#but also the way he accepts it and just wants more wants to enjoy this moment and ge everything he can

[anthemofgvf]

Groupie Love: Jake Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction

"you're in the bar, playing guitar, i'm trying not to let the crowd next to me. it's so hard sometimes with a star, when you have to share him with everybody." description: being jake’s groupie was heaven on earth, yet sinful in every desirable way. while the world reveled in his public, entrancing persona, you reveled in the boundaries of reality and fantasy intertwining in secrecy.

word count: 6.9k

warnings after cut…

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

warnings: good amount of plot, mentions of drinking, alcohol, smut (18+ minors dni), swearing, hardcore dom! jake, choking, spitting, praise/begging/degrading kink, rough sex, spanking, fingering, oral (male and fem! receiving), bit of fluff, some aftercare

disclaimer: this does not follow the real events of the starcatcher tour for the sake of the plot. thanks!

a/n: would also like to mention that yes, this IS based off of the Lana Del Rey song with the same title. As soon as I heard it, I immediately thought of Jake and writing a fic based off of it. If you haven't listened to the song, now is the perfect time to do so! hope you all enjoy :) <3

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

There was something so addictive about secrecy. To share such vulnerability with someone where no one's eyes could witness, but only you and another alone. To know each other by touch alone if every sense was stripped away, yet hiding the true reason why you could pick them apart in a crowd from that feeling. And while you two were friends with one another publicly, behind closed doors, you were both fucking like animals. There was no better way to describe your relationship with Jake. You were just one of his secrets, hidden in a closet, and you had accepted that.

You had met him after one of Greta Van Fleet's shows when their careers were just about to skyrocket and thank God you were able to catch him then. You hadn't really listened to their music before or even heard of them, but local concerts under 30 bucks as a fun night out with friends was always on the table. If it weren't for their small fanbase and lack of fame, you were positive you wouldn't have become Jake's personal groupie.

After hooking up with him in the venue's bathroom, twice, Jake simply couldn't have enough of you. And you, you were entranced by him and his sexual drive. You both also enjoyed each other's company in the short period of time you knew one another, so, you and he exchanged numbers and kept in contact. Whenever he was in town, you'd be next to him, and when he was gone, you were with someone else. More often than not, you two were spending time with one another purely for sex, but it was rare for you to leave immediately after. After all, Jake cared about you regardless of the label of your relationship with him, and you were enjoyable to be around.

There was no discussion of monogamy, so it was mutually decided that seeing other people was no issue. Sure, no one compared to the guitarist, but there was always someone to run down your time in the day when boredom struck, and you were unable to be at Jake's beckoning call. Even though Jake would always call you his, it was words that withheld no meaning. Only in moments where you and Jake were together alone did they obtain meaning, but you knew never to take him seriously.

Jealousy is a bitch, though, and it possessed you. It rotted you to your unchaste core. You could easily pretend it didn't bother you that other girls have had Jake the way you have or have even looked at him in that manner. Of course, you'd be lying to yourself if you said there wasn't a single sliver of selfishness towards him. How many girls Jake had been with next to you was a mysterious number, but you didn't choose to spend your time thinking about how many girls he's said the same things to as you. But, rather, feel empowered that there were fans in their crowds at shows that desperately wanted your place. Fans that screamed his name, made signs and t-shirts for him, dreamed of being more than just a fan in the crowd. That was something you had over them. That's what made you special. That's what gave you your title of a so-called 'groupie'.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

They had closed their most recent tour with a show in Nashville, and of course you were in attendance. Jake had even asked if you'd be there, knowing well enough that there was no way in hell you'd be skipping out on it, because you knew where the night would take you. Besides, you hadn't seen him in months. You hadn't been with him in months. You had grown a sense of longing for him after a short period of time away from the guitarist.

Before Greta Van Fleet had a larger fanbase, you were able to sit in the seats and get escorted backstage to Jake so you could watch as a fan. But, due to suspicious speculation amongst fans, and you and Jake wanting to continue the secrecy and keep the reputation of "just friends," you were granted a backstage pass and allowed to come into the arena or venue they'd be performing at before fans would arrive. Every place was different, so the execution of reaching him was always tweaked, but no matter what, you and him both knew you'd see one another after the show. You preferred to hang in the sound booth rather than backstage, anyways.

Rarely did you come early to be in attendance for soundcheck. Sure, there would be absolutely nothing wrong with it, but you always enjoyed watching him look for you amongst the fans, and his eyes light up in the slightest that had your heart stopping only for a second at the sign of recognition, feeling as though your breath had been taken from you and forcing your body to freeze. It never got old feeling his eyes latch onto you.

And you never got tired of watching him perform on stage. Now, with the new introduction of 'Mirador,' you got to watch him nearly twice as long. And, God, you never knew he could sing that well. That certainly was a turn on for you. Now your mind was wandering off to the thought of him singing in your ear.

You rarely tore your eyes from him while he was on stage, and he knew that he was hypnotic. He liked knowing that there were people who only cared to watch him and come to Greta Van Fleet's shows to be in his presence. Thrusting into his guitar as he spoke to himself and the crowd, hairs sticking to his cheeks with the accumulated sweat and still breathlessly giving his performance his all. You kept your eyes locked on his stomach and watched as the sweat beads dripped down his tender skin, and his hair whipping around and throwing his head back as he skillfully played on his instrument, exposing his Adam's apple to the fans that kept their eyes glued on his every move while he struck the next few chords of the song. You'd always convince yourself while swinging to the music that he was performing more theatrically for you, but you'd never been proven right nor wrong yet. He was entrancing to watch, and sometimes you found it unfathomable that you were a person in his life. A person who knew things that most didn't, a person who saw things most people didn't.

Your adrenaline always arose as soon as the four boys left the stage, and the lights illuminated the venue. Hearing different conversations from a multitude of fans that surrounded you, shuffling of feet and complaints of exhaustion. But there you were, hanging out in the sound booth waiting for security to come to your aid to escort you to backstage.

You wore a silver halter top that accentuated your chest, with a pair of velvet-blue flared leggings and converse. Thankfully, your shoes weren't shown due to the coverage of your pants, and it truly did not matter what clothes were on your body. They would be thrown on some floor in less than an hour, and that's all you cared about.

Eventually two men from Greta Van Fleet's team made their way to you once the venue was near empty from fans and began leading you backstage to the green room. You always loved that feeling in the pit of your stomach; it excitingly tumbled and twisted with each step closer you were to him. The awkward silence never faltered while the security guards guided you to backstage, but that gave you enough time to collect yourself before seeing Jake.

Your eyes were first met with Sam cracking open a beer, chatting with his girlfriend and keeping to themselves. When they saw you, they smiled without a word, and allowed you to keep moving. While you and Jake became "friends" the more you two saw each other, you had been brought around the band from time to time. More likely than not, it was for some sort of party, large gathering, or simply catching the boys after the show - uncommonly anything intimate. They knew what your purpose was, but they never questioned you. Either they simply didn't care, or they didn't want to ask questions they did not want answers to.

Danny was nowhere to be found, most likely in his dressing room, but the twins were walking into the green room, laughter erupting from Josh as he cracked his large, infamous smile that put his perfect teeth on display. His presence always soothed you when eyes seemed to be peering down your neck from your presence. Both were still in their stage attire, which was usual when you'd come so soon after the show had ended.

Josh had noticed you first, closing his mouth to a smirk that raised with the right corner of lips and pierced his cheek to reveal his dimple. Once Jake laid his eyes upon you, they were already following down your body, finally greeting you with a crack of a smile that told you his mind was already somewhere else.

"Y/n! It's so good to see you again," Josh greeted you with a tight hug, "nice seeing your face after so long." He patted your back and pulled away with a grin still plastered on his face.

"It has been long enough," you huffed a laugh. "Tour was good?" You flicked your eyes to Jake.

He gave you a slow, steady nod. "Was great. I'm sure you'd love to hear all about it, huh?"

"I wouldn't want anything else." You huffed a laugh, sticking your tongue in your cheek at his light sarcasm.

"I expect you'll be sticking around to celebrate the end of Starcatcher with us?" Josh said as he began to walk away. You followed his movements with your eyes as he walked over to a small fridge, turning to Jake who gave you a blank stare. Josh wasn't hinting at your intentions with Jake, but rather what would occur after-the-fact. He shrugged at you suggestively, but you couldn't depict what his choice was.

You chose to be safe. "We'll see, Josh," you directed your attention to him for a moment, "if I don't, I'll be sure to say goodbye to you before I head home."

He sauntered over to you with a beer in hand and patted your back with a soft smile. "Always a pleasure, y/n."

Leaving you and his twin alone, Jake ran his hand to your side and found the small of your back, pressing light enough to signal movement forward and follow him to his dressing room. You dared to look at him, to examine the light sheen of sweat that resided on his forehead that he forgot to wipe away once he exited the stage. And you knew he could feel your eyes lingering upon him, but he liked to be looked at. He liked the attention.

His dressing room door was already open, welcoming your entrance and waiting for your arrival. You eagerly stepped into the neatly decorated room and scanned the area for familiar artifacts of his scattered about: sunglasses, bracelets, necklaces, and his attire to be thrown on after his stage wear was stripped from his body.

He turned his back to you quickly and closed the door, locking it swiftly behind him. And once he turned around, he was wearing a softly cracked smile. It was always so intimidatingly perfect, how his eyes rested into a look that only told you that he was going to devour you.

"Barely said a word to me since I've arrived," you said innocently with your hands behind your back, "what's with the shyness, Jake?" You began to slip off your shoes as his eyes faltered from your own to do the same.

He took slow steps towards you to increase the intensity of your heartbeat in anticipation. He knew you craved the taste of his lips, the feeling of his hands on your figure. He always remembered what made your heart bang against your chest and your face flush into a pink hue.

His index finger cradled your jaw as he focused your eyes on him intently. "Was it so wrong of me to want a more private 'welcome home' from you?" His voice was coarse with the words slipping off his tongue smoothly like butter. Close to a whisper - the tone of intimacy.

You flicked your eyes to his coy smirk, then back to his dark brown eyes that peered at you so attentively. He was always so patient in these moments for an answer back.

"All this is, is private. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy the gesture, though." You wrapped your arms around his neck after motioning your pointer finger back and forth between the two of you, and in return, he pulled you into his chest and squeezed you against his body tightly.

And there he was, breathing softly down the side of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent, and feeling the figure and warmth of your body in an embrace. You buried your face into the crook of his neck that you made room for with your arm to feel the skin that rested there to remember how it feels to be so close to Jake once again.

"You're a good singer, Jake," you said lowly into his ear, "better than I had expected."

You felt him chuckle against you, but his laughter came out in small breaths. He was amused by your playful banter and humbling words that he knew were harmless.

He unwrapped himself from you but kept the close proximity between the both of you. His tongue darted out and ran across the middle of his bottom lip, cracking a coy grin as he looked down at you with half-hooded eyes. He was effortlessly seductive.

"You're lucky I like you, y/n." His hand raised to the side of your face as he slowly began to caress it, watching the motions of his fingers as they began from your temple and journeyed to your jaw. "Because if I hadn't known better, I'd think you were disrespecting me." He gave you a playful, lazy glare.

You gave him a small smile, allowing your fingers to focus on toying with the silver jewelry that hung dangerously low on his exposed skin.

"Well, you and I both know that you love to play that game." You said softly to yourself. Loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough to showcase your lack of desire for a response.

You took the opportunity to run your hands onto his chest, letting them reach to the waistband of his trousers, and looking to him innocently with a smile. And he smiled back at you softly, waiting patiently for you to be finished reveling in his presence and this moment.

You placed your hands onto his neck, thumbing at the skin and looking at him for direction, for initiation. So, he cupped your jaw and placed a gentle, longing kiss onto your lips. You practically melted into his mouth and encouraged his tongue to begin roaming around the inside of your mouth as you began to dance your own in his. The kiss grew deeper quickly, and you both remembered the addictive taste of each other. The swift routine of throwing each other clothes began, where you're tugging down Jake's pants to leave him in his boxers, and he's tossing off his cropped, black jacket to land onto the ground.

