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#carm rambles
halsinsnaturepocket · 29 days
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Astarion girlies, would it be a reach to write him having a bit of Claustrophobia?
I feel like after he spent a year trapped barely alive in a coffin, he'd have just a touch of claustrophobia or a fear of being in any sort of small confined space.
I've been thinking a lot about how in an early version of the game you originally had to roll persuasion to get Astarion out of the pod because he was afraid of the sun....and the possibility of him being just....out of his mind terrified when you find him ((much like when you find a feral cat in a dangerous situation and you have to calm them down to take care of them))
i just think its interesting to entertain the idea of him waking up from the nautilod crash in a pod alone freaking out bc he has to choose between being burned alive by the sun ((bc he doesnt know it wont hurt him yet)) or feeling the crushing walls of a mindflayer pod crushing around him and then he breaks out, realizes the sun isn't hurting him, and sees Tav and freaks the hell out and attacks them because he's just Confused and Scared
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carmsgarms · 18 days
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I want to be part of the Astarion fandom in the way that I'm part of the Halsin fandom but it just seems so....massive.
The halsin/Dave Jones spaces are just so small and cozy. It feels like curling up with some tea on a rainy day and we're all just out here chilling.
The astarion fandom is intimidatingly huge. And I feel like everyone is younger than me 😅 I feel like the halsin fandom is consistently like 30+ with some folks in their late 20s
And I'm so behind on Neil's livestreams and playthroughs. Twitch and discord are so new to me.
Not to mention the in-fandom fighting about ascended astarion vs. spawn astarion 🫠 both are good and valid tbh
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wisemins · 3 months
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oh. by the way. I'm totally shipping with carm.y and Richie from The B.ear.
JUST THOUGHT I'D MENTION IT HERE
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caruliaa · 1 year
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”whats in the truck tigress” “wouldnt you like to know?” “yes i would thats why im asking” carm literally ilu
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asilentandkindersea · 2 months
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being bisexual is painful bc i can love any hot women on earth and i choose pathetic men that looks good between my thighs damn it
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worldhardtibbysoft · 1 year
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my brain is fighting for its life for which rotisserie chicken (interest/topic) to rotate (hyperfixate) in my brain
Fr Wally Darling, Paimon, and March 7th are brawling it out in my brain
I should draw that..........
but i have
🔥🔥🔥🎸HOMEWORK🎸🔥🔥🔥
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allowcase · 11 months
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finished the bear and i have a lot of thoughts i just don't know how to form those isn't complete thoughts however,,
i liked how season 1 ended in a way that didn't necessarily require a season 2 but left the option open (seeing as a lot of shows i mean A LOT don't get a second season, they were never guaranteed that and i wonder how the ending would've changed if they had known they'd get another season).
but season 2 slammed it's fist on the table and declared not only that it needed the second season it needs a third as well. you can see a shift in the writing from season 1 that felt timid it now feels confident and i think it's so fun watching a show evolve like that, and we're only on season 2 imagine the possibilities
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vuigardarling · 2 years
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girls getting their sauce <3
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itscomingupaces · 5 months
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Why is preparing answers for interview questions the worst
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eachmostremembering · 10 months
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like i have a lot of projects right now that are very romance-focused; there's the romance novel, the bear fic, the bear fic 2, the bear fic three, the bear fic 4, the a6 stuff i fuckin needed to finish two years ago, etc.
but like ngl the bear (and paterson) really got me renewed my belief in love again and that's great
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halsinsnaturepocket · 15 days
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I think my partner's egg is cracking 👀
Seriously I think my husband might be my wife, actually.
It's been a long-running theory of mine tbh
He always makes a comment about how 90% of the things he's into are also very Important to a lot of trans women (Evangelion, twin peaks, LoZ, to name just a few things)
He follows a lot of people on Twitter who end up being trans women and he tells me about every single one of them
The other day we were walking around target and I had to buy some clothes and some other fem maintenence stuff and he was commenting on how tedious it must be to transition mtf because not only do you have to deal with an annoying transition, everything is more expensive because the Pink Tax is very real
And last night he shaved his entire beard off (he's never done that before) and said it was hard to remove the stubble, I joked and said I could wax it for him and be said he honestly thought about it)
He's always kept his hair long (his hair is gorgeous and it's longer than mine is)
But when I asked him why he shaved his beard off he said "reasons." (Which usually means 'I have a reason and I'm not ready to talk about it yet.')
