AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time
Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop
! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.
Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.
Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.
Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.
Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.
It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?
What are these acronyms?
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hi i am cal, they & them, and this is my second attempt at an introduction because my first one was not doing it for me. i'm currently attempting to get back into writing, and maybe make some friends along the way. please send me wips, asks, tag games, messages, prompts, anything. interaction is difficult so some direction would be helpful.
my aim is to finish a few short stories before i move onto anything bigger, which is what i will mostly be talking about on here for now. there is the possibility of the occasional unrelated drabble and fanfiction. books rants will also be here, as they are tangentially related, and i'm open to discussing books and giving or receiving recs.
my tastes are quite flexible so i am almost guaranteed to enjoy any wip sent, although i adore horror, fantasy, found family and stories surrounding moral ambiguity. anything along those lines is enough to get me invested, and i typically write about them often. queer characters are also a large focus in my works, especially those who are on the aro/ace spectrums and use neutral pronouns, which is really just me crying for representation and diversity in that rep. supernatural and inhuman characters are often my protagonists, mostly because i think they look cool and create a lot of interesting dynamics.
oh and i have a website. most writing will be posted there, including completed wips.
( A SHRIKE TO A SHARP AND GLORIOUS THORN ) — the story of a hunted witch and a forgotten god, and the death that binds them. to separate would be their end, but they may find it in each other regardless. an unhealthy and obsessive romance, horror themes, fantasy setting.
( IN THE ABSENCE OF MYTH ) — a soul finding its place, a world healing after a war. cosy fantasy, found family.
( CAL WRITES SOMETHING ) — any form of writing.
( WIP ) — a master page for a wip. they will also have their own specific tags for connected posts.
( OC ) — a character profile. they may also have their own tag if i post about them often.
( FANFICTION ) — fanfiction, what it says on the tin.
( OTHER WRITERS ) — reblogged introductions and wips.
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The slur topic is a bit weird tbh, not because people are annoyed about certain terms sounding like or being alike, but because it forgets that certain slurs are particular to a specific place, and not everyone is going to know or even care to research because it has no relevance to them, or is even something that pertains to their social experience.
Expecting everyone to adhere to specific rule of not using what is a "slur" in one place probably won't work, because of how different the understanding of language and personal social politics are. If a term has absolutely zero relevance where you live, and it's already tied to a different meaning a/b/o as a term for omegaverse, how should they ever connect the dots, or care to find out that someone from a different culture also uses that words as a slur? Why is a completely unrelated person suddenly guilty of the insults and slurs perpetuated by people of a different culture?
And even just the awareness of it or the mind of it. Will people who ask this also respect not using slurs and terms of insults from other cultures? Or is this a thing only expected of people when it comes to anglospheric racially/sexuality/indentity charged insults and slurs?
How many people think "colored" is an insult or a slur?
In South Africa it's a description for, I quote "multiracial ethnic communities".
The other name for the makrut lime, "kefir/kafir/kaffir/cafri" is considered a racial slur against black people in South Africa, yet it's still readily and openly used in recipes, videos, food guides. It also originated in Islam and was used against non-believers.
Oriental has a big negative history in the West, and is considered a negative term, and degrading. Yet you can easily find a lot of Asian stores that use that specific term or tag to refer to items produced and sold in the global market.
I think a big one is also for other Spanish speakers that the word "negro" for the color black is constantly being pointed at as a slur by people not speaking Spanish, but as a Spanish speaker myself it's literally just a color. Crayola could sing a song about the misunderstandings about their multi lingual labelling of their crayons.
I remember a person from the West having a giant tantrum about an online stores url, "BiginJap" ranting about the fact that the "Jap" part, even though the store using it Big in Japan, is a literal japanese store, from Japan, selling Japanese products.
Gypsie is considered a slur across a lot of Europe, if not most of it, I still see people argue that because "it's fine here in the US" they don't have to care about it and can just use it, even if they're not part of that group. Who's in the right here? The Roma and Sinti people or Europe? Or the people using the term in the US?
I am not saying you can't criticize the use of these words, but I'm saying that to in a way or some form to consider the intent when they're used. To assume the worst, especially when the person does not share your culture, language, or awareness of your culture shows a degree of ignorance and personal cultural-centrism that just won't work on a global scale. You can say "this is a slur where I am" but whatever that means to anyone not part of your culture, is up to them by the end of the day, especially when it's meaning can wary so much.
