibility of maybe trying a relationship with each other  if you both still had love for each other later down the line.

With all that said and done, Iwaizumi came and helped you pack your things right after the break up just so neither you or Oikawa would back out of it and by afternoon the next day, you were moved out of the apartment you had known for the last few years and moved in with Hanamaki and Matsukawa who were more than glad to give you their spare room.

You were now excited to start a new part of life even if it would take a while to get over the grief of the relationship and even if it did take a while to stop crying every night because all you wanted to do was call Oikawa. You knew better than that though. This was the best decision or the both of you.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

Two years later, Oikawa’s fame in the volleyball community skyrocketed and he was doing what he loved and always dreamed of, while you were the happiest you’d been in what seems forever.

The last two years have taught you both a lot about yourselves and allowed the two of you to grow as people. You have grown more confident with yourself and have picked up new hobbies and have gained passion for a few things that you plan to turn into a full fledged career and you were excited for what more the future holds for you. As for Oikawa, he has become less self-focused and has set proper boundaries with his fangirls and even other people, overall has just gotten better at maintaining his relationships with his friends, family, and whoever else mattered to him. Except you.

You and Oikawa haven’t spoken to each other in a year and half but that doesn’t mean you guys didn’t think about each other all the time. Oikawa has never left your mind and you have never left his. Admiring each other from afar, you both have grown very proud of the person the other has become. You both have gotten so proud of each other that it's gotten to the point where it’s so bad that Iwaizumi, Makki, and Mattsun have to force you and Oikawa into the same room to finally talk and catch up so they wouldn’t be forced to listen to your praises for one another every time one of you so much as blinked.

So that’s how you ended up stuck in Iwaizumi’s room with the door blocked on the other side so neither you or Oikawa could escape.

“We’re not letting you out until you kiss!” Makki shouts from outside the room earning a smack on the head from Iwaizumi.

“Ignore him and just talk.” Mattsun says with a giggle before walking away with Makki leaving only Iwaizumo to guard the door.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, you finally gathered the courage to sit next to Oikawa who was sitting on the floor on the other side of the room. He watched you as you fiddled with your hands before grabbing them into their own as to calm you down since he always knew that was a sign of you being anxious. And in that moment, you hugged him like you were never letting him go and of course, he hugged you back with the same amount of love and care before you both started happy crying.

After a few more moments of emotional silence, you pulled away from each other and talked about everything you’ve been wanting to talk about for the last year and a half and it was like you never left each other’s side.

“I missed you, Tooru.”

“I missed you too, angel.”

Finally, after all this time, you both had talked things out and decided to try things out again. You loved Oikawa and Oikawa loved you and you would and will do everything you can to never be apart from each other ever again.

#oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa tooru angst #oikawa x reader angst #oikawa tooru x reader angst #oikawa x reader fluff #oikawa tooru x reader fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader fluff

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I believe Aang was right to end the war by sparing Ozai. But the only (imho) valid reason some people say he should have done it is because they wanted Aang to realize that pacifism is flawed.

I'm gonna disagree with you here, because a lot of the flaws fans talk about pacism and how ATLA in particular handles it as a concept are 99%:

1 - People being ignorant/racist and not knowing the difference between pacifist monks and "make love, not war" hippies.

2 - People being ignorant/racist and refusing to understand that there are different kinds of pacifism, even within the same cultures/people groups.

Aang is very clearly not the type of pacifist to go "You can NEVER react with ANY kind of violence towards someone else, even if it's to defend yourself/someone else" (which does exist, both IRL and in the show, just look at the owl spirit in "The Library").

We see him fight, and even be quite aggressive in said fights, in a lot of episodes. We also see he has no issues with invading the Fire Nation. More importantly, for the longest time the Avatar State was a result of him being pissed off enough at some kind of injustice that it makes him lose control, meaning he is very clearly affected by the horrors of war to the point of RAGE.

What makes him a pacifist is the way in which he doesn't WANT to lose control, doens't WANT go from aggressive to full on cruel, and, yes, wants to defeat his enemies, but not kill them.

And as I keep repeating, the show DOES make him question that last boundary he set for himself. He gets told by a past Avatar, who was also an air-nomad before anything, that, when there is such a large threat to everyone's life, including his own, he has to put aside his own spiritual needs and take a life - provided there isn't another option. But there was, so Aang took that, even after he decided that, yes, if there was no other way, he WOULD kill Ozai.

What people don't like is that Avatar, although questioning some types of pacifism, is far more interested in questioning the way people are WAY too eager to use violence to solve their issues, and, more importantly, expect someone else to get their hands bloody.

