#but as you said the mystery parts themselves aren’t terrible they just aren’t satisfying either

[yourqueenb]

Out of all the mystery books on Choices, were there any that you found particularly fun and/or well written? I'm not sure if it's just me bcs it might be a matter of taste which is super subjective, but something about the way PB does mystery stuff feels kinda...lackluster? I'm not sure what exactly it is about their mystery books (like TUH and MAH), but while they're not necessarily terrible they usually don't feel super satisfying

It’s def not just you. Idk how many times I’ve talked about this, but PB can’t do mystery. I believe that 100%. Maybe in the very beginning they could because I remember enjoying Most Wanted. But I haven’t played it in forever. And all of their mystery books after that have been lackluster as you said. (And I do mean all of them, including VoS and CoP, which are fan favorites).

I think one of the issues is that they always feel the need to make us investigate whatever noble pursuit the person had along with their death. And they really play up the fact that the victim was basically a saint and loved by all. And it’s just like 9 times out of 10, I do not care. It gets annoying and old. One of the other issues is that they also always do the collectibles for clues and stuff. And it’s usually either that you need almost all of them to understand whodunnit, how, and why (see: TUH) or pretty much none of them because they’re actually just extra pieces of information that aren’t all that interesting (see: MaH). Of course the former is worse because paywalling plot/other important story aspects is flat out ridiculous. But the latter annoys me too because premium content should add something to the story, not just little factoids.

I think writing a mystery book is a balancing act. And we all know PB already struggles with balance outside of that. They don’t know how to set the stage, build intrigue, and stop throwing in red herrings to let the story come to a conclusion at the right time. Or if they do manage to build intrigue, they still can’t craft a proper twist that feels shocking but makes sense/is believable at the same time. So that’s why VoS had a good setting/all that suspense throughout, but fell flat in the end. And that’s also why MaH never really found it’s footing as a mystery to begin with imo.

Didn’t intend to write an essay, so last issue I’ll speak on is the fact that PB also rarely writes good villains/a good dynamic between the MC and the villain. I think what their mystery books are missing is the feeling that whatever we’re investigating is a puzzle that needs to be solved. And one of the ways they could create that is by writing both villains/antagonists and MCs who are actually intelligent and fun to go up against/play as! It’s usually that the villain is 10 steps ahead. And not because he/she is particularly crafty but because they dumb MC down to drag the story out for 16-20 chapters. CoP is an exception because MC was actually pretty smart, but we had the dumbass murderer and her even dumber minion. So I truly believe that if we had characters who didn’t just bumble their way through the story and were legitimately formidable adversaries to each other, we would have a lot more fun maneuvering around the obstacles/red herrings/etc. thrown at us and solving the mystery OR being surprised by the twist/resolution but able to pick up the breadcrumbs and connect the dots after it’s revealed

#choices #choices stories you play #playchoices #choices app #choices ask #of course they don’t *have* to do the whole ‘the villain is a mastermind’ thing to write a good mystery #Glass Onion is a prime example of that #but (excluding MW bc I don’t really remember what happened in that book at all) PB has never done an intelligent villain/MC combo— #— in their mystery books imo #so I just think that would be a lot of fun #but even if they never decided to do that there are still a number of things they could do differently #to make their mysteries not so mediocre #but I’ve been on my soapbox for long enough 😭 #I’ll just say that if it isn’t already clear I do not think any of PB’s recent mysteries are particularly well written anon #there are certain aspects that made them fun — namely the LIs and/or MCs #but as you said the mystery parts themselves aren’t terrible they just aren’t satisfying either #and I’ll also say again that MaH specifically should’ve been like a 5-7 chapter slasher that’s it

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 2X13 - Tiny

Hey, reader! Your TINY-ing couldn’t be better to check out my latest review! XD

Yeah, not my best pun, but it’s not too GIANT of a misstep! XD

COMEBACK!

Now go under the cut and read my review!

Press Release

Kidnapped and brought to Storybrooke by Cora, the Giant unleashes his vengeance on the town when a case of mistaken identity leads him to try and settle an old score with David; Mr. Gold, accompanied by Emma and Henry, attempts to depart Storybrooke - hoping to keep his memory intact when he crosses the town line – and heads to the airport in search of his son Bae; and Greg (Ethan Embry) questions Belle as to what she saw on the night of his car accident. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was and against his brothers’ wishes, Anton, the Giant, climbs down the beanstalk and attempts to befriend some humans - whose intentions may not be so noble. General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness Past I really like the conflict in this episode and how it relates to the present later on. We clearly know the outcome of Anton’s voyage to the human world, but Anton never feels like he’s being foolish in this flashback. Anton’s research, kind heart, and inquisitive nature are not being satisfied (And as often implied, even mocked and bullied) by his siblings. But, in that same token, they are not completely cast as bad either. Anton clearly cares for them, and his oldest sibling is shown to be wise in many ways and it’s his lesson of seeking another land that proves to be the key to Anton’s eventual happiness and livelihood in the present.

James’ and Jack’s plan is a great one. That plotting is devious. The staging of it all was well done enough that it doesn’t feel contrived, but understanding of the kind of person Anton is and malleable enough account for missteps. Just go back and watch the bar scene. James has his outburst at the guard just loud enough so that Anton hears him, and of course, Anton, the curious guy that he is, would ask about why. Jack just happens to bring up the subject of beans and while Anton can’t help her in that regard, what else are giants known for? Their treasure, something Anton can be far more generous with. And give him enough motivation and he’ll go right over there with the bare minimum security. It’s honestly one of the best and most underrated evil plans on the show. It’s simple, but intelligently suited to its victim. Present I love the Storybrooke section of this episode! Anton, while the antagonist in this segment to David’s protagonist story, is never made to be a bad guy because the entire time we’re with him attacking, we’re aware of his plight. Because of that, we want him to pull through and get along with everyone and the episode gives that emotional payoff while still ensuring that Anton does learn his lesson about humans. David is in his best form throughout the episode, kind and compassionate but not without his limits and Snow acts as a great source of support and friendship while Leroy rounds out the trio with his comedy and everyman presence in town (And later on, surprising amount of heart).

It’s so great to see the people of Storybrooke acting as a unit again during the rescue and aftermath of Anton. It reminds me of the efforts made in episodes like “A Still Small Voice” and it fits into the story well as a bulk of humans are able to prove themselves to Anton at once.

Also, let’s talk about the airport scenes, but it helps make this episode so memorable. The security scene is both so hysterical at first and so tense and terrifying once the shawl comes off, even after the safe resolution. That having been said, I will say, I wish things were a little bit clearer as to why Rumple was freaking out even after he retained his memories. I can’t help but feel like they were almost going to go for a different angle like actually having Rumple at one point revert to his cursed self (Note how Rumple places so much emphasis on how important it was for him to keep his true identity), but it was abandoned. Otherwise, what was the purpose of the freakouts because we only got a few seconds of waviness as he was crossing through security before getting the shawl back? I like the idea of Rumple freaking out over not having his magic for the first time since the curse broke and realizing that his mortality is back, but what brought it on and how it was handled was weird. All Encompassing This segment is also notable in the fact that not only is it Anton’s first and only centric, but it is the first time that we really see the distinctions between David and James. Before, we saw a bit of James before his death, but while bits of him can be understood with the aid of hindsight, but this is where the character was truly defined for the first time. Whereas David so often acts for the betterment of his people and even those who oppose him (to the point where he attempts to sacrifice himself for Storybrooke’s safety and then later endangers himself for Anton’s sake), James is only interested in himself and won’t lift so much as a finger to help someone if it puts him in danger. Insights - Stream of Consciousness -”I think layers are always a good idea!” Nice subtle showing of Mama Swan! -I don’t know why, but it cracks me up how Rumple’s covering the expenses of their trip! XD Charming summed it up best: “You’re a real gentleman, aren’t you?” -”This isn’t a threat, it’s a request. Take care of them.” Aww! I love that extra bit of Sheep Bros! And Rumple actually responds to it! -I like also how Rumple’s being much more overt to Emma and co about who it is he’s looking for. I’m going to call that a slight development in his emotional honesty. -David, I am with Snow. That holster looks great on you! -Regina needs to join the Storybrooke acting troupe alongside Killian, Cora, and Rumple. Actually, someone make a fic out of this! Please? -”And we’re sorry.” I love how Snow completely follows through on her resolve from the previous episode. -First Captain Charming scene! Yayyyyy!! Honestly, it’s just as perfect as I’d hoped it would be! -Not gonna lie, I don’t even think it’s a shipping thing, but seeing Killian flirt with Snow like he does by the cops doesn’t flow with me at all. It’s just creepy, and I feel bad saying that, but it just is for me. -I never realized before that The Jolly Roger is made from Enchanted Wood. That’s pretty cool! -Anton is an adorable little bean! -I just realized: Now that the realms are merged, is Anton essentially out of a job, or are the beans the equivalent of teleportation now? Like, if I want to visit Elsa from Granny’s, can I just throw a bean and be right there? And if so, then Anton is now a multi-millionaire and I just couldn’t be happier for the guy! -Watching this flashback makes me hate the flashback in “Flower Child” so forking much. Everything that is done wrong there is done right here. -Holy shirt! Anton can punch! Like, get him on the main team! -The set up of the mystery of why Anton hates David is a very well done one for as brief as it is. It gives the audience a moment to establish how Emma’s actions have shown Anton that some humans aren’t evil as well as the fact that Anton isn’t a bad guy, but showing a clear snapping point for him. -Red Beauty! Yayyyyyy! -Hospital staff: It’s probably not a great idea to have “Good Morning Storybrooke” playing when you have two patients who aren’t supposed to know about magic. -Awww! Ruby loves books too, and reads from Belle’s favorite author! She’s just too sweet! -”Why does everyone keep calling me that?” ...Because it’s your name and you haven’t said anything along the lines of “my name is Lacey.” Introduce yourself! -James just has no shame! He’s about to have sex, his dad comes in, and he’s practically about to continue on! -I feel so bad for Anton! He so has a crush on Jack, and Jack’s just...well, not the worst, but definitely in the top 50 worst. -”How terribly uncivilized.” Rumple, you used to live in a world without indoor plumbing. You’re one to talk! -”Have you ever been on a plane before?” Have you ever been impaled upon a cane before?” That is forking hysterical and will never not be! XD -”You father?” Rumple, you are close to a century older than Emma! Yeah, you could be her dad! XD -Has anyone ever commented on how there’s literally no reason for the shawl to go into the bin. It’s not metal. Am I missing something here? -I want that roasted pig so badly! -”You’re human. I hate humans.” Part of me is thrown a little off base with this line. On one hand, Anton does what humans, but when David, Snow, and Leroy found him, he was more relaxed. However, I’m willing to waive it off to him getting his bearings upon waking up in a strange land. -Oh, shirt! Rumple can’t heal himself! BLOODY HELL! XD -That light is so unflattering for Robert right in the bathroom scene. -The entire conversation between Anton, David, and Snow concerning Emma and James is hysterical. As far as miscommunication scenarios go on this show, this is one of the best. And the follow up conversation between David, Snow, and Leroy over David’s name is equally so! XD -Don’t worry, Anton! Just HOLE-d on! XD -Awww! Look at Anton learning how to use a pickaxe! Anton, never change! Arcs - How are These Storylines Progressing? Regina’s Redemption - It is so hard to watch as Regina double crosses everyone in this episode. I don’t think it’s poorly done, and MM and David’s lines about not needing Regina’s say about Henry make the betrayal a well set up ad effective one. It builds well off of the last couple of episodes and while a touch accelerated around this part, I do think that the overall pacing works here. The People of Storybrooke Going Home - So this arc was really introduced during “The Cricket Game,” I believe. So far, I’m not sure how well it’s being set up, but I will say that this is the clearest the the arc itself has been defined since its inception. Favorite Dynamic David and Anton - David’s interactions with Anton are a true testament to his kindness and leadership abilities. Anton punches him in the face and refuses to cooperate with any attempts David makes to reason with him and yet David simply doesn’t give up on helping him the right way because of who he is. Additionally, how he rallies the entire town together for that same cause is inspiring. He knows the damage his “father” did and he wants those affected by him in any way (even through his progeny) to be helped, no matter what it takes. And on Anton’s side, just like with Emma, he’s receptive to that kindness and the belief in David doesn’t come from just simple information or evidence, but from David’s straight-up actions of offering himself up as a sacrifice and later saving him, and that’s so amazing! Writer Christine Boylan and Kalinda Vazquez are “Tiny’s” writers, and this is a great team up. The pacing of this episode feels very good, moving so that things aren’t rushed, but the stories remain flowing. Additionally, the framing of the writing is quite intricate, careful to not make anyone a bad guy but to also direct the sympathy where it is deserved. Additionally, the manner of Anton’s forgiveness (Both to him and from him) is expertly handled through the actions of the entire town saving Anton from the hole and him helping everyone grow beans. Rating 10/10. I love this episode’s story. Anton is a likable and layered character to follow and his journey with Ruth’s twins across the two timelines is equally layered. The story itself is very lowkey in comparison to some of our previous episodes, and it’s a welcome change of pace! It’s a super simple, yet quite detailed character story that allows for a lot to be done with James, Snow, Charming, and Leroy’s characters. Seeing all of these characters build off one another is what Once Upon a Time does best and the hearty story makes it all the better. While I didn’t find the storytelling at the airport to be as airtight (pun always intended) as the other segments (Ergo, why this isn’t a Golden Apple), the scenes on their own can be super entertaining (Especially EVERYTHING with Rumple in the first half of the security scene). Flip My Ship - Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness” Snowing - It’s just really nice seeing Snow and David working together! They’re so supportive and protective of each other, ranging from hugs to verbally helping each other during discussions with Anton, Hook, and each other over the differences between David and James. Snow and Charming are always expressing their love in some way, and it’s so subtly heartwarming. And hearing Snow talk about how she had fun today and missed their little adventures as she dances around him and the sidewalk is just great! Grumpy Giant - Freakin’ hollythecurious got me into the swing of this ship, and I love it and her for introducing it to me! XD Look at Grumpy’s adoring looks as he helps Anton get settled in to life in Storybrooke and how forward he is with his assistance. This is Grumpy we’re talking about and he’s rarely as likely to take the initiative in regards to introducing people to the town. And dammit, it’s so cute! Hell, he even moves the dwarves’ entire workforce to help Anton grow beans and calls them “our crop!” ()()()()()()()()() Thanks for reading and to the fine and fantastic folks at @watchingfairytales for their continued support and the project!

