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#dont you see how selfish that makes you look?.[
miwtual · 10 months
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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website
#kai.txt#negativity tw#(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them#when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds#'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something#that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place#we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does#to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting#and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces#go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets#that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases#or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place#but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces#they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either#they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters#im just so fucking tired of the disrespect#and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site#we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.
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Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post
Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight
#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine#and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out”#so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao#am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now#I'm just questioning something about someone#sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot#even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay.#because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before.#but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in#i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong-#-again and if i need to hear another drama again#it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much#maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it?#i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess?#i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now#i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now)#i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something#i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore#okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight#mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red#alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages#(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)
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cowboy-robooty · 3 months
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physically holding back my rage when i go get my weekly uchuujin no kakushigoto update and see people bitchin and moaning about it. I WANT TO HURT YOU AND IM NOT FUCKING AROUND. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEAR MACE SPRAYED IN YOUR EYES SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO FUCKING APPRECIATION FOR GOOD LITERATURE. S2G SHUT YOUR DUMBASS UP BEFORE I GO AHEAD AND SLICE OFF ALL YOUR FINGER TIPS TOO AND PUT YOUR TONGUE IN A BAG CORPSE PARTY STYLE CUZ YOUR OPINIONS ARE ACTIVELY MAKING SOCIETY WORSE.
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bcneheaded · 4 months
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thinking about my tiefling cleric of kelemvor uuuhh tempest domain tav...... thinking about how he secretly thinks its a little funny that his god is kelemvor and his Thing is Electricity. If frankenstein exists in faerun..... he's absolutely read that as a child and was like.... c o o l... but reverse frankenstein.... thinking about my lolth sworn drow tav and how he is technically evil, but not a monster. he's deeply devout to lolth in maybe a like... simultaneously deeper yet Calmer(tm) way than most, and how before he finds out about The Truth (AHEM..) he instantly hates Minthara and thinks of her as a traitor for essentially being a heretic and betraying Lolth (but then feeling a little bad about it later when AHEM AHEM yknow. truths. if only because he's an absolute dummy and despite being evil Lite he also found her very pretty and ambitious and dominant jufydFGD)
also thinking about my half-orc draconic bloodline sorcerer, Roselyn, raised in baldurs gate in a very healthy happy family but ended up very self-conscious and sweet and sincere despite being Very Large and Scary and Strong. thinking about how shes very pretty and soft hearted and stuff but people see a half orc and. Stare. yk. and growing up, she ended up very self conscious about the scales on her face and used to try to cover them up <:' ) ended up anxious because of her magic. the whole ''learn to wield it or literally die'' thing iujghdgdf THINKING about how the big ol amazonian ass woman will literally melt into a puddle if you call her Rosie or compliment her bc she doesnt know how to take it, so she just ends up giggling and blushing like an idiot and then gets internally frustrated with herself jusdhfjdgfdGD 'GODS ROSIE you're sO EASY UGH' yk ykyk gfdgfdhd
thinking foREVER about my dragonborn durge bard, Fel (happy accident, that name).... because...... good route.... lots of praise and ''proud of you'''s. no spoilers jgjfgjfg but my favourite playthru handsdown.... oog
#( ooc )#( tbd )#my ass out here hyperfixating........ HAS been for months oojgfjjdjg if ive been scarce ... u know why...#thinking about a LOT of things but mainly these couple of dummies <3#there are so many tavs I've made jfc.... just Because............because i like seeing how things go w diff characters <:[#emory have you beaten the game yet? ....... no .........#dont look at me. im ascared to : (#bc then its done and stuff juhydjdsjf#''but u can just make another character'' its not the saME#anyway im fhsyhudjs i am thinking about these goobers (all of them... no i wont admit how many there are)#thinking about rosie the sweetheart#how she pats ALL of the animals and gets SO CONFUSED and flustered when ANYONE flirts with her#because she doesn't think she's desirable at all!!#self esteem is shot#thinking about how deeply she values the connections she forms with these weirdos and how she'd die for them ten times over if it meant#she could protect them all from harm#thniikkinngggg about Jio the drow and how he's an absolute idiot buffoon who's selfish as hell but#thinking about how he finds out about cazador and he#loses his god damned mind when he gets closer to astarion#he does help him ascend unfortunately bc hes Like That but yk. lolth drow ..... so.#thinkin about Tav (i didnt actually name him :( ) and how he goes out of his way to help. Everyone. every single person he possibly can#if it isn't like.... utterly ridiculous and unfeasible#thinking about how he decimates all undead and how he spares Astarion though for some reason#maybe bc he's grown to know him deeper and can See the goodness in him deep in there#and he wants to help bring that out of him... in his non pushy way#but then you get the mummy lord or something and hes like HELL naw#you were meant to be dead a LONG time ago--#but will not be cruel in his actions. just and wise and shit.. abhors necromancy but will allow certain things here and there bc.... times#are hard right now. everything he believed in and believes in is thrown all topsy turvy and he has to really Think about so many things now#bc of the absolute and tryina survive n shit etcetc
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florencewellch · 9 months
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Some of you all are missing the point....