Your hands traveled into his damp hair and tugged him deeper into your lips as his fingers played at the waistband of your leggings. The muscles at your stomach began to tense up at the sensation of the pads of his fingers toying at the idea of diving down into your underwear and satisfying you.

His mouth pulled from yours for a moment to throw off your top, which you assisted him in doing, and allowed it to fall wherever it landed. As soon as he got the sight of your bare breasts, he encapsulated his mouth onto yours, and massaged one in his hand, while the other hand held its place at your waist.

You snaked your hands in between your glued bodies and cupped his hard cock with a light squeeze, eliciting a deep, rumbling groan from his throat and into your mouth.

"God, how I've missed you." He said into your mouth, tugging at your bottom lip. His lips began to travel to your neck, pressing rough, sloppy kisses onto the skin. You contemplated telling him how much you missed him, but you knew that he knew you did - you were like putty under his touch.

Your head titled back to allow Jake more access to your neck. One of his hands ditched your body and tugged at your hair to gain dominance, keeping your neck bent back as far as possible so he could taste your skin. His other hand traveled to the small of your back to keep you on your feet, and you swore you would've fallen to your knees if it weren't for Jake holding you up. With your eyes shut, you tuned into the feeling of his wet tongue trailing its way up your neck and to your jaw, then suckling down to your collarbone. His mouth always felt like a beautiful curse against your skin, while compelling, still so unbelievably relieving.

Your hands stuck onto his hair, tugging and pulling as his lips trapped your right nipple in his mouth. His tongue swirled circles around it, with his index and thumb massaging the other with the movements. Soft moans escaped your mouth, but you were sure to monitor any sound out of you.

His eyes peered up at you as he removed his mouth from your body and grabbed your face with his hands clasped at your jaw.

"Pants off, now." He instructed lowly, and while you slipped off your underwear with your velvet flares, he was throwing off his boxers and revealing his throbbing cock. You could hardly focus on anything other than him inside of you at this moment, with your head dizzy at the thought of his length filling you up to the hilt.

He never got sick of the sight of you naked, running his hands down your waist and to your hips while a deep sigh escaped his mouth. You watched his eyes focus in on your clit, with his thumb dancing around the area and causing your knees to grow weaker and weaker. Your hips bucked forward, and your motion only caused a light snicker to come from his mouth.

"Get on your fucking knees." He demanded as he pushed you down by your shoulder, although you were quick to follow his instructions and obey.

His length rested onto your left check, and his hand reached down to lift your chin to look up to him. He loved how submissive you looked before him. The way your eyes lit up to the sight of him bare in front of you, along with his devilish grin that captivated you.

He held your eyes with his own. "Good to know you're still such a good girl for me." That sentence had sent a shiver down your spine, with how intimidatingly dominant Jake was. There was something about his small, cracked smile, and the light squint in his eyes that always had you feeling shy and overexposed. Yet, you were always so comfortable being vulnerable around him.

He tapped at your jaw, which signaled for your mouth to open, and you allowed his thumb to travel onto your tongue, sliding the finger out and dragging your bottom lip down with the motion. You slid your hands over his thighs, kissing the head of his cock and slicing your tongue onto it. He groaned at the sensation and landed his hand on the back of your head in preparation.

And you grabbed his length, wrapping your lips around it and beginning to bob your head up and down at a slow pace. You took all of him for a moment to elicit a harsh groan - a response you craved hearing from Jake and pulled off his cock to purse your lips and spit onto his tip with your hand aiding you in coating him.

You immediately resumed bobbing your head up and down, while your hand at the base of him began working slowly with a twist of your wrist. He deeply sighed, looking down at you to see his cock disappear into your mouth. You were irresistible to him with the way you took him into your mouth so effortlessly.

"Fuck, just like that, y/n." He winced lightly as your tongue swirled around his tip. His mouth was slightly hung open as he admired the view of you below him. Hearing your name had never sounded better coming from someone's mouth.

The unoccupied hand of his landed at the side of your face with his thumb caressing at your cheek. He was being gentler with you than usual, which could only mean he intended to be rougher with you later on. You didn't mind the lack of degrading, though. It was good to soothe into things after being away from him for so long.

His breathing was deep, and the muscles at his stomach were tensed up as you quickened the pace of your mouth and hand. Your other hand massaged his balls lightly, which evoked a deep sigh from him. Hushed slurs drew from his lips as you worked your way up and down him, spit dribbling down your chin. The back of your throat fought against taking his whole length, but as long as he felt good, you could care less about your own pleasure. You loved to feel as though you belonged to him and were the only one making him feel this good.

His head was thrown back, while the hand that tousled with your hair on the back of your head had a harsher grip. It was as if he was innocently guiding you, but really, it was to steady himself as he cautiously bucked his hips into your movements. Jake had his bottom lip tucked behind his teeth, fighting against his own release so quickly.

He grabbed your hair and held it back for you, tugging you off of his cock and raising you up to your knees by the pad of his index finger resting under your chin.

"Think you deserve something in return, huh?" He said as his hands relaxed from their places and found your waist. The rhetorical question had you pressing your thighs tightly together with a whine trapped behind your closed mouth.

He was slow with his hands, letting them fall down to your hips, then scooping you off of the ground whilst you wrapped your legs around his waist. He carried you over to the long table that sat before a mirror, setting you down and immediately forcing your legs open for him. He was quick to step in between your legs and place a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on your lips as his fingers traveled down your stomach and to your heat.

His right hand rested at the inner of your thigh, his thumb at your pubic bone and mere inches from your clit. He rested his forehead upon yours and listened intently to your unsteady, choked breaths, while he traced his index fingers and middle up and down your pussy agonizingly slow. Your back arched into him with a whine, closing your thighs together cautiously in hopes his fingers would caress you. But instead, he forced your thighs back open, and removed his forehead from yours with enough space to just barely see the entirety of your face.

"Don't. Fucking. Move. Be a good girl for me, yeah?" He glared at you, practically spitting in your face at your small movements in a silent plea to have him touch you. But you nodded vigorously. "If you want me to touch you, you're going to have to beg for it. Don't act like you have forgotten how this works."

The way he was looking at you was sending butterflies into the pit of your stomach, and it was nearly overwhelming to you how lust-filled his eyes were.

You threw your head back, sliding your right hand onto his bicep and sighing heavily with shut eyes. "Jake," you whined out, "please."

"Please what, y/n?" He urged you further. He loved playing this game.

You brought your head back up and looked at him in mere agony, desperately saying, "please touch me."

A devilish smirk twisted onto his lips as he flicked his eyes down to your pussy, leaning down and pursing his lips to allow spit to dribble from his mouth and onto your folds. As soon as the spit hit your pussy, he was gathering it onto middle and ring finger and locking his eyes onto yours. He captivated your attention just to mimic the way your mouth fell open as his fingers eased themselves into your entrance. He even repeated your deep exhales as his fingers curled inside of you and began to pump in and out of your entrance. You couldn't contain your moans and allowed them to fall out of your mouth while Jake admired your breathless state.

His calloused fingers added an extra layer of sensation to what you were feeling. He began kissing at your neck, humming onto the skin and trailing his mouth to your ear.

"Feel good, y/n?" He asked in a pitiful, mocking tone. He knew the answer, yet he wanted to hear you say it. Just another thing he did to control you and what you said.

"Yes, yes Jake." You moaned. "Please, don't stop."

He tugged at your earlobe and said, "so we do remember our manners, hm?" in a teasing tone.

Your hand reached for the back of his head as he continued to suck at your neck and travel down to your jugular. Your other hand was gripped tightly against the edge of the table to keep yourself upright while Jake meticulously drew every sound possible from you by his touch. His tongue flattened against the skin and slid its way up to your jaw. You never realized how deeply you missed Jake until you were finally with him.

You had your eyes shut with furrowed brows as you allowed your head to hang back. Every movement Jake made with his fingers, his mouth, his hand that found its way to your breast and massaged it - you were in euphoria. Only did he make you feel this good, and you made it known with your lack of words and preferred usage of pleasured sounds.

Then your eyes were shooting open and your fingers gripping harder at Jake's hair as you felt his tongue circle at your clit. You looked down at the sight, seeing him kneeled down before you as he devoured at your pussy. He hummed in satisfaction of the taste of you - sweet like honey, and your mouth hung open in an "O" shape, unable to utter a sound. Finally, an exaggerated groan rolled off of your tongue, and your head was able to be thrown back with your head fuzzy in ecstasy.

Your hand that rested at the back of his head landed back onto the table, clenching and unclenching, which Jake was quick to notice. His hand immediately found yours and folded his fingers into your own, giving you something to squeeze onto you. The small note of intimacy made you crack a small smile, but quickly allowing it to fade away as Jake grasped harshly onto your hip to keep you in place and reminding you where your focus should be.

He lapped at your folds as he kept a steady pace in and out of your pussy while your thighs squeezed tightly around his head. He switched between sucking at your clit and allowing his tongue to do all the work. You were grinding your hips to the motions of his tongue, and while normally you were ridiculed by him with a slap at your thigh, he allowed it after being away from one another so long.

You were clenching around his fingers, which elicited a pleased hum from him. He could tell you were close to your release, and that's exactly where he wanted you to be before stripping it away from you so suddenly. The tightened knot in the pit of your stomach completely dissolving, not unraveling, always had you whining in annoyance.

He flattened his tongue once more and dragged it up your pussy, then pushed himself up by slapping his hands on the tops of your thighs and levering himself that way.

You encapsulated your mouth onto his by bringing him with your hands harshly slapping against his face. He groaned into your lips with satisfaction, while you wrapped your hand around his length and began stroking it. At some points in moments like these, you felt like you just barely had some sort of dominance over Jake, and he was submitting to the pleasure you were granting him. He found it harder to kiss you back, resting his forehead against your own with eyes squeezed shut. As if anything you had asked him to do, he would without hesitation. And his face even showed how resistless he had become under your touch, contorting and softening with his eyebrows pulled in and mouth parted open.

You kept your eyes open to see the way his face shifted emotions, watching him grow restless with your position of being in charge. He wrapped his hand around your own and stopped your motions, looking down at his cock and focusing on lining himself up with your entrance. You quickly propped one of your legs up onto the table to allow easier access for him and impatiently waited. As spit dribbled down from his pursed lips and onto his cock, with a few more strokes, he was easing himself into you and resting his forehead onto your shoulder.

"Fuck, y/n," he drew out in a long breath as he was fully rested inside of you. He was slow pulling himself out, but quick to slam into you.

He raised his head off of your shoulder and met your eyes, seeing yours with the lids of them resting halfway, mouth opened in an 'O' shape with eyebrows softened. You made it known to him that you were all his - and always will be, but in this moment, you were whatever you needed him to be. Through your lust-filled brain you imprinted the memory of how perfect Jake feels inside of you, how he knows exactly where his fingers need to dance onto your skin, or where his hands should rest. He was wickedly talented at the art of pleasure, and he knew what made your body tick. He was in tune with your body, which he oh-so adored, and wasn't going to go anywhere until he felt satisfied enough.

You had one hand sprawled behind your back onto the table and the other on Jake's shoulder, throwing your head back as he slammed into you and rattled the items that lay astray on the tabletop. If anything were to fall, neither of you paid mind to it. What mattered was the sensations that ran throughout your entire being, your heartbeat increasing with every second, and your body accumulating a sweat that began at your hairline.

His breaths were heavy, daring to look at you while his pace increased. The corner of his lips curled into a malicious smirk, forcing your lips onto his by pushing your head towards him after landing the back of his hand in your damp hair. His other hand was placed beside your thigh to keep him up, but every once and a while, it would travel to the outer of your thigh and squeeze tightly.

