#but instead I created a monster

[hikarry]

So, I was rewatching season 1 and got stuck in that scene between Shadwell and Aziraphale in the bookshop.

What if Aziraphale never stepped into the circle? What if the fire never really happened?

Imagine:

Shadwell is lost in his shenanigans, ready to banish Aziraphale to whatever place witchfinders banish witches, and Aziraphale is slowly walking backward.

"Oh, but this is utterly ridiculous." He stops on his tracks, looking Shadwell in the eye. "I'm sorry, good man, but I have no time for whatever silliness is happening right now. If you don't mind, I have an Armageddon to stop." Aziraphale snaps his fingers, and Shadwell disappears, reapearing a few streets over at the other side of Soho. There surely he wouldn't get in the way.

Careful not to step on the active circle, Aziraphale leaves the bookshop and flags down the first cab he sees. The driver stops right in front of the bookshop, and he gets in, giving him Crowley's address in Mayfair.

The last time he called, the demon was home, so that's exactly where Aziraphale hoped he remained. With a bit of luck, he hadn't left for Alpha Centauri... Now that he thought about it, he mentioned having an old friend over? As far as he knew, he himself was the only friend Crowley had, so that statmebt now sounded like a load of nonsense. But whatever. He just needed to speak with Crowley, old friend present or not. Heaven clearly wanted the war to happen, and he had been naive to think they would see reason. The only chance the Earth had of surviving now was the angel and Crowley. He could only pray it wasn't too late and Crowley wasn't gone. He knew where the Anti-Christ was, after all. They could stop this!

When the cab stopped on the street of Crowley's building, Aziraphale paid his fare and threw a quick blessing in the driver's direction for his speed and efficiency before crossing the street and entering the complex.

He had been to Crowley's flat once or twice in the last 20 years. All he had to do was go through the entrance, get on the lift to the last floor, and walk down the corridor towards the last door. And that's exactly what he did, always fiddling with his fingers in a show of the nervous energy that seemed to take over him. They were running out of time. The end of the world would occur any minute now, and Crowley needed to be home. They still had to drive all the way to Tadfield's airbase, and the clock was tickling rather ominously inside his head.

Finally in front of the door to Crowley's flat, he knocked. A few seconds passed with no response, and he decided to knock again, stronger now, but he got exactly the same result.

Aziraphale looked around the hallway, taking a deep breath and smoothing his waistcoat, considering his options.

"Crowley?" He ended up knocking again. "Crowley, we need to talk!" Silence. "I know you're cross with me after our last conversation, but you were right. I talked to the Metatron. And they want the war. As I told you on the phone, I know where the antichrist is, and it would be very nice of you if you opened the door so we could get a wiggle on and stop the Apocalypse." Once again, he was met with silence.

Was it possible? Did Crowley actually leave for Alpha Centauri? He was here minutes ago! He couldn't have left already, right?

Oh, bless it all. He wasn't going to waste any more time.

With a final deep breath, Aziraphale snapped his fingers, and the door unlocked. He opened it slightly, peering inside.

"Crowley? I'm sorry If I'm intruding but this matter is rather urgent." All he got in return was silence. Not a single noise from the demon himself or the so called old friend.

He pushed the remainder of the door open and stepped inside, silently closing it behind him. He looked at the living room, but it was empty of any living soul, apart from the plants on the far wall.

"Crowley?"

Aziraphale called again, now walking towards the office to the left. The door was slightly ajar already, so he spied inside. It looked empty, but he walked in regardless, almost stepping on a pile of goo right there in front of the floor.

"What the...?" He looked down, stepping over the weird substance.

It smelled weirdly of sulfur and...was that Holy Water?

His head snapped to the desk, where he found the thermos he had given Crowley back in the 60s, the cap unscrewed by its side.

Suddenly, he felt his heart stop, and his veins turn into ice. His body gave an involuntary step back away from the smudge, his back hitting the throne as he lifted a now trembling hand to cover his mouth.

No. This couldn't be happening. He would-! Crowley certainly wouldnt-!

A sob escaped his throat as his whole body started shaking.

