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softsebnbuckystan · 3 years

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Soul ties - Part 12 (Bucky Barnes au)

“Send your dreams where nobody hides

Give your tears to the tide”

Rushing to the compound felt surreal. Sam was driving as fast as he could as you were already thinking of the most efficient way to deal with the situation. You were a doctor in biology and chemistry. Healing was a piece of cake for you. This shouldn't be any different.

"What injury did he suffer?" you asked, hiding the panic in your voice and leaving a crack in the car window to get some fresh air.

"Stab wound. It's pretty bad."

You scratched your forehead, doing your best not to give any thought to the pain Bucky was most likely going through.

"He was injected with the same serum as Steve, meaning he has the same healing process as him. One simple stab wound shouldn't be 'bad', so it has to be more than that."

Sam's grip on the stirring wheel tightened. He kept looking straight away, but he squeezed your hand once.

"Steve was freaked out. He might've overestimated the damage."

"Or underestimated. They might be super soldiers, Sam, but that doesn't make them invincible."

"I know."

"Sorry. I shouldn't be so dry. I'm just thinking. If..."

"We're almost there," he said, cutting you off. "I know the way you work, and I'm convinced you'll know what to do as soon as you see him."

The wind in your hair wasn't enough to calm you down and Sam had barely stopped the car when you opened the door and ran to the compound. You were moving so fast your throat and lungs were burning, as you were not used to such physical exercises. You'd never been shaped for the field, nor had you ever wanted to be. You barged in the lab and put your hair up in a ponytail to keep it away from your face. Bucky was lying on a metal table : you noticed he was pressing the side of his abdomen. Blood had stained his tight grey shirt. The blood on his face and shoulders, however, you concluded came from Steve carrying him. His eyes were open : good. After putting on sterilised gloves, you grabbed a pair of scissors and cut through his shirt. You hadn't even noticed Steve and Bruce's presence.

"Go, both of you," you told them as you assessed the wound, ignoring how Bucky's mouth was twisted with pain. "I've got this."

Bruce didn't need to be told twice : he trusted your skills with his life. It might have been Steve's case as well, but leaving his friend's side seemed harder for him to do.

"Steve, go. I won't be able to focus."

Your stern voice was what finally made him leave the room, closing the doors behind him. Bucky, still lying down, grabbed your wrist, staining the white gloves with red.

"It's bad, isn't it?" he asked.

"Nothing I can't fix," you assured him. You'd switched to working mode as soon as you'd seen him, but totally getting rid of your emotions wasn't the easiest thing to do.

"Your voice is shaking," he noted. "I.." – He let out a small grunt. – "Are you sure you're okay?"

You let out a sarcastic and nervous scoff. "Yeah, my voice is shaky but my hands are not. I'm the one who should ask if you're okay. Now shut up, unless I ask you something."

You didn't pay attention to his furrowed brows or confused look. The only thing you were looking for, while applying pressure to his wounds, was any particular sign of pain. He wasn't hiding it, unlike some of your teammates (Natasha came to your mind).

"It's deep," you explained. "Can you press this cloth for a second?"

He nodded and immediately got to it, allowing you to grab a scanner to see if any vital organs or blood canals had been severed. Locating the most damaged canal took you two seconds. You had no time for an anaesthesia ; you didn't have much doubt about Bucky's ability to bear pain. You used clamps to keep the wound open.

"This might itch," you said as you grabbed the electrocautery and applied it to the bleeding canal. You knew his face was contorted with pain, but you couldn't let your soft side win in those situations. Seeing people in pain was the hardest part of your job.

The rest of the surgery went on in silence, aside from Bucky's occasional grunt or sigh. Once you were done stitching the wound, you helped him sit up and bandaged the area. You wiped the sweat on your forehead with a towel, moving wet streaks of hair out of the way. Caring for this spectacular stab wound had taken around two hours, so you allowed yourself to drink some water before handing Bucky the bottle and tending to his other scratches. He probably didn't need this kind of medical assistance, but leaving him scathed was out of the picture.

