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ladykissingfish · 3 years

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On A Cruise with the Akatsuki

Done at the request of @deaththesyd ((I hope I’m spelling that right)) thank you for such a unique ask! This was fun to write😊

All work and no play makes a bunch of killers very dull, indeed. A vacation is absolutely necessary sometimes, and Pein comes up with the brilliant (?) idea of sending them all on a relaxing cruise.

Konan

When Konan hears that there’s a full spa on the cruise, that’s it, she’s sold. She heads out of her cabin early in the morning and spends an entire day basking in much-needed luxury and relaxations. While she chooses to indulge in any and everything, some other members of the Akatsuki choose to drop in and join her for certain elements. For example, Deidara shows up for the face masks (he’s surprisingly fastidious about his skin and almost spends more time on his face than Konan does hers). Itachi comes to join her when it’s time for massages, becoming so calm and relaxed that he falls asleep mid-sentence (and Konan admonishes the workers to be as gentle and quiet as possible, because, obviously, the kid could use the rest). Hidan surprises her most of all when he pops up in time for the manicure and pedicure portion of the treatment, but he makes it a point to say over and over that “I’m not a wimp or nothing; I just like clean nails.” At the end of the day, after being pampered and preened and made even prettier, she finds Sasori sitting on the deck, and joins him to watch the sunset and see the first stars appear in the night sky.

Deidara

Deidara has a mind that goes a mile a minute, and finds it immensely difficult to stick with doing one thing. Therefore, he’ll try to fill his days on a cruise doing everything that there is to go. An on-board pool? He’s the first one doing a flip off the diving board. A mini casino? He’s “borrowing” money from Kakuzu and playing until he goes bust. The thing that appeals most to him, however, are the complimentary breakfast, lunch, and dinner buffets. He, along with Hidan, will strike fear into the hearts of all the other passengers, as they load plates higher than the ceiling and scarf down more than seems physically possible. Because Deidara spends so much time eating and indulging in various merriments, towards the end of the day he’s more than likely to sit down in a deck chair to “rest a second” — and end up sleeping there until Sasori comes to look for him and make him go lay down properly in his cabin. Then the next day, Deidara will be the first one up, and his antics will repeat themselves.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu is very much against the idea of the Akatsuki going on a cruise, because you know, money; but Pein offers to pay to send everyone out of his own pocket ... and Kakuzu isn’t one to turn down anything free. Once on board, he really doesn’t intend to do anything other than nap in his cabin ... but that’s before he hears about the on-board casino. A hidden (but profitable) talent of Kakuzu’s is the ability to count cards, making him a veritable nightmare to the dealers working at the blackjack table. But he’s smart; he knows that if he wins too many hands the proprietors will become suspicious and likely kick him out. So he wins just enough to make it worth being out of bed. Other than the relaxation and the gambling, the others can convince him to join them when they eat at the ships buffets or small restaurants, although, as he does on land, he’ll always go for the cheapest thing on the menu. Shockingly, a cruise is one of the few places in the world that he can really get along with Hidan; something about being on the sea brings out more of the calm and quiet side of the Jashinist. The two will spend some time sitting in the deck chairs and having avid, whimsical conversations about life, likely enjoying a glass of wine or two as they do so.

Zetsu

Zetsu goes with at the behest of the others, but doesn’t really want to be there. An endless body of water? Over-bearing sunshine? Happy people? No, thanks. He’ll likely stay in his cabin and sleep ... during the day, that is. Nighttime is a different story. He’ll use his powers of infiltration and camouflage to find his way into passengers rooms, and have himself a midnight snack or two (or six, but who’s counting?). When he’s done with the bodies, if there’s anything left he’ll toss them into the ocean. It’s one thing if a passenger goes missing, but another if they’re found dead. He’ll clean the cabins out too, getting rid of the blood and evidence, so as to lessen the alarm raised when others notice the dead’s absence. He also likes to spend a bit of time with Obito and play cards in one or the other’s cabin.

Tobi (Obito)

Unfortunately (or, in another light, hilariously) Obito gets horribly, horribly seasick. The rocking motion of a ship, or even seeing the water move around outside the ship, has the guy running to his cabin’s bathroom (or if he’s outside of his room, the deck) and puking his guts out. He didn’t really want to come in the first place, but the others insisted and besides, Obito likes to spend time outside of typical Akatsuki businesss with them. Deidara, in a surprising show of kindness, will visit Tobi’s room with seasick medicine he buys at the on-board store, and this will help Tobi to at least get vertical without feeling like he’s dying. After he’s feeling better he sticks to low-impact activities so as not to trigger a relapse, and will likely spend more time with Konan at the spa than anywhere else. He’ll also join Kakuzu for a bit at the casino; like the old man, Obito has a knack for gambling and predicting good odds. Poker is his specialty; the mask he wears makes reading his face impossible to his fellow players, and his goofy demeanor pulls others into thinking they can take this guy … and lose their shirts in the process.

Hidan

Ah; the sea. Being out in the open waters, feeling the sun on his face and the most of water, brings out a side of Hidan that nobody’s ever seen before. He’s calm, he’s quiet, he’s downright friendly. Kakuzu comments that maybe he was a seaman in another life … although “pirate” seems a bit more accurate for him. No matter where Hidan is, however, his competitive spirit never dies. There’s several exercise and game rooms on board that offers table tennis, volleyball, golf, basketball, and a variety of other things, which Hidan takes part of. There’s even a small rock-climbing wall that he challenges Deidara and Itachi to, which he (gleefully) beats them at. When not playing games he also loves to eat, and will join Deidara at the ship’s buffets to stuff himself silly. Normally, as a follower of the way of Jashin, Hidan doesn’t drink. However being at sea seems to be cause for bending the rules, and Hidan will enjoy a stiff cocktail or six while relaxing in his cabin.

Itachi

Whereas the rocking motion of the ship makes Obito feel sick to his stomach, it effects the other Uchiha in another way entirely; it relaxes him. Getting someone who’s as stressed as Itachi to relax is no small feat, but a cruise is one of the rare things that can do this. The first few days on the cruise will likely see the young brunette sleeping as much as possible. He’ll put up the Do Not Disturb sign on his door and nap away his worries. Around the third or fourth day, he’ll wake up feeling wonderfully reinvigorated, and actually have the energy to join the others in their activities. He’ll share a meal with Hidan, he’ll wander into the spa that Konan’s practically made her home and indulge in massages and facials. He’ll even take up Kisame’s offer to participate in the ship-offered scuba diving lessons (although Kisame has been teaching Itachi how to dive for years and neither really has the need for professional training, they find it fun to be around the others who are just learning). Deidara even seeks him out join him in the game room to compete against him (although he accuses him of cheating with his sharingan every time he wins). At night, he enjoys sitting on the top deck with Sasori, and the two have deep conversations about life and culture and art. Sasori doesn’t sleep so he can literally sit up with Itachi all evening until the stars disappear from the sky and the sun comes up over the waves.

Pein

Nagato makes the decision not to send his Pein-body on the cruise. Nagato, like Obito, gets very seasick, and this isn’t a sensation he wishes to experience through the Pein-body. He utilizes Pein’s time alone at the hideout, however, by gathering the other Pein’s together to practice sparring and different fighting techniques. They’ll get the house quite messy, and will have to work together to frantically clean before the others return.

Kisame

Kisame is in his element on a cruise. As could be expected, Kisame tends to stick solely to the activities on board that are based around the water. He’ll be one of the first ones in the ship’s pool when it opens, in fact going so far as to strip completely naked until somebody else comes in and ruins his fun. He participates in the deep sea fishing offered by professionals, although Kisame’s tips and tricks for catching fish far outshine those of the instructors. There’s even a chance for him to be heroic; one day a woman slips and falls over the railing and into the waters below. Everybody panics, but before anyone can make a move towards rescuing her, Kisame is diving into the water and pulling her to the surface as easily as one would pull a sack of feathers. He stays with her until she’s stabilized, and the woman thanks him by hugging him and kissing his cheek, which will have him blushing from head to toe. Besides his water activities, he also enjoys spending time with the others, in particular Itachi and Konan. One thing that these three do together (to the delight of Kisame) is play pranks on the others. They manage to get into Deidara’s room and steal all of his shirts, they sneak black hair dye into Hidan’s shampoo. One particular funny feat involved then going into Kakuzu’s room safe (Itachi was able to use his sharingan to see into the old guy’s mind to get the combination) and replace all of his money with IOU slips. It was funny … until Kakuzu burst into Hidan’s room at 3am and threatened to strangle him as “the most likely fucker who did this”. Kisame loves cruises and wishes the Akatsuki could afford to go on one every month.

Sasori

Another soul who really didn’t want to go on a cruise. He ends up going because (and only because) Deidara pestered him relentlessly until he gave in. Eating, games, swimming, gambling … none of these things hold any appeal for the puppet master. One day he’s walking along one of the lower deck and happens upon a group of ship staff taking a mandatory CPR/basic medical training class. Being somewhat of a medical expert himself, he goes in and offers his expertise, as well as some tips that not even the instructors thought of. Sasori also spends some time with Deidara, as the blonde was the one who made him go in the first place. They find an art class and it offers painting, a medium that neither are familiar with. The subject is a bottle of wine. The instructor is somewhat horrified when he finds that Sasori has painted the wine bottle being smashed into someone’s kneecap; and Deidara has painted it exploding and sending glass fragments into innocent bystanders. On one of their nights, Deidara falls asleep while the two are sitting in deck chairs under the stars, and Sasori manages to pick him up and carry him to his room. Sasori also likes spending time with Itachi; he never passes up an opportunity to get into Itachi’s head a little, as he thinks he has one of the most fascinating minds in the Akatsuki. Sasori comes to enjoy his time on the cruise, and will actually find himself a bit melancholy when it’s over and they return to land.

#the akatsuki #on a cruise #cruisevacation #im on a boat #nagato #konan #deidara #sasori #hidan #kakuzu #kisame #itachi uchiha #tobi #obito uchiha #zetsu #headcanons #naruto

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bakubabes-tatakae · 3 years

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Hello, congratulations on 5k bestie!! Idk if your in the lgbtq but happy Pride month If you are 🏳️‍🌈. I’d like to request a letter from itachi but its to vix and the pronouns are she/her.

either way have a wonderful day!💖

Thank you so much bestie. 🥺❤ Here's a little Itachi for you! Have an amazing day and I hope this puts a smile on your face. 👏💞

My Sweet Vix,

I had some free time and Kisame isn’t around so I figured I’d take it to send you this letter. I’ll leave my crow with you for a couple of days in case you want to send something back. I wanted to remind you that I love you. I wanted to remind you that I miss you more than you’ll ever know. I’m sorry that my position in Akatsuki keeps me from home as much as it does. But this is my best chance to keep tabs on Sasuke, and I have to take that. I know you’ll understand that.

I am patiently awaiting the time that Pain says that we can slow down some. The time that he says that we’ve done enough for now and gives us a small vacation. As happy as I am to help with this cause, sometimes I would love to hear him say that we can take that time to do things for ourselves.