Oh lord. This was a nightmare. It could only be a nightmare. This wasn't real. Couldn't possibly be real.

Oh Crowley...

Aziraphale's legs failed him, and he ended up on the floor, back leaning against the side of the ridiculous throne Crowley liked so much. Not that he would like anything ever again because he was gone. Crowley was gone. And it was Aziraphale's fault. He was the one who gave him the cursed thermos against his better judgment. And now all his fears were laid bare right in front of his eyes.

Another sob escaped him and he let the heartache take charge, spilling warm tears down his cheeks.

Crowley was gone. The Apocalypse was coming and Crowley was gone. Not to Alpha Centauri but actually gone. Utterly destroyed. And all that remained of his best friend was an unidentifiable goo. Not a trace of Crowley remained.

He hugged himself, hanging his head low, letting the tears fall on his crossed arms and allowing the wretched sobs to take over. He couldn't bear to look at it a second longer. The smell of sulfur and Holy Water was starting to get nauseating.

Well, contrary to popular belief, Crowley was actually very much alive, speeding through the streets on London in the direction of the bookshop. He parked in his usual place and snapped his finger to open the doors of the building.

"Aziraphale?" He looked around, quickly spotting the active circle. Lifting an eyebrow above his sunglasses, he carefully walked towards it, still searching for any trace of the angel. "Aziraphale, are you here?"

The circle was still active with holy energy, so no one had actually stepped through it, and Aziraphale was clearly not in the bookshop, so where could he possibly be?

With a sigh, Crowley turned around and went back to the Bentley. He drove around Soho for a bit, trying to spot some blond curls in the crowd but falling short of success.

"Aziraphale, where the bloody hell are you?" He muttered to himself, carefully scanning the streets, until he gave up, changing his course back to Mayfair.

He needed to regroup. Without knowing where Aziraphale was and without the information on the antichrist he apparently had, Crowley needed to think.

He made his way back to his flat without paying much attention. When he noticed, he was already unlocking the door with his key and stepping inside. And, as soon as he did so, he heard it. Sobs coming from the office. That was...bizarre. Could it be Hastur? Had he figured out a way to leave the answering machine, and now he was crying over Ligur? Crowley almost laughed at himself with such a thought. Hastur? Crying? Now, that would be a sight he would pay to see.

Still, in the name of caution, he slowly made his way to the office, trying to be as silent as possible, when he quickly spotted the angel he had been looking for throught the wide open door, sitting on the floor besides the throne, arms around himself and face hidden while his whole body shook and heartbreaking sobs escaped his vocal chords.

Carefully and confused, he approached, stopping short of the door.

"...Angel?"

Aziraphale's head snapped up, staring at him with wide eyes, his face marked by tears.

"...Crowley?"

"Yeah." He slowly walked his way to the angel, careful not to step on Ligur, squatting in front of him. "Are you alright? What happened?"

He was still staring at him with clear confusing in his eyes, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly until he finally appeared to have found his voice again:

"You-! The-!" Aziraphale's body trembled, looking over Crowley's shoulder and then back at the demon. "You...you're gone!"

Crowley raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.

"I just went to the bookshop searching for you, but when I arrived you weren't there already." Aziraphale shook his head, some more tears escaping his eyes along with a single sob. "Hey, hey." Crowley placed his hands on his shoulders, squeezing them. "What's-?" And then that's when it suddenly clicked inside his head. He looked up at the empty thermos on his desk and back over his shoulder to what remained of Ligur. "Oh, Aziraphale. No, no, no." His hands moved up to Aziraphale's face, forcing him to look up at him, his thumb brushing away some of the new tears running down his face. It burned considerably; angel tears were holy water after all, but right now, that wasn't his focus. "That's Ligur. I used the holy water to make a trap for him and Hastur when they came to take me." He brushes his thumb through Aziraphale's trembling lips, leaning in closer. "That's not me, angel. I'm alright."

Aziraphale sniffed, trying to regain control of himself, but failing miserably.

