#but yeah this is good shit i love being sad

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

fic prompt: Ed & Stede watch a bird raise hatchlings through their bedroom window (I hope you're feeling better soon!)

"Stede, Stede, babe, holy shit, c'mere!"

Stede held out the teacup he'd brought for Ed, taking a sip from his own as he joined him at the window. "What's - oh, wow!"

"Yeah." Ed took a sniff of his teacup to get a whiff of the cinnamon Stede added at this time of year before taking a drink. The baby birds in the tree by their upstairs bedroom window were some kind of swallow, Stede thought, and looked to be pretty fresh. "Look at them - all cute and naked and everything."

"Just like you were last night," Stede said, nudging an elbow playfully into Ed's side.

"Heh." Ed leaned against him, his smile growing fond. "Pretty cool, right?"

"Pretty cool."

The birds were nice to check in on as they went throughout their days, Stede thought. They watched as they started to get feathers, as their eyes opened, as they started to look more like birds and less like gross little raw meat cutlets. Ed liked when they could spot the birds' mama, and always called for Stede to come watch so he could see her feed the babies and hop around, too.

That was why it was a bit unusual when Stede returned to their bedroom with a stack of folded laundry to see Ed quietly sitting on the bed, watching by himself.

"Alright, sweet pea?" Stede put a hand on Ed's shoulder, depositing the laundry on the bed to be put away later.

"Mhm." Ed leaned his temple against Stede's hip, and when Stede followed his eyes outside, he was a bit surprised to see two adult birds hopping around the nest. "They've got a dad. Didn't know bird dads were, like, very good."

"Ah." Stede clicked his tongue. "Well, maybe bird dads are shit, we don't know -"

"Nah, man, he's an excellent dad!" Ed's lip wobbled, just slightly, as he looked up at him. "Did you know birds got to have that? A dad who - who loves them, and feeds them, and teaches them how to flap their little wings around?"

"Well..." Stede sat next to him on the bed, pulling him into his side. "Sometimes, some birds get excellent dads, and some birds get awful dads. And it's not the birds' fault which one they get."

"Maybe it is," Ed said bitterly, his eyes shining. "Maybe if they were just better at doing their little bird chores and had better bird personalities, their bird dads would like them more."

"Oh, honey, you know that's not true." Stede leaned their foreheads together, looking out at the soft blue sky outside and the birds in the tree. "Baby birds don't have anything to apologize for. They're just babies. They've never done anything wrong."

Ed was quiet, for a long moment, and when he spoke his voice was very small. "It's not fair."

"No," Stede agreed, thinking back to cruel words spoken in a low, unkind register, thinking back to feeling small and somehow wrong for it. "It's not fair at all."

They were both a bit sad when they went upstairs for bed one night and the birds were gone. They'd known it had been coming, they'd watched them flapping their little wings and venturing onto the branches, but it was still a bit sad.

"I hope they'll be okay," Ed said, looking out the window as he got changed into his pajamas. "It's a hard world to be a little baby bird in. I hope..."

He trailed off, his head tucking in the way he did when he thought he was being silly in a way Stede wouldn't like, which just wouldn't do.

"I hope," Stede said brightly, "that they make friends, and maybe even lovers...do birds have lovers? I hope they find out, I guess."

"And I hope they have a good life."

"The best," Stede agreed, joining Ed at the window, wrapping an arm around his waist. "And I hope they always have somewhere to go. Where they feel safe. And loved."

Ed brought Stede's hand up to his lips, kissing his palm. "I hope so, too."

#pccp's kidney stone fics #thanks so much for this one!! don't know how it turned out to be about daddy issues. but it did.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Ok hear me out, what if the yv listeners were single parents? Man, can you image the drama and more fluffy family time!!🥺

Holy shit thats a kid-

Bc there's so many listeners I'm doing Sugarboo, Casper, and Sunflower. If you want a pt2 just ask!

100% made Seth think Alphonse moved on quickly bc he got someone pregnant.

Sugarboo

When Seth first showed up he didn't know and it hurt even more. But when him and Boo met up at the woods they cleared it up.

"I'm going to tell you this once. Alphonse loves you, but I have a kid to protect and ill fuck you up if you do something."

Seth nodded along didn't really know what to say since yeah what parent wouldn't want to protect their kid?

