#canonsaphic

[kat1473]

"Come back! Even as a shadow,

even as a dream."

- Euripides, Herakles

One shot based on this quote + angsty alicent remembers her old friend comforting her on the anniversary of her(Alicent) mother’s death.

In the rare days such as these, were her children are behaved and as dutiful as she’s pushed them, her husband quietly rotting on his throne and her father alone lost in his grief does she remember rhaenyra in a good way.

On this day every year she allows herself the weakness of remembering her old friend. She remembers when this date had first become an important one. The day her mother died was a nightmare. Even now years later she cannot fully recount the memories of her death nor her funeral.

She remembered flashes and sometimes smells or sights would trigger feelings that would arise which she quickly learned to smother into nothingness. But not today. On this day she will allow her mind to replay the memories of how her friend held her close. Comforting her in her arms as she grieved the loss of her mother.

How she fell asleep in her arms and how for the first time since that loss she had been able to sleep with peace of mind. How she awoke and instead of embarrassment she felt relief at the fact that she had stayed.

She remembered the morning conversation still in each others arms not wanting to let go of each other just yet. She remembered how rhaenyra held her close and helped her dress for her mothers funeral. She remembered the heat raiding from her hands and she helped alicent put on her black dress moving closer to hold her from behind fingers brushing her skin comforting her before stepping back and slowly buttoning up her dress.

Alicent could remember even now how hot the princess breath felt on her face when she turned around to face her. Now as she stood with her eyes closed years later. She tried her best to remember how it felt to be burned by the fire staring down at her, making her face flush, heart flutter and breath catch in her throat. She tried her hardest to remember what it felt like to be brought to life by eyes who didn’t hold the glare brought by harsh memories.

She held her breath because for a brief moment she could feel as her heart beat again. She could feel her chest pounding she could feel the heat coming from her body a warmth spreading fast through her veins she felt as though her lungs would collapse. Her throat felt like a prison where all her unsaid feeling resigned. Her heart pulsing with the reminder of what she’d lost. Yearning for someone so close yet so far.

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