"I-I thought you were dead. I thought you had used the Holy Water. I thought-"

"Shhh." Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel, leaning his face against his, pulling him into an embrace. They had never hugged before, so it felt a bit strange. Awkward even. "I'm right here. That's not me." The angel grabbed handfuls of his shirt and pulled him closer, burying his face on the crook of his neck, taking deep breaths. "Yeah, that's it. Breathe." He ran his hand through his curls, trying to soothe him. "Everything is alright. I'm right here."

After a while, Aziraphale finally calmed down and moved away, just enough to be able to look at Crowley's face. For a moment or two, they just stared at each other. Aziraphale's red rimmed blue eyes looking right at Crowley's yellow ones; his sunglasses had ended up on his head at some point. The angel's eyes slipped down to the demon's lips for a second and Crowley's licked them involuntarily, before his gaze went back to his eyes.

"You were right." Crowley tilted his head in confusion. "I talked to the Metraton. They want the war to happen...The Anti-Christ..." Aziraphale mumbled those last words.

"Right." Crowley stared down at Aziraphale for a couple more seconds before getting up, offering his hand to the angel to help him do the same. "You said you knew where he was?"

#alas Aziraphale and crowley got away from me once again #this was supposed to be a short lil thing but instead i created a monster #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #anthony j crowley

[craycraybluejay]

The urge to say one of the select few words or phrases that will have absolutely anyone ready and willing to beat the crap out of me

#compulsive #impulsive #stuff like slurs offensive phrases super edgy jokes about mass death and sex crimes #i dont believe any of that is right or a good idea mind you #i just wanna see what happens #because i want Something to happen #i want the anger i want the bloodshed i want to feel thrilled and scared and excited #i want to run my mouth till i cant even walk #saying anything and everything just to do damage #sighhhh #i'm so bored #i just want to get beat up for a situation i chose to create instead of completely inane shit #its no fun when people are just needlessly cruel to me #might as well #give them a real reason to hate me. to hurt me. #i hope the thought of killing me with their own hands makes them disgusted with how excited it makes them #i hope they are shaking with rage and hatred. seething. twitching. #call me a monster and i'll make one out of you yet #tell me you hate me and i will give you a reason to #no point in tryna change the minds of those kinds of people. take it in stride and throw the first real punch :3

[widowshill]

— But it's almost midnight. — Oh, that's the point! At the stroke of twelve, he turns into Dracula. C'mon, Vicki – he won't bite.

pose ref.

#dark shadows 1966 #victoria winters #roger collins #➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure，miss winters. #vamp roger au tbt #➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink. #➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows. #➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery. #art. #i always feel a little apprehensive about putting r/v things in the general tags bc i know that's not everyone's cup of tea but. #if r/v squicks you out and you don't have me blocked idk why lmakldfgfg. that's what we do here. #well! did you know that the moonflower is a highly poisonous and psychoactive flower that belongs to the nightshade family #and can cause respiratory depression arrhythmias fever delirium hallucinations psychosis and death if taken internally. #and they are night-blooming and pollinated by sphinx moths. much to think about. #scenes from the vamp roger au that i've been plotting with tortie and have only posted like one thing about but. anyway. #should be making violent love to you behind a palm tree etc. but the moonflowers in liz's greenhouse will have to do. #yeah yeah yeah we've all heard about his more famous triangular cousin but what about the real collins vampire huh. #who was here in 1966 draining years off another man's life. who spent ten years in a coffin (augusta) and came back wrong. #who knows nothing but a habitual; driving; consuming thirst. #who feeds on the youth and innocence of his governess – of his sister's hospitality – of the shelter of the collins blood. #who prefers; instead of living; to bury himself in the collins tomb. #who creates not biological sons but makes other men into monsters just like him. #also lou was really hot as a vampire for 0.5 seconds in hods.

[self-loving-vampire]

My girlfriend and I are losing our minds at how opaque and arbitrary some of the PF2E math feels.