Wow! this season’s going great, but wow am I tired! Writing these long ash reviews is exhausting! You know what I could use? A drink. How about a Manhattan? ;)

See you next time.

Season 2 Tally (114/220) Writer Tally for Season 2: Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis: (29/60) Jane Espenson (25/50) Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg (24/50) David Goodman (16/30) Robert Hull (16/30) Christine Boylan (17/30) Kalinda Vazquez (20/30) Daniel Thomsen (10/20)

Operation Rewatch Archives

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 2x13 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat

[bookmarathon]

2. the handmaid’s tale

“There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from.”

rating: 8.8/10 veils

quick summary: In the near/far future, extremist Christians have taken over and forced women into subjugation. They can be Wives, Econowives, Handmaids, Marthas, or worst of all, Unwomen, but in any case they are intended to be silent and exist for men. Our protagonist, who’s been named Offred (because her Commander’s name is Fred), is a Handmaid, which means her job is to get pregnant by whoever her the Commander of her house is. She remembers a past before she was brought from house to house as a Handmaid, and even before she was indoctrinated at the Center - she remembers a husband, a daughter, and her best friend Moira. Offred has a complicated life with the other men and women in her house. She wants to rebel, but isn’t sure who to trust or if she quite has the nerve for it. 

highs: 

relevant & important themes about women and freedom

The reason I wrote near/far future in the quick summary was because it really does feel like it could be either. I can’t believe that Atwood wrote this book in 1984 and it still feels so modern, which is a testament to her writing but also to deep flaws in our society, sigh (whaddya know, there are still a lot of people who think women should just focus on having kids and be generally more quiet and demand less equality). The idea about freedom in the quote above is an interesting one that readers are asked to consider: that the more free will people are allowed to have, the less free they are of certain dangers. It’s also a chilling look at how fear can be used to manipulate people, to change the way they think and act. An extremist knows how to take a reasonable fear, like disease and contamination leading to less chances of pregnancy/successful births, and somehow make people believe that an unreasonable solution, like making women’s sole purpose to conceive and not allowing them to be distracted by other things like jobs and reading, is the only justifiable course of action. When a person lives a passive life, when they are defined by another person (in this case, men), it’s hard for them to have much power. What will people do to feel like they have power? 

a thoughtful, sensitive, complex main character

The way Offred thinks is captivating. I love her habit of thinking in chains of random facts that she notes have no relation to each other. Her contemplations on whether she is in or out or even through time are also very memorable. The subjects that swim in and out of her thoughts constantly and the words she uses to think about them make her pain tangible. Additionally, I like that Offred wasn’t perfect. For example, the husband she reminisced on was the result of an affair. She also later (spoiler!) loses sight of her desire to escape when she starts to get attached to Nick. She’s not quite as bold or brave as her friend Moira, but she’s smart and endearing. She looks at situations and tries to think beyond her own perspective. She’s honest about her own emotions and doesn’t try to repress them even when they’re not quite so honorable. These kinds of main characters feel more real and more believable to me than selfless-hero types. 

no one antagonist, imo

This kind of reminds of how after the Holocaust, people at every level of the Nazi Party said that they were just following orders, and it was kind of confusing as to how many levels down we thought they were appeased of guilt. It’s hard to pinpoint one specific antagonist here. Serena, or the Wives? Well, we can see why they’re bitter about being deemed useless as women. The Commander? For the most part he keeps to himself; when he interacts with the women it’s pretty much always dictated by laws intended to raise the population. He also tries to break the rules a little bit. Aunt Lydia, or another Aunt? Even though they’re enforcing and teaching terrible rules, there’s also just a level of pity for a woman who so frequently degrades women for a living. Even sadder if she truly believes it. All the other possible people at fault, the mysterious guards or Angels or higher-ups or whoever, aren’t really given a face or role in The Handmaid’s Tale. They feel far away. It seems like the people around Offred, whether they’re supporting her or conspiring against her, are just acting the way they are because that’s the only way they can bear to live. They need to convince themselves that they’re in control, that they have some power in this life, by pretending they are superior, or that they’re acting from a moral place, or removing themselves from seeing any consequences of their actions. There’s at least one point for every character in the novel I didn’t like when it seemed like they recognized what they were doing wasn’t right, but just tried to cope with the position they’d been given. There are so many different roles needed to maintain the current system of oppression, and I can’t pin the blame on just one person, so it sort of becomes like...everyone’s responsibility? Even Offred, a little bit, for letting herself become passive and accustomed to this way of life. But can we blame her, or any of them, for what they do? Who deserves more blame? I don’t think I can answer, and I like that, because it presents a more complex view of how such a terrible government could rise and retain power. 

an ending that gives hope but not a definitive outcome

This is actually really embarrassing- I didn’t actually realize there was an epilogue to this book at first, so at first I actually docked a full point for the way it ended because I thought there was no resolution at all. I felt like the book would have been better if the van had either been to truly take her away and kill her, or if it had been part of the resistance. Like, I didn’t think it needed to go further than that, but I feel like the audience deserved to know that much - one choice would have sent a message maybe about the futility of resisting and importance of being careful, the other choice a message of hope for the future and peoples’s tendency to fight injustice. But when I found the epilogue that all changed! The epilogue is narrated by a keynote speaker at a convention about Gilead, past-tense. So this actually makes it okay that we don’t get to see what happens to Offred. That whether she did or didn’t get to be part of the resistance isn’t as important, because we know that somehow, some people did, because Gilead no longer exists. And her story is just one of many. I’m really satisfied with that ending. I don’t need books to tell me exactly what happens, but I like a sliver of resolution and I’m satisfied with this hope that people were able to break out of Gilead and make it something archaic, something to be studied. 

lows:

slightly little confusing worldbuilding

I see the value of slowly acclimating a reader to a new world, but I wish The Handmaid’s Tale had been a little quicker. Perhaps a solid chunk explaining the Marthas, Econowives, Salvaging, etc.? I didn’t find myself fully confident that I’d grasped some of those concepts until near the late middle of the book. At that point it wasn’t fun to try and piece together clues in my mind anymore, it was just frustrating because I had vague ideas but I couldn’t be 100% certain they were right. I get that Offred wouldn’t have been like the narrator of the epilogue, someone who studied Gilead and could explain the society in a scholarly way, but I feel that it wouldn’t have been hard for Atwood to make it a little easier for us without taking away from Offred’s narrative. 

tl;dr: This was a thought-provoking read. The power for me was more in the themes and ideas rather than any specific writing style. It was a little confusing at some points, but the message is strong and timely enough that it comes through even when you don’t understand all the details.

#bookblr #book review #book recs #books #the handmaid's tale #margaret atwood #offred #june? #moira #2/? #book marathon #book to book #back to back

[zenosanalytic]

Zenofriend did you see the New Amplified Official Homestuck Personality quiz????? what are!!! your thoughts!!!

Ok! This is VERY LATE, but I am finally ready to give My Extended Zodiac Thoughts. This is Long :|:

First off, I found the possible answers really limited and limiting. For example #7 -Which option best describes what’s more important to you? Understanding yourself, and fully knowing who you are? Or thinking rationally, and making strong decisions?-is a false choice/dichotomy. Leaving aside the questionable adjective-choice of “strong”(I mean: wth does a “strong” decision even mean???), rational decisions require information, and the more the better; specifically, they require knowing yourself. To make a “rational” choice is to make a choice from reasoning, which is to say “based on reasons” using “Reason”(working from one point to that which it implies). If you are unaware of yourself and your interiority -your biases, your wants, your tendencies, your susceptibilities, your emotions, your impulses, your psychological needs, etc- then you can’t make rational decisions because you aren’t aware of, and aren’t considering, how the “irrational” architecture of your personality and behavior could be influencing your reasoning, nor are you making explicit(to yourself or others) the full set of potential reasons for why you are making the decision the way you are. Indeed, not only are these two NOT opposite extremes and NOT mutually exclusive, they are mutually Necessary. Just as one must “know thyself” to rationally know the world and rationally navigate it, so too must one be able to look at oneself rationally -to dispassionately assess oneself as a subject, as if with the eyes of another; judging your behavior, wants, and biases as a stranger might- to “understand yourself and fully know who you are”. Meaning to do good is irrelevant if you do harm and, if your concept of “good” requires the harm of another, then obviously they will not judge you as “good” and you will not be good, regardless of how you feel about it. The true answer to this question is that you can’t achieve either without achieving both, but that doesn’t fit into the simplistic(and sadly too common in Euroculture) Manichean dualism this quiz is built around -in this instance that emotion/interiority is the opposite of “Reason”/Intellect. And, more broadly, that the specific/practical and general/ideal are at odds- and so it isn’t a choice.

