#but it's difficult to put down in words

[wayfayrr]

One of the runner-up prizes! these are some headcanons about a sassy but motherly reader with the chain for @mickleloaf !! <3 I'm not entirely used to writing headcanons like these but I'm happy with how they turned out, I hope you'll enjoy them!! <3

[masterlist]

✦ The first time you bite back at them it catches them a little off guard, seeing as before you were quieter, they just didn’t realise that was you getting more comfortable around them and not what you’re really like in the slightest. When it does click for them they’re very pleased with the fact that they’ve gotten you to be happier with them than when you first started traveling with them!

✦ the mix of someone unafraid of biting back at them and who’s one of the most caring in the group now? They love it so much more than they can let on without being seen as somewhat suspicious.

✦ You’ve got to choose between the boys here, no matter who you either defend or snap at there’s gonna be one or more links begging you for forgiveness then, on the other hand, there’s the one who’s overly flustered over the fact that you’d step into defend them. 

✦ If it’s clear that you have a favourite whether that's through the way you speak to them or how they seem to bring out your more caring side then there’s a good chance they’ll try milking that attention for all they can once they start falling proper. 

✦ Legend loves having someone that he doesn’t have to hold back from speaking his mind with, he doesn’t say anything bad but he just adores how you understand his temperament and won’t be afraid of biting back at him, as well as the fact he doesn’t have to worry about scaring you off accidentally.  

✦ Warriors just dies when you give him that look, when you say something with that tone of voice when bandaging up a cut that he got because in your words he was far too reckless with his own safety little do you know he’d be far more reckless just to get a tiny amount of that attention again, something about the way you care for him is near addictive

✦ Wild both adores how you’ll care for him unlike others that throw him aside like a broken toy, even if he does act on the sad puppy look to get you to lay back on being what he considers as “too overbearing”, he’s not entirely used to people caring for him after all!

✦ Twi, while he has a soft spot for how you help with lecturing wild? He about dies when you throw a lighthearted insult his way, it’s not something he’s got to experience much seeing as he got the pretty boy treatment most of his life. Even Midna lightened up on any teasing after seeing his face. His face flushes so quickly but he seems to always cover it up with how warm his pelt is making him at least so he thinks. You also remind him of Midna which was, painful at first but he doesn’t do it for long. 

✦ Time acts more, gremliny around you if you seem to react to it more. Seeing as he’s the sensible older one most of the time, he tends to get jealous over the fact that your attention isn’t focused on him as much as he likes. It’s a deadly balance though, as if he takes it too far and one of the chain with a camera catch him? He’d never live it down. 

✦ Four has some mixed feelings about it all, vio loves it, you’re like him isn’t that amazing? You’d get so close if you met him proper. The others? It might take a moment or two longer seeing as mentioned you’re a bit like vio, and look what he did. Four has this thing though, where the inside of his head is a bit of an echo chamber, so it won’t take long for him to warm up and start spending more time around you.

#It was a lil difficult trying to put this into words! #It was fun to think about though #I do tend to write for a more snarky and assertive reader it was just getting the exacts down about it that was a little tricky!! #I'm not entirely used to writing hc's still either sdvgszdfcv #linked universe x reader #link x reader #lu time #lu warriors #lu legend #lu four #lu wild #moss✦writes

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions #and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety #but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake #AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior #is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out #of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and #maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you. #I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it. #I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about #it?’ #that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words #I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him #and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can #trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me #it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways #at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison #and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane #mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed #patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused #all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona #(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage #does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head #kazumaji #majima #kiryu #yakuza #kiwami 1 #yk1 #rambling

[sysig]

Hey, it’s not inaccurate! As advertised! (P1 | P2 | P3) (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #The Captain #ZEX #Finally the punchline! Yay! #Thanks for all your help brain /s I'm just glad it turned out haha ♪ #I do love the panel of the Captain putting the pieces together for all the reasons haha - not even using words to describe ZEX and his pinky #Such a polite sip haha - it would be rude to refuse tea from the princess he's trying to rescue! It's all part of the play! #Oh and ZEX just casually touching him lol keep on eye on that arm Captain or he'll talk you into a corner haha #At least the Captain is being more polite than Rand - not that that's a difficult task lol #He disappointed but he's not about to be mean! Nor undermine ZEX's princess status #He lives in a tower with an attendant and wears a pretty dress and tiara - it just all checks out! #And I mean technically he Does align with whatever legend has managed to be spread around lol just in the opposite direction #All such silliness ♪ I'm glad I saw it through haha #Can finally set it down pleased! #Did he rescue him? Or just come to visit him again? Or leave forever??? It's intentionally open-ended lol #I'm satisfied with my joke so it's whatever ending your prefer haha

[sea-critter]

all i know is leslie would have still been masking up and i’m proud of that.