#personally my main complaint is that I would prefer if there were still more consistent and hard processes for creating monsters #it feels so makeshift now it makes me uncomfortable #like I'm just making numbers up instead of calculating them through a consistent process

[emperornero]

mom wants me to get tested for dyslexia or some other writing difficulty disorder

#i usually dont have issues with writing irl i think im doing it correctly #but then i try to read what i wrote and like half of the words have switched letters #and some are missing full nouns . like i automatically start with writing the second one #and i connect letters because i see them as the next step of what im supposed to write #so lets say i have to write uh. 'oddaj' . i will almost always write 'ddaj' because o blends into the front part of d #so they connect . but what i wrote instead of 'od' is just 'd' . #dont get me started on words that have combos like 'og' or 'jy' i will create a monster a letter youve never seen before

[hippiichi]

me watching video essays on the theory of creating horror (as in analytical theory not matpat game theory) and being like ah yes i can use this for my dnd campaign yes...

#hipp speaks #maybe i will compile all that ive learned one day cuz tbh!! #there arent that many good “how to create horror in dnd campaigns” videos out there despite how many there are #like a lot of them are lacking in terms of how to create tension and get ur players on edge #for example music is a really helpful tool and the addition (and later) subtraction of music/changes to music alone can get players on edge #but like even beyond that!! #taking away the ability to defend ones self via weapons or magic #forcing the players into situations where the only thing they can do is run or hide #and then rolling dice becomes more like the rng of a monster finding the player in a video game #introducing the idea of a monster that can appear at any time during the campaign a la resident evil 3 #AND STEAL IDEAS FROM HORROR GAMES #i feel like a lot of the horror dnd videos i watch get too caught up in trying to wrangle the 5e rules to fit into a horror narrative #when really 5e being so combat focused just CANNOT work with horror and has to be changed slightly/focus on the rp of it instead #like why do you think horror games rarely give players a gun until a mid to late game if at all #they gotta create that sense of asymmetricallity!!!!!

[alchemiclee]

been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now #that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end #ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes #youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused #more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!! #the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that #aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅 #cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better #please someone do this 😭 #words #hsr #i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end #my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder #but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him #instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now #they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot #so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it #maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because #they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing #we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end #or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e #i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid #is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!! #id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead #OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation #and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying #his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed #these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did! #these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better #lee rambles

[asmidge]

emotional over how Android 17 was built to kill and now his job is protecting life. he doesn’t want to kill the poachers even though they directly threaten the animals that are so important to him

he has a wife and kids now and has an actual life, something that Dr Gero never envisioned for him or his sister. they were created as tools meant to kill Goku but they’re his friend now. they live for themselves and value the lives that they were originally meant to destroy

#android 17 you are so special to me #the ‘even monster deserve a chance at life’ line he says to Goku is SO!! good because it feels very applicable to him and 18 #they’re weapons built by the army to kill people and iirc they’re called monster a couple times throughout the Android/Cell sagas #but!! they’re also just people!! they were teenagers when they were experimented on and turned into androids they didn’t choose this #Krillin sees their humanity and asks Shenron to take their bombs out because he wants to give them the chance to live normal lives #and they do!! they grow and learn to appreciate the world around them and they have families ouugh #monsterous animals don’t choose to be born like that instead of cute. the androids didn’t choose to become androids #but they are and they deserve to live just as anything else does #I love overanlayzing dragon ball. this was probably not the intent but idc #ALSO I just think it’s interesting that the poachers leader claimed to have a bomb inside of him as an ‘insurance policy’ #which directly mirrors the Androids who had bombs implanted in their hearts as insurance for Dr Gero in case they ever got too difficult to #control. does it mean anything? probably not. am I shaking it around in my head? yes #the androids are soo fascinating to me. did toriyama know he created the best characters ever when he made them #db watch

[sapphireshorelines]

One problem is that American directors, with a handful of exceptions, are not much interested in style; they are at heart didactic. Ask what they plan to do with their absolute freedom, with their chance to make a personal statement, and they will pick an “issue,” a “problem.” The “issues” they pick are generally no longer real issues, if indeed they ever were—but I think it a mistake to attribute this to any calculated venality, to any conscious playing it safe.

