#but when i think abt stuff i was watching at the time

[howboycat]

just found a notebook of my OCs from when i was like 10 and like 90% of them were dudes. tell me you’re uncomfortable with womanhood without telling me

#like… #what a clear reflection of my feelings #the girl characters were all notably less ‘cool’ than the guys #like obv lots of them had powers or wings or smth cuz i was 10 #and i clearly gave all the dudes cooler powers #my obvious thought is this is internalized from media #but when i think abt stuff i was watching at the time #prob wizards of waverly place and hannah montana and the like #it’s not like there weren’t cool female characters in my life #i just was NOT connecting with them #probably wasn’t connecting much with the guys either but still more i guess #oh how revealing to see the thoughts of your younger self #talking

[idolomantises]

there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities

#txt #was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn #and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting? #i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings #im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to #overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do #its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice #the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you #still lack #even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is. #and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included) #i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at #such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them #i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own #personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes #people really do find things that they love within them. #anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art #sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on #and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me #but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back #and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit #that it’s all worth it. ya know?

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[caluupin]

Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

#caluuart #genshin impact #genshin #art #arlecchino #god she's just so. cool. pretty. ethereal. badass. #also I LOVE HER STORY QUEST SO MUCH!! I think it's definitely one of the best story quests in the game tbh. #wait uh arlecchino story quest spoilers below: #for one; the quest really gives even more depth to arlecchino's character. like yeah the whole thing is well. messed up. #it's an orphanage that raises orphans to be child soldiers after all. But it's also like. It's more.... humane? nicer? for the fatui anyway #which does bring me to the next thing. you know how arlecchino's like “if you're gonna leave the HotH you need to fight for it with ur life #I genuinely think that she's gonna just. straight up kill them. although it's not unlikely at all it turns out that (most of the time?) she #-just gives them a one trip to memory loss and set them free. which i do know it's kinda like death in genshin's lore but still. #I just find that pretty interesting. #also the cutscene where clervie says goodbye n stuff. It makes me cry EVERY TIME. ARGHHHH TRAGIC CHILDHOOD DOOMED YURI MY BELOVED :((( #clervie makes me so sad man. the fact that she just. accepts death. she really just let peruere kill her huh. crucabena when I fucking get #the hopelessness getting to her at that point. all attempts of freedom failed until that day..... GOD. and clervie finally getting closure- #-in the story quest as a spirit... I just..... man......... #on a lighter note :) #I got obsessed with a bloodborne OST LMAO. the uhh the lugwig boss theme. esp the sec phase one. it's SO GOOD. I first heard abt it in a- #-vid analyzing the ost musically. At the time i was like. woah. cool. what a cool sounding track. fast foward to like. a day before 4.6 #I'm watching a genshin theory video and I heard the music in the bg. I recognized it but I couldn't remember where I heard it from #UNTIL I REMEMBERED. and looked it up. And I have not known peace since. good music. #anw I've been rambling too much so yeah. gn my dear fellows!!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

periodically watching video essays about doctor who to remind myself of how skewed my perspective is

#nodding along politely like i see the argument youre making #sure thats one way to frame this #'what this means is the first woman doctor was decidedly unspecial' SHES SPECIAL TO MEEEEE #i see the argument youre making but youre also glossing over all the What IS There bits #'this is not like it is in davies' era' no. it is not. i agree. there is other things though that you could look at #i like this video essayist thats why im listening at all and i dont even disagree with most of the arguments #just all the conclusions hgjhgjkh #it's nice to watch video essays on stuff you know about sometimes i think even though its frustrating bc its like #like when youre an expert reading abt your field in the paper #it reminds you that other video essays are Also just one opinion even when convincingly presented #thats the whole point of essays to present convincingly #anyway arguments acknowledged and agreed with. i remain unconvinced. this time

[fauxwife]

what was the first anime you ever watched btw ... mine was v.ampire k.night ...

#❀ ᶜⁱⁿⁿᵃᵐᵒⁿ ʳᵒˡˡ ˢᵘᵖʳᵉᵐᵃᶜʸ. ( ooc ) #[ tbh i guess u can technically say #that my FIRST one i /watched/ was c.owboy b.ebop but #i didnt rly grasp what i was watching back then #and i didnt finish it until much much later #when i was older and sound abt #what was going on #SERIOUSLY MY PARENTS LET ME WATCH #A LOT OF STUFF I HAD NO BUSINESS WATCHING #kfjkfdf times were so diff . #but the first anime i truly loved was v.ampire k.night #and i watched s.hugo c.hara .. which i was about amu's age i think when i did . somewhere along those lines idk #which is such a blast from the past for me wow #yk . some storylines are so so much more messed up #the older u get somehow. #u rewatch things and u are like #'WOW HAHA ... I CANT BELIEVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS'

