#but wheres the love for the transmen? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sorinshuto · 4 months

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I love how much transwomen are loved, it's genuinely great to see

But jesus christ where is the love for transmen? Everyone takes Okiku seriously but they don't take Yamato as seriously, especially in the dub

I follow so many transmen but how often do I see transmen posts vs transwomen posts? I see so many posts about beautiful women and its lovely to see, but where's the love for the men like me?

People will talk all day about girlcock and I love that for them, genuinely, but we need boypussy posts, we need love for the men who arent taken seriously, we need love for the men who dont even look like traditional men, we need love for the cis and trans and intersex men who have to put up with so much androphobia

I love you trans men, I love you cis men, I love you intersex men, if you identify even slightly as male, I fucking love you, I love you with all of my heart, men are amazing, especially trans men, you deserve more than you get and I'm so sorry people don't take you as seriously as you deserve, you deserve the world ♡

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moe-broey · 1 year

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Thank you transwomen (in general but also) for the term "boymode" bc using that terminology for myself as a transguy (so, "girlmode") has been the only way I've been able to aptly and succinctly describe whatever the hell was going on *vaguely gestering to my adolescence from ages 15 to 19* there.

#hope i'm not overstepping or saying some dumb shit LMFAO #but like. speaking v generally. esp in the beginning of unpacking 'oh fuck i. i don't think i'm a girl.'#i found i related a lot more to transfemme experiences of living one way for so long all your life playing A Role #and in some cases leaning heavily into masculinity to 'prove' you couldn't possibly be a woman #than like. so many transmasc experiences i'd see online of like 'oh i always knew.'#and the staples of the experience being like. tomboyish. baggy hoodies. ect.#and like i'm not saying any of that in a derogatory or dismissive way. it's just so much of what i saw as a teen #'researching' being trans so i can be a better 'ally' to my friends and classmates LMFAOO #also this is why the narrative of transmen being 'lost girls' and 'just tomboys' is SOOOO stupid it's funny to me like.#there was a very short stint in middle school where i was more 'tomboyish' in appearance #very quickly it was corrected out of me by the influence of loved ones and myself. that wasn't Really Me #let me tell you. the combination of people pleaser/autistic masking is INSANE esppp when you're in an Evil Setting for it LMFAO #<- evil setting being my specific brand of christianity i was brought up w #but case and point i don't think i was ever actually a tomboy. i was HIGHLY feminine actually.#and i found a lot of delights in feminity too! esppp a love of fashion and cute aesthetics #so like. describing my experience w gender/presentation has always been really difficult language-wise #saying 'when i was a girl' doesn't feel right cause i never was one. just played A Role. i didn't always know though.#i didn't even realize i WAS playing a role. also there were things i genuinely loved and enjoyed associated w feminity.#and saying 'post transition' is weird to me too bc. i'm not? there yet? i'm not done yet.#and any which way of trying to describe 'when i came out' is clunky bc i was always outed/forced out #like. multiple times. even before i had the time to explore it/make sense of it myself.#def rambling but. girlmode and autistic masking are synonyms to me now. it captures everything.#i swear to god the parallels between autism/being trans drive me INSANE to me they are always informing one another.#like i feel like i could write an entire fucking essay about it. if i was an academic i would fucking KILL it

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eggdoesthings · 1 month

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The queer community hates masculinity. It treats it as the enemy and ties queerness to femininity. And there are some problems with this.

1. It completely ignores transneutral and other people who aren’t feminine or masculine.

2. Or they do acknowledge it and try to argue that because it’s not masculinity, it really is tied to femininity. It’s created a binary, if your not masculine your feminine and if your not feminine your masculine.

3. It forces a lot of people to be feminine in an attempt to redeem themselves. For a long time we refused to accept that we were a transman because we felt we would betray women. We believed that men = bad and if you are a man you have to work really hard to redeem yourself because you’re an inherently bad person.

4. Anti masculinity doesn’t just affect queer men. It effects masculinity non binary people to. So often I see people say “women and non binary’s” or treat non binary people are womenlite. Transmasc non binary’s are so often overlooked, because people don’t believe that’s how being non binary works.

5. It hurts masculine women too. I’ve seen people get so upset when butches or futches use the term boy for themselves. “You’re allowed to be masculine but not that masculine.”

6. It makes it to where multigender people who are partially male are somehow infected with the dirty boy disease. I saw someone claim that bigender peoples manness erases their womanness.

7. It’s created this weird binary as I pointed out in point 2. Men vs Non Men. This hurts anyone who falls outside the binary.

8. It hurts transmen. We’re treated as evil and we aren’t oppressed, our identity turns us into the oppressors in their eyes. Transmen aren’t the problem, (trans)misogynists are.

9. It pushes masculine queer men out of the community. We do not feel accepted or loved in our own community.

And other ways I’m too tired to think of. Some peoples queerness is tied to masculinity, and that’s beautiful. Masc people aren’t your enemy, and we should be allowed to exist in queer spaces without feeling shitty.