I picture you all the time. Your smile keeps me going, it never leaves the forefront of my mind and I’d never want it any other way. I’d never want anything more than for you to keep it on your face at all times. You really know how to light up a room with that thing. You make all the bad times bearable with just one glance.

Kisame had a hunch on what I was going to do while he was gone so he told me to make sure I say hello to you for him. He’s been talking about you a lot too, he’s been saying how much he’s been appreciating the always positive attitude you’ve had around the other members. It really keeps all of our spirits up. And we thank you for dealing with Tobi when we’re all there, we all know that Deidara does his best, but even he can only handle so much of Tobi before he gets too upset.

I think I hear Kisame coming into our hideout so I’ll close this letter and send the crow on his way. I hope this letter finds you well and puts that gorgeous smile on your face. I love you so much, my darling. I’m going to continue to keep you in my thoughts and I hope that you do the same. I eagerly await your return letter and will write to you again as soon as I can find some time.

Forever And Ever,

Itachi

Letter Requests Are: Closed

#itachi uchiha letter #itachi letter #naruto letter #itachi uchiha #naruto #bakubabes hatake celebrates 5k #5k follower event #5k event #5k milestone #letters from characters #itachi

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panharmonium · 3 years

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NARUTO THOUGHTS FROM TONIGHT

[disclaimer as always: I’M WATCHING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME; PLEASE DON’T SPOIL ME ABOUT ANYTHING OR TALK TO ME ABOUT WHICH SEASONS YOU THINK ARE GOOD/BAD/BETTER/ETC; I’M TRYING TO STAY COMPLETELY SPOILER-FREE; THANK YOU <3]

1) sakura being treated like an actual main character and having a complete battle to herself and being determined and smart and just as much of a fully realized character as everyone else is AMAZING; that’s what it should have felt like from the beginning. i loved the flashbacks to her studying with tsunade, particularly when tsunade was yelling at her not to close her eyes in the middle of a battle. it was just awesome to see sakura getting as much attention devoted to her as has always been devoted to the boys.

2) gai forcing his team to do the “everybody put your hands in the middle and shout a slogan like a sports team” thing and neji being literally more willing to die than participate and gai refusing to budge until neji puts his hand in had me shrieking with laughter

3) i also was losing it at the other akatsuki casually shit-talking orochimaru while packing up for a mission

sasori: i heard he tried to take over itachi’s body and failed. now he’s taking younger and stronger bodies, trying to become immortal.

deidara: *laughs* that’s so stupid.

orochimaru has been living in our minds as the Biggest Bad of all time but these guys think he’s a total joke lmaoooo

4) the sharingan - i FUCKING KNEW IT. way back in shonen jump i suspected this and i was Right; the minute itachi laid out the rules for mangekyo sharingan back in S5 i knew. i KNEW kakashi was going to be able to whip it out at some point and i was fucking RIGHT; when i tell you i screamed...

on a side note, i really appreciated seeing him struggle with it. he “misses” twice (though, i mean, getting the guy’s arm was pretty helpful, frankly), and even though he gets it right the one time it desperately matters, he’s totally trashed afterwards. it obviously hurts to use, and i just appreciate that they didn’t make him magically proficient at it. this felt much more real, and it’s way more interesting an ability for me to wonder about than powers that don’t have consequences or limitations.

5) “DIDN’T ANYBODY THINK ABOUT HOW GAARA WOULD FEEL” aka “didn’t anybody think how I would feel when they put this thing inside me,” GOD, i’m sobbing. i like that we’re starting to see that the show is in fact aware of the ethical ramifications of gaara and naruto’s situations, aka “hmmm maybe sealing super-powered spirits inside babies was Wrong.”

6) naruto breaking down crying and bursting out with i couldn’t save sasuke in the middle of ostensibly talking about gaara really has me clawing my face off godddddddddd. i couldn’t save sasuke. and i couldn’t save gaara. i trained so hard for three years and nothing’s changed. he’s always so positive and determined and optimistic all the time but then you get a glimpse underneath of how affected he still is by this thing he tries not to let people see him dwelling on and how much it actually hurts him

#anyway we watched so many episodes tonight and it was all great #one of my favorite things in shows is when you get to see other characters be like 'oh shit wow what' when someone does s/th impressive #particularly when they don't exactly understand it and are just looking on stunned or in wonder #like that one scene in clone wars when obi-wan hypnotizes the attacking creatures on ryloth and lures them into the canyon #and all the clones are staring and that one guy just whispers 'incredible'#they did that with kakashi at least three times tonight and it was fucking fantastic #naruto #pan watches naruto

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crowsangelnozomi · 3 years

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Dream Experiment part 1

( Details have been changed in this story comparied to the Role play version)

" Alright you lot settle down ! " Pein bellowed as the Akatsuki's meeting was about to begin. Nozomi entered the room as the others were sitting down at their spots at the meeting table. Looking around the only other spot open was between Itachi, and the strange masked man they called Tobi.

Nozomi was still learning everyone's quirks, personalities, who to avoid, and who seemed to be okay to talk too. Nozomi had her personal thoughts about the other members, but you couldn't always tell a person by a first glance.

" I'll have to do a deeper study later."

" As you have seen we have a new person with us. This is Nozomi Yousei a former ninja that held from the Hidden Village of Growth. " Pein said as he introduced Nozomi to the others.

" The Village of Growth ? I've heard of that village the leader I hear is a tyrant, and has a great price over his head ." Kakuzu said as he looked in his notes. The leader of the village had a bounty on his head , and Kakuzu had been awaiting a moment like this.

Hidan looked at Nozomi studying her size.

" Her. Is that the reason Konan kept calling her by those strange nicknames ? "

" What nicknames ?" Deidara questioned. Itachi looked at Nozomi he had never known Nozomi had any nicknames. There was possibly a reason , but Itachi remained still and listened to what was going on.

" Konan called her Dream Spirit or something about a White crow. " Hidan said

" Yes. Nozomi has impressive abilities that could help us with our goals. If I am not mistaken they revolve around when a person's sleeping am I correct " Pein answered. Nozomi listened as she had never revealed a lot about her actual jutsu. A lot of the jutsu she practiced outside was passed down from her father's side. Her true abilities came from her mother's side.

" I'll let you discover that on your own. I trust you will be an asset to the Akatsuki Nozomi."

" Yes sir. " Nozomi answered respectfully as she could be without sounding too nervous. But once introductions were done the Akatsuki leader began to go over the agenda, and ask details about certain missions that were still being carried out.

After the meeting everyone was dismissed leaving the members to do as they pleased.

" So your Nozomi chan huh ! I am Tobi its really nice to meet you. Tobi just knows we are going to be best friends ! " Tobi said as he jumped towards Nozomi giving her a spine crushing hug. Nozomi's eyes bulged out of her head as she tried to struggle free.

" It.. Its nice to meet you Tobi. " Nozomi said smiling while feigning nervousness at the same time.

Itachi watched from afar as Nozomi interacted with a few of the members. Especially Tobi who was getting a little to close around Nozomi's space. But finally Nozomi managed to back away, and towards her room.

" Nozomi san. " Nozomi heard Leaders voice bellow.

" Yes sir ?" Nozomi asked as Pein approached her.

" Come with me ." Pein answered and Nozomi followed the Akatsuki leader. Nozomi followed Leader to his office with Itachi following from a distance. Itachi stopped at the door as Pein, and Nozomi was discussing something.

" You wanted to see me ?" Nozomi asked.

" Yes. I want you to use your abilities. " Pein answered.

" Hmm ?" Nozomi questioned.

" Yes. I want you to use your jutsu on them. " Pein answered. Possibly he wanted to gather information or was curious about his members. Nozomi listened as Pein gave her permission to use her abilities on the other Akatsuki members.

" Very well, but I need some time to prepare. " Nozomi answered.

" Your request is noted." Pein said and Nozomi was dismissed. Nozomi exited the room . Thinking about it the Akatsuki members would make interesting subjects to study. Nozomi needed to practice her jutsu for she hadn't for awhile.

Nozomi went into her room , and sat on her bed. Itachi had followed her after she left Pein's quarters. Looking inside Itachi saw Nozomi sit on her bed as she pulled out a small box. The box was something important where Nozomi kept her most treasured items, and her families scrolls for her jutsu.

" Little Raven what are you doing ?" Itachi asked.

" I was going to prepare some tea ." Nozomi answered as she pulled out a pouch from her weapon pouch. Itachi took the pouch and looked at it. A strong aroma was coming from the bag.

" What kind of blend is it. I've never seen one like this."

" It was passed from my grandmother to my mother. When I left the village mom gave it to me." Nozomi answered. Itachi followed her to the kitchen. The tea would take awhile to prepare. Nozomi just hoped this little experiment worked

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tsukihoshino · 4 years

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Super long Sasori post

I’m going to begin this by saying everyone is entitled to their view on Sasori and how to characterize him within the parameters set up by canon or whatever AU/Bent Timeline a person has inserted him into but I do believe there are certain things about him that remain the same no matter what situation you put him in-- otherwise he’s just no longer Sasori (IMO.) So much of his character is about hyper analyzing his words and actions, and what others have said about him through a microscope because the fact of the matter is for such an interesting character he really had such little time.

I was originally not going to bring shipping into this but as I was writing Sasosaku kinda slipped in there, mostly because it felt like it provided a good contrast to what we get of Sasori in canon and how it can translate into fanon.

(All of these opinions are based on the Manga and the Akatsuki formation because OP cannot be assed with novels and filler for the most part...Making an exception for Komushi.)

1. He’s highly manipulative. He’s a puppet master and he has a spy ring. He gathers information so he can use it against people, he manipulates the corpses of what used to be people--or things that LOOK, very often like people. That says a lot about who he is as a person.

And when you first see his real face, when he reveals himself to Chiyo this is the face you get;

I don’t get the impression that he’s actually happy to see her given the events that follow, its largely about trying to put his grandmother off center and BOTHER her. Sasori is perfectly capable of acting to get to a desired result--which makes a lot of sense to me because while Bunraku is largely about the Narrator's words there is also the performance element to it via the puppets.

2. He’s all about control. Control of himself, of others, of events. It's really an offshoot of manipulation but I don’t think Sasori blinks without putting thought into the action. ( I mean technically, lmao given his unique anatomy in canon that might be 100% accurate.)

3. He’s not only an artist. The guy is the very definition of being a mad scientist. He sits at a place where Art and Science meet and become something more. It's not one or the other when it comes to Sasori, there is something almost Frankenstein like in the way that he creates his human puppets, the 3rd and himself. Think about the knowledge that had to go into that from basic human anatomy to the chakra system as a whole. I mean we never get a play by play on HOW he did it but we know he’s the only one who ever did and then repeated a similar, much more complicated process on himself.

Then there is his poison, we know he’s primarily relied on the infamous one because it was sooo effective (until it wasn’t, thanks Sakura.) But we have to assume given how he is Sasori makes ART out of deadly concoctions and methods of murder.

To him synthesizing that poison was probably no different than an artist trying to get that perfect shade of red.