#i didn’t even realize the anniversary of hir passing was coming up #Leslie you’ll be welcomed warmly on that day #sigh #being disabled and trying to care for other disabled people is difficult #during an ongoing pandemic especially #i’m so tired #i can’t even put my frustrations into words #just breaking down crying regularly bc i feel so helpless #but i gotta lean on my disabled + trans ancestors more #still masking #covid conscious #covid cautious queers #disability #disabled #disability justice #leslie feinberg #covid isn't over #anarcrip #crip anarchy #transcestors

[cocksuki2]

breasts and eggs by mieko kawakami is so uniquely woman. not in a feminine sense, or a gender-identity sense, but in the sense that i can feel the soul of womanhood in it, which i have rarely ever felt in other books. 

it captures the experience of being labelled ���woman” so precisely that it’s startling and there were several times in the novel i had to put it down and take really deep breaths. 

natsuko, a 30 year old and unmarried woman living in tokyo, experiences the challenges of female bodily autonomy and questions what it means to be a woman and what it means to have children. the novel raises questions about family, sexuality, child-rearing, and womanhood through the eyes of its protagonist who, 10 years later and at the age of 40, grapples with wanting to have a child of her own without a partner. 

in the novel, natsuko, while working on her book, begins to question what it means to raise children, as well as the possibility that she would like to have a child of her own. however, she faces roadblocks on account of strict social norms in japan and the lack of bodily autonomy of women.

the novel, deftly and beautifully, traverses across women’s reproductive rights while posing questions about not only the ethics of anonymous artificial insemination, but of having children in the first place. posing it as both delight and misery, natsuko navigates her way through conflicting ideas about life, death, and birth as a single woman. 

the story deals a lot with natsuko’s own ideas of romance, sex, and loneliness, as well as her own image of herself. she questions her own family and history, reminiscing often on the time she spent with her mother, grandmother, and sister in her childhood, as well as what it meant for her to grow up poor. she considers cycles of poverty, as well as the cycles of mother and daughter, through the lens of a woman with no desire for a longterm partner or sex. 

natsuko, is asexual and sex repulsed. it’s a large part of the story, though it’s not a defining trait in who natsuko is as a person. still, she experiences the desire to have a child. she calls her own womanhood into perspective, doubting it on account of her lack of sexual attraction, detailing it as it “being as if the sexual part of her never grew up”. she states often that she has breasts, that she gets her period, that she is as woman as any other woman, yet still feels that some part of her womahood is missing because of her lack of sexual attraction. 

the novel raises challenging questions of self discovery, as well as details the frustration in being labelled “woman” in society. it beautifully captures the thoughts and burdens that come with womanhood, as well as gender identity and bodily autonomy. 

there are so many aspects of this book i could go into. i truly could not get enough of it while reading. not just because i found the protagonist to be both relatable and interesting, but because kawakami’s voice as an author is so gripping and emotionally real. reading the book, it felt as if natsuko’s thoughts mirrored my own and often, after finishing reading, i questioned whether i had actually read lines in the book or if i had thought of them myself as part of my own inner dialogue. 

it’s so beautifully layered, to the point that i think it would take me multiple posts just to cover what i’ve picked up on the first read-through, and reads like you’re looking back on a life i could have lived at some point. it’s delightfully human but also, uniquely woman. it touches on many of the unspoken (and often unaddressed) trials of being a woman that otherwise would go unheard about. 

i don’t think i’ve ever read anything like it. it touched me in a way no other novel has and detailed an account of womanhood that i felt in a very deep part of my being. this may sound cheesy, but in a way, i felt a large kinship with a lot of the women in the story. whether it was their experiences with men, their experiences with children, or their experiences simply moving through the world, i found connection in all of them. 