Alphonse is the fun parent to the kid. But will make sure they brush their teeth! After giving them a couple of treats from the shop first tho!

The kid who ima nickname Bun is a really loving kid. Like they saw Seth and was like your cool! And asked a thousand questions at once.

The breakfast was more awkward, bc Bun never say Al yell before and it kinda made then sad. Bc everyone else was getting sad then started crying.

This made Boo snap at Al, Seth too bc he didn't want the kid to listen to all this. So after making up Alphonse apologized to Boo and Bun.

When Seth came back Bun cried seeing him hurt and lied next to him. They dragged him everywhere when he was getting use to being with Boo and Al.

The pillow fort ep was even more sweet bc Bun showed the trio a lil drawing they made. Seth damn near cried.

But oh loorrd the one where Jessie's hair was gifted to Seth? That made it thousands times worse bc the note even hinted at Bun. Seth felt even more ashamed of himself bc he put a kid in danger.

The want of Boo staying in town was even more now bc of Bun. But Boo knew they needed to be there and was stubborn about it.

We can say that Bun stayed in town with some old lady Boo trusted but...who would want their kid away from them?

The car ride there was even more tense when everyone said they're in it. Bun hugged the trio to try and make everyone feel better.

Bun and Boo stayed in the car with Bun being hidden well so if something happens Boo can hide them. Charlie saw the end of the barrel when looking at Boo.

When meeting Jessie Bun tried eating a cookie and did a lil kid cough. Then whined about not getting anything to eat, so Boo whipped something up rq.

Bun was there hugging Seth when he cried. People forget kids are emotionally intelligent sometimes so when Bun figured out Jessie made Bun's favorite uncle/dad figure? They sticker their young out and blew a raspberry.

Charlie being in the room to talk to them was more tense bc Boo was ready to grab him. Even standing in front of the bed glaring hard at him.

Boo's decision going with Derek was even more drastically more needed. Bc he said something about "such a cute lil kid ya got there. Sugar." Boo almost shot him right there.

Everyone was desperate and distraught when Boo left. Bun was crying and Alphonse was trying to calm them. Bun stayed with Jessie and the boys left.

Boo pointing the gun was leaning a bit more twords a parent needing to protect their kids. Also when Al sees Finn he tells the blonde he better make everything right bc he has a kid to protect.

I can see so many cute thing sharpening with Bun and the boys. Seth and Alphonse spoil them so Boo gotta be the bad cop between them all.

Seth shows Bun how to hike and make things he learned when younger. Even telling him stories too!

Alphonse loves having his lil candy taste tester around. He also helps sneak some baked goods to them if Boo let's Al have some.

Casper

Them having a kid would actually break Charlie. Bc he lost his chance of course they found someone that loved them and gave them a kid.

But blah blah other parent gone so when Charlie does meet the lil ghoul their eyes sparkle asking about his skateboard and his hat.

Charlie kinda has a hard time connecting with he kid. Since he did sell shit to kids when younger.

"Charlie, it's okay. I trust you with ghoul. Your my friend stupid."

Charlie smiled at the words and did try to connect with the kid. He actually really connected with them bc he's a kid at heart.

The sleepover ep was different when Casper slashed Charlie's tires bc ghoul cheered when they did.

Also with truth and dare they played a kiddy version with ghoul before they knocked out. Then the confession happened.

The mall date was cute bc everyone thought they were a small family and ghoul just said how his parents were cool bc they rode skateboards.

With dancing at the abandon school ghoul had a babysitter at the house. Casper and ghoul tried to convince Chalrie to stay but he left </3 but then returned with another child! A fur baby :o

Ghoul loves lil guy and helps take care of them. They are basically siblings even fighting over a pizza slice once. Since the eye was hurt on lil guy ghoul gave them one of their pirate eye patches.

Sweet Pete loves the kid and makes sure to give them a pizza when they come over. Off of Charlie's pay check of course.

Going to the skate part is a MUST with this lil family. Ghoul learns trucks that Casper and Charlie did when younger. It's so cute when they got so excited when they landed their first kick flip!

If Charlie ever does introduce the kid and Casper (again) to his parents they love the two. His mom spoils the kid and his dad bonds a but with them.

Charlie really wants to better himself even more with Casper and ghoul bc he wants to be someone their gonna be proud of.