Your kiss shared with him was a sloppy mess, with both of you breathing into each other's mouth and unable to contain your moans from sputtering out from your lips. His tongue danced alongst your own, toying with it before resting his back in his mouth and pulling from your lips to kiss your cheek. He reached your ear with his lips, tugging at your earlobe, and allowing you to hear his restless, guttural groans that tore at your core with pleasure.

"You're all mine, you know that?" He groaned to you. "Your pussy is for my pleasure only - no one else's. You understand?" He continued his fast-paced thrusts while borderline whispering these words to you.

You swallowed harshly, breathing out a small, "yes," as you were unable to utter anything else. It was already a battle enough to keep yourself quiet to minimize the noise anyone in the green room could hear, but yet, they all knew why you were with Jake. And frankly, Jake didn't care about the noise. In fact, he encouraged your cries of ecstasy. He demanded it from you.

He wrapped his hand around your neck tightly, forcing you to look at him as he withheld your breath.

"Say you understand, y/n. Say that you understand that no one else can have you but I." He breathed, lessening his tight grip around your neck to allow you to speak for him.

"I understand, Jake," you said as your eyes rolled back from the way Jake was thrusting into you, "I'm all yours."

You didn't have to refocus your eyes on him to know he was smirking - you could just hear his lips curl. Now he was quickly pulling himself out of you, and in a swift motion, lifting you off from the table and barely giving you time to land on your feet before turning you around and bending you over. You were face to face with yourself, seeing how your makeup had run, and your lips were swollen and darker tinted than normal.

But then you saw him, and how he looked from behind you. His eyes landed on your ass, and in a near second, you saw his hand raise and swat against the skin. You jumped with a light whimper trapping itself behind your lips as you bit down on your bottom lip. His eyes met yours, and there he was, giving you the smallest hint of a smile, and forcefully pushing himself all the way inside of you.

One of his hands rested at your hip with a harsh grip, and the other was at your shoulder while he watched the movement of your ass each time it hit against his stomach. He was entranced by the way your body moved, how good it felt to be inside of you, how perfect you looked fully exposed to him.

He whispered something near incoherent, but you were able to pick it up.

"Good, good fucking girl. That's it, baby." He said as he kept his eyes locked on your rear. You watched his lips drop open, his hair moving with his motions and his eyebrows softening and furrowing with each sensation that drove through his body. He grabbed at your ass once more, giving you another swat to make sure he would leave his mark on you as if the bruises caused by his mouth weren't already stained onto your body.

You moaned his name, begging him not to stop as he was hitting the spot you craved to be caressed the most. You dared to reach your fingers down to your clit to reach your orgasm, but as your hand began to make its way there, Jake immediately caught on, and grabbed ahold of your hair and tugged you far back enough to where your back arched away from his chest.

"Greedy now, are we?" His hand from your hair released itself to forcefully grasp your throat with his pointer finger and thumb harshly pressed at your jaw to look towards him. You didn't know what to respond with, other than to rest your hands onto the edge of the table and allowing your knuckles to turn white.

You dared to hold eye contact with him, and he squeezed your cheeks with the intent of forcing your mouth open and spitting onto your tongue. You swallowed the substance without thought, looking at him as you raised one hand to hold onto the side of his face. And the grip he had onto your face wasn't harsh enough, because you felt your head turn forward and lean back with a loud moan as your orgasm grew closer, and the pads of his fingers rubbed vigorous circles onto your clit.

"Greedy little whore." He whispered into your ear, looking at you through the mirror. He watched the way your breasts bounced, how your body twitched, how you were nearly unresponsive with the amount of pleasure you were receiving. You truly were all his.

"Jake, please," you begged quietly. There were more words you wanted to say, but they had fizzled and left your mind, and you could only focus on the way Jake was pumping in and out of you at a quickened pace.

Strands of his hair began to stick to his cheeks, and his silver necklaces that he had on left a cold sting onto your back as they would barely graze the skin. Every single sense in your body had become heightened and intensified, along with your entire body tensing up that had your entire body running hot. All you could do was chase your release, to tune into the intoxicating sensation of Jake delivering as much pleasure to you as possible.

"God, I'm gonna cum." He warned as his thrusts became inconsistent, yet perfectly paced to reach his high. "Gonna cum with me?"

There was only one answer to that question, and he knew that. But hearing you say it helped send him over the edge. It helped him feel more in control of your orgasm. Hell, you were surprised your release hadn't overtaken you yet.

"Yes, Jake, just please, don't stop." You moaned.

And as you felt the tight knot unravel in your stomach, you began to fall forward with your legs trembling, and Jake coming to your aid by bracing his arm across your chest as he fucked you through your orgasm.

“That’s it darling,” he soothed, “there you go.”

His head fell forward as he finished inside of you, draining himself fully and leaving himself with a heaving chest. His arm fell from your chest and landed his hand on top of yours on the edge of the table, with the other hand teasing at your sensitive clit once more just to feel you twitch a final time around him.

After you nearly grabbed his wrist to move it away from the overstimulation, he landed his hand onto your waist, and stayed inside of you for a moment. His eyes found yours in the mirror, and he pressed a soft, long kiss onto your cheek.

"You okay?" He said to you.

"Yes, yes I'm okay," you giggled, "more than okay."

He chuckled at your statement. "Just making sure." He said as he looked at you.

His lips traveled onto your neck with soft, relaxed kisses, reaching to the end of your shoulder and stopping there as he pulled himself from you. You tried to turn around to face him, but as he saw your legs nearly give out, he came to wrap his hands around your waist, and keep you on your feet. If it weren't for the warm liquid dripping down onto the insides of your thighs, you would have forgotten that Jake had finished inside of you.

After seeing that animalistic side of him, you had nearly forgotten how caring he was, and how important it was to him to tend to you after practically using your body. And while one hand stayed at the small at your back, the other raised to your cheek, and his thumb softly swiped against it in a back-and-forth motion.

You two allowed each other to catch your breaths, keeping your eyes locked onto his and smiling at him softly in your hazed state.

"Do you want to stay after for a bit before you head off?" He said to you, finally having his breathing under control.

"Don't want me to stay over for the night, or are you already sick of me?" You said to him with a knowing grin.

He chuckled at your response and placed a soft kiss onto your lips. "Go on and get dressed and we'll head back to mine when you're ready to, alright?"

You nodded at him and began to clean yourself up, which he helped with, then aiding him, and getting dressed to make yourself presentable to walk out of the dressing room and accept the stares from the rest of the band and any of their team members who witnessed the sounds that erupted from Jake's dressing room.

But they all knew why you were there. After all, you were Jake's personal groupie. And you enjoyed the lifestyle. You enjoyed Jake, and he enjoyed you.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

taglist:

@hollyco @songbirds-sweet @ageofhearingloss @sacredjake @mountain-in-springtime @ignite-my-fire @gvfsstardust @jakesguitarsolo @gold-mines-melting @digitalcalamity @demolitionndann @lipstickitty @bluee07 @lexii-nv-c @joopsworld @gvfgal @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @writingcold @stardustcatcher @absolutely--mental @hippievanfleet @gretasfallingsky @dont-go-home-without-me @threadthatssacred @indigofallingsky @audgeppp @sinarainbows @brujamagik @bowievanfleet @laneygvf @idontlikelizards @josh-iamyour-mama @starshine-wagner @lyndz2names @jaketswine @jjwasneverhere @mulberrimouse @starcatcher-jake @lallisonl @jordie-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf

#greta van fleet #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #sam kiszka #jake gvf #josh gvf #sammy kiszka #sam gvf #jake kiszka fanfiction #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka oneshot #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka imagines #jake kiszka gvf #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka x you #jake kiszka x y/n #jake kiszka imagine #jacob thomas kiszka #jacob kiszka #mirador #jake kiszka greta van fleet #greta van fleet fanfiction #gretavanfleet #jake kiszka angst #greta van fleet fanfic

[cringe--is--dead]

Nekoma x Reader; manager!reader

You Won’t Be Alone

“You need to join a club— something. Anything!”

Your parents' concerns rang loud in your head. It wasn’t your fault you had to move schools in the beginning of your second year. You had friends, you had clubs and things you participated in. Now you had nothing. A few friendly classmates, sure, but that was all.

Clubs were almost entirely filled at this rate anyways, and anyone that was still accepting members meant you had to go meet new people who already formed their own groups. You’d be the outcast, more than you already felt like you were.

Idly, you kicked at a rock that was laying on the ground beneath your feet; you were trying to kill time, hoping to brainstorm some solution before you made your way home.

The art club? There were some mediums you were decent at, but you also saw some of the showcases from other students— safe to say that club had some artists that would most definitely be studied in the future.

What about the literature club? While you enjoyed reading, something about reading at school made the notion far less fun. Not to mention you had met the club leader earlier that month, and while nice, she was intimidating.

Grumbling to yourself, you stopped walking, leaning against one of the building's walls, watching birds fly overhead. They cawed at each other, and the group in the sky made you feel more alone.

Great, you mused, jealous of birds now.

Your thought process was interrupted, rather sharply, as you watched a ball come flying out of the building you had been leaning against. Lucky for you, you were nowhere near the door— the speed at which the ball hit the dirt would have definitely bruised you.

Pushing forward, you decided to be a decent person, picking the ball up and moving slowly to the open gym door. You hadn’t made a point to pay attention to any of the teams your school had, not out of disdain but mostly fear.

If you showed any interest your dad would definitely force you to partake in some way.

“Um,” You stopped at the entrance of the door, holding the ball tightly in your arms, watching as the people before you continued moving.

Volleyball.

One of the people, one of the coaches you supposed, noticed you, coming over to retrieve the ball.

“Thank you,” He spoke softly, smiling at you, his eyes crinkling behind his glasses, “They’ve been a bit overzealous lately.”

You nodded, handing the ball over, your eyes drifting back to those practicing.

You recognized one of them, some of them were in your year.

Fukanaga Shohei. You and he weren’t close by any means, but he was funny.

“They’re good, aren’t they?”

The coach's voice made you jump, cheeks flushing as you realized you had been staring.

“Oh— I’m sorry!” You turned, bowing in an apology, “I just…”

He smiled at you, “I’m coach Naoi.”

You introduced yourself, “Second year. I actually just transferred here a few weeks ago.”

“I hope the school’s been treating you well.”

You smiled, “No complaints yet.”

“Oi, Naoi!” The pair of you turned, the older coach having caught on to his assistant being distracted, “Care to invite your guest in?”

His shouting caused the team to look over, a lul in their practice as they took in the presence of an outsider. Your face felt like it was on fire.

“Oh— no! I’m so sorry! I was just returning a ball!”

Naoi chuckled, “One second,” He turned to you, eyebrow raising slightly, “You can come watch if you want.”

“I— I wouldn’t want to impose,” You crossed your arms, still feeling the gaze of the team on you.

“Are we getting a manager?” The question sounded more like a shout, and one of the members clutched his chest rather dramatically, “Take that Karasuno!”

“If you don’t scare her off with your shouting,” He either hadn’t heard the dig aimed at him or didn’t care.

Cautiously, you removed your sneakers, sock covered feet against the floor beneath you as you followed behind coach Naoi, keeping your gaze lowered.

“Well?” The older coach turned his attention back to his team, “Get on with it! Yamamoto, get up.”

You took a seat next to him, shoes laid across your lap, bag pressed close to your calves.

“Coach Nekomata,” He introduced himself to you, barely taking his attention from his team, “You join any clubs yet?”

“Oh, uh,” You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry, “No. Not yet. I haven’t found a good fit yet.”

“Lev, your receives still suck.”

“Yaku!”

You focused your attention forward, watching as the taller guy, one you somehow hadn’t noticed yet, got scolded, his shoulders drooping into himself.

“You have any interest in volleyball?”

You side eyed the man, his posture relaxed and unbothered, and you heard Naoi sigh from your other side.

“I… think it’s an interesting sport.”

