#content in her arms. so by definition they can never be happy together. sux for angel but i dont want that for buffy

[bloomfish]

so I like the concept of the cookie dough speech. I think, independently, it's a good conclusion for buffy to come to by the end of the series. However, the context... look, it's been pretty thoroughly established throughout the series that buffy and angel will never work. can never work. is it a great romance, does it make me feel for the characters, do i love the angst of it? yes absolutely. but why am I being told, despite being shown the opposite, that there's a chance in hell that buffy will end up with angel? why am I being told continually by the writing across both shows that a codependent teen romance between two people who like... barely know each other is what buffy should aspire to? for the rest of her life?

this insistence is such a detriment to the characters of both buffy and angel. each grew so much on their respective shows. i love both buffy and angel as characters. I love what their relationship means for their past and how it informs their characters moving forward. but god, just leave it there. framing buffy/angel as the truest love that will ever be, automatically eclipsing any other relationship either of them try to have, is honestly not great messaging. personally i will always be affected in some way by my first love, I think that's a normal, relatable experience. But there's no way that love is a viable part of my future, and it wouldn't be healthy for me to think so...

it also takes away from the meaning that people like spike and cordelia might have in their lives because whatever they do, however they grow to love each other, they'll always be 'consolation prize' to... what? buffy's high school relationship with an older guy? no thx

#like honestly why would she give angel the hope. what can they possibly expect to have in the future #thats what makes it such a good and angsty relationship! #it was established in iwry that it would not work if angel was human. cool. so their only option is sexless codependent angst #at constant risk of angel losing his soul at any time. bc it wasnt sex it was HAPPINESS. angel lost his soul post sex because he was happy #content in her arms. so by definition they can never be happy together. sux for angel but i dont want that for buffy #anyway #spuffy #anti bangel #again just in case. wild to love a ship so much but also b against it happening. im complex like that #btvs #btvs thoughts #like the only way for it to happen would be for angel to lose his soul and then fight for his soul the way spike did. #which soulless angel would never do. its impossible by design

[parkjmini]

history | pjm

➳ park jimin scenario 

you didn't come to see your friends, I know you came for me. I like your dress, but you fit better in my wrinkled tee. We moved on to newer things, but we got history

➳ word count: 2156

➳ genre: angst/fluff ig 

a/n: hey yall, ik ive been pretty MIA. im trying my best to find time to stay active. college rlly sux, but this is based off of the song, history by rich brian, it’s a really good ass song and it reminded me a lot of jimin. and i had this in my drafts ever since October so im glad i was able to finish it on my birthday and to release it as a birthday present for myself and everyone else that i finally released some content. 

+

You were more than an ex-girlfriend to Jimin. You were his whole world for a brief moment of his life. If anyone were to value you anything less, he would not hesitant to defend you. You and Jimin dated in sophomore year of high school, almost being destined as high school sweethearts, almost. 

Long distance had become strenuous for the both of you, mainly you. Jimin didn’t stray far from your hometown, but you had traveled miles away. It wasn’t until your second year of college when things were becoming clear that you two were not working out. 

Phone calls slowly became a hassle. You never really came back home for the holidays, so Jimin saw you a lot less. It was simply two separate lives and no matter how much Jimin wanted to stay together, the relationship had been taking a toll on you. 

Jimin was definitely more emotionally stable than you were. He didn’t have to move far from home for college, so his support system was still close. His best friends, Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook went to the same college as him. He didn’t need you as much as you needed him, physically. 

You were thousands of miles away from your family and friends. You went to the college of your dreams, but you had to start over. So being in an old relationship in the next chapter of your life was hard. You were meeting new people every week your first quarter in school, but every happy face felt fake. There was no familiarity and the loneliness ate you up by the end of your second quarter.

Seeing Jimin through your screen only made you miss him more. Hearing his voicemails made you cry harder. You’d always think you’d adjust, eventually, but you never did. And admitting all that pain to Jimin was the hardest thing you had to do. 