[musubiki]

does lime ever cry about anything or is angry more of his emotion? cause in all the childhood limochi comics mochi seems to be more the overflowing emotional one and lime is the more repressed on even back then. does that change at all ?

good catch!!! youre correct little mochi was VERY much the cry easy child. even if it was a little inconvenience or when she was angry the tears would flow!! not that she was a whiny brat but any time she got upset she couldnt stop the tears lol

and yes lime channels his negative emotions into anger. baby lime was very "haha REAL men dont cry!!!" type and even as he got older he recognizes "okay yeah everyone cries no big deal hahah" but theres still that underlying mindset. that being said hes a very dry anger type, so it takes a lot to actually get tears to come out, usually the only people hed ever cry for or to is his family + mochi.

the only time we actually SEE him cry is whatever the point is where all his pent up resentment about mochi leaving all of them without any word or warning comes out!! and as SOON as his eyes start watering he just freezes he cant even get anymore words out once he gets to that point

(and actually tried to up and run once the tears started but mochi wouldnt let him. and thats the only time we see lime cry -w- )

#he does NOT like crying #mochi cant help it #she gets a hell of a lot better at emotion control as she gets older though #but if she doesnt watch herself closely or turn it off in time that highly emotional person is still burried deep #theres several times when she started getting VERY emotional and then just. turns it off #you see the switch flip from wet anger to just. nothing #and lime goes (dont do that. dont fucking turn your heart off when youre talking to me) #its a skill a witch is taught growing up. to just turn all that stuff off on the outside so nothing shows #and lime can tell when she starts doing this #anyway. thanks for asking i miss talking abt my kids!!!!! #but lime was never the crying type to begin with #anyone remember that post about dry anger vs wet anger? thats lime and mochi respectively #he obviously cries at very sad things like loss of a loved one #but thats never like. screaming crying wailing. its very quiet sadness for him #i think baby mochi would cry if she saw a goat that was too cute

[badtrigunheadcanons]

Vash is really bad at flirting (we all know this, it’s canon)

Wolfwood on the other hand is actually really good at flirting, he just never does it because he doesn’t find the need too/says he’s too busy.

Milly is also really good at flirting. The thing is she doesn’t realize she’s flirting. She just says what’s on her mind and complements the shit outta people. This is also why her insults are so devastating.

Meryl doesn’t flirt because that would mean she has to admit she had feelings for someone I’m the first place and she’d rather physically fight them. If she’s flirted with however she turns into a blushing mess.

#trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #trigun headcanons #I am going off the 1998 anime #I wanna read Trimax but I am poor #and I jsut haven’t put the time and effort into watching the new 2023 anime adaptation #I’ve seen stuff abt it tho #might make headcanons based on the very few things I’ve seen #anyways #they’re all idiots #and bad at feelings and flirting (except milly) #they also all turn into blushing flustered messes when flirted with (again all except milly who just thinks the person is being nice)

[dan-crimes]

LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all

#so to clarify I do not consider myself a Sonic fan since I have never played a Sonic game and I've never read any of the comics #and idk the lore cuz I've never really bothered to watch other people play it and I have watched some of the shows #y'know my grandma had 4Kids so sometimes I would catch Sonic X on TV #but literally most of my knowledge of the Sonic franchise is just having people talk to me about it #like when I was a kid my grandma babysat these kids who were older than me I forget how old I was like under 10 I think #and one of the kid's big interest was Sonic so I would just sit and listen to him talk about Sonic the entire time I was there #he would play the games too I think but my brain didn't process any of that so I have no actual memory of the screen #I would mostly just pay attention to him talking cuz he would talk about it while playing it was great #so that is the base of my knowledge and then after my grandma stopped babysitting them it was radio silence #until y'know people would occasionally bring stuff up in videos I'd watch and I'd look @ videos about people talking abt Sonic #occasionally and see like memes or YTPs of Sonic or y'know abridged stuff #but I literally never actually watched a Sonic game until Frontiers came out and then The Murder Of Sonic the Hedgehog #and Sonic Prime is the first Sonic show I properly sat down and watched which show is great btw I enjoy it a lot #but yeah and it was vaguely purposeful like I was keeping myself away cuz I know how I am about stuff and I WILL try to learn EVERYTHING #if I get too interested in Sonic as a franchise #oh I did play Unleashed sometime after it first came out and couldn't get past like the first fuckin level but tbf I was like 7 years old #possibly 8 years old cuz I'm not 100% sure how much later I got the game but like I was really bad @ any game that wasn't just like #spamming buttons since I grew up on fighting games lmao #but yeah I dropped the game almost immediated I do not count that for anything #but yeah long story short: all my knowledge is second hand like I still think I know a good amount for what it's worth but #I wouldn't trust my own knowledge

[ssruis]