The weird thing about Sasori ( and I guess it's just ONE of the many weird things) Is that for an Artist he is very...clinical. When we think about people in the arts we often imagine passionate people like Deidara--bombastic and flamboyant free spirits.

4. Logical and likely to the extreme.

He’s not a sore loser. When he loses and it's fair he accepts it. He's not bitter about the end of his fight with Sakura and Chiyo, he’s not pissy with Konan--he respects it because to Sasori the weak die and the strong survive, losers don’t have a right to complain when they shoulda got gud to begin with.

I don’t doubt that in Sasori’s logical mind he came to the conclusion that his parents died because they were weak. Ergo unlike Chiyo he’s just completely unaffected by seeing Kakashi, the world just followed its natural order in the death of his parents.

He’s got a reptile brain and he just sort of views people as animals because it's probably simpler--except for himself. He thinks he’s above that, to himself he is a god.

The thing with Komushi...I perceive it as largely an accident but in Sasori’s “perfectly” logical mind he was just like well: it’s sort of Komushi’s own fault and never let a tragedy go to waste because again, hyper logical. Not only that but he was BEGGED to do something for Komushi and there really was nothing to be done for him at that point other than make something useful out of his death.

The problem with being TOO logical is that it is just as detrimental as being too emotional. If we all just went around doing what was logical we’d be no different than animals or machines. Logic dictates we do whatever it takes to survive and come out on top even at the expense of others but because we are balanced by emotion most people don’t live like that.

On the flipside because he’s logical he can be convinced by compelling arguments without ego getting in the way. In this same vein he finds it very difficult to feel sorry about things he’s done in the past but when able to recognize it was wrong he can accept it and simply resolve not to do it in the future--he doesn’t have the capacity to agonize over feelings of guilt.

5. He hates being lied to and he’s impatient. Sasori will lie to everyone around him and even to himself if he can manage it but if he finds out He’s the one being lied to? Intense hate. See points 1&2.

6. He’s blunt and often rude when acting as his natural self. I don’t find the need to explain this one much.

7. Sasori is largely self-focused. He thinks he has a perfect handle on himself and understands exactly why he is the way he is--but it couldn’t be further from the truth. He really doesn’t understand his own feelings much less those of others and what he does understand he often doesn’t care about. This can be changed if a person is able to get through to him.

This is the guy who thought that by removing his concious from a human body and sticking it into what's basically a decorative vase all his problems would MAGICALLY vanish. Because as smart as he is, he was also desperate to escape his own feelings not realizing that when you pour the water in one glass into another glass the contents remain the same.

No matter how hard he tries he cannot escape the problem plaguing him; himself.

8. Sasori does not value life, not his own and certainly not others. Unless you are like that ONE person who is able to get through to him. He has what I would call a “Very narrow heart.” which simply does not have a lot of space for people. To him it's probably Sasori and “That Person” VS the world.

9. He likes things that last, sculptures and paintings, classical music and literature, things that have been around for ages and withstood the trials of time.

10. He does not do well on his own. He thinks he does but he really doesn’t, when he is by himself he is destructive. When he feels alone he is at his most dangerous. Sasori is very much a person who NEEDS someone to essentially be his emotional center otherwise we get him turning himself into a puppet in what amounted to a one longass theatrical suicide.

11. Sasori was probably always a little...different even as a kid but environment and events certainly played a role. His parents died at an early age and he was essentially lied to and given false hope. (hence the impatience and hatred of lies.) Throw into that an intellect seldom seen in a time of war where child soldiers are the norm. He killed his first person at 8, he earned himself a title denoting that he was so good at killing he soaked the sands in blood. Imagine what that's like at 8, getting a pat on the head everytime you kill someone?

Of course you would become conditioned to believe that killing is right and good when you’re being congratulated and rewarded for being proficient at it.

Its assumption on my part but I do believe Sasori lays somewhere on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.

12. He’s vain AF. Look at him. He made sure to replicate himself in his prime to perfect detail in the places that were most visible, his face and his hands. He could have made himself look like anything but in the end he still chose that form.

13. When he wants something he makes a plan and gets it done. Doesn’t matter how long or what he has to do to get to point A to point B he’s going to do it.

14. He has three main expressions; blank, smug and insane.

15: His power levels are again, insane. He is a master of multiple trades. The guy ganked a Kage at 15 the strongest one Sand ever had by that point, ( Orochimaru was waay older and came out way more damaged as far as we know when he fought Sarutobi.) toppled a nation, made himself a new body with mysterious methods.

It's time for the Sasosaku bit:

Part of the reason why I think the two of them fit so well together is that they are opposites and yet complimentary. Sakura is an antidote and Sasori is the poison, but sometimes a medicine can become a poison and a poison can be used as medicine. Sakura is a close range combatant and Sasori is long but they have this odd intersection of skill sets and interest. They both deal in the human body and the manipulation of it, Sakura’s focus is to maintain it as it is and improve its condition if needed and Sasori’s is to both destroy and create it anew all at once.

If they weren’t trying to kill one another in canon they would have had tons to talk about.

Ultimately Sakura gets gut stabbed not because he was aiming for her but because she got LITERALLY in the way of a family feud. He was going for Chiyo and you can assume that's because he thought his grandma was the bigger threat or because he was still bitter about the past on some subconscious level and was gunning for her--i mean he goes in for Chiyo a second time after he disconnects from the arm Sakura was death gripping. But Sakura’s selfless action is something that viscerally shocks him:

And it only gets worse when Chiyo starts feeding her life force into Sakura--a second selfless act on the part of someone he hates and feels wronged by.

Sakura values life and Sasori doesn’t because he doesn’t understand it. He was raised his whole life to think that people like them--Shinobi had no value other than to kill or to be killed. He’s visibly shocked when she starts yelling after socking him in the face about Human lives and family bonds. Like no one had ever mentioned that to him before and forget about risking your life to save someone else's, that goes against his logical lizard brain.

At that point he’s already beaten, he’s already impressed with her. It’s right after her punching him that Sasori gives what amounts to an odd marriage proposal IMO. It was completely pointless of him to even bring it up but you can tell by the “Glint” in his eye that he meant it.

Sasori: Want to become like me? You’ll get what I mean. An undecaying body, Unfettered by a mortal lifespan, capable of being rebuilt over and over again. ( if you were immortal would you offer immortality to someone you had no interest in? Not me. I wouldn’t want to have them around for virtually “forever” in any shape or form. And Sasori is not talking about making Sakura into just some controllable puppet, he’s talking about being JUST like him, sentient thought and movement.)

Sasori: I can make as many people as I want out of puppets….-Looks dead at Sakura- If I want them...but my collection isn’t just about quantity. Quality is important too.

That whole conversation is like A CREEPY FLIRTATION from him because we know what he considers “True beauty” to be. Eternal.

And then it comes to a head where he gives her a “sentimental reward” in the information she wanted. Now I’m not saying Sakura was interested or anything but it seems like he was in some shape or form.

In my opinion when you put someone like Sakura--who is brilliant and logical but also heavily swayed by her emotions with someone like Sasori, brilliant, logical and emotionally repressed. A person who values life with someone who neither values their own life or others what you get is agitation.

Agitation is not a bad thing, it breaks stagnation--which is what, imo drives Sasori to his death. It is the lack of change, he’s made it so he cannot feel physically and he has tried his hardest and for the most part succeeded in numbing his inner feelings.

Part of me is convinced that what ultimately kills him is complacency. He gets so used to being at the top that when he is confronted with someone who neutralizes his life’s work and destroys his collection and keeps confronting and beating him with all the qualities he deems useless and pointless it just drives home the point that everything he has ever done or thought was in vain and on some level wrong. There is no point in winning against them because everything is already destroyed. There is no going back to what he was before, therefore death is preferable.

Through Sakura, in Au’s or alt timelines, or w/e she is able to reach him through their similarities but change him due to the fundamental differences in their nature.

As to what Sakura gets from Sasori; Someone who clearly respects her skills and understands her interests because his own align--and therefore would be supportive and present. The two of them actually have things in common and therefore shit to talk about.

In that same vein Sasori seems like the type of person who if he were to fall in love it is to the point of obsession, for someone who was repressed and held themselves apart from others I see him in a lot of ways as almost touch, and certainly affection starved. It becomes addictive to him. (Which is probably why when I write him he’s handsy.)

We know how Sakura likes to take care of people--we see it with Naruto, Sasuke and Sai. In some of these cases it is often to the detriment of her own well being and Sasori, the selfish person that he is, can reign that in and pull it back so that it isn’t so all consuming. (mostly because the only person she should be worried about is herself and him.)

In the end, If Sasori is the logic and Sakura is the emotion, what you end up with is something more balanced. In the same way that if you were to mix a Poison with an Antidote you would end up with a neutralization.

These are just my personal opinions and thoughts on the matter.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I headcanon that Sasori is basically Sakura-sexual so -cough- there. I guess that's a topic for another time...

Look at all these conceited Sasori faces:

#Sasori #Sasosaku #Its long

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forthereaderinserts · 4 years

Note

Could you write for the konoha 11 and atsuki's reaction to y/n having plants growing out of their body? And they have the ability to manipulate and grow plants?

Of course!

To start off with the obvious, Zetsu is the most interested for obvious reasons. He teaches you how different plants work and how they can function as weapons. To him, you’re the first person to actually be able to manipulate plants! He finds that exciting!! He also helps you with any plants growing on your body.

Konan really likes the flowers you can grow, so you go out of your way to make a little flower garden outside her window. With such a rainy place to live, the flowers will be fine.

Even though he doesn’t say it Nagato/Pein does appreciate your effort in making his office more lively with your power. Everytime he comes in to do his work, there’s always a new plant or flowers on his desk or in his window. It lifts his spirits!

Itachi and Kisame like watching you grow the plants and often hover over you when the plants grow on your skin, they’re a little worried but you reassure them that you’re fine and this happens. They’re still a bit worried about you but you always put flowers in their hair.

To Deidara, your plant powers are art too. Maybe not his definition of art but still art, it’s beautiful and it helps the environment around. He loves watching you grow trees or vines, he loves the patterns.

Sasori might not agree with the same view Deidara has, but he does agree that your plant technique is art in its own way. It’s unique to you and you alone, you grow trees so that he doesn’t have to actually go out and get some on his own with money.

For a while, you were just another person. But then you grew a fucking tree. And Kakazu has never been the fuckin same since he watched that.

Hidan loves that he can ride on the plants that you grow. Free rides? HELL YEAH!!! He doesn’t really like flying, makes him a little sick.

Obito was probably told to scout you out by Madara, your plant technique is not only rare but it reminds him of someone.

Lee has found a new meaning to any lotus taijutsu. Mainly because you can actually grow flowers and other plants and you always say to him, “You match the plants!”

Neji enjoys it when you grow lavender around him while he’s training. It helps him remember that this is just training and he can relax a bit while training.

TenTen, Ino, Hinata, and Sakura love your plant powers! The flowers, the flytraps, the catnip, you name it! You make it so pretty...and they just can’t get enough!

