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#but like yeah even if you cant understand why i felt so much about this dumb scene i just hope you
biblicalhorror · 2 years
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Reading a court of thorns and roses bc it's been rec'd to me many times (by the same two friends mostly) and also I've never really read a smut novel before and Jesus christ this protagonist is insufferable
#first of all its like the author tried to recreate katniss everdeen without any fundamental understanding of her character#like the reason the whole 'i hunt and provide for my family because no one else will' thing works for katniss is that her mother is ill#and her sister is like 8 years old#so like yeah obviously she'd be the one to provide#but feyre is like 'i have to do everything around here because my two OLDER sisters simply dont feel like doing chores'#like what????#i get that her dying mother for some reason put the responsibilities on her but it makes 0 sense#like whoever wrote this was clearly a youngest sibling with a martyr complex because its just. so heavy handed#also her insistence that nesta is simply too shallow and vapid to do what she does makes me roll my eyes every other page#honestly justice for nesta#1) if my sister started doing all of the hunting and providing without ever communicating why i would probably assume she wanted to do it#2) if after our mothers death she started completely resenting everything i do and glaring at me constantly id think she blames me for it#3) being around that kind of smug negative energy would absolutely make me start to be a little mean too even just as a defense mechanism#4) shes constantly assuming the worst in nesta and is proven at least twice to be an unreliable narrator in regards to nestas priorities#also that comment feyre made about how smug she felt after leaving knowing that her family would 'starve without her' god what an asshole#like you cant present yourself as so much morally better than your sisters and then turn around and say shit like that#anyway im hoping she becomes less insufferable as the story goes on#im told the first book is the worst in the series so i just gotta power through for the sake of world building#j reads acotar series#<<<feel free to blacklist if u dont want spoilers and/or critiques of this series bc i plan to vent on here a lot abt it
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mrfoox · 2 years
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Just remembered how after my autistic diagnose every offical person was so careful to approach me about it at first. I know that's probably standard bc not everyone will like those news or know how to handle it but I legit just had doctors go 'hey... So... Are you okay? How do you feel?' and I was like 'haha, nice, so I haven't just been faking/now I know why I'm so different'
#miranda talking shit#And i mean... I wouldnt be diagnosed at all if i didnt personally call for it. I wouldn't have been able to see anyone unless i brought it#Up. Bc ive always been good at masking no one even considerd i was on the spectrum. And it wasnt until i got friends who was diagnosed and#Discussed it with me and their experiences + me reading up on it myself ... Where i was like wait uh ... Actually lol that's me haha#But i know plenty of people probably don't like to get the diagnosis. For me personally it was 90% a gopd thing#It felt a lot like... Ive always known i was 'diffrent' and ive always felt something was so wrong with me bc i didny work like other peope#And then it was like .... No im different but this is the thing that makes me different and its not something 'wrong' with me#For me it felt very freeing to get i guess a label or name on why im different. Before iy was all just... On me?#Like it was my own fault. Why couldnt i do this or just act normal why couldnt i just handle things others could? It all felt very. ...#Personal. Like it was my own fault ? Idk man. It was just great to get a reason to why i was diffrent and that it actually ... Made sense?#There were reasons behind why i got so overwhelmed or behaved weirdly etc yeah#My relationship with my own autism is the weirdest shit ever bc i dont personally think there's many positives with this diagnose#I can think of 10 cons per 1 pro basically but i also... Never had any bad feelings about getting it on paper that i have it?#I know my life would be much easier if i didnt have it. But i also know it cant be cured and is just part of me so#I have a fairly good or at least neatrul general feeling about it. Before i was diagnosed I'd cry and have breakdowns as to#Why i was so weird and why i couldnt be like everyone else. I got that on an weekly basis. After my diagnose? Very rarely.#I guess thats why im so... Supporting and maybe pushing others who think they are on the spectrum to check it out#Many will think oh but it doesnt DO anything. It doesnt change anything. It doesnt help to get it on paper ya know ?#And well yeah i guess technically that's true but man idk. If you have ever felt alienated like ive been my entire childhood and teen years#Getting the diagnose was so nice. And i got to learn about myself in much different ways than before. And understand that i am in fact not#Alone and not so misunderstood by everyone on earth lol.#@anyone who think they might be autistic give me an message and lets talk tbh if you want and need someone to discuss that with#Autism tag
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hyperexplosion · 6 months
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#vent again just ignore please and thank you. chewing at my arm. ik why we have to wait till next year for me to get help i do know why and#i understand but it also just sucks. its at least helping though no matter what i just gotta hold on but i rly dont want to hold on anymore#id say i sound pathetic or worthless but im not. ik im not. talked about mental health with my best friend today snd idk made me so self#aware of myself i feel gross and ugly. i cant even look in mirror by how ugly i am. i want to drink. i really want to drink. it sucks.#ditched or the person seems bored.. there's no point lmai.#the craving sucks. im sleepin almost all day and than night fucking sucks. i should be sleeping now but i need to write my thoughts out or#i will feel worse i will feel so much worse snd i dont want to be a burden. i dont want to bother people. i hope when im like.. getting hel#and getting better i hope i can like idk not be afraid to ask people to vibe with me. maybe one day but im so scared amount i have been#and sorry tired of hearing same 'just do something distract yourself' yeah only so much a distraction is s distraction. i never felt this#low.. i never felt this low for months now. im so tired idk this week is busy maybe that will help. maybe decorating for my fav holiday wil#help my brain a little. than again why would she want me around. i think about how dad asked mom if i was okay on my birthday. is the facad#fading? are people catching on? i need to stop before i see my brother on friday. even my best friend noticed he hugged me but i didnt even#hug back i just leaned into him for awhile before moving away. i want to die. will i? no. i wont. im too scared. but i want to.#i can sleep now.#i think people should stop lying i hate liars i am not afraid to drop anyone that does.
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Went for a walk w the bf today and he said he's starting to better understand the sort of stuff I've gone through with my dad and his gf and the effects that it still has on me today
#<3#truly insane things compared to like normal loving family#the graduation thing wasnt even a big deal and i showed him the texts i got afterwards and he was like wtf#my brother also thought it was bizarre@#he helped to stop me from continuing to text lol#i cant help but feel like the bf shouldn't have gone as hard on them as he has and I'll probably talk to him about it#but it is kind of funny to see my stepmum seeeething after someone calls her out on being a huge mean bitch#over text i was like 'i get that u wanted some air but i felt it was an important moment which is why i felt hurt#and why i reacted the way i did. i hope you can understand that'#and she was like 'yeah we're not gonns resolve this'#lmao she cant even acknowledge that my being upset is a normal response to walking out like i have to apologise for that??#theyyyy walked out. i was sad. didnt call names didnt do anything mean. just was sad and hurt.#now they could still stand behind their decision to leave and that would be that. like it's happenend no one can change it etc.#but i wish theyd acknowledge that my response wasnt mean or bratty. they walked out when i needed them.#stepmum is trying to enfore her idea of me being an awful spoilt brat. instead of trying to understand why I was upset#... i think them leaving is a dick move but i can understand their reasons. i wish she could extend the same like. grace. like.#it felt very symbolic to be running after them because they were leaving right when i walked towards them to connect with them.#like truly the epitome of our relationship. rejecting me when i try to connect and then bullying me for feeling hurt.#when i lived with them this would've turned into a week long affair with me being shouted at every night for 1.5h#imagine screaming at a 14yo that she is manipulative and mean and cruel and awful and horrible. screaming so much that u spit in her face.#she moved onto my brother when i left and when he became cold and indifferent to her shouting#she moved on to her eldest daughter who just started living with her dad more#'if everyone you meet is an asshole chances are you are the asshole'#if u chase kids out of their home the kids arent the problem. you are.
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jealousmartini · 24 days
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So I minishifted to my kpop idol dr last night and I'm loosing my mind
Lowkey still kinda freaking out about it because it's only just when the realisation settled in that I FUCKING SHIFTED. AND TWO OF MY FATTEST CRUSHES WERE STOOD RIGHT THERE. FUCK. OKay let me explain what happened before I IMPLODE!😆
So given how startled I was when I woke up in what i assume is my studio room? (It was a pretty cute studio and looked like it WOULD be mine🤭🤞🏾) I was only there for a good 2 minutes before freaking out and shifting back like the COWARD I AM, so I'll tell you everything that happened whilst I was there😁
Okay so first of all, I woke up in "my" studio right next to my group leader Mei and my other best friend on the other end and I was SO confused at the time because I was trying to figure out where I was. I didn't understand why I was in a different room but like at the same time it felt familiar.
But anyway, I felt so comfortable and warm and realised it was because I had a really soft blanket wrapped around my body, which I suspect was from one of my members?? Maybe?? and then Mei looked over at me and noticed I was awake, she was like "Youre finally awake Keesh" and rubbed my back so gently i could have fallen asleep right there and then again. It was like I got a taste of satisfaction for my touch starved self.