"You need to hydrate yourself."

He took a long sip as you cleaned the multiple scratches he had on his right harm. His shoulder had taken the most of it, leading you to think he'd fallen from a higher place.

"What happened?" you finally asked. "I thought this was supposed to be an easy mission."

Now that you didn't need to focus as much and that the overall fear for Bucky's safety had passed, tears were threatening to come to your eyes.

"It was. Doesn't mean those guys weren't jerks."

"Bucky," – you carefully captured his chin between your fingers to make him look at you – "what happened?"

"Natasha got in harm's way. I knew she couldn't take it as good as me. It was the smart play."

"No, it was the bold, reckless way," you retorted. "You have no idea what Steve's call put me through. I thought..."

"Hey, I'm okay. Thanks to you," he whispered as he stroked your cheek. "I couldn't let them hurt someone who might've died. I knew I'd come out of this, that's why I did it."

You lowered your gaze and your eyes lingered on the numerous scars his naked torso displayed. You traced some of them with your fingers : on his collarbone, on his abdominal muscles, on his shoulders, and so on. You could tell there was a story behind each of these, and you assumed they were stories he would rather not talk about.

"I'm sorry you had to see those," he said. It was barely a whisper, so low you weren't sure you'd heard it right. "They're from my time with H.Y.D.R.A."

"Don't be sorry. Remember what you asked me about your arm?" – He nodded. – "This is no different. It's you, and that's all I care about."

You ran a hand through his hair : it'd been hardened by dried blood in some places. You closed your eyes and laid a kiss on his forehead before going to one of the cupboards to get him a lab coat. A warm sensation made its way to your stomach as you realised how easy it was being with him, how natural it seemed, how meant-to-be it felt, how...

"Wear this," you told him. "We need to do something about all this blood."

As if they'd been expecting you to come out, Steve, Nat and Sam jumped to their feet when you opened the door. Bucky tried getting up on his own as well, but you grabbed his arm just as fast.

"You might be healing fast, Sergeant Barnes, but I'm not keeping you out of my sight just yet," you joked lightly.

Bucky was holding the coat closed over his chest, his other hand squeezing your back in gratitude.

"How are you, Buck?" Steve asked.

"Good, don't worry. 'T was just a scratch."

You gave him a grave look. "It was not a simple scratch," you corrected, "but he's fine. All I ask is that you rest for today. That should be enough, with your metabolism."

"Go rest, now, or you won't hear the end of it with this one," Sam said, gesturing in your direction.

"He's right," Natasha joined in. "She's secretly quite bossy."

You smiled to her. "I have to be! None of you listen to medical advice, so I have to be assertive. It's for your own good."

"And we love you for it," Steve added with a grin. "Now go put this guy to bed."

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle lightly, making him reach for his healing wound. It was obviously still hurting a little. You finally left the others and took him to your bathroom. Your bathtub was lower than the floor, which allowed you to sit on the edge as Bucky got in, after taking off his clothes, staying in his underwear. None of you spoke a word as you washed his hair and rubbed the remaining blood off of his skin. You ended up plunging your legs in the tub and let Bucky rest his head on your knees as you ran your fingers through his hair, silence embracing you both.

"Are you still hurting?" you asked.

"Only a little." He seized one of your hands and kissed your fingers. "Thank you," he added.

"Don't thank me, I'm doing what I vowed to do."

A smile made its way to Bucky's face as he sat up and turned around. "Do you wash every single of your patients' hair?"

You shook your head. "No. That's the unexpected, coffee-spilling, caring soulmate package."

He looked hesitant for the smallest second before extending his arms, waiting for a hug.

"You're soaked," were the only words to come out of your mouth.

"Do you care? Your pants are already in the water, so..."

"Might as well," you said, finishing his sentence. You leaned on the bathtub's edge as your knees hit the bottom. Resting on your arms, you were only a few inches away from Bucky's face. You pressed your lips against his and closed your eyes, wondering what allowed it to feel so good. You didn't give a damn about your clothes anymore and they were bloody anyway, so you broke the kiss and laid in Bucky's arms, resting your head on his chest and your legs entangling. You'd made sure the water was warm enough and it still hadn't cooled off, thankfully.