#breasts and eggs #mieko kawakami #i could go on for a while summarizing and giving my opinions on my favorite parts about this #it's so beautifully written #and such a fantastic glimpse into the mind of a woman who feels the burden of societal pressure but has no desire to participate in what's- #considered 'the norm' #natsuko is FIERCELY independent but experiences a very human loneliness that's both relatable and slightly frightening #ALL OF IT is deeply emotional in a way that is difficult to describe #i wish i had a better way to put this in words #and i may come back to talk about and break down certain aspects of it #but here is my review <3 #gonna make a new tag for book reviews #review.breasts and eggs #cal.gen #book.breasts and eggs #author.mieko kawakami

[thorarms]

The loki series is fascinating to me in that it says so much more about the writers than it ever could about loki himself

#its difficult to put into words exactly what it is that makes it Like That #like the way the writing feels so oblivious to any of the big concepts or archetypes in the story #and it misses the mark so badly with them. i could do a full rant JUST about how misused the trickster archetype was #the morals are all over the place too with the tva #like ok so the tva is Bad and Fascist or whatever and theres a ton of stylised propaganda lying about #that specifically invokes big brother esque comparisons. but also theres a shot of mobius bathed in angelic light in a church with a halo?? #like mobius is portrayed as one of the good guys in a bad system. he even has a whole bit about finding 'his own glorious purpose' #which im not even gonna touch that rn #he lies to loki. manipulates him. locks him in a room and forces him to replay a shitty memory over and over till he breaks down #and the show frames this as good?? as loki getting what he deserves to induce character development?? #i havent even gotten to sylvie yet. and i wont here bc this is already way too long #loki series critical

[sorio99]

Question: is Jesus Christ Superstar RPF? Discuss.

#jesus christ superstar #theater #rpf but not really #I saw the current national tour this past Sunday #it’s pretty good #definitely not my favorite musical but might be my favorite ALW musical #I think the staging I saw was absolutely amazing though #even if a lot of the words were difficult to make out for me #I especially liked how they did Judas’s accepting of the silver #I don’t know if they do it in other productions #but in the current BAA production the actor puts his hands in the chest containing the ‘silver’ #and when he pulls them out his hands have been covered in silver paint #like accepting the payment literally stained him body and soul #and then when his ghost arrives to perform Superstar #he’s wearing more modern clothes than before since his ghost is seemingly speaking from modern times #but his clothes are also covered in Silver #like his whole spirit has also been corrupted by accepting the money #I also liked how they did the ending #where Judas is one of the only ensemble members to stick around after Jesus dies on the cross #and then Jesus is pulled down and sort of wakes up #and they sit together in front of the crucifix just sort of looking at it #and it’s incredibly ambiguous but still really cool #anyways my point is #Jesus was like for sure 100% a real person #even if you aren’t Christian there is substantial evidence to prove it #and presumably most of the apostles including Judas were also real #so when people on AO3 write angery ship docs about this musical #are they the same or similar to people writing Hamilton fanfic? #and if not then where is the line drawn and how? #again discuss

[welcometogrouchland]

for the drawing requests luz dressing up as eda for halloween if u feel like it xoxox

I ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE IT this was such a delightful request omg. Featuring some bonus clawthorne/Noceda family doodles because they come as a set. Do Not Separate Them

[ID: three images of digital fanart for the owl house. first image shows Luz dressed up as Eda's season 1 design, with her hair slicked back. she's posed mid-twirl, holding her dress in one hand, saying "surprise! I'm you. What do you think?". Next to her is a cartoony doodle of an emotional looking Eda.

The next image is a doodle of Luz and Eda dressed up as each other, looking at each other happily from a side view, labeled "they're matching".

Third image is a sketch page of Luz, Eda, Hunter and Lilith. It features a grinning Luz leaning on hunter saying "hey there sibling! How's my best brother doing?". She's labeled as "being a shit". Hunter looks unimpressed but has a thought bubble that says "sibling..." with a heart. Eda and Lilith are smiling, dressed as Luz and Hunter respectively. Eda says "remind you of anyone?" End ID]