#egg has opinions #queer discourse #masculinity #masculine #transandrophobia #transandromisia #anti transmasculinity

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missmastectomy · 13 days

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hello, pretty freshly detrans here. i finally understand what all those ‘annoying cis people’ meant when they said gender isn’t a feeling. like, actually, i fully comprehend it now. if you unpack all those supposed ‘gender feels’ it all wraps back to stereotypes and gender roles, whether you identify as a soft boy or a big rugged stereotypical man like i did. because that’s all gender is. and holy shit, i feel duped!

you’re telling me i could’ve spent all this time being a hot hairy butch who defied the social expectations placed on women but i was so entrenched in the idea that i was somehow a man, which is DEFINITELY a real innate category of being and not a made up social class assigned to a given sex to give them more power (sarcasm) that i lost half my family to it? that i argued with people i know and love over it? that i experienced trauma in the church because of it? only to realize that gender itself isn’t even real, something i knew the whole time but hypocritically refused to apply to myself. i’ve been scammed. i dressed up my personality in a blue box and told myself it was a boy. fuck.

at least there’s freedom in sight now. sorry to rant in your inbox, i hope it’s relatable if nothing else.

I completely understand. I also used to feel annoyed when “cis” people said they don’t know what feeling gender is like. The thing is, though, trans people’s gender feelings are actually very easy to understand once you get to the bottom of what dysphoria is. Often trans people will describe their gender identity as stemming from dysphoria, a disconnect between the mind and body. The discomfort and desire to be the other sex is so strong that people transition and the vast majority of trans people describe that as the state of “being a woman/man,” instead of “hey, I’m a bio female/woman transitioning in order to cope with dysphoria.”

I talked about it before, but if you understand why women get harmful cosmetic surgeries because they cannot stand living in their bodies, or why anorexics will hurt themselves in pursuit of a perfect body, you already understand half of trans identity. People often try to reinvent themselves when they’ve been rejected or traumatized. People often try to mold themselves into someone else, someone you were “always meant to be,” but ultimately never will, because the image you’ve created in your mind is completely fictitious.

Most trans people operate like this. Ime there are vanishingly few trans people who recognize that their sex doesn’t change and that they are ultimately still men or women. Most consider gender to be innate, therefore they were always actually men or women. Few acknowledge that it is basically a lifestyle choice. Honestly, a poor one at that, considering the adverse effects it has on your body and social life.

Some transmeds cite sex dysphoria as the reason for transition, but where does it come from? They often argue that transsexuals have brains that map out the body of the opposite sex and that causes the dysphoria, but there’s poor evidence for this. Ask a trans person how they knew they were trans and they will say 1) they always felt uncomfortable in their body/didn’t connect with others of their sex or 2) I’m a boy/girl but engaged in stereotypical activities of the opposite sex. It’s really just a bunch of made up nonsense to explain the suffering a lot of gnc, gay, whatever people experience.

A lot of trans people don’t realize that everyone else also has “gender feelings,” but they just don’t describe it with the language trans people do. Because of this disconnect, trans people often take this as evidence that their gender identities are real and infallible. But if you talk to, say, a woman who was very masculine as a child and didn’t fit in with girls, you will literally hear the same feelings of discomfort that most transmen describe. The difference is that these women grew out of it or learned to cope and accept themselves. Most transmen do not.

The conditions for trans identity to form are a combination of wrong place wrong time. I have a hard time not feeling sympathetic for the old fashioned transsexual types who recognize bio sex because I understand how debilitating dysphoria can be, but the religious mumbo jumbo speak of the modern trans movement is insufferable and harming thousands, if not millions, of people. It’s time to come back down to reality.

#detrans #gender critical #detransition #mail #radblr

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chaifootsteps · 5 months

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Armchair Psychology Anon here (not a real psych just see patterns)

I've been lurking around in that Discord server and just read the ask about how Stolas is Viv. How she pays a lot of money to see Broadway stars then keeps getting closer and closer to them. How she wants to take them away and talk to them about "her books" (her ideas and projects)

Perhaps Stolas as a child is actually her most vulnerable thoughts and feelings about herself. A lonely, sad rich kid who didn't have many or any, true friends outside of her relatives.

That... that might be true. Even if Viv is writing that subconsciously, what does Stolas say to keep Blitz around the first time?

"The one who wants me, is my first ever friend!"

Remember how I speculated that Viv is incapable of maintaining real friendships with people? That she has to lovebomb them over and over until she doesn't have to keep trying anymore?

It's actually really sad the deeper you dig into the shows psyche.

I've also been watching more interviews with Brandon, and Blitz is basically Brandon. (Seeing Stars literally just confirms Blitz is an impsona of himself). He also says "Imps are the lowest of the low but he's really trying to make something out of himself." Which Brandon said he relates to a lot (See his Class Acts poster).

Brandon also looks a lot happier at this anime con they're at right now because... could it be because Vivs not around?

If Stolas is Viv's self insert (especially since she goes out of her way to like tweets saying Blitz is the one who could've stopped at any time, and Stolas is the victim), and there's jokes about her having dick envy, as well as her blatant fetishisizing of gay male relationships...

Chai, I really think Blitz x Stolas is her way of Brandon x Viv.

It's possible she also sees herself as Ozzie, and guess who plays Fizz? As well as Adam, and Pen?