The breakup was not bad, but it also was not the best. You knew you couldn’t stay friends with Jimin, because you were still madly in love with this man and so was he. To move on, you had to avoid any contact with him and that didn’t sit well with him. He was too stubborn to move on. He kept telling you that he’d wait for when you’d come back for him. 

Those were not the words you wanted to hear. Jimin respected your decision to break up, but it was his own to decide whether or not to move on. Frankly, you thought he’d give up on you the moment the second quarter started. It was college, and you were never the one to hold him back from having fun and going to parties. The boys went to parties practically every weekend, some were for the sake of meeting new people to hook up with.

As much as his friends did those things, Jimin remained incredibly loyal to you. No other girl could compare to his girlfriend and if someone were to make a move on him, he’d stop it immediately. He’d text you when he got back to his dorm after every party, drunk or sober (most of the times, he was drunk). He didn’t hesitate to brag about his wonderful girlfriend to his entire hall. Jimin was all about you, it had always been like that for him. 

So it was no surprise when he reacted the way he did during the breakup. Jimin swore that he’d come back for you one day. You meant everything to him and he knew you like the back of his hand; he knew you better than yourself. You two had a history that no one else had.

+

Jimin was coming down for the long weekend with the boys for a close friend’s weekend long birthday extravaganza. It had been six months since you two last spoke, but the mention of your college caused his heart to shake. 

“I highly doubt we’d see her at the party. Namjoon told me that he has never bumped into (y/n).” Hoseok waved off Jimin’s nerves before Namjoon greeted the boys with open arms and a big grin.

“My favorites, I’m glad you were all able to make it down here for my big birthday bash.” He wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s broad shoulders and bumped at Jimin’s arm, “lighten up. You won’t see her here tonight.” 

“And what makes you so sure about that?” 

Namjoon shrugged nonchalantly, “you’ll be too drunk to register her face if she does show up.”

His statement earned several laughs from the boys, but Jimin could only roll his eyes. He really debated on simply going home and skipping this weekend trip because now, he was too close for comfort. He was on your territory and he wasn’t sure what to do if he saw you again. 

Six months was not enough time for Jimin to fully move on. He slept around with a few girls, but you were always in the back of his mind. Whenever he closed his eyes, your sweet smile would flash in the darkness. He would have reoccurring dreams about your shared memories. He’d hate to admit it, but he really missed you. 

But your words rang in his ears whenever he would selfishly indulged in your past, “I don’t want to see you for a very long time, Jimin. I just won’t be able to do it. I won’t be able to move on if we stayed friends.” He wanted to uphold your wishes because you still meant so much to him, it was the least he could do. 

Jimin entered Namjoon’s huge house, the scent of alcohol and weed filling his system and music traveling through his pulse. There were occasionally greetings from a few mutuals and smiles from pretty girls, but Jimin went through the house without much defeat.

Jungkook was lost in the crowd after passing by a group of girls. Namjoon was bombarded with hugs and birthday wishes. Jimin headed towards the standing bottles of alcohol, pouring himself a cup full of something dark. He sipped his drink, scanning the house as he leaned against the kitchen island. 

He finished his drink with impressive speed, not entirely aware of the rate he was consuming. The moment he turned around to pour himself another cup, a voice caused him to freeze. “Can you also pour me one?” 

He had thought the alcohol was tricking him into believing the voice belonged to you, but when he turned around... he knew it wasn’t the alcohol messing with him. “(y/n).”

You blinked back at his stunned figure, equally as shocked. He admired how good you looked. He had to stifle in a laugh at your revealing, black dress. It hung loose around your shoulders and wrapped around your middle --- the dress he bought you for your guys’ 2nd anniversary. 

He wasn’t sure what to believe at this point --- the fact that you’re actually standing in front of him after such an extensive time or the fact that you still wore the things he bought you. 

“What are you doing here?” Your voice was just above a whisper and your hand automatically went to twirl the necklace around your neck. It had a small pendant of the first letter of your name and your fingers instinctively went towards it whenever you got nervous. 

Jimin set down his drink, “I’m close friends with Namjoon.”