And GOSH her voice was so much more raspy than I thought it was going to be i was quite taken aback😭😭 and her face sculpted by Aphrodite herself kinda switched to a concerned expression when she saw me looking around the room frantically like I didn't know where I was, she asked me if everything was alright, and I couldn't even reply with my voice because I was so stunned so I nodded weakly with most unconvincing smile ever because I was still processing what the hell was going on.
Then suddenly, I heard like two worryingly familiar male voices coming close to the studio room we were in☹️☹️(internally i was like FUCK OFF I cant do this rn). My head literally snapped to the door when i heard it creek open and standing right there was the glorious man he is, Min Yoongi, leaning on the door frame (with long black hair btw) and the gorgeous man he is, Jimin, peaking his head through from behind the door😭😭 (I think i remember him being Blonde?). When I tell you my pulse picked up at a million miles per second. Seeing Yoongi and Jimin in the flesh is something else you guys. And to say Yoongi is intimidating is an UNDERSTATMENT☠️☠️ those two were so hot oh my GOD. I was lowkey panicking because I was NOT prepared to come face to face with AANYONE from my kpop dr nevermind BTS☠️☠️ even though i intended to shift there last night.
But anyway, i heard Yoongi ask my members ask if I was still asleep because my food was getting cold, and Mei said, "Oh yeah, yeah, she just woke up.." and Immediately placed my head back on the table and covered my face with the blanket, PRAYINGGG she'd think I fell back asleep WHICH SHE DID THANK GOD🙏🏾 and right before I woke up here I heard Jimin saying something like "you should wake her up before he eats it all??" He was giggling while he was saying that, too. And then I shifted back here.
OH AND LET ME NOT FORGET TO ADD, THIS ENTIRE DIALOGUE WAS IN KOREAN?? AND I UNDERSTOOD IT ALL.
This experience is actually one of my most scariest/exciting/crazy ones ever. Not even just because I shifted there, but because of what happened prior to the shift. Me and my best friend were yapping to each other about BTS, and we were talking about the signs we picked up on and then the realisation I came to. The moment me and my friend and I made this silly girl group as a joke, it seems that we created a butterfly effect in our reality. And now, whatever sign I get about BTS, "coincidentally," always links back to my girl group.
Anyway so yeah idk wether or not I want to shift back because LORD I CRAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN but like I am so intimidated by Yoongi and even Jimin I might just freak out the next time I see them again😭😭 @livingmydreamlife5555 @samara444 @4ellieluv @theshifterbear
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lemmetreatya · 1 year
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content: black coded reader, soft ony omg, cunnilingus, blowjob
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nerd!onyankopon who doesnt get into too much trouble and sticks to himself during most of uni
nerd!onyankopon whos so good to you — always cheering you on with your hobbies and making you feel secure within your relationship. he didnt entertain other girls and even when they did have the audacity to try it with him, he knew how to stay faithful.
“look sweetheart, im flattered you’d try move to me but imma tell you two reasons why im turning you down.”
the blonde girl gave nerd!onyankopon a quizzical look, her eyebrows raising at the sheer distraught of a man denying her.
“reason two, my beautiful wife of a girlfriend over there wouldn’t like that.” hed say as he pointed to you. “but reason number one, is because i wouldn’t like that and neither want to do wrong by her a day in my life. now do us both a favour and keep it pushing.”
nerd!onyankopon who knew he was smart but didnt allow his intelligence to undermine how you felt in the relationship. if you said the stars were made yesterday then nerd!onyankopon would agree and fight anyone who disagreed.
nerd!onyankopon who was superb at time-keeping but when it came to spending time with you, would rather throw time away just so he could be in your presence undisturbed.
“shawty, imma be real with you right now” nerd!onyankopon flops his head onto the warmness of your plush thighs, his throat making a whiney noise along with it. “i really dont wanna study for this final.”
you can only but laugh at his uncompliance, your hand automatically lifting to pat at his head.
“come on, pa. you know this shits important.” you try.
“yeah but i have no incentive to do it.”
with a raised eyebrow, you give your pouting boyfriend a look.
“you want an incentive? oh okay, ill give you an incentive.” you giggle as you lean down to whisper something* into his ear.
all of a sudden, nerd!onyankopon is shooting upwards to look at you, his eyes wide and his smile addictive.
“for real?!” he beams.
“for real for real!”
nerd!onyankopon doesnt waste time in scrambling to go sit at his desk and start revising, suddenly excited for what you had in store for him.
*(you promised him you’d play 2K with him)
nerd!onyankopon who was nervous to approach the topic of sex with you because he didn’t want to make you feel pressured into anything or make you feel like he just wanted you for your body.
nerd!onyankopon was adamant that he sat down and had an open conversation with you about how to approach your sex life — and you did — but it turns out you both had the same concerns and were pretty much on the same page
nerd!onyankopon who waited a few weeks before trying anything.
nerd!onyankopon who somehow ended up between your legs whilst you were watching a random movie. his mouth understanding against your cunt as he made out with your lower lips. how hed occasionally glance up at you or squeeze your hand to make sure you were okay, loving the small pretty sounds you made whenever he’d sensually suckle on your clit.
how he’d say “you dont have to return anything” once you’d come down from your high. “i just wanted to make you feel good” but you’re adamant you always want to make him feel the way he made you.
youve never heard nerd!onyankopon make these sort of noises before — the experience is so new to you both — but you love how short his breaths are when you suck at the head of his dick and then engulf your mouth over the rest of him.
how nerd!onyankopon cant help but give you praises of “you’re so good at this, mama” or “just like that, jusssst like that, princess”.
even when hes about to cum, nerd!onyankopon is still so patient with you. “im g-gonna…baby, take your…let go, im gonna cum.” you unclamp your mouth from his cock, eyes doey as you look up at him, but not all before he lets out a guttural moan and spurts his load over your cheeks and top lip.
“oh my god, im so sorry.” hed try to issue an apology, thinking youd be put off by where he landed but you only shake your head.
“don’t worry. its fine. i just wanted to make you feel good” you echo and nerd!onyankopon has to stop himself from falling more in love
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for: @neptunes1nterweb
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dreamauri · 12 days
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♪ — 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗦 - part four lando norris x  fem! streamer! reader (fluff) “. . . lando finds himself addicted to playing video games with this girl he cant get out of his head.”
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( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )
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“This is pointless” he thought tiredly as he turned to sleep on his other side, only to feel frustrated anger boil in him soon enough. Lando's been restless for a good few hours now and he feels like he's losing his mind. The Japanese Grand Prix week had ended and he still couldn't shut his eyes for the day.
He felt angry, and agitated. He didn't even know what drove him to pick up his phone and dial your contact. What was that going to solve, bothering you with his problems? Besides, it's a bad idea because it's 1am at yours. He'll just hang up and pray that sleep takes him.
Well, his phone didn't stay on his nightstand for long because as soon as you called back he had practically smashed the green button and pressed the phone to his ear. Lando opened his mouth ready to throw complaints, only to stop short hearing you yawn, which he hated to admit that it helped his heart rate calm down faster than you can blink.
"It's one in the morning, Lan." You yawned, shuffling to find a comfortable position where you didn't have to hold your phone up.
"I know— I'm sorry." The brit sighed, rubbing his eyes, laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry I woke you up." His voice came off as soft, he was clearly sorry. You could hear how tired and exhausted he was too.
"No, it's ok," you shook your head. "Tell me what's wrong." Lando sighed, staying silent for a few minutes, trying to search through his thoughts. Why was he feeling this way?
"I saw the race." You hum after a few moments, snuggling into your bed sheets as your phone rested on the pillow somewhere beside you. "That overtake was amazing." Your little tired giggle made Lando's heart skip a beat as he rested his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling.
"I was watching you on TV. My roommate thought I was crazy. Maybe I was being a bit too loud. Maybe I wanted my voice to reach you aaaaalll the way in Japan so you could go faster." You joked, chucking softly at the idea. Lando found himself smiling at the thought, imagining you jumping and cheering for him.
"How would I go any faster?" Lando chuckled, feeling his muscles relax and his eyes close.
"I don't know? You're Lando Norris. You drive super fast cars." You tease, making Lando laugh at your reference to his twitter bio. How you always make the minutes feel yellow and joyful, he'll never understand. The call has only been on for 13 minutes and you've already made him feel much better and lighter.
"Yeah," he nodded agreeing, feeling his smile widen. “I drive super fast cars.” He agreed with a happy sigh. Yep, he definitely felt much better now that you're here, even if you're not physically present.
It was as if you were mending him with magic. Not with stitches or bandages, or glue. No need for needle and thread, or having to change gauze or having to put layers of glue. You made Lando feel as if he was glowing.
"What's your favourite movie?" He asked out of nowhere. You took a second or two before giving your answer.
"I think I'll pick . . . Corpse bride." you hummed as you shifted to sleep on your other side. Lando's eyebrows furrowed in surprise at your choice. 