(Less evidence for that, but Ozzie is also rich and powerful).

I know she knows Brandon is gay. Obviously. But... she created a rich, sad, powerful male character to be hopelessly in love with someone who clearly is uncomfortable with him. And they obivously butted heads about it. Brandon certainly seemed uncomfortable at the anime panel where she was saying, "They'd make a cute couple..."

And maybe she's not attracted to Brandon necessarily, but obviously maybe wants to be a man in a gay relationship. But she is transphobic of transmen, so she'll never become what she hates.

I dunno Chai, it just keeps getting weirder and weirder the deeper you go....

I also think the lovebombing of Blake as of late is really creepy too. Especially the "cum" comment.

It feels like a grooming tactic. Older adults saying and slipping little "jokes" here and there to make the victim used to it... not mention the song is about "choking and dying of poison" at the hands of Angel's abusive rapist pimp.

Viv... she's very troubled. I feel very bad for Blake and Brandon as of late.

Michael and Ashley and others really dodged a bullet. Goose seems to be keeping Viv at a distance as well. I'm sure Goose knows everything M&A went through and it's a delicate situation for sure.

Armchair Psychology Anon, know that I'd happily watch a 12 hour, muti-part series centered around your Viv analyses. I really would.

#Anonymous #armchair psychology anon #viv stuff #actual blog post

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tfemlyla · 1 month

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Another post because this has been on my mind for a while.

Don't get me wrong I love you femme4femmes, and I love seeing femmes together in media. But I think femme x femme relationships are probably the most commonly seen in media (which is not bad at all, in fact there should be more lesbian relationships in media since its genuinely hard to find), especially where they're both white, skinny, able-bodied cis women.

But where are the butches? The gnc lesbians? Hairy lesbians? Fat lesbians? POC lesbians? Disabled lesbians? Femme x butch relationships and butch x butch relationships? Transmasc and transmen lesbians? Transfem and transwoman lesbians? Buff lesbians? Lesbians on testosterone? Amab lesbians? Intersex lesbians? Multigender lesbians? Femme lesbians who don't necessarily fit the standard people have for feminine people?

Disclaimer: This is in no way trying to put down femme lesbians, I'm a femme lesbian myself! And as I said before the femme x femme relationships that are in media are great and there needs to be more lesbian relationships in media in general; this is just about how I wish to see all lesbians represented in media.

#mspec lesbian #lesbian #femme4butch #femme4femme #butch4butch #lesboy #transmasc lesbian #transfem lesbian #wlw #poc lesbian

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caparrucia · 1 month

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I've gotten quite a few new followers recently, so I think one of my posts broke containment...

Lemme just.

Take a few proverbial shots in the air:

Trans rights are human rights.

Transmen are men, but they exist within the transphobic clutches of the patriarchy and pretending they have "male privilege" instead of being punished for failing to conform to toxic masculinity makes you sound like someone who's never been in touch with the community IRL.

Trans women are women! They're not inherently predatory and if such a thing as "male socialization" exists, it does not confer them power, but rather punishes them for failing to perform masculinity.

Nonbinary, genderqueer and genderfluid are distinct, valid and separate identities that often overlap but which do not constitute a "third gender" around which to build another stupid gender dichotomy.

Queer is not a slur, it's an umbrella term. If you do not wish to belong to the queer community that is your prerogative, but you do not get to tell MY community that we shouldn't exist because our language makes you uncomfortable.

Acephobia is fucking pathetic and you're a pathetic dork for committing it. Aces, Aros and Demis belong in the Queer community and their struggles are no less real because you want to be a dick about it.

I'm not American. The fact I'm forced to know and keep up with American politics while the average American pretends my country is either a tourist attraction or a humanitarian crisis zone, is in fact a sign of American colonialism and I'm not going to sugar coat it if it makes you uncomfortable to be reminded of it.

Mexican Americans are not Mexican. They're American, with Mexican ancestry. If you center their voices over my own people's when speaking about my own country, I will fucking fist-fight you.

Race is not a game of rock-paper-scissors and intersectionality is not about keeping score about whose opinions are deemed blanket correct without a second thought.

People's existence is not in itself an act of activism, so for the love of fuck, stop being weird to strangers who are just vibing and calling them "brave" and "inspirational" just because they allow themselves to exist in public. You sound like a tool.

Israel is committing a genocide. It is not antisemitic to point out that Israel is in fact doing a genocide. The solution to Israel committing a genocide is not to be antisemitic.

There are in fact several genocides currently on going: Sudan, Ukraine, Nigeria, Afghanistan, Syria, North Korea, Myanmar, India, China, Ethiopia and Congo, just to name a few. It is not racist to point it out. But it is racist to reduce any of them to merely a snarky remark in an attempt to prove how not racist you are. It is extra racist to say "other genocides" without acknowledging them specifically.

There's still hasn't been a situation where siding with the people committing the genocide turned out to be the right choice.

There's no such thing as a funny genocide joke.

No, not even that one. It's a genocide, it is inherently unfunny and if you consider that a challenge, you have lost the plot.

Primarily, though, this is a fandom blog.