I'm kinda giddy with excitement but I'm also so so anxious. I've been telling him how cute he looks without the beard and I've been extra affectionate lately since he's been kinda depressed/distant.
My only concern is for his safety and mental health. Being a woman is hard and being a trans woman is so much harder. I just want to be supportive 😭
Part of me hopes I'm wrong, maybe hes just testing it out, transitions are a perilous journey and change is scary
but I've seen enough eggs cracking (literally almost all of my friends are trans/nb) to know the signs when I see them.
Anyway. Idk if I want advice. Maybe I do. Idk. I'm so anxious.
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carmsgarms · 8 days
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God my head is absolutely empty today I'm fully convinced if I hadn't been so focused on Silver's tux fic yesterday I might have actually just stared blankly at a wall for too long
Why am I so brain foggy I hate it here
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thebearer · 3 months
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love, i found you |carmen berzatto x reader|
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prompt: how anchovy berzatto came into your and carmen's lives. or the story of anchovy berzatto, dumpster kitten turned spoiled cat.
contains: mentions of animal being abandoned/ stray kitten. small, malnourished anchovy but nothing graphic (i won't do that to you i promise). mainly fluff. language. richie being a hater a little lol.
word count: 2.9k+
“Chefs, keep the stations clear-” 
“-Has anyone seen Richie?-” 
“-Jeff, I need more branzino for the seven fishes-” 
“-Heard, Tina. There, uh, I think there’s some-” 
“-Carm, have you seen the books for tonight?-” 
“-Has anyone seen Richie? Richie! Where the fuck is he?” 
A chaotic melody of screams meshed together in some kind of disarray of harmony, one speaking over the other, the sound of pots and pans clashing, hisses of sizzling food in them a backtrack to the madness. 
“I’m right here, Sugar.” Richie scoffed, buttoning the front of his jacket. He patted your shoulder in passing, cheek pressing lightly to yours, muttering, “How’re you, sweetheart? Doin’ good?” In passing. 
He was the first to notice you, even over Carmen. The rest of the staff bustling through the kitchen prep, trying to squeeze everything in before the family meal. Carmen had invited you to family, but you were starting to regret agreeing, feeling useless and in the way in the face of the hectic nature. 
“Where have you been?” Sugar huffed at Richie, heels clacking in a stomp towards the office. “I have a million fucking things- oh, hey.” She paused, eyes lighting in a greeting when they landed on you. 
“I didn’t know you were here. How are you?” Sugar hugged you, a soft side hug in greeting that you returned stiffly. 
“I’m good. How are you?” You muttered, eyes still scanning the kitchen. 
Sugar let out a dry laugh, pressing a hand to her forehead. “Ask me in about an hour.” She shook her head. “I have a million fucking things to do as I was telling Richie.” She turned, eyes narrowing pointedly at the man. “Only two dishwashers showed up tonight.” 
“You’re shitting me.” Richie groaned. “That fuckin’ jagoff- take a chance on me, bullshit.” 
“Yeah, so Neil needs to wash utensils tonight between the floor, ok?” Sugar jabbed a manicured nail into her clipboard. 
“Is there anything I can do?” You squeaked, much smaller than you meant it to. Richie and Sugar turned to you, both blinking, like they’d forgotten you were even there. “Carm invited me to family, but I can help. I can wash dishes if you need me too. I don’t have anything else to do.” 
“That would be-” Sugar nodded in a sigh, a small smile spreading across her face. “Did I ever tell you I love you? Seriously.” She turned to Carm, who was passing behind her. “Carm, don’t ever fuck this up with her, you hear me? I’ll kill you.” 
“Yeah, yeah.” Carmen muttered, and you knew by the drone in his voice he wasn’t listening, too consumed with other things, discarding vegetable scraps into the trash. 
“This thing is fuckin’ full. Can they not- Oh, hey.” Carmen’s features softened at the sight of you, spine straightening gently. “When’d you get here?” 
“Just a few minutes ago.” You leaned forward, his lips brushing your cheek softly in greeting. “I didn’t want to disrupt. You seemed… busy.” 