“Oh?” He sounded amused, “Just interesting?”

You watched the balls fly around the court, people yelling out praises or playful insults at one another, “Yeah. Only ever seen it on TV a few times.”

“Hm,” He nodded, saying nothing more.

The three of you lapsed into silence, merely watching as the warmups switched, and you felt yourself losing tension in your body. Watching them was entertaining, the way they played and talked— they made it look fun.

They were all drenched in sweat, heavy breathing, some of their forearms looked red as did their knees. But they were smiling and laughing, though winded they may be.

“Yamamoto, the loudmouth, is right in his own way,” Coach Nekomata’s voice seemed to snap you back to reality, and you turned to look at him curiously, finding his attention already on you, “We could use a manager. Lord knows I could use the help with these hard heads.”

“Kenma, set it up!”

The one that had shouted when you came in was, once again, shouting. You didn’t know how to respond to the coach, so you turned, watching as the one with longer dyed hair set the ball, and the loudmouth, Yamamoto, went running forward.

He jumped, and in a split second, hit the ball over the net, the sound echoing in the gym, and you swore you felt the air from the ball move your hair.

“Woah,” You almost whispered the simple praise to yourself, unaware of the smug look on Coach Nekomata’s face, and the bemused one on Coach Naoi’s.

You licked your lips, turning away from where Yamamoto was singing his own praises, “Would I learn?”

You clarified, “If I… became a manager. I’d have to learn how volleyball works, first. Then how to actually be a good manager. I— I don’t have experience with either of those.”

Nekomata smiled at you, a kind look on his face, “Our team does one thing best above all else— connecting. If you become our manager, you wouldn’t be learning on your own, you won’t be alone. This I promise.”

You sighed, looking back towards the court. They seemed to be taking a small break, the unnamed members talking and joking, the one who had set the ball was getting his hair messed with, though he looked annoyed, he didn’t move away to stop it.

You won’t be alone.

That sounded… nice.

“How do I apply?”

#haikyuu x reader #nekoma manager reader #nekoma x reader #manager!reader #nekoma x manager!reader #haikyuu x manager!reader #haikyuu #nekoma

[vocallywritten]

People who think Lord Debling was the better choice for Penelope are just Portia Featherington alt accounts. Colin wasn't the only one putting up a front this season. Maybe people don't pick up on it as easily because Penelope also has the Whistledown thing going on as a more obvious through line to the overall theme of the season.

But Penelope, from the moment she decides to make herself over and find a husband, is trying to be someone she is not just as much as Colin is.

Penelope is a romantic. She is starved for love in every aspect of her life, especially after her falling out with Eloise.

She says so herself to Debling that she enjoys reading romances because they give her hope for a better life. All Penelope truly wants is love, and that desire is also the greatest source of pain for her because she does not believe she will ever have it. That she is even worthy of it.

So yes, Lord Debling was kind, and even charming. He had money, and a title, and in many ways he was the smartest match Penelope could ever hope to make.

But he did not love her, and explicitly told her that he was unsure he ever could.

Penelope spent the first part of the season talking a big game about finding a smart match. A match that would get her out of her mother's house and also give her the freedom she required to conduct her Whistledown business. Her needs are utilitarian and she believes she cannot be too picky and probably thought herself capable of marrying the first halfway decent man who showed an interest.

Only when she is confronted with the reality of this "ideal match", her first instinct is not to feel pleased with her success. If she had truly wanted to marry Lord Debling, she would not have been so hesitant when he asked her mother's permission. Instead, Penelope tells her mother that she "hasn't told him yes yet." That she is unsure if she WANTS to say yes.

Because when Lord Debling was discussing the possibility of marriage with her, Penelope only had eyes for Colin. And that, dear reader, is because Penelope is still a romantic. She cannot help it. And that is why she is so hesitant about Lord Debling's possible proposal.

Penelope is not the extreme pragmatist her mother is and while her mother sees the title, the money, and above all the security that marrying Debling will bring, she is blind to the truth of the situation. That the life Debling offers would be empty and lonely to a woman who longs for love and connection.

To say that Penelope should have chosen Debling is to fundamentally misunderstand her character. For all that she is ambitious and, yes, even pragmatic in her own way, she is also an idealist. She wants to believe in love, in the possibility of a better future. If she were to accept Debling's proposal, she would end up even more alone than before, even more cut off from the love she so desperately wants.

I have a theory that Penelope was never going to actually accept Debling's proposal after he admitted that he would probably never grow to love her. I think that was the final nail in the coffin for her. I'm pretty sure that the only thing that made her run after him to try to fix things was the fact that she was so annoyed with Colin that she was motivated mostly by spite. And even if she did accept him, I think she would have experienced some pretty severe cold feet very quickly.

Because, again, PENELOPE IS A ROMANTIC. She longs for love and romance. I've seen some people act like Penelope should have accepted Debling because she 1) should have been grateful to be noticed at all (ew) 2) she should have been smart and gone with the "smart match" 3) they hate Colin. These people are just Portia Featherington in disguise, I swear. Not a romantic bone in their body. This show is a ROMANCE not a gritty period drama. Choosing your heart over logic, or over what society tells you to do is a staple of the genre.

#bridgerton #polin #penelope x colin #penelope featherington #bridgerton season three #colin bridgerton #lord debling #nicola coughlan #luke newton #romance as a genre is for the hopeless romantics and the foolish idealists #while a more cynical story might punish the character who is lead by their emotions romance stories REWARD them #they tell you “love is worth every risk. every foolish crazy decision.” #“love is worth making yourself a fool over.” #and they are RIGHT

[pluviowriting]

Study Break

18+ || MDNI || Content Warnings: SMUT, characters aged up, established relationship, language, praise kink, thigh riding, lil bit of breeding kink, semi public sex I think that covers it all

