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adanseydivorce · 8 months

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Mark and Julian’s relationship makes me so insane the first time I read the books I don’t remember feeling that way about it? I think I payed most attention to Ty&Livvy + Ty&Jules + Livvy&Jules out of the dynamics so those stuck out most in my memory there are also shifts in what’s focused on most in LM vs Qoaad so that’s part of it but like… Mark and Julian is so funny and compelling to me because they do not understand each other at all! No scene encompasses how much Mark does not get Julian like the scene post whipping where Jules goes on that speal about how he wouldn’t want to live if Emma died and knows it’s not healthy but he might do what Malcolm did for Annabel if she did did and Mark is like “no my baby brother you are too good a person you would never ever do something like that ik you don’t mean any of it” had me in stitches ajdjdj as a reader who’s been in Jules’ head and knows that yes, he absolutely did mean all of that (codependent king love him for that <3). And then in LoS there’s a scene where Mark is tasked with watching the kids and minor things go wrong (well I mean someone does get injured. But for Shadowhunters that is still p minor) so he’s like “oh my god Julian would Never have let things go wrong like this he would know exactly what to do” bestie no… he wouldn’t have known better he would have just faked it till he made it and never let anyone know he was struggling to begin with lolz. That’s not even getting into the Emma thing which is just a whole cycle of them projecting their own feelings onto the other person Mark assuming Julian loves her platonically because he does and Julian assuming Mark’s would be in love with her because that’s normal existence to him usually I don’t care for set ups like that but this one is fun somehow.. and that scene after Emma and Jules argued and then fucked in that cottage so Jules comes back in a good mood and notices that Mark is constantly on edge around him because he’s accidentally been so snippy/cunty to him since the fake dating started and he’s like “oh have I been that bad?” And then tells Mark he’ll be cool now because he knows they weren’t really together Andjjd. also they’re both sooo bad at being teenage boys in completely different ways so the juxtaposition of their traumas is fun “I don’t understand how to be a teenage boy because I’ve been raised to be a “feral” (only using the word because they use it to describe Mark so many times in the books) creature and feel trapped by being among humans” vs “I don’t understand how to deal with teenage boy emotions or think through that aspect of life so I repress all of them while clinging to my responsible adult mask + using my political strategist wiles to get through life”. Idk why but I just really like their whole thing…

#this was in my drafts from a month ago time to post #tda #tsc #the dark artifices #julian blackthorn #mark blackthorn #julian and mark #s speaks #the blackthorns #the blackthorn family

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osachiyo · 5 months

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Obsessing over the idea of painting the BSD men's nails

Painting Dazai's a teal to match his bolo tie (he'd want to paint yours too (they look bad and he hates having to wait for them to dry, they're already smudged before you finish his other hand

Doing an entire skincare routine with Chuuya, he gets a nice cunty red (has to be bribed a bit, but he'd love it after)

Atsushi with a yellow or purple to match his eyes

Painting Kenjis with cow spots

Fukuzawa doesn't get it but he sees everyone else with painted nails and wants to join in (he gets a forest green to match his clothes <3)

Tachihara with a red or olive green (Red for HD Tachi and olive green for PM to match his coat)

Convincing Oda with the kids' help and it's a huge mess, but he gets a pretty burgundy

Fyodor getting a dark purple almost black (He hates it and needs so much convincing, gags every time he bites his nails and makes you take it off after a few days)

Nikolai gets a different color on each finger because he can't choose just one (it looks horrendous but he loves it)

Sigma with a white base and purple iridescent flakes (He'd love it and paint your nails in return, and unlike Dazai's they'd look absolutely perfect)

Bram knows what nail polish is and that it's pretty but??? Why do you want to paint them??? He lets you and Aya do it and they look gorgeous

Jouno cringes and shivers every time you put a new layer on (the polish is cold) so he makes you do something simple and you just do some pretty red french tips (To match his hair)

Tetcho just vibing and doesn't mind it, black with nice pink accents that match the color of plum blossoms for his ability name

Brainrotting so hard rn

NO WAIT I LITERALLY LOVE THIS???