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toytulini · 1 year
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also
#toy txt post#not to be selfish or whatever but im also pretty glad ig. that my boring unfinished ass artsyle thats just pencil sketches on paper#seems to be not super popular for ai to replicate? so uh idk. grateful for that ig. i already barely post art anymore i cant imagine#how fucking discouraged id be if i saw ai art that looked like mine : /#like now. if I coded it myself off of all my own art only? i think id be fine w that. but i think thats probably not enough images to code#one of those lol#but idk maybe that could be an interesting way to do ai#train it on your own specific shit personally that you made to create yourself a little dirk strider autoresponder for your own art.#not sure how many images it takes to train one though and if that would be achievable for one person to pull off#but like i think i would not be mad at that!#at that point its almost akin to making a little dressup game i think haha. or like a character creator#WHICH for all the complaints i see about like it being a useful tool for disabled ppl to make art that they dont have the#physical capacity to do im a bit like. okay youre essentially describing like a really really detailed character creator. or like. the sims#i feel like we dont need to steal art from ppl to make those#before anyone is like oh well its not like a character creator cos youre typing in keywords instead of fucking around selecting hairstyls#or smth. its just a keyword controlled character creator. thats what you want. and im not against that. im just against. using stolen art#to do it and im against letting companies get away with using that to make like a book cover or smth instead of commissioning an artist
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navramanan · 1 year
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Dont know which would be worse
#having only myself to blame or being able to point fingers at my parents#sometimes i do both. i blame myself but also my parents but then i look at my sister who had the same parents#and she still has a more fullfilling social life than i do#she has her few friends but her friendships are so fulfilling she doesnt want any more#and then you have me fighting tooth and nail to meet new people#and still feel incredibly lonely most of the time#i love the friends i have but i feel alone regardless#it's like i dont have anyone to really count on. which is selfish. but i've always felt like a reserve friend#if that makes sense. like ''she'll be there regardless''. like i'm in a reserve room incase anyone should need me#i'm convinced there's something wrong with me. something i just cant manage to do right#i know i shouldnt hold on to the past but how if it affects my present#i always feel so awful when i see and hear about the concept ''friendships formed during childhood & adolescense are the most special''#and everyone i know left that phase with a best friend. and a couple good friends#and i left it feeling like i just. you know how schools are crowded places and you exit from the door and everyone goes home#i felt like while everyone was leaving with at least someone i was leaving it alone#like watching everyone walk away with each other and i'm walking out alone#like. like i was just surrounded by so many people when did it become so empty#i wish i had at least that one person with whom i have that very special bond#i feel like i have no one to really count on. no one needs me while i need someone#i'm scared of my future too like i'll remain this lonely for a long time. bc what will happen with me#when i've already lost my chance in school and uni#uni was atrocious it started with covid and all my classes were completely online the first two semesters#i somehow managed to make three friends that are very dear to me#but as i said. i'm looking for that one special connection and i think this search for it will be my demise 🤣#anyway i feel like if i continue it will get less comprehensible#nesi rants
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dreamingpine · 3 months
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i need to be put back in a literature class. i want to know things.