Word Count: 1480 exactly

Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

A/N: Happy Thirsty Thursday :) This was written in one sitting and not edited at all. I read through it once before going “yeah post it”

~~~

MC was ready for summer. Summer meant NEWTs were done and she could take a month or so off to celebrate and relax before diving headfirst into her next adventure. She had spent the last two summers under an apprenticeship with Fatima Lawang, making the trip from Feldcroft to Keenbridge every day to study and learn business from someone she truly looked up to. She would be opening a small apothecary in the hamlet she now called home. It was a wonderful location, since she knew Bernard really stuck to selling beast byproducts and plants. She wouldn’t be encroaching on his market, and she could also source ingredients from him. It was going to be, thankfully, a mutually beneficial existence.

She had moved to Feldcroft at the end of their fifth year. Sebastian had nowhere else to live over the summer months, she really had nowhere to live over that time, and neither wanted to be alone. So, when that first year had come to an end, she just followed him home. He had started courting her about halfway through that summer. She had accepted and they had practically lived together like a married couple ever since.

Before she could get to the summer and enjoy her newfound freedom with the love of her life, she had to pass the NEWTs. In order to get her apothecary license, she needed to score high in Potions and Herbology at the very least, but that wasn’t going to be enough for her. The reputation of saving the wizarding world at fifteen years old meant she was expected to do exceedingly well on all of her NEWTs, and she was determined to do so.

She had taken up residence in one of the more secluded corners of the library. It always ensured that MC wouldn’t have to share the table and she could have all of her books open and spread out. Only a select few people knew of where she hid out to study, which limited the interruptions. Except in the case of her boyfriend.

She didn’t know how long she had really been studying when Sebastian finally sat beside her. She didn’t even look up from rereading a paragraph she had already read ten times before. She still retained nothing.

“MC. Love, you missed lunch. I brought you some food.”

“Thanks Bash. I’ll eat it in a minute. I just need to understand what this page is saying.”

He set the plate down and moved the book.

“Considering it’s well past lunch and I didn’t even see you at breakfast, I think you can’t understand the page because you’re hungry. Eat and take a break.”

MC glared at him, debating whether or not it would be worth the argument since they were both the most stubborn person the other had met. That train of thought was interrupted by a rather loud growl as she was betrayed by her own stomach. She ate the food that he brought her without further complaint.

While she ate, Sebastian sat beside her and scanned over the tomes she had laid out on the table. She was paying more attention to him instead. The way that his eyebrows furrowed when he was focused on a paragraph in one of the books and the way his lips moved silently with the words. She focused on his hands as he turned the page and the way that the muscles in his exposed forearms flexed even with that small movement. She could feel herself growing hotter by the second, and it led to the realization that she and Sebastian hadn’t been intimate in nearly three weeks. It could’ve been a record, honestly. Even before he was courting her, after they took each other’s virginities that first summer in Feldcroft, they hardly went more than a couple days without going after each other. The joys of two students living with no chaperone.

“I can feel you staring holes in the side of my head, MC. Have you finished eating? Do you want me to read to you to see if that helps you understand the material better?”

The way he cared for her had also always been one of her favorite things. She had never been good at keeping herself in check, but Sebastian always did his best to make sure she didn’t overextend herself.

“I—uh it’s mostly gone. But I was thinking about something else.”

“Were you? Care to share with the class, darling?”

“I could use your help. Just in a different way.”

He looked at her curiously for a moment before it seemed he registered the look on her face and his expression grew more heated.

“Have you been thinking too much? Do you want to turn that brilliant brain off for a minute?”

His tone was condescending, and while it would normally agitate her when he spoke to her that way, this time it felt different. She nodded slowly, her eyes not leaving his own while a smirk grew on his face.

“Do you remember over the winter holiday, you told me about how one of the girls had talked about grinding on a pillow when she didn’t want to do things herself and I made you do it for me? We don’t have a pillow here, but I bet I could have you grinding on something else and feeling as good as you did that night. Come sit on my thigh, darling. We’ll see if you can ride me like you rode that pillow. Maybe you’ll make just as big a mess on me.”

As she settled in on his lap, she was grateful she had opted for a skirt instead of one of the few outfits she had with pants. The back of the skirt that draped over her boyfriend’s knee would hopefully help hide what they were doing if anyone were to stumble back and find them.

She gave an experimental roll of her hips, and she felt Sebastian’s thigh flex beneath her. MC let out a shaky exhale as she did it again. The thin fabric of her knickers and the coarse fabric of Sebastian’s quidditch pants provided the most delicious friction to her clit. Sebastian’s large hands settled on her hips beneath her skirt, the feel of his fingertips on her bare skin lighting her nerves on fire.

“Make sure you stay quiet. Don’t need anyone hearing how I’m helping you study,” his voice purred, the effect going straight to her core.

As she grew more confident, her pace picked up. Sebastian helped, tensing his thigh and slightly pushing her hips down when she rolled them to make sure that the bundle of nerves she was focused on didn’t go a second without feeling something.

“That’s it, darling. Use me. Grind that needy little cunt on my thigh.”

MC gasped softly, biting her lip as the familiar tension in her lower stomach began to build. She was able to keep her volume down, but she couldn’t keep herself from whining and whimpering completely.

“Bash. Oh gods. I-I’m~”

“Keep going, darling. I can feel how bad you need it. That pretty pussy is drooling through my trousers. You’re making such a mess for me, my good girl. Go on. Cum on my thigh. You can do it, honey.”

With his encouragement and permission, she felt herself giving into the pleasure as her orgasm hit. Her hips stuttered, but Sebastian kept her in rhythm. She registered his low moan too, her chest heaving as she started to come down from her high.

MC’s hand moved to where she assumed she’d find Sebastian’s bulge, hard and aching for the attention she wanted to give it. Instead, her hand landed on a warm, wet patch on the front of his trousers.

“Sebastian Sallow,” she spoke his name low and soft, her frazzled brain slowly putting the pieces together as she looked up at him. “You came in your pants. Untouched. Because of me?”

The boy’s freckled cheeks flooded with color as he blushed. Her normally suave boyfriend seemed embarrassed by this turn of events.

“I may have. You didn’t see yourself. Or hear yourself for that matter. I didn’t realize it was going to happen until it just…happened.”

“That is one of the hottest things you’ve ever done. If we can sneak down to the library floo flame without getting caught, we can make it to the ROR. And I can give you something else to cum in.”

He let out a dark chuckle, looking at her with blown pupils.

“You think this is a game, MC? Hmm? Merlin, I’m gonna get you so fucking pregnant.”

Her eyes widened, and she couldn’t stop the giggle that fell from her lips. She was still giddy as she pulled him down the stairs and towards the floo flame on the back wall.

Thank Merlin for study breaks.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy fic #sebastian x mc #sebastian sallow smut #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow fic #sebastian sallow x mc

[zehiiro]

What Daryl and Carol mean to each other

And why France may have been the best thing for Caryl

This idea has been sitting in my drafts for about six months, but now that we're only 9 days away from the Tribeca premiere, I finally decided to flesh it out and post it.

This post can be taken as part two of my previous one on what Carol means to Daryl [here], but it can also be read independently. And just as a disclaimer, this is just my understanding and opinions on Caryl and all the scenes I mention below. So grab a nice cup of your choice beverage and get comfy 'cause I had a lot to say, and this turned out to be a long one.

I want to start by pointing out some moments where Daryl and Carol got to enjoy each other's company and talk in peace.

Yup, that's all of them... a long list of 4...

I didn't realise how rare these moments were until I started looking through season after season. Don't get me wrong; I know there are countless sweet and meaningful moments that they've shared both on screen and off screen (implied), but very few that we've seen without heartbreak, grief, or danger looming over them. And even the moments in the gifs above were still sandwiched between disasters.

I've read and received many questions, such as, "Why have we had to wait all these years and are having to continue to wait for Caryl to be canon?" and "If it was going to happen, it would have happened by now." and I feel like the above gifs answer all of that.

These two have endured unimaginable pain before and after the outbreak, and throughout it all, they have been each other's light, held each other together, helped each other heal from their past, and become the strongest versions of themselves.

However, they have never been allowed to be selfish, to take a moment to think about what they deserve, or to imagine the possibility of accepting the love they want and need; why? Because they have been so busy protecting and making sacrifices for everyone else.

For the past 13 years, they have been content as long as they have each other in their lives, accepting their current circumstances as long as the other seems happy. But during all that time, they also connected in more ways than they had realised.

The major connection I wanted to point out is that their lives depend on one another now (mutually inclusive). Whether knowingly or unknowingly, they are alive at this moment because of each other. I don't mean this just in a 'save their life when they're in danger' way but also as a 'I can't imagine my life existing beyond yours' and 'I can't distinguish between my life and yours' kind of way.

I briefly touched on this in one of my previous posts about Carol [here], and the show, in general, has been a lot more open with us regarding what Carol wants, but here are a couple of more nuanced instances from the later seasons where we see those feelings show from Daryl and Carol's perspectives:

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP3 Ghosts (Daryl)

The first scene I wanted to mentions is when Alpha confronts them about crossing her border. The moment she says, "You have to be punished," and the whisperers reach for their weapons, we see Daryl shifting on his feet as he prepares to move at a moment's notice.

And as soon as Carol talks back to Alpha, calling her words "Bullshit", Daryl is already moving.

He immediately places himself between them to shield Carol in case Alpha decides to attack her.

Then, when Carol snaps and tries to shoot Alpha, Daryl grabs and takes complete hold of her.

He's not just trying to stop her; he's using himself to shield every inch of her from any possible incoming assault from the whisperers.

Once Alpha allows them to leave, he grabs Carol and her bow and arrows without a second of hesitation (leaving behind his own crossbow) and immediately moves Carol away from the situation.

Once again, when everyone is in danger all Daryl can think about is Carol, making sure she's safe and unharmed, with no concern for himself.

I also think it's so beautiful and important to point out here that while all Daryl could think about was shielding Carol, Michonne was also there trying to protect both of them ♡

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP3 Ghosts (Daryl) - Part 2

The second one I want to mention is later in the same episode when Daryl and Michonne rush Carol back to Alexandria/Siddiq for help after she cuts her arm open badly.

We first find Daryl holding onto a column outside to steady himself while he waits to find out if she's okay.

When Siddiq comes out full of hesitation and can't find the words to answer Michone when she asks if Carol is okay, we see a look of pure fear on Daryl's face.

He freezes; he's holding his breath and won't dare move or say anything because he feels like his whole reality is hanging by a thread, and in the moment, the smallest thing or whatever Siddiq is about to say next might make it all fall apart.

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP9 Squeeze (Daryl)

The third moment I wanted to mention is when Carol is hanging off the edge of a rock in the cave, risking her life just so she can try to destroy part of Alpha's horde, but Daryl finds her and is so confused and terrified by what she's doing.

He tries to tell her, to warn her that she's gonna get herself killed if she tries to go through with what she's planning.

Look at how he flinches and instantly loses his breath when her hand slips a little... breaks my heart every time.

When she responds to him by saying, "She killed my boy", Daryl's fear is now also combined with desperation because he realised that he didn't need to warn her about the possibility of getting herself killed; he realised she knew the risk all along and was in such a low place that she was almost welcoming the consequences.

What previously was a tone of alarm in Daryl's voice turns into a whisper, and he's now pleading with her. Without saying the actual words, he's begging her to choose to live again, even if it's just for him.

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP14 Look at the Flowers (Carol)

What Caryl wants is also kind of answered in 10x14, where Carol is having an internal confrontation with herself. Subconsciously, she has chosen and manifested Alpha (who is now dead) as the face and voice of the one confronting her.

Timestamp 19:10 - 20:15

When "Alpha" says to her:

"Being out on your own... you've tried it before. They always pull you back. Always wanting more. Love. Motherhood. Death. But they don't know what you truly want. Admit it. What do you want? Say it..."

Carol responded by saying :

"I want to be alone."

To which "Alpha" says:

"Yeah. That's not it."

So the question here is, if it's not love in general, motherhood, death, or being left alone, then what does Carol actually want?

It's important here to note that Carol already knows the answer to that question. She's only asking herself this question because she hasn't accepted it; she isn't being honest with herself yet.

Timestamp 33:15 - 35:20

While Carol is stuck under the rubble and can't get out as the walker is getting closer to her, "Alpha" taunts her by saying:

"Stop fighting. No matter what you do, you lose people. Sophia, Lizzie, Mika, Henry, Ezekiel... And if you go back, Daryl could be next."

To which Carol responds:

"I could never let that happen."

This internal confrontation with herself and the realization that even when everything else in her world is dark, just having Daryl and making sure he's okay is worth living for and fighting for and that it's not too late for her to start over. The acceptance that that's who/what she truly wants gives her the strength at that moment to fight again, dislocating her shoulder to get free and killing the walker that was about to reach her.

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP16 A Certain Doom (Daryl)

Looking back at 10x01 for a second, Carol asks Daryl to run away with her, but he says no and explains that life in tiny boat cabins is not for him. Then Carol presents the idea of running away on his bike instead, and he's much more enticed by his idea; however, by the end of the episode, they both agree that they can't because they still feel responsible for the people around them and making sure that they're safe against the threat from Alpha. 

Back to 10x16, after Carol went to lead the horde off the cliff, Daryl would have almost been expecting and terrified that she wouldn't come back, that she'd take this "out" and end her own pain in a permanent and self-sacrificial way like she's tried before, but this time, he wouldn't be there to beg her to come back to him and to save her. 

Once again, we find him leaning and steadying himself against a tree, preparing for the worst possible news or, as the episode's title suggests, a certain doom.

And when he sees her again, he can't take his eyes off her.

He doesn't believe his eyes at first; he looks all over her to make sure she's not hurt, but when she speaks, asking him if he's good, he finally breathes again, letting out the breath he's been holding.

The community is safe (for now) since the horde has been dealt with, and his next immediate thought is, "You still got me" and "New Mexico is still out there." He immediately brings back the idea of running away together; why? Because he now knows that this time he got way too close to losing her forever and will not be risking that ever again. He's now ready to leave everything and everyone else he cares about behind, so he'll never risk losing her again. 

He loves her so much that, once again, all else comes second.

When he hugs her, he pulls her in tighter than ever before, making sure he's holding onto as much of her as possible because he needs to know that this is real, that he's actually holding her, that she's right there, unharmed and breathing, and not just a part of a dream of what he wants to see. 

I believe he forgives everything in that instant, including her actions that led to losing Connie, because his pain is not worth causing her any more of it. He will now carry that guilt for himself, taking as much of her burden as possible just to make living a little easier for her. Because he'd rather shoulder all the pain and guilt than lose her, and because he can live with the pain and guilt, but he can't live without her. 

~~~~~~~~

S11 EP24 Rest in Peace (Daryl & Carol)

I believe the events of the season 11 finale forced them to come to a new level of internal acceptance. Seeing the people around them lose the ones they love the most started a spark, and it started to force them to have those internal conversations.

The reality began to sink in for both of them that there had been too many close calls to keep denying themselves what they truly wanted, and It's now more true to them than ever that their tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

We all expected this to be the moment they went for what they'd wanted for so long, but we were wrong; their wounds were just too deep, and their instinct to self-sacrifice was once again too strong.

A year later, we see them once again dedicating their lives to helping others, Carol taking over Hornsby's job and helping put the commonwealth back together, and Daryl setting out to see what's left out there, hoping to find Rick and Michonne and bring them back to their family.

~~~~~~~~

TOWL S01 EP04 What We (Daryl & Carol) - A Parallel

There's a pretty important parallel that I'd like to point out as well. In episode 4 of TOWL, when Micheonne asks Rick what the CRM took from him, Rick responds to her by saying:

"When I got taken, I fought, and I fought, and not just by trying to get away, but by how I would dream. I'd meet up with Carl in my dreams. And that's how I survived in here. Kept me alive... But then I started dreaming of you [Michonne]... and it kept me going... I can't live without you. Without you, I die."

It's important here to note that Rick is speaking to his wife. When he was taken away and at his lowest, he survived because when he went to sleep, he dreamed about Carl (his son) and Michonne (his soulmate) and his happy memories with them.

So what does Daryl dream about when he's taken away and at his lowest? (TWD:DD S01 EP01)

He dreams about Judith (his surrogate daughter) and Carol (his soulmate).

He dreams about Judith telling him that he deserves a happy ending too, and his very next thought is of Carol, seeing her again and being with her again because that's the happy ending he truly wants.

And what does Carol dream about when she's at her lowest in season 10?

She dreams about Henry (her adoptive son) and Daryl (her soulmate)

She dreams about the life she's always wanted, a home, a family and a life with Daryl because that's the happy ending she truly wants.

Also, just a quick mention that even Michonne refers to Rick (her husband) as her friend when speaking to Virgil in TWD 10x08 (TS: 40:00 - 41:20)

~~~~~~~~

So why is TBOC going to be any different? And why was Daryl ending up in France the best thing that could have happened for Caryl?

Because they have finally reached a point where they almost believe they've lost the other, they have been forced to feel the dependence of their existence on the others.

They have never been truly separated before, not to this extent. And what to them was previously only a fear has now become a reality.

When they're reunited, it's going to be with a completely new perspective and total understanding of the extent of their need for one another, and the idea of just having one another in each other's lives will no longer even remotely come close to being sufficient.

I'll elaborate a little...

After all these years, we've seen them constantly save one another and be terrified of losing each other. But no matter what, nothing got them to the point where they felt they needed (more than anything) to confess to the other. So far, everything they have faced during the main show has been different shades of the same thing, and the urgency was never high enough to outweigh their self-doubt and insecurities.

What France has given us is a whole new level of steaks. Where we'll find them in season 2 is on the verge of believing that they'll never be able to see each other again; this, coupled with the fact that they don't even know if the other is even alive, and the fact that the distance and time apart has given them a true taste of how much they need the other, we now have the perfect and unique recipe for something that outweighs their self-doubts and insecurities.