dazai would LOVE to let you paint his nails (only if u let him paint urs in return) !! and choosing teal to match his bolo tie is adorable ! also you're so right about him being terrible at it tho, like he'd somehow manage to get the nail polish literally everywhere BUT your nails 🤦🏽‍♀️

THE SKINCARE ROUTINE WITH CHUUYA IS SO ACCURATE — imagine putting facemasks on each other while listening to girly pop music 🤭 and the fact that he has the money for the expensive skincare stuff 🥰 oh and he'd look SO good with a cunty red shade, his hands are so pretty ugh bye.

atsushi is so cute, i wanna squeeze him to death :( i think he'd totally match yellow nails !! (with maybe little cute tiger stickers on them? :)

ALSO IMAGINE AKUTAGAWA WITH BLACK NAILS??? *plays emo boy by ayesha erotica* he’d look so good 🫣 maybe add little red streaks or some skulls on them — adorable !!

personally, i’d put nail polish on fedya just to stop him from biting his nails. i can just imagine him forgetting about the painted nails and biting them out of instinct and immediately recoiling back from disgust after tasting the chemical lmao

NIKOLAIII YOURE SO RIGHT HE’D CHOOSE THE MOST TACKIEST CLOWNISH COLOURS 😭 and u can’t even be mad bc he looks so giggly and excited to try them on :( he’s such a little shit while ur painting them for him too — like man won’t stop squirming for 5 secs and eventually u have to yell “BITCH STAY STILL” and he’s like “hehe 😜”

i’d add more but your descriptions are so accurate idk what else to add 😭😭

#𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒... ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 #𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝... cait ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

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aermageddon · 7 months

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omg can you pls share your thoughts on hyuna's longer 'attitude' performance vid? the 'no' make up look?? the fact i dont hate how it sounds?? if i could somehow get this hyuna in a collab with height-of-their-power BEG's gain to do a collab it would killll

wait i was so confused THIS IS THE FULL THING??? i really thought we only had the teaser cause this was literally announced like two days ago 😭 but also why is this song so short is this like a pre release why is it not on spotify i have so may questions....

youtube

anyway. wow. a long time ago I coined the tag #alpha bitch of cuntyland to refer to hyuna and i firmly believe i was so right for that. there are very few performers in kpop men or women that can channel the energy and charisma hyuna can. she is very sexually aggressive in a non feminine way that reads to me as kinda queer adjacent - in a way she is the mirrored version of taemin.... and while her singing abilities are adequate at best she knows how to modulate her voice (which i admit can be an acquired taste for some) but she can emote REALLY well. whatever she wants to sell people WILL buy

plus i think she stands out from the rest because unlike your other run of the mill cunty female soloists like sunmi or hyolyn for example - hyuna does not adopt an image that appeals to the male gaze. she doesn't shy away from ugly and while very sexually charged her performance and visuals always have that "her pussy might actually have teeth" vibe you know? idk if i'm making sense but it's like. she is simply a very weird woman and she doesn't objectify herself for the camera or at least not in a way that you can expect men to watch her and fantasize about her. she exploits her sexuality for herself and for whoever is weird enough to catch her and resonate with it which i think is amazing and in a society as misogynistic as south korea - highly admirable.

re: this specific performance i really like the song it reminds me of an early 2010s azealia beat but i wish they'd gone further with it. i'm missing a punchy bassline. i also think it's horribly short and i'm confused by the rollout so i really hope she has a full comeback in the works

#asks #hyuna

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curoopeez · 7 months

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I'm watching fnaf through perfectly legal means, and I kinda want to liveblog it, but I also don't want to have to put a spoiler warning while doing it, so I'm just gonna talk under a readmore and put the whole thing in a single post

This is probably be the first blood already. I wonder if that's phone guy

Is it too early for someone to say it's bite of 87ing time and bite of 87 all over the place?

I wonder if they got actual children to draw the children's drawings

Holy shit an opening credits scene I haven't seen one of those since I took my dad to watch James Bond no time to die

Ooh that guy was reading a book on game theory I wonder if that's an easter egg to nod at MattPat

Oh that's Mike!

My mistake it's a book on Dream Theory. I think that was an easter egg too though, there was a theory that fnaf 4 was just a nightmare for a while

Well someone is in trouble

Ok the game Michael chased the job on purpose to hunt find his brother's soul, so this is already a pretty big departure from the source

I wonder if that Abby is gonna end up becoming puppet. It would be tragic, but better than the crying child

Is he trying to lucid dream?