"We probably shouldn't stay in here," you admitted. "We might just fall asleep and drown."

"Now that would be a shame," he agreed. "Just a few more minutes then. Please?"

You tilted your head up to look him in the eyes and smirked.

"I'll give you all the minutes you want, Buck."

--- Damn, I sure loved writing this part. I hope you liked it too! Part 13 will be the last one. :)

Tag list : @ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @bluemoon-icecream @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3 @livingonkpop @kaitieskidmore1

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #james bucky barnes #tfatws #catws #self insert #x reader #x you #x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #fluff

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qforqazaq · 5 years

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youtube

Ninety One – Men Emes

Okaaaay, people, here comes a long-awaited comeback from Ninety One that screamed, no, shouted so much culturally significant meta at me I could barely handle it. Ironically, when I was watching reactions to this MV, most people were so bloody oblivious to anything that was happening on the screen that I was painfully restraining myself not to slam my head on the table, but then remembered "oh, right, that's why I'm running this blog in the first place."

Okay, let's start with the video, shall we?

The opening scene is obviously with Alem because if 91's song doesn't start with Alem there's something definitely wrong with it.

Anyway, we have Alem looking like a mo-fo mafia boss, a Kazakh Don, if you like, in an office that's practically littered with KZ references. First, your eyes might catch those weird looking symbols on the desk, which are actually Orkhon-Yenisei runes - a script of Old Turkic tribes aka one of the direct ancestors of Kazakhs - that I was going to talk about for ages, but didn't have a good excuse to. So thank you Ninety One for bringing that up, I can unleash my inner linguistics nerd upon people regarding the subject in a separate post. The runes are actually read from right-to-left (because that's how it works) as "l" and "r", although I'm not sure of their implied meaning here. My theory that means just that: "left" and "right", for whatever deep reason.

So, while you're admiring Alem's outfit and hairstyle as he's showing off his results of perfecting The Stare™ (I had a theory his stares are so intent because his contact lenses keep drying up and it's his attempts not to blink much when cameras are on), you notice not only that Samsung is the main sponsor of this production (is it surprising?), but also that there's a picture of random people on the background, and a funny-looking statue next to the window. Except for that is not a picture of random people, that is actually a photo of the leaders of the Kazakh national movement/autonomy against Communists in the 1910s - Alash Orda, which I'm probably going to elaborate on in another post. For now, I'll just say that these were the writers, poets, social and political activists, the Kazakh Intelligentsia™, who were later prosecuted and repressed by the Soviet regime. Very important addition to the set if you ask me, and very deliberately chosen.

As for the funny-looking statue, that is a miniature "Balbal" of Kültegin or Kül Tigin, who was the General of the Second Turkic Khanate of the same Old Turkic people who used to write in the aforementioned Orkhon-Yenisei runic script. We can talk about it later on, for now, I can only say that 10 seconds into the video and my inner history nerd was screaming very much delightedly at these references. Didn't expect that much meta in such a short amount of time, eh? And we didn't even mention how cigars are allowed now, along with the whiskey-looking tea in a tumbler.

Anyway, then we are abruptly cut to AZ and, shortly after, ZAQ with an eagle. And no, it's not just a "lol, look, a bird", that's the Golden Eagle, a species that was trained and used for eagle hunting by the Kazakh nomads for centuries. Which is why we have it on our flag too. Btw, extra kudos to ZAQ for delivering his lines while having an eagle on his arm without its hood. I would have been more than slightly concerned if I were him.

If you don't know much about that aspect of nomadic life in Central Asia, I recommend watching the critically acclaimed documentary film The Eagle Huntress about Aisholpan - a 13 y.o. Kazakh girl from Mongolia being the first female mastering the art. FYI, it is narrated by Daisey Ridley aka Rey from Star Wars. Watch it.

The scene is black and white, and AZ and ZAQ are wearing suits which look very agreeable.

