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queer-petplay · 1 year

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I keep getting doms in my messages and I just have to say: I don’t think even half of you understand the type of commitment it takes to have a submissive.

A true d/s relationship requires high prioritization. A submissive is trusting you to care for their emotions while you are wielding power of them. This isn’t a dynamic for someone who just wants kinky sex. You need to learn your submissive’s triggers, their trauma, their blindspots, and their nonverbal cues that they are past the point of being able to safe word. It’s not just about pleasure and getting off. You need to be prepared to reassure your submissive that they’re valuable to you as a person. Sometimes you’ll need to know that they need this when they might not know themself. Because to be a dominant is a power role. That power can easily become unbalanced and easily become abusive if you’re not constantly communicating and being conscious of the impact of your words and actions.

To any subs reading this: you deserve a dom who is educated about d/s and truly cares for you as a person. Have high standards. It can suck not to have a dom, but it’s so much more damaging to yourself and your future relationships to have a bad dom than it’s worth.

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sub-aimee · 9 months

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A cautionary meme to all submissives or potential submissives. Vett your potential Dom/Domme. Be careful and play safe, sane, and consensual.

#fake doms #fem domme #dominance #bdsmplay #bdsmlife #bdsmrelationship #bdsmkink #domme/sub #d/s #d/s dynamic #real d/s #d/s stuff #d/s relationship #d/s partnership

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cevansbrat0007 · 1 year

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I’m really curious to read how the dynamic was brought up of Daddy/ Baby girl. (I assume it was Andy) in GP. How did this conversation start? Was there any trepidation?

So, the first time the actual dynamic is introduced in A Good Lesson, followed by Laying Down the Rules. As it stands now, Andy just kind of told Reader how things were gonna go and accepted it within reason.

However, as I continue to expand the early parts of their relationship I will also have the chance to explore this dynamic in ways that previously did not. We will see them work through some things, especially as Baby Girl begins to understand why she feels drawn to certain aspects of this particular lifestyle.

And not only that, but potentially how it affects her identity as a strong independent woman. Because she would have to be crazy not to wonder as to whether or not something was wrong with her! Like...

Why does she have to urge to be submissive? Why does she (sometimes) get off on being told what to do? Or being made to submit? And why does it all seem to revolve around being with Andrew Barber...the only man she's ever called "Daddy" other than her own biological father? What is it about that man that calls to her in that way?

And most importantly, why does it all seem to feel so damned good?

As it stands now, some of this will be touched on in later chapters of The Lonely Hearts Club. Now, that could change. But I don't think it will.

And, as per usual, I am open to suggestions about what they might like to see Reader address with Andy. Or even specific aspects of their relationship they would like to explore in the future. For instance, I know we've explored different punishment methods Andy likes to use, but I'm not sure if we've seen them manage a punishment dispute - which does sometimes occur.

Make sense? Thanks for the ask!

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miss-submissive31 · 1 year

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🥰 yes please

#bd/sm community #bd/sm kink #d/s partnership #d/s #submission #yes please #impactplay

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littlenuggsworld · 1 year

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What I’ve learned these past 10 months in this dynamic…

**New writing assignment given by Daddy**

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•I’ve learned more about my needs Vs. My wants. What I truly NEED. But also what I truly WANT.

•I’ve learned that I really don’t know what I truly “like” or don’t like until I’ve tried it.

•I’ve learned to be more patient.

•I’ve learned and am still learning to be less reactive to emotions sometimes. They’re what make me human, but reacting in a better way sometimes is more proactive.

•I’ve learned and am still learning to really fully trust another human.

•I’ve learned that it’s ok to let your guard down sometimes with the right person. To be more vulnerable. I have a hard time doing that, but with Daddy I can be vulnerable and it’s ok.

•I’ve learned that to submit to Daddy, being vulnerable is crucial.

•I’ve learned just how much one can connect with another when it’s the right human. Daddy’s been that right human since day 1.

•Ive learned to speak up about what I need, but at the right time. (Work In progress still)

•I’ve learned to start embracing and owning exactly who I am. (Service sub, brat, little) all of my subby traits that make me ME. But also my non subby traits.

•I’ve learned to fight for what I want and what I deserve.

•I’ve learned that although I’m very independent, I crave deep connection.