"Corpse bride? Why Corpse Bride?" You chuckled and shrugged. 
"It's a good movie. It makes my heart feel . . . I can't explain it. It's just a good movie." Lando thought for a second, scratching under his eye. 
"Well I'll have to come watch it next time because I've never watched the full thing." You gasp at his confession, making him laugh. 
"How dare you?" You pretend to be offended, making Lando and you laugh for a good few moments. "What about you? What's your favourite movie?" You ask. Lando held his breath before pulling it out. 
"I'm not sure. It keeps changing every now and then." He shrugged, finding himself smiling.
"That's a very Lando Norris thing to say." Lando found himself laughing, face heating up. 
"What's yourrrrrr," Lando paused for a second trying to think of something. "Favourite colour."
"Oh! Green for sure." You nodded with a hum. 
"Green? What type of green?" Lando asked further. 
"No, no, it's my turn to ask. What's your favourite colour?"
"Fluorescent yellow." Lando answered without hesitation. "Now. What type of green?" He asked the question again. You hummed for a second. 
"I'd say, like, the green on your helmet. But like, with purple. But not fluorescent purple. A not so dark purple" You nodded. The brit found himself smiling heavily, cheeks burning. He's glad this was a voice call, otherwise he's not sure how he'd hide his face from you. 
“You like my helmet’s colour?” 
“Hey, pretty boy. It’s my turn to ask.”
The questions went on until you decided to invite Lando for a small game after he kept insisting that you should fall asleep. but you kept declining, insisting to give him company so he's not alone, not mentioning the fact that you heavily enjoy his company and voice.
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"Huge farm." Lando commented as he walked his little avatar around your house and crops. 
"Yeah," you nodded. "been playing this game for a long while now." You hummed smiling as you followed Lando around.
"Oh look! An NPC!" the brunette started running circles around the kid making you chuckle.
"That's my son." You say and immediately get a gasp from the other side of the call.
"You have a son?!" You found yourself laughing. "How'd you make him?" You found yourself laughing even harder at the question.
"What - do - you - mean?" You asked between wheezes, barely being able to breathe. Lando was even angrier when he found out you divorced your husband, insisting you file for child support.
"I'll marry you, Y/n! I'll look after you and your son." Lando said confidently, running in circles around you this time. “I’ll support you financially and be the father figure he needs. Marry me, marry me, marry me!”
"I think-" you tried to catch your breath, wiping tears of laughter. "I think I have a ring." You say and can immediately hear Lando's excited squeal from the call.
"I'm gonna get married before Max! Ha!" You thought you were going to drown in dopamine at this point, hugging your stomach as you offered Lando the ring. "WAIT, I DIDN'T PREPARE A SPEECH." He panicked.
"Most amazing and beautiful lady in all the lando-" The guy was too stressed in his thoughts that he accidentally said his own name instead of land, which was not helping you calm down from your laughing fit. "IN ALL THE LAND! I meant in all the land!" he corrected himself quickly.
"Y/n dev L/n. Will you marry me, lLando, in this RPG pixelated game and take my last name," he said quickly. "Wait! wait." He shouted, cutting himself off. You saw your screen flash with colours, seeing Lando open his camera and lamp. "Will you, Y/n devs L/n marry me." The Brit repeated holding his hands as if he was opening a ring box.
You bit your lip to suppress a smile, turning your own camera and setting it to lean on the heap of texts on your night stand. The PC on your bed illuminated your face just enough. Lando felt his heart hammer in his chest seeing your smile and eyes. So sleepy yet so effortlessly beautiful to the point butterflies swarmed his stomach.
"My, sir Lando. I would love to marry you." You nodded sheepishly, trying to brush your messy hair to look a little more presentable despite you both looking like a stuffed animal that got chewed on by a dog. You had thought Lando was naked at first glance but turns out he was sleeping in his underwear. You were no better,  in a mickey mouse shirt with also no pants.
Lando put his hand over his heart, pretending cupid had shot an arrow through. "Oh, my wife." He sighed happily, making you laugh and blush.
You felt . . . some sort of way after this fake proposal. It was only in Stardew Valley. But you still felt something stir in your heart, seeing Lando's genuine smile. For a moment, you both forgot you weren't actually married, spending the rest of the night doing couple things and having the fake wedding which you recorded for memory.
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wildesqdreams · 1 year
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okay this blurb idea just popped into my head and i cant stop thinking about it !!!
vin rambling, talking to you about something that he loves (anime, weezers etc.) hehe and he’s just so into it and it just melts your heart so you just smooch him midway and but then ask him to continue just that he’s so cute you couldn't help yourself hehe
i LOVEEEE your work and i’m so excited for your future fics!! <33
sending love
🧿
love and all
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navigation | masterlist | request | taglist
pairing - vinnie hacker x female!reader
a/n: thank you for the kind words, sweetheart. sending you love too. i absolutely adore this lovely request and i hope you'll enjoy this little blurb.
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y/n lifted her head and rested her chin on vinnie's chest while looking at him.
the room was filled with the boy's voice. just him talking about the new anime, that he had started to watch, and how amazing it is.
her body felt warm. being so close to him made her feel safe. his touch. his fingers stroking her hair. she adored it all.
the girl's heart melted at the sight of her lover. she noticed how his eyes lit up, as he continued talking about the show. that's what she loved about him. how compassionate he is about the things that mean so much to him. how he notices the little details, that for others would be nothing special.
"and then it-," but before vinnie could finish his sentence, y/n leaned up and kissed him.
he was a little shocked at the sudden interaction.
to be honest, the girl didn't even know why she did it so unexpectedly, but the way this boy made her feel was indescribable.
y/n disattached her lips from his soft ones, resting her chin back on his chest, her gaze remaining on vinnie.
"what was that for?" his lip corners lifted, as he saw the beautiful smile on the girl's face.
"you're just cute," y/n's smile grew bigger when she saw the light pink tint appear on vinnie's face.
he put her hair behind her ear, before resting his hand on her cheek, softly caressing her skin, "you okay?"
the girl leaned into his touch, "yeah, just love you... so much."
"and i love you," he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
as he got back into his position, y/n rested her cheek on his chest, "now, please, continue."
vinnie let out a laugh. his hand found its way back to her hair, gently stroking it, as he continued to ramble about the topic.
they stayed like that for hours.
the couple talked about the most random stuff, but that didn't bother nor bore them. speaking about these small things, made them closer. made them understand each other better. it made them see each other in a different light.
it made them see each other in a much deeper and more emotional way, which made the love and the connection grow even stronger.
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taglist: @willowpains @ellajjade21 @ilovejjmaybank
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pixieskie · 5 months
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˖˚˳⊹"i really do love you.. im sorry"˖˚˳⊹
-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?
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as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..
“helloooo” scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.
Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. “what’re you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?”
“sorry.. i just spaced out” you said embarrassed.. “just continue the movie, ill pay attention this time”.. Scara simply muttered a small ‘fine’ and resumed it.
Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.
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“Yes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....”
“ooh i just bought a new bikini…..”
“wont it be too sunny? ill get tanne….”
you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip… you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.
“guys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are close”
“again? but didnt you say the same last week…”
“oh come on! itll be so fun…”
“ugh she does the same everytime…”
Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..
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The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..
Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..
You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..
But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..
Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..
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You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.
“where the fuc- YOURE HERE?” Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. “Ive been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat something”
You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. “Scara?” he was about to leave but turned back to look at you “yeah?”
“I love you”
He chuckled in confusion “yeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.”
You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..
You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..
And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..
Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..
There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.
‘Im so tired… Im so tired..” You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. ‘i hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be done’
You took a deep breath in.. “i really do love you.. im sorry”...
…..
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tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25
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coolprettyleo · 1 month
Text
my soul has changed? - will smith au
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wc: 1.4k
tw: depression, suggestion of an ED, awkwardness? mean girl.
will smith x oc celebrini sister!
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
lola celebrini was in a point of her life where everything felt still. she was pretty sure she was suffering from depression and it was a cycle she didn't know how to get out of.
she would wake up, go to school, go to work, and then sleep. she was lucky if she fitted a meal in between that meant she had lost tons of weight.
she had been a pretty healthy teen, she played hockey up until high school alongside her brothers; but when the time came to play college hockey, she got no offers. contributing to her depression.
it was a sport she held so much love and dedication, she couldn't understand why she hadn't been good enough? I mean her brothers were good enough, they got college offers. macklin was even projected to go first overall, so why couldn't she?
those were thoughts that were constantly haunting her mind. if she found something to forget them they would flood back in, like if they wanted her to be a lifeless doll she had been feeling like.
her family had been really worried for her. she had finally seen her brothers after a year, at the NCCAA playoffs and it only caused them to worry more.
flashbacks
lola knew that macklin and aiden were gonna bombard her with questions as soon as they were alone. they could hardly recognize her. growing up she was always a smiling person with a big personality and now she was about forty pounds lighter and was a ghost of the person she used to be.