Then, we have the bridge that is delivered by very blond Bala, which isn't the best look on him in my opinion, but he's wearing a suit too, which is always a good idea. Bala, you must know, has perfected his camera acting and now successfully flirting with it without so much as breaking a sweat. Good job Juz, you know what you're doing.

Now, when we're done sharing niceties, can we, please, focus on the background - which is, of course, all lofty and fiery - specifically, on those symbols carved on the wall? And what are they? Yes, you guessed right: the Orkhon-Yenisei runes, yay. FYI, it says "QAZAQ", in its very palindromic fashion - the meaning here, I assume, is quite self-explanatory.

In one of the cuts we see that Bala is actually there with a dog. And, guess what, it's not just a dog, it's actually a Tazy - the Kazakh national hunting breed, of which, quite frankly, I did not know anything before researching for this MV. See, even I'm being educated here, I feel so enlightened.

After that, we have the chorus, and all five of them are first standing and then walking like a bloody band of gangsters, all suited and effortlessly cool, as if towards an important tét-a-tét with a competing band. My immediate association was Crows: Zero (I'm sure, my fellow Japanese weeboos get what I mean) - lots of shonen swag and badassery. I approve.

In the meanwhile, Bala is showing off his moves, again, very at ease, chill and relaxed.

Chorus moves to the second part of the song with another rap verse from ZAQ. Do you remember that set in the previous black-and-white scene with the rappers? This one is that same set i.e. a carcass and insides of a Yurt - a traditional nomadic portable house used by Kazakhs for centuries. We see ZAQ sitting in what looks like a Khan's throne with battle spears and fur skins of wild animals. And no, nobody is trying to offend animal rights activists and humanists, just trying to showcase the culture here, alright? As you've noticed hunting has always had cultural significance for Kazakhs, and, well, it's survival in the bloody Eurasian steppes we're talking about here, with windy -50°C in the winters you've got to wear something to protect from freezing over, you know.

ZAQ delivers his lines in his usual very efficient fashion, and we cut to Ace walking over to the race track, very stylishly so that it might as well be a car commercial, to a parked Ford Mustang (and, yay, we've got a budget for a nice car now!) that's drifting its tires out in the shots in-between. Did I mention Ace's wearing a suit? I'm telling you, a car commercial.

I have a feeling that a Mustang was chosen deliberately, a subtle shoutout to horses as another culturally significant symbol and animal for Kazakhs. They could've gone for a Ferrari for the sheer visual effect of it, but I suppose Samsung is generous, but not that much.

And then, we have a chorus with a dance break. Interestingly, despite the numerous cuts and camera angles, and even blinding background lights that obscure the view, I did not mind how the dance was shot. The choreography itself is nothing short of cool: very laid-back, effortless, with easy open moves and a masterfully feigned nonchalance. I know I'm using cool and effortless a lot, but what can I do, they are the keywords for this MV. I like those claps btw, remind me of hilarious dances in Kazakh weddings lol. Very ironic. In either case, my compliments to Asiya for her work, bravo.

While you're still getting over the choreography, you're introduced to AZ casually lying among many ladies in night gowns, and yes, we now are allowing this too along with cigars and whiskey-looking teas in tumblers. Don't get me wrong, AZ is wearing a modest pair of black silk shirt with black trousers (can't say the same about his wild tricoloured mess of hair), and evidently still can't take his hands off his nose (he does keep rubbing it), but the whole scene, the wide shot of it, looks so unapologetically hedonistic that it might as well be a Gucci Guilty commercial. Well, Ninety One definitely went all Gucci in this MV, so associations are unsurprising. Scrumptious.

The only cultural reference we've got here is the neon rune "r" on the background when AZ is sitting up.

Then, it goes back to the chorus with the guys standing with more fire in the background. There are other cuts from previous scene including the one with Alem throwing off 10000 Tenge bills with that photo on the back while staring into the camera.

Conclusion? A+ to the production team, especially set designers, Bibotta for the styling, and Yerbolat for knowing what looks good and what doesn't.