Fire Lord Sozin starts the war because he, according to himself at least, wants what's best for everyone and would like to share the Fire Nation's glory and great life with the other nations. He tries to do by invading foreign territories, killing his best friend, and commiting genocide. The fucker even has the dragons, an obvious Fire Nation symbol, to be hunted to extintion.

When Jet is angry at the Gaang for ruining his plan to free a village from the Fire Nation's control by blowing up a dam, Sokka asks "Who would be free? Everyone would be dead."

Zuko is banished because he spoke out against a Fire Nation higher-up's plan to use soldiers as fresh meat to bait the enemy into a more vulnerable position, thus assuring the nation's victory in that battle. He openly says "These men love and defend our nation, how can you betray them?"

When Zhao wants to kill the moon spirit, Iroh tries to stop him by pointing out that the Fire Nation needs the moon too (seriously, if it wasn't for Yue's sacrifice and Zhao's death, the Fire Nation would have had to create a word for "Big-ass wave that wrecks everything and kills people" like Japan did).

When Aang is deliberately trying to trigger the Avatar State because he doesn't want anyone else to die in the war, Katara, who had her life ruined by said war, is against it because while she opposes the Fire Nation, she cares about Aang and, in her own words, seeing him in so much pain and rage hurts her too. When Aang can't force himself to go nuclear, an Earth Kingdom ruler attacks Katara and makes both her and Aang, two very traumatized child soldiers, think he is going to kill her.

More importantly, when Ozai wants to burn down Earth Kingdom cities, he says "A new world will rise from the ashes, and I'll be supreme ruler of everything", to which Zuko concludes that, if they don't save the world before his dad takes over, there won't be a world to save.

And what does he say to Aang when he is about to kill him? "You're weak, just like your people. They didn't deserve to live in world, in my world."

Avatar does questions pacifism, and is critical of it on ocasion (again, watch "The Library"). But it's biggest theme is being critical of VIOLENCE, of resorting to it immediately without considering any other option and acting like it doesn't have long-lasting negative consequences, both to the person suffering it to the person inflicting it (see Azula's breakdown, Zuko's angry outburts only making him more miserable, Jeong Jeong growing to resent being a firebender, Zhao accidentally burning his own ships, etc)

The show is constantly highlighting that, yes, sacrifices need to be made for the greater good - but that CAN'T be normalized because it inevitably leads to a never-ending cicle of cruelty, as well as suffering to the one who has to do the dirty job (because lets not forget there's a big difference in how a soldier that is constantly in battle sees the war and how a king that just gives the orders but never goes into the actual combat sees the war).

The show embraces pacifism, despite knowing some versions of it are flawed, because the narratives themes are:

1 - EVERYONE is capable of great good and great evil

2 - No group has the right to impose it's own lifestyle onto others

3 - If everyone is either dead, mentally (and physically) scarred for life, or preparing to kill someone as revenge, then being killed by someone who wants to avenge that person, who will themselves be killed for revenge later, then the "greater good" you're sacrificing everything for doesn't actually exist because NO ONE will have a good life in a world that is stuck in the cicle of violence.

#pro aang #aang defense squad #aang deserved better #respect aang or die by my sword

[cer-rata]

An incomplete but very angry diatribe about the missed potential of the Star Sapphires

So back in the day Geoff Johns and co decided to open up the Green Lantern mythos and add some more flavor and expand the concept of sci-fi tech powered by elemental emotion to more than just willpower. Which yes, is not an emotion, we ignore it and move on.

Anyway we got some really cool stuff! A rage tyrant fueled by experiencing incredible injustice on a personal and cosmic scale, whose vendetta twisted him into something terrible. An avatar of greed who was never allowed to have anything, not freedom, not family, not safety, who takes and takes and takes to fill a void that can never be satisfied. A priest who lost everything but presses on through his unshakable hope that the future can and will be better. It's a lot of fun stuff!

So in this great creative re-imagining, they had to do something clever and fun with the idea of an all female corps powered by love right? They took the opportunity to move past the purely romantic, sexual idea of love and the obsessed femme fatale archetype, because they had the chance to really explore different types of affection now that there were a bunch of different avatars with different stories to pull from right?

Right?

Nope! The only Sapphires we ever learn about are heartbroken over a cursed romance like Carol, grieving a dead fiance like Miri Riam, forcibly mind controlled to be one like Fatality, or just Miss Bloss who...kind of said she wanted to join up? No clue what her deal is, as far as I'm aware that's never really explained. And then we just never learn about anyone else, and still haven't. The hell is "The Lost Sapphire"? No idea, we'll likely never know.