Sunflower

When first going into Talk Floral Finn was suprised seeing the lil hands of seed touching the counter showing off some change to get a lil rose for their parent.

Seed loves Finn's rambling and saw him staring at their parent and giggled.

When coming back again Seed asks if they can learn more from him. Which gives Sunflower the opportunity to ask as well.

So Seed and Sunflower get to have classes and stuff. Finn really connects with the kid even calling them seedling jokenly. But it really stuck with them.

When they went to the cafe and the drink spilled Sunflower made sure nothing got on Seed. Finn was panicking and almost cried but got embarrassed like in the og bc he was wiping too close to Sunflowers personal space.

Sadly Seed wasn't there when Sunflower asked him out but demanded to be om the date.

But we know Finn got distracted and such so Seed gave him a glare when coming in. But apologized when Sunflower noticed it and scolded them.

With the Yule ep all three made lists of snow angels and snowmen! Seed was cozy in a big thick coat while being on their parents lap listening to Finn. They even fell asleep first.

Seed prefers to be om their parents back when sleeping so during the cuddling ep Seed agreed with Finn saying that their parent should stay. They fell asleep again and when they woke up they were babysat by Finn.

Seed goes to parks a lot so they get flowers to Finn. Like those ones you see all the time and says it's to add to his collection. Finn keeps them all, even pressing them so he can put them on a bookmark.

Finn is clumsy but makes sure the kid is safe at all times. Like he tried to carry them once and fell but made sure to lean as hard as he can to protect them.

Finn is the best at calming Seed down and getting them to say what they want. It's okay use your big words Seedling. And Seed tells him what they need or what happened.

Finn also kinda feels like he's not the best example for a kid but Sunflower shuts that down saying how he handles Seed perfectly bc even Sunflower had to admit that their a hand full sometimes.

#red rants #yuurivoice #yuurivoice alphonse #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice charlie #yuurivoice finn #red answers #red writes #single parent reader

[stormphantomnightingale]

https://www.tumblr.com/dcxdpdabbles/737569117273456640/there-are-so-many-fics-out-there-where-danny-is?source=share

So after reading this ☝️for the who knows how many time, when an idea or something just popped out. Now we all know that in this magnificent fandom(dpxdc) that Amity is a no go area right? Well what if and I mean what if the Bats after talking with sad trenchcoat man(Yes I called John that and no I will not stop thank you very much) about Amity, Conny goes hesteria cause he outdated and stuff or just didn't know King Phantom but yeah starts talking about Pariah Dark(who is redeemed or just in the dog house cause he pissed of clockwork), ghost zone being dangerous etc etc.

Now this makes the bats assume even more that our space boi Danny is not safe. So what they do? After idk bribing the judge or somehow provide 'proof' of abuse which makes the Fenton's lose custody(Danny is not happy), takes Danny to Gotham(via knockout cause my boi will go feral), then returns back to amity as the furry squad. Do some hacking shit but since they don't know Fenton tech and Fenton thinking(I genuinely believe the Fenton's are Hella smart like Hella smart it might piss of Lex) and probably set up the self destruction system(TUE vibes).[which to normal people is the portal closing shut permanently,data is gone or encrypted by which a Fenton can access idk it's your choice person who decides to read and write or see this interesting].

Now we can make it that either one adult comes back alive or survived the blow due to being heavily ecto contaminated or be a ghost but I'm hoping Maddie (and Jazz) cause guys lets be honest here. Maddie is a beast when it comes to her family and kids, I can tell through canon wise she will literally go through hell, Tartarus, hell even throw hands with some ancients just for her kids. But anyways one Fenton comes back, teams up with Vlad(could be poly or good asshole uncle Vlad) along with the Elinor or Elizabeth(Yes Dani's other name is Elizabeth or Elinor) and Dante to try get Danny back.

Now to our boi we love, care Danny. So we have suspicious, angry and so many emotion Danny Fenton-Wayne. So we Danny who was practically taken away from his safety, his home, family, his friads and into another on in America. Now we can all agree that Danny is not happy about this and not because of the -whole taking me away from my family and no I'm not being in denial they love me so stop talking u ancient poorly dressed furries- It's about something much bigger and we all know, we hate it, despised it and we call it.... ANTI ECTO ACTS or as I like to call THE REBOOT WITCH TRIALS.

