#because of being visibly autistic

[big-boah]

The only thing I have to say about the autism support needs & masking discourse:

There are people who haven't been talked to like a baby by a stranger in real life, and it shows.

#autism #high support needs #actually autistic #autism things #masking #tw infantilization #i am visibly autistic/disabled #and i know my fellow autistics and disabled friends who have higher support needs know what I'm talking about #I'm too tired to get involved #but a lot of friends have interesting and valid points #i know that a lot of folks are helped by things being broken down and That's fine #im that way sometimes too #I'm talking about others being condescending and assuming your needs without talking to you like anyone else #because of being visibly autistic

[herder-of-gnorbus]

being autistic with relatively high social awareness is just a constant stream of mortifying moments of social incompetence. Like I don't understand I'm doing/saying something inappropriate until I see other people's reactions and then it haunts my soul for eternity🫠

#not neo #hate it! #i promise im in my acceptance era but sometimes i need to vent! #i have only had my suspicions for two years and a diagnosis for less than one! #actually autistic #my friend whos also autistic has no social awarenes #like less than zero #idk whats better. getting a pass right away because ur autism is so visible or being relatively liked but not being your authentic self #tbh. not being yourself is not gr8 but it does get you ahead in life. i got an apartment by masking lol!

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

my mum's staying for the weekend pray for me

#i dont like people in my space and also shes mean to me #she hasnt been mean yet lets keep this up #shes only been here a couple hours though so #its my mum new step dad my brother and his new giirrllfrriiend #theyre 16 and have managed to stay together 2 months this is the longest relationship hes ever had lmfao #she has 3 nose peircings and red streaks in her hair shes cool #but im praying i dont need hide time #hide time is what i call having my social battery run out but in a painful autistic way because i get real irritable and mean #and usually i hide away by myself for a couple hours cause that fixes literally everything #but my mum wont allow that cause she doesnt get it #mum im autistic plz leave me alone #but she finds it rude #but also finds me rude when i get irritable because im not being allowed space #so uh #dont know what you want from me lady #ah yes to not be autistic #this isnt even a joke she hates it #she wants me to pretend im not and 'act normal' and basically not be disabled by my disability #she wants it to like not be visible to people she wants no one to know including her she doesnt like being reminded so 💀 #unfortunately for her i have a lovely little piece of paper from a doctor saying i do in fact have it so fuck you #anywayz lol #praying i dont need too much hide time 🙏🏻 because i will not get it #autism #so fun

[monadolaguz]

I am literally so mad that like, two of my coworkers consistently refer to Warp as my "girl". Like, how much more fucking obvious do I have to make it that I'm a huge fag???? Do I have to wear a shirt that says I AM A FAGGOT TRANNY on it to get it through their heads?

#like lets ignore the fact that i consistently they/them it at work (i have permission from it to do that) #i am literally so fucking faggy even at work #me and the other queer dining employees are constantly talking shit about how im getting comphetted by these two #i have literally tried to explain to the other chef on multiple occasions that i am a trans man and my fiance is nonbinary #but he seems to think i am just a really butch lesbian dating a girl????? #and the other problem coworker thinks im dating a trans girl apparently #i can't even correct them too loudly because thats ''inappropriate work conversation'' because it could open me up to harassment and bigotry #like im not already dealing with that on the daily by being a visibly transitioning trans man #ugh sorry for the tag ramble i am just so sick of these two coworkers #but shoutouts to the one very autistic coworker who started calling warp my ''other'' because he heard it was nonbinary from my work friend #warp really liked that one lol

[mars-ipan]

honestly i don’t really think any mental illnesses have been like “destigmatized”- not fully at least. i think the stigma has just changed from demonization to “that’s not a real problem get over it god”