Carmen snorted. “Yeah, uh, that’s a word for it. Busy, out of my fuckin’ mind because this trash is fuckin’ full!” He boomed at no one in particular. 
“Now, I gotta take this out and replace it, and that puts us back, and every second counts, does it not, cousin?” Carmen rambled, glaring at Richie, yanking the sides of the trashcan off the rim. 
“Look, I didn’t know that the two didn’t show-” 
“-No, of course you didn’t. Can’t pay attention to shit-” 
“-Alright, let’s bring it down.” Sugar lifted her hands, eyeing Carmen with a slight nod of her head towards you. 
“Sorry.” Carmen muttered, eyes lifting to you. “Sorry, cousin. I-I’m just, we’re fuckin’ booked, an-and I’m so far behind-” 
“-I’ll take it.” You squeaked, a little too eagerly. Carmen’s brows furrowed, you cut him off before he could finish. “No, seriously, you’re all busy. I’ll go take this out and then I’ll help make sure the utensils are ready.” 
“N-No, I can’t ask you to do that. That would be shitty.” Carmen shook his head, pulling the trash bag out of the can. 
“Good thing you didn’t ask me. I offered.” Your hand wrapped over his, squeezing his closed fist gently with a tiny grin. “Go, I got it.” 
Carmen beamed, cheeks tinging pink. If he wouldn’t have been in the middle of the kitchen prep rush, he would’ve kissed you, pressed you right up against the wall and smooched you sloppy. Instead, he let you take the trash. 
“Gary!” Richie called behind you. “Make sure you let her back in, alright? Just knock and he’ll let you back in. You’re a fucking life saver, y’know that?” Richie beamed, pushing the heavy steel door open so you could duck under his arm. 
It was surprisingly warm- well, warm-ish for Chicago in the winter. No snow, no need for a heavy jacket but brisk enough for a chill. The dumpster lid was already flipped over, and you were thankful for that, slinging the bag over the edge, turning to go back inside. 
You stopped, halting just as you’d turned. The tiniest squeak of a cry, desperate and alert. You turned scanning the alley walls, the corners by the dumpster until you heard it again, that same pitiful whimper echoing off the metal of the dumpster- inside the dumpster. 
You hesitated for a moment. You couldn’t leave it, whatever it was, it sounded pathetic and in pain. Your eyes flickered back to the building, you could see Gary in the small window, head turned towards the others. They were so busy, you couldn’t ask Carmen or even Fak. 
“I’ll be right back.” You cooed towards the dumpster frantically. “Just hold tight for me, ok? I’ll get you out, one sec.” It was silly, but you felt the need to say it, even if just for yourself. 
Sprinting towards the door, you knocked on the glass rapidly. Gary pushed it open. “I need your help.” You stopped him before he could walk away. “J-Just for a second. I promise.” 
Gary’s brows furrowed. “Yeah, are you- you’re ok?” 
“Yeah, I mean,” You turned towards the dumpster. “There’s something in there. I think it’s a cat? I think it’s hurt.” 
“A cat?” Gary’s eyes widened, still, he followed your furious pace towards the dumpster. “Wait, I-I don’t think- Lemme get Carm-” 
“-No, he’s busy.” You shook your head. “It will just take me a second. I just need you to help me get down.” 
Gary paused, watching you in complete awe- maybe horror- push off a discarded crate towards the ledge of the dumpster. “This is- no, this is fuckin’ crazy, I’m sorry. You don’t know what that thing has-” 
Your small gasp cut him off, eyes rounding in awe. There in the piles of trash, a fuzzy blip of orange fur nestled into the black bags- a tiny, scraggly kitten, mewling helplessly. 
“Oh my God,” You muttered. “It’s a baby.” 
“A baby?” Gary gawked. 
“A kitten baby.” You corrected, lip jutting. “I have to get it.” 
“I really don’t think you should be doin’ this.” Gary looked back at the door then to you. “You can’t go in the dumpster, c’mon.” 
“You want to go in instead?” You huffed, eyes rolling at his disgusted snarl. “Just- I’ll do it.” You leaned to the side, taking a deep breath of fresh air, swallowing down a gag at the expected smell. 
Holding your breath, you let yourself fall into the dumpster, the squishy bags of trash uneasy under your feet. The small kitten whined, crying at the shift of your weight. 