“No way. My friend has the same writing class as him.” You tried to act normal, like you didn’t bump into your ex-boyfriend at a party. He looked exactly like how you left him, maybe a bit more tired and gray. Oh how you missed his soft, plump lips or how strong his arms felt. 

As much as you wanted to forget about him, he always resurfaced in your mind at the strangest times. You could be studying and he’d pop up. You’d be clubbing with your friends and you’d think he was across the room. You still held onto him. 

“It was good seeing you again, (y/n).” Jimin said before he handed you a cup of your favorite mix. 

“Wait---” The words were flowing out of your mouth before you could catch them. “---Do you want to dance?” You couldn’t see him go anymore.

His eyes lit up and he smiled, something that always ran chills down your spine. “You want to dance with me?”

“Why not?” You smiled back and finished your cup before hitting the crowds of drunk, dancing people. You had gotten really close to Jimin, to the point where your chest was against his. 

You could tell he was holding back, like he was trying so hard to respect your space still. But you blinked back up at his sad eyes, and noticed they were filled with love and wonder. And almost every memory you two shared came crushing down, wrapping you in nostalgia. 

Grabbing his hands, you let them rest on your waist and his eyes widen at your bold action. Maybe it was the alcohol doing all the work, but you really wish he’d stop holding back. You always remembered Jimin to have huge restraint and patient. He was strong willed --- stubborn --- and was reserved. But once his boundaries were gone, he was something amazing. 

“Why are you holding back, Jimin?” You asked before you could process the question. An evident pout appeared on your face and his hands dropped from your body.

“I can’t, (Y/N). I refuse to give you all of me just for you to hurt me again.” He whispered and walked off the dance floor. That was one of the biggest blows you’ve ever felt. You hurried on after him, trying to find a needle in a hay stack. 

It was difficult, everyone blended with one another and you weren’t fully sober to play Where’s Jimin. You spotted a frantic Jungkook being mauled by girls left and right, so you hurried toward the crowd. You grabbed Jungkook by his collar and dragged him out of the sea of desperate girls. 

You two stood outside of the house and Jungkook took several deep breaths before thanking you for saving him, “now, what do you want?” 

“Where did Jimin go?” 

“Why do you care where he went?” He said leaning against the stature of the overflowing building. The stern look on his face caused much intimidation and it was as if he had forgotten all the great memories you two had shared as friends. 

Sighing, you racked your brain for any reasonable explanation besides that you want to see him. It was selfish of you to not consider how Jimin still felt about you, but you had been restraining yourself from viewing his social medias and even thinking about him at night. It was as if something went off when you did see him, you simply wanted more. 

“Because I want to apologize to him for what had just happened. Please.” You were on the verge of tears and Jungkook rolled his eyes. 

“Follow me.” He grumbled and started walking up the stairs to the second floor. He walked past several doors in the hallway before reaching the end. He knocked a specific pattern and the door cracked open slightly. Jungkook gestured for you to enter and whispered, “don’t hurt him anymore. That is all I ask of you.” Jungkook walked away as you entered the big room. 

Jimin sat on the edge of the neatly made bed, back facing you. “Whatever it is, Kook, I don’t want to hear it right now.” His voice was hoarse and raspy.

“Jimin, I’m sorry for pushing you out there like that.” 

His body turned stiff, like a thief caught in a crime. He cleared his throat, “it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine. I was never considerate to how you felt, and I want to change that.” The bed shifted with you weight pulling the mattress. Jimin’s warmth surround your left side and it hurt for you to remember how safe you felt in it. 

He was hesitant to reach for your hand, but you grabbed his to reassure him. “I’m still so in love with you.” He admitted. His thumb ran across your knuckles. “Every time I see you, I feel nostalgic. There is no one in the whole world that knows me like you do and that means something. You will always mean something to me.”

And you blinked at him with words unspoken. Your heart was shaking in the palms of his hands. A part inside of you felt okay with that, like if were to let anyone ruin your life, it would be him. 

Jimin picked up your chin. Looking into his glossy, red eyes, he read every bit of you and searched for the one sign he needed. Then he saw it, the familiar small twinkle in your eyes, and he knew exactly how you felt. 

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