•I’ve learned that while I am very mentally strong, I don’t always want to be. I want someone to sometimes be strong for and with me. I want to sometimes be taken care of, not always the one to take care of others.

•I’ve learned that I truly want someone to lead. I don’t want to lead. And how much I love Daddy leading me.

•I’ve learned just how deep my emotions run and how important they are.

•I’ve learned certain bonds you develop with another are unbreakable, no matter the circumstances.

•I’ve learned that giving up control to the right person is exactly what I need.

•I’ve learned just how much I really love this dynamic with Daddy.

•I’ve learned how much I love the D/s dynamic in general. The rawness and real connection it can lead you into.

•I’ve learned that Daddy is the one I want to continue to grow with. To continue to learn with.

•I’ve learned just how much I can truly love another for everything that they are, right now. Exactly as they are.

•I’ve learned how much I love learning more with Daddy.

I’ve learned how much I love doing life with Daddy.

•I’ve learned just how much I really love Daddy.

•I’ve learned that this dynamic with Daddy is everything I needed and want.

•I’ve learned exactly what I want.

•I’ve learned that to be owned by Daddy is exactly what I want. The idea of someone “owning” me 2 years ago I would have thought to be ridiculous. Now, it is literally my biggest craving. To be Daddy’s, 100%, all the time, everywhere.

I’ve learned a lot this past year and look forward to learning more about me, Daddy, this dynamic, and life.

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queer-petplay · 10 months

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I just need to be your puppy. I'll always be your good puppy. At the end of the day, it's the only thing that matters.

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psapphic95 · 2 years

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Hi! I was wondering, if Emma wanted to do something for example like cut her hair, get piercings, stop shaving, etc.. how would Regina react? Obviously those decisions are Emma’s to make but I feel like Mommy might be kinda conflicted? Love your work <3

Hey!

This is an interesting question! So, in some D/s relationships, the Domme takes total control over physical appearance in regards to body modifications, body hair, tattoos, hairstyles etc. That’s not entirely the case with Emma and Regina, and it’s a little bit more complex.

Ultimately, Emma does what she wants in terms of non-permanent appearance changes. If she wants to cut her hair, paint her nails a certain colour, wear a certain outfit etc, Regina doesn’t really have a ‘say’ in it, beyond what a normal partner may have. For instance, Emma would probably ask for Regina’s opinion on a certain hairstyle or outfit - but the couple has similar opinions on tastes and styles so it’s not really the case that Emma would make a drastic change to the way she looked or dressed that Regina wouldn’t approve of. Even if Regina wasn’t too fond of an item of clothing that Emma wants to wear, Emma would probably wear it anyway if she liked it.

The only times that Regina does put her foot down is when she insists that Emma needs to put a coat on in winter and zip it up, even if it does ‘ruin her outfit.’

However, Emma does have to run piercings and tattoos, or more permanent body changes, past Regina. After she got her little Capricorn tattoo symbol (see: ASWY Chapter Four) even though Regina was very touched and happy, as a rule going forward they agreed that Emma had to tell Regina if she was going to get a tattoo or piercing so that they could discuss it, and Regina could make the final decision. Not because Regina thinks that Emma would get an ugly tattoo or piercing that she disagreed with, but only because it is just another assertion of Regina’s dominance and ownership over Emma’s body. Both women find it hot and kinky, and Emma loves submitting to Regina that way.

In terms of body hair and skin, Regina likes that Emma waxes for her. Not because she cares about pubic hair, but just because she likes that Emma endures that kind of upkeep for her Mommy. She likes that there is a rule that Emma obeys. If Emma said that she wanted to keep some of her hair down there, then Regina would instate another rule that dictates that her hair should be trimmed to a certain length - just so Emma would have to put in some effort in keeping it that way. One thing that Regina does have absolutely strict rules over is the state and appearance of Emma’s feet - they need to be soft and pretty and ready to be worshipped at all times.

Does this make sense? Thanks for reading anyway!

#ask response #bd$m rules #rules #ao3 fanfic #ao3 author #once upon a time #ouat fanfiction #mdlgkink #mommy k!nk #mommysbaby #mommys little girl #swan queen #ao3fic #d/s partnership #d/s rules

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