So that abomination there is something Danny hates,fears so him being in America puts him in bootleg men in black because of a bitch named Lex Luthor. It's like painting a bullseye on him, a huge ass arrow pointing at him with the signs 'Im a ghost in America come cut me up'. So yeah its bad for him especially when he finds out the Wayne's are sponsoring The furry squad and the justice league which in turn make things worse for him and the ghost zone cause the ghost(and other supernaturals cause u can't tell me, once a vampire or mermaid find out humans are now hunting ghosts they wont immediately assume they are next? Let's cause mass panic with the other supernaturals, witches having PTSD, they tweeking seeing the acts)are demanding blood, war, retribution from the living. So he is in emeny territory trying to survive, try get back to his family and try to calm the other ghost cause they thought he died to the explosion(yeah Danny won't be okay)but never came to the ghost zone so vengeance for the king.

Welp that what came up in mind, u can ignore it, or whatever just thought I share something with yall. But yeah basically for the last paragraph I want maybe the Justice League to either face backlash or punishment for agreeing with the law, cause in most fics we don't get to see what the ghost think or if they forgave em. Cause while the humans(idk why I'm calling people human when I'm human as well) think the Justice league was writing a wrong most will question if this won't happen again. I want the supernatural to actively be upset with them especially those from the magic committee, to question whether they should be trusted seeing as this was a retry of the Salem Witch Trials Era. And to exactly be wary and suspicious of Bruce or just genuinly not trust or like him cause guys let's be fucking honest here while yeah the bats is awesome we forgot one thing he is human flesh and bones, something so fragile in the eyes of all supernatural that they can accidentally squish him because they used to much strength or smth. And suddenly some supernaturals are scared of him? They fear him because of what? His paranoia, his contingencies? Nah that should be a warning cause logically and I mean logically can u tell me straight in my face that u trust this man while knowing he stalks you 30/7, goes through Ur personally stuff without permission btw, breaks in your house when u were at a wrong time, wrong place?? Have either his kids pretend y'all are buddies or your lover just to keep u on a leash?.

And if we are going to do the Lazarus Pits is ectoplasm, then the bats are done for especially Jason. Cause I can tell once the ghost found out the league agreed to the acts be lawful they won't help, cause why help the ones that tried to eradicate them?(how u may ask? Well it's simple, some soon to be fading corrupted ghost escaped when the portal first opened causing massive damage, some deaths etc and maybe the other reason maybe the citizens first cause of the negatives in the show, public enemy number 1 so forth). So the league after failing formed the GIW and soon left Amity thinking the people will be 'safe')

One note, would it be funny if the League of Shadows find out about the Acts and Lazarus pit being ectoplasm and just had straight to Amity for protection and probably swear loyalties to the ghost zone since the be liminal asf lonly to be stopped by Maddie and after some good ol' fashion Fenton style shenanigans, Maddie is either adopted to be the new Demon head or is the demon head??

So yeah that's what came to mind, so tell me what u think.

#good Fenton parents #Let Maddie have a good fanfic #Ghost king Danny #Dan phantom #Can we all just admit the Anti Ecto Acts is just a gorey reboot of the witch trials back in Saleem #Ra's pledging loyalties to the ghost king #assumed abuse #Bruce trying to forcefully adopt Danny and the Fenton's are refusing #Danny Fenton #Good Vlad Master #Fenton-Masters Clan #Supernatural gang being in mass panic right now #Witches having flashes of Saleem #BAMF Maddie #DpxDc

[bitch-exe]

the new the 1975 album is already altering my body’s chemistry. i have listened to about you on repeat for half an hour. i am not who i was when i woke up. matty healy i want to kiss you and also hit you with my car.

#anyway great album can’t wait for it to completely change my projected spotify wrapped at the last minute #also obvi about you is my fav #i was a robbers girlie back at the start and this being the lyrical sequel? fuck me #also women in the 1975 songs will always have my heart #jesus christ 2005 god bless america was my number one song on wrapped in 2020 to absolutely no one’s surprise #but yeah this is good shit i love being sad #the 1975 #being funny in a foreign language #matty healy #abby shut up #greatest hits lol

[itsbebebe]

what i took from tallulahs book is that she actually rlly does need to spend more time w/ the other eggs/parents cuz she doesn't realise that they all fucking adore her and are clamouring to look after her and think shes amazing but just dont know her well enough. Its not that they have misconceptions about her, its not that bbh forgot her birthday, its not that dapper and pomme purposefully triggered her abandonment issues. its that they dont know/remember cuz they never see her and thats why its actually kind of important that her and chayanne get to hang out with ppl like forever and stuff more regularly ("if they are actually willing to" she mutters, eyes trained on chayanne).