Many of the available answers to the questions are equally limited; some by false dichotomy, some by, just, insufficient choice-scope:

In #6: what if the result sought by the project is learning the process??? 

In #2: what if you prefer to help people learn through the Socratic method; by asking questions? Are you showing them, in that you are modeling for them the process of reasoning their way to an answer with the information available to them, or are you encouraging them, in that you are asking them to collate the information they have and extrapolate from it and doing so non-explicitly?

 #1: what if you see yourself as a protagonist of your story, but also understand that everyone sees themselves as the protagonist of their own story? What if you see “Society” as the emergent, evolutionary outcome of an inevitable “Egotism of Being” coming into contact with innumerable iterations of Self? What if you conceive of your existence as fundamentally lonesome but also of society not as a natural and essential aspect of environment, but as a natural and essential aspect/expression of personality, such that the equal personhood of all “characters” is inescapable, such that “lonesomeness” is a social act/choice just as much as “ensembleness”, and such that “protagonism” can only be understood as a purely narrative conceit and choice? These povs don’t really fit with the choices available.

#3: can’t it be both things? Can’t mystery inspire you to both learn and invent? Can’t learning lead to the realization of new mysteries, which is part of why Curiosity is so satisfying to you in the first place?

#8: to understand the consequences of your behavior is to understand your potential; to understand your potential is to understand what consequences your behavior can effect.

#9: What if your strong convictions are precisely what drives you to deconstruct arguments which said convictions deem inaccurate, limited, and poorly reasoned? What if you deconstruct arguments not because you find them particularly offensive, but because you hold a strong conviction that “Knowledge” is much more difficult or complicated than people tend to think it is, ala Socrates, or even impossible to attain by your own efforts, ala Medieval Christendom and anti-empiricism? “Can’t Decide” implies an ambiguity, indecisiveness, and moral disinterest in the question that would be inaccurate to these mindsets.

#10: doesn’t choosing “burn it all down” imply that one considers “burning it all down” to be a “better” state than the status quo? Wouldn’t it, then COUNT, as “A Plan” and “something better” waiting in the wings??

#11: what if your desire to help others is driven by an instinctive empathy and moral-revulsion towards situations which cause suffering, and allowing suffering to continue? The answers frame the choices as in opposition and empathy as something either to prevent or which prevents action, rather than compelling it.

Ok I’ll stop, but you get the idea.

Second, I thought the lean of each question was really obvious; to the point that you could practically score each available answer along a scale between the two binary choices the question engaged with(probably because this is exactly how the test works). The result of this is that the Test is easily gamed, and thus not really “impartial” or “rigorous” in any way. This is somewhat complicated by the test’s Built in Biases(Hat Tip to @the-awkward-goldfish for chasing this down), which basically require you to “no opinion” every non-Aspect-related questions to get anything “below” Light, but even that just goes to show how partial and contrived the test is, and thus how bad an assessment of one’s “Nature”, or affinity to the Aspects as presented in canon, it provides.

Which, you know, OBVIOUSLY -it really isn’t MEANT to be those things(well, one could reasonably expect it to be decent at Aspect-Affinity)- but this is a central problem of “personality tests” in general, and I’m going to rant about it for a second. When a test asks about The Thing it appears to be asking about, Social Animals will give it either a)the answer they think it wants, b)the answer they feel fulfills their social “role” in the test/situation, c)the answer they would like to be true about themselves(or would like you to think is true about them), or d)the answer they feel creates the least social stress in the situation, rather than an honest answer. Similarly, test-makers will, with stupefying regularity, render their own biases implicit within the tests they create if collaboration and strict oversight are not a part of the test design process. This is because Social Animals are Social Animals, and part of being Social Animals is 1)a near-instinctive awareness of The Rules of whatever Social “Game” happens to be being playing at any moment, and 2)an instinctive desire to project ones personal “Rules” onto the world[1]. This makes gaining an honest assessment of Social Animals(and even asking Honest Questions about them), independent of their own objectives and social assumptions, difficult. This is why modern psych studies are neither upfront about what they’re really studying, nor obvious in their design, and why the question of Method and Test-Design is so important to the field.

None of this matters when personality tests are seen as just A Fun Thing to Play With, but unfortunately lots of people take them really seriously(I will not speculate as to why), so I kinda feel like the huge biparagraphic spiel above about social psychology and why it means personality tests are A Crock is sort of necessary. Though, Ironically and completely tangentially, this also all means that the ominous and impenetrable Voight-Kampff machine and Turing Test it is used to administer from Bladerunner are actually closer to what an “accurate” psychological test should look like than most of the “personality tests” people are familiar with.

Third, I found the Test really unsatisfying from a canon-perspective. Some of them fit, others kind of fit but with important provisos, and others are just wildly far off. For example:

Sagittarius. Equius might count as an enthusiast, but inconstant? His interests are long-term and rigid. Expansive? He is self-effacing to the point of suicide. Magnetic? Everyone but Nepeta and Gamzee find him repulsive(though Aradia is attracted, at times, by her disgust for him). Rebellious? 8/ Optimistic? 8/ 8/ Surprising? 8/ 8/ 8/ Not Knowing his own Strength? He obsesses over it. Skeptical? He accepts Alternian Convention without question or complaint(Aradia being the notable semi-exception). Secretive? While he doesn’t put himself forward, neither does he keep his opinions -no matter how offensive- to himself, ever. A stronger argument could be made for this description fitting Roxy, but even then she’s rather single-minded and constant in her interests and feelings, and, contra the description of Derse-dreamers, not terribly self-aware, as symbolized by her dream-self -a metaphor for her self-knowledge- being asleep, albeit ambulatory, until she dies(minus seeing Rose once). Her most important arcs are about seeking answers, not accepting mysteries(Rose and Calliope).

Sagiries&Sagipia: Again, the Sagittarius description, specifically the “enthusiast” and “inconstant” bits, don’t really fit either Dave or Rose. While they ARE “enthusiastic” about their interests, those interests are rather constant, focused, and rather than trying to teach or pull others into those interests, they display them through creative endeavor. “Derse” fits them both pretty well, minus the “self-awareness”, and their approach to hiding insecurity is the opposite of “self-deprecating humor” and “false humility”; they do it through “evincing hyper-competence” and “false arrogance”. Dave is certainly a “Fighter”, but against Fighting, and while he can be goal-oriented he much prefers perambulation, even to the point of contributing to problems which he then must rush to fix. Really I’d say the description for Space fits him better than Time(though this Time description entirely ignores the repeated recycling/recontextualizing/remixing theme in Time characters in HS). Light fits Rose better, but it ignores how her interest in mystery and the unexplained drives her interest in learning, how personal and not “for its own sake” her seeking is, and how actual knowledge can petrify her if she is in the wrong place emotionally.

Sagigo: This is nitpicking, but I wouldn’t describe Jade as “careless”, and she, mostly successfully, struggles to remain tactful in the face of universe-ending levels of buffoonery and extra-amphibian-interference.

Leo: Again, Nitpicking, but I don’t think Nepeta can be described as having herself as her “favorite subject”. I think the rest fits well though

Gemini: Sollux isn’t preachy, nor railroady in conversation, nor difficult to understand, and his interests -at least what we see of them- are all about computers, networks, and the internet. The description of Doom I’m iffy on: it certainly describes him, but his willingness to drop everything and dedicate himself to a project he believed would save his planet, even though he hates it, doesn’t really fit with it.

Pisces: “Forget to actually do things”, “enigmatic”, “recalcitrant”(i.e., not being open about their feelings), “worrier”, and “trouble with follow-through”, are not things I would describe Feferi with. Meenah clashes even worse with this description.

Scorpio: “Blue Signs are the ones to watch”? Yes for Vriska, Aspirational for Aranea. “Those bound to the aspect of Light are the universe’s knowledge-seekers. They are, above all, driven to learn and understand”? “learn about it” certainly, but I don’t think either Vriska or Aranea feel any real impulse to understand anything. They’re more about hoarding information and manipulating it to their advantage/purposes, and Vriska’s interest in knowledge is highly selective, personal, and instrumental. “Marked by a flexible optimism”? For a given, and extremely idiosyncratic, definition of “optimism”; and provided it allows for bouts of deep negativity, and an intense, arrogant cynicism about the world and others. “They have a mask for every occasion”?More so for Aranea given he secretiveness about herself, but Not Really for either of them as Aranea really just has the one. “They often resent those they see as more well-positioned than they are”? This fits Aranea well, but I never got the sense Vriska was envious of her “social betters”; she seemed to be more envious of people with healthier relationships to less overbearing Lususes, and who had an easier time forging relationships.

I’m not going to go through all of these obvsl. There are those -like John’s, Terezi’s, and Kanaya’s- that fit near-to-perfectly, and those -like Eridan’s- that fit thematically while being wildly off-base on the specifics, but mostly I found them disappointing.

Fourthly, I object to it aesthetically. The signs are well designed; what I mean is that I very much dislike the idea that this is a complete Troll Symbology. If it were, it would make the Troll world and society much smaller and less creative than I would like it to be. There’s not enough signs here for a population as large as the Trolls would need to support a galaxy-spanning empire, and certainly not enough for sign-repetition in the context of such a vast population to be so rare as to become a mythical sign of genetic reincarnation. There’s not enough room here for imagination and invention. Part of what I liked about the Homestuck Fandom, and still like, is the empty places in it for the fandom to fill in. Presenting this as a complete list of signs, based on a complete Hemospectrum(and yes, I also object to the canon Trolls having the only canon blood-colors; minus Lime which apparently Karkat is now, which doesn’t make any sense[2]), makes the Homestuck Universe a far, far, smaller pond to swim in, which is less fun from a fan perspective.

And it also, through the “True Sign” designations, makes the canon Trolls far larger and more obvious fish than they(minus Feferi and Kanaya) ought to be. If the rest of the signs are seen as derivative of the “True Signs”, as the phrase and the EZ’s naming conventions imply, and the signs are associated with specific ancestors, then it’s reasonable to assume that the Ancestors associated with those signs would be seen as “Truer”, or perhaps more Significant and Primary to Troll History, than the ancestors of the other signs. Those who inherited them would then be inheriting not just the unfinished business of their immediate predecessor, but a historical heritage that every Troll would be taught to consider “Truer” and “More Significant” to Trolldom than that of the other signs. I don’t like this idea. The Betas were hardly social coded in a way that would have made them completely representative of Earthican culture, so why would the Trolls? And also: why wouldn’t any of the signs bear any resemblance to their writing? But this is getting into worldbuilding :T

So, basically, I think it’s a fun thing to play around with. But, I also find it a bit inconsistent, more than a bit biased, a bit limited, somewhat backwards and somewhat derivative(all signs derived from 12 prefixes and suffixes, themselves derived from the Earth-Zodiac, which was only made up of the signs of those Trolls who played The Game? Really??). As additional fan-fodder, it’s ok; as something comprehensive that invalidates fan-signs and fan-theories, I take exception.