"april what's going on" macklin said shutting the door behind him.
"what do you mean"
"cut the bullshit. I know your not okay, you barley answer my text anymore, what's wrong"
"it's nothing mack-"
"no it's not nothing, maybe I can fix it-
"you cant 'fix' it"
"and why not-"
"because I don't know what wrong with me!"
that had been about two weeks ago. she just didn't know what to tell her family. she really didn't understand why she had been feeling that way.
she was currently at work where she was a barista in a cute coffee shop. she honestly loved working there, she had got the job when she was in high school and had kept it till college. seeing as she didn’t move far away for college, choosing to stay close to her parents.
she often wondered if she might be happier if she moved away just like everyone else did, just like her brothers did. but it would always end in her telling herself; that it's not worth dwelling on.
it was currently six am and at this time of day there weren’t many customers. the cafe was always busy mid day when people were looking to find somewhere to study.
so she was surprised when she turned the open side around, to find a boy waiting outside to come in. a boy who looked a lot like will smith.
lola wasn’t an idiot to hockey, she kept up with it a fairly good amount, so she would have to be living under a rock to not know the guy who dominated the ice at her brothers rivalry school.
that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to act like she didn’t know him.
he reached for the handle and took a look at her before turning as red as a tomato and blushing,
“hey, are you guys open?” he asked nervously, mentally slapping himself because he just saw her turn the sign around, to ‘open’
“uhm yeah I’ll be with you in a sec” she told him.
will couldn’t help but think her voice was cute. she had a rasp to it that made him want to give her everything she’s ever wanted.
lola finished up, putting the coffee too brew and turned to the counter.
“okay! order when your ready”
“uhm. i actually never been here before… any recs?” he asked after a moment nervously scratching his neck.
“well I get a dirty chai, but considering my brothers hate it, you might hate it too… I guess you might like a frap?” she told him, a little too monotone.
“yeah okay” he told her again nervously. he found her to be breathtakingly beautiful.
he paid and stood back as she got to making the drink.
“you from here?” will asked hoping to make small talk.
“uhm kinda. I was born in Vancouver but moved here when my dad got a job”
will panicked. oh god was she still in highschool
lola must of saw the worry on his face because she added,
“that was a couple years ago, im eighteen now” she said smiling at his face. something she didn’t do often anymore.
“oh, i’m eighteen too”
“oh yeah, what brings you to san jose, school?” she said innocently knowing very well he was drafted here and was most likely here to work on development.
“no. I”m came to meet with some people here. I go to boston college” he answered. lola starting to not feel so bad because she saw he didn’t want to right away say he was a hockey player.
“far from home huh”
“yeah, i’m literally across the country from everything and everybody i’ve ever known” he told her wanting to slap himself. did she need to know that!?!
“i’m sorry. it’ll get easier” she said remembering her brother had been homesick too but utimatly started feeling better after some time-- as she handing him his drinks and gave him a sympathetic face.
“yeah i hope so, i should be moving here soon, if everything goes right” he said as he took a sip.
“hey this is good!” he said taking another sip as lola smiled. something that will thought looked amazing on her.
lola smiled at him remembering the fact her brothers liked that drink. boys were so typical
“i’m glad… and hey— if you ever need a friend in town my names lola” she told him as she held her hand out to him to shake.
will starred at it for a moment before he quickly met her hand.
“will” he told the girl with a smile.
they were cut out of there moment when two customers walked in.
“I should get back to work. i’ll see you around will” she told him as he smiled a nodded and walked right out.
say something! ask for my number! do anything!
lola felt really dumb after she basically just presented herself in a silver platter to the boy and he didn’t finish his part in asking for her number. he had definitely rejected her in the nicest way someone possibly could.
meanwhile will got into the Uber with a gitty feeling. she seemed really cool and having someone to hang out with other than his teammates was going to be so nice.
he was midway into the meeting with some general managers when he realized he didn’t even ask for her number.
“oh my god” he mumbled as he came to the realization
"i'm sorry?" one of the GM's said confused.
“uhh— I said I was excited to join the franchise!” he covered up, feeling like an idiot.
hopefully she was still there after the meeting.
the meeting had gone a little to long for his liking and as he raced down to the coffee shop he hoped she was working a long shift.
he opened the door to see a blonde girl who looked old but yet looked young, and a taller boy with curly hair working behind the counter.
“hi. is lola working today?” he said breathlessly
the blonde eyed him for a moment before smirking,
“I don't recall a lola ever working here...my name samantha though” she said with a face that will knew was a face of someone who was lying.
“yes there is, she helped me earlier-"
“if your here to file a complaint against her, I can totally help you then,” she said
“no she was great— wait, you said you didn’t know an lola-“
“your looking for lola?” the other barista cut in
“yeah she was here earlier, i was hoping she was still here”
“she got off like two hours ago but i can give you her number!” the curly haired boy told will. he was one of lola's friends and he wasn’t going to ruin this opportunity for her.
“you totally can’t do that!” the blonde girl said in a nasally voice.
“shutup samantha. go take candy from a baby or something” he sassily told her.
she rolled her eyes before walking away to wipe a table down.
“sorry about her, here’s her number— good luck!”
“thankyou so much” he told him as he thought about what exactly to text the pretty girl.
both lola and will not knowing the epic love story they were about embark on.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
hi guys! i hope this is kinda good, dont feel shy to send in ask and au thoughts… i like never get any but im so open to it!!
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gummygowon · 1 year
Text
forest green | choi san
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word count: 1k
request: forest green + angst (pls with happy ending i cant take sadness 😥💔)/opposites attract + san <3 !! thank u !
warnings: a few losers being mean to sannie
a/n: hi love thank you so much for requesting i'm so sorry this im posting this so late but i really had sm fun with this one i hope you enjoy!
"no shot y/n." your best friend soojin whispers to you as you guys walk out onto the court before the game starts.
"what?" you whisper back, trying to keep the cheerful smile on your face as you wave your forest green pom poms in the air at the crowd.
"you like choi san don't you?"
"what?" you pause, whipping your head to look at soojin.
"be so for real y/n, i can see you looking for his nerdy ass in the crowd right now."
"i am not!" you argue, turning your back to the crowd as the basketball team makes their way onto the court.
"y/n, you have the entire school at your finger tips and you choose choi san? nerdy ass choi san who spends his time in the library every friday night."
"and? i don't mind." you sheepishly answer staring down at your poms as san's cute dimple smile infiltrated your mind.
"my god, y/n, you have the kim mingyu wrapped around your finger and you want san?!?"
"at least san has a brain and isn't a jerk."
"so? he's hot that basically covers everything." soojin defends as you guys walk to the sidelines.
"for you it does." you huff, smoothing out your skirt as you get in your spot that was on the corner of the court. it gave you the perfect view of san who was wearing a forest green sweater to represent your school's colors. he was sitting at the very top of the bleachers looking lost as soon as the game started. a small smile appeared on your face as watch san's eyebrows furrow in confusion trying to understand what was happening in front of him. eventually, his eyes trailed down to the cheerleader section where you were. you caught his gaze and gave him a small wave which he returned with a shy smile.
the crowd erupts in cheers as hongjoong scores the first basket of the game meaning your little moment with san was rudely ended. the game however goes on well as your team absolutely destroys your opponent. cheers erupted the gym as the students shouted in celebration. as one of the cheer leaders you follow your team to the court to make a tunnel for the team as they head back to the locker room.
once they leave, your coach gives out her post game speech and then lets you guys go. to your surprise, you see san waiting outside the gym trying to make himself look busy.
"hey," you softly say bumping his shoulder with yours causing him to jump. "do you need help finding the exit or?"
"no," san scoffs bumping his shoulder into you as revenge, "just thought i should say you did great out there."
a shy smile makes its way to your face as your heart beats against your chest. "thank yo-"
"y/n!" mingyu emerges from god knows where, throwing his arm over you forcing you and san to separate. "you comin' to my house later? my parents are gone and i'm throwing a huge party for tonight's win!"
"oh, i-" you peer over mingyu's large frame to see san looking dejectedly at the floor.
"you're going!" yuqi shouts from behind, another one of your teammates.
you didn't even get a chance to say goodbye as mingyu and his teammates along with yours push you to the parking lot.
"why are you even hanging out with san? isn't he a total loser?" someone asks from behind you.
"yeah, plus he's a total sqaure!"
"little man probably hasn't felt the touch of a woman since his mother changed his diaper!"
"excuse me?" you say utterly in shock that your so called friends are just outwardly saying shit about someone.
before anyone even had a chance to say anything san pushes his way through the crowd angrily.
"san, wait!" you say trying to catch up to him only to have mingyu tug at your wrist.
"leave him be y/n. kid's a loser anyways."
"he is not!" you argue, ripping your arm away from him. "just fuck off and go have your stupid party!"
you made a beeline to your car and drove to the one place you knew san would be at a time like this. the park where the playground was a mix of ugly beige and forest green and where the park overlooked your little hometown. san liked it because it made him like he was on top of the world even if he was treated like shit.
thankfully, san's beat up toyota corolla was parked in front of the playground.