#and tbf with her signs there was a lot of ppl and a lot of things going on #and cuz of tallulahs abandonment issues she doesnt like to be ignored #in spite of being rlly quiet #like yeah book sad good angst but also half of what she says is kinda crazy from the 3rd party pov #actually i think the eggs should know more about their other siblings' issues #that was gonna be my point abt the richas stuff yesterday that most of the eggs DIDNT know so cant avoid triggering shit for him #this isnt tallulah neg btw i love tallulah #parts of this sound a bit harsh on her #qsmp #liveblogging

[anothermonikan]

Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)

#hey she didn't actually come out too bad! #I didn't show the last time I tried to draw Sunny but it didn't look great ehe ^^; #I think Ponies are gonna have to be a digital art only thing for now cause I had the select and drag so many elements of this #to make this look right sahsdhdshsdh #Yeah despite liking ponies since I've became a conscious thing I never drew them a bunch #and well. that's because I didn't start drawing properly until I was like. 11 years old. and I was super into something else then ehe ^^; #Sorry to get personal in the tags of an mlp art thing but I do think about how I always wanted to draw but like. #I was such a chronic perfectionist as a little little kid??? I HATED everything I tried to make XD #It makes me a little sad yknow? cause like. most kids don't give a shit they just draw whatever and it's beautiful and amazing #it makes me sad that I didn't allow myself to have that! I worked backwards IG lmao #little 6 year old hating everything she tried to make for not being perfect to me now where I love when my art is full of imperfections #that's the point of art!!! Have fun!!! It doesn't need to be perfect or even “good”! #because art is about expression yknow? and drawing stuff you like! #sorry this only took like an hour this should be on a more high-effort drawing sdhdhdshsd #Also um hi to the person who followed me for MLP G5 art?? I mostly post about puters and Ultrakill and Rain World here #But I do really love ponies I need to draw them more often XD #this is my whatever blog. I post whatever interests me here hehe #MLP #MLP G5 #Android Arts #Android.txt

[capri-i-i]

they need to start giving the shitty options to shiver im so tired of her winning

#splatoon #bc i know good and well if she got team fame and not frye love wouldve won like it did the other 2 times #i dont even get why people like her shes so BORING #boring personality boring design boring boss fight boring dialogue #i think this is the result of fests being regional #cause yeah 3 teams on its own can work well IF THEY WERE KEPT REGIONAL #cause now nintendo has to come up with themes with 3 options that resonate with the whole world #which is hard!! cause cultural differences and all that stuff and also just trying to make a theme that isnt boring #which is how we get shit like spicy v sweet v sour and gear v grub v fun #and thats sad considering a good amount of peoples first time playing a fest will be in splat3 #but whatever. thats just my two cents. this fest pretty much ruined the whole event for me #splatfest #money vs fame vs love

[crystalkleure]

Characters who are intentionally written to be horrible little bastard goblins: ✔️ Hilarious

Characters who are supposed to be viewed as being A Good Person in spite of them continuously doing horrible asshole things that would make any reasonable person fucking punch them IRL: ❌ Infuriating

#.It speaks #About me yo #I HATE THAT SECOND THING SO MUCH #INTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOVED. UNINTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOATHED. #The Goody Two Shoes Good Guy Protag @ their sad friend: ''Hey buddy! I am going to shame you for Not Being Happy!'' #''Don't you understand that that's rude to all of your friends? You're killing all of our vibes! It Is Morally Bad To Be Visibly Sad!'' #All of the other characters: ''Yeah!! What protag said!! We love you and forgive you @ Sad Guy but you need to stop being sad Right Now!'' #And Everybody Claps #Literal worst thing in the world. #Like it is DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT if the protag doing something like this has ACTUAL ACCURATE CONSEQUENCES #Like. Say. Sad Guy bottling too much up for too long and then eventually finally exploding in protag's face. #[And NOT being portrayed as Evil for doing so. Might be SEEN as evil by the protag but Is Not Narratively The Bad Guy For It.] #THAT does not bother me. Fuck yeah Sad Guy tell the emotionally abusive fuck and all their flying monkeys to eat shit. #BUT IF THE LITERAL ABUSED CHARACTER TRYING TO STAND UP FOR THEMSELF MAKES THEM THE VILLAIN OF THE WEEK/SEASON I'M MAD #You know? #Protag who THINKS they are Morally Infallible but is actually perfectly human and wrong/does bad shit sometimes: ✔️✔️✔️ #Protag who is a total penis and their dickheadery WINS every time it causes conflict; the /conflict/ is portrayed as unreasonable: ❌❌❌ #If you know me really well you can probably guess which specific two characters I am talking about #I hate both of those little bastards so much