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No, in general, nobody expects anyone to care about anything to do with Australia. That's partly why people are irritated about this one: the difference between what everyone is expected to know about the US vs. Australia.
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AHHHH I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I SEND YOU TOO MANY ASKSMHFJGXJC BUT ANYWAYS- the greatest of luxuries takes place around 2018, right? Which is also coincidentally around the time tiktok got popular so just like hear me out-
Nico is a chronic tiktok user and definitely makes tiktok dances (he was supposed to use it for promotional purposes and it's not until Apollo asks him about it that he actually does)
Nico and Will are those tiktok friends, the kind that you see videos of and it just looks like they came straight out of a coming of age movie- same goes for whenever Leo is featured in Nico's tiktoks like they are so iconic
Apollo definitely gets tiktok for the shits and giggles, only to go accidentally viral constantly- like he could make one silly random tiktok of freaking alley cat he found and it'd get like 50 million likes 😭😭 (bros tiktok account consists of his children and their silly friends)
ANYWAYS HAVE A GOOD DAY 🫶🫶🫶🫶
NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR TOO MANY ASKS I LITERALLY LIVE FOR THEM LIKE YES PLEASE ASK ME A MILLIION QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS AU THAT CONSUMES MY ENTIRE LIFELKSDF
and you are RIGHT OHMYGODSKLJF i keep thinking of a way to incorporate it bc rn they're in 2019, but i'm like, ahgsdf how do i bring in tiktok, do i make it a whole convo or just casually mention it orrrr
i do have quite a few tiktok headcanons in relation to them but i LOVE your ideas they're so real😭
these are the hc's that i had before reading this but tbh might have to go back to the drawing board on some of them becauseee i mean
(also i deleted tiktok a while back bc it was too addictive so tbh i have no idea what's going on over there anymore... nor was i there in the early daysSDLKF)
nico already strays away from social media quite a bit, and i think over the music industry changed, it's def encouraged for artists to like promote their music there and stuff. BUT. he has a bit of an addictive personality (relatable) and so when he eventually downloads it (because he would resist for a very long time) would get hooked. except he rarely posts, instead, he's that verified celeb account that you find in the most random comment sections and he spams all his friends with vids. he definitely gets a lot of pet videos i feel like, like the cute dogs and cats and he would send a vid of like yk YK WHAT VIDS IM TALKING ABOUT like two cats snuggling with each other or smth and send it to will with 'us' i just KNOW he would bc it's incredibly sappy but doesnt require too much descriptionsfkljs
he probably has 235829348 drafts and he mostly posts random stuff that's completely unrelated to his music. like i bet there would be a few people (when he occasionally says something related to his job) who didn't even know he released music despite definitely having heard it
i didn't really envision him doing tiktok dances eXCEPT maybe they all stay in his drafts. bc i dont think his vids would really be focused on *him* because he's not a huge fan of being on camera, so it'd more just be like those rants where you can only see his forehead or random studio vids oR TRAVEL VIDS WHILE ON TOUR. he would def do those. there's def some people who think he's a travel influencer and then find out he's a grammy award winning artist and are like ??? NICO?? FROM TIKTOK???
but he isn't called a "tiktok artist" despite some people knowing him from tiktok because he literally ALWAYS forgets to promote his own music in his vids. his fans are promoting it in the comment sections to try and get the people who think he's a travel influencer to listen to him😭
but his posting schedule is so very sporatic like he'll post ten vids in a day and then nothing for a month. it's fully based on vibes and is completely chaotic, just like everything else he does
will, like any other social media platform, has a private account. (nico also has a private spam) so will is that person who tags people in the comments like all the time (whereas nico sends it more often just bc he doesnt wanna risk being on the wrong account accidentally)
he appears a LOT on leo and lou ellen and cecil's tiktoks (and nico's) and every other week there's a huge internet search to find out who this guy is on a new famous person's tiktok account and then someone will be like "it's just will solace again HOW THE FUCK DOES HE ALWAYS FIND THESE PEOPLE"
like when he randomly shows up in taylor swift's getting ready for her nyu graduation post. like he's definitely there for a brief second in just like the reflection of a window or something and everyone goes CRAZY
before realizing it's this cryptid guy again who seems to be surrounded by every famous person to exist
he definitely posts a lot on his private account though and often it'll just be him rambling about something he's learned in class or him documenting every time he sees a cute animal in public
eventually he'll be dared to make a public account and he decides "haha that's funny okay sure it's not like anyone will find me"
WRONG. this guy is allergic to being not-famous. he will never be allowed to be a normal guy. his first video goes completely viral. he posts once in a blue moon, usually documenting his friends being crazy and every single time he does, it gets like a million views with people in his comments being "how does he know them???"