All and all, it was a good MV, a good break from artificially colourful secluded studio sets.

Now let's move to the music.

The song starts with, what I thought, those weird sounds from some Japanese instruments, but upon hearing the chorus my immediate reaction was "wait, is it a hip-hop beat from the early 2000s?"

Honestly, it isn't a very pop song. It screams hip-hop, and I dare say, this song was meant to be performed by the rappers only, which was somewhat proven true given that AZ and ZAQ were both writers and composers of Men Emes. Its hip-hop nature shows even in the structure: there are no vocal verses, only a bridge and a chorus performed by the vocalists, and everything else is just rap. And oh my, that's some rap, indeed.

First, can we just address, that once again the rappers of 91 managed to sneak up another controversial line bordering with vulgarity? I am talking about the first two lines of AZ's rap here, those who don't know what I am talking about, ask me about it later. The audacity though, huh. In either case, that got an incredulous chuckle out of me upon realisation. Congratulations, boys, mischief's managed.

AZ was his extravagant self in general, wouldn't say he brought a lot of literary value in this track, to be honest. Well, especially compared to ZAQ (and it is always difficult to compete with ZAQ's lyrics), who's just unleashed the study of "how many words and rhymes with "u" and "ü" sounds I can shove into one rap verse while making it sound intelligible and meaningful." And did so successfully, I must say. Personally was always astonished how masterfully he manages to use the vowel harmony - one of the linguistic traits of the Kazakh language - weaving syllables to the whole other level of wordplay. Lyrically, all cultural references in the MV seem justified, given how ZAQ is lamenting over how "his nation is moving with a snail speed" and such. With this, he is brushing the socio-political problems in the country, it seems. And it is very promising, as in this country high profile artists don't risk doing that.

(Btw, a mention of Surtur was another delightful nod to my inner nerd who loves Norse Mythology, and a reference to Cthulhu was rather amusing. Lovecraft wouldn't've minded.)

I had many problems with voices in this track. For some reason, I couldn't recognise half of them. I only clearly heard Bala, Ace's voice became obvious only when he moved to an octave higher, and I didn't even realise it was Alem singing in the beginning. Was very shocked to know that it was ZAQ, not AZ, rapping with that higher voice in the second part before switching to his usual old school style. We're trying different things, I see, though I wouldn't mind them toning down their tuner game a bit. I know who's singing what now only thanks to the MV.

To sum up, it's a very different 91 song. Not that it's very astounding in its originality with blending different genres in one as you'd expect, but it's probably refreshing to hear something bold, audacious, yet simple, very hip-hopesque circa 2001 from them. It seems they're deliberately trying to diversify their audience throwing a track like that. Which isn't bad at all, I rather enjoyed it. (By the way, those drums in the bridge section sounded almost tribal. Just saying.)

Despite the MV and song screaming "WEALTH", "SWAG", "COOL" and "SUAVE", I do not actually think it was only about showing off. Well, of course, a part of the message was a la "look what I've got in the end, despite all your judgement" with "you're not me" and all that. However, I think it was also targeting and mocking the spoiled kids of corrupt government officials or just corrupt rich "bosses" in general who always act as if rules and law are not made for them. "Yeah, you're cool, but not the coolest, might be rich, but not the richest, and even good-looking but not really. Don't be so full of yourself, you're not the centre of the universe" kind of message. And that imagery of Alem as a mafia boss in his office is juxtaposed with all those cultural artifacts hinting on what is actually more important and valuable, especially with the Kazakh cultural leaders of the 20th century watching from the picture on the wall. And Alem throws those bills as if saying "yes, I'm doing that, but it's just money, so what." Even AZ looks somewhat lost and empty-eyed lying there among girls when he's not trying to convince you how envious you should be right now.

Probably it's me reading too much into this, I don't know, but the MV only amplified the feeling that you've got to read between the lines, it isn't all about bragging.

For now I'll give the MV 9 out of 10, and the song is a solid 7.

Peace out ✌️

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