“This is fuckin’ insane.” Gary muttered, shaking his head. 
“Aye, Sweeps, what the fuck?” Richie’s voice boomed, the slam of the door making both of you jump. “Take your smoke break later, you jagoff, I need your-” 
“-I’m not-” Gary huffed in annoyance. “She’s in the dumpster.” 
“Who?” Richie asked. 
“Me!” You swallowed a retch, the pungent stench of the trash filling your senses as you crouched closer towards the kitten. At least it wasn’t summer. 
“Why the fuck is Carmen’s girl in the dumpster?” Richie roared. “Carmen! Get out here now, cousin!” 
“Why is she in the dumpster? Why the fuck are you in the dumpster?” Richie’s furious stomps were muted from the outside. You cringed, still trying to hold your breath, coaxing the small kitten into your hold. 
The poor thing, so small- so fucking small. Shaking in your hold, crying and whining, but turned into the warmth of your palm. A cry bubbled from your chest, mixing with a gag at the smell. 
“Cousin, what? What the fuck is-” Carmen bounded outside, stopping when he saw the top of your head pop up, out of the dumpster. “The fuck?” 
“Your girl’s in the garbage.” Richie shook his head. 
“Yeah, why the fuck- Baby, w-why are you- What are you doin’?” Carmen jogged towards you, hoisting himself over the side of the dumpster, arm extended for you. 
“She found a cat.” Gary rolled his eyes in annoyance. 
“A cat?” Richie repeated. 
“A kitten.” You showed Carmen, pulling the small thing from your chest, where you cradled him close to you. 
Carmen blinked at you. “You went in the dumpster f-for a cat? A cat?” He shook his head, confused. “Baby, that thing could have diseases a-and rabies and shit-” 
“-He’s starving.” You countered, lip jutting in a firm pout. Carmen hated the way he could feel himself melting. The determination in your glare, ferocious yet soft. 
“I could hear him crying, a-and I couldn’t leave him.” You shook your head, petting the tiny kitten’s soft fur. 
“So you climbed in the trash?” Richie snarled in disgust. 
“Climbed right in the dumpster.” Gary nodded. 
“Alright.” Carmen looked over his shoulder at them, a pointed glare on his face. “Just- Lemme get you outta there, alright?” 
“Here,” You handed him the small cat, carefully cradling him. Carmen hesitated, a grimace in his scowl. Your eyes narrowed at him, a warning. “Hold him gently.” 
So he did, of course he did, it’s what you wanted. Passing him to Richie with the same snarl of instructions, pulling you out of the dumpster, a firm hold on your waist as you climbed back over. 
Richie was passing you the kitten with a grimace of disgust, dusting his hands off dramatically. “There. There’s your garbage cat that can not come back in the restaurant. Cousin,” He glared at Carmen. “We don’t want another fuckin’ C. Get shut down for havin’ fleas or shit.” 
Carmen glared at him. “No, he’s right.” You nodded. “Can you bring me my purse? I’m going to see if I can get him checked out. I’ll be back.” 
“Let me come with you.” Carmen offered, motioning for Gary to go get your things, untying his blue apron. 
“Carm, no. You’re busy. I can do it.” You shook your head. 
Carmen rolled his eyes. “No, I’m comin’ with you. Last time I let you do somethin’ alone. End up in the fuckin’ garbage.” He snorted playfully. “Besides, I think there’s a place down the street. The vet has been in a few times. I’ll see if I can, y’know, coerce him to squeeze us in.” 
“Coerce?” You lifted your brows playfully, petting the tiny kitten gently, trying to still his quivering. 
“Yeah, coerce.” Carmen rolled his eyes, swapping his apron out for his jacket, handing you yours. “Give ‘im a free dinner or somethin’.” 
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“No fuckin’ way, no.” Richie shook his head. “Cousin, you’re already late- Sydney is pissed, and you’re not bringing that fuckin’ flea bag in here.” 
You held the small cat close to your chest, still damp from his bath at the vet. Carmen’s coercing had worked, Dr. Vallenti had took the bribe happily, squeezing you both in for a check up. The tiny kitten, barely two pounds, malnourished and positively pitiful. You didn’t even have to ask, Carmen knew from the way you held him close to your chest, eyes rounding just barely when the vet asked if you’d be keeping him. 