Shikamaru enjoys the scent of the flowers and herbs you unconsciously grow on your skin when he invites you to go cloud watching. Helps him relax a little more. Choji tags along as well! He just likes watching the flowers bloom from your skin.

Kiba thinks your plant powers could be really helpful when you need to hide quickly! And also makes a great hide and seek maze for him and Akamaru!

Shino also likes your plant ability, it attracts bugs so he’ll often ask you to help out with his collection.

Naruto and Sasuke both think it’s insanely cool but Naruto is the one to say it out loud while the other one just thinks it. Sasuke is a little jealous you were born with such an ability.

#ask!#me actually writing for once

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mixelation · 2 years

Note

on the topic of cultural differences, what did u have in mind for ita+dei in HD? I picked up on a few but its always nice to hear it from the author

extremely meandering reply:

hmmm well, itachi and deidara have a lot of differences in terms of how they think of the world and their role in society, shaped by a bunch of aspects of their life. so in HD Deidara has grown up an orphan in a system that doesn't really value orphans, so he has a very "me against the world" mentality. i also generally think of Konoha as being more overall accepting of people who don't conform to societal standards (not that they're a hippy-dippy village who accept everyone-- it's just that if you're a badass people care less if your personality is like Kakashi's or Gai's)... so Itachi has grown up in an environment where he was constantly getting praised for his skills and people forgave him being kind of weird in some respects, whereas Deidara grew up trying to be EXTREMELY free-spirited in a much more controlling society, with no big family to shield him or try and talk him down from blowing up public buildings, and that's why he's Like That.

I should note that Itachi did get a lot of pressure to be a perfect shinobi and his views on Violence Bad were probably met with "hmm, that's cute. how many guys can you kill at once--" and then eventually "What if you just killed your family" by like 95% of people he might talk to, but in general Konoha is more lenient of you having strange hobbies outside of work... so if Itachi had grown up to be the weird man who sits under a tree and tries to give you hard candies and philosophize at you, that would have been acceptable as long as he was also still doing his missions. Meanwhile, being eccentric in Iwa is more frowned upon-- in my version, Iwa got hit harder by the third war, so they're overall dealing with more financial stress, all-around post-war trauma, and a lack of resources that made Deidara's superiors resentful of this insanely talented kid wanting to waste his time on "art." Another part of this is also that Konoha emphasizes bonding with your fellow shinobi more than other villages... so even if Shiori and Daisuke think Deidara is weird, they've been told to try and accept everyone's unique talents... and in my mind this attitude comes from Konoha still having to keep unified distinct clans that are dedicated to their own techniques, where as Iwa dissolved distinct clans when it was founded. It's also why Konoha ninja are like "sure, why not" at Deidara's hand-mouths and animated exploding clay animals, but Itachi trying to pass as an Iwa shinobi wouldn't work because they'd be like "who is THIS jackass? Why is he shivering it's not even cold? since are people here good at genjutsu??"

(And, like, obviously Konoha has also struggled with conflict between clans, or like whatever the fuck Danzo was doing, but in theory they are all about diverse people working as one village.)

I think some of the more obvious differences you see in Homemade Dynamite are like... structural differences in the shinobi system (ie, Deidara says in Iwa you get shuffled through multiple genin teams); Deidara talking about how land is at a premium in Iwa while Konoha has room to sprawl; Deidara not knowing Konoha hand signs; some references to differences in food; Deidara's disdain for the hot climate. I have some notes on how Iwa is built into a mountain side, with some older offices and even an open market being in caves carved into the land.

Hope that was the type of answer you were looking for??

#fic: homemade dynamite

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konohagakureship · 5 years

Photo

Deidara and Sasori d&d au! Two more members of the Akatsuki Fellowship!! They are travelling around Khorvaire, in the world of Eberron!

au! Akatsuki D&D

Headcanons:

All the info related to places and clans is from the canonic lore of Eberron, or from interpretations that i’ve found here and there, and also a bit of my own homebrew lore. I’m gathering all the info and sources in my WorldAnvil page so you can check it out if you want :)

And this is the map with notes so you can pin all the locations.

This time I chose to put only the info relevant to the characters to make the post shorter. But still, this will be a LONG post so be prepared xD

Founding of the Akatsuki Fellowship

All the members of the party met in Sharn, the biggest city of the continent of Khorvaire. They were there for different reasons but ended up travelling together across the world.

Sasori the poison master

Sasori’s mother was a Talenta halfling. She and her family travelled to Gatherhold often to commerce with other tribes and foreigners.

There she met Sasori’s father, a medic from House Jorasco who was serving in a hospital in Gatherhold. They got married and months after Sasori was born.

Gatherhold is the biggest city in the Talenta Plains and the main enclave of the nomadic Talenta tribes, but halflings from all Khorvaire gather and make business there.

Sasori was born into the Jorasco House but was raised by his maternal family in Gatherhold. He learned the ways of the Talenta halflings and was given a Swindlespitter in his rite of passage, who he named Hiruko.

Swindlespitters are small sized dinosaurs with poisonous spit, that steal and eat other dinosaurs’ eggs. Talenta halflings craft masks to represent their bond with their mount, and they believe their spirits unite when they wear them. Sasori carved his mask in wood as it was typical from his tribe.

Short after bonding with Hiruko, his Mark of Healing appeared and Sasori was sent to Vedykar (Karrnath), the main enclave of House Jorasco, to learn medicine and alchemy. There he was tutored by his paternal grandmother Chiyo.

Sasori had a strong connection with his Mark of Healing, which made him a quick learner and proficient student in various medical fields. Even though he was doing great academically, Sasori was lonely and missed his parents, so Chiyo taught him the art of poison-making in an attempt to bond with her grandkid.

But Sasori’s loneliness took a toll on him and soon his feelings for House Jorasco and its medical monopoly began to sour. This made him start looking for new approaches to medicine.

Karrnath employs undead soldiers controlled by the Blood of Vol necromancers. And even though now this religion is looked down upon the Five Nations, Karrnath remains the stronghold of their faith and practitioners of its dark magic are seen in the streets of Vedykar.

Sasori encountered some Blood of Vol Seekers and quickly took interest in necromancy, their dark arts and the promise of immortality.

With this new reprehensible interest mixed up with his animosity towards House Jorasco, Sasori was distrusted amongst his peers and he ultimately left Vedykar.

Atur is a city of culture and arts, and has the largest worship site of the Blood of Vol in Khorvaire. In this city, the living and dead coexist in a daily basis.

Sasori settled in Atur for a while. There he studied the secrets of necromancy, even though he never showed interest in the Blood of Vol faith, and developed his medical skills to the point of becoming a master in poisons and drugs.

During one of his experiments he lost his right leg, and travelled to Korth to obtain a mystical engineered prosthesis from House Cannith. There he met the Warforged and got interested in their technology.

In the Last War, House Cannith produced the Warforged, mindless automatons made of wood and steel, but the use of magic turned them into fully sentient soldiers that can feel pain and emotion. Now they are considered people and have free will.

Back in Atur, he began to research about the Warforged to see if he could implement a similar technology to the dead and the living to make them more efficient. This lead him to apply to The True Shapers to study the art of woodcraft and forging.

The True Shapers is House Thuranni academy of crafts. This school rivals with House Phiarlan’s The Shapers, but The True Shapers is considered the best of its kind. (See Itachi and Kisame’s post for more info about the elven houses rivalry)

Sasori studied in The True Shapers for some time. But using necromancy and dark magic for crafting theater props was not of the like of his instructors, so he was invited to leave the academy and search a place where he could make a better use of his artistic skills.

He then travelled to Sharn, where he worked briefly for House Jorasco in the upper city hospital facilities before starting his own business.

He opened an atelier named The Puppeteer, in the Callestan district. He worked closely with the halfling Boromar clan, crafting poisons and artifacts for the cartel on demand, but he was also open to any other independent customers and criminal organizations.

Sasori became a great asset for all those who wanted to make deals with the Boromar or the Jorasco but were on their black list, like the smugglers and bounty hunters of House Tarkanan, or for those who just wanted to acquire a flask of dreamlily (drug).

With his many connections to important organisations, Sasori had eyes and ears in every House of Sharn yet he often visited The Shadowkeeper (who he well knew was a safe house for Thuranni spies and assassins) to catch up with what was going on outside of the city, and particularly in Atur.

Deidara the firecracker

Deidara's parents lived in a small village of Thrane. His birth was influenced by infernal powers and so he was born a Fernia planetouched tiefling.

Fernian tieflings’ abilities are tied to fire, their skin is fiery red or orange and warm to the touch, and when they grow angry the ambient temperature rises. Fernian tieflings are fiery and passionate, with an innate love for seeing things destroyed by flame.

His poor human parents, scared of their newborn child turned to The Church to seek help. The Church of the Silver Flame is the most extended religious community in Khorvaire and has its capital in Flamekeep (Thrane).

Though they believe in compassion and charity, the goal of the Church is to destroy all evil in the world and for that they employ any means they deem necessary, such as extermination.

The Church sees tieflings as potential threats if their power is not properly tamed, and so they established the tiefling community of Rellekor. Rellekor is a haven for planetouched tieflings where they are raised and taught to control their magic, but also a place to keep them away from the regular population.

When human families give birth to a tiefling, they will usually deliver them to The Church, who in turn will send them to Rellekor. That’s what happened to Deidara.

Deidara never met his parents, haven been raised and trained in Rellekor since he can remember, and was too boisterous for anyone to want to take him under their wing. So he never had anyone to look up to.

As a Fernian tiefling it was really hard for him to follow the path of light of the Silver Flame, and so he was constantly being grounded and chased around by the Templars for making things combust.

He was a mischievous kid with too much passion for fire and explosions, and so they named him "Firecracker Deidara".

But growing up, he took a liking for crafts and so he started studying pottery. His tutors were relieved to see that he had found a hobby that wasn't potentially destructive... until Deidara found a way to mix his sculptures with his fiery magic and called it art.

Thanks to his new explosive art, Deidara’s tutors reprimended him even more often, and this, far from making him embrace the path of light, made him see Rellekor's authorities with disdain and his behavior worsened.

Feeling trapped in the tiefling city, he decided to travel to Thaliost where he enrolled in The Shapers, House Phiarlan’s academy of crafts. He saw The Shapers as a way to escape from his life in Rellekor and maybe purchase the artistic career he dreamed of.

Deidara avidly studied the art of pottery in The Shapers, and even though he was a great potter, his artistic approach was too revolutionary for the academy and he was given the option to leave his explosions or leave The Shapers.

He then travelled to Atur in an attempt to enroll in The True Shapers, but received the same recommendation from his previous academy and thus his application was denied when he refused to abandon his fiery art.

Forever mad at the Thuranni for refusing him without giving his art an opportunity, Deidara left Atur in a hurry after burning down the reception hall of The True Shapers.

Being rejected from the best craftmanship academies and not wanting to return to Rellekor’s suffocating system, he wandered through many cities and villages of Khorvaire until he arrived in Sharn.