#the owl house #toh #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #hunter toh #lilith clawthorne #i forgot to add in mentions/ideas of halloween but it's fine. you get the gist #that image of luz dressed up as eda at the top was. genuinely so difficult for me to draw i redraw it more times than i care to admit #like scrap it and start over #but like. it was good for me it was character building and i think it turned out cute anyway #hhh i always feel the need to cut down my toh image descriptions because i got used to doing very detailed ones for podcast fanart #cause it was more normalized there and ppl generally had more patience for a lot of words in an image id #and i get so nervous that my lengthy descriptions put ppl off rbing my stuff #(NOT that it matters i am much less insecure in my need for online validation than i used to be- #-i simply wish ppl would take a chance on posts with length-ier ids. it's an accessibility measure and all that) #(but hey I'm not your dad and don't control what u do or don't do) #anyway NO I didn't forget abt me asking for reqs i just need to finish up the second one and that was enough to get my brain working again #there's juice flowing in there now! i have drawing ideas!! huzzah!! #which is all i actually wanted from this specific bout of drawing reqs was just a creative jumpstart #sorry if this is a bit sketchy- that's all i was really up for when i made this lol. i think it's cute and that's goof enough #anyway yeah I'm gonna go read before sleeping now byyyeeee <3

[iwillstabyou]

I’m listening to Hozier and I’m feeling emotions I didn’t think even existed

#hozier #francesca hozier #I pity neurotypicals in a way because they’ll never experience music like this #and I genuinely don’t know what that would be like #sometimes I hate being autistic #like when I’m about to have a meltdown in the airport because it’s too hot and my ‘friend’ just yelled at me for being ‘difficult’ #or when I shut down because I’ve socialised for too long and the room smells too strongly of air freshener #or when I spend years getting bullied for being a freak #but then other times I’ll be listening to music #and I’ll just feel so… euphoric #so… real #so… aaaaaaaaa #i can’t put it into words #it’s the same way I feel when I’m alone and I stare up at the stars #I just feel so… much #and it’s beautiful #and in these moments #i love being autistic #yeah it makes my life really difficult a lot of the time #but it also allows me to feel like this #and I wouldn’t change that for the world #just autism things #music #my random musings #hozier has turned me into a poet #honestly might make these tags into a separate post because damn that resonated

[jorvikzelda]

Found myself knowing with very sudden and very strong certainty that I needed this horse. I'm still not sure what I actually want his name to be and I already changed it once after purchase. That's what being on SSO at 1 am gets you.

#sso #ssoblr #z talks #z's photos #h: dreamwhisper #it WAS wayfinder #and now it's dreamwhisper #but I went through so many names in the purchase window that I feel halfway to illiterate #highlights included faithkeeper dreamkeeper dreamguardian windstrider lightseeker trailseeker trailfinder and probably more #considered moondream also #and twinflame #this game is DIFFICULT and not because of the quests its just hell to choose names for your pretty horsies #this is my... 26th horse? i THINK? #and i try not to reuse the same first or second words #ill use something ive got as a first word for another horses second (and vice versa) for example ive got both dewdrop and mountaindew #but i dont like using the same first word twice #WHICH GETS VERY HARD AFTER A WHILE. #also good thing I didnt go for a -keeper name bc my lavernas name is crownkeeper LMAO. forgot about her for a hot sec #I might genuinely be happy with dreamwhisper though. its a nice name #also i put him down as eternal because lore #and hes a stallion because i feel like doing a little snippy snippy on an IMMORTAL horse's stallion stones is just plain rude yk #anyway. my cat is very sternly telling me its bedtime. dont think i can say no to him

[truckstoptigers]

i remember i'd hear about how my state is one of the most dangerous places in terms of sex trafficking and i would think, what an awful thing. how terrible is it that my state has such an issue with trafficking that it's enough for it to be a well-known, well-documented serious danger/risk area.

and i still didn't think it would ever happen to me.

#familial trafficking is a very real thing and i am not okay :) #i still have a hard time coming to terms w it. i mean. thats what happened. i was trafficked. but it wasnt a stranger. #it was my fucking dad!! what the fuck!!!!! #he wouldnt stick around whenever hed bring me somewhere so it could happen. he literally left me w men he didnt even really know. #i remember one of them asked me once 'think your dad would let me keep you?' and all i could do was cry because well. #what exactly was stopping him from taking me? it sure as hell wasnt the law because me being seven fucking years old didnt matter. #im sure some of them thought about it. i just got lucky. i only got to go back home because of dumb luck. not everyone gets that chance. #sometimes i still feel like shit for using the word 'trafficking' to describe what happened to me because i know thats what it was #but it still doesnt feel like its *my* word to use. like im blowing it all out of proportion even though thats. literally what it was. #i dont know how to talk to anyone about it. just typing this made me have to put my phone down for a minute so i could try to calm down. #and then i also had to set it down for like an hour for the same reason. i just. im gonna go play minecraft for a few hours. #csa vent #trauma vent #actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #tw trafficking #forgetting about this shit for years and having the memories come flooding back all of a sudden has been. SO difficult. #im so tired of thinking about it but i cant stop.