[1]a weird sort of “Personification”. Coincidentally, we also see this in philosophy, where the pronouncement that moral decisions “declare a rule for all” can be found from Kant to Sartre.

[2]”Candy-Red Blood” is a mutation. It isn’t natural. Which is to say: It doesn’t fit into the Hemospectrum. The “Signless” had no sign because of this. So the idea that it would be the “True” Cancer symbol, rather than a later addition so insignificant that the breeding-bureaucracy didn’t even notice when it was snuck into the registry, is doubly ludicrous. Also: Why would the breeding registry 1)not notice a new Lime sign being added when the Lime Bloods were exterminated, and 2) not immediately destroy the grub when it was assigned the sign of a blood-caste registered for extermination? How is giving a mutant blood a caste-sign that would get them immediately destroyed any better than them not having one??

#witchknights #Homestuck #The Extended Zodiac #HS Analysis #zA's Pompous Philosophizing #ask replies

[a-weird-rusted-android]

Yugi has 2 names as his soul mark and one of them is his own.

Thank you for the prompt! I wasn’t sure what ot3 you wanted exactly so I went with Flareshipping, I hope that’s what you like!

Ifyour soulmate was already born when you were, their name was on yourarm since birth. If they were born later than you, their name wouldappear at that point.

Yugi'ssoul mark had perplexed everyone when he was born. Not kanji, norletters of any alphabet anyone could think of. A dark stain on hisarm, a blur. No matter how much he tried, once he knew how to read,he couldn't find any real shape to it.

Unusual,but less strange, was how a few months after his birth a second nametook shape right underneath the blur. Having multiple soulmateswasn't too common, but not unheard of.

Yugiwas ten when that name started itching. No matter how much hescratched his arm, the itching just wouldn't subside. Yugi wasgetting rather annoyed with this Seto, more so than withwhoever had just left a shapeless stain on his arm.

Then,the kanji of his last name started blurring, before reforming,completely different from they had been at first.

Grandpatold him sometimes a person changed name, and once they startedthinking of themselves as that new name, their soulmate's mark wouldchange.

Yugiwasn't sure why would one's name change, but he supposed he wouldhave to get used to calling him Kaiba Seto now.

***

Hisarm began that infernal itching again at sixteen. At first he didn'tthink too much of it, sometimes it happened that the wrappings hekept around his marks were just particularly itchy.

Butit was terribly intense, and after a while he started to connect itto those days Seto had changed name.

Hetook off the bandages as soon as he got home. He didn't see why wouldSeto change name again, so perhaps it was the other one.

Oncethe bandages were off, he expected to see something that would makemore sense than his old stain.

Instead,Mutou Yugi stared back at him from his arm.

Yugiwanted to scream.

Whydid his soul marks like to torture him?

First,Kaiba Seto. Yugi had very nearly choked on his own spit whenhe realized it was the name of one of his classmates.

Exceptthe guy was at school maybe once a week and he never even looked inYugi's direction, not even to taunt him like almost everyone did. Andno way Yugi was brave enough to even try and approach Kaiba. At thispoint, either Kaiba wasn't his soulmate or he was straight up ashamedof Yugi.

AndYugi still hadn't quite made peace with that, but now it appeared hissecond soulmate was none other than himself. Just perfect.

Helooked at the newly completed Puzzle dangling from around his neck.Was the thing really magical and had it decided to mess with him? Atthis point, nothing would surprise him anymore.

***

Unlessit turned out he had developed a second personality. Or that a spiritwas possessing him, he didn't know what was less likely.

Buthe had known his black outs weren't normal even before he and hisfriends became aware of this second Yugi that appeared at times. Onethat was confident and self-assured and fearless, basically the polaropposite of Yugi.

Yugididn't want to think what exactly it would mean for his soulmate tobe this other himself, but there was no denying he was likely theonly other Mutou Yugi he would ever meet.

Atleast he didn't seem like a bad person. From what he could piecetogether, he only ever appeared when Yugi or his friends were indanger and he protected them, so Yugi supposed it wasn't too bad.

***

HisOther Self didn't really like Kaiba. Even without being able toreally communicate yet, Yugi could at times feel some sort ofcontempt, irritation, that wasn't exactly his, when he was thinkingabout it.

Notthat Yugi liked him either. He was cold, cruel, and generallyunpleasant. He pitied him, because if what Mokuba told him abouttheir past was true, then Kaiba had to have suffered a lot to becomelike that, but it didn't change the fact Yugi didn't really want tohave anything to do with him ever again.

Butmaybe, he thought once the deal with Pegasus was over, whatever hisOther Self had done to him, as drastic as it had been, had managed tobrush away that layer of hate Kaiba had wrapped himself in.

Notcompletely, that was for sure, but in part. Enough for what goodthere was in him to resurface and hold onto his younger brother likehis life depended on it.

***

Ifhaving his own name on his arm before had been weird, it wasdefinitely wrong now.

HisOther Self was Mutou Yugi only because he didn't know how tobe someone else. Because he hadn't been anyone at all before Yugicompleted the Puzzle.

Yugihad half expected his arm to start itching again after Battle City,but the name stayed the same. It made sense it wouldn't, he supposed.Pharaoh or whatever other title could be what his soulmatewas, but not who he was. It was simply a title, one that was stillforeign for both of them.

Hehad accepted that his soul mark indicated the spirit that had takenresidence in his mind, it had been almost comforting to know someonewho was meant for him was going to always be with him. But now thathe knew the truth the name was just a reminder of how much his OtherSelf was and had suffered.

Andof how selfish it had been of him, to think he could just claimsomeone's whole soul like that.

"You'rehurting," came the voicewithin his head.

Yugifroze. His thumb had been unconsciously stroking his name on hisskin. They had nevermentioned what it meant for them before, even if both of them knew."I'm fine."

"Youaren't." A pause."I'm sorry."

"It'snot your fault."

"Itis." His Other Self's tonewas unusually soft. "I wish you didn't have to gothrough this. You deserved better than, well, this."

"Don'tspeak like that about yourself. You are one of the best people Iknow."

"Thankyou."

Yugiswallowed. "Anyway, would you say you are worse than thealternative?" he asked, hoping for a joking tone, trying tobreak the mood that had settled over them.

"Well,he's not as bad as he used to be," hisOther Self said diplomatically.

"Yes.But he's still arrogant and rude. And he hates me."

HisOther Self laughed. "He's obsessed with you!"

"No,he's obsessed with you. I'm just an unfortunate presence he can'tavoid."

"Hestill insists we're the same person, so he's obsessed with you aswell," his Other Self said.

Yugismiled a little. "I suppose."

***

Atem.

Theindividual hieroglyphs were still a mystery to him, but he knewexactly what they were meant to read as.

Hewas supposed to be happy for his Other- for Atem. He had had monthsnow, to prepare to when he would be gone.

Butpeople hadn't been lying when they said few things could hurt morethan losing your soulmate. Yugi was almost surprised not to see agaping hole in his chest when he looked down at himself.

Hewondered what did Atem's arm look like in the Afterlife. Would he seethe kanji of his name, and of Kaiba's?

Didit hurt Atem too, to be alone in his head?

***

"Youaren't serious," Yugi said.

WhenKaiba had invited him to his office to discuss business, he hadthought he wouldn't have to hear any new crazy idea. But this wasKaiba, and Yugi didn't know why he should even be surprised. To thinkhe had believed Kaiba had managed to get over Atem's loss.

"Iam. We have things to settle."

Yugiwasn't one for physical violence, but Kaiba had the rare ability tomake him want to throttle him. "You aren't trying find a way totravel to the Afterlife and back just because you wanted a duel."

"Itwould be very satisfying to find a way to bend the rules of theuniverse at my will," Kaiba said.

"No,that's not what I." Yugi took a deep breath. "Kaiba. Wouldit hurt you so much to think maybe, maybe you miss him?"

"Hewas a good rival."

"Ican duel you just as well as he did, this isn't about needing someonewho is as skilled as you are."

Kaibaglared at him. "Then what would it be about?"

Yugihesitated. This was going to be like threading on ice. It was aconversation that needed to happen, but more planning would have beenbetter. "You like him. As a person, not just as a duelist."

Kaibajust kept glaring.

"AndI'd love to see him again as well, and I'm not trying to stop youfrom going on with this, you wouldn't anyway. But it's not healthy tokeep denying things like this."

"I'mnot sure what you are talking about, but I have survived until now,didn't I?"

"Youknow exactly what I'm talking about." Kaiba's eyes darted for asecond to Yugi's arm, a barely there action he probably hadn'tmanaged to control. "And as good as you might be at pretendingthings you don't like aren't-"

Yugitrailed off. A realization just hit him.

"What?"Kaiba asked.

"Youhad the same name twice. That's why you didn't believe we were twodifferent people," Yugi said. Why had he never thought of itearlier? It was so obvious.

Kaibalooked about to punch him for a moment. Then he said, as if someonewas dragging the words out of him by force, "can you blame me?"

"Notreally," Yugi conceded.

"Nowthat you made me acknowledge this, can we never talk about it again?"

"MaybeI want to talk about it again." Kaiba made to open his mouth,but Yugi interrupted him. "Listen, we don't have to date oranything. I can, I don't know, duel you if you want?"

"Why?Are you telling me that's all you want?"

"No.But I can compromise."

Yugifeared Kaiba would physically throw him out of his office as hewaited for him to answer his offer.

"Fine,I'll humor you," he sighed eventually.

Yugibeamed.

"ButI'm still making that travel."

"I'mvery tempted to ask you for a ride, just so you know."

Kaibashook his head, apparently tired of talking with him. "You areinsufferable."

"Iguess we are made-"

"Saythat and I will hit you, Mutou," Kaiba growled.

#ask #Anonymous #flareshipping #puzzleshipping #rivalshipping #yugioh #awra does stuff

[vorthosjay]

Let’s Talk About Hour of Devastation

It’s finally here: Hour of Devastation by Ken Troop. This story has a lot of baggage to work through, being the pivotal moment that shifts the Gatewatch from their ‘Phase 1′ to ‘Phase 2′. If you’ve ever wondered if Wizards realized the problems inherent in the Gatewatch, this story should settle all doubt.

It’s fun. We certainly get better insight into Nicol Bolas than any time in the last ten years, but if you were looking for resolution to any lingering plot threads, they’re not here. And that’s kind of disappointing.

This is a LONG one, people, so settle in.

Hour of Devastation by Simon Dominic

Either he would have deaths, screams, and blood, or he would, perhaps, have something better.

Okay, so the first thing we have to get out of the way is that we don’t have resolutions to those lingering Bolas threads between Alara and Amonkhet. On that front, this story is very unsatisfying.