Fandom is not activism and if you think it is, you owe me fucking reparations for the stupidity. If you argue about the well-being of fictional characters at the cost of real people, we're gonna have problems.

Neither you nor I are obligated to make every part of our presence online about the human rights violation of the hour. It's okay if you curate a space that exists only to make you feel better. This is my feel better corner. I will talk about things that are important to me, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to talk about all the things that are important to me.

I reblog art I like, tumblr posts I find funny, the occasional rant and the fic I write in my spare time.

If you like my shit? Cool. Consider throwing a tip my way if you like.

But I'm not a news outlet, and unless I'm quoting extensively and providing and citing sources, I'm talking out of my ass because it's my own corner of the internet and that's what I do here.

I've been on the internet since 1998, I promise you whatever has you in a frothing rage is neither new nor unnuanced. Please assess if it's worth spending your limited time on this earth getting angry at strangers on the internet.

It sure as fuck isn't worth mine.

#shut up rie

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she-her-cuntboy · 10 months

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Fantasizing about having a cis boyfriend who talks me into kinkier and kinkier sex, secretly laying the foundations to start detransitioning me. When I realize, im scared, and I go to a friend to talk about my worries. He's trans like me, and agrees that it might be something to keep an eye on, but give him another chance - maybe it has an innocent explanation, and he's not trying to detrans me. Maybe im projecting my own kinks - when's the last time I had sex that wasn't catered to a cis penis? He convinces me to have sex with him, casually, as friends, we've known each other a long time and used to mess around sometimes before I met my boyfriend. It feels so good, but the whole time I feel guilty - what if my boyfriend sees it as cheating? We haven't talked about exclusiveness, and I tend to lean towards polyamory, but if he's monogamous I wouldn't want to do this behind his back. So the moment I come home to him, I break down and confess tearfully.

He listens gravely, and carefully keeps his expression neutral, but I can tell he's hurt. He asks who it was with, and I tell him - he knows my friends. "Oh!" he says. "That's fine, babydoll. Well, I mean- I would have preferred we talked about it before, so I'm honestly still a little hurt, sweetheart... but I don't have an issue with you, uh, having sex or whatever with other people, as long as it's not another real- I mean cis man." I eagerly agree to his boundaries, and reassure him that I've never been into other cis men and he's the exception, the love of my life. I easily ignore his awkward wording - he's not as familiar with queer terminology and talking about sex can be a little weird to put into words anyway.

What he's carefully avoiding scaring me off with is his true opinion that he's slowly going to acclimate me to, which is that queer "sex" doesn't count without a cis man's penis. It's not cheating if it's two transmen, because that's just lesbian sex and there's no real man claiming his property. He thinks it's cute when I call ftm4mtf "straight sex" as if I'm a boy, because he knows my tgirl friend is still penetrating my needy submissive pussy. And eventually, I start to question my gender, especially in the bedroom. My boyfriend is always so much more affectionate and into it when he's feeling up my curvy body, and he loves when I act like a girl. I tentatively break the subject with my ftm friend who I talked to at first, and he's very accepting of my "gender weirdness", and respects my request to be treated like a girl in the bedroom, and then anywhere private, and then in public. We spend a lot of time together, talking about sex and kinks, and he's naturally empathetic and seems really touched when I talk about how good it feels to be a good girl for a real man. I'm barely aware of how convincing I'm being, because I don't know the sappy playlists my boyfriend makes me are full of subconscious conditioning and affirmations behind the music - good girls make more good girls. I'm a good girl. Good girls need cock in their cunts. My needy cunt makes me a girl. Brains are for boys and my thoughts are just noise. Good girls make more good girls.

Eventually my boyfriend is my husband, I'm his favorite submissive housewife, and all my old "trans" and "lesbian" friends are playthings for his entertainment. We love having lesbian sex and putting on a show to earn his cum, and I dont remember any reality other than this, or any reason I wouldn't want to be right where I am.

#elle post #dumb puppy #fakeboy #ftm girl #ftm bimbo #ftmtf kink #queer nsft #lgetsd #hypnosub #covert hypnosis #hypnoslut #fantasy detransition #t4t detrans #misgendering k!nk blog #gender play #orientationplay #genderplay #mind corruption

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wackypalooza · 8 months

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(request) ranking the muppets based on how transgender they are (added more characters this time! :D)

we are going in depth with this one starting off with the thing the myth the legend.

gonzo: so probably nonbinary right. but like i figure he literally doesn't care. he doesn't care what pronouns u use on him, he doesn't care what u assume he is. he is just a whatever yk. he probably doesn't use anything to describe himself, but if someone asks he might say nonbinary. (i'm projecting because i kin him and i do this with genderfluid.)