In Sharn he tried to make art for a living but few people were interested in his unstable creations. This, and his multiple altercations with the law and the cartels, pushed him to the lower levels of the city and ended up in the lawless Callestan district.

There he rented the tiny garret of The Shadowkeeper and made it his home and workshop... without knowing that the tavern was run by Thuranni elves.

-------------

We have the first four members of the party!! Now i need the other four to show up too ;)

#naruto #akatsuki #sasori #sasori akasuna #deidara #au! akatsuki d&d #d&d #dungeons and dragons #eberron #dnd character #my art #We have the first four members of the party!!#Now i need the other four to show up too!#so i know i said i was going to post kakuzu and hidan after itachi and kisame but i wanted to draw deidara so bad #so i ended up posting them first hahahaha #next will be kakuzu and hidan!#and then konan and nagato!#i'm still very unsure about these two bc they will be a bit weird and complex so we will see #kakuzu and hidan are really interesting! and i've discovered new canon lore for them so i'm really happy about their characters!#i also loved to draw dino hiruko!#in this au sasori is not a puppeteer per se but he is interested in dominating the dead and this kind of necromancer stuff #deidara is a rebellious artist and sasori sticks with the academia #i hope you like this designs #and tysm if you read all the headcanons!!!#i know they are long but i really enjoy sharing them with you!

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ladykissingfish · 3 years

Text

Konan: Isn’t dating Sasori kind of a pain sometimes?

Deidara: What do you mean?

Konan: Well, you’re such a free spirit, and Sasori strikes me as being a hardcore perfectionist. Seems as though you’d clash a lot.

Deidara: Well, Danna IS a perfectionist, hm, but I make that work in my favor.

Konan: How?

Deidara: Well, I —

Sasori, down the hall: Deidara! It’s practice time!

Deidara, to Konan: He’s a really talented kisser, but the first time we kissed,I told him that his technique could use some work, hm. Now every single night he calls me to his room and we make out for hours.

Konan: That’s — um —

Sasori: Brat! Don’t keep me waiting!

Deidara, leaving, to Konan: The first time we have sex, I plan to tell him that he’s terrible at it, hm.

#sasodei #sasori x deidara #sasori #deidara #konan #the akatsuki #naruto

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dctcnation-moved · 4 years

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.Free Spirit.

Deidara has always followed his own path, no matter what the consequences of that path are. He left his village behind, if he couldn’t practice his art there, if he couldn’t be accepted for what he wanted to do and what he had already done, he would go elsewhere to do it.

Never did he hold any interest in the Akatsuki and their petty wars or goals. All he has ever wanted to was to make art, practice his art. He was practically forced to join and he only stays because he is afraid of what they will do if he tries to leave and they do allow him a way to practice his art. They won’t throw him in jail for his art, in a way they accept him.

There are times though, when he looks at the lives of other ninjas, those non rogues, and wonders if they realize just how good they have it. To be accepted without the need for defiance. To be restricted in creative freedom is something he will never accept, no matter what that means to other people.

#headcanon tag pending #HEADCANON TIME #i feel like this one isn't complete but you get the idea!#personals don't interact #not an rp post don't reblog

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peepingtoad · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / 50-50 (There’s a lot of love and a lot of hate, but I think many are actually pretty neutral on him too!)

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / 50-50 (I’d say he may be an... acquired taste? Of course a lot of people I know here find him sexie so it’s hard to say for certain, heh. We may just be the weirdos of the fandom :P )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO

Are they underrated? YES / NO (Not in terms of ability, but underrated for just how complex and multi-layered he is, I’d say)

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO /

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (I honestly think he’s a man of many reputations, both in canon and in fandom :’D)

How strictly do you follow canon? — I’m very much a ‘use the bones of what we got in canon and do my best to flesh them out’ kinda roleplayer. There are some things that can be taken too easily at face value that I see fit to build upon. For example, I think Jiraiya’s feelings on the prophecy and his relationship with Konoha is something that could be too easily played off as simplistic, or like they were immovable constants. But that’s unrealistic for a man of his years and many experiences, so I try to put myself in his emotional setting at various points in his life, and trace how his feelings and behaviours change, if that makes sense?

I try to avoid saying that any of the writing was straight up wrong because it’s disrespectful to the creator. But especially for Jiraiya, who had such a significant role to play in the narrative that it sometimes took precedence over his actual character, I do find some of his actions, and the way some interactions were handled in the canon to be a little OOC... so I’ll work with it and try to spin it in a way that I feel fits how he was characterised.

Basically, I’d say that I follow canon, but I like to enrich it in areas that were lacking detail or a nuanced view that took in all the surrounding events of the time. After Jiraiya’s canon death, of course, that’s when more divergence comes in to my portrayal... otherwise I wouldn’t be able to play any post-war scenarios! But the essence of his character is the same, which I try to keep as close to canon as possible.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — A man of many experiences! You can bet that any topic that comes up, he’ll have some sort of amusing anecdote to share, or be able simply to talk shit about it. He's seen so much, and has a sensitive soul enough that he’ll give anyone a chance; he’s very open-minded and non-judgemental, and honestly is a humanitarian that wants to help those in need. Might leave your muse a little baffled as to how he could hold the status of ‘legend’, only to show it when they least expect it. You never quite know what you’re going to get with him: he’s generous and selfless, yet has many vices that seem selfish at times; he’s both a lover and a fearsome fighter; he’s immensely resilient at the same time as incredibly vulerable and damaged; he’s a himbo and a bit of a jock with the soul of a poet. Love him with no restraint and invite his love in return, and you’ll get not only a lover, but a devotee. Wears his heart on his sleeve... or does he? Chip away at him and find out!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — The pervy, flirty, jokey schtick could get grating, or come across as disingenuous. In romantic situations, he’ll keep quiet about putting a label on whatever it is, and beneath his overall sweetness and devotion there may be an underlying reek of commitment issues and a fear of admitting he is afraid. He also has a habit of deflecting negativity in general, and playing things off as if they don’t matter or they’re a joke, making him actually rather a difficult person to get to know the heart of. One might feel as if they’re getting nowhere with him...

... Either that, or they get the complete opposite. Yes, as equally as he can be guarded, he can overshare like crazy, and has a tendency to become codependent with those he gets attached to, which is inconsistent with his free-spirited nature, and how adept he is at keeping others at arm’s length from his less sunny side. This inconsistency might make him seem unreliable—if the fact he’s always off who-knows-where doesn’t do the trick already.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — I’ve been a big fan of the Sannin ever since I first read the Deadlock, but being a very young person at the time I perhaps couldn’t relate enough to people who had experienced so much to do them justice in my teenage fic-writing endeavours, so I remained on the sidelines enjoying content by other people (there may also have been a little bit of ‘what the fuck, why do I dig the old dude so much’ denial in there haha). I’ve picked up and dropped my obsession with the series several times over the years, and my love for those three seemed to grow each time. They really are ‘the lost generation’, and as the sole survivors—alongside having a huge impact on the plot, how the shinobi world is shaped, and the three main protagonists—there’s a lot of juicy material there, a lot of emotional background, along with decades of history that basically goes untapped in the canon.

Anyway, I digress. Coming to the Naruto RPC for the first time around this time 2 years ago at the age of 25, I made this blog and my Deidara one on a whim, but focused on the latter at first. Villains were always comfortable territory for me in my other RP experiences, and I think it made me doubt that I could possibly do someone who is frankly a lovely guy any justice, no matter how much I loved him. I even had the intention of making him fully Akatsuki/Missing-Nin AU at first. Yeah. That’s how stuck in my villain/anti-hero zone I was! But, I think in the end, the fact he actually isn’t a two-dimensional typical ‘hero’ was something I chewed over and realised would be incredibly enriching to write, worth stepping out of my comfort zone for. And being a little more mature and less angst-ridden myself by that point, I found I could resonate with his feelings and ideals in a way that I know I couldn’t have as a teen... but I was still tentative.

Anyway, after leaving his blog empty for a bit (with its placeholder URL ‘frogdaddy’, which sadly got hoarded by someone else), I cosplayed the old bastard, along with my partner as Orochimaru. We’d been stanning that particular ship and talking about how great the Sannin are in general for quite some time by that point, but being casually in character for fun while drunk off my tits at a boat party, was a bit of an epiphanic moment. Not long after that, I threw myself right into writing this chaotic-good old bastard with gusto, and here I still am :’)

What keeps your inspiration going? — Taking breaks to recharge as and when I need to. Seriously. The death of all my other blogs has been pressure (mostly from myself) to be there and force myself to put out regular content, so I went into this not thinking that way and it’s really helped!

Of course, there’s also the fact that there simply seems to be no shortage of areas I can delve into with this guy. Again, it’s his age and all the missing years in canon... but I think it’s also how much love he has and his genuine eagerness to engage with others that makes him one of the most naturally bountiful muses I’ve played. Because honestly? Most of my villain muses wanted people to just fuck off :’D this guy is open to everything.

That aside, I guess I just gel with him more than I ever expected to. I’ve changed a lot as a person and gained more confidence since various areas of my life got better, and I really just vibed with this chill, funny, romantic, pervy, big-hearted energy. I enjoy angst, but my real love is peppering the serious and heartbreaking with romance and comedy—and isn’t that just befitting of him? Writing through his eyes also helps to keep my outlook positive, so that keeps me stuck on him as much as the seemingly limitless content potential.

And this is without even going into my cross-fandom AU ideas I have on the back-burner. Honestly, they’re there but I want to put a real effort into them while keeping his essence the same, which for some, involves brushing up on my lore!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO / RARELY. (depends on whether I get a flash of inspiration—which mostly comes with random asks that happen to stir up an idea for a scene, such as this one (NSFW warning))

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / 50-50 /NO. (I tend not to take things personally but am also very passionate—call it my innate Leo-ness!)

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — Hmmm. I haven’t actually had any critique on my portrayal, so I’m not sure haha! I’d say if it’s constructive, then I’ll take it into account and consider it, especially if it’s a case where it helps me realise I’ve perhaps not gotten across what I intended to very well. But I’m also quite fond of my portrayal in its essence, so I may end up just thanking the person for their opinion and carry on as usual :P

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — Absolutely! I’ve had some wonderful ones recently and it’s exactly the kick I need to get ideas out, some of which I’ve had on the back-burner but not had a framework within which to write it without it getting derailed. I definitely appreciate a question that will keep me at least a little on-topic, otherwise if I go off on my own volition I really tend to... well, go off! Even if a question is a similar topic to something I’ve already done, it’s a good exercise for me to go back to the similar headcanon and see if I can build further on it, deviate, and link it to show what past thoughts I’ve been working with. A great way of keeping some consistency in my portrayal while making improvements, I find! And then of course I’ve had some questions that are entirely new morsels for thought, and it leads me to something new and fresh, which I greatly appreciate.