[arionawrites]

decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.

#nine bullet points #of diagnosed things i struggle #i struggle with #1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd #and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck #there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit #probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor #more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao #but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues #awful at establishing boundaries #sh issues #(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter) #suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal #not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao #even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like #yeah this sucks but at least i know it #at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma #OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing. #genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized #not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet #tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh #i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’ #i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now #if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.

[jefferythejelly]

*long, deep, belabored sigh*

#discourse #<- except not really bc i am vagueing #idk im just tired. and sad #for a lot of reasons. some of which are i think v much not the reasons other ppl are mad rn lmao #like. yes it has problems yes i wish it could be better yes this absolutely sucks shit #and that is all v much part of the reason i am tired and sad #but the constant neg abt every aspect of the server also has started grinding on me. well always has i think im just reaching a limit #bc i like it! i do! theres good parts and i like them a whole lot! #idk it just rubs me the wrong way bc even if i do agree with a lot of the criticism whenever it comes from this side of the community #it always kinda feels like its in bad faith to me. like its in desire to watch it burn first and actually improve anything second #and its just like. argh #and like on the flip side. god i love this server but why does it have to be run by a guy who is the way he is #negative #yeah i think this needs that tag too lmao #idk ive been thinking abt taking a break for a little bit here and i dont think i am #mostly bc it would involve unfollowing 90% of my mutuals and i dont really want to do that #but i just wish casually sticking around like this didnt also involve. all the bullshit that comes with being in this fandom(s). lol. lmao. #anyways. i am going to go eat dinner

[willowser]

every day i grow closer and closer to unleashing my soggy toji thoughts on this site LMAOOOO

#you meet him in a bar and you make each other laugh and so he goes home with you #and the sex is good yeah #but you wake up in the middle of the night to him sitting at the edge and staring at the wall #and you didnt notice the ring on his finger until just then #and you try to kick him out for being a piece of shit cheater until he tells you she's dead #and then...you both eat eggs at three in the morning #WAAAHHHHH i cant talk about this actually it makes me so sad #HE LOVES HIS WIFE PLEASE #✿ shut up willow

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The Terror fandom: what screencap moment should I draw?

#there r just so many good ones. we r at the end of vanity. i am hungry and i want to live. watercoloring. climbing exercises. #come with us. pls. like daved young we too r at the gates. #except i genuinely cant stand hickey so im not inclined to draw him or his gang. oh god. i really should do the david young eulogy #its so fucking insane. those fucking lines. we too r at the gates. jacobs ladder. yeah mate u r at the gates of hell not greatness #god. i love this show. rent free in my head since like 2021 or whatever i watched it 1st #goodsir is my fav forever. but i also lov jamy ftzjammies #unrelated #the terror #amc the terror #listen. im sad that i have to work tomorrow so im being needy #wait shit. jacobs ladder is the 2nd eulogy #oh god. how could i forget: like a dream sir

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[soldier-poet-king]

Im still so upset abt my family pulling a Charlotte Lucas on me this weekend but like. It's fine. I am going to get So Buff so I don't have to hate having a soft "feminine" body and also so I'm strong enough to bear the weight of their Ongoing Disappointment (TM) about p much every single one of my life choices and also maybe my very existence