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gibbearish · 6 months
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reddit refuses to stop recommending me the antinatalist sub and i just saw a post from there saying "women who breastfeed in public or on streams are just doing it for male attention" like dude that's literally just Regular Old Misogyny. this isn't an antinatalist thing you're just misogynistic is all
#and thats not even going into the problems with antinatalism itself like.#i am 1000% childfree and they try to act like antinatalism is the logical conclusion/next step from there but it just. super isnt#like no just because i personally dont want kids doesnt mean ill agree that doing so is abusive because#you can't ask the babies for consent before bringing them into this world#and its like. this is such a nothingburger when you think about it for more than like two minutes#is this world rough? yes#are there people who wish theyd never been born? yes#but they act like fuckin. their soul was in paradise before you so rudely ripped it away and forced it into this world#because of your own selfish desire to make a creature that is compelled to love you#and its like. ok. im sorry ur parents lived vicariously through you bc its clearly left an impact but that does not reflect on.#the entire human race? humans are animals. animals make babies of themselves. like reproduction of some form is how life continues#it's not inherently morally good or bad it's just a thing life does#(inb4 'ur making up a guy to get mad at' i have seen this exact sentiment expressed almost word for word many times)#(not the souls part thats hyperbole i meant the 'people only have kids bc theyre selfish and want a mini them who loves them by default'#part it gets really old really fast lmao)#and theyre always posting stuff like 'just found out ny friend got pregnant and is keeping the baby‚ i can't#believe she would do something like this‚ now i have to end a 14 year friendship' and its like. my dude.#you need to see a therapist because if you think just existing is such bad torture that you have to cut someone off for#having a baby you may actually just be severely fucking depressed#thats not in a derogatory way esp bc whenever i do look at the sub like. 100% of the posts there are depressed as hell#which makes sense‚ it's an ideology driven by 'everything is fucked‚ we can't stop it‚ we're the problem and should just die off'#and i think being unknowingly depressed can make it very easy to fall into the more nihilist aligned movements like that#i know before i figured out i had it i was big into nihilism#and i would say to a certain degree i still am and im still depressed but i think the two are actually separate now#like its not nothing matters because my brain doesn't have enough of a chemical#its nothing matters because like i said humans are just animals‚ highly influential animals yes but animals nonetheless#we're not morally superior to other animals‚ evolution didnt pick us it's entirely randomized#the entire world is randomized! every part of our universe couldve developed so differently if even a tiny thing changed#nothing means anything because anything couldve been anything else#theres no meaning in that bad thing happening to you‚ it was just random chance‚ it's not some cosmic punishment
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funshape · 3 months
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if they had tumblr in spongebob times
🧽 bubbleblowingbuddy Follow
who wanna go jellyfishing after work? just got a new net 😄
(7 notes)
🗿squidwords Follow
my fucking god can you guys not read the text under my art posts IF YOURE GONNA LIKE MY ART FUCKING REBLOG IT. LAST TIME IM GONNA SAY THIS if i catch you liking and not reblogging under my next self portrait series i’m gonna start getting REAL BOLD with that block button istg
#and squilliam if ur reading this which i FUCKING KNOW you are #stop block evading i know you’re making new accounts to stalk my blog on #come off anon and stop vagueing me on main #I KNOW you’re sending your followers to send anon hate #and no i WILL NOT forget what you did to me #at the bikini bottom talent show #YOU NASTY LYING BITCH.
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🐿️ treedomepilled Follow
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going here once would fix 90% of this sites userbase forever
#texasposting
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⭐️ rock-star638226 Follow
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the group chat is bullying me over my room setup and i can’t take it anymore please tell me this doesn’t look like something from r/malelivingspaces please. pplease
(515 notes)
🦑 squill-i-am Follow
can we talk about how pathetic the people on this site who post their art and then go “REBLOGS > LIKES!!!! DONT LIKE WITHOUT REBLOGGING!” under it are like seriously omfg deeeeply unappreciative selfish behavior are you 12. sorry not everyone wants to put your shitty oil paintings from your 5 follower art blog on their mutuals dashes i guess. and your art is probably ugly as barnacles if you need to beg for reblogs on it to get any amount of traction on it anyway, just saying😭
(672 notes)
🦀 krusty-krab-money-grab Follow
Hey anyone else working the afternoon shift rn just see a little green thing run past the cash register? what was that
(4 notes)
🦠 rate-the-chumbucket-5stars-onyelp Follow
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DHRHEH THFORUMELA ITS THE FORUMEUAR THE THRREAL FORMULER I FUCKING GOT IT QUICNQUICK REBLOG THIS BEFORE THOSE CAPITALIST FREAKS AT THE KRUSTY KRAB SEND A CEASE AND DESIST GET THIS EVERYWHERE CONTACT BIKINI BOTTOM NEWS GET THEFUCKIGN WORD OUT THIS IS WHAT THEY DONT WANT YOU TO KNOW GO GO GO
#krusty krab critical #anti krusty krab #secretforumlagate
(839 notes)
🐋 pearlygirlie Follow
turning off anon for a while because oomf is in some sstupid drama and now i’m catching strays for it. mutuals can contact me on discord if you want i’m not saying anything about my stance on the situation because either way i’ll get hate for it. this website sucks
🔁🐋 pearlygirlie Follow
yes oomf is my dad.