Emu 🤝 Rui “I’m so selfish for pursuing the thing I want and feeling basic normal human emotions (that I don’t think I should be allowed to feel)” l… emu saying that for the longest time she felt like her dream to keep PXL (and the wonder stage) from drastically changing was selfish and feeling like she was the only one who wanted that after her grandpa died & becoming shackled to that dream & being unable to leave PXL because it’s what she’s been fighting for for so long and it’s what she has left of her grandpa and it’s so hard to let go and trust that she succeeded and isn’t abandoning or failing her grandpa if she’s not still putting everything she has into the park vs rui viewing his desire to keep his friends together and hold onto wxs as something selfish/something that is interfering with what his friends are working towards (even though they all want to stay together as well) and wishing that he didn’t have to feel any emotions because he’s spent so long without connections like these that fighting for them & being anxious about losing them is entirely alien and new to him and to wish for anything but letting wxs go is something he views as selfish. Dreams and desires as a burden and source of constant guilt instead of them being the light at the end of the tunnel. “I’m a bad person for pursuing what I want/what will make me happy but I’m still going to pursue it I’m just going to berate myself for it as I do so” & the fear of letting go of the happiness you’ve found after looking for it for so long because surely if you do you’ll be right back at square one. Emu struggling to accept that nene & tsukasa have dreams that will take them beyond the wonder stage and rui struggling to accept that all of their goals (including his own) are incompatible in the long run and to reach them they’ll have to split up.

#mine #emu #rui #we talk about nene & tsukasa dream/goal parallels it’s time to talk about the mental illness that is rui/emu parallels #there’s stuff to say abt nene & tsukasa I just have less to say beyond ‘always be on the grind never give up 💯💯’ while feeling super #inadequate compared to everyone around you even as you put your everything into improving #I’m sure when I finish up event watching & then inevitably go back and reread stuff I’ll have more to say abt both pairs #at least emu got a resolution w ohe rui is just playing the long game (denial/workarounds/etc) #‘& then they help each other deal with it’ bzzt WRONG I think rui can and should bring emu back into the mental illness zone #colopale voice the tsukasa and nene parallels can be main story and they can talk about it together #but the most blatant emu & rui parallels will be in card stories and they aren’t gonna say shit abt it

[ilonacho]

i miss having time for fandom😔

#btw i forgot to mention i went to see saw x recently #i went to a dead mall after work and i was COMPLETELY by myself in the theater it was the best ever #movie was also the best!! no spoilers but def up there w/ saw n saw vi #but anyway. kinda on that note watching saw has p much been the only halloweeny thing ive had time for this month. sigh #i hate how much of my time work takes like when i come home i have to take care of shit n shower n eat and then its already 8pm #so i only have a couple hours before i gotta go to bed to do it all over again #even if i have a couple hours its not enough to draw :( i miss drawing #ive been working on some oc stuff at work and by that i mean thinking of lore and drawing quick doodles on receipt paper #but thats abt it lol #weve been catching up w/ the great north (god its so good. i forgot how damn good it is) #n bobs burgers n the simpsons. and theres still more were behind on #but i miss it!!! i miss drawing fanart and my faves n my sonas lmao!! #especially my simpsona😔 2020 was something id never had that much lore for a sona #AND I MISS IT!!!!!! #ughh dont mind me just been on my mind a lot #stupid capitalist hellscape

[appalachy]

#like in general #but also last weekend was literally like a skins episode what the fuck im still processing it #we went to see a football match #then spent over an hour getting back to our dorms on foot bc the trams were packed #we were JUST abt to reach the dorm building byt there were these 3 guys standing and they were like #'hiii girls look we reallyREALLY urgently need to get to the club but we re too drunk to call for a taxi wchi means you gotta walk us there #so we were like no fucking way obv we didnt know them AND THEN WENT WITH THEM ANYWAY #we stopped by this one place where young ppl usually meet up to drink bc our friend was partying there #drank her beer lool the boys convinced their friend to go with us qnd this girl turned out to be our mutual friend which is jdjeisbwjkw #so anyway on our way to teh club theres fierworks and ppl shouting celebrating the match we watched #we get to the club we get drinks we start dancing #THE GUY WHO I WENT OUT WITH ONCE AND WHOS OBSESS3D WITH ME BUT NOW PRETENDS I DONT EXIST IS IN THE VERY SAME CLUB AT THE SAME TIME #man #thinks get heated between me and one of these guys we just met #long story short we made out (s&m by rihanna in the background) #at like 3am we left the club and got back and i was glad to finally go to sleep BUt my friend just had to mention that she had whiskey #so we stayed up till 6am in front of our dorm building drinking and being stupid in general #ive got photos of me braiding one of the guys hair and laying on teh ground lol #so anyways #oh also one of the guys lost the fucking thingy ? they give you when youre leaving your stuff in the cloakroom or whatever #so while we were waiting for the cloakroom guy to return with his jacket he was like 'listen i lost the fucking thing #'the moment he returns with my jacket you grab it and we fucking run out of here you hear me?' #and we fucking did 💀 #most importantly i got told im a good kisser that night 💯💯💯 but still all that kissing and touching did nothing for me like i said #felt bad for the guy bc he was ..... hmmmmm eager and he was fukcing trying ok so i was out there fake moaning so he doesnt feel bad lol💀