Basically, any questions at all, fire away! I may take a while but I will get to them eventually!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — Yeah. I mean I think it’s just polite to present a reason as to why not, instead of just being like ‘this is wrong/a bad take’ or whatever. Source material is down to personal interpretation, so if I draw different ideas from it to another person after discussion, then we can simply agree to disagree on it.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — They are welcome to disagree with me I guess? So long as they’re respectful and don’t then treat me as if my interpretation is ‘AU’ or talk about ‘canon Jiraiya’ as if he’s obviously a different entity to my own, then disagree away. But if prompted enough, know that I will most likely defend my portrayal with what I consider to be justification from the source material :P I did pay close attention to it, after all, and I do consider my portrayal to align well with it.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — Depends on the nature of it and the conduct, really? Like, people are allowed to dislike characters. I myself find a couple of characters pretty annoying or don’t particularly care for them (granted, usually it’s in a love-to-hate or simply a ‘this character doesn’t interest me’ way), but that doesn’t affect how I behave towards the RPer of a character. It’s just manners, really. People tend to RP characters because they like them, so why would you take negativity right to their doorstep, in this space they’ve made as an expression of enjoyment for, and to develop said character?

There’s been some people who admitted to me that they didn’t care much for Jiraiya, but then began to like him more with my portrayal and that’s more than fine; I take it as the highest compliment in fact. It’s also the kind of open-minded attitude I like to have with portrayals of characters I don’t necessarily like or have much interest in, because by and large, people do tend to add more depth and nuance than the busy and character-packed canon allowed.

However, if it’s the type of hate that’s got its own devoted circle of bitter bitches, who seem to use so much energy hating a character... then please, don’t engage me. Doesn’t matter who the character is, don’t expect me to follow/keep following your negative ass if it’s constant on the dash—and if the target character is any of the Sannin then frankly I’ll have probably blocked/blacklisted in a heartbeat. The ‘critical’ views of them tend to diminish them as humans, diminish the context and events that surrounded their choices, and in a way that I find is a gross double standard compared to what people will allow other (read: young, attractive, fandom faves, ‘babies’ or ‘beans’) to get away with and excuse the behaviours of. I don’t need that kinda negative energy sullying my hobby, nor do I need moral superiority that isn’t applied consistently across the board.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — Absolutely! I meticulously fret and check, and cringe when I get a reply and happen to spot errors while rereading what I wrote before it! I edit a lot but don’t always pick up on errors, so I’m more than happy to have it pointed out. Chances are, I’ll be far more brutal to myself about it than anyone else would be!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — Overall, yeah. I’m not possessive or clingy (I don’t think) and don’t expect the world from people, nor for them to focus on or favour me or be super fast. I just expect the same respect in return. Having said that, I will express it when I don’t like something or it makes me uncomfortable, provided we’re familiar enough, because if we’re strangers I’d feel like I was coming across as entitled to your energy and emotional labour. I do my best to be diplomatic about it though, and rest assured it doesn’t mean I’m forever mad at you or turned off in any way just because I have a small grievance. I just find that being honest with each other rather than letting things pile up and fester makes a friendship more solid, and basically more genuine and long-lasting.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @dokuhebi Tagging: Whoever hasn’t done this yet!

#this got super long yikes #{dash games}#{ooc}#{long post}

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suspiciouslandlady · 4 years

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Fuck, Marry, Kill: Deidara, Sasori and Gaara c:

YOU LITTLE SHIT OH GOD! You know how much I love these boys.... 😭How tf am I supposed to kill one of them?? RUDE. Ughhh. This is so much harder than the villain version you sent me some months ago...

Also I assume Gaara here is over 18 because dawg no if he’s from the first series or Shippuuden 😂

Fuck: Deidara Marry: Gaara Kill: Sasori

Fuck Deidara because I feel like marrying him would be the biggest mistake lmao he’s a free spirit and his ultimate jutsu is literally one big suicide. I can imagine that he doesn’t even have time for anything else except occasional one-night stands. He’s a busy boi with his art.

Marrying Gaara because this boy needs so much love but also he needs his shit together or else rip me. Though in shippuuden he’s calmed down and stuff. Poor baby I’ll love you to bits.

Killing Sasori because in the end he’s a puppet without feelings and probably would turn me into a puppet as well pffft. Or just kill me. AND you can’t honestly really smash him because his body is like, covered with poison and that cable in his stomach? YIKES. Also I’m good at being late, Sasori would really kill me :D

Bro I hate you I DON’T WANT TO KILL ANY OF THEM. Sorry Sasori I love you so much please forgive me 😭 You deserved so much better than what Shippuuden did to you.

#ask #answer #2jesterprince4 #you're a really cruel person you know that????#You just HAD TO send this to me #even when you know HOW MUCH I LOVE ALL OF THEM????#Cruel :/#:DDD

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kaknzn · 6 years

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My contribution for KakuHida Week! Theme: Crossover!

@kakuhidaweek

♥ Hidan had been grown on the stories of the gods. He’d learned from a young age not to cross fairy circles, and the importance of a name. Hidan had been taught incantation, and he had been given the talent to use it. His often overflowing home with baubles, beakers, brewing cauldrons, and old leather bound books spoke back to a time where he had been much younger.

♥

Full Fic Under the Cut or Read it on Ao3 Or DeviantART!

Hidan had been grown on the stories of the gods. He’d learned from a young age not to cross fairy circles, and the importance of a name. Hidan had been taught incantation, and he had been given the talent to use it. His often overflowing home with baubles, beakers, brewing cauldrons, and old leather bound books spoke back to a time where he had been much younger. A beautiful witch with white hair and eyes like asters, she had taken him out to her garden and shown him the little people under the leaves of the pumpkin plants.

“Brownies,” his mother told him with a giggle. “They don’t like to be noticed, hush,” she put her finger to her lips, and he had watched with wide eyes and an open mouth while they pulled weeds and carted them away. These little people built their furniture from his discarded toys, fixed his broken crafts, and kept his messy room immaculate. All they ever seemed to want from him was a bowl of cream, and a little sugar. The day they left, Hidan had missed them, and looked in their tiny home to find all of the lost and shiny trinkets that they had felt valuable enough to keep. As he touched the cool surface of a marble with his little finger, he came to the realization that things discarded could still be of great significance.

His mother had taught him when he was young that humans were not the only things with two legs that walked their earth; sometimes creatures of many legs, feet, paws, and abundant hands were behind the shadows enmasse if you looked for them. They knew about kindness in an intimate way that humans just could not always grasp. His mom had told him about a great many things before she died. When she was young, and living at the edge of the woods, often her gardens bloomed brightest when she had opened her gates to the lost and wandering spirits on the road.

“Be careful with spirits Hidan. They’re tricky things sometimes. There are all manner of things in this world that will lead you down paths winding through the wilds, and you’ll never come back home again.” She told him.

‘It sounds like exactly where I want to be,’ he’d thought to himself, grasping the pendant on his chest. The inverted triangle within a protective circle, denoted in silver, and gifted to him from a man that reached down to him through the red rain. Hidan knew more than most about spirits, gods, and demons. He had been loved by things ghosted away by the wind, and loved things in return in a way that made them dwindle and die. Hidan had a hand of death, and things he tried to grow would wilt away. When he was in his mid twenties he found he was not a human at all; shinigami were not often born of the earth, but it seemed Hidan was different. Because of this, humans were dangerous to care about, he’d learned. Things that died after a handful of tens of years were just not for him.

With thunder that would roll like roiled waves on the ocean, and clouds that took the shapes of many reaching hands from hades, Jashin had plucked this boy from the edge of his home and loved him. He’d taught him that he was on the edge of life and death itself. His mother had given him the gift to walk the line of shinigami. Through the eyes of a god, Hidan learned what life and death meant. He had seen vast expanses of trees at the beginning of time, and he had seen old and crumbling train stations, he’d learned about doors to nowhere, and passages out of time.

Jashin had blessed him. His mother had taught him. And Kakuzu would _test him._

In the peak of one of the hottest summers Hidan had ever encountered in his many long years, he’d had to deal with an abundance of humans coming down into his valley outside of Safflower city. They brought him offerings of bread (home-made), stones, wreaths, and even money. They all had their complaints about the heat-- surely it had to be an angering of spirits, they complained. From his experience, spirits didn’t mess around turning up the heat of an entire city unless they had a serious vendetta. As long as he’d lived on the outskirts of Safflower, never had he seen anything more than wanderers and witches. There were gnomes aplenty, and sometimes trolls, and deer with human faces, but he’d never seen anything powerful enough to turn up the sun. Some time ago, they’d even gotten their own resident witch.

Oh-- that definitely had been some time ago. They’d left behind their familiar in their passing as well. The cat had made his home in Hidan’s, chasing brownies and mice. While Hidan listened to the woes of the human from the city, Scorpion, the old ginger tom-cat would hop himself up into the window to turn his yellow eyes up to the crystalline webs of spiders. So long as Scorp was calm, Hidan found he didn’t need to be suspicious of the people in his home.

It wasn’t until a priest, Deidara, came to his small stretch of land, that Scorp arched his back and hissed, his fur bristling harshly and his claws making lines in the dirt. The little people in his pumpkin patch scurried away. The soot sprites in the door of his home cowered back and dropped their stones and herbs. Hidan clicked his tongue with a tsk as their spell came undone in the presence of a priest. Often magic that used ingredients from the shadows couldn’t stand up against holy men, but something didn’t seem quite right.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” the priest said, his blond hair falling down over his shoulders as it had been picked up by a rare and fleeting breeze. “I’ve brought you something for lunch, hm. Do you mind if we have a chat?” If sunshine were a man, he was certain it was standing before Hidan. That much spiritual light made him squint a little, but he found his stomach unable to resist the smell of basil and pumpernickel. His mouth practically watered from the thought of aged cheese on soft and fluffy bread.

“Sure. I could eat-- talk. I have time to talk,” he stuttered, gathering himself up into a more formal posture. Hidan ran a hand through his hair and beckoned the priest into his home. “Pruinae,” he whispered to the rune in his doorway, and frosty wind chased the heat out of the walls and through the open window. Scorp followed at Hidan’s ankles and grumbled a hiss out at the priest that had crouched down to offer affection with an outstretched hand.

The inside of Hidan’s home was well kept, even if it took him a good ten minutes of rearranging the alembics, beakers, and cauldrons of various broiling substances and sizzling spells to get room for lunch on the table. Some reacted more violently than others to the presence of the holy man-- a simpler spell for a cleaning sprite tried to climb up his arm, and Hidan could feel himself bristle with the raw energy against his skin. It felt like his hair was standing on end as he hastily brushed the spell back into the jar it belonged in and shoved a cork in it.

“What brings you out into the valley? Are you here to bullshit me about spirits making it hot?”

“No, hm,” the priest sat down at the table, disappointed that the cat wanted nothing to do with him. He pulled out a loaf of bread and set it in front of him, and proceeded to slice up pieces of cheese, along with tomato. He unpackaged some meat from the butcher, and hummed a little tune as he worked. Hidan pulled open his cupboards as he listened to Deidara’, his finger running along the labels of several bottles.

“This is going to sound a little strange, hm.”