It's the age-old idea of you don't know what you have until it's gone. The difference between:

Watching everyone around them lose the people they love most: they empathise with them, their heart breaks for them, they may even be devastated by that loss, and ultimately, it probably makes them cherish the ones they still have even more.

They, themselves, losing the person they love most: this is something that needs to be experienced to be understood. It's reality shifting, and the pain/loss outweighs anything else.

And now, after experiencing that loss for themselves, by some miracle, they're given another chance with that person... what a way to completely shift someone's priorities and ability to act past insecurities.

~~~~~~~~

To wrap up I wanna go back to Norman's words from the NYCC TBOC press conference:

"[Carol] feels something's wrong. They have that kind of bond, where there's a lot of unspoken things that are said... the bonds that we made in the flagship show are still very strong... [Carol] can take care of herself, of course... but the bond just keeps getting stronger and stronger..."

And David Zabel's words from his interview with Entertainment Weekly (interview link):

"The main focus of season 2 for me was always Daryl and Carol coming back together and what does that mean? And it becomes ultimately a story about how we as people can save each other. She's trying to find him, but in the process of telling that story: How are they ultimately getting to a place where they're kind of saving each other?...showing what's happening inside these characters as people in the most intimate personal way"

Daryl and Carol have loved and cared for each other so profoundly, especially when they couldn't love themselves, even to the point of sacrificing their own happiness to prioritise the others. If that is not the true meaning of soulmates, then I don't know what is. And we all know that some of the greatest loves are routed in the truest friendships.

~~~~~~~~

Thank you to everyone who read through this! I know it was an extra long one, and it could have been even longer, but I've decided to post their moments from 10C separately, as there's a lot more to break down there. I really enjoyed writing this, and I'm so happy/grateful that I have this platform to share these thoughts with you all. I'd love to know your thoughts on the things I've mentioned or missed ♡♡♡

As some of you already know, I'll be attending the Tribeca Premiere for TBOC in 9 days. After that, I'd like to write and share a spoiler-free-ish afterthought for this post, including what I've taken away from episode 1, what was said during the cast panel afterwards, and my thoughts on what's to come for Caryl. If anyone would like to be tagged when that's posted, please let me know.

I'll be posting a more detailed and spoilery analysis of Episode 1 once it's actually released.

#daryl dixon #carol peletier #caryl #the book of carol #the walking dead daryl dixon #the walking dead #twd #my gifs #caryl positivity #CarylArchives

[minnaci]

sorry i know i am not a hellaverse blog but i just watched full moon and i felt so strongly about it that i got out of bed, opened my laptop, and logged into the tumblr website for the first time in months because i knew i would want a full keyboard for this.

disclaimers: i enjoy the show and especially this episode! i like all of the characters, including stolas. what i say is colored by my own experiences and perspectives (ie, i am biased and this is my opinion)

tldr; i find it hard to like stolas in full moon. i also find it hard to empathize with stolas, if i'm being honest, and especially when it comes to his relationship with blitz. warning for full moon spoilers and discussions of racism-adjacent classism.

within the hellaverse exists clear social and economic stratification between "royalty" and "imps", with stolas being the former and blitz being the latter. much like in real life, these social identities inform everything about these characters and the way they interact with the world and each other.

stolas, to put it bluntly, is rich, and blitz is not. stolas lives in a lavish palace with imps as servants. he is not shown to interact with other imps outside of this master-servant relationship. hell, even when they were children, blitz was quite literally purchased for stolas. blitz's first impression of stolas was being sold to him, while stolas was none the wiser.

this is not necessarily stolas's fault. he was sheltered as a child, and even as he grew into an adult, he remained sheltered, seemingly ignorant to the very real class divide between him and his newest paramour. from the very beginning of their reunion, blitz uses his body to provide a service to stolas in exchange for his livelihood, and stolas accepts it because that's the way stolas is used to interacting with imps. stolas continues to "hire" blitz, both as a bodyguard and as a sex worker, and while he understands that this relationship is transactional, he doesn't really see anything wrong with it until the shitshow at ozzie's.

there is no awareness of how uncomfortable this might be for blitz. there is no empathy for how blitz might react. stolas treats blitz as an object, a plaything, a living, breathing sex toy (at one point, stolas calls blitz his "impish plaything". can it get any more clear?). as long as stolas owns the grimoire, and blitz needs the grimoire to survive, stolas can leverage that for whatever he wants from blitz. it's coerced consent. it's been coerced consent from the beginning. there is no acknowledgement that stolas holds the only key to blitz's livelihood. not until ozzie's.

only after blitz says, to stolas's face, that their relationship is completely transactional, does stolas finally begin to scratch the surface of how large their difference in perspective is. where stolas has been playing at a fantasy of being in love, blitzo has been doing what he needs to do to survive. to keep his family afloat.

and full moon. god, full moon. one commenter on youtube described it as an "ambush", and i am inclined to agree.

blitz was prepared to do what he's had to do. sex for survival. he bought out nearly the entire lust district for it, because even then he could sense that something had changed, and that he'd need to really impress stolas for things to continue as they were-- for blitz to be abel to continue to make ends meet. what blitz had no way of knowing, though, was that stolas was re-writing the rules of the metaphorical game they were playing. sure, stolas gives blitz the asmodean crystal, thereby "freeing" blitz from stolas's service, but in the same breath, stolas lays down a new set of expectations. stolas is no longer willing to accept sex as a service. stolas now wants love.

it would be a lot for anyone to take in. imagine you enter your boss's office for your performance review. you think this boss is hot. you maybe have a big crush on this boss. but they tell you that you're being fired, effective today. but they're giving you a foot in the door at a different company because they care about you. also by the way they fell in love with you, which is why they fired you. honestly? i'd probably react pretty poorly to that.

and for blitz, who has gone his whole life being told, implicitly and explicitly, that he is unworthy of love and care, both as a product of his personal experiences and as a product of his socioeconomic class, that's a whole fuckton of shit to take in. it feels almost logical for blitz to treat it like a joke or some sort of performance, because what other explanation is there? stolas is royalty. and blitz... blitz is just blitz. blitz, whose parents cared more about fizzarolli than him. blitz, whose father sold him to some rich asshole. blitz, who, in his perspective, knows better than anyone else that his greatest assets are what he can provide for other people: sex, assassinations, and more sex. blitz, who, in his mind, has ruined every relationship he's ever touched, from his parents, to his friendship with fizzarolli, to his fathering of loona, to his disastrous fling with verosika.

blitz, who was given all of thirty seconds to process that stolas really does "care for him deeply" before stolas dismissed him and shoved blitz out of his life for good because blitz didn't respond (read: perform) to his satisfaction.

i am not saying that blitz is perfect or blameless, because hell knows he's not. he took advantage of stolas's naivete in a plethora of ways. he's a literal murderer. he does treat the people around him poorly. he has hurt stolas, and fizzarolli, and moxxie and millie and even loona. blitz is brash, rude, and emotionally stunted. but much of this can be at least in part attributed to his childhood and the scarcity mindset with which he was raised. when every interaction you have is transactional, even the ones you have with your parents, it takes a lot longer than the 30 seconds that stolas allowed blitz to process that someone genuinely cares about you in a way that is not contingent on you doing things for them or otherwise being useful to them.

all that to say, i feel for stolas, but feel for blitz more. i think this episode did a really great job of like... really digging into the crux of the problem in the stolitz relationship, which is their fundamentally different perspectives and life experiences, even if the finer points about class and socioeconomic status weren't explicitly discussed.

#thinkmin! #helluva boss #helluva boss full moon #helluva boss spoilers #stolitz #sorry i kinda can't tell if i'm making sense but i have a lot of feelings and i need to put them somewhere so y'all get this #+stolas #+blitzø

[kimvante2013]

『𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬』 변우석

summary: The feelings between you and your best friend are far from over.

Genre: best friends to lovers,little bit of angst,Byeon Woo Seok x fem!reader,drabble

author notes: After months I came back, today I bring you a drabble about the love of my life, also because I saw "Lovely runner" and I liked it a lot so I got a little inspiration from there, well I hope you enjoy this and later I will bring more about Sun Jae and Woo seok since I don't see many people writing about them, take care and good night :)

Word count: 1089k

The soft ping of my phone broke the quiet hum of my apartment. A message from Woo-seok.

“Hey y/n, do you want to come to my house later? I need to write some lines for my new drama, “Lovely Runner”. You know, the usual, being my personal script coach and all that stuff.”

I smiled, imagining Woo-seok's signature goofy smile. It was almost endearing how he never seemed to take his acting career seriously, even though he was on the verge of becoming a major star. He was still the same goofy, clumsy boy he'd known in high school, the one who always made me laugh.

“Sure, I'll be there in an hour. "What time are you free?" I replied and let the tea sit while he prepared it for me.

An hour later, I found myself outside Woo-seok's elegant apartment building, the imposing structure a stark contrast to the cozy, modest apartment we used to share as roommates in college.

He greeted me with a wide, welcoming smile and a playful push, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the hallway. "You're late," he teased, pushing me inside.

"Traffic," I lied, my cheeks heating up under his gaze. Despite knowing him for years, my heart still pounded when he looked at me like that. He always had this way of making me feel seen, like I was the only person in the room.

His apartment was a testament to his success, modern and elegant, with a wide view of the city skyline. But I still felt at home, filled with the familiar warmth of his presence.

"Let's go to my room," he said, leading me to a well-lit space filled with scripts, props, and a comfortable chair.

"Okay, so this scene is where I first meet my love interest, played by the beautiful, talented, and incredibly charming Ryu Sun-jae," Woo-seok began, his voice dropping to a playful whisper.

I couldn't help but laugh. He was very dramatic, even when he talked about his own work. But his enthusiasm was infectious and I found myself immersed in the story. He ran through the lines, his voice shifting seamlessly between playful banter and sincere emotion.

He was good, really good. He poured his heart and soul into every word, into every gesture, making me forget that he was just watching a friend rehearse.

And this is where I'm supposed to make a grand entrance, you know, like a knight in shining armor. "But I think he's too exaggerated," he muttered, pulling a crumpled script from the table.

"No, I think he's perfect," I said, surprised by my own conviction. "He is your character, it is what makes him unique."

Woo-seok looked at me with a flash of surprise in his eyes. 'Actually? So you think?

"Yes," I nodded, trying to ignore the way his gaze lingered on me. There was an unspoken connection between us, a bond forged over years of shared laughter, dreams, and late-night chats.

'What do you think he should do here?' He asked, pointing to a particularly difficult line.

'Hmm, maybe try it with a little more vulnerability?' I suggested, my voice softening as I realized how closely I was studying his face.

He nodded, frowning in concentration. He walked the line again, this time with a raw emotion that resonated deeply within me.

"Wow," I sighed, genuinely impressed. 'That's perfect. You captured the uncertainty, the fear, the longing for acceptance. It is brilliant.'

Woo-seok's smile was brighter than the city lights outside. 'You're the best, Y/n. You always know how to make me feel better about my work.

We continued rehearsing until the sun began to set, casting long shadows across the room. As we worked, it felt like we were falling back into the comfortable rhythm of our old college days, time blurring into a cozy, shared memory.

"I think I'm a little hungry," Woo-seok said, breaking the silence. 'How about we order some food?'

"Sounds good to me," I agreed, feeling a warmth spread through me.

While we waited for our food, we sat on the floor and flipped through old photo albums. Laughter filled the room as we recalled silly moments from our past, each image a window into our shared history.

The delivery boy arrived, bringing with him the aroma of spicy noodles and sizzling dumplings. We ate in comfortable silence, enjoying the food and the company.

Later, while we were cleaning, Woo-seok turned to me and his eyes met mine. 'You know, Y/n, I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You have always been there for me, through thick and thin.

I smiled, my heart swelled with warmth. 'Me too, Woo-seok. You are my best friend and I will always be there for you.

He reached out and took my hand, his touch sending a shiver down my spine. "I know," he said, his voice low and sincere. "And I'm grateful for that."