(320 notes)
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stil-lindigo · 3 months
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You'r eunder no obligation to reply but I'd like to ask, how do you keep your head up these days considering the genocide? It's been nearly five months now, my entire family is giving up the stirke and falling into propoganda, and every time i think "surely this is the end, no way the us will keep supporting this, israel is on limited time" i keep seeing no end in my twitter feed to the countless losses, i keep seeing gore and childrens butchered on my tiktok. i dont wanna lose hope or faith but ive started feeling so depressed these days that i dont even wanna open my social media because i know what ill see. it might sound selfish but i hope i can open up my tiktok and see silly little people doing trends again instead of seeing one between 6 posts asking to use filters so that they can donate and detailing the necessities that israel banned from palestine and it just feels so soul crushing and hopeless. it makes me feel worse because if im tired of it then how do palestanians cope being in it? if you have any tips or good news id be grateful
hi anon. A lot of what Palestinians report first-hand is graphic, and horrifying, and would contribute to that soul-crushing feeling. But they are so tenacious, they have so much love for their people, their country. Often, Bisan or Motaz or Plestia when she was still in Gaza will share little slices of joy from displaced Palestinians. It reinvigorates me, and I'll often return to watch them when things seem dire.
A baby in Gaza, blessedly unaware of the horrors. Look at that smile!
A Palestinian mother makes donuts for her children, and offers Bisan one as she prepares for an interview. She (the mother) talks about how she makes treats like this to try to cheer up her children, how she keeps herself busy like this so she can't feel the grief of the situation. It is expensive to buy firewood these days, and flour. At her side, her children chip away at a block of wood to help her.
if you'd like to support people like this family, donate to CareforGaza, which directly distributes supplies and money to families in need. They have stopped donations to their Gofundme campaign due to overwhelming support, but you can still donate via the paypal link in their bio.
Young Palestinians parkour in the ruins of Gaza, to show that Israeli bombing will not kill their spirits.
Mo, a Palestinian man, buys cat food after searching for two days straight, and feeds the stray cats in Gaza.
Palestinian children at a refugee camp filming a cute video.
Although they've lost their home, a Palestinian family gather to celebrate their youngest child's birthday, complete with a small cake and a birthday hat.
Bisan makes bread in Khan Younis.
Palestinians celebrate the birthday of an injured girl in hospital, with a small cake. One of them has dressed up as a clown.
After losing 22 members of his family and being injured in a bombardment, a Palestinian man named Mohammed Al Ghandour marries his fiance in a tent.
A Palestinian journalist plays with a baby who survived an airstrike.
@/nisreendiary on TikTok documents the process of making fresh bread in a tent in a calming video.
I got most of these off twitter, from this thread. Twitter is a hellscape at the best of times, but the easy communication it provides is a blessing. I'll try to share more of the good news here, as they pop up. In the future, I recommend you follow Eye on Palestine, or Al Jazeera if you'd like to stay informed on the situation in Gaza with minimal scrolling.
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bkgml · 1 year
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i absolutely LOVE your works!! could you write about y/n and bakugo having a argument and y/n sleeping on the couch? i dont mind if its gonna be a sad or happy ending ;D
(feel free to ignore this ask!)
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WOOOO I GET SUCH A BOOST WHEN PPL COMPLIMENT MY WORK is that shallow idk but like even if it is you can’t blame me 😚
“leave me alone katsuki.” you frown, tears in your lash line as you walk into the kitchen.
“stop acting like a child yn.” he calls after you.
you stop before inhaling sharply to regain your composure. you’re not in the mood to argue, you had a really long day today and you just wanted to cuddle katsuki and go to bed.
you continue walking to the fridge so you can make dinner.
“now you’re fuckin ignoring me? it was one date.” he says coldly.
that pushes you over the edge. whipping your head to glare at him.
“one date?! katsuki you’ve missed 15 dates. you’re constantly prioritizing me over your job and i get left behind to pick up the pieces. i’m sick of it!!” you scream.
he walks toward you, caging you into the counter and you frown because you know what he’s looking for.
“you can’t kiss me and expect this to all go away katsuki. it’s happened too many times!” you frown, pushing him away.
he lets you, taking the hint.
“you know i need to go into work when they call me, you’re being selfish!” he yells and slams his hand on the countertop.
you jump away from him and your eyes fill with tears.
“don’t yell at me.” you frown.
“i’m gonna go to bed. i don’t want dinner.” you mumble, rushing past him to go to the family room.
“you’re not sleeping on the couch.”
“don’t tell me what to do!!” you snap.
he purses his lips and turns to leave.