“I doubt it,” Hidan said under his breath. He pulled a bottle of bubbling red liquid from the shelf. Inside the glass confines, it swirled with a certain glimmer that was strongly reminiscent of blood; Hidan pulled the cork with his teeth, and spat it into his hand. He paused for a second to inhale the deep scent of raspberry and wild cherries. The bottle overflowed with an ethereal mist, and Hidan poured two glasses of the sanguine appearing liquid.

“The church, I think, is haunted by a demon.”

“What--?!” Hidan nearly dropped his glasses, fumbling with the bottle in the process. Without enough arms to hold it all, the liquid careened toward the floor. “Vitae; luculentam et bene servetur,” he commanded, and before it could stain his carpet, Hidan told the liquid to lift itself and tidy back into the glasses. With his teeth on edge, he set one glass in front of Deidara with an unimpressed scowl.

“And why the fu-- why are you, a priest, coming to me about your church?” Hidan could almost be offended. It was massively a conflict of interest to him to deal with anything including christian churches. They were new in the area, to him, and all they seemed to do was sew a seed of stigma against spirits, gods, and the beyonds. “Isn’t that kind of your domain, HM? Isn’t it your job to keep your ground consecrated and demon free or something? In fact, I remember last year when I came to help out one of your flock and I couldn’t get past the threshold!”

“Are you mocking my speech impediment, hm?”

“I don’t know, are you mocking my craft, HM?” Hidan drank straight from the bottle of red liquid, a line of it dripping down his chin as he kept eye contact with the less than enthused priest at his table. Deidara blinked slowly and offered a piece of buttered bread out to Hidan.

“No… Actually, I’m serious. It started at the beginning of summer, yeah,” Deidara looked thoughtful, chewing his lunch as he cast his eyes heavenward. “I guess I started noticing something wasn’t right when the statues started to cry.”

“The statues?” Hidan asked impassively.

“Yeah hm. It was like the whole room got chilly and filled with this deep and grim sadness. It’s hard to describe.”

“THAT was the first thing you noticed?”

“Yeah.”

Hidan bit the inside of his cheek and wondered sometimes just how blind humans really were to the endeavors of the other realms.

“You can’t get rid of it because?”

“Well can you keep a secret?” Deidara leaned in and adjusted one of his sleeves up to the hem of his white glove.

“Like a vault,” Hidan replied, and leaned forward on his elbows, bread forgotten for the bits of juicy gossip. Truthfully, he’d been skeptical of Deidara since he came to the city some time ago. How long ago had that even been? It had to have been years by now.

“I’m not really a priest,” Deidara revealed. “I didn’t even believe in ghosts until it started messing with the statues and the bibles--” Hidan could tell he was at least partially lying. “--Ripping them to shreds hm. Well see, the priest that lived there before-- he kind of entrusted the church to me and I really owed him one.”

“Jashin help me,” Hidan muttered under his breath. He placed his face in his hands and prayed for strength from his own god. “This city is full of blasphemers and heathens. No respect for the sanctity of death.” The holy light emitted by a false priest; it was no wonder a familiar wanted nothing to do with Deidara.

“You’re so bad at your damn job your church is haunted by a demon,” Hidan told Deidara firmly. “You should retire,” he spat, then stood up and grabbed what looked like an old farmer’s sickle from a rack beside his door. He knew the grip of the handle like an old friend, and it thrummed in tune with him with the voice of a lover, too intimate with carnage. Though it looked like an old sickle now, when the circumstances were right, it would reveal its true form for Hidan, and they would reap whatever stood before them.

Hidan didn’t care for demons. They were a nasty lot, tricky like the fae, and self serving without remorse for fiendish actions. Hidan had cleansed his share of demons that were more trouble than they were worth. This sounded like a petty little thing looking for any sort of attention it could get. What better way to stir up a ruckus than to haunt a church? It likely wasn’t even a demon at all. Just a wayward spirit without anything better to do.

Hidan walked out passed the garden and looked down the road to the city. Beyond the buildings, he could see dark clouds gathering and building into towers of cotton grey. The heat of the day had broken to a chilly wind that rolled the grass. Even the brownies had taken shelter. Perhaps he was wrong.

As he attached his scythe to his back, the phony priest appeared in his doorway again, looking out toward the gathering anger in the sky.

“Demons aren’t really so bad it seems, hm,” Deidara sighed. “It’s just starting to freak people out n’ all. I dunno. I asked it to leave and that made everything worse.”

“Of course it did, you have no idea what you’re doing. You could have got yourself cursed you know? The gods of death aren’t very forgiving to people who pretend to be what they’re not and scam others. seriously,” Hidan snapped. Maybe he was getting a little old and a little tired of humans assuming they knew what was best for things that were out of their control.

“Oh it’s far too late for that. We all have our own curses to bear.”

“Don’t you mean “Crosses”?” Hidan asked, one of his brows lifting quizzically.

Deidara shook hands with Hidan, a tongue darting out of his palm to lick between Hidan’s fingers, sending a shiver up his spine that made him want to leave his corporeal form behind.

“I don’t think I do,” Deidara whispered back to Hidan, who became further unnerved when something underneath Deidara’s shirt giggled at him.

---

Wild in his frenzy, Kakuzu stalked toward the doors of the church and hissed when his skin began to fade into translucent obscurity. Parts of him became the floating specs of dust in the sunlight, dispersing to settle on the pews. After thousands of years of being in power, it had come down to the last of his temples crumbling to ruin. The last place he had to call home had been destroyed in an earthquake that cast it down into the ocean. The scripture in scrolls, the remaining gold coins, all of his treasured belongings and books had been washed into the sea. There wasn’t a soul left who remembered the name of the god of knowledge. It had been reclaimed by the earth that gave rise to him.

How ironic.

The way humans had advanced, they didn’t need to commune with the other side about their history. There were paleontologists, anthropologists, scientists, artists; there were libraries, there were computers and phones. Somehow in the busyness of the chaotic growth of humans, they had taken claim over his domain of learning and teaching, and had lost his name to history. Kakuzu had lived through the tragedy of book burnings, and the way humans stole and coveted knowledge like greedy little gremlins reaching for coins in the muck. They didn’t need him anymore. And how it hurt to be left behind in a world so full of knowledge. There was so much for even him to learn, and he would never get to see it.

Forgotten, his form was fading.

Desperately, Kakuzu waved his hand in front of a patron of the church and watched her shiver and close the window to return to reading her bible. And how his heart soared to watch her faith grow the more she learned. It was beautiful to see someone learn their passion for the first time, and so he stood there and savored the moment, as it likely would be one of his last times he would get to see someone discover a subject they loved.

What was truly in a name?

He could barely remember it himself. When he said it aloud at night, it felt like a lie coming off his tongue. The void in his chest would get bigger, and Kakuzu would shiver as he felt himself fading away. It had been 200 years since he’d been able to speak to anyone. That particular morning, Kakuzu was so violently frustrated with his own oncoming death that his sorrow had made the statues weep. The congregation before jesus on the cross had gasped and thought it a terrible sight. The panic raising in the crowd of their voices, he felt the sting in the unknown. He could help them understand. Kakuzu tried to reach out to the people fleeing through the doors, and became horrified as a child ran right through him, leaving a chill in his stomach.

Eventually the woman in the pews left, and he was left alone again peering out the stained glass windows. The holy ground he stood upon could only fuel the flickering fire in his soul for so long before it would be put out. He was just another light in the dark becoming smoke. He had minutes left.

Eventually even stars had to die.

His body had come unstrung, and the strings of fate inside of him spilled out onto the stone, dying as they touched the ground. His essence was gone, and Hidan found him there, weeping over the loss of his ability to perform miracles. Lost, alone, and angry-- how dare they call him a demon? He’d given them everything. He’d given them the word “history” and watched them grow.

“It’s not very often I get to witness the death of a god,” Hidan said sympathetically, and planted himself on the floor beside the threads that lost their gold, withered to grey, and melted into dust.

“You’re--” Kakuzu croaked, his voice drying with the efforts to sustain his form. “A shinigami, yeah. Don’t worry. I haven’t gotten your name or anything. I don’t think I’m supposed to collect your soul. Just a complaint from the local rabble about some crying statues.”

“You can--”

“I can see you just fine. You’re in a bit of a sorry state though. What’s your name?”

Kakuzu felt hope soar through him and he opened his mouth to speak but found… he had no memory of it. His name died on the tip of his tongue, and Hidan scowled looking up at the obnoxious cross and man that towered over them. Not fair. Everyone knew who Jesus was. Everyone knew Death. Everyone knew Fate. But that was how the world worked. When gods were forgotten, they died. It had meant that not even the gods had left this one to perish.

“Why are you here then?” Hidan asked, and set his hand on Kakuzu’s back.

“I have nowhere else,” he confessed. “When I try to leave… it hurts.”

“You’re prolonging the inevitable,” Hidan said sternly, but it garnered no response from the form before him. He’d always been taught about the importance of accepting death, but then, he’d never had to be on the other end of his scythe. He’d only ever been the one to take the hands of the dying and help them reach out to the spirits on the other side. Death was always tragic, and abundant. How many hands of starving wartorn children had he held and watched the fireflies with?

It was different when a god died. They didn’t have an afterlife, they didn’t exist with the same rules as humans did, as a soul within a body. They were whole, and holy. There was no physical or spiritual barrier. This was their before, their present, their after. There would be no second chances, no heaven, no hell. Hidan was at the crux of the end of something ancient, and he had no words of wisdom to make it any easier.

“What god were you?” He asked quietly, and watched the light inside of Kakuzu slowly die away.

“I don’t remember,” Kakuzu replied and looked glumly at his hand as it disappeared. What a miserable way to die. Something inside of Hidan made him inhale his anger and choke on it. The sorrow in the room was palpable, and that’s what he blamed for the welling of tears in his eyes that gathered on his cheeks, and dared to slide down and drip off his chin. His heart would break for this dying god. This would be him one day. Would his death be this lonely too? The injustice of this death made him want to defy everything that he had been taught about the definite line that everyone had to cross. Why would fate send a reaper without the order to collect?

His attention was drawn to the corner of the room, where the floorboards were parted to give way to something living, coming up from the soil beneath the church. How stubborn nature was to defy the constructs of the people around it. There had been a time when the forests had revolted so violently against the settlement of humans. The gods then had died to defend a home that gave way to an uncertain future. There were paths at times even that lead to hungry towns that ate souls because they couldn’t have one, where nature was so angry about being taken over that it tried to claim the lives around it back. The clash of human and nature had led to a lot of evil, and to Hidan it seemed truly evil that this entity wept beside him, nearly alone.

Like the dandelion cutting through the floorboards, this god was stubbornly alive, clinging to the last spark of himself.

“So there is death, there also is life,” a voice in the back of his head reminded him. He couldn’t stand it anymore.Being unafraid of taking risks is what had made Hidan good at his job in the first place. He decided to reach into the depths of the dying god beside him with fingers outstretched and yearning to touch that dying light. His hand slipped through the god’s back, into his chest, and found the tiny doomed glow inside of him.

The god’s soul looked like an ocean.