For a moment, we stood there, hands clasped and the silence filled with unexpressed emotions. The city outside glowed like a distant dream, but all he could see was Woo-seok, his eyes containing a depth that he knew he couldn't ignore forever.

“I should probably head home,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and his gaze stopped on my face. "Yeah, I guess you should."

I pulled away, my heart aching with a mix of longing and apprehension.

"I'll see you around, Woo-seok," I said, forcing a smile.

"Yes, definitely," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of disappointment.

When I left his apartment, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed between us. The line between friendship and something more had blurred, and I wasn't sure I was ready to cross it.

I had always valued our friendship and the thought of risking it for something uncertain made me sick to my stomach. But the warmth of his touch, the intensity of his gaze, and the way he made me feel so seen had awakened a longing inside me that I couldn't ignore.

The lights of the city blur as I walked, my mind replaying the events of the night. I knew I needed time to process everything, to discover my feelings. But one thing was certain: the bond between Woo-seok and I was deeper than simple friendship, and I knew, with a certainty that made my heart ache, that our story was far from over.

#byeon woo seok #kdrama x reader #ryu sun jae #lovely runner #kdrama #Byeon woo seok x reader

[alphajocklover]

500 Followers Special: The Hometown Hex, Wally’s Visit

Wallace Power was parked in his parents driveway, a confident grin on his face as he unbuckled his seatbelt, his impressive biceps flexing slightly as he did. While, that wasn’t exactly right. Wally Power was the one getting out of his car and confidently strutting up to his parents house, excited to see his family. Wally Power was a manly, buff, straight, conservative bro who believes in traditional values and masculinity. He was not Wallace Power. Wallace Power was a skinny, sweet, gay man who had a steady boyfriend and, at least currently, was just a voice in the back of Wally Power’s head. The reason for this strange situation was Wallace’s/Wally's hometown of Maxford.

Maxford is a very unique place, one that has a strange effect on the people who live there. Anyone who enters Maxford is transformed into a conservative, traditionally attractive, straight version of themselves. Wally, having been born and raised in Maxford, had spent his entire life as a straight manly jock. Until he went to college and, upon leaving city limits, transformed into a very confused Walllace. Wallace had enjoyed being himself, living without the town's influence, but he wasn’t always able to avoid coming back home and turning back into Wally. He didn’t want to ice out his family completely afterall. He loved them, in both forms. So, Wallace had driven into town and allowed himself to transform into Wally, a horny straight playboy who couldn’t even remember Wallace existed.

Wally knocked on the door, his usual confident smirk replaced by a more genuine, excited grin. It had been way too fucking long since he saw his little bro Eddie. He loudly knocked on the door, and grinned as a younger but equally muscular man opened the door.

“Eddie! Happy birthday lil bro!” Wally said with a grin, taking the younger jock into a short, manly bro hug. Eddie smiled back, accepting the hug happily before pulling back and jokingly punching his older brothers arm.

“Thanks bro. It’s good to see you. Feels like it’s been forever! Always seems like we have to drag you away from that college.” Eddie teased

“Well, you know what they say about college girls.” Wally said with a charming wink and a crude laugh. Deep inside Wally’s head, Wallace sighed. Whatever changed people when they entered Maxford also supplied false memories for their time outside. As far as Wally was concerned he had been fucking sorority bimbos left and right, but in reality Wallace actually had a steady boyfriend named Micheal. Wallace adored Micheal. He was a sweet, loving guy who made Wallace weak in the knees. The only strain in their relationship was that he hadn’t introduced Micheal to his family. One day he’d have to tell Micheal about Maxford… but that was for another trip. Wallace was so deep in thought (technically all he was was thought at that moment) that he barely noticed that Wally kept talking.

“So, what’s with your hair bro? Why’d you dye it blond? It looks fucking gay.” Wally said, making him and Eddie both laugh obnoxiously. Eddie flexed his biceps before replying

“What can I say, girls like blonds. Trust me, no one is going to think a fucking stud like me is a queer.” Eddie said cockily. Wally laughed, filled with pride in his brother. Wallace however only felt saddened. Wallace, while only a voice right now, actually did have some influence over Wally. He had only been able to exert enough influence to get Wally to convince Eddie to drive to a bar out of town. The second Eddie had left, Walllace had gotten to meet Ed. Ed was smaller than Eddie, which was to be expected, but he was also so much… meeker. He had so much more fear in him. Ed couldn’t handle not being Eddie, so he begged Wallace to take him back. Wallace didn’t want to lose Ed… but he didn’t want to make him miserable. So Wally and Eddie went to a local bar. Wallace had always regretted that he hadn’t been able to show his little brother the world outside Maxford… but Wally didn’t give a fuck.

After a while of talking about their recent fucks, football, and how annoying fucking queers are, the two studs made their way out to the backyard, where their parents were waiting. Wally’s dad, Rick, was waiting out there sitting with their Mom, a hand on the MILFs perky ass. He greeted his sons with a confident grin and a strong handshake

“There’s my boys! Glad to see you home after so long Wally. Guess you had to come for lil Eddie’s birthday.” He said, teasing both his sons lightly, who just rolled their eyes at their dads antics. “Glad to see that college hasn’t turned you into some kind of queer.” He continued, causing the whole family to burst into laughter. Wallace sighed. If only they knew

Wallace tried to spend the next week as unalert as possible. He had found it was easier that way, sinking into the background and letting Wally do whatever he wanted. If he didn’t he’d have to put up with the homophobic jokes, the toxic masculinity, and the rampant sexism the entire time. Better to just let Wally take the reins. He just kept to the back of Wally’s mind as he worked out, but partied with his little bro, played football, and (much to Wallace’s horror) hooked up with old girlfriends. Wallace would come out shortly whenever that happened, but only to exert all his will to force Wally to wear a condom. If he got a girl pregnant here he’d never be able to leave. After a week of all of this and 3 different old girlfriends doing things Wally that Wallace would never be able to forget and Wally would never let his brother forget he got to do, Wallace had almost had it. Still he was determined to stick out the final week. Until one day he heard a knock at his door.

Still slightly hungover from the night before, Wally strutted over to the door and opened it, a cocky smirk on his manly face. It took both him and Wallace a moment to recognize the man in front of them. When they finally did they almost couldn’t believe it.

“Mikey?!” ‘Micheal?!’ Wally and Wallace thought simultaneously .

Wally couldn’t believe it. His roommate and best friend had come to surprise him in Maxford! This was the fucking best!

Wallace couldn’t believe it. His boyfriend, the man he loved, had come to surprise him in Maxford, and got turned into a straight jock. This was the absolute worst.

**Hope this was worth the wait guys! I had a blast writing it! I’ll go into Wally’s second week at Maxford and Micheal/Mikeys surprise visit another time. I might even go into Eddies experience one day. Hope you enjoy’**

#muscle growth tf #muscle tf #jock tf #jock transformation #jockification #nerd to jock #reality change #the hometown hex #500 followers

[aubadeatelier]

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man!

On 31 May 2004, an amazing journey began with Allen Walker making his way to the European Branch of the Black Order as a new exorcist.

And now, it is 31 May 2024, 20 years of a still on-going journey. A lot has happened and changed and yet, he keeps walking.

Happy Birthday, D. Gray-man! And thank you for everything you've brought to me and so many others!

This post contains the pieces I did for the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. 1 Party Doodle and 2 Redraw Project pages. Please enjoy! To see the whole zine, please access the zine through the link below to the project tumblr!

✦ D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine ✦

Please make sure to take a look at the whole zine! I had the greatest honor to work with more than 100+ amazing artists across the world. It would mean a lot to me and all those who worked on this zine to have our work seen together as one!

(PS. I asked a funny little question in the Party Doodle section of the zine!)

[Beyond this point are my pieces and some fun facts!]

Party Doodle || A Celebration from 35 Years Ago featuring from bottom left, Mana D. Campbell, Nea D. Campbell, ???, Cross Marian, and Timcampy. ✦ I originally made this celebration doodle with the intention of just drawing Nea, ???, and Timcampy. But upon popular demand and the power of friendship (shoutout to Hana Hazel, Kanin, and Sabhamun), I ended up adding Cross Marian and Mana! And honestly, the additions were a great idea and really make the piece feel more lively and fun! (Also we need more Campbell brothers content damn it. I wanna see them happy!) ✦ Also, if any of your are up-to-date at this point, you know Chapter 251 coming out shook so many things including this piece that was already done when it released. But! I think it's fun to keep it as is as a relic of the pre-251 era. (Who knows? Maybe I'll make a fixed version!)

Redraw Project Page 01 || Chapter 04. Page 119. ✦ The first redraw page I received for assignment! I ended up liking the page, because it felt to me an integral establishing page for the series' themes. I may have gotten a little overboard with how I wanted to interpret the page, but I thought originally I would not be doing a second page and thus, wanted to put a lot of effort. In D. Gray-man, Akuma are created when a person makes a deal with the Millennium Earl. More often than not, the person has no idea what this deal entails, only that they can bring their loved one back from the dead if they agree to it. But what happens when the person is aware or knows not to accept the Earl's deal? And we receive a heart-wrenching, but understandable answer. To have the knowledge of the Earl's tricks does not automatically save a person. The Earl preys on the vulnerable. He appears and makes his offer to those in the deepest pits of despair and grief. That is how he got Leo. He was just a kid who lost his mother. He may have known more about the Earl and Akuma, because of his friendship with Jean, but when you are grieving kid-- what do you do when someone promises you they'll bring back your mother who was taken from you so suddenly? It is difficult to say no. ✦ The books that frame the piece are meant to convey this emphasis of knowledge and study-- the days Jean and Leo spent reading through Jean's father's books and notes about the Earl and Akuma with intention to patrol their town and keep people safe. Ultimately, a book page is the last panel, showing a representation of Leo and the Earl at a grave as Leo becomes an example of a person who takes the Earl's deal and whose body is taken by an Akuma. ✦ The blue tones of Jean and the Akuma were on purpose made to contrast the warmer tones of Jean and Leo's days together. ✦ It was crazy getting to draw an Akuma's face. It was a challenge to try and draw kids, but I ended getting through it pretty well. ✦ There are a few silly easter eggs in the open books. I put a small anniversary message in one. And in the other, I tried to sketch Cornelia and the Campbell Estate with the lyrics of the 14th's song. A nod to some content in the later parts of the series.

Redraw Project Page 02 || Chapter 01. Page 38. ✦ Originally, the plan was I only would do 1 redraw page and 1 doodle, but we needed fill-ins and I took a shot at it! ✦ When I found out it was a page from Chapter 1, I was ecstatic! I had originally wanted to do one from the chapter, but they were high in demand which was more than understandable. ✦ Unlike my first redraw page, I decided to be a little more simplistic with the layout. This layout is not too far off from that of the Katsura Hoshino's, but I made a few changes such as certain angles, drawing characters closer to emphasize faces. ✦ I am not the strongest with backgrounds and drawing buildings, but I ended up enjoying the challenge of it all. Thankfully, a lot of other artists in the project tackled the building and referenced the original page, the pages and sketches of the building or interior by other project artists, and the anime to ready myself to tackle it! ✦ The spirals of the Akuma bullet gave me trouble at first, but then I ended up enjoying it as I figured it out. ✦ This page was overall a big joy to play with as it challenged me with backgrounds, certain effects, and word bubbles.

And with that, this concludes the tour of my work on the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. I have so much to say about this series and what it means to me, but I will try not to make this post horridly longer.

D. Gray-man is the series that made me fall in love with storytelling and art. It showed me something that filled an emptiness I felt. It gave me joy and company at a time where I felt unsure who I was and felt like an outcast. My resolution after this project is to continuously grow better at my stories and art. I hope to make something as meaningful to myself and others as D. Gray-man is.

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man! I hope and pray for more wonderful chapters and for there to be a lovely conclusion someday. For now, let us keep walking together!