"thought i might find you here." you say in a quiet tone, wrapping your hands around self because of course you forgot your lettermen at home.
san didn't even turn to look at you as he swung slowly on the creaky swing set. "aren't you supposed to be at some party?"
"yeah, but i didn't feel like going." you answer sitting next to san on the other swing.
"so you decided to hang out with a loser on a good friday night?" he sarcastically asks.
"san-"
"why do you even wanna be around me? midterms are over so you don't have to be around me for awhile." san spits, still not even daring to look up at you. "you know, i thought that maybe there would be a chance you actually like me."
your heart cracked at every word that was coming out his mouth. "san, i do. a lot. trust me."
"no you don't." his knuckles turning white because of how hard he was gripping the chains on the swing. "not in the way i do."
still san was refusing to look up at you until you take a hand and place it softly on his cheek. san jumps at your sudden touch before slowly raising his eyes to meet yours.
"i like you sannie." you confess, heart racing a hundred miles per hour. "i don't care what people or even you say about yourself. i like the way your dimples pop out when you smile. i like the way you never get frustrated with him when you're teaching me. i like the way you remember the little things about everyone. i like you, choi san."
"i-are you sure?" he asks to stunned to even respond to your confession.
you nod your head, giggling at the way san was staring at you in shock.
"can i kiss you?"
"of course, sannie." you answer before smiling to the warm kiss.
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yunjinkisses · 5 months
Note
heyyy!! can i request fluff/angst yunjin x reader?
yunjin is that one touchy ""straight"" girl and reader develops a crush on her, but is too shy to confess
but they both get drunk at a party and end up making out plsplspls 😭 sorry if this too vague
HUH YUNJIN X F READER
whats ahead:drinking,fluff,making out,slight angst,long fanfic,”straight”yunjin,highschool au,reader sometimes calls yunjin jen
enjoy!! + happy new year
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i was at my locker putting my things away , and yunjin appeared
“oh hey jen!,i was just putting my things away,we have class together next,i was just about to go get you!”
she put her arms around my waist and hugged me and her head in the crook of my neck
“well i beat you to it loser,come on let’s get to class now!”
she dragged me by the hand , and we got to our class , we always sat next to each other in whatever class we had together
we were talking half the class , the teacher had told us to stop a bunch of times but we just kept talking , he had given up at some point
“oh my god y/n!,there’s a test coming up and i need some help,can you come over to my place and help me ?”
“of course why wouldn’t i? even if it wasn’t a question id still go”
we both smiled at eachother as the bell rang for lunch
“come on y/n - ah!”
she ran and brought me to the lunchroom
we sat down with some of our friends
“hi yunjin!! and hello to you too y/n,god you two are inseparable “
we all laughed a bit
“hey do you all wanna hangout after school? minji and i -“
“ugh i would love to but i cant , the test it soon and i haven’t studied , y/n-ah is gonna help me though!”
“of course,you always forget to study,by the way it’s tomorrow “
the bell rang indicating the end of lunch,we all separated,jen giving me a huge hug behind my back surprising me
end of day
me and yunjin walked to my home with our hands intertwined
we went to my room and sat on my bed , jen got her books out to get ready for the math test
“so what don’t you understand about the material?”
“literally everything”
i giggled softly and took a pencil and started to explain to her the material
i snuck looks at jen while explaining to her what we were learning,i don’t know why , but she looked so pretty,something about her just made me want to stare at her forever,her lips looked so soft too
“hey y/n you okay?”
i seemed to had drifted off into my own thoughts
“y-yeah sorry,got distracted “
she smiled softly
“why don’t we take a break if needed?”
she took my hand and put down the pencil she started to put away her books and papers
“we can just lay down and watch some tv for now,how about that hm?”
“yeah that sounds good”
we lie down cuddling up together, her hand around my waist,i put the tv on , my mind started to wander , jen looked so pretty with and without her glasses,she always looked so gorgeous,why am i thinking about her like this now,her arm around my waist makes me feel butterflies in my stomach,i’ve never felt this before ,we’re always like this
why am i just feeling this?
i look over to yunjin and see her sleeping face , she looked so gorgeous,so peaceful,i smiled and took her glasses off and placed them on the side table , and turned the lights off
“night jen,sleep well”
i cuddled up closer to yunjin smiling brushing a piece of her hair out of her face , god she was so pretty
i soon drifted off to sleep
next day
yunjin had borrowed some of my clothes and we had headed off to school
i was talking to minji about how i thought i had a crush on yunjin
“i knew it! i knew you liked her!”
“but i can’t like her,she’s straight,and she won’t like me back.”
“y/n..have you seen how she acts around you? she’s only that touchy around you..”
“yeah but she’s just friendly she’s said she’s straight before..”
“girl she’s clearly into you..”
“she’s straight..i’m just.. this is too hard..”
“i understand..im sorry y/n , hey chaewon is having a party tonight if you wanna take your mind off it”
“i’m not much of a party person..”
“come on it’ll be fun..”
“i guess..”
yunjin than came up and hugged me from behind making me smile
“how’s my favorite person everrrr?”
“heyy jen!,im doing good!”
“your clothes are sooo comfy,we should have sleepovers more often!”
“jen you can’t just take my clothes!”
“i can and i just did!”
i sighed smiling as she poked my cheek playfully making me giggle
minji coughed interrupting us
“anyways .. i’ll see you two later !”
“bye bye!!”
we both said at the same time
end of the day
i was getting ready for the party with minji at my house
“should i wear this?”
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“or this?”
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“hmmm first one,suites you better!”
“thanks minji”
“come on tell me what’s on your mind i can tell something is up”
“it’s just..yunjin yknow?”
“gotta take your mind off things,now let’s go have some fun”
“thanks minji..let’s go”
at the party
me and minji ring the doorbell as i brush down my outfit making sure i look okay
chaewon opens up the door greeting us both excitedly
“oh my gosh! y/n you showed up!”
“yeah i usually skip these things but couldn’t skip my friends party!”
i smiled softly at her as we entered her huge house
i went over to the drinks to get my mind off things
some time had past and i had felt a bit drunk
than i felt a pair of hands wrap around my waist , and a head go into the crook of my neck
“how’s my darling!~”
she sounded a bit out of it,but i could care less right now,the nickname had given me butterflies in my stomach
“hey jen,missed you”
“god you look stunning in that outfit~”
“same to you”
we both smiled ,chaewon than came up to us
“hey lovebirds! we’re gonna play truth or dare over in the circle here! come join!”
me and yunjin sat down in the circle next to eachother
chaewon started to explain the rules
“ok so same rules except if you don’t wanna do a dare or answer a truth you have to take a shot !”
everyone seemed to agree to the rules
“i’ll go first , truth or dare minji?”
“hm dare!”
“are you a virgin?”
minji looked away and blushed at the question
“uhm no..”
everyone let out some ooohs
“who was it?”
“that wasn’t the question , so y/n,truth or dare !”
“hmm..dare?”
minji thought about it for a bit
“i dare you to tell someone here who you like!”
“okay i guess”
i went over to minji and told her
“oh come on no fair i already knew!”
a few rounds passed and some people had taken shots , i had taken quite a few , people kept asking me the same questions but i kept drinking
“y/n,truth or dare?”
yunjin spoke up and i thought about it
“uhm i guess dare”
“i dare you to whisper to me who you like”
i went to take a shot and yunjin seemed upset by this
“im sorry jen..i cant”
“but minji gets to know? you’re closer with me than her!”
“jen i just can’t im sorry,if i could i would..”
yunjin started to tear up and walked out the room and went out to the balcony
everyone had seemed to got the hint expect for her
“i think you should tell her ..”
“i can’t you know why..”
“y/n it’s so obvious she likes you back..”
she came back after a bit seemingly to feel better and we continued the game
i was asked the same question again by chaewon
“i dare you to kiss your crush”
they kept trying to get me to kiss yunjin or tell her i liked her,but instead i took a shot,i was really out of it at that point
“o-okay,uhm jen,truth or dare?”
“dare! i wanna do dare!”
“i d-dare you to makeout with your crush whenever you see them!”
i said the last part due to there being no men around at the moment,the men were on the dance floor with other girls and other guys
but instead jen just crawled over to me when i wa talking to minji , and turned my face to hers and kissed me ,my eyes widened , i didn’t hesitate to kiss her back
we made out for a good 3 minutes,when she pulled away the only thing keeping us together was a string of saliva
“i thought you-“
“i only said that because i was afraid of what other people would think..im sorry if you don’t like me back”
i pulled her in for another kiss wrapping my hands around her neck,when we pulled away i just smiled
“hope that answers your question”
everyone cheered and smiled
“it’s about fucking time”
minji spoke and everyone laughed
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thebestpumkin · 1 month
Text
- title - happy birthday, chuuya!