Joan Didion, I Can’t Get That Monster out of My Mind, from "Slouching Towards Bethlehem"

#when I first read the title it immediately brought stranger things to my mind as that's the only horror I have watched recently #but the essay itself also talks about lot of the aspects of how movies on 'issues' are approached #hollywood being the 'monster' to creative mind that continuously tries to 'water it down' #the way to do it justly is to water it down only to the measure it is drinkable for general audience #but for those who do look behind the curtain there should be more than enough subtext to pick up on #so you create for yourself two kinds of audience instead of just catering to one #joan didion #stranger things #stranger writers #hollywood #horror #film analysis

[nymph1e]

Wow Luke "my attachments to my friends and family saved the entire fucking galaxy" Skywalker and Ahsoka "I was treated so poorly by the jedi order that I realised it was deeply flawed and could not continue my association with them" Tano really decided to stick with the obviously warped ideology of the past jedi, eh?

And then Luke gave a fucking toddler an "abide by my rules or get out" ultimatum and stuck with it.

What pisses me off is that this is clearly all done to align with the goddamn stupid fucking sequels. I HAD been hoping they'd at least ignore them a little. But no, all the character assassination bullshit has not only followed through, buy caught up to Ahsoka now as well as Luke.

#the book of boba fett #luke skywalker #THEY ARE DOING MY BOY SO DIRTY #this is such bad storytelling #its so lazy #they wanted grogu back with din for season 3 because he is a money machine #and instead of creating a nuanced story around it #they just hamfisted ooc BULL #i am so mad rn #if you defend lukes characterisation in the sequels i would say go watch the ot again #because i used to defend it then i rewatched the ot for the first time in years and remembered that #oh yeah #luke really did just put the whole galaxy on the line because he believed that genocidal child murdering darth vader could be good again #all because he was lukes father and was good once #my boy saw a literal monster and went #no he can still be good i know it #but you expect me to believe my boy would have doubts over his own nephew for a FRACTION of a second? #i can understand luke cutting himself off from the force and deciding the jedi should end after his pupils die #I CAN'T accept everything that leads to that happening #because it is all so ENORMOUSLY out of character its laughable #i blame the force awakens #that movie was terrible set up #anyway im angry

[bigbugmonsters]

This is the Spider King. He's always in a dark cave, sitting on his throne and waiting for his funnel fed caterpillars to be big enough to eat.

#bîg's ocs #bîg's art #fat monster boy #spider #the spider king #He's small right now but he is going to get BIG. You'll see fairly soon. #Very very big. So much so that it's honestly being driving me wild. Can barely work without thinking of him. #Note that he can only eat bugs- but he's fine with bug flavored things. Like imagine a cake but all the ingredients are bugs. hed love that #he has a small but noisy and soft belly. He tolerates others touching it #He's basically a dom that'll become a sub as he gets bigger and bigger. The new dom is Reader/you. #The three lastpics may look like v*re but it's not- I just think a guy eating a huge piece of food all to himself is sexy af #and it just happens that he can't eat regular food. His favorite fattened up caterpillars instead #I initially created him for the challenge I'm doing but he drives me too wild I need to take a break and draw nothing but him. #wg #stuffing

[delightful-69]

.

#just rambles here...... #Maybe i could make that old rwby AU i have into a separate thing #''Instead of RWBY. It's team RNBR (rainbow) consist of Ruby. Nora. Blake and Ren'' #-> a group of 4 college students trying to graduate a combat school #''Ruby is a wolf faunus'' #-> Ruby actually got injured very badly at a young age then a monster saved her but end up turning her into some sort of werewolf. #I actually want to get rid of the whole ''maiden and silver-eyes power'' in that AU. Instead Ozpin actually running an experiment by- #Fusing human/faunus (those who that he believe to have good natures) with Grimm #It'a funny how much lores i have to change lores in order for this AU to works. Might as well create new characters and- #Turn it into a new project

[feartheoldblog]

My OCs and their favourite gifts (I am bored sorry):

Phulgrax: Figs or Pomegranates. He eats them whole, skin/rind included. Yes he enjoys it.

Freyja: Sex- she’s easily pleased.

Ruaridh: Something practical, maybe a hunting knife or a new sheath for his sword.