“Of course,” Carmen nodded easily, squeezing your knee gently. “Just give him whatever he needs for right now, and what we need t’get. We’ll get it.” 
“He doesn’t have fleas, Richie.” You sneered, cradling the small cat in your jacket to keep him warm. His shake was down to a soft tremble, not as constant but still there. 
“Yeah fuckin’ right, rabies then-” 
“-Cousin.” Carmen sneered. Richie stopped with a huff, throwing his arms up and muttering something as he stormed away. 
“Here,” Carmen muttered, a hand on the small of your spine, pushing you into his office. “I’ll grab you a bowl and a plate for his food, alright? You just, just stay in here, ok? Richie’s right, he can’t be out.” 
“I’ll keep him in here.” You nodded, sitting in the small chair. “Do you have a towel?” 
“Yeah, I’ll grab that too.” Carmen slung his jacket off, running a hand through his messy curls. “I, uh, I gotta get scrubbed up and put my stuff on, but if you need anything just yell, alright?” He ducked out to the small closet, snatching a towel and two dishes off the drying rack. 
“I’ll be alright.” You hummed, fingertip tracing down the kitten’s tiny head. He purred under your touch, made your chest burst with warmth. 
Carmen’s lips pulled in a smile, putting the dishes on the ground for you, shedding his own shirt. You were entirely enamored with the cat, that was for sure, not even a sideways, ogling glance at Carmen’s shirtless figure. 
“Shit.” Your head snapped up, wide eyed at Carmen. “I forgot the dishes. I-I’m so sorry, I can-” 
“-It’s alright, baby.” Carmen dropped his pants, biting back a smirk at how your eyes did drop this time. “Tina got her son and his friend to come in. We’re good, baby.” 
“Oh.” You nodded, eyes lingering on his boxer clad ass, before back to the kitten. “Good.” 
Carmen shrugged on his chef’s coat, walking over to you. “It’ll be kinda a late night.” His eyes softened in apology. “I’ll have someone run you a plate when we get outta the weeds, alright?” 
“Thank you.” You muttered, head tilting back for a kiss. Carmen obliged, your lips pulling him in for a longer kiss than he expected, sweet- left his body burning with heat. “Thank you.” You repeated, eyes shining sweetly. 
“C’mon.” Carmen whispered gently, shaking his head at you. “You know I would do anythin’.” He pressed a kiss to your head, looking down at the small kitten before he left. 
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“I think he likes it?” You whispered, on your stomach next to Carmen. 
It was nearly two in the morning, the two of you just returning back to the brownstone you called home. Lying on the freshly laid tile of the kitchen, you watched the small cat explore the space. 
“Yeah, think he’s gettin’ used to it.” Carmen muttered, shaking the small stick so the feather danced over the kitten, grinning when he’d scrunch and bat at it clumsily. 
You pressed your head into your hand, watching the kitten prowl, ears finally perked up instead of flat back in fear. “We have to name him.” You blinked, looking up at Carmen. 
“Yeah,” Carmen grinned. “Yeah, that-that would be a good idea, right?” He beamed playfully. 
You smiled, gently petting the kitten’s back, smiling at how he arched into your touch. “I think it should be something kinda with the restaurant.” You suggested. “Since that’s where we found him.” 
“Yeah? Like Bear?” Carmen muttered. 
Your nose crinkled gently. “He doesn’t really look like a Bear.” 
“No,” Carmen agreed, shaking his head. “More like a Garfield.” 
You snorted lightly, rolling your eyes. “That’s such a gimme name.” You shook your head. “Maybe not the restaurant, exactly, but… similar?” 
“Yeah? Like Trash Can?” Carmen muttered, lips curling playfully. 
You gasped lightly, smacking his leg playfully. “No.” You huffed. “Something maybe with food?” 
“Carrot?” 
“No.” You pouted lightly, head tilting towards the small cat, occupied with Carmen’s sweatpant strings. “What about, like, Anchovy?” 
“Anchovy?” Carmen snorted in amusement softly. 
“Yeah, like the fish.” You shrugged softly. “And cats eat fish- well, in the cartoons they do, y’know?” 
“Yeah, I know, baby.” Carmen grinned softly down at you. “You think he looks like an Anchovy?” 