“i’m sleeping on this couch before you decide to do the proper thing and apologize like an adult.” you call after him.
his fists clench and he stoms into the bedroom.
you force yourself to sleep. you’ve forgiven him way too many times.
katsuki lies awake in his room. counting how many minutes have passed without you coming to bed. he didn’t know you were this mad, he wants to spend time with you so badly. unfortunately hes trying to save up for the perfect ring and has taken on too many shifts. hes hoping he hasn’t fucked up bad enough for you to leave him.
at that thought, he makes his way to the living room. peeling back the warm blankets in exchange for the cold air of a girlfriend-less night.
he finds you in a light sleep on the couch.
“baby.” he says, brushing your hair out of your face.
“baby come to bed please? ‘m sorry.” he says, lowly.
your eyes flutter open and you frown at him.
“i said im not coming to bed, suki.” you pout.
he grunts in frustration.
“fine.” he says, standing.
you think he’s on his way back to bed so you shut your eyes once again.
only to feel your body get crushed by his weight.
“katsuki.” you groan, trying to shove him off.
“not moving.” he says while wrapping his strong arms around your waist.
“i’m not done being mad at you.” you whisper into the silence.
he removes his arms in favour of pulling up your shift to press soft kisses to the spot on your tummy that sends butterflies to flutter around your stomach.
“i know.” he replies in between kisses.
“but i’m done with you being mad at me.” he says while putting your shirt down over his head.
you sigh, attempting to pull the shirt back up so you can see his face.
he doesn’t let you though, preferring to nose at the soft part of your tummy.
“i know you’re hiding a blush under there.” you say.
“no you don’t.” he replies, resuming his kisses.
“alright.” you say softly.
he pops his head out now, thumbs starting to rub circles into your hips.
“hm?” he questions.
you sigh before reaching to cup his cheek.
“i forgive you,” you mumble and he smiles softly, leaning into your palm.
“i guess.” you grin and he bites your hand.
“ow! don’t push your luck.” you frown.
“sorry,” he mumbles.
“i guess.” he says and your grin drops.
he cackles loudly before standing and throwing you over his shoulder.
you laugh with him and bite his waist.
“hey.” he grunts and throws you on the bed.
you giggle and open your arms.
he shuffles up until his entire body weight is on you and his face is in your neck.
“don’t sleep on the couch ever again.” he mumbles, lips grazing your neck giving you shivers.
“don’t do dumb shit ever again.” you mumble back and he frowns.
“said i was sorry.”
“i know.” you smile, brushing his hair off his forehead and pressing a lingering kiss to his skin.
he hums in content as his eyes flutter shut before he falls asleep.
“miss another date and i’ll fucking kill you.” you whisper.
his eyes snap open.
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azullumi · 21 days
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“i wanna be yours” ; aventurine
premise — but this is what friends do, right? they slow dance together in the living room while saying sweet nothings ; inspired by this ask (though i never really followed the entire idea, my hands has minds of its own)
pairing — aventurine (w/ gender-neutral reader)
tags — fluff (with a little bit of angst at the end), friends but wanting more type of relationship, all written in reader’s pov, not proofread, 1.2k words ; one-shot
tagging — @toorurs (hi boo)
note — i keep on comparing aventurine to the sun i dont even know why i do it. 9 DAYS LEFT UNTIL HIS BANNER
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“care to dance?” the languid, lazy silence draws itself away as the honey-haired man spoke, offering you his hand as he did. the light humming of the music in the background keeps the night awake and alive, the softness of the notes intertwined in the air that settles in your home.
you stare at his hand for a moment, admiring the glistening bracelet on his wrist before you answer, tone meek and hesitant: “i don’t know how to dance.” you expected him to laugh at you for not knowing a simple and common concept; dancing was a form of art known to many and yet, you are unfamiliar with it.
but aventurine simply smiles at you and takes your hand to hold on his own, gently pulling you up from your seat and making you stumble on your feet—however, he catches you and doesn’t let you fall to the ground. you are only met with the warmth of his body and the feeling of his unoccupied hand resting on the small of your back.
“you could have warned me before you did that.” you huffed, although you weren’t exactly reprimanding him.
“i still caught you, didn’t i?” the man answers in a gentle tone as he begins to sway you to the rhythm of the song (the melody wraps itself around your form like the cradle of a warm blanket), a familiar tune that plays in your living room and now you are listening to it as you—no, as he dances and guides your movements. you try to follow him albeit like a clumsy child and silence trailed behind your steps as none of you spoke, only wallowing in this moment between you and him.
(