#but ye whatever

[foundfamilynonsense]

Had a dream where mini golf was added to the Olympics. And one of the Olympic mini golf athletes lost the gold because she hit the windmill.

And she tweets with a picture of the windmill and the caption “bout to go through my Don Quixote phase” and honestly I think that’s the funniest thing my brain has ever come up with.

#yes I know in the actual book the windmill isn’t that big a thing #but whatever #don quixote

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies” #serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited... #i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest. #it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!' #'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members... #..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)' #anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language? #maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value” #and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs) #happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills) #and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on... #...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works? #beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

[rlyehtaxidermist]

archangel michael, brandishing his trumpet, ready to play the song that signals the end of the world: who are you and what are you doing here

weird al yankovic, accordion in hand, ready to play the polka that signals the end of the end of the world:

#yes i know i got the archangel wrong whatever it's too far gone now

[greyias]

Oh look, it seems everyone has been opted into the unfortunate "experiment" now. For everyone who has been blissfully using the old UI up until now, welcome to hell :)

Do you not like hell? Do you want to leave and crawl back up into the sunlight of the old UI? Well, have I got a link for you! A beautiful tumblr user (who is not me) has gone and fixed things beautifully for you already: https://github.com/enchanted-sword/dashboard-unfucker

You will need to have Tampermonkey installed on your browser of choice, and once that's done, just go to the github link above, and peruse the readme to install. And voila! You have your old dash back!

The authors of XKit Rewritten said during the experiments that at the time, since this was an "experiment" they weren't going to implement anything to revert to the old UI (although who knows if they'll do it now). And the dashboard unfucker has worked beautifully enough for me to where I genuinely couldn't tell if they had ended the experiment or not.

#EDIT: pinning this for a few days so muts can find it if needed #EDIT: but also because i'm muting notifications because my phone is now dying #i foresee me possibly having to mute the notifications on this post #but whatever #(update: my prediction came true faster than i anticipated before i could even fix link mistakes or typos 🤷‍♀️ SORRY) #(when posts you make for your muts get a little further out than expected) #psa for anyone who the new ui winds up bothering #here's a way to basically revert to ye olden times

[kaiju-krew]

big grumpass cat

#*goji's free will leaving his body at 50000000 kilometers per second when mosu tells him to do literally anything* #he dont give a fuck what it is his ass is SAT #yes darling whatever u say darling<3 malewife ass lizard god he's so whipped it's crazy #gxk #godzilla #mothra #kong #shimo #mothzilla #mosugoji #my art

[bivampir]

must representation be “good”? is it not enough to watch two men destroy each other's lives

#unironically tho: the main purpose of fiction is to make us engage w it. if representation is good but boring as all fuck i don't want it!! #or whatever verilybitchie said #yes this is about Lestat and Louis obviously . #iwtv #interview with the vampire #hannibal #loustat #hannigram #my posting #3rd degree failpost

[wombywoo]

retired 🩶

#call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #my art #listen this took me like two weeks so y'all better appreciate 🤌 #johnny is the super active DIY father of the family #simon has made his way through all of the miss marple mysteries and has now set his sights on naval fiction #also growing his fringe out to hide the early onset baldness #johnny has gorgeous hair but we knew that #the dogs are called roger and wee albert--guess which is which #yes they all sleep in the same bed~ #I guess I just need to see these two old and cranky and alive for whatever reason... #let them both burn in hell after a few good decades learning how to live beyond just surviving #god they probably make a banger pot roast....

[anneapocalypse]

So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.