#obviously demonization is more Actively Harmful #but to say things like depression and anxiety have been destigmatized is. incorrect i feel #yes we are not treated like we’re evil. which is for sure an improvement #nobody deserves to be treated like they’re evil #but our illnesses are now being dismissed. ‘oh everyone has that’ not like me #‘you’re just being lazy’ i wish that were true #like. ok hold on let me use an example bc i’m worried abt reading comprehension on this website #(not my followers i trust u guys but i act as if every post i make will get popular) #my brother is autistic. i have GAD. #my brother was diagnosed when he was 2. he’s faced a lot of bullying from both kids and adults and it sucks and he didn’t deserve it #because of all that bullying (especially as a kid) he’s rejecting his autism and focusing really hard on being as ‘normal’ as possible #i was diagnosed last year at 17. i’ve been having these issues my whole life (my mom and i both saw it) but my issues were dismissed #by all the other adults around me (save for family) because i wasn’t visibly struggling and i was doing well in school #it made me doubt my convictions for a long time. what if i’m wrong? #as such i didn’t seek a diagnosis for a long time until my anxiety had gotten to a point where i knew i couldn’t keep ignoring it #now that i have that diagnosis i’m able to wield it as a weapon. my struggles aren’t made up #they’re real. and they always have been. and i can’t just ‘calm down’ like you can. and that needs to be respected #so while i think one is more actively harmful (bullying and harassment lead to self-rejection and loathing) #the other is also harmful- just passively (constantly being dismissed leads to self-doubt and not asking for help) #also why are people angry about the idea of a mental illness being destigmatized? #one group freeing itself from oppression isn’t gonna immediately forget about the groups who helped them get there #if i’m one day able to get perfect accomodations for my anxiety and nobody looks at me like i’m dramatic when i talk about it #i’m not gonna suddenly stop advocating for mental health issues to be normalized #if anything i’ll argue HARDER. you learned to understand me now learn to understand my siblings #learn to understand those with bpd. with psychosis. the sociopaths. the narcissists. the systems #i’m not gonna act like i have it worse than people who are heavily stigmatized. i’m not gonna get attacked for stuttering at mcdonalds #but that doesn’t mean i have /no/ problems and it doesn’t mean i think i’m better than anyone else #i don’t get why people fight each other about this. it’s a good thing so long as we remember where we came from

[mangocaticecream]

its so hard liking characters that a majority of a fandom hates. cant go a day without seeing someone hating .. painful

#yea this is mostly about equius. why does everyone treat him like shit. maybe hes creepy and awkward but #its because hes fucking VISIBLY AUTISTIC #so i think people who hate equius becuz hes a weirdo are being ableist even if they dont realize it #anyway people who dont like equius just leave bro

[hartenlust]

this is also just partially because i got rsd this afternoon from the guy im seeing but also im right and i should get to kill

#op #literally the horror of communicating your desire #and also the horror of people not doing so #anyway yeah let me overshare about the rsd to focus on that it was so silly i walked with him to his work and he said goodbye a bit rushed #which . he was literally late for work and we were standing in front of the open door with us being very visible for the other employees #so makes super sense #but my brain's like no hihi he hates you #like he wasnt the one who invited me over #planning on initiating more physical contact next time i should communicate because he Is autistic but i dont think hes touch repulsed but #yknow communication consent etc #hanging out with him is very fun though #i feel a bit floundering sometimes but ill find my footing and its worth the effort to do so because like i said . its really fun #and hes hot as fuck #if you read this far . does anyone have any date ideas #we're going to bind books together & make . miku binders lol #but thats a bit of a project & more effort #i think just coming over again & bringing my laptop so we can watch hannib/al (filtered 4 tags) further but in the evening is also good #but if someone does have a date idea thats swagalicious #his couch sucks though like his apartment is super fancy because he hires it from like old people who live there #but are now fucked off to somewhere #but yeah its very fancy but the couch is also fancy which means its pretty comfortable but super bad for cuddling which didnt help #anyway im also scared he follows me on tumblr LMAO #if this sounds too like something you did this afternoon. dont let me know <3 #i rlly dont have date ideas i started with museum and now im blank #maybe a picnic somewhere. go to the beach #okay bye im gonna finish star/struck now

[wouldyoudoanythingforme]

fyi, if you refer to me as "low supports needs" or "less visibly autistic," i will block you.

just because i can communicate verbally doesn't mean I can function without help nor does it mean that my autism is not visibly present.

am i less visibly autistic or can you just not recognize the autism in me?