This is the first of the new mysteries that we’ll be tracking going forward. Why does Bolas want the Gatewatch broken and in the wild? I have enough faith in the post-Origins team setting up for the long term that I think there’s something planned there... but will it be satisfying when it pays off?

They fancied themselves The Gatewatch. As though for some bizarre reason there were gates scattered throughout the Multiverse. That deserved watching.

And here is the beginning of Bolas disassembling everything about the Gatewatch. Bolas is exposing those obvious flaws in the Gatewatch.

Why does Bolas want heroes out in the wild? What possible reason could it serve?

The heroes, Nicol Bolas thought. Bless them, each and every one.

I didn’t know Nicol Bolas was from the south.

No matter. There were others, if need be.

Who? The Takewatch, maybe :D

His roar echoed the cries of countless other predators throughout the eons, predators who have no more need to be silent. Over the long years, Nicol Bolas knew it served him poorly to be too much the dragon. But it was no fun to be the dragon too little.

This is so relatable.

Oh, they probably had a plan. A plan, charitably, could consist of kill the dragon. Or, you burn it, you zombie it, you elemental it, you illusion it, you block it. These were all, given enough leeway, plans. And plans of similar competence had served them well enough in their recent escapades. Nicol Bolas could appreciate efficiency. Why bother being smart when the Multiverse so conveniently conspired to keep your idiocy alive?

This story is more or less Bolas reading directly from the storyline forums.

He wondered how much it would crush their spirits if he applauded. Metaphorically, of course. His talons did not clap together well.

Look, for all that I wished we’d have learned some whys in this story, Bolas is great. He chews exactly how much scenery I would expect him to. He is both witty and terrifying.

More than several, ideally, but unless you are a brilliant elder dragon archmage planeswalker, several would suffice.

That’s a heck of a creature type.

They were children of a civilized and gelded age, these planeswalkers, this Gatewatch. They had no idea of the dangers lying in wait, ready to kill them . . . or worse. Their lack of actual power had somehow protected them from all the ways they could have died.

Catch that he says gelded, not gilded? I missed it the first time and it was John Dale Beety on twitter that made me notice it.

He’s referring to the relative safety of the post-Mending era. How things have seemed to be calm because evil god-like planeswalkers aren’t being constantly created (or evil just-a-guy planeswalkers).

Nothing about this day had gone as planned.

The irony of this comment, multiplied by all the Gatewatch members who’ve expressed it, is great when juxtaposed with what Bolas thinks of their planning.

We hit him with everything we've got. He will fall, Gideon thought back at him. 

No, this is a bad idea and I’ve been telling you for a while Gideon is a terrible leader and just keeps doing dumb things that will get people killed.

Jace had never encountered a mind so impenetrable, except for . . . the merest moment of a memory surfaced of a mind as smooth and dazzling as a wall of crystal. But even as the thought entered his mind, it erased itself, and he could not remember where he had seen such a thing—or even what kind of thing it was.

What . . . Jace shook off the sudden fugue that had overtaken him. It hadn't seemed to come from Bolas, but rather from inside himself. What was I thinking about? But he could not recall. Bolas's mind still loomed in front of him, closed and locked, as he futilely sought purchase.

Here’s our Jace story hook. Before Jace’s mind is wiped, we get a hint that his old memories are still there. This is clearly a reference to Alhammarett

He did not move to attack them, merely continuing to fling a helpless Gideon against the wall.

Look, the idea that all Bolas had to do against Gideon was keep flinging him against a wall with his tail is amazing. His over-reliance on his aura has always been a mistake. Where is Gideon’s hieromancy? Why wasn’t he summoning magic chains to bind Bolas?

Without conscious thought, he began planeswalking away blindly, not knowing or caring where. He had to avoid that darkness.

He felt himself being pulled across the Blind Eternities as the wave of darkness struck, and then he knew nothing at all.

Okay, so as we enter Ixalan, Jace is playing the part of the amensiac castaway. Will this lead to an alliance with Vraska?

Find out Monday on my first look at Ixalan!

"That was your mind expert, I believe? Do you have a spare? I can wait, or I promise not to listen if you shout at each other."

I thought Nicol Bolas was an Elder Dragon not a Troll.

Nicol Bolas lingered on each word, his voice rumbling through the open plaza, punctuated only by the continued thwaps as he bounced Gideon off the wall.

I giggled every time. I might be evil.

You have never been such a fool as to think you can win this battle, Liliana, whispered the Raven Man.

Raven Man with the sage advice. I don’t want to comment to much about the Raven Man piece here. I don’t believe Nicol Bolas is the Raven Man, but how the Raven Man views Bolas is interesting.

You alone amongst them know what true power can be again.

Can be... again? What does that mean? Might Bolas actually be looking to undo the Mending, as I’ve speculated in the past?

The dragon continued in his smooth voice. "Do you know, Liliana, how to use the Chain Veil so that it doesn't rupture your skin or drain you of life? Do you know how to make the spirits of the Onakke serve you as their master instead of seeking the destruction of your soul and body? I do, Liliana. I do."

He lies! screamed the Onakke in her head. Interloper! We will crush him!

You know he speaks truth, Liliana. He can help you. The Raven Man.

In case you were wondering, the Raven Man and the Onakke are clearly not on the same side.

That each of you has lived so long is merely a function of how useful you can be to me.

This is also what I’ve been saying for a while.

Nicol Bolas looked down at the planeswalkers and smiled. "And then there were three. I didn't want to annoy your dear departed necromancer, but between us, I admit I know a fair bit of necromancy. Do you have an opening in your Gatewatch? Is there some type of application process?" 

IS there some kind of an application process?

Why is it that a 30,000 year old Elder Dragon has to be the one to suggest? Do the Gatewatch have bylaws? Honestly, I’m as surprised as Bolas that they’ve lasted this long.

Her fire was blinding white, coruscating rivers of flame that lashed the dragon. Bolas's eyes narrowed, and he was forced backward for the first time in the fight, letting Gideon drop to the ground as the dragon retreated.

Blinding white fire, eh? And all of a sudden, Bolas needed to avoid her flames?

Remember when I said it would be cool if Chandra learns to cast the Purifying Fire, like she learned to cast Ghostflame? Both could have served her well here, and I think that might be something we see in the future.

The Purifying Fire cover art by Michael Komarck

"Chandra Nalaar. You had so many useful characteristics. Powerful. Emotionally unstable. Easy to manipulate. Refreshingly predictable unpredictability. I really wanted to make this work." Bolas's voice boomed through the empty air. I am not easy to manipulate, she thought, her anger revving up. Her flames lit up the night sky.

Is... is Bolas complaining about Millennials, here?

I mean, I totally feel his point. ADHD caricature Chandra is frequently disappointing, but still. Wag a walking stick at her, too, Bolas.

Wow, that's a lot of pain.

Look, I have some problems with Chandra’s immature characterization sometimes, but at least this girl keeps it real.

She had thought her destiny to be different on this world, had thought her time in Kefnet's temple opened up possibilities previously unimagined . . . but no. Kefnet and the other gods lay dead in the streets, their threads cut short, their uses unexplored.

GDI Ken Troop. Now that he knows we know to hunt for meaning in his articles, he’s throwing red herrings into the mix.

Nissa had never questioned the purpose of the Gatewatch before. There was always an immediate need, wrongs to be righted, evil to be overcome. And it had worked. For so long it had worked. Until now. Until a dragon of immense power and intellect had shown the errors of coming in unprepared and underpowered.

Perhaps there was a better way.

Such musings occupied her as she fought to regain control of the land. If she were to have any chance in this fight, it would be through the earth.

I’m curious to see where Nissa goes with this. I think we’ll be seeing her explore that tentative connection with Emrakul more as time goes on.

All of Gideon's invulnerability had proven little worth against an opponent with the size and strength and mass of the dragon.

OK. Nicol Bolas is big... but Gideon went toe-to-toe with this.

Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger by Michael Komarck

"Gideon Jura, you are very bad at analyzing reality. I have fought against thousands of generals, thousands of tacticians and strategists and battle masterminds. You might be the worst. Let me help you. Ignoring obvious reality is a fatal flaw in our line of work. By all means, I understand the importance of . . .aspirations, but being able to accurately assess the facts in front of you is an essential skill in the trade."

Thank you, Bolas. It’s funny, Bolas is giving each member of the Gatewatch exactly what they need to hear. Is this narrative convenience, the author dissembling this for us, the reader? Or is Bolas purposefully trying to turn them into more useful tools?

"I could kill you, Gideon, anytime I want. But I suspect you would not mind dying, the way you play so carelessly with your life. And the lives of others." Gideon thrashed his head back and forth, desperate to escape. 

Gideon was shocked to realize that a part of him yearned to stay. To no more feel the guilt of losing Drasus, Olexo, all his Irregulars. All the people he had seen die on Zendikar. He didn't want any more death on his hands. He could just . . . let go.

GIDEON WANTS TO DIE. @sarpadianempiresvol-viii​ has been calling this for a long while now, and I agree. It’s nice to see it confirmed.

He willed his body through the Blind Eternities, the hole the dragon left in his shoulder only the most visible of his wounds.

Looks like Gideon still has his arm, folks.

"No, master, I did not doubt. I was . . . delayed. You defeated them as quickly as you predicted." He glanced around the plaza, looking for bodies of planeswalkers that weren't there. "I can seek to find where—"

"No. It does not matter. This was better than blood."

Tezzeret looked at him quizzically, but knew he would offer no more explanation.

"Master, I should update you on . . ."

Okay, a few things. What delayed Tezzeret? Or is he just lying (probably). What does he need to update Bolas on?

Why is this better than blood? I’m legitimately kind of tired of vague Bolas plot set-ups. After around ten years later, the old Bolas fatigue is setting in again.

"Later. Go and tell Ral Zarek to come to me. His progress is too slow."

Okay, what the hell. Is Project Lightning Bug actually Nicol Bolas’s deal? Is it some other project? Was this actually planned? I’ve got to go back and re-read a whole lot of Ral stories to see if this secondary master was ever hinted at.

Homing Lightning by Slawomir Maniak

#vorthos #archive trap blog #mtghou

[marvelandponder]

Seems Like the Answer Should be No

I want to start this off by repeating something I’ve already said on my blog at various points: most of the time Rainbow Dash has terrible self-esteem. In that, she either has too much or too little. It’s kind of a problem.

So the goal, here, being healthy self-love, doesn’t necessarily mean building up kids to be a bunch of tiny ego-maniacs. If done right, I’m willing to bet it could do some good.

If for no one else, then for Rainbow Dash.

And, I mean, as a member of the generation who grew up with constant self-esteem campaigns and also has to face criticism for being too self-centered (go figure), I know teaching kids how to love themselves a healthy amount is notoriously complicated.

So, what is healthy self-love and how can Rainbow Dash finally achieve it long-term, thereby teaching the kiddos how to do the thing?

You know what time it is.

Friendship is Self-Love

Our first goal is to find a way to teach kids self-love in a nuanced, balanced way. Which... admittedly would be tricky for an adult show not to oversimplify, let alone a kids’ show that necessarily has to simplify things to some degree.