Nope

I wonder if this Michael's dad is not gonna be the William Afton of the games

Wow this Jane is a massive bitch

Oh that Steve guy must be the new phone guy

Ngl I might have studied the games lore a little too intensely

Well that's omnious why was there a tape with his name on

Aw fuck the first jumpscare got me

No no no no get back to the room

This guy thinks he's Gregory to wander around and face the animatronics

There they are

Oh great it's still haunted haunted

Did that kid trip at the same time he did? Does this mean anything?

Matthew Patrick!!!!

HE SAID IT!

Oh what a traitor

Poor Doug free him he's trying very very hard to not do anything

Dude wake up you need to witness this

Oh the it's me in the mirror. And Foxy or whatever

Vanessa? What the heck is she doing here? Well as long as she stays away from bunnies ot should be fine

Vanessa tgat is not what you had just said but I'll forgive it because we're finally getting some animatronic action

Her lack of professionalism broke the animatronics. Freddy says if she's legally untouchable she's morally unfuckable

Wait if the place gets trashed out of his shift thats not his problem. Plus he had a witness of how things were when he left

Ok this deaths are pretty goofy but it's a pg13 movie so I guess they have to be

Chica and Bonnie were somehow so cunty when they looked at the camera after sending the cupcake like yas girlies

Wait I just remembered this is happening during the day. Are this animatronics opposite to the game? Peaceful at night and hostile during day?

Girl you went there to commit a crime don't follow the child

WhAs tHAt ThE BIte oF 87?!!!

Oh right Mike's family drama I almost forgot

Well at least it seems this Mike still likes cartoons

Is she... giving him a chance to speak? Maybe she's not as much of a cop as I thought

Oh so he was trying to repeat that dream

Maybe William was kidnapping kids to save the mom instead of the crying child (I forgot his name)

No do not take the child to the job you fool

Well the children are already possessing the animatronics so there must already be a Puppet

That fucking Baloon Boy again

No girl stop do not aproach animatronics

At least he understood it fast

Do not say that to a ghost you idiot

Awww this scene was cute.

Ooh the thick plotens

Abby is such a child "I've been talking with ghosts all this time, can I have some soup?"

Vanessa acts like she has genre awareness and she's trying really hard to keep it lighthearted

Shit don't tell me that's Circus Baby we do not need her in this story

Vanessa did it ever occur to you that people might do what you want if you just tell them whats going on

Idk who that pharmaceus farmastist doofrsmith doctor degree was but I'm pretty sure it was a cameo

You can't really say "they're gone" to a bunch of ghosts

Wow the ghosts are also a bunch of assholes

Did Abby stay in her room all day? She must be starving.

Oh no... look back Jane... oh well

Dude don't take an unnacompained child

Vanessa what are you doing here. This ain't cute anymore

Oh!

Dude stop rizzing up the exposition dump go do something

I wonder if we'll get beakless Chica. Just once. Just for me

No do not go in the ball pit it's not worth it

Springtrap!

Holy shit he's still alive inside the costume?

🥳officer down🥳

Oh this is a nice slow and painful death

I wonder if in the end we're gonna find out that Garret is Puppet. Unless that suit they tried to put Abby in was Puppet

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maggot-monger · 1 year

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Bestie I want to hear your thoughts today about adamnick

hehehehe yey <3 i'm about to talk too much

What made you ship it?

i just really fucking like the concept of vessels. i think it's so neat. i want to know so much about everybody who ever said yes and why they did that and what kind of experience they had and how they feel about it afterwards if they survived. i think they should be weird, i think they should feel barely human and have a hard time relating to people except each other anymore. nick is such a cornerstone for my understanding of vessels and angel-vessel dynamics and adam is such an interesting guy who has had so many things happen to him, and i was rotating them in my mind separately for a long time before eventually going "what if i rotated them in my mind together?" and now here we are.