[bacon-neko]

Nano 2023 Day 19

The boys start hatching a plan

“Unless I tell Father what you’re planning,” said Hermes, gears turning, a plan forming.

Apollo froze, bright eyes hard and sharp. “You wouldn’t.”

Hermes shrugged. “I might. What’s stopping me?” The archer’s hand flexed and Hermes rolled his eyes, waving him off. “None of that. I’m looking for a deal, not a fight.”

The messenger floated in a circle around him, laid back, arms crossed beneath his head, while Apollo’s eyes trailed after him, appraising him with a thin frown. “What kind of deal?”

“One that gets us both what we want,” Hermes supplied. “Athena was gonna send the boy to Tartaros.”

Apollo’s brows shot up. “What?”

“On Father’s orders but still,” Hermes said. “I wanted to go against it, but Athena reasoned that he’d be bound to notice. I mean, his top general and head messenger trying to hide something he wants very dearly to get rid of? The odds weren’t exactly stacked in our favor.”

The realization dawned across Apollo’s face. “But Ares is different.”

Hermes grinned. “Bingo.”

“Father doesn’t want Ares around on the best of days,” Apollo said, excited now, waving his hands as he spoke. “There’s no way he’d notice he’s gone now. We’d just need to keep Father from noticing while we track the two of them down.”

“And between us, we’d have no trouble,” Hermes finished, delighted to be on the same page.

But then Apollo paused. “Us?”

Hermes clicked his tongue. “Well, that’s where the deal comes in: I want you on Olympus with me.”

“Why?”

“I want you help.”

“Wouldn’t that raise suspicions?” Apollo argued. “God of prophecy and all hanging around, making people wonder why I’m there?”

“More than you roaming across the countryside?” Hermes gestured to his everything. “You’re not exactly subtle.”

“I can be subtle,” he said, a mite defensive, chin upturned.

“You could be a distraction. Look, I can lie through my teeth all day, but Father is.” Hermes sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face. “He snapped at Athena yesterday. We’re on thin ice up there and I don’t wanna see what happens when it cracks. I’d feel better if you were there.”

#hopefully i'm not playing too fast and loose with dynamics and personalities #definitely wanna go back and make sure everyone's staying in character which is hard to keep track of in 200+ word bursts #i do think hermes and apollo are fun as a unit like #day 1 of knowing each other is big “today my brother pushed me so i'm starting a gofundme to put him down” #what with the cow stealing and the lying #but the myth record also says that apollo likes him the bestest #and i think it's fun that they had that growth #i'm also trying to make sure hermes isn't just going along with whatever the last person who spoke with to him thinks #a difficult task #my post #writing

[asterchats]

i want to liveblog more books i am reading what about that, huh, tumblr. what if more excerpts of things that are just really cool. the other day i was reading a thing about motivational interviewing and it gave a v brief definition of trauma including "trauma can be caused by a variety of things, from experiences in war, poverty, rape, right through to hearing about someone else's trauma or sociopolitical events like genocide" or something along those lines but the important part was it said "sociopolitical events like genocide" and it was so right actually. hadn't categorised it in that spot in my brain but you know, it's not at all an incorrect spot to put it. yeah, book. you're right, sociopolitical indeed

#this is NOT the interesting thing or the book i want to liveblog actually i just #want to read more of the ummmmmmmmmmmmmm #'the trauma of care' book i keep picking it up and putting it down bc it has been difficult to like #uhhh #keep track of where i am up to actually it's just that the bookmarking system doesn't work #but anyway #i will share more interesting things i enjoy and you can all just enjoy them with me #appreciate if u guys say words abt them sometimes but only if you wanna i am just vibing i do not Need that just enjoy it #i also just enjoy posting the things in the first place. having somewhere to say 'this happened in my brain!' yknow

[transgender-catboy]

I am here to say something inappropriate in the tags.

and then go the fuck to bed.