It's frustrating because not only is this a glaring example of the depth of plotlines offered to women in comics compared to their male counterparts, but also a wild lack of imagination. Love is one of the most complicated emotions we experience. Fear, anger, hope, all pretty easy to quickly define. Love is multifaceted, cultural, incredibly contextual and a factor in so many different kinds of relationship. Just thinking logically it should be much easier to flesh out the motivations of a group pulling from such a nuanced source of power, versus something as clear-cut as rage. But no, the red lanterns got so many varied reasons for their rage, the male ones especially: Bleez being the woman was of course given the SA narrative, which I don't think is inappropriate on its own, that's an incredibly valid reason to be angry, but as the ONLY truly prominent female Red Lantern it's like...c'mon guys. But still, at least she and Atrocitus had different reasons for becoming what they are, and that variation was played for plot and drama.

But there's not a single Star Sapphire that personally champions something other than romantic love. And before you shoot me, it is explicitly mentioned that they DO protect other forms of love, so there's no reason for them to all be sexy and obsessed with kissing people. There are no Sapphires that are driven by:

The love of their children and families, even in a tragic sense, like Atrocitus and Saint Walker and Larfleez are...

Their love of their people, or their culture. It would have been interesting if Fatality was inducted BECAUSE of her pain at losing her world, but no, they just...replaced her anger with lovey vibes and called it a day.

Their love for nature. Not everyone is social, but social love isn't the only way to strongly experience the emotion.

Their love for themselves. Where is the fun narcissistic ass who loves their own self image to the point of getting powers? It would have been a fun twist and a cool way to get another villainous Sapphire if you wanted to.

Their platonic love of ANYTHING really. Are ace/aro people just...not capable of love then? It doesn't mean anything to be willing to drive cross country to help a friend move just because they needed it and you care? No? You need to be fucking for it to count?

It's like...fascinating if you really think about it. In this vast fantasy universe full of alien races with wildly different perceptions and life cycles, and where the other corps have plenty of non-human, truly alien looking members, that the women's only love corps is full of only hot hot scantily clad baddies. Most love that people experience in their lives isn't even romantic! You will have far more experiences with friends and family members and even loving strangers than you will have with romantic partners.

Like the reason is clearly sexism, duh, but we know sexism is bad, that's obvious, what I really want to make clear is how much this blatant, unexplored sexism just completely desecrated the potential of the worldbuilding here.

From another angle even: Let's say this this WAS the sex and romance all the time corps. Let's say that you wanted to keep it all women. I hate the idea that women are capable of love in a way that men aren't, that's such a bad take and just regressive and unhelpful, but let's just play ball for a moment. They're not even hot? Their designs are such ridiculously narrow versions of feminine attractiveness that they're not even successful at really being mass appeal sexy. I haven't even reached the point of complaining about the fatphobia and criminal lack of different body types yet, I'm still just saying that from the standpoint of fantasy sexy it's not even good at being stereotypical offensive fantasy sexy. It's just boring! They're all so visually boring! You can be scantily clad and still have an interesting and coherent character design! But that is not what they gave these women! They actually redesigned the classic Star Sapphire costume and made it MORE sexist and boring:

Yeah it was cheesy but it was also cute and fun? The design is playful classic sci-fi girl and this is when she was still a dangerous unhinged villain. Its fun to look at and feels tonally coherent next to Green Lantern.

And then they just...

No actually, I will not explain this one, you have eyes.

And yeah they fixed her costume finally,

But! She's still stuck as Hal Jordan's romantic punching bag, and has not gotten to have any new adventures on her own.

So.

What I'm saying is it's a flop all around. 2/10, and only because despite everything Fatality STILL managed to serve. I actually think that all of the corps have been poorly used since blackest night, even the greens actually, but they never even gave the Sapphires a chance. They last showed up in...a WW annual I think? During the whole dark gods event, they needed Diana to help them fight the evil god of love, and there was a guy in the corp finally, and they talked about sisterhood and then we haven't heard a peep from them since. I think Carol might be due to get her ring back in the GL ongoing but she's not really been treated well so far, so I'm not hopeful for anything fresh and well reasoned.

So my lovely ladies (and that one unnamed guy), until they let you get it together it may be time to

#dc comics #comics meta #hal jordan #green lantern #star sapphire #carol ferris #fatality #atrocitus #larfleeze #saint walker #sexism #shut up cerata #dc editorial answer for your crimes

[creepy-friday]

Life as a female proxy

Notes: I only included the main 3 minions working under Slenderman and I might write more to include more residents!