- pairing - chuuya nakahara x reader
- character(s) mentioned - ogai mori
- word count - 566
- summary - celebrating your totally whipped boyfriend's birthday with him.
- tw - i'm pushing my soft chuuya agenda sorry, established relationship, alcohol mention, chuuya gets drunk and passes out, lmk if there are any to add!
- a/n at the bottom!
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Chuuya doesn't think he's ever felt quite so normal.
Human, even.
It's a wonder that all it took for him to feel this way is walking hand-in-hand with you, on your way home.
He thinks he likes that word. Home. It rolls off your tongue so easily as you pay the bill - despite his protests - "Let's go home, yeah?" And he's gotten used to it. He thinks he already found his home, in you - as corny as it sounds.
Nevertheless, he's taking you back to his place to celebrate, pressed to your side and babbling on meaninglessly about something or other concerning some new show he saw. And yet you're looking at him with so much love and adoration in your eyes, as if he hung every star up in the sky, as if what he's saying is something worth listening to.
He lets you into his lavish penthouse and watches as you sit down. You sit so comfortably on his couch, as if it was your own, as if this whole place was yours, too. In a way, it is, he thinks. You own his heart, why not everything else he has to his name? He brings out a bottle of wine and two glasses while you turn on the TV.
He's not sure when or how, but he ended up asleep in your arms while you were entirely focused on whatever show you'd put on his flatscreen. He'd likely gotten drunk, he realizes, looking out at the dark sky through his floor-to-ceiling windows. You didn't mind, having had to take care of him when he was off his ass more times than you could count on your fingers. He loved you for that.
He tries to stay up after that, boiling some gas station ramen he had stashed away. He spends the rest of the night slurping noodles with you while you try to catch him up on everything he missed while taking a nap - who knew a show could spring so much information on its audience within a couple episodes?
He keeps stealing glances at you and your attractive face. It's a wonder you've stayed with him, he thinks. A wonder that you love him just as much as he loves you. His breath hitches. You're beautiful. He knows that, already. But, for some reason, seeing your face lit up with the light of the screen and your eyes completely focused on the show he's given up on trying to understand...he leans forward and captures your lips in his. He doesn't know what else to do when you look like that. He loves you, so, so much.
And he spends his birthday that way - and he wouldn't have it any other way. He doesn't care what he does for his next birthday, as long as you're by his side. And, really, that applies to every single day. He couldn't care less if he had mountains of paperwork that Mori assigns to him, as long as you're there to encourage him. He wouldn't mind it if he had to go into a fight, as long as he could come home to you so you could kiss his hurting away. Everything would be okay as long as you were there at his side. He'll spend all his birthdays with you, hoping you'll love him even when he's gray and old, just because...it's you.
pumkin speaks: yeah, okay, i totally didn't write something for inosuke's birthday a few days ago, sue me. BUT i think i deserve a pat on the back for this one. this is that chuuya piece that i said i had the pretty sounding beginning for but no idea where to go from there, iykyk. i finished tokyo revengers btw! oh, and i'm watching wind breaker, too - i'm all caught up w it. and i'm on ep 7 of banana fish due to peer pressure from friends...ps wtf is that show its so...wow. anyway! thats all ive got, i think. sorry for continuing to push the soft chuuya agenda. i just cant imagine him being any other way if he were in love 😕😕 okay that's all. bye, happy scrolling!
likes, reblogs, requests, and feedback are vv appreciated! divider credits go to r0se-designs. thanks for reading, have a nice day!
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cookie-crumblr · 2 months
Text
The Smell of Smoke
Innocent F! Reader x M!Yandere Bully OC
Part 6~
His Info: 🖕✨
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
MINORS DNI
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CW: Fem! Reader, reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, loud “noises”, bullying against reader, explicit language, asphyxiation, fight, blood, extreme violence against reader, hospital setting, coma-d reader,, medication use, non con kissing and touching,
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Yesterday feels like a dream, but your throbbing head at least proves the alcohol part…
But what about him being … Nice-ish… to you.
Nice for him definitely.
Nice for you, eh, not so much. no more like not at all.
It’s still weird though.
You don’t understand him in the slightest.
Gods, your leg and head are in agony, like you’re in a crocodile’s mouth and she’s giving you the famously terrible roll of death.
You clamber over to your meds, but they aren’t in your bag. At first you’re confused but when you turn around, your bleary eyes land on an open bottle of beer and your med bottle… Did he try to do something “nice” for you, again?
“What the fuck…” Your lip’s upturned as you groan.
Uhg just get them in you already.
An Hour Later~
You make it to class without a hitch! you feel like for the first time in a week you can breathe, at least a little, though labored, it still feels amazing!
Ezra isn’t in class today, another sigh of relief escapes you.
You’re taking notes diligently today, it’s actually so relaxing, you had no idea something so boring and mundane could be so therapeutic.
It’s a good day without him.
Outside the sun feels so wonderful on your face you forget about your broken and branded leg. It feels like the sun’s giving you a nice warm embrace, keeping you safe from all the horrors you’ve experienced now.
You find a stall vending your favorite foods and go to buy some, and a stranger pays for your food!
It’s such a good day without him.
The Next Day~
*SLAM, BANG!*
“SURPRISE! ‘M Y’R NEW ROOMIE~”
You jump as your door flies off its hinges, and Ezra announces his presence loudly and ridiculously.
Come on, of course you cant have more than a gods damn day to yourself.
He starts throwing your roommates shit all over the room, “the fuck are you doing!?” You yell at him without thinking.
“What’d you say, bitch!?” He immediately faces you, and throws down whatever was in his hands in front of you, causing you to yelp and flinch.
“I-I didn’t—”
“Y-You what? didn’t mean it? It’s too fuckin’ late for you, slut.” He’s already on you, hand wrapped around your throat.
You cough without any air, it’s painful to even try.
Your crutches are next to you on your bed…
You reach and stretch over—
You manage to grab one, it’s a little awkward to wield and swing, but you fucking hit him!
He’s surprised and let’s go of you, a wild smile pulls at his lips.
Oh gods!!
You Bolt.
By the time you’re out of the door, your bad legs make you stumble, then in a second he’s tackling you to the ground.
He punches the back of you then grabs you by the back of your head and smashes your face into the ground.
There’s a ringing in your ears, and blood starts pouring from your nose like a geyser.
“Ezra! Stop!!” Ace’s muffled, worry filled voice rings out from down the hall.
“Stay outta it Ace!” Ezra’s voice is equally as hard to hear, even though he’s yards closer.
“No! Quit it!!! Y/N didn’t do anything to you!”
He throws you forward. You have absolutely no fight. You lie shaking and in complete shock, frozen as of time is ice around you.
“Y/N, You oka— no of course not,,” he rushes over to you.
“Ezra… why…” Ace didn’t ask it, he just sounds so disappointed in his brother.
“Yeah, yeah” Ezra doesn’t look at Ace as he walks past him.
“Easy up there, Y/N,” Ace helps you up and slips your arm around his neck. He’s shorter than Ezra so it’s a little easier to walk with him helping you.
“Fuck, I’m sorry… I’m so… Sorry,” he whispers seemingly to himself.
Your ears are still ringing and your head is in more agony than you’ve ever felt up there, you aren’t sure you can stay upright even with Ace’s help.
“woah there! here,” He lifts you into his solid arms and makes sure your tight against his chest.
You try to stay awake but find that a feeling deeper than even the promise of the deepest sleep is pulling you under fast.
“Hey, w-wait, i think you’re s’posed to stay awake with head injuries!” He panics, and speeds up to his car, but stops and calls for an ambulance.
Shit, you’re gonna have a massive bill. Your head is… in unthinkable agony. Is it gonna explode!?
You black out, and come to a few times, one second your in Ace’s arms, the next you’re in a fire truck? next your in a gurney, and then a hospital.
“Y/N!?” Its Ace that’s there next to you when you wake up, but you see a familiar strawberry blonde standing almost outside of your line of sight. He’s wearing a deep scowl. “Y/N! Y/N! You’re awake!”
“You… Were in a coma… For a week.” Ezra doesn’t look at you as he gets the words out.
“A WEEK!? This time you put me in a coma for a week, and you can’t even look at me, you’re despicable. Why are you even here!?” You grab your head as it pounds.
His fiery gaze meets yours head on and you aren’t backing down. What’s he gonna do? put you in another coma??
For fucks sake.
His expression changes, something akin to lust maybe? It’s always confusing you and giving you whiplash, nothing is ever how you expect with this guy.
“Ace, can you give us a minute?” he asks.
“No can do.” He crosses his arms and shakes his head, steadfast, and not going to leave your side.
“It’s alright, i think he’s made whatever point he wanted to make for now.” You resist rolling your eyes at Ezra, thinking back to just … Well you guess a week ago now. It feels like it just happened a second ago to you. Uhg, your head.