It wasn’t something Hidan was expecting, to open his eyes again and look up through the waves of rippling light as pages sank through the water to disappear into the pit below. Above him, a school of little red fish swam passed; the daughters of the moon, as beautiful as ever. Somewhere in the vast, and cold unknown of the unexplored, there had to be a name.

‘What is your name?’ He asked into the darkness, though his voice came from his heart, not his throat.

‘I don’t know,’ the darkness replied, and an eerie stillness came over the sun illuminated waves. It wanted him to move toward the surface, but the surface was not where names were kept. As he did with so much of his life, Hidan gripped his scythe and walked down a path into darkness. Like his mother warned him, letting his essence into the soul of a dying god was an endeavor he might not return from. If the god died before Hidan could rescue his name, they would die together. It was a risk he was willing to take.

‘You need to tell me, it’s the only way I can help you,’ Hidan pushed deeper, finding the water give way to smoke and choking flames. This must have been when humanity had started to forget him.

‘They burned my libraries.’ A voice wept.

‘It’s not your fault,’ Hidan replied.

‘I let them.’

‘You loved them. You wanted them to love you too.’

‘They didn’t. Facts aren’t kind.’ That was true. Humanity didn’t like facts.

Hidan frowned and pushed through the smoke. It was no wonder that the ocean was so dark. Humans craved knowledge, but they didn’t care where it came from. This god had found his love in the pages of books, in the light of people learning. He’d become rich in the bounties of their discoveries. Over time, they stopped thanking him. They became ungrateful. The smarter people got, the more ignorant they truly grew sometimes.

Hidan continued forward, backward through history. He watched as whales above his head became larger and more profound. Creatures swam beneath him that had been dead for millions of years. There were gates that no longer opened, realms that no longer existed, Hidan balked at how ancient this god was. The tragedy of his fading into obscurity compounded the colder the ocean became around him. Before there were people, before consciousness, the original gods that had put the worlds together and opened up realms between creatures. This god was never born of another. He was an original. An offspring of the universe. He was timeless, turning to dust in a church with a phony priest.

When Hidan finally walked through the stars at the bottom of the ocean, he found the lonely soul with shackles around his wrists of self made doubt. They weighed him down in a place without light, where he couldn’t see his own accomplishments. There were no living creatures down here aside from the drowning boy who looked toward the surface of the water. It was clear that not only had he been forgotten by history, he had been alone long before the birth of humanity. He loved them for the curious creatures they were, bringing order to chaos. They had not loved him in return.

He had just been too much chaos for them to explain.

“What is your name?” Hidan asked one more time, his voice breaking the silence like the eruption of time itself. The stillness of the water echoed back silence as Hidan’s purple eyes stubbornly kept the gaze of the god’s green ones. Hidan could read his lips and--

And suddenly Hidan opened his eyes. Whole, and in his arms, sinking against the warmth of his affection, the god trembled at the feeling of being truly alive again.

“Your name is Kakuzu, and you are the god of knowledge,” Hidan proclaimed. “And as long as even one person knows your name, you can’t die. I won’t let you.”

---

Scorp liked Kakuzu. There still weren’t very many beings that could perceive his presence, Scorpion was one of them. Hidan had grown used to the way that Kakuzu stared at him while he read. Three weeks had passed since the incident where he had touched Kakuzu’s soul, and he was trying to ignore the way he smirked whenever he caught Kakuzu staring. He spent a long time looking at Kakuzu too. The way he wrote down little notes for things he learned, the way he helped bumble bees off the hot stone paths. There was so much love in one creature, it was a wonder to Hidan that this god presided over something as cold and technical as knowledge.

But then… Hidan had learned that there were different kinds of knowledge. There was wisdom, selective, competitive, fictional, non fictional, and the world was so vast that the possibilities were boundless. Sometimes, Kakuzu would love something new so much that wind would pick up around him and turn the pages of all his books, and knock over ink bottles and potted plants. It would ruffle Scorps fur, and he would blink contentedly before stretching his back and moving somewhere with a little more sun.

Hidan had a plan. If there was one thing he was good at, it was being obnoxious. There was a reason he lived out in a valley outside of the city, and it wasn’t for HIS peace of mind, that was for damn sure. As loud mouthed as ever, Hidan put together an informational pamphlet which could be described as a spiritual resume, he thought. He took these into the city every day, to any place that looked like it could use a little more help in the smarts department. (He’d crammed several fistfulls of these fliers into Deidara’s mailbox: “Have you heard of the god of knowledge?”)

Toting his fliers in a messenger bag, with his unimpressed little cat peeking his head out amongst the envelopes, Hidan faithfully delivered these to every house that would open their door.

“Good morning. Can I have just a minute of your time? Have you heard about the god of knowledge? No-- oh, no it’s not a religion. I’m just trying to help him out. No I’m not crazy. Well fuck you too buddy, have a nice day.” He waited until he heard the fading of footsteps, and scratched a pixie rune into the door. The jerks would be coming to him in a week. Tops.

Inevitably, this strategy worked. He had more business than he’d had in years, paying off the pixies to leave people alone after he’d sufficiently talked their ear off about Kakuzu. He talked at length about how the guy had helped humankind since they were tiny, and that while they really didn’t have to worship him, they really should be more grateful for him because without Kakuzu, they wouldn’t have the lives they had now. Most people rolled their eyes, and went back to their phones, or news papers. Kakuzu, who’d followed Hidan from house to house, thought that at the very least it was an accomplishment to get people reading.

It wasn’t until Hidan met a young blind man near the law district that he actually saw the effect of his work. The man’s name was Itachi, and he lived with his younger brother in a single story home. Fake flowers lined the windows in their kitchen, and beyond the door Hidan noticed children’s toys scattered everywhere. It was just the two of them, and despite the man being blind, he carried the toddler on his hip and kept up with the housework flawlessly… or so he thought.

There were so many brownies in the guy’s house Hidan had to be careful not to step on them, and as a preemptive strike, he zipped the messenger bag shut so Scorpion wouldn’t be tempted to chase after the creatures and piss them off. There was a dull meow from his bag, and Hidan pat it wish a stern shh! He watched the way the faithful little workers followed after Itachi and helped him pick up after Sasuke. They closed cupboards he forgot about, and carried off more than their share of fresh fruit. Though they eyed Hidan warily, stepping away from him in their instinct not to be observed, he did his best to keep them comfortable and pay them no mind.

Hidan spent the afternoon drinking badly steeped tea, and telling Itachi all about the god of knowledge. Politely, the man nodded along, but Hidan was sure he was listening more to the toddler who was chattering about the night before. How he’d been absolutely sure that there were dragons out in the sky last night. As Hidan was leaving, his shoulders sagged in fatigue at another loss, Itachi prompted his baby brother: “Wave and say bye bye, Sasuke,” he aided the boy’s hand, but Sasuke smiled and looked over Hidan’s shoulder to Kakuzu, whose head tilted back at him in confusion.

“Bye bye Kazoozoo!” As Sasuke noticed Kakuzu, so did the brownies crawling about the home. Everything went silent as they all stared at the person who hadn’t been there a moment previously.

“Um,” Kakuzu whispered his unease, and Hidan simply picked up Kakuzu’s hand and the same way Itachi had done for Sasuke, and prompted him to wave.

“Keep reading kid,” Hidan chirped, and pulled Kakuzu along to the next house.

---

Hidan didn’t truly consider his plan a success until he’d been such a pain in the ass to the entire community, that Kakuzu had trouble bumping into people when they went to the market. It wasn’t long before Kakuzu had himself a job at the library. There had been a tentative silence between him and the head librarian who had been actively denying the existence of a supposed god of knowledge since Hidan had started his endeavor.

Every time they would come across each other on the street, logical reasoning versus spiritual experiences would clash. Hidan, inevitably would head back to his little home with Kakuzu in tow, having embarrassed himself screeching about how Shikamaru was literally trying to murder Kakuzu.

“It’s like he doesn’t even care! I’m telling you! He looks right at me-- I’m not a human! I mean for shit’s sake, he talks to shadows! I know he does, I’ve seen them! They follow him around like the plague. If anyone needs your help it’s probably him! Those shadows are gonna kill him, mark my words, Kakuzu. Seriously. Are you sure he’s a genius? Because he seems pretty fucking stupid!”

Kakuzu could only smile indulgently. If there was one thing Kakuzu knew about information, was that the spread of it, true or false, could bring things into existence. Whether Shikamaru believed in him or not, enough people were beginning to know his name that soon, they wouldn’t have to listen to Hidan rambling on embarrassingly about some of his greatest accomplishments.

So when Shikamaru approached Kakuzu and told him he started work on monday, his suspicions were confirmed. Shikamaru had been able to see him since the first instance of their encounter. He’d just had too much fun messing with Hidan.

----

So it came to be that Hidan had saved the god of knowledge. Satisfied with the efforts of his savior, there were nights where Kakuzu would feel the glow of warm golden threads inside of him, and he would spin them into dreams while Hidan slept. In the darkness of the cabin, where soot sprites sorted herbs and magical ingredients, and Scorpion filled the silence with his whirring purr as he loafed himself at Kakuzu’s hip, the god would his affection into Hidan’s subconscious. The light bounced off the walls, warm, and pure, and ancient.

Each night he remembered how that hand had cradled inside his chest, and how hands that had only ever brought death, gave life. Kakuzu thought himself not easy to love. His spirit filled entire buildings, his temper shattered glass and broke spellbound spirits into chaos. He was too big to fit through doorways, he crossed fairy rings without second thoughts, and actively chased the brownies down for his coin collection… But in Hidan’s dreams, where he laid back against the grass and stared up at the lights from the calm sanctity of the bottom of the ocean, he would remember how his mother told him that those who were the most difficult to love often needed it the most. He found that a lot of things that he was taught to be wrong, and he supposed that’s how knowledge really worked. It evolved. It was a living, breathing, loving thing.

Kakuzu was easy to love, and there was definitely nobody who deserved it more in Hidan’s opinion. He was there every morning, reading. Always reading. And he was there every evening before HIdan went to sleep, with pondering eyes that shone like emeralds reflecting the stars.

Hidan was a devoted creature. To his craft, of course, but nobody would ever be able to find anyone more dedicated to the people he considered his. No two creatures had ever been made so perfectly for one another. There would always be a challenge on Kakuzu’s lips to everything Hidan considered true, and there would always be a hard headed stubbornness to argue what Kakuzu had to teach. They were alive within each other, and the nearer they came to one another, the stronger their bodies attracted. From touches, to holding hands, to silences laying side by side, curled into each other.

The first time Kakuzu kissed Hidan, with their lips colliding like light against the earth, it was like Kakuzu had taken his first deep breath of air when he’d been drowning for so long. When his hands found the small of Hidan’s back as he pressed their bodies together in the shadow of their home, Kakuzu realized he didn’t care if anyone else ever knew him. He only ever needed one person to love him.

So long as they had each other, there was no line of definite, there were no impossibilities; Hidan made his home in the greatest thing the universe had ever tried to throw away. What a home it was.

End

#KakuHida #Kakuzu #Hidan #Akatsuki #Naruto

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