#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera #not exclusively but i am talking about her #'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care! #just say that you do not like the character. #people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like #'wow. :( that's terrible.' #and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT #when are we going to learn #when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed #because in practical terms #that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people. #you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like. #you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits #without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments #that's how it works #but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media #when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining. #gwaren exports #fandom problems #fandom critical

[machinerot]

#my art #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #harrykim #kimharry #or whatever they're called #let this man have happiness or so help me #im a firm believer in harry getting a slow post-recovery glow up alright. it's the least i can do for the guy. #man i was listening to so many banger songs while making this #im still getting back in the flow of painting so most of my stuff is kinda messy still #but i suspect ill find a middle ground between this and my last piece style-wise #gearing up to drawing kim in all his glory too now that ive finished two different side profiles of him. only a matter of time now #also fun little fact. i drew over half of this (~4 ? hours) using just my finger on the trackpad of my laptop lol #sometimes it helps me to just put shapes and colors down. when ive got a pen i get too nitpicky about being perfect/using fancy techniques #sometimes all you need is. finger 🫶 #OH!! i forgot to mention someone spotted it in the tags—yes this is based on that one leyendecker piece!!

[ministarfruit]

stardew valley marriage candidates

#stardew valley #oh dear god character tagging. ok here we go #sdv alex #sdv elliot #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv abigail #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv leah #sdv maru #sdv penny #it's like memorising an entire homeroom class #I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW THEY'D TRANSLATE INTO MY STYLE #bros the concept of this town full of bisexuals that could want you is so funny #like I have mostly just been farming but it makes me laugh when I remember #ah yes. bisexual town #obv that's an umbrella term in this context and you're free to HC them whatever you wish #I just think bisexual town has so much potential for shenanigans

[lastoneout]

Pacific Rim is the best movie ever made for the same reason Sif is the best boss in Dark Souls. It's not bcs of quality or craftmanship or whatever it's bcs when I hear "giant robots fighting giant monsters with the power of love" and "huge wolf with a big fucking sword" I am overcome with the urge to scream "HELL FUCKING YEAH" at the top of my lungs before headbutting a wall so hard I leave a dent in the plaster.

#yes the other movies are good for technical reasons and such whatever who cares #GIANT FUCKING ROBOT #if you cannot understand my vision then idk I hope you get better #pacific rim #dark souls #sif dark souls

[priscirat]

picked up my dungeon meshi reading again. kikimari

#dungeon meshi #kiki dungeon meshi #namari dungeon meshi #kikimari #doodles #yes im still Early in the chapters but like #that one chapter with these two. haunted me all day #me seeing kiki and being like. oh girlie i hope to see u so bad for the upcoming chapters #while marcille was cooking or whatever

[hunterofthehunters]

seeing people talk about the new animated superman show reminds me that the issue superman's had for the last few decades in mainstream media, which is that too many dudebros assume the point of his character is about his "power". like "oooh look how scary he could be, if superman were real he'd be soooo dangerous" and missing the real truth. the ultimate truth. the actual truth:

superman works because he is a fundamentally very similar character to spider-man.

#my adventures with superman #superman #spider-man #thoughts of loog #what i mean is their nature of “with great power comes great responsibility” and “no crisis too small” have an immense amount of overlap #they exist as power fantasies yes #but the power fantasy isn't doing whatever you want #it's having the power to help anyone and everyone you can #no matter how small the problem seems

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 226

"Mother. Mother. Mom. Mum. Mother. Mom-"

Danny sighed as Dan did his best to annoy him, no doubt revenge for the child leash. Which wouldn't have been needed if not for his continued attempts to go off on his own.

As a five year old.

Which wasn't going to happen, no thanks. They had to deal with people trying to kidnap them as "elf people" or something in this dimension already. Ancients, can't people let him travel with his kids for vacation in peace?!

#Prompts #Dcxdp #Dpxdc #dp x marvel #De aged dan #Mom danny #Dad danny #He's just tryin to vibe with his suped up camper with his 6 kids and hellhound #People are concerned about this group of elves or whatever the fuck this family is #Why yes Danny has all of his clones as kids #Jordan calls him mom & Ellie calls him dad #Space core danny #No he's not ghost king #He did get adopted by clockwork tho #There could be some misunderstandings #Either the Kronus kind OR the Time stone kind #Actually it'd be hilarious if Danny gives off similar energy to the space stone thx to being new ancient of space

[lieu-rey]

it's so jov(i)er

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #javier escuella #john marston #jovier #omg im posting again<3 #also yes im making the same live reaction joke whatever suck my ass #ive been meaning to post this shit for weeks #my art