He takes a minutes long pause before deciding and finally standing. “okay… But… yell if you need help.” He’s torn, but you want to hear what Ezra has to say, if anything, or if he’s just gonna jump you again, at least you’re already in a hospital bed…
Oh fuck! it’s just hit you… A Weeks worth of medical bills!? FUCK.
“Y/N—” He starts, but…
“Nope, wait, let me go first. What the hell do you want from me!? Just take it and get it over with already! just look at me! are you done yet? happy?? satisfied??”
“I’m not happy.” He looks out the window at a tree. “‘sides, to be honest, thought youd ‘ave a thicker skull than that,” he snickers.
“Oh fuck off.” You’ve never been so angry before in your life. You’ve also never felt so powerless. Maybe because you have nothing left to loose you feel more unhinged and ready to fight.
“I’m sorry.” he says flatly.
“Did you just..?” NOTHING can redeem him, and he just thinks— or maybe he’s not even thinking! does he have a brain to think?
He crosses the room.
Leaning over you in your bed, he grabs your face to pull it up right in front of his own.
You meet his challenge and stare deeply back into his dark red-brown eyes.
He looks down at your puffed lips and back up.
Soon he’s grabbing you all over your upper half, chest waist, belly, throat, he messes up your gown and when it’s loose around your shoulder he bites you there.
His teeth sink into your flesh, you’re biting your lip and trying to shove him off but you have no strength.
Your head lolls back wards, and as youre about to start counting the dots in the ceiling, he backs off.
“Fuck this, ‘m goin’ out f’r a smoke,” he tosses your head back down to your body and back onto the hospital bed.
Ace steps in right after him, before the door closes, “You alright?”
“Yeah, thank you, Ace… I think i need more meds tho hah” you try and laugh but your head pounds.
“Here!” He pushes the button for you and tells the nurse what’s wrong. he listens to Ace for a second then comes to you to confirm and once you do he gives you more morphine.
Then, your whole body just melts.
Woo goodness does that feel nice. You drift back into sleep happily, forgetting everything, along with the pain just for a second.
Yet…
Both dreams end the same…
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laura1633 · 16 days
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i am a hoe for how you write omega max especially and the way charles is so gentle and affirming to him. absolutely feeding the praise kink!
i also think about when they have a third person involved in a heat (lowkey cant remember who was an omega oops) to help them out literally every day and AHHHHHHH i would love more thoughts lol
Haha thank you 😃, oh I love Omega Max too and I love the way Charles praises him and looks after him.
I am in the middle of writing a little bit of an omegaverse threesome at the moment. There's a very rough first draft of a section below the cut but essentially Charles has to trust another alpha to look after his omega until he can get back to him. Cue two adoring alphas being sweet and praising Max throughout his heat. Please ignore the roughness and errors in this passage 😂
As the bedroom door flies open and Charles comes hurtling in Max starts whining and reaching out for his alpha. It’s only Oscar’s quick reflexes that mean he manages to get a tight enough grip on the omega’s hips to keep them settled on his knot. 
“I’m here. I’m here. Don’t move” Charles clambers into the nest and immediately brings his lips to Max’s, the alpha completely unconcerned that his omega is currently perched on someone else’s lap. 
“Thank you so much” Charles looks genuinely relived as he smiles at Oscar, “I mean it. Thank you”
“Thats… yeah that…” Oscar can’t really process what he is trying to say because he never thought he would be in a scenario where an alpha is thanking him for knotting their omega. Their hot beautiful omega that smells of summertime and giggles and purrs so loudly when they are happy, “sorry about…” Oscar nods down to where his body is currently connected to Max.
“That’s okay” Charles’ voice is soft and smooth as he soothes his hand over Max’s jaw,“You feel good Max?”
Max nods his head and smiles awkwardly. He seems shy all of sudden but is still purring happily as he wiggles his hips and settles back down on to Oscar’s knot. 
“I bet you’ve been so good for Oscar haven’t you?” Charles coos, he looks genuinely proud. Or wildly in love. Actually, Oscar determines that it is a mixture of the two, “Has he been good?” 
“Oh” Oscar realises Charles has diverted his attention back towards him, “Oh he’s been so good. So pretty” It’s Oscar’s turn to blush a little. He’s managed to put on the strong in-control alpha act for as long as Max needed it to feel settled but now with Charles in the room Oscar guesses he doesn’t need to take charge anymore. It’s a relief, his heart is hammering in his chest and he’s just glad he’s managed to keep Max happy and in one piece. It felt very much like he’d been left in charge of some precious irreplaceable cargo. 
“Did you hear that baby?” Charles’ smile widens, “Oscar said how pretty you are. What do you say to Oscar?”
“Thank you” Max bites his lip and smiles. He looks so different to when he’s climbing out of the car and pumping his fist in the air, there’s a rosy glow to his cheeks as he glances between the two alphas. Oscar's always been fond of Max, much like anyone who spends any real time with the omega but now he thinks he truly understands why Charles is madly in love, Max is special in ways he couldn't even have begun to imagine.
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Text
OFMD Fix-it Part 2
Ayyy here’s part 2! Thank you so much for the incredible response to part 1! I read the tags and comments often y’all are too nice ;v; Enjoy all 69 pages! tw for blood and injury
Part one
kofi
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Wee john: Fuck yeah! Roach: We took over Blackbeard’s ship!! Frenchie: Oh no! You dastardly pirates are too scary for me! I surrender!!
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Stede: All good everyone! Crew: IS IT?? Stede: [gasp] Did you guys take back the ship?? Ed: You’re shitting me Stede: Excellent job, everyone!
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Ed: Hey! Stede: Oh, sorry! I look forward to hearing about it! Ed: Please don’t crack your face again Buttons: Were yee crying? Both: WHAT?! No! Ed: I physically cant cry Stede: Why so you keep asking that? Crew: Captain! Stede: WAIT I’m not discouraging this energy, but please be careful of-
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Ivan: What do you want us to do with Izzy, captain? Frenchie: OH FUCK THE KNIFE! Swede: PULL IT OUT! Roach and jim: NO!! [schluck] Pete: FUCK PUT IT BACK IN!! Roach and jim: NO!! Ed: Why disturb him? Sleeping so peacefully. I’ll deal with him later [schluck]
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Pete: Where’s lucius? Stede: Yes, we’re missing lucius. Ed! Is the boy below deck? Pete: Did something happen? Frenchie: Oh yeah almost forgot! [knocking on the deck] Stede: What’s this, frenchie? Ed: Lucius is dea-
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Lucius: OH THANK GOD! I was going mad in that wa-
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Pete: Where have you been? Stede: Lucius! Good to see you, my boy! wee john: Cap’n... Lucius: I was hiding in a secret wall I’d found. Frenchie thought I was a ghost for about a week. Luckily the ship was a barnacled mess Frenchie: Still not convinced if I’m bein’ honest. Couldnt believe you’d survived, Stede: Survived? Pete: Why would you be a ghost, babe? Lucius: Because Blackbeard threw me overboard
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Ed: A momentary laspe of judgement  Olu: Oh shit
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Stede: [knocks] Ed? [door unlocks]
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Ed: Ship’s yours again. I can be gone- Stede: you’re leaving? Ed: I nearly killed lucius. Aren’t you upset? Stede: Absolutely livid, but you didnt succeed, thankfully! The atmosphere is tense, things are a little unclear, but they’re open to speaking. I’ve forgiven them for planning to kill me! Blows over quite fast, I’m sure- Ed: I’m a terrible person, stede. You don’t even-
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Ed: Crew needed me. Wanted to help me. And I chose Blackbeard. All ‘cuz Izzy opened his FUCKING mouth ‘n backed me into a corner! Lucius would see right through it. I didn’t know what else to d- [flinch] Stede: It’s ok
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Stede: Blackbeard is how you’ve been surviving. I understand that now. The only reason you were put in that position was because of my poor decisions. I promise I’ll be here no matter what to help us all get through this. Ed: Pull up the chair, I want my knife back Stede: Oh good finally...