So, when I say this it’s something you’ve heard before and yes, it’s cheesy in the extreme: treat yourself like you would your best friend.

Honestly, it’s the perfect message for Friendship is Magic, for very obvious reasons. This show is all about well-developed relationships, so coming from this source, it doesn’t just mean ‘be nice and compliment yourself.’

It means develop a deep respect for yourself. It means be loving enough to build yourself up, but also be able to give yourself a reality check when you need one---be supportive. It even means to have a sense of humour about yourself where appropriate, as the girls aren’t afraid to poke some well-meaning fun at each other every now and then (but note that humour is never really mean-spirited). 

It means treat yourself how the mane six treat each other, in everything that means.

Every element that makes up harmony---Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, Honesty, and Friendship---is extremely useful in loving yourself to a healthy degree, and it gets more nuanced the more lessons you take from the show and reinterpret. Because, perhaps just like Friendship, self-love is just another kind of Harmony: being in harmony with yourself.

And it gets even better when you add in characters like Sunset Shimmer and Starlight, who’ve had to struggle forgive and trust themselves, respectively. And going back to the friendship metaphor, Discord, who’s had a backslide since reforming but was forgiven anyway because he recognized the error of his ways. In fact, most characters who got a second chance only deserved that second chance just because they realized how much they messed up (at the time, they hadn’t done much to earn it, and only proved that judgement right in hindsight)---which is an equally powerful lesson when it comes to forgiving yourself.

By invoking lessons from the show’s past to teach this new lesson, we get to see how complex self-love really is. It helps us see pass the cheesy sentiment to the real meaning of the phrase. Treating yourself like a best-friend comes with just as many lessons as friendship itself does.

Well, that’s a fine goal, you say, but how do you plan on achieving that self-love? That’s where Rainbow Dash comes back in.

Is Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash Without a Big Ego?

Here’s something I kind of touched on in my recent Twilight editorial. When a character develops past their defining trait(s), well, are they still the same character?

Thankfully, we already have an answer: Fluttershy!

Sure, our girl’s still introverted and quiet, but shy? Not quite. I went over how I think Fluttershy’s developed extremely well in recent seasons in that link up there, and what strikes me is how much Fluttershy still feels like herself since developing, just a healthier, more mature version of herself.

She’s still a complex character with flaws, but she’s learned to be comfortable with herself and stand up for her own feelings.

And frankly, at this point I think we could have Fluttershy teach Rainbow Dash about self-love. 

The two of them have often be paired together (I mean, not just in the shipping sense) because of the obvious and stark contrasts between them. One of those contrasts being how Fluttershy valued herself so little, and Rainbow seemed to value herself too much. 

Well, seemed to. 

Before I dive down this rabbit-hole, I’d be remiss if I didn’t direct you to Azkre’s analysis of Rainbow Dash’s self-esteem, because I’m about to get to a number of the same conclusions they did, just through different means. It’s a good read, I totally recommend it.

Anyway, like I said at the top, Rainbow is a realistic portrayal of someone with an ego. It’s not just highs that are too high, but lows that are too low. It’s why I usually disagree with fans who would label Rainbow Dash as a narcissist (although, yeah, she’s close enough that I totally get the comparison). 

Mainly, what separates Dash from this particular personality disorder is 1. Her empathy (the disorder is often characterized by a lack of empathy), and 2. She has massive insecurities that she tries to cover up with her ego.

For example, from as early as Read It and Weep which I still think should’ve been called Reading Rainbow, there was a hint that Rainbow’s insecure about her intelligence. At the episode’s end, instead of saying she thought reading was boring or just for lame ponies, she tells Twilight she “thought reading was only for smart ponies, like [Twilight].” 

This comes back into play in Testing, Testing, 1,2,3, when we see this insecurity explained, as Dashie explains her show-bouty class-clowning prevented her from learning how to learn. And not only that, considering how schools normally teach and how Rainbow Dash actually learns, it seems like the school system itself gradually taught Rainbow she was “too dumb to learn anything.” 

As a total aside, it interests me to think whether the class-clowning came first or the failing grades. Was there an order, or was this always just a perpetual cycle?

She then used her natural flying ability to define herself instead---a “world-class athlete” or a “future Wonderbolt.” She had to prove herself in a different way, and you can see that insecurity still there in how she has to brag to assert her worth.

I think her ego is genuine to some extent, don’t get me wrong. She can back-up most of her big claims, so it’s not hard for her to genuinely believe she is the best flyer in Equestria or just all-around awesome.

But it goes to show what a complex character Rainbow Dash actually is. She’s not just a dreamer who simultaneously wants praise and to inspire others, she’s insecure and big-headed.

So, back to our point. How do we teach Rainbow Dash healthy self-love? Well, I think we have to attack this from both sides.

Rainbow Dash has slowly been learning humility. For example, her entrance into the Wonderbolts marked a turning point in her professional career: instead of striving to stand-out in hopes of gaining entrance to the Wonderbolts, she now has to learn how to fit-in and work with them as a team. 

She’s learning to get a healthier amount of praise and spotlight, I think, and even learning to accept praise with humility. It was legitimately exciting for me, as a Rainbow Dash fan, to see Quibble Pants and Spitfire (in Rarity Investigates) praise her, and more importantly, to see Rainbow Dash respond by accepting these compliments without going too far.

But, that’s only half of the story. 

I do believe Rainbow’s lessons in humility and focusing more on others are extremely important to her development, but I also think we have to tackle her insecurities if we’re ever going to get her to stop bragging in excess.

And here’s Fluttershy’s role. Back in Hurricane Fluttershy, Rainbow helped to boost Fluttershy up in the face of adversity and the memories of Fluttershy’s childhood bullies. Dash needs something similar from Shy. With Fluttershy’s help, she needs to learn how to stop seeking approval from external sources so much, and instead be satisfied giving that approval to herself.

Sounds like just being egotistic when I put it that way, but what I really mean is times like in 28 Pranks Later, Newbie Dash, and some of the Mysterious Mare-do-Well. 

There are times when humility is the thing that would stop her from bragging (like the first half of Mare-Do-Well, when she’s unopposed), but then there’s times like these where Rainbow Dash’s bragging and impulsive actions are to impress ponies for the sole reason of proving herself to them.

Just like Fluttershy, who developed performance anxiety because of the teasing she endured, there’s still a part of Rainbow Dash who’s that little filly trying to shout over the bullies tearing her down. To some degree, her ego is a coping mechanism.

Which is why she needs to learn to care less about what others think of her, and more about what she thinks of herself. 

Fluttershy’s had to learn this lesson for other reasons and could be a great teacher in helping Dash to learn to be her own best friend. Someone who can support herself and keep herself in check, in addition to all the other lessons I talked about before.

And you know, Rainbow Dash is capable of learning this lesson. Hell, she taught it a different version of it to Scootaloo when she had doubts. Rainbow Dash thankfully never expects Scootaloo to live up to her example, and instead teaches her to avoid comparing herself to others who can fly.

So, what does a healthy, but still complex Rainbow Dash look like? Well, Silver Quill just put out an awesome video on Rainbow’s archetype (go watch, it’s great), and among other things, he points out Rainbow’s drive to meet challenges. To overcome the impossible.

I don’t think Rainbow Dash would have to lose that drive to be a more humble, well-balanced character, and I have to think she’ll always have that confident pizzazz of hers. Just... to a healthier, less obnoxious degree. And to be clear, she still has plenty of lessons to learn (no one ever stops learning), like balancing her impulsiveness with some manner of fore-thought, so she’s not ever going to be perfect. Just more mature.

So, with any luck, maybe by the time Rainbow Dash makes Captain of the Wonderbolts, she’ll be humble, considerate, and self-assured enough for the job. Hopefully, we can learn with her.

That’s all, folks! But, I’ve done other stuff, if you liked this editorial. Here’s a link to all the editorials, and here’s the last three Year of the Pony posts, so you don’t have to look far!

Rainbow Dash Editorial, Spike Editorial, and Design and Animation Analysis

Year of the Pony

Header Image Only Possible Thanks to...

Rainbow Dash Vector by Speedox12

If you’re in need of excellent vectors Speedox12 might just have what you’re looking for! Though inactive currently, many of Speedox’s vectors are still up for use so long as you give proper credit back to the source.

Who Do You Love?

#Rainbow Dash #yearofthepony #mlp #rd day #my little pony #friendship is magic #analysis #mlp:fim #mlp: fim #rd #mlp rd #rainbow dash day #animation

[krokonoko]

Pkmn Sun/Moon in hindsight

Sun/Moon was maybe my most anticipated game of 2016. I was hyped MONTHS before the release and soaked in every bit of news and development like a frickin addict.

When the game was finally out... I had a lot of mixed feelings while playin it. I mean, I liked it! But looking back, I noticed how I’m remembering the game decidedly unfavorably. Usually, the moment I’m through with a Pokemon game I already can’t wait to restart it cuz I wanna try it out with new Pokemon. This time? I feel like coming back to Alola in fifty years would be too early. And I’m not alone with that. Some of my friends still haven’t finished the game yet...!

Now I feel like enough time has passed for me to be able to maybe draw some conclusions about Sun/Moon and my experiences with it. Warning: Critical opinions ahead.

(everything I’m writing here is about my experience. If you feel completely different about this, cool. But remember that I’m not claiming any of this to be facts. All I’m sayin is: This is my opinion.)

I feel like speaking about the Sun/Moon games as “the 7th gen” when neither the sister game nor the potential remake is out yet complicates the matter a bit, but for now, this is all we have to go on for this gen. And if things stay as they are now, the 7th gen might be one of my least favourite ones, despite HEAPS of things I absolutely adored about Sun/Moon.

Cuz don’t get me wrong. I don’t wanna dislike Sun/Moon, and they did a lot of things right. But the things they did wrong just made it one of the least worthwhile games in the Pokemon franchise in my opinion.

But let’s start with the positive.

- So many of the new Pokemon are frickin amazing. Not as many as last gen, but. Idk. Every gen, no matter how much I dislike it, gets props for good Pokemon. The idea of the starters per se was really cool and novel, and. Yeah. Uhm. Looking at the list of new Pokemon I’m actually a lot more underwhelmed than I initially thought. Especially cuz my love for so many Pokemon comes with this bitter aftertaste. Like, I love Salandit and Salazzle, but what is UP with Salazzle’s pose and the weird lore surrounding it and WHY did they have to throw all this bs on one of the few cool new Fire type Pokemon we got...? ...Ok we’re in the positive section, so. Yes. Some Pokemon. Really cool.

- Team Skull is a national treasure that must be protected.

- the plot in general was pretty alright. As in, I didn’t hate it. I even was a bit invested? I think this is the Pokemon main line game with the best plot overall. Unfortunately, this brings us to a whole other can of worms, but more on that in the negative section.

- I didn’t hate the NPCs! I even kinda liked some of them? And if you know me, you know I got an affinity for loathing NPCs in almost every single game, especially Pokemon games. But p much every one of the NPCs in this one had a bearable personality. Congrats, S/M, you succeeded where X/Y failed.

- I like the IDEA of Alolan forms, and a handful of Alolan forms are cool.

- The Pokemon Resort is neat.