kermit: probably transmasc... maybe nonbinary

miss piggy: transwoman

deadly: transman

scooter: transman

fozzie: transmasc

rowlf: transmasc

janice: transfem but probably doesn't care

dr. teeth: honestly i think he's cis

zoot: I DO NOT KNOW he is just zoot

animal: i think cis maybe but he probably does drag

lips: nonbinary i think... look at that guy

floyd: cis i think

bobo: i believe cis

sweetums: transman look at him he is a transman

rizzo: *if anyone saw this when i said "cis" i take it back so so so much like dude he is NOT. i've been meaning to change that but i forgor... anyway idk What he is right now but i'm def leaning towards transman who may be a bit effeminate but like in the way where he likes romcoms and earworm pop music from the 80s-2010s*

pepé: transman probably

swedish chef: he does not know ehat gender is

clifford: transman

bunsen and beaker: both are transmen

sam: transman

lew zealand: NONBINARY DEFINITELY

statler and waldorf: transmen both

if anyone disagrees with what i've said or has anyone i didn't mention i would love to hearrrr please let me knowww ^_^

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sammy--moh · 9 months

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A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

#queer #lgbtqia #queer activism #transgender #trans activism #slur reclamation #queer history #gay history #lgbt history #mogai identity #gay cub #queer pride #gay pride #multisexual #mlm #t4t #long post #queer punk

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mueritos · 8 months

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Hey. Idk if this is me growing up or just being disillusioned with inter celebs etc. Im a 23 yr old trans man so I grew up and was inspired by chella on the YouTube community. But now I just…don’t like chella man anymore. I feel like…he became an industry plant? Over the pandemic asking fans for money to send to him directly to help others and not showing where the money was going exactly incident as well as just becoming older I noticed he seemed to almost want to become the next Keith haring or basquiat? He almost…now seems very fake? He takes deals with brands to be representation but doesn’t do much to call out certain brands for their faults etc.

Idk anymore

I give Chella credit in that he was one of the few transmen that I looked up while I was young, especially with him being BIPOC. Showing him to my family helped them understand me. But that's where the inspiration kinda stops, because it was painful to be surrounded by years-in-transition trans men online when I was absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. That was a me problem tho. But I also didn't know much about his whole donation incident.

Ig heres what I have to say. It's not great to view other people as your justification of your morals. We don't know how people have had to live or how they live now, we don't know what decisions they have to make, and we dont know what kind of fears or goals they have. Chella is allowed to do whatever he wants with his art or his modelling career, just like how I genuinely believe anyone else in the world is capable of making the right decisions for themselves (even if we dont like those decisions!). Im not really concerned with figuring out if hes an industry plant or a "class traitor" (lol) or even if he's "fake". To be honest, I'm all for BIPOC folks getting their $. Does that mean I enjoy seeing wealthy BIPOC folk perpetuate classism and racism? No. Just cuz someone is succeeding for themselves doesn't mean people cant critique them. I guess what Im saying is I see waaay too many people online take the things they enjoy and the people they follow as projections of their morals: "no! stop [Insert celebrity name] you're being problematic and its makes us fans look bad!" Like....Okay lmfao. People are grown adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. Just because you might enjoy a celebrity does not mean your morals are based on how good of a person they are.

and youre allowed to not like the same things anymore just like how people are allowed to change, for better or for worse. I think within online communities there is way too much pressure on "looking" like a good person versus actually being one...because sometimes BEING a good person makes you look absolutely vile in terms of online spaces/communities love of isolating, removing, and deleting "problematic" (and vulnerable) people from their spaces with no trial, discussion, or attempt at conflict mediation. Yea yea I do think people have every right to be criticized just as they have every right to make whatever decision they want, but what Im trying to get at is to really stop viewing anyone with a platform as someone you can other once they dont meet your standards. This is not the same as denouncing or critiquing someone for really egregious behavior (white supremacy, harrassment, bullying, interpersonal violence). Once you kinda start living by your own morals without needing other people's actions/behaviors to justify/define them, you learn to focus on building connections rather than destroying them.

again, this is a much nuanced topic and you prolly werent expecting me to go into this. but ive grown over the years and have engaged in some nasty and vile mob mentality behavior that i just dont vibe with anymore. im not really the kind of person now to speculate online or publicly what other people are doing or should be doing or whether theyre problematic or not. I don't really care about Chella man or most celebrities rn. People r just gonna be people, and I will always have empathy for those of marginalized identities. Free will, autonomy, and self determination goes both ways, but so does accountability, transformative justice, and reconciliation.

but also like kill ur idols lol

#muertoresponds #like yea its fun having people u follow and look up to man #does it take a lot of time to be following celebrities #there would be days i would just check up on all my micro celebrities #now i just dont give a fuck #theyre people im people we're people #we're all gonna change and do bad and do good #i dont like holding myself or anyone anymore to these fucked up online standards of looking like good people #idc idc idc #this was def not the answer u prolly wanted but its where im at and thats what i gotta say #have ur micro celebrities if u want but like yea #people r people #and so are u #critiques r valid but u cant hold anyone accountable unless they consent to be held accountable #like being held accountable means u choose to be part of the accountability process #not make a lil 5 min notes app apology and be forgotten about in a week because people find their next target #yadda yadda yadda #these r my thoughts

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missmastectomy · 1 month

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So I need some advice, and since you've detransitioned I feel like you definitely have the experiences I'm looking to hear about most, if you're up for answering this, I would be most appreciative.

To start, I am a gay, gender nonconforming (masculine) woman who is over the age of 21 (I know your opinion on transitioning for minors, which I agree with 100%) and has identified as trans male in the past but never medically transitioned.