i think i landed on them instead of nick/jimmy or whatever other options for a few reasons, one being that lucifer and michael are weird about each other so their temp vessels might as well also be weird about each other (albeit differently), another being that neither of them has living ties to the world anymore whereas jimmy does, and another being that the hints of their personalities seem compatible to me? like obviously we don't know a ton about either of them from canon (esp only s5 canon) but nick uses his two seconds of screen time to be DEEPLY sincere but also kind of an even-tempered sarcastic bitch, and adam uses his to be skeptical and cunty but also strongly motivated by a desire to be with the people who deserve his love and to do Right. those are similar enough that it made me feel like there could be some chemistry there that would manifest in, well, the dynamic i ended up giving them lol

as usual i'm on the fence about whether i ship them or if i don't ship them and just write about them fucking sometimes lol but i think what got me started on feeling like it is legitimately a ship to me (and not just two shells of guys who need to reconnect with their own bodies somehow) is that adam is dead but not anymore, and sarah is dead, and that's complicated. the mental image of adam lying in bed next to nick having a quiet flashback to being killed bloody in a way that is in some ways similar to how nick's wife was killed bloody did something to me. there is a lot of tension for adam about whether nick has room in his head to care about adam anymore after having loved and lost so spectacularly at least twice, and inevitably that becomes a question about "am i wife stand-in" — and my answer to that is generally, no, but kind of. and that's a bit ugly, but it's also hard not to think of it as shippy, when i consider it that way. What are your favorite things about the ship?

(this hinges on the fact that they are an extreme rarepair made up of characters i like a lot who have very little screen time who never met each other in canon so i can kind of do whatever i want 😂) i have an inexhaustible need to play with situations that are simultaneously grim, mundane, and gentle, and holy shit are they the perfect set of dudes to enact that. they're SO not the main characters; they get to make it up as they go or they can decide to just sit down on the ground and rot; it's all up to them; there's no pressure and they have no real reason to care about anything anymore, and yet.

(i also just. personally get a lot out of writing them. idk it's like...it's good for me to think about them as two facets of one being, not really understanding each other in a way that can always be put in words but that coordinate well, who hold each other up and help each other find little nice things to hold onto in a life that might feel aimless. good for my relationship with age as well, how people are different and the same at different ages) Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i think my most unpopular opinion about them is that they are shippable 😂

#spn #adamnick #replies #fandom-space-princess #ask games #the faceless

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ah-woo-ga · 3 months

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I was such an arsehole when I was younger.

The worst part is, I don’t know why. I bullied and was so horrid to the people who were the nicest. I messed with the people who were there for me, put em down, made em feel worthless.

All I want now, now I’m older and smarter and that version of me is almost 5 years dead. All I want now is to see those very same people, the ones who hate me for how I was then, even to this day.

I want to see them succeed. Succeed knowing I destroyed and changed them, for the worse.

I could apologise a million times, it’s never gonna be enough for my horrible, vile actions.

I just want to see Henna succeed. She deserved success and I destroyed part of her. I destroyed her kindness and compassion. Someone who was open, could talk about anything for hours, someone who actively cared about a lot of things.

I bullied and pushed and pretended until she gave up, and then when I started to realise after almost 3 years how much damage I was doing. It was too late, I’d destroyed not just our friendship but also our relationship, the relationships with those around me.

I craved control and power, and I tried anything to take it. I wanted to cause that damage. I wanted to see how far I could go knowing I could fix it at the time.

Turns out I couldn’t. Couldn’t fix it. Couldn’t change how I was acting and I got addicted to being angry and a wreck.

It’s only now I realise I hated my life, and those few good things I had, good friends, an amazing partner who really did love me.

I remember her trying to convince me to fly up to see her, how desperately, and how happily she would tell me “you could pay us back over time! I just want to see you.”

Imagine having someone willing to pay hundreds just to see you, to fly you across the world and see you because they really did love you.

I smoked weed heavily, and she’d worry. Ask me to stop, she’d say I need to quit because she genuinely worried what was happening in my head. To my health.

That’s someone who loves you.

But instead, here I am after waking up years later, still dreaming about my fuck ups years later.

It’s actually because of these events that I changed so much. I worked so hard to not be that person now. I was a dumb kid, 18-20. Literally a kid who knew better but it was like drugs, getting to lash out, getting to fuck my life up. Idk how to describe it, but it was genuinely so hard to just be nice.