#dgm20thfanproject #d.gray man #d. gray-man #dgm #d. gray man #d gray man #redraw project #redraw #nea d campbell #cross marian #mana d campbell #nea #mana #allen walker #dgm allen #aubadeatelier art #aubadeatelier oc #aubadeempress oc #aubadeempress art

[zenala-art]

Do you have an infodump on your captain Agent 4?

Firstly, thank you so much for the ask and interest!!

Secondly, I sure do! Conelia's my first and main Splatoon OC so she has. a lot. of lore, and I'll gladly infodump some stuff :D

Let's start with her general reference sheet! I think it makes for a nice introduction:

I think the first thing anyone asks (reasonably so) when I tell them that she's the captain is "Why not Agent 3?" In my agent story, Agent 3 is completely MIA since the end of Octo Expansion, and even without taking that into account, Conelia spends a lot more time with Marie and Callie than he (being very introverted) ever did, and she's definitely more dedicated to being a good fighter. So, when it came to choosing who's going to be the next captain, she was a very clear choice.

Being one of the captains of her competitive team, she was already used to this sort of responsability, too! The NSBS sure can sponsor her dream of being a professional competitive player, and this just meant more time to be spending with the Squid Sisters, which can't be a bad thing in her opinion.

Here's an overall of my (active) agents:

Asra and Radish are a bit outdated since I've added more interesting things to their lore since I made this picture, but the rest pretty much remains the same!

Conelia really enjoys Asra's company as her first pupil, being much more proactive and giving more pieces of random advice than we see the Captain do in the game. After the events of ROTM, the two of them very often communicate mostly through sign language, since it usually feels more comfortable for Asra (who is mostly nonverbal due to some circumstances in their life, but with Conelia they sometimes speak). She's super excited and wants to teach Asra everything she can, acknowledging that they "have a lot of potential".

She also has a long friendship history with both Agent 3 and Agent 8, but they might not be super relevant to the conversation at hand? I do have this relationship chart from some time ago that could be a fast, superficial view however (don't mind the old designs, drawings are a little old, but the info is still correct):

So yeah, if we talk about the general character, Conelia has most of the attributes usually associated with Agent 4 (the excitedness and general perceived vibe, the "always busy with school" aspect of it, living far from Inkopolis or Splatsville, etc). The most important aspect of her personal life that I feel affects how she handles leadership (and therefore her work as a captain) is having inattentive parents who forced her to be independent since way too young.

It took her some convincing from the Squid Sisters to accept recruiting a new agent, even though 8 is mostly not working with them anymore - she just wants to do everything herself all of the time, even though she knows that workload would be too much for her.

I won't go too far into detail on her personal life right now (or I'd make an actual essay here), but hopefully this infodump was interesting to you :D once again thank you for the interest and the excuse to dump about my ocs in public

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #agent 4 #captain 4 #captain splatoon #conelia #oc #oc infodump #inkling oc #agent 4 oc #splatoon agents #asks

[crispywizardtale]

#im a day late but i met ForceBook so i dont mind missing any of the 8 series im currently watching #but i have to talk about this #i was blown away by the chemistry this 2 give off #this was such a powerful scene #the way Phaya gasped and froze when he realizes that Tharn just kissed him is so well shown #but also the way he accepts it and just wants more wants to enjoy this moment and ge everything he can #its like a switch has been switched on inside of Phaya but also inside Tharn because its like he solber ups for a moment when their eyes met #the connection they share is so powerful #i kind of wish they kissed here of just a tiny peck which would be followed by heavy breathing and intenese eye contact #but i still love this scene a lot #i love how in the 1st ep it was Tharn who lost his cool and leaned back on Phaya while in this ep it was mostly Phaya (Tharn was drunk) #is anyone else freaking out over the forehead kiss????? #only me okay... #also after the last gif i need Phaya and Tharn to do it on the cauntertop at least once in this series #like imagine is shirtless Phaya lifts Tharn like that... #i gave myself hope now.... and if we dont get it ill be disappointed.... #i love this series so much its my all time fave airing now #the sign #the sign the series #the sign series #billybabe #billy patchanon #asian bl #bl series #thai bl

[eggwishing]

little peek at somethjing i am cooking up ...

#this is rlly rough but rn im just blocking everything out #i have like 6.5 pages sketched so far this is already going faster than last time i think..^_^ #im having a blast also #im tryna rewire my brain . every time i think Blehhh i hate drawing i just want to see it done i gotta stop n correct myself #like Hey wait you actually love drawing why are you telling yourself this The process is frustrating sometimes but that comes with art #i had to redraw this one page like 4 separate times and i still didn't feel like giving up #like yeah i was feeling pressed but at the same time i was being patient with myself #like this is part of improving Stop laying on the floor and wondering why you're even doin this you've always loved it #only drawing when u know it's gonna turn out good defeats the whole purpose of learning #also i added cal last minute to this comic and im gladi did he's so creeepy #im very excited to get this done Not impatient like i was before #im impatient for people to see it yeah lol but not w myself #and im not gonna be all like “yeah we'll see how long this lasts lol” bc i think that's already setting myself up for burning out #i have hope that i can keep enjoying art like this I just need to change the way i think #and accept the messy n ugly. the perfect is the enemy of the good #aaron blaise really inspires me. he sincerely loves what he does and i want to be like that #this is also gonna be more comic-like Panelwise i think #scott pilgrim n my bro inspired me #also the way cal's face cuts off on the right makes sense in context he's peekin from behind a chair

[cursezoroark]

i adore this scene dearly they are so doomed

#talk #smth smth whenever i get to this arc i just enjoy how their characters have changed from when they were little to know WHILE still #maintaining their core traits and fears. like sapphire is a lot more comfortable expressing herself as of ruby #accepting his whole deals with battles and having a more straightforward way of thinking #HOWEVER. their core flaws are also just as present. well in this case its ruby. #he LITERALLY stretches his hand out for her he's literally doing whatever he thinks is best for sapphire which is by not opening up #and hiding the whole situation from her which is. so bad. he's 15 running under a timer #and of course he wants to protect those he loves and wants to do more! but in turn. #he loses her trust. outright kind of confirming what she rlly hates the most. leaving her behind. leaving her out of ideas. #sapphire has a whole plethora of issues as well they're just not as focused on. she literally loses her voice. cause she feels like she's #not trusted to be competent in this situation. whether or not she knows that ruby does it out of genuine care is a bit out there. #and being perceived as weak and not enough rlly. drives home again. that damned salamence incident. guh. #ok thats all i have in the brain #im such a big fan of these two and their cycle of doom until they both get like. three layers of therapy. #coughs blood pokespe oras arc you are awfully rushed but u do have some rlly neat points

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Hi Rachel,

How do you find songs for your character/story playlists?

ok so I have an extremely limited music taste because I’m resistant to change and new music makes me uncomfortable <3 (DESPITE MY WISHES) so I only listen to a roster of ~10 artists that I’ve collected in my pocket like lil shiny rocks over the last ~10 years. (I really wish I could listen to new music just casually but I need to invest my entire life into an artist lol—the difference is for songs everyone hears frequently on the radio or songs I used to listen to at my job when I was 16 which you’ll find in a lot of my Spotify playlists). The reason why is majorly autism but also I buy all my music and don’t stream haha (unless it’s for the Spotify playlists, see above), so it’s an investment!

My ~~artists:

Nothing But Thieves

The Strokes

Surf Curse

Current Joys

Daughter

Greyson Chance

Jeff Buckley

Julia Jacklin

Marika Hackman

Sarah Kinsley

Billie Eilish

Near Tears

Other artists I’m not as invested in now but that teenage me was so invested in that they also appear in playlists:

Ed Sheeran (chokehold on 13-yr-old Rachel)

Katy Perry (I actually… should buy her recent music)

Paramore (was going to put paramore up top because I own most of their discography haha but haven’t kept up with the new albums!)

Whitney

So when I make a playlist, I queue up iTunes and just go through the same 600 songs I’ve been listening to for the last ~10 years LMAO and go like “oh this is relevant!” and add it to the playlist.

What’s fun is seeing how those same songs hold different meanings for different characters as time goes on!

#asks #this reminds me to put more olivia rodrigo on the Spotify playlists #my 24 yr old brother is apparently obsessed with sour???? he is the main character #anyway if I decide someone is My Favourite I’m in it for life lol #they can just take my money every time new music is released etc #also very curious if most people buy or stream music!!! #I feel kind of ancient buying music now!!!! but I listen to it so often that it makes most sense that way! #I’m so jealous of people who can hit shuffle on a playlist and just enjoy the music #I want that to be me!!! you’re living my dream!!!!! #alas my brain says no we must be 100% or not at all #can you imagine what it’s like to be my family tho #they’ve been listening to the same songs on repeat for literally ten years HAHAHAHAHA #I’ve been listening to the same album every day 5x a day for 2 months straight #this is Rachelcore!!! #and NOOO ONE suspected I was autistic lmaooo #happy autism acceptance month baybeeee!!

[biteapple]

got this weird thing always where im always wondering if im a gay man or a bi dude-kinda or a bi girl-a-little-bit or a gay man-also-woman-a-bit, and its like. whenever im like "OKAYY I DONT CAREEEEE MAYBE I DO LIKE GIRLS" .... IMMEDIATELY my thoughts about liking women are gone like. when im trying to appease that. and then im like "hmm maybe i DONT like girls??" the thoughts about liking girls comes back

#and GENUINELY... COSMICALLY... if i really want to date a woman i would love to just allow this for myself. and am trying to #and whenever i try to its like ''yeah nevermind man it wasnt even anything'' #so when i do go ''oh okay i guess it was nothing'' the desire to like women comes back #and maybe its a case of ''putting it off the table makes me want it more'' .. but its like.. when i say ''ok im bi'' its gone. #its like hey. come back. what happened i said i liked it. gone. until i accept that its gone. and then its back. chameleon type shit #permanently grass-is-greener type of living... please.. #ALSO.... this happens with ''being a little bit of a girl'' because then im like ''ok cool man im a girl now. yup'' #but when i put this into action i HATE IT and VEHEMENTLY need to go back immediately #and then when i go back im like ''but what if i WASNT just a guy..... hmmm...'' #and its like that bit from courage the cowardly dog where baby muriel wants her mac and cheese 500 different ways #and is never happy when you give it to her #when i MOST think about ''being a girl who is bi'' is when i feel THE MOST like a gay man #& when i think about and put into practice ''being a gay man'' i CANNOT enjoy it due to the ''what ifs'' #its like i have to do a schrodinger's sexuality on myself #genuinely really dont mind what my sexuality and gender is as long as im happy and YET.... its like chasing my own tail with myself #its funny because what i do know is that i love masculine terms i love being he/him'd i love being called a man i love my body on t #but... ''what to call this other than blanketly 'transmasc'.. if anything'' and ''who do i wanna fuck about it'' are like going in circles #and NOT to say people need anything more specific than just being transmasc or just saying ''im gay'' or being blanketly queer or anything #and maybe i need to take a page from that if its giving me grief. but ... *gestures vaguely*

[frostluvrs]

thinking about how i’m going to struggle through watching raymew on my screen on saturday

#especially if ray’s delusional ass is going to be acting like he just won the superbowl #it really has nothing to do with sand or sandray btw i’ve just absolutely come to hate this storyline 😭😭 #why ? idk i think what it is is i just would rather they focus on ray’s character and his addiction in other ways #i’m not saying what i think they’re doing is bad writing bc it’s not i would just prefer it done differently sigh #hope it doesn’t last more than an episode bc honestly Do We Have Time to drag this out ? #also yes i said it has really has nothing to do with sand or sandray but i won’t pretend it doesn’t have a little to do with it but #i’ve come to accept sandray not being endgame and i don’t even know if i want them to be anymore but i do wish their angst moving forward #didn’t include mew and more so was focused on ray’s alcoholism #anyways i was really excited for the raymew storyline esp after ep 1 but i just stopped enjoying it #b speaks #bbep6