#franposting #im somehow so upset abt that #but also so happy bc im working out again and the weather is nice and i have recipes to make and fresh veg in the fridge #also im reading the gentleman's guide to vice and virtue as a completely self indulgent comfort read #and im just 🥺 #what if u were in love with ur best friend in the 1700s #and u were both boys #but also ur a little depressed and a little bit an alcoholic. and ur dad is a shitbag. #and also ur being chased by highwaymen on the grand tour of the continent. for funsies #literally. in love with ur best friend is such a good trope. making it sad queer 18th century is just. delicious #this shit HURTS and I'm actively crying #because all the bits with his dad are like. YEAH ME TOO. this is one of THE biggest sources of nightmares for me #i can never be free or honest!!! i simply make up excuses abt being single forever and ever #also bk2 is abt felicity and i love her. queen. truly. just wants to get a mans education and escape finishing school. icon #but yeah. this was supposed to be fun haha lil fluff romance with no stakes ol #just a distraction from my woes. and now im like. oh #oh shit we be in it now #dare i say..... sebastian flyte vibes of it all.... #softhearted fop alcoholic in love w ur best friend. rich brit. parent issues. really just need to love and be loved

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

.

#I'm so tired explaining to my nt parents my “ disordered eating'' #YES I'M FUCKING AWARE THAT NOT BEING HUNGRY ISN'T NORMAL #i figured that shit out over my 18 years on this planet #food sometimes makes my want to gag #i find it really unappealing #I'm not hungry a good amount of those times #or just too tierd to put the food on my plate #ik shocker that's not normal either #but i can't help it #if i could i fucking would #telling that it's not normal doesn't actually help me with it #idk what's wrong with me #and yeah i don't care that much about fixing it #I'm tiered always stressed and doing many other things to fix this #i take advantage of it though to a degree bc dieting and loosing weight has been on my mind since preschool #it's sad af #i remember looking down at my stomach and thinking that i need to loose some weight #i remember how sad i was the next couple of days bc i couldn't restrict myself from eating as easily as i could in the past #i was probably 5 fucking years old but at this point is a core memory of mine #i wish i could love eating again as much as i did #but i can't #whatever is wrong with my head has messed with my appetite so badly that i can't go back #diet culture has convinced me that gaining weight is bad even though I'm underweight and need to #but same as the last time this happened i don't do it on purpose this time at least I'm self aware enough to stop it before it reaches the #point of starting to loose my hair #it's messy and complicated i don't know how to fix it but their response doesn't help either it makes things worse

[pepprs]

prefacing this by saying im fine and its whatever and im mostly numb to it. but it kinda fucking sucks that being gaslit about my own sexuality leads to… doubting my own sexuality lol!

#purrs #just went to my first ever lavender graduation ceremony and had a convo w my dad after that touched on the EXACT horrors lol like i need to #learn to not bring this shit up around my parents bc they’re just gonna say the same things. and also it doesn’t matter bc idc about labels #and (to quote ricky) it’s a conversation not a constant. but like fucking hell. just bc ive never ‘’’’’’been with anybody’’’’’’ doesn’t #mean that i can’t know im not straight. the HORRIFIC psychic damage that did to me 5 years ago this month. the way i can’t think about #sexuality or being part of the lgbtq community since and like before then when that happened i thought i was a lesbian and was gonna try to #get involved with the school lgbtq student union . like it’s so ficking stupid and sad. and i can’t trust myself anymore i can’t tell if #anything ive ever felt for anyone is actually real bc according to my (straight and biphobic) parents ‘crushes don’t count’ and i haven’t #even had a crush in months anyway and yeah ive never ‘been with’ anybody. but like god damn. you DO NOT get to tell me i have to call myself #questioning. yeah im questioning but only i can call it that and only if i want to. i get to know me. i get to call me what i am. which also #means i get to work through the years of psychic damage this thread of conversation coming from my own parents has done to me #but i own that. i want to own that. ive had the feelings i have had. maybe they were wrong and misplaced and maybe there are other ways to #interpret them like me jus t having projection issues and whatever. but they were real to me and are real to me and shape how i show up #every single day. i get to know myself. i get to call myself what i am. even though you’re my parents you don’t get to tell me that. and you #should be sorry for how fucked in the head this has made me and how cut off i have become from other people who have felt what i have felt #and from the parts of myself that felt and hurt and loved. like lolllll. i was in a good mood and then that happened and now my heart hurts. #delete later #like i don’t talk abt this shit anymore for a reason 🤪✌️ i am not involved in lgbtq groups or communities online or offline for a reason 🤪✌️ #and it’s yet another manifestation of impostor syndrome too like. ppl wonder why im like this…. there is a very good reason 💖