I identified as male for about five years as a teenager and I was "out" socially but living and constantly comparing myself to cis men made my already low self esteem plummet. Like a lot of trans teenagers I have a host of mental health issues at play and was very depressed. Had two hospital stays for suicide attempts.

Thankfully I've mostly recovered from the lowest points of my clinical depression and gender dysphoria, but I find myself constantly asking whether I would enjoy my life more as a male. Its just this nagging question in the back of my head, that being regarded socially as male would alleviate my discomfort in a world that is often hostile in regards to women, especially masculine ones.

I work in a department full of males where I am in the only female and sometimes its very alienating. Sometimes I think of transitioning as a way to better fit in. However I would hate for anyone to know I'm trans, because that's still "different". I want to be cis male and it pains me that I can never be that.

My girlfriend recently brought up the whole subject of transitioning to me, and she means well. I think she wants what's best for me and was there the entire time I came out and then subsequently desisted. She has seen me struggle and thinks the best option for me might be transitioning, she says she'll love me no matter what I decide though.

But I decided to come to you and ask because I feel like you'll be more honest with me about the actual medical side effects than other trans people might be reluctant to share. Is this sustainable? At all? I want to be able to live in comfort. What made you decide to transition? Also, why did you decide to detransition? I don't mean to interrogate you I just think hearing about someone else's lived experience would be very helpful to me right now. Did you pass well after you medically transitioned? That is one of the biggest things I care about. I guess I would want to "stealth" as much as possible. Be as close to the male experience as possible. Is this a case of thinking the grass is greener on the other side?

Again, many thanks if you decide to answer this I know its a long and personal ask

So the first thing I want to say is that I do not recommend transition for anyone, in a similar way that I don't recommend using alcohol to deal with social anxiety issues or depression. I'll get into why later, but also transition is a personal choice, and since you're an adult I believe you have the right to make that choice. I consider transition to be a maladaptive coping mechanism.

Thanks for reaching out - my blog is always a resource for people who want to learn more from the detrans perspective, and I actively encourage y'all to get in touch if you have questions.

So, I'll try to cover as much ground as possible. I want to address medical issues first. Taking T comes with a LOT of medical sacrifices and no, most endos will not be honest with you about that. Testosterone is an anabolic steroid and is highly controlled, especially for non-trans identified females. Taking a male dosage of T as a female means a very high likelihood of vaginal and uterine atrophy, and there is a high likelihood it will happen to you if you're on a high enough dosage for long enough. Atrophy is no joke. It can cause cracking and bleeding in the vaginal canal, can make it uncomortable/painful to walk, etc. There is more research coming out that HRT is linked with cancer development, and transmen are at a high likelihood of developing cardiac diseases. I know one detrans woman who developed cysts all over her ovaries post-T. It's why many transmen get hysterectomies - because T literally degrades your reproductive system. Our bodies require a certain amount of estrogen to function properly, and removing that will cause issues. Is it worth sacrificing your long-term health to cope with dysphoria? I personally think for most people the answer is no. People don't understand how important health really is until it is taken away.

Aesthetically, your hairline will probably take on a male-pattern. So many transmen and detrans women have balding issues after a few years because again, our bodies are not built for this level of male hormones.

I passed fully as male because I already have a strong face and I started hormones very young, but passing as male is not guaranteed if you take T. Especially because more people are recognizing the "tells" for transmen, there's still a likelihood you'll get clocked. I personally transitioned because I felt unsafe being female and wanted to escape that, also internalized homophobia. I detransitioned because top surgery made me comfortable in my body short-term, because the trigger for my self-hatred was removed. I deeply regret this now. It was a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem.

You mention that you want to transition to be seen as a man, that it would be more comfortable. I know you said you can't be seen as male unconditionally, but I really want to hammer home that if you pass as a man, you will live life as a transman, not a man. It is so common for masculine women to transition to escape the stigma of being a woman, but let me tell you firsthand that transition will just give you more problems to deal with. Health problems, anxiety - am I passing? Do they know I'm trans? The doubt - am I doing this for the right reasons? And I hear doubt in this ask. If you are not 110% sure you cannot function without transition, do not do it. Even then, I was completely sure and I still detransitioned.

And if you do decide to detransition, you may want to be seen as a woman unconditionally again, which is hard. I am at that point now, but I had to gruel through years before I got there. I wish I had saved myself the trouble and someone had gotten me the help I needed, instead of affirming me.

That you had a lot of mental health issues is a huge red flag. Personally, I read this ask and this comes across as a woman struggling with her identity and coming to grips with being masculine. I see a lot of the traits that caused my transition. I'd step away from trans spaces and look at accounts from butch women who recovered from dysphoria, finding beauty in being masculine. It helps a lot to retrain your brain. It doesn't matter what people's misconceptions of you are. How much respect do you have for your coworkers? Are they neutral parties, or are they men with their own prejudices against women, coloring the way that treat and perceive you? Are the judgements of strangers worth altering yourself so much? My answer, personally, is always no. Being true to your real self will always get you farther than trying to escape the problems. Deal with the feelings that brought you here, and your mental health will be so much better for it.