Warnings: misogyny mentions,violence,a little suggestive in Brian's part

Masky gives the impression of being "the leader" altough there isn't one,he just likes to estabilish dominance to have the feeling that he's in control and that he's top shit.

He holds a grudge against you from the simple fact that you're a woman who has a high position over the mansion and the other creeps

He can be horribly misogynistic at times,arrogant and bossy,mostly due to the fact that all the women in his life left him(including his momma)

Clockwork would put him in his place really quick,Jane just ignores him and Nina avoids him like the plague.

He likes to show off to you in any way he can,he simply craves your validation and attention and is doing anything to get it one way or another, as long as he gets a reaction out of you it doesn't matter if it's negative or positive to him

He has closeted mommy issues

Tim's other side is different,whenever this soft human side comes out he's way more chill,often even tries to form a better relationship with you and understands if you ignore him. Sometimes he feels like he's losing his mind but it became a normal feeling to him and everyone in the manor at this point.

Tim snapping back to Masky or overlapping with him became the norm,that's why he takes his pills everywhere he goes

Hoodie/Brian differs a lot from his best friend. He respects you and actually listens to your opinions and plans,especially knowing how important your abilities are to the team

His personality can be described as a cold mentor during missions,he's quick and straight to the point,but since your humanity shows more often than his he grows soft on you,he won't admit it out loud tough

He looks out for you when no one else is,and altough he's in the wrong of thinking scenarios that wouldn't happen between the two of you,he's still secretly waiting for an opportunity for the both of you to get lonely,he can help with that

He's observing most of the time,whenever Toby has a panic attack and Masky bullies him for it he won't intervene until it gets bloody or the situation calls for it

Surprisingly Brian has the highest emotional intelligence out of the other proxies

Toby is a mess when it comes to you. At first he wanted to show off by being a big macho stupid boy,knowing you're kinda stuck with his ass so he wanted to profit off of it

Since all women except the ones from his family showed more disgust than interest in him,he became insecure,especially now with the scar on his face and how sickly he can look from time to time

Toby had crushes on girls he found pretty during missions but every chick rejected him whenever he had the balls to come to them

If you show him a grain of warmth and basic human respect his brain will automatically assume he has a chance with you

He already thinks he can have a chance with you tbh,he can be delusional to himself. He would be shooked tough if you ever tell him that you do indeed find him cute/likeable, a nice person like you with a freak like him would make a good joke,or so he thinks.

He snaps more often around you and that makes him even more anxious because of how he views you/his feelings towards you platonic or romantic,it's hard to make the difference

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta x reader #headcanons #tim wright #tim wright x reader #masky x reader #brian x reader #brian thomas #brian thomas x reader #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #toby x reader #y/n #female proxy #tobias erin rogers

[abhorsenkatiel]

Some John Gaius character analysis that I've been wanting to toss out into the void:

I see a lot of people who seem to characterize him as a kind of "diabolical evil mastermind" villian, who had a grand scheme to become the leader of a fascist space empire and carefully planned out all of his actions accordingly, and while it's a valid interpretation, it feels a little too straightforward to me.

What makes John Giaus an interesting character to me is that he is very much just a normal kind-of-shitty guy having very normal human problems. He's mourning the death of his loved ones, he's in way over his head and struggling to maintain the appearance of being in control, he made a huge mistake and doesn't want his friends to find out because he's afraid they'll be mad at him. He desperately wants everyone to think well of him at all times. The way he goes about handling these problems isn't good, but it is understandable. We've all wished for a magic solution to these kinds of problems at some point. The only thing different about John Gaius is that he has the power to give himself that magic solution.

The problem with John Giaus is not that he's especially bad or evil, but that he's a person with a disproportionate amount of power and influence. Any short-sighted selfish decision he makes has catastrophic consequences for all of humanity.

He has become the monster he was trying to fight. He is the reason why man should never become god. His tragedy is that he fucked around and found out, and now he has to deal with the consequences of every single one of his bad decisions for the rest of eternity.

It's more comforting to think that a fascist space empire could come about only after careful planning and masterful manipulation by an evil genius. It's terrifying to think that it could be the natural result of one kind-of-shitty guy having too much power. And it's even worse to wonder if your own human flaws, when magnified to such a degree, might also create horrors beyond our comprehension.

#the locked tomb #tlt meta #john gaius #jod #ive been mentally chewing on this for a very long time #its good to finally have it out there so i can think about other things lol