Avis: Quality time and/or flowers. Give her a bouquet and take her star gazing and she is yours.

Russ: New whetstone or maybe some nice jewellery. He’s a fan of wearing rings.

Corvian Knight Gallus: Shiny things, like gemstones or little trinkets. He loved them when he was human but now that he’s a lot more crow than human, he likes them even more.

#i have more but i’ve not mentioned them at all here #also currently creating a sea monster wife #she’s like 30 metres long but very sweet #very curious of humans #can’t talk to them underwater bc the sound of her voice can burst their major organs #and they aren’t very kind to her when she approaches the shore #idk her name yet #i wanna make sure it’s good #i promised i’d do something for the canon chars #but no one asked </3 #so i do OCs instead fr #original characters #headcanons

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

I’m sorry about the people who looked at your fun little Pluto poll and took it as an opportunity to be needlessly rude :(

Ugh I'm so annoyed at them. Like idm which way people vote but getting so heated and mean-spirited about it is just embarrassing. And tagging users in hopes of stirring shit up is extremely childish too.

#i have had to block so many people from this poll #i can't report them bc they haven't violated any rules but being an asshole one way or the other is still not cool #I've literally said in the notes that the poll shouldn't be taken so seriously and yet here we are! :///// #anyway i liked your addition to the notes! :) #and thanks for reaching out haha i feel like I've created a monster when it was only supposed to be for fun and a joke tbh #but some people (oddly enough on the No side) are tone deaf and not intelligent enough to see a joke when they see one #you can argue whichever side without being a Grade-A Prick #anyway i hope you have a nice day lovely! ♡ and thank you again ♡ #just unfortunate that particular thread of reblogs did so many rounds instead of people deleting it from the rb if they didn't like it #or were neutral on the matter and still kept it #madamegemknight #asked and answered

[freckleslikestars]

Nothing identifies me more as a bartender than having two fifths of my freezer taken up by glassware and vodka. Another shelf is solely ice.

#yes that’s a tequila bottle at the back there #no I’m not such a monster that I’d freeze tequila #it’s vodka in a tequila bottle because the second vodka bottle didn’t fit #also those coupes are a stupid size and shape but they’re all I could afford #they work well for things that don’t need a crema - love lemon drops in them because they have a nice big surface for a sugar rim #but esspresso martinis look shit in them - as do all cream based drinks like grasshoppers #fuck now I want a grasshopper #I also want a gin and tonic #and I have no tonic and no cream/milk so both are out of the question #I will also say the vast number of ice packs are a remnant from my ‘I’m doing eight hours of dance every day minimum’ #because I used to come home and just tape ice packs to the various injuries I had instead of actually resting #gotta love toxic industries #I really jumped straight out of one and into another #also holy shit I was just reading online about what the current consensus is on vodka in the freezer and…nearly every single article cites #a business insider interview with the guy who created grey goose where he’s like ‘nooo it kills the flavour don’t put it in the freezer!’ #and sir sorry to break it to you but your fucking expensive vodka tastes shit #we have a bottle at work and hardly sell any of it because it’s over priced and is one of the worst tasting vodkas we have #I’d genuinely take the shitty Chekov vodka that we use as house when we can’t get our actual house in than grey goose #grey goose is shit that rich people pretend to like because grey goose are insanely good marketers #vodka honestly isn’t meant to be complex (yeah there are some good complex vodkas - I really like źubrówka if I’m drinking it neat or over #ice) but truly…vodka is there to be a source of alcohol. if you want complex flavours then go with gin or whiskey or rum or tequila #vodka is ethanol plus water. the bison grass źubrówka obviously has a little more to it but that’s why I drink it. and if I were to have a #anyway what I’m saying is if I were to have to drink grey goose I’d definitely freeze it first. it’s such a mediocre vodka considering the £ #I will also say this comes from the perspective of a cocktail bartender. I use vodka because it doesn’t have a flavour that’s gonna fuck wit #whatever fruity drink I’m making #unless I’m specifically making a vodka martini I don’t really want to think about the vodka #I just want it to be my basic more or less flavourless spirit #I did not mean to go on so much about vodka