#i fucking HATE this term so much #as someone who cannot hold down a full time job or brush her teeth without reminders and needs to be forced to eat #as someone who screams and flails and wiggles and shakes as a stim #as someone who repeats words and trips over their sentences a lot #as someone who flunked out of university #as someone who defaulted on student loans and refuses to pay them back #as someone who was evicted for lack of payment #as someone who couldnt go to work and who quits her job after 6 months to a 1 year if im lucky #as someone who constantly says the wrong thing #as someone who relates everything back to my special interest (which is hard to do at the moment cause im mad at her) #am i actually not visibly autistic or can u not see the autism in me?????????? #i could go on and on and on and on actually #i wont but you get the fucking point #if we being honest all labels are ableist because we're all fucking autistic and we ALL need accomodations

[leesalchemybook]

2020-2021

GTA RP characters! characters of other roleplayers that I drew for them, from a server I used to play on.

the top 4 are characters from the group my main character was part of. the bottom two are also those characters but in a cute style. the middle one is commission done as part of a fundraiser for st jude streams someone from our rp server was hosting. i donated a commission as one of the auction items :3

#art #artists on tumblr #gta rp #gta v #gta 5 rp #grand theft auto #gta roleplay #drawing #digital art #digital artist #commission #ocs #not my ocs #but they are someone's #sometimes i really miss gta rp...but it all ended very badly and everhthing got toxic and gross on the server #and i'll forever be salty about basically being told i cant have a visibly autistic character #and cant do comedy rp because they decided only serious and sad rp all the time is allowed and my group had to do crime/shoot cops #because the cop character players were bored and wanted to be stars of the show. so mh group was taken from me and turned upside-down #thats the summary of it. i wrote a whole 35 page doc lmao #anyway this is about my art. look at it im proud of it. even if some of the players of these characters suck😒

[the-trans-dragon]

.

#sorenhoots #I have an idea roaming around in my brain #it feels like an overreaction because society reserves the word ‘trauma’ for visible stuff #like a physical injury or a traumatic event so bad that even society’s pressure to not show symptoms isn’t enough to cover it up #but like…. I am slowly allowing myself to expand my definition of trauma to include things that non-autistic people would scoff at #such as being exposed to a bad texture or trying a food that my autism doesn’t like or stuff like that #on one hand it’s like ‘oh my god don’t be dramatic. eating a chicken strip with a really chewy spot isn’t trauma’ which sounds like a #reasonable thing to say but like. as a young kid that happened to me and I still can’t eat chicken strips without being *significantly* #stressed about encountering the bad texture again. #i take COMFORT in the fact that- when I had shingles- the shingles pain was HORRIBLE and yet the texture of my bedsheet was WORSE #and I’m realizing I have some Things I’ve always been like… ‘triggered’ by. colors or patterns. I assumed they must be related to my #trauma that is undisputedly traumatic- I assumed those colors or patterns must have been involved #the same way I can’t stand a couple of flavors because they remind me of it #but maybe it’s just that checkered patterns bother my autism. maybe I don’t like blue because it just hurts my eyes. #have I unnecessarily tied Autism Sensory Pain to separate traumatic events as a way to explain them? #I don’t know. but I think the first step in digesting all of that is to allow myself to categories Bad Sensory Events as Traumatic #like I’m allowed to say shingles was traumatic. I panic anytime I think I feel the tingly sensation it started as #but I’m way more repulsed by certain textures. so why not describe them as trauma? #idk. one thing I don’t like is showers? and I started applying some of my PTSD work to them #such as getting familiar with smaller steps that are less sensory overwhelming #or changing the circumstances enough that my brain doesn’t go ‘wait this is a ShowerTM which has traumatized me in the past from sensory’ #and it absolutely helps. which is something to mull over at least

[chorus-communities]

i hate it here

#i wish i could leave. kk be faster at making that ve kincord challenge im gonna go insane in here #i feel so fucking STUPID this just reminds me of the same way i was bullied when i was visibly autistic #made fun of behind your back and being paranoid and knowing everyone hates you and thinks you have a stick up your ass #im just trying to do my job. im just trying to cultivate a better enviroment here #i just want people to stop breaking rules and saying really triggering shit for a joke #but i just feel mocked and laughed at and like a deer in headlights but the headlights are Always on and they are Howling in laughter at #everything i ever say. except for when they are silent #and then i have to delete all my messages and hop ena d pray that they leave me alone if i just delete and move on #i am a fucking moderator and a server co-owner i shouldnt be made to feel like thius #its the same in HHS. this is taking a toll on my mental health #i avoid talking in HHS because of this