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Ed: So a big cat, a carriage accident, and a dropped piano? All at once? Fuckin’ hell, mate, you let ‘em have it. Though, I’d go as far to say the cat was too much. Stede: Whaaat? How could you say that about Ned? He did great. Ed: Just BITTER I wasnt there to see it
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Stede: I’m sorry you had to do this again. I know you’re still angry...Ed: Wasn’t about being angry... not at first at least. Just felt.... sad. Really fucking sad, Stede. Didn’t know what to do without you here. None of us did. Felt... Like I just wanted to lay down and die Stede: I...I didnt think my absence would be felt this deeply
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Ed: Oh shut- You’re not serious Stede: No, I’m serious. Mary and the kids were much happier when we were planning my departure fuckery. I genuinely can’t think of a time where someone missed my presence
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Ed: Well fuck everyone else. Was the crew pissed when you said why you left? Stede: Very much so Ed: Then they missed you, cheers [mumble] I sure as fuck missed you Stede: You did? Sorry, Impulse. Ed: Lean up a bit Stede: I hop I can earn your trust back one day
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Ed: Well, knowing about that Chauncey fuck makes me less pissed at you. Least you didn’t ditch me ‘cuz you didn’t want me around anymore. Stede: Oh no, I’ve liked you since the day we met. Ed: You did look hot bleedin’ out on the deck of that spanish ship. Stede: I’m choosing not to unpack that at this moment. Ed: All done up you go! [loud closed-mouthed scream] [ed repressing laughter] You good? Guts still in? Stede: [strained]I think so Ed: Lean on me til it passes
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Thanks, did you sew me up the first time? Ed: Nah, that was fang Stede: That fang, beautiful work Ed: Go lay down. I gotta clean up your blood Stede: Again, sorry
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Ed: If you apologize one more time for being stabbed, I’ll stab you again Stede: But it led to so much character development last ti- I’ll leave you to it then
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Stede: Ah, is this my-? What’s it doing under th-
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Stede: Forget I- Ed: No, that’s- I mean, it is yours... It doesnt even smell like y- JUST PUT IT ON
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S: May I ask you-? E: shoot S: Why did you let me board the ship? E: I was tired of izzy nagging to blast you with the cannons. Kept talkin’ in my ear about you ‘n it just made me angrier and angrier. Got me so amped up to just fucking kill you the moment I saw you again. Thought I'd just be furious, but I felt... giddy?  /hated/ that my chest was pounding, that just made me angrier
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E: Then you show up with your tits out looking handsome as shit. S: hmmm [olu: One last thing, captain Stede: What is it, olu- RIP] E: I thought of it too. Leaving. Thought I’d get ahead before I disappointed you. Wasn’t itching for adventure, I knew I was in too deep with you S: I always thought I was disappointing /you/. I’m not the most exciting person E: Me?
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E: Stede, you’re the boldest bugger i’ve ever met. Ever since i’ve known about you, you’ve made the most batshit ballsy moves. You took those English hostage, you swindled iz to get them back. you told blackbeard to go suck eggs in hell You stood up to the weird twins, to the English navy, to those richies at that party, to izzy, to jack, to ME. You’re the coolest, kindest person I know, Stede. I’m nuts about you. S: … guess I've never seen myself from that perspective E: If anyone else told me that story, i’d have them tied to the anchor for such a bullshit lie, but it’s you, so i believe it. Its as ridiculous as you are.
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E: do you think I’ve ever gotten this upset over some quick drunk fuck parting ways? Only you.
S: Why only me, though?
E: You’re the only person that makes me feel… safe? Like I don’t have to be blackbeard 24/7. Most of my old mates were just dickheads who showed up when they wanted something the buggered off
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Dont’ gotta worry about you stabbin’ me in my sleep cause i pissed you off.  You don’t laugh when I talk about a fine fabric or a pretty looking teacup. I’ve told you things I thought I’d take to my grave because anyone else would throw it back in my face... But not you. I like your fire hazard, secret passage ship, your crew, when you talk about clothes ‘n book ‘n flowers. You don’t act like anyone else but you... And I envy that
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Ed: Because it’s you
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Stede: No one’s ever thought that about me... I’m sorry. Hah, I feel a bit dizzy. Ed: Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Lay down if you need [stede crying] Stede?
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Stede: You’re the first person who doesnt think I’m a burden. My father, Mary, peers- My whole life- That I was selfish for being born [crying] Ed: Again, Stede, Feck ‘em
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Stede: Meeting you was the best day of my life. I was so relieved when you- on the beach- Yuo looked so happy, and I destroyed that Ed: shhh
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ed: It’ll be ok
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Ed: Look at me. You came back
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Ed: And that made Ed happ- IZ: EDWARD, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! [IZZY YELLING]
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Ed:[calm] I’m sorry, Will you excuse me for one moment? Stede: Feel free! Ed: Thank-you [Izzy still yelling] [door slam] rapid steps]
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[clattering above] [Izzy screaming] [crew cheering] foot falls approaching]
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Ed: Now, where were we? Stede: ....Actually I do wanna know Ed: Let’s say, Bit too tied up to bother us again
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[stede huffs a laugh] Ed: You look exhausted, you should rest. Pincushion gets the mattress Stede: oh no, I couldn’t. where are you sleeping? Ed: Perfectly comfortable desk right here. [pained moan] Stede: Right... Ed: Night, Stede
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ed: I’ll steal a couch soon. ‘M too old to sleep on desks now Stede: I have no qualms [ed sighs]
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Ed: Hey, stede Stede: Mm Ed: Can we.... Can we just forget about the beach and start over?
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Stede: I don’t think I can this time, Ed. Ed: Slightly concerned you can forget me almost killing you but not a kiss Stede: I’ve decided to be done with running away from my problems and pretending they never happened. But beyond that, My whole world shifted with that kiss. I can’t ever forget that. The memory alone kept me rowing to get to you again
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Stede: We’ve hurt eachother, but I’m more than willing to put in the work to mend it... Which is something I never did with mary. Ed: I wont stab you in the earhole by the way. Got mine out of he way. Stede: Only fair! We’re even now. Ed: But mine was funny [swat] [giggle]
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Ed: Last thing, then you can sleep off the stab wound Stede: Oh good... Ed: If Blackbeard was gone for good, would you stay? Lotta folks want the novelty y’ know. ‘S been gnashing at the back of my skull. Stede: I met Ed first not Blackbeard
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Stede: ‘M staying forever now. Best friends at first sight. From my point of view at least
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Ed:...Olivia... How ya doin’, Iz? Iz: Are you fucking joking? Just tell me what’s going on
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Ed: Stede won. Crew took the ship back. I’m staying.  Oh and lucius is alive, as you saw. Kid said the ship was so mucked up, he was able to hang on to sneak onto the ship. Thought you handled that way back when? Iz: that fookin- Ed: So i’m giving you a choice.
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Iz: Just cut my foot off at this point anything but this. Ed: why can’t you ever just relax, izzy? It doesnt have to go this way, yet you stomp your feet Every. Single. Time. How many years have we known eachother; do you even like my company? Iz: How could you even say that to me? I’ve given my life to you time and time again. And You’re going to let some tart waltz back in and uproot everything we built.  Ed: Built what? We’re fucking pirates, mate!
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Powertrip’s over. This is it. It was a good ride. Fang: Lucius! You’re missing this shit!! Ed: You may love waiting to end up like... another leather clad, middle aged sad sack dying alone in a puddle of his own piss, but you’re not dragging me there with you. So make a choice Iz: You’d really let me walk? Ed: Truthfully, i’d prefer you play nice and enjoy yourself for once. but I’ll give you three options.
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Ed: Old way is gone. Either one, accept that and keep it pushin’. Two, I would just let you fuck off, but you’ve proven to be a liability out of my sight, so i’ll have fang cut your talk box, so you never speak stede’s name ever again THEN you can fuck off. And three, more of a clause to one,
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Ed: If you go rogue, I’ll make you beg for hell. Threaten anyone on this ship again, You’ll never feel the warmth of the sun ever again
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Ed: I’ll let you down if you behave
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Iz: [despair sigh] just leave me up here a while longer. ‘S quiet for once. Ed: well alright, take some time to process. let fang know when you gotta piss Lucius: Bad morning? Iz: Yeah, keep staring, twat Lucius: That sounded threatening, right fang? Fang: He’s not above pissin’ on you, kid
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Ed: [muffled] breakfast? [smack] Didn’t remember blackbeard snuck into your bed? Stede: No, I remember. Had to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating again. Also, once again, you’ve processed this very quickly
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Ed: Were yee seein’ phantoms? Stede: No more guilt phantoms thank goodness. Was getting sick of those buggers. Ed: Love a good phantom. You seem less tightly wound. Glad you’re phantom free
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Stede: Took awhile to realize, but This is where I belong. Ed: No fucking shit
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Ed: Speaking of, Y’ know, I’ve thought on it, and I’ve decided I’m tired of being angry and sad and lonely. Fucking sick of it. Already stabbed you, no sense in wasting time acting mad when I know what I want S: And what is that? E: Wanna be liked and kissed and happy.
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Stede: Perfectly reasonable things to- Ed: I also want to be co-captains with the gentleman pirate. [choke] I’m lying in your bed with you, stede. Who do you think’ll be kissing me? The swede? Stede: I didn’t want to PRESUME. Is this a new job role for co-captains? Ed: Is now! ‘S why I promoted you. But you’re still on thin fucking ice. Stede: Poor jim. Promoted in less than a day. Ed: Don’t actually tell jim. They’re super pissed at me Stede: oH Ed: Now, onto couch theft, I’m thinkin’-
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Stede: You’ve got some- Ed: I get it? Stede: Not quite, just- Oh- fuck it
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Ed: Dastardly man. Diabolical. Definitely not gentlemenly
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Ed: Fuckin’ missed you!
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End
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