I do not find transition to be sustainable. It IS a grass is greener on the other side situation. Your GF is trying to be supportive, but she doesn't understand the reality of a medical transition. People will often affirm this desire because they mistakenly believe it will deal with the surface-level issues, but it will not. At the end of the day, you are still there. The problems will persist, but they will just take another form.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful! Feel free to ask or DM me if you have more questions. Again, from reading your ask I do not think transition would be a good choice. But that is my opinion as a stranger. At the end of the day, only you can decide.

#detrans #detransition #trans #transition #mail

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foolishrats · 4 months

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Also just a little rant. But I hate that all the makeup tutorials, hair tutorials, outfit inspo, etc all the stuff that people tell you to do to look more masculine is made for and by skinny people that are already pretty masculine anyway

Where is the support for transmen that look like curvy cis women and dont have access to hrt?

People that identify as being masc but have feminine voices and round faces and ""female fat distribution""?

Nobody wants to show love to trans men that are fat and don't look like men

#t #foolishrants

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rosedom · 1 month

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HIHIHIHIHI :D daily reminder from the lil froggy on your shoulder that ily drink your water and take good care of yourself however that looks for you!! (this is both at you and at anybody who sees this <3)

this is a more serious conversation but can we,,,? Talk about the amount of fem-aligned (usually cis) people who get involved in gay transmasc spaces and interact with gay transmasc work just On The Regular?? Because like. I have marshmallow boundaries and struggle to assert myself even in regular conversations, and I know the other transmasc people in my life have said the same kind of thing (it gets practically shoved down our throats through societal expectations and the reactions to the way we don't conform I fear) and that usually goes doubly when we're trying to assert ourselves to fem-aligned people, so it's just- Why do some fem-aligned people choose gay transmasc spaces specifically as the one they want to be part of? Because I also know I sure as hell am NOT welcome in their "girls only!!!" spaces. The hypocrisy of it and the weaponized incompetence vibes makes me genuinely a little furious and the transphobia and TERF mentality doesn't sit right either.

And my favorite part of that conversation: Reassuring anyone who thinks I'm talking about them because I'm talking about people who are using she/her and are cis, OR do not express a single thing about gender nonconformity, and then simultaneously using gay transmasc spaces. I am not talking about multigender folks or anyone who is gnc and feels safe in transmasc spaces. Y'all are welcome. I love you. Kissing you on the mouth rn (or a forehead kiss, high five, or just finger guns depending on your level of comfort ^>^)

Would apologize for ranting in your inbox but I'm not sorry. Love you lots Rosey, if you need a guard dog I can bark (jk ^>^) but I AM a guard frog and I take my position seriously!

drink water, too, lovely !! （＾∀＾●）ﾉｼ

and honestly !! yeah !! i leave a lot of leeway on my gn!reader posts for people of any gender to read and enjoy, reblog, like, interact with, whatever, cos. it's gn. gender neutral. but . . i'm made uncomfortable when it's cishet women interacting on my amab!/male!reader posts, especially with ftm!characters. i write transgender porn of characters, as a transman myself, cos i want other transmen to know that their bodies are desirable, and they are not disgusting. it is so hard for us to learn to love our bodies in a place where we are constantly either 1) told that we are gross, or 2) fetishized.

it's just . . there are so many other blogs out there that cater to femdoms, to cisgender/heterosexual doms in general. why stick here? at the end of the day, i am a safe space for trans mlm (as well as cis mlm and nblm) above all else, and i am most terrified of people treating my blog as place where they can fetishize men with pussies.

but most of the time, i'm not even gonna bother hunting it down. if you have she/her in ur bio, i'm not going to be one to assume, ya know? i give people the benefit of the doubt (marshmallow boundaries yooo), probably too much, but . i just want people to feel safe here, and i want fetishizers to know they are in no fucking way welcome here.

#roseyapping #sorry if i sound like a bitch LMFAO #like . there r plenty of u who are fem ! or women ! and i don't care ! bc u STAY ON MY GN POSTS and do not fetishize transmen .#it's just weird to see people fetishize mlm in general #especially when it's a transman involved. he is not a woman because he is a bottom or a sub or because he has a pussy. thanks #and clearly there r exceptions. aroace ppl. transwomen who interact with my amab posts. so on !

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dayvan · 1 year

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About people on this site hating transmen, I wanted to say I'm transfem (although extremely closeted) (red state, and not independent...) but like I delayed coming to that realization for a longer time than I should have because it seemed like every time I looked at a popular transfem blogger on this site they just hated transmen so it kind of pushed me away because I didn't feel that way... It really bothers me because I have a lot of transmasc mutuals (and finally found non-infighting wonderful transfem mutuals as well) and I love all them, and am genuinely really bothered by the infighting that just... I don't understand the purpose of or what it accomplishes other than making us easier targets... Anyways from this #girl <3 you transmen and mascs!