[katya-goncharov]

when oh when will i finally watch a comedy show where the "annoying" character who the protagonist finds annoying and we're supposed to laugh at isn't just autistic coded :/

#literally there is SO much ableism in comedy and people don't even notice because it's the sneaky kind #and i'm not even exaggerating when i say that just about every comedy show i've watched has this #characters who are supposed to be relatable to laugh at because every viewer has known someone like that. #and the whole joke is how much the main characters dislike them #like. for example. i love d*rry girls but look at uncle colm and how he's portrayed. #literally the whole point of his character is that he's supposed to be so boring that people can't stand to be around him #just because of his very autistic traits #and then there are more obvious characters like sheldon in b*g bang theory #or jim in friday night d*nner #ugh i could think of SO many more examples but i'm not in the mood to rant. maybe one day i'll make a proper post about this #it just really annoys me how ingrained it is in comedy. and it did my self-esteem SO much damage to see when i was growing up #because i don't think that autistic traits should make you the butt of a joke. especially portraying neurotypical people as being #visibly repelled by them. when will people see how wrong that is?!!

[soul-kiitchen]

i think that if you cant take a joke about your religion or your sex or about something you enjoy or about anything that is an instrinsic part of you and you dont see the value in being able to laugh when you are in pain that there may never be hope for you to be happy

#so many people are stuck in their worlds #im disabled and queer and grew up im poverty and was a drug addict and was assaulted multiple times #i got gangstalked and harassed and jumped on the streets for beiny visibly autistic #i got kicked out of my own home at 17 for being queer and an occultist #but i can still fucking make jokes about myself and my experiences #because if i were to get mad and live in that hatred and anger for the rest of my life #i would be insufferable #im so sick of people not even trying

[fvckw4d]

Literally impossible to follow any blog about disability because there will always be some rancid ass post somewhere down the line about who has what worse and who is actually the most disabled and whether or not something counts as a visible disability or whatever the fuck. Every time there's arguing about that kind of shit no matter what Minority is doing it it's always the same, and I think about that one post that's like "I didn't get called slurs my whole life to be told I was passing."

#☠️ #Didn't get my ass kicked in school and then have to beat the shit out of anyone who looked at me funny to make it stop #To be told being autistic 'isnt a big deal' and 'youre not visibility autistic' tell that to the guy whose nose I broke #For calling me a retard because there was no other way to nip that shit in the bud before it actually got bad.

[gaysexforlosers]

i want to go home or else i will cry. i think

#percy posts stuff #me when. me when i thought i had friends at my school and theyre all just being mean to me now. because i started masking less around them #and i trusted them and then boom im like. a little more visibly autistic. and all of a sudden theyre just. insulting me for no reason #i think. i am going to cry #just like middle school lol i want to. idk even #i think im like. partially disassociated now. or getting there. #vent #anyway. i wwnt to go home and cry forevrr and never talk to anyone again so nobody will ever be mean to me !!

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I have had a really full and busy day today, but the highlight was:

So I'm sitting in the staff work area and one of my colleagues comes up to me. There's an open day this weekend, and so we need to plan an activity for the would-be students.

"Simple!" I say. "Let's get them to dissect some owl pellets. Hands on, fun, they get to play with skulls."

"Good idea!" she says. "But we'll need something even fancier for the open day in February. What can we do? Perhaps we can take some soil samples."

And as we're debating the photogenic merits of soil Vs dead mice...

Suddenly, a Dashing and Handsome Stranger (read: an autistic engineering lecturer) appears with a flourish (read: launches himself into a seat beside us while visibly and physically vibrating with excitement about his special interest being Useful) and asks "HELLO I'M SORRY DID YOU SAY SOIL BECAUSE I HAVE A RAMAN MICROSCOPE"

"Amazing!" declares my colleague. "...Who are you?"

"COME AND SEE IT!!!" he says, currently the human embodiment of the :D emoticon.

We went and saw it. It's an excellent microscope and his ten minute infodump about it was both spectacular and also extremely useful. We're going to use it to assess microplastics.

I have a new friend.

#tedious personal details