I was addicted to this thought process that I’m constantly at war with people around me, I hated them for no reason because I believed they all hated me. I’d hate you as soon as I saw you.

I think somehow my brain just collapsed on itself one day. One day, randomly, I just started being a horrible person. I hated people forvtheir differences. For who they were, kind of for no reason.

Trans? I hate you. non-binary? I hated you more.

Gay? I’d bully you. Slightly Asian? I’d make racism jokes. Anything I’d turn into ammo to hurt you. Because, for some twisted reason, I found it funny to do that, as a joke to me.

But now? Now I work hard to put good back in the world. I hate hearing and seeing those same things I used to hurt others.

I refuse to talk down to others in any capacity. Not even as a joke because I don’t want to hurt anyone else like I hurt her.

I was a kid, I made mistakes, big huge crappy fuck ups. I was a kid. A kid who apparently was okay with hurting and destroying the few good relationships they had.

If I could turn back time, I’d fix everything. Change who I was and I’d have been kind. I’d have loved harder and been less of a jerk.

In my head, I destroyed that girl. That poor, amazing and kind girl got buried by a teenage me for fun and if I could I’d kill him for it.

So I did, I buried that bastard version of me and spent time making up for my Cuntiness because I wanted to respect that memory of the person I had, who I still care about.

I know full well I can’t take back what I did, so I am working towards what she wanted for me when she cared.

She wanted me to be kind. How do I know?

She asked me what happened to me when it started. I never gave her a straight answer when she asked why I was turning into that person.

So, I want to be like she wanted me to be: loving, kind, compassionate. Non-judgy and understanding and patient.

I truly believe right up until I cheated on her with her best friend, despite all my cuntiness. I believe she loved me still, even despite my horrible, disgusting, sick behaviour.

I believe she cared. She’d ask me to come see her, offer to pay when I was flat broke, she’d try and clean up my anxiety, which is partially what made me so messed up was that I was scared my whole life, and I didn’t want to be anymore. I thought making others scared, by being horrible was a fix. A fix for me, and it was for a time, but it destroyed me like a virus.

No, I shouldn’t blame my emotions. It was me, being weak and wanting to feel in control, I’ve never been more OUT of control in my life.

That’s why I spend my life now, every day, trying to love humans, others and myself healthily and with passion. Because nobody deserves to be treated like a dog like that.

She gave up so much to save me, tried so hard and I spat in henna’s face. So even to this day, years when I don’t think about it for months.

Every now and then I hope that she’s good, I think about who I am and what I did and I will never forget the horrors I put to that poor girl.

Apparently, me being this way is me being a pussy. No, I was extremely violent then, now I’m so anti-violence. I’m the opposite, now I just want to talk. Now, I just want to talk, apologise, express and figure out why I was the way I was because that behaviour didn’t just appear.

I was damaged, scared, in pain and weak both mentally and physically. I felt I had no place. I pushed that pain onto others who deserved only the best, like Henna and Stina.

People who cared and were there for me.

So this is for them, the people who tried when I wouldn’t.

I am genuinely thankful. I didn’t understand then, but I see now. I’m sorry it took years for me to become better, and fix myself. But I am infinitely better because of it.

It is unfair, I caused you both magnitudes of pain and upset. And now I get to be okay, so I hope you know that your sacrifice, even if you hate me, you gave me hope years after I threw it back at you.

A part of me wants you to know I might be a pussy if that’s what you want to call me, but you’d be proud.

You’d be so proud of me because although it’s too late to stop what I did and said to all of you. It was still those words and actions that I cast aside that pulled me back together, years later but still.

I truly hold love in my heart for you and all those I damaged along the way, you did not deserve the pain and hurt I gave you, and I would offer my apologies to you. But instead I offer the same words and help you offered to me:

I will always be here if you ever need me, even to shout at me for the pain and things that I did to you. I can’t make up for the pain I caused you, I can’t take it away. But I can make up for it, I can be there for you, I can stand beside you and tell you that despite how hard I tried to bring you down, hurt you, crush you into nothing. You have made me so proud, you have taught me so much from the past and I truly love you for saving me from myself.

I was an ignorant, horrid kid. this was my journey to becoming and understanding how to be better.

#my journey

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