- I really, REALLY like that they were trying to do something new with this one. Despite everything I’m gonna criticize later, I 100% appreciate their attempt to change things up a bit in terms of graphics as well as formula.

- Last but not least: NO HMs!!! I’m serious, if they keep this feature? Or rather just frickin delete HMs from existence forever? The 7th gen will always be in my good books for that.

-------------------------------------

on to the negative. Oh boy.

- I first thought the abolition of gyms and badges was a really interesting idea. I’m always for questioning time-honored traditions in games, and the whole gym-system has got to be one of the oldest traditions of all. All the more admirable is the attempt to try something new instead. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out at all imho. The Island Journey was nothing but confusing to me. When before we had eight gym leaders, eight battles, eight badges and that was it, we now have seven Trial Captains (one of which you don’t even get to exchange more than one line with before the Elite Four) plus a couple of former Trial Captains, four Island Kahunas, eight Totem Pokemon, a FUCKLOAD of Z-Crystals (some of which kinda replace badges) and five Trial Completion stamps. Add to that the Kapus, tho most of them don’t even do anything.

What I’m sayin is: SHIT’S CONFUSING AF. At least for me it was.

And the trials themselves aren’t all that interesting either. I have to fight Yungoos all the time anyway, why do I gotta fight three more as part of this frickin trial? Why does the trial itself often feel like it’s just stalling?? And while I found Kiawe’s trial hilarious, it’s just... it’s nothing that could replace gyms for me, ya feel?

Here’s what I think is the problem: Removing the gyms made me realize that they’re not just an old tradition of the games, but part of the absolute core of what makes a Pokemon game a Pokemon game. Training for the gym, fighting your way through the trainers until you finally reach the strongest of them and battling it out? That’s so frickin satisfying! And not just that, it also gives you a sense of progress. 

And replacing that with this confusing Island trials that sometimes are Pokemon fights, but can also be puzzles that range from alright (Mallow’s trial) to just. Really. Idiotic. (Sophocles’ trial) ...Idk it just removes all sense of progress you had. No matter what, gym leaders are figures of authority. But in this case, there were just SO many trials thrown at you left and right, you couldn’t really take this new NPC seriously that the game just shoves into your face in order to provide you with Steelium Z or whatever.

Idk. Maybe the games just can’t do without the gyms. Maybe there’s a way to replace them. This was not it.

- The Z-Crystals. When I said I’m always in favor of trying something new with old established game laws? Yeah. Sometimes this turns out wrong. Sometimes, it’s “doing something new just so that you’ve got some BIG NEW COOL THING” .

You know, I never was a huge fan of the whole concept of Mega Pokemon? As in. I liked that Pokemon could only evolve so many times and could NOT evolve back, cuz that was something that set it apart from other franchises revolving around trainable monsters. This was a time-honored tradition I LIKED. But I wasn’t super against mega evolutions either. I was just kinda. Neutral on it.

But the fact that it turned out to be nothing but a fad which they quickly tried to retcon and replace with these dumb frickin ~*~huge strong attack~*~ things? That shit drives me NUTS. We had to spend the entire sixth gen getting lectured by every NPC about how special and important and mysterious mega evolutions were, just so that they could drop that shit entirely?? For what, ~*~stronger attacks~*~?? Jesus CHRIST with a man bun.

With mega Pokemon, I at least KIND of see the appeal. But the Z-moves? The animations get SUPER tedious after using the move twice. You’re pretty overpowered the entire game through anyway. I don’t WANT these ugly crystals, I was already annoyed with the mega stones, you’re gonna drop it for some new hot shit next gen anyway, get this shit AWAY from me >:/

- The endless. Frickin. Hand-holdies and stalling. Usually, after the first day of playin a new Pokemon game? I never wanna put it away. I just wanna keep playin and playin. The first day of playin S/M, I actually hated the game with every fiber of my being, and it felt terrible. That never happened to me before. Slight annoyance with the game? Yeah. Actual friggin hatred? Never!

The way the game kept stalling and stalling and dragging its feet killed every last bit of the INTENSE excitement I started out with. You wake up, you go talk to someone, day’s over, you wake up again, go talk to someone again, blaah blaaah blaaaaah... I think it takes you half a frickin hour of playin before you get your first frickin Pokemon...! You know how long it usually takes to get your first Pokemon in p much EVERY SINGLE POKEMON GAME?? Not even FIVE MINUTES. 

Maybe they thought they needed to ease us into the new setting and all but OH my GOD I just wanted everyone to SHUT. UP already and let me start my frickin Pokemon journey! Which usually, you do not long after you got your first Pokemon. Not in S/M, however. You gotta watch cutscene after cutscene, klick through heaps of uninteresting dialogue, and when the NPCs finally let you set out? They’re still there. Always. Interrupting you. Talking to you. Explaining things to you that every frickin child can find out by themselves. Which, incidentally, p much all of us did. When I was ten, I played the red version, which explained NOTHING except for how catching Pokemon works, and I STILL FUCKING MANAGED. And ten-years-olds today aren’t dumber than we were back then! And this quenches every bit of desire you have to find out things by yourself.

LIKE. You see your first patch of grass. ALL you wanna do is THROW yourself into that thing, roll around in it until you’ve seen all the new Pokemon and askdhkasdh. But the moment you prepare to leap, the game goes “Hey, wait -insert player name-! Ha ha, it is me, an NPC! How are you and your Pokemon getting along? I see you’ve discovered this patch of grass, but let me warn you-” AND THEY KEEP GOING ON FOREVER and they just, IDK, EXPLAIN that there are Pokemon in there which you KNOW and you wanna GO and follow your innermost desires as a gamer and DO THE THING. But the game. Won’t. Let you. Until it’s stalled all of your excitement to death.

And you really feel like the game’s taking you for an idiot what with how the NPCs guard and guide your every step. I have never played a Pokemon game that felt so much like I was on rails, and the NPCs decided how fast I go, where I stop and even where I move my fucking head. Every part of the island is sealed off so that I can only go there when the game WANTS me to. Yeah, this is an element that’s always been THERE in Pokemon, certain points you can’t pass before you’ve fulfilled this and that task. Tho I mean. In the very first game, they basically let you decide in which order to take on the last gyms by yourself. In S/M tho? It’s just egregious how you can’t take a SINGLE STEP without having to get some NPC’s permission first.

Basically, this is a problem Pokemon has been suffering from for a while now. Have a short look at this Sequelitis video in which Arin explains exactly what the issue here is. Watch until 22:15. S/M did everything wrong in that regard. You don’t gotta constantly nag at the player to, whatever, go into this school and fight a bunch of kids or we won’t let you continue on your journey. We play Pokemon. Because. We like. Pokemon battles. We WANT to explore the world. We WANT to find and catch and train more Pokemon. But making all that a guided and guarded task makes it feel tedious. To quote Arin: It’s annoying. It feels like your mom and creates an “you can’t tell me what to DO” attitude.

When you played Pokemon back in the days of R/B/Y, G/S/C or R/S/E, you didn’t play the game to save the world from Team Rocket or Team Magma/Aqua. What I mean is... People sometimes act like the plot is what makes a good Pokemon game. But I think the exact opposite is the case: Pokemon games don’t need a plot. Sure, throw an evil team to defeat in if you want to. But don’t make it the REASON why I’m on this journey. This is what made B/W so stale and terrible for me. You only need to watch the intro-animation of the game and you’ll see it: They prioritized plot and NPCs over what this game should be about: Your Pokemon journey. And the more the plot is trying to butt in on this journey, the more NPCs just keep holding you back with making you click A a bunch, the more detrimental it is to the game.

To make it short: Didn’t you always hate it when you stepped outside the first few towns, ready to take on the Pokemon world, make new Poke-friends, train them and love them and catch them all and- wait, there is the guy who teaches you how to catch Pokemon in a two minute tutorial you can’t skip. Doesn’t this kind of bum you out for a second there? Yeah, that’s what the first, IDK, SIX HOURS or so of S/M felt like to me...!

This also leads to the replay value of the game tending towards zero. I usually play through a Pokemon game many times cuz I wanna try out as many Pokemon as possible. But while I found the plot reasonably entertaining while it was all new to me, clicking through it again will be the biggest frickin hassle.

If I’m being super honest, I feel like they did this to drag out the game time. I remember that when I first played X/Y I was through the game in two days. Cuz if you switch on the EP-share, you don’t need to do anything anymore, you just fly through the entire game, which makes it a bit dissatisfying as well. And X/Y had its share of NPCs that were holding you back at the start of every new Route, telling you what to do and why you should go down this one-way-street to speak to Professor Sexypants or whatever. But with S/M, it really felt like they were trying to make up for a smaller world. Which leads me to the next part.

- Not a fan of the graphics and the overhauled world-structure. I liked the little chibi-Trainers. Especially in the sixth gen. They were perfect. The trainer models in this game just look awkward imho. But that’s not my biggest concern. That honor goes to the new world structure.

The overworld in Pokemon used to be grid-based. So every object was placed in a grid and you were forced to walk on a grid, which they kind of broke up a little in the sixth gen, in a good way. But this time they went with an organic, natural world. And this. Just. Doesn’t work. The way they did it at least. A rectangular patch of grass is okay in a grid-based world. In an organic world a huge patch of grass with nothing else in it... just looks goofy and kinda empty. And that leads to the whole world feeling this little bit. Empty. The rooms are huge, but you can’t interact with anything. The furniture is prettily rendered, but what use is this pretty couch when I can’t even SIT ON IT?? We used to be able to sit on things, GF...! And this may seem like a minor concern but it’s just so symptomatic for everything wrong with the environmental design.

Which is a shame cuz I bet they put in a lot of effort into your surroundings. Unfortunately, removing the grid probably made that a bit more challenging, which lead to the routes becoming smaller. Or at least feeling smaller.

I don’t even wanna get started with how much the camera angle annoyed me most of the time...!

But back to the trainer models. Another problem that was really bothering me about the trainer models was the battle intros. The illustrations in the sixth gen are maybe the best battle intros the franchise has ever seen. Ken Sugimori’s style has evolved so much, and every character was designed with so much care! Every single one of them had so much character and I love just looking at these guys, the Delinquent, the Sky Trainers, the Artist Family... Such great designs, so much soul!

But with the new models replacing the illustrations, we had cameras zooming in on blurry and pixelated faces with uncanny valley-ish expressions and blank stares. They could’ve used the new models to give each trainer a different pose or expression, especially upon losing, but they didn’t even do that. And the unfazed, always smiling face of the protagonist has long become a meme. We also had a significantly less amount of trainer models to fight against. The trainer classes stayed roughly the same in amount, but they re-used the models constantly. To me this just. Smells like unfinished work.

- I think it’s p cool the game is set on Alola. It’s refreshingly different from everything we’ve had before. The team definitely did their research and put a lot of effort into depict a fictional version of actual Hawaiian culture. But compared to X/Y, where we had so many different shades of environmental design, so many cool atmospheric locations, S/M just felt. Bland with its repeated happy-go-lucky-island-vacation mood.

- what was the frickin photo feature even there for. I was so here for a mini Pokemon-Snap, but what we got was just disappointing.