but you are DEFINITELY right about his account always seeming like it comes out of a coming of age story
and there are most definitely thousands of shippers in every single comment section with literally every friend. so he tries to have at least two other people in every single video so that people can't ship him with just one other person. but it's unavoidable. esp when he comes out as bi, people are just shipping him with ANYONE who shows up on his account
he also does those screaming lipsync vids to whenever a song by one of his favorite songs comes out he's a huge fanboy
OH and he gets to show off his vinyls there. he loves doing that. he's got so many and vinyl tiktok admires it.
also in every single video there's at least one comment that says "you look like apollo the singer"
EVERY SINGLE ONE
leo's the most active on tiktok, as he is with every other social media
it's either him building something, him setting something on fire, him with his friends, him talking to the camera while walking down the street (you know the genre of tiktok)
he is very similar to will in the aspect of "HOW DOES HE KNOW THEM??" but he's been a bit more public than will so people will know him more
he doesn't go viral as often as will (despite posting 132532x as much) but when he DOES it goes VIRAL viral. like tens of millions of views. it still happens quite often and he has the highest follower count of the friendgroup
and he's also the most active in comment sections like he's in every comment section you can't escape him and he replies to like every single one on his vids, usually with very cryptic responses that leave you with more questions than you started with
he ALSO tags will and nico in a bunch of videos, but not in a private account. he doesn't have a private account. he just tags them (obviously, avoiding any romance-related / stuff that could out them, in which he would send it to them) in EVERYTHING
and that's also the highest chance you have of will (on his public account) commenting on a video bc he's mostly on his priv
he also (when him and jason eventually come out) makes a million couple tiktoks and does all the trends
most recurring character in his vids are piper (and shel) (and will and nico over the summer when they're not so far apart)
apollo runs the account for delphi records
i know i haven't shared much of this BUT most people 100% assume that it's run by some intern or something bc of how casual it is but it's actually just him
he loves comment sections and hyping up all of his artists
oh BTW leo and will and apollo do all the promotion for nico because of how much he forgets about it
it's very common for nico to be posting a random ass video and then the top comment is Delphi Records ✓ Check out Nico's latest single, ______!
he also EVENTUALLY gets a tiktok for himself
that is just entirely his kids
as he should
aside from leo, i think kayla and piper are most active on tiktok
piper knows all the inner fandom details from shel (who has an editing account 100% bc i have an editing account and im projecting onto her)
piper's vids are mostly with leo they're such an iconic duo
idk why but all i can think of when thinking about piper is that her feed is like momona tamada?? like that's the vibe we're going for here
and ofc she promotes charities and other important topics there too!!!
and if there's a wlw trend going around yk that piper and shel are going to be on that first thing, probably the top video under whatever audio it is
and KAYLA. GOD. KAYLA'S TIKTOK IS SOOO ICONIC i think she's second to leo with most followers
the lip sync videos for sure, also out of all of them i think she'd def do tiktok dances she'd slay them all
and then some of them are just trends or her in the archery range
somewhat similarly to will, she often gets comments that say "how does she know them??"
but like a good 30% of people watching the archery events of the olympics are there just because of her tiktokSDLFKJS
she also happens to go viral. all. the fucking. time. like i swear apollo's kids just HAVE to go viral all the time they can't escape it they're made for fame and it's likeee kayla does love it (will not so muchKSDF and austin has avoided this problem by just not downloading tiktok at all! except apollo's video of him performing has gone viral. oh well.)
so those are my hc's feel free to add on to these!!! i would love to hear what y'all think bc AHGSDFL writing about these characters' social media is one of my favvv things to do - thank you for the ask!!!! sorry for the lengthy rambleKSDJF
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