The small kitten turned, perking towards Carmen, padding happily over to him. Your face lit, glowing with beaming pride and adoration as Carmen scooped up the small kitten, let him rub his face into his chest sleepily- sweetly. You thought you might melt into a puddle on the floor at the sight. 
“Alright.” Carmen laughed lightly. “Think you’re right. Think he’s an Anchovy.” 
“Anchovy Berzatto.” You hummed, crawling between Carmen’s spread legs, petting the tiny cat. You smiled so brightly at Carmen, his own cheeks burned, flaming under your radiant affection. 
Your lips caught him again, pulling him in for a sweet, longing kiss over the small kitten’s head. Your hands in Carmen’s hair, pulling him closer and closer, kissing him like a lifeline- it made his head swim, chest swell with adoration. 
Anchovy chirped, teetering on a meow and yawn, little paw stretching in Carmen’s hold. Your forehead pressed to Carmen's, you ducked down to coo at the small kitten, moving to sit in between Carmen’s legs, your back to his chest. 
Home with your little family, complete with the little kitten, Anchovy Berzatto.
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i found an evil carmen scp MAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH once i get in an edity mood im sooooo going to make evil carm edits
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caruliaa · 1 year
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carmen failing the exam :(( gray saying it doenst matter bc shes the best pickocket in their class nd in a leauge of her own :(( thats her big brother and he ends up being awful and demanding she come back to do what she knows is wrong w ppl whove hurt her :(( and then he forgets her :((
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onleurafaitcroire · 2 months
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thinking about carmy + picky eater gf a/n: i wrote this stoned bc i hate fish and i also did not edit it plz enjoy <3
he'd try to surprise her one night early on in dating by making some fancy kingfish thing on a night they're supposed to just hang out at his place, and when she walks into his apartment, she is immediately appalled by the smell of the cooking fish. she's a sweetie though so she's going to try, just for carmy, because he's sweating and the kitchen is kind of an organized mess so she knows he must have gone to a lot of trouble.
he greets her with a kiss and goes to change, leaving her to freak out about how the fuck she's supposed to fake liking seafood of all fucking things.
once carmy's plated everything and brought it out, he looks so proud of himself and so hopeful that her tentative plans to tell him she really, really cannot do seafood crash and burn in front of her, and she decides that she's just gonna have to suck it up and eat the fish. she puts a bite in her mouth, chews, swallows, and immediately gulps down a bunch of her wine to get the taste out of her mouth. of course carmy notices - he's been staring at her, actually, so eager to know if she likes his cooking - and his face immediately falls.
"you hate it." it's a statement, not a question.
her eyes widen. "no, what? no! no, it's so good, the sauce - it's delicious, carm, for real," and they're both mildly frantic now. she's taking another huge bite that makes her eyes water from how much she does not like the taste of the fish, and carmy is leaning back in his chair, looking sort of...despondent. yeah, that's the word.
"is it...i mean, seriously, you don't have to pretend to like it. if it sucks it sucks. i knew i should've done a glaze instead of the cream sauce..." now carmy's muttering to himself about the recipe, taking his own bite and frowning. "i mean, it's not that bad, is it?"
"carm, it's not bad at all, i promise, i just - i guess i never told you that i don't really...like seafood," she says, standing up to walk around the table and stand next to him, cupping his face in her palms. "the sauce is so good and i'm sure the fish is cooked perfectly, i just...i really...i hate seafood, carmen, i'm sorry, i should've told you, but i just didn't know you'd go to all this trouble, i thought it was going to be kind of a chill night and i'm just really sorry." she knows she's rambling but she can hardly get herself to stop.
carmy swings his chair forward, the front legs hitting the hardwood with a thump. "you don't like seafood? like any seafood?"
she shakes her head. "i'm sorry."
there's a pause where she thinks he might yell. then he tips his head back, out of her grip, and belly laughs. he laughs for a solid minute or two, hysterical laughter that starts to worry her after the fifteen second mark. "carm, i'm sorry, i'll make it up to you, i'll pay you back for the fish and stuff -"
that stops him cold. "okay, no," he scoffs. "i'm gonna make you some pastina or some other shit you'll actually eat and we're gonna watch the new episode of bach you kept texting me about and we're gonna have a nice night, okay? pay me back for the fish," he mutters the end under his breath, "as fuckin' if."
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