WE LOVE YOU TOO!!! and i totally get where youre coming from, its a good thing you didnt let it completely stop you because i cannot stress enough how this infighting bullshit is EXTREMELY online

I've had trans women and transfeminine people in my life for years, including childhood friends, and not once has this been something that created any tension between me and them or between them and their other transmasculine friends. i started taking very long recurring breaks from tumblr circa 2018 and when i came back and actually started engaging with other users again i noticed that tumblr developed an immense bubble/echo chamber problem since then, specifically with jaded trans and gay people.

i definitely think a lot of the downright extreme discourse opinions we're seeing are a result of too much time spent surrounded by the same group of very similar people constantly patting each others asses over escalating resentful 'takes' that they posted for validation in the first place. it's a vicious cycle that encourages more and more resentment and bitterness..

i don't think these people are inherently bad or malicious, i think they're misguided and stuck in a feedback loop with an antisocial coping mechanism. if i could talk to them now i would urge them to go outside more and look at people in their eyes more often, even if the people they see aren't necessarily queer. just being exposed to other people in the real world and their multifaceted lives can do a lot to keep you from always assuming the worst about others, and it's a nice reminder that you're not the protagonist of life or gay people.

#thank you for the sweet ask <3 #with enough genuine kindness and unbridled love we can fix tumblr's antisocial irony poisoning addiction. i believe it

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w98pops · 9 months

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Still cant believe a fucking terf is in fallout fandom intecacting with trans creators and drawing her ugly stereotypical twink transmasc character. You should be ashamed

What is even happening to my inbox anymore. Idk if it's the same person that asked about Sharky or not, but it really makes me uncomfortable.

I don't know where the TERF stuff even come from, but I'm very open with my political views and yeah, I was a radfem in 2019 or something. I also was a very vulnerable sad russian teenager. I know not a lot of people on tumblr aware of all the intricacies of russian internet scene, but I assume you, anon, have some knowledge, because you called me a TERF in the first place.

There's an internet phenomenon called "alt-right pipeline" and I fell in the simular thing called "TERF pipeline". This shit is inevitable for every single afab person that speaks russian. It's a really big thing. I don't say it's an excuse to be a bigot, but I was 12 when i first touched the internet. I was insecure, very fucking poor and spiteful. Also I had and (still have) some hormone problems and was generally a pretty ugly girl so coped with it by drawing ponies and hating on elusive and mysterious "men in skirts" these smart twitter girlies always talked about.

To be perfectly honest, I genuinely don't understand what russian TERFs are fighting for or against, I was in this shit for solid few years and still have no idea. I mean, now it's illegal to be transgender in Russia (a real law), but it wasn't a win for these angry teenage girls, it was a win for genocidal bigoted russian government, the same one that legalized domestic violence (also a law. its officially not a real crime in this country). I went off the topic and started ranting about my frustrations with the government again FUCK 😭

I tried to say that russian internet is genuinely a fucked up place, but I lived in the middle of Siberia in a village, ideologically only had my orthodox grandma, racist older brother and TERFs on the internet. I only started to learn english a few years ago, so i didn't have enough options before that. Or, to better words, didn't have enough knowledge to be a better person.

I'm really really and sincerely fucking sorry for that. Like, truly. It was really fucked up and I'm ashamed of stuff I said and supported blindly. I now have resources and have some media literacy in my disposal and basic understanding of english to educate myself about the topics I'm talking about. I'm trying my hardest to show support and love to all my queer friends and mutuals, and as an artist I do all I can to be inclusive, not because I feel the need to, but because I want to.

I have no right to speak about trans people and their issues and I won't. I don't know if Sharky is as bad as anon described, because I'm biased (this is my character after all) and not educated enough to acknowledge all the stereotypes associated with transmasculinity. I would really enjoy to hear opinions of my fellow transmen. To address some of my choices regarding his design and writing:

- He wears pink, because it's a quirky color that doesn't show up much in Fallout. Never meant to de-masculate him or to ridicule him. It's my favorite color, after red and brown, which are the primary colors of Wendy.

- He has a silly personality and a carefree attitude because 1) I'm projecting and 2) Wendy needed a character to balance out her awkward and moody autism

- He's a girl's boy and has wives. I didn't have the reason to make him not like girls. I wanted him to be an example of positive masculinity and solidarity. He is a straight dude who loves women. Not just sexually attracted to them or sees them as pets. They are his partners. With their own personalities and lives. Also I wanted to make a full circle 😭😭😭 I'm asexual and bi-romantic. I like boys, girls, all between and beyond boys and girls and don't really think sex is a big thing for me. Aletus likes boys, Sharky likes girls and Wendy likes when there's no sex. Pretty simple, I think.

Hope this explains why Sharky is the way he is. Would still really appreciate an opinion from a trans person. Or any kind of feedback really, because I've been feeling really fucking bad lately and can't objectively reflect on my choices. Also more questions about my OCs are very much welcome. There's a lot of stuff that made me feel like I've been misiforming people, including this anonymous message, and I will specify anything you want to know. Thank you all a lot.

#at least i got this little rant of my chest #but i dont know anymore #ive been feeling shameful for a lot of my posts here lately #i feel like no one really wants to see me post stupid ass oc sketches for another gajilliomillionth time this week #i know its not true but im angry at myself that i just cant draw shit anymore #considered taking a break but what will i do bruh #in moments like these i truly fucking wish i had friends #<- cringe emo shit I prohibited myself from saying

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