- What the fuuuuck is up with the Pokedex entries. Can we take that ~*~dark and edgy~*~ shit away from my Pokemon game please?

smaller complains include:

- the introduction of a quest diary was nice and the Rotom-Dex was cute, but ultimately useless and annoying. It constantly badgered and reminded you about quests that were impossible to avoid while completely staying silent about those that could very easily be forgotten.

- While I mentioned that I like the IDEA of Alolan Pokemon, I hate how they were mostly just trolling with them. Instead of more cool stuff like Alolan!Ninetales or Alolan!Marowak, they gave us Dugtrio and Graveler with hair.

- fuck the fact that when it comes to trainer customization and clothes, an entire array of colors were missing from my game just cuz I got Sun. If you trainer is customizable, you gotta go all the way and not make it ridiculously complicated for one half of your players to get clothes in a color they want.

- while we’re at it: fuck the Festival Plaza. Shit’s confusing, counter-intuitive and boring.

- What the FUUUCK was up with that Ash!Greninja thing? They were obviously planning on making this the next big thing, you know, Pokemon taking on features from their trainers. But then it probably got too complicated with all the Pokemon and all the customization features, so they dropped it. But why introduce Ash!Greninja then?? Do I look like Ash? No! I don’t even watch the fucking show! Do I know this Greninja? Fuck no I don’t! So why do we have this ~*~special bond~*~ or whatever is necessary for that thing to change its form?? What was that entire useless fucking gimmick except a reminder of what could’ve been?

- SOS battles are the most annoying feature in the history of ever. Had they just given us wild Pokemon encounters DOUBLE BATTLES, like we had them in D/P/P or B/W!! Anyway, just. Go look up “SOS battles Pokemon annoying” and you’re gonna see enough ppl explaining why this feature was the last thing we needed.

- I’m REALLY not part of the git gud crowd. I think Pokemon shouldn’t be too hard. For example I think it’s a nice touch to always show which attack is how effective against what. But the fact that status conditions don’t do shit anymore is a bit sad. The Pokemon either heals itself after two rounds, or you can just pet the poison away in a ~*~fun minigame~*~ with graphics stolen right of the 00′s.

- Legendaries are the fucking cancer that kills this franchise, and after X/Y and its mercifully low number of legendaries (six, to be exact, which is a number so low in fact that we haven’t seen it since the second frickin gen), I thought we’d finally reached the point were GF is over spamming us with these fuckers that are good for nothing except trials of patience. And S/M with this friggin TERRIBLE post-game-plot of “hey here’s two dozen legendaries. Catch them plz and u get munz.” Without even the EXCUSE of a plot. Just. *throws hands up* Fuck this.

- OH AND ALSO fuck GF for not giving the Litten crowd the quadrupedal fire tiger they deserved.

Thiiiis got a lot more negative than intended. But as I said initially, I’m surprised myself at how many negative emotions I have towards this game, despite the fact that I actually enjoyed it while playing it.

Generally I think this game just feels majorly unfinished to me. I’m very interested in Stars and whether it’s gonna be better or worse than it’s predecessor. In any case, I can only hope that Pokemon will stop centering around dialogue-heavy interaction and realize why we’re all really playin this game: To be the very frickin best, like no one ever frickin was.

And that p much concludes my rant. Anything you disagree with, anything you feel the same about? S’alright, we can talk it out ^^

#Pokemon #Pokemon Sun and Moon #Cal rants #POKEMON IS SRS BSNZ #that Calvindile person is a dick

[tessatechaitea]

Team Titans #19

Team Titans is an anagram of Steam Taint.

I never learned the proper use of prepositions, or what they even are, because it's the most unlistenable to Schoolhouse Rock song. Hmm, that was more of a tweet than the opening line to (of?) a review of (for?) a comic book from (in?) 1994. But then again, it's also a good example of how my reviews work. A thought strikes me based on something I just read or wrote, I have six thoughts more as the pinball in my brain bounces off of several bumpers, until I finally get control of the ball by resting it on an upraised flipper. Then I aim the ball and shoot it up the "Schoolhouse Rock Song" ramp and score the jackpot. I'm left feeling satisfied while everybody who just walked in and missed all the bumper action that lit up the jackpot are left thinking, "What the fuck is this asshole talking about?" From now on, I'm only going to speak in pinball analogies. Or is the lesson actually, "Write more of your process, dumbie!"? Schoolhouse Rock also never did a song about punctuation inside and outside quotation marks so I'm never going to be any good that that shit either. Avengers: Endgame has a good example of how I just write stuff that makes me happy without explaining why I'm writing that stuff. Without actually spoiling anything, there's a scene where some Avengers go to pick up Thor at his house in New Asgard. Taika Waititi's alien character lives with him and he's playing Fortnite. He begins to complain that some guy named SlutBanger called him a dick or something. At that moment, being a huge fan of Liz Lemon's terrible ex-boyfriend Dennis Duffy whose Xbox username is SlutBanger on 30 Rock, I now can't not think of 30 Rock as part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. So instead of going on Twitter and explaining my theory on how 30 Rock has been incorporated into the Marvel Cinematic Universe and providing the SlutBanger evidence, I simply began tweeting things based on the assumption that everybody now understands it to be true. I could probably benefit from making my process more transparent.

War Devil's secret identity is Ward Evil.

Getting around to the comic book, a Team Titans team called Spectrum have arrived from the future to return the central-to-the-plot Team Titans back to 2001. I hate them immediately. One of them is all, "You deserve answers! But let's start with introductions!" Then instead of introducing herself as a person would when they say something like, "Let's start with introductions," she tells Terra that she's Terra, and Prester Jon that he's Prester Jon. And then when Terry is all, "Wait a second! That's not how introductions are done! What's your name?", she's all, "I don't have a name — I'm a color!" Well how about I just call refer to you as Fuck Off, You Stupid Puke Green Piece of Shit? Not that Terry Long would ever say anything like that! He's a wuss! Remember an issue or two ago when he was crushed by a grandfather clock? Hilarious! Later, one of the Spectrum refers to one of the other Spectrum as "Green." So I think they indeed have names! Jerks.

I don't want to embarrass anybody who worked on this comic book but one of the creative team might be an idiot.

Spectrum have been traveling through time collecting all of the members of the Team Titans (that's like thousands and thousands of characters!). Now, to prove that they're not lying about working for the mysterious leader, they need to bring all of the Team Titans together. Hopefully these characters will be more creative than what the writers of Bloodlines came up with. Let's see, there's Carpet Boy, Lapidus, Wonder Boy, The Enforcer, Murder Master, and Hero X. So, um, nope. No more creative. All of the Titans from throughout time head off to battle Lazarium, Lord Chaos's spy who has become the DC Universe's version of Rupert Murdoch. He's kidnapped Killowat to steal some of his power so that he can time travel back to 2001 and take over Lord Chaos's throne. This whole Lazarium plot exemplifies why I can rarely identify with the bad guy (unless it's Lobo because I was also super cool and had long hair and looked hot in jeans and wanted to kill my entire species. Representation matters!). Lazarium's ambition has garnered him a life full of money and power. He could just build an evil lair and retire to play video games when he's not getting adult massages from in-house professionals. Instead, he's created this life so that he can accomplish some other stupid fucking thing that doesn't seem any better than the life he currently has. Why would he want to take over Lord Chaos's role in a future where everybody rebels against Lord Chaos? Who are these people who need to constantly introduce more drama into their lives? You're living the life, Lazarium! Take it fucking down a notch now and enjoy it! Lazarium explains his plans like a good villain while Battalion, Redwing, Donna, and a comatose Nightrider have been detained by the government. It's a good thing Prestor Jon and his nearly infinite new powers is coming to rescue them. Prestor Jon has spent every panel since he returned exclaiming how he needs to find his sister, Redwing. He loves her so much and he wants to make sure she's safe and he'd do anything for her and he'll destroy anybody who gets in his way! It's all been so touching and he's been so passionate and it's all been one big fucking batch of twaddle.

"Ew! Your ears and fingernails got pointy! Gross! Get away from me!"

Prestor Jon has an elastic body that's actually disgusting and he's over here judging Redwing's cute new affectations? Hell, even if he wasn't elastic, he'd be a hypocrite for finding Carrie gross now. He does realize he's a ginger in his new body, right?! I should apologize to people with red hair and fair complexions but right now I'm drunk with the power of judging people on superficial differences! Is this what it feels like to be an incel online?! "Oh, nobody will fuck me, hunh?! Well, I wouldn't fuck you! Even if I had the choice! Which I don't! It's right their in my embraced nomenclature: involuntary celibate! But that's beside the point! People who are good looking enough to get fucked are shallow garbage monsters! What must it feel like to be just the other side of totally disgusting?! If only I were marginally less repugnant than I am! But it's impossible! In this society, there's no way a 1 or a 2 can pretty themselves up to a slightly fuckable 3! And don't encourage me to fuck other 1s and 2s! Gross!" Hmm. Maybe I need to apologize to both incels and gingers now. Although my mocking incel rant was just encouragement! Don't accept being unfuckable! Do something about it! And that something isn't read a book about how you need to trick women into sleeping with you! That something is doing the best you can at cleaning up, dressing, acting like a civilized person, and just enjoying things you enjoy around other people. You also have to, in some way, prove that you're a responsible person who has something to offer. I once flirted with a woman all weekend at a party in some remote location without anything more than friendly banter. Then on the way home, the car I was driving home (a friend's girlfriend's car because she probably knew it was a deathtrap!) got a flat and we wound up stranded on 580 all night (because she had a spare in the car but no jack). In the morning, I got out of the car with the tire and flagged down a helpful man. His jack was the kind you slide under and the car was a low Camaro that it wouldn't fit under. The guy explained he had to get to work but since he was the only person to stop, I was all, "Please! We'll get this!" I then got my other friend there to lift one side of the front of the car as I lifted the other and we were able to get the jack under. I then preceded to change the tire in a few minutes and we were on our way. My friend said X (the woman I'd been flirting with!) didn't take her eyes off me the rest of the drive home. I dropped her off first and she practically forced her phone number on me. That's what impresses people you might want to impress: doing things that aren't meant to impress them. You just have to prove you're a capable human being who can get shit done when that shit needs getting done. She probably thought, "Look at the way he took control of the situation! Look at how he lifted up that car's front end and changed the tire so smoothly and quickly! I bet he fucks!" I mean, she was wrong. I was terrible at fucking then! Really, really terrible! But that's a story I don't want to talk about! Even though it's a really short story. Team Titans #19 Rating:: C-. It got boring again! The final page of this comic book has a TV Guide mock-up for DC Comics if they were shows. Here are the actors the editors at DC thought should be playing their characters in 1994: Aquaman: Keifer Sutherland Atom: Michael Madsen Blue Beetle: Jason Patric Nightshade: Madeline Stowe Batman: Brad Pitt or Cary Elwes or Peter Horton Joker: Aidan Quinn Lobo: Bill Paxton Guy Gardner: Christian Slater Ice: Meg Ryan Hal Jordan: Dennis Quaid Sinestro: Raul Julia Kilowog: John Goodman Ganthet: Paul Williams Kyle Rayner: Andrew Shue

#Team Titans #Teen Titans #New Titans #DC Comics #Comic Book Review