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#if u r curious abt following the saga that is my life: #i did finally accept an official offer from a school this afternoon. which is a huge relief and really exciting #and for once i think i did something that will b good for me in mind and body lol bc i think i could b happy with any of the places i #applied to but this program is most geared to my interests and its in a place where i think i can have fun due to the accessibility #of nature and the mountains haha. like at rutgers i think i could have got a good education and had a lot of opportunities but i think it #would have crushed my soul a lil bc it would b more high pressure and in the city. ya kno? so i hopefully i dont regret the choice lol #i still have to wait on the offical acceptance stuff but now at least i can allow myself to get excited abt the potential project and start #researching. which i mean ill have 5yrs of a phd for that but idk im excited and my life feels so empty and meaningless rn ive gotta take #the excitement where i can haha #anyway housing is gonna b a bitch bc there arent a lot of places available in grad student price ranges in the city to the point where they #said so in the official offer rip. and i have to decide when im leaving the southwest bc i could stay til August or leave in july and take #like a whole almost 2 months to just not b doing anything for a sec. and my dad was like !!! u could go to the crazy state parks #or drive out to the pacific northwest! and that would b amazing but also that sounds so scary to do on my own lol #like i dont wanna b missing and murdered as a youngish non guy traveling alone #but i could do it if i tried im sure. anyway i just wanted to let yall kno #bc im so doom and gloom on here all the time but a transition period is looming so im only stuck here for a few more months #and hopefully itll b a page turn into a happier place haha #watch out yellowstone cyanobacteria. im coming for u >:-] #knock on wood. ya kno. just in case #hhhh at least i can breathe a lil better now i have a direction #unrelated

[anaalnathrakhs]

it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD. #EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY #OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH #i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion'' #they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them #so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child #they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table #just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase #i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either? #i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them. #i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to. #but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset #quiet at home #and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places #and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway? #keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine? #try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened? #i dont know how to live like a normal person #literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X. #go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book. #because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped. #everything hurts holy shit #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

[dullahandyke]

and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain

#it is. the amatonormativity #^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff #like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it #probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest #and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama. #thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me #not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall) #(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me) #but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times #likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy #like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing #but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts #theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense) #there's the business with fawles #like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3 #where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards) #you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story #but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3 #like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing #but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game #even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation #whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit #where was i going with this. shrug. #the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs #whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand #'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm?? #like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus #i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc #sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3 #but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance

[hauntedtotem]

I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh

#I listened to all the calls when they 'leaked' but I didn't know they were leaks I thought lio posted that stuff proudly #I didn't know that they weren't meant to be seen by the public until just now lol #Anyways I'm pleasantly surprised people are talking about how fucked up they were #Bc tbh when I was like 'oh this makes peaches (and everyone else) look like a bitch kinda' the first time I heard the calls- #I thought I was maybe being too judgey or sensitive or something? #But now everyone else is like 'yeah they are all being bitches actually' im like. Oh! So I understood right and wasn't just overreacting #Mostly bc lio was ranting about being a conservative Christian and weird 'nuclear family values' on one call and my immediate thought was #'oh gross Im too biased against this man to be able to look at this- #-discussion objectively. I'm gonna think he sucks regardless of the situation and therefore idk lf im a fair judge ?' #So it's cool to get confirmation from other ppl saying 'oh no ur right he sucks and here's why' #this is the 2nd time this week I got 'no youre not just overreacting. Other ppl are upset too' validation abt a topic. cool #//shade #I'm sure there's plenty of found family groups online that are great but so many of the ones i hear abt feel like a cult imo #My mom is in a group where this dude calls her and other women there his daughters like lio does to peaches and it feels gross to me idk #Ik everyone craves found family connections but. Idkk it feels weird to be taking that in a literal sense and calling them dad/my daughter #Feels like introducing unnecessary power dynamics. #Theres a difference between 'oh this person is like family to me because we're so close' #vs 'oh i am adopting this person and assuming a parental position over them'. that sounds unhealthy I think ? #Edit I just found out lio posted a response but it's midnight and I have a date tomorrow I'm not watching that rn lol #imo both him and peaches are bad and idc if one is worse than the other or whatever. #Peaches has been two faced for a while; lio might've taken advantage of her bc he's kinda creepy. They're both saying the other abused them #This is like jade and julian talking shit about each other to me. Idc guys I hate both of u srry <3 #Iykyk