#just tellin ya flat out. #no little tee hee im gonna spam a million things first. bury my gay thoughts deep deep down #just. here at the top #yeah i got this. okay. so. I'm not gonna be coherent. just express my feelings. #him. uh. ... okay gimme a minute. i got this. #it's just. idk. i feel like a goober when i try and type out all the dirty thoughts... meanwhile the things I'm drawing? #yeah okay. wtf man. it's just putting it into words is difficult #okay yeah anyways I'm gonna peg him. i just know he'd make absolutely fuckin adorable little sounds #he's a talker. just nonstop blabbering. but it's especially bad when you got him bouncing on a . ya know. #desperate whining and praise the whole fuckin time #i actually wrote more here but i got shy and deleted it. teehee #:3€

[dirt-str1der]

I dont care about majima x sagawa btw but i care a lot about their relationship regardless because i want them to have the most toxic dealings and skewed power dynamics with each other as possible and i them both to have increasingly warped perceptions of each other (worlds most incorrect uncle-nephew relationship)

#Listen to my problems #sagawas like majima chan i bought pudding for you since chewing is hard right now and majimas like (muffled) can you kill yourself . and #sagawa is like (laughs) keep up that tone and ill break your jaw again #like obviously sagawa isnt doing charity work putting majima back on his feet because majima has to pull his own weight too but over time #majima became less of an ‘investment’ and more like his hotheaded young apprentice / nephew who is really smart (sagawas very proud of him) #but also doesnt know anything good for himself because hes an idiot and sagawa needs to do everything for him sometimes or he’ll pull the #most ASININE stunts imaginable. like kid i do Good by you and you do the same for me as long as you keep your head down and run the grand. #he cannot fathom why majima wants to claw his way back into the tojo because sagawa Knows shimano and he Knows that shimano is bad news and #will definitely send majima into the jaws of death over and over and seriously what a WASTE of good talent !!! unfortunately majima is the #same type of stupid as his oath brother but it doesnt mean he wants to see the kid get himself killed (wise words from a man who got himself #killed) | and majima ... it was not difficult to start going crazy about sagawa at first sight because he just came out of a very violent #place where every touch meant more torture and pain then suddenly hes being put in the capable hands of a man whos like a fucking angel #sagawa feeds clothes and bathes him and majima cant help but act like being cared for is the worst thing thats ever happened to him theres #too much touching and hes completely dependent on sagawa who checks his weight daily and changes his bandages and cleans his leaky infected #eye and he wants nothing more than to be left alone but he cant do anything by himself and hes too devastated to be grateful. its gross !! #and whenever he inevitably breaks the hell down sagawa is always there to hold and comfort him and what the hell else can he do but seek #comfort in the only person that ‘cares’ about him when sagawa is so good at pretending ... is he pretending ? who gives a fuck anymore man #sagawas punishment and comfort all in one ... hes a means to an end .. hes majimas caretaker and his gaoler. the guy who knows everything #about him and the one who’ll use every last bit of it against him oh god wait #this is just isabelle and emma damnit damnit im gonna go read purromised neverland again

[crybaby-bkg]

so frustrated bc I always get the worse writers block whenever I’m pmsing bc I keep convincing myself that my writing is shit and no one’s gonna like it so I don’t write it and then regret it bc when I DO wanna write it I forget the premise of it and akdhdkdjd

so so so so so so frustrating and annoying and I yam So Tired of it all

#I had an idea about being like one of those people who work in like country clubs n shit #and catering to retired heroes but I just can’t seem to word anything right #lowkey wanna cry lmao I’m so frustrated and irritable #and I’m cold which makes it even harder to type #just fucked up all around lol #also I wanna submit for my schools writing club contest #but the president of the organization is putting so many restrictions on it and it’s stressing me out so bad #it’s already a struggle to get a good idea out and to be so limited is so very difficult #sorry I’m full of complaints I’m just not doing well mentally at all and everything sucks #I made my first ice cream cake today and was so proud of it #and then someone made fun of how it looked and I just #I know they were joking but it really made me wanna cry especially after already having a draining day #and that was the one thing I was happy about ya know???? #SORRY I’m just gonna go lay down and try to read some maybe #—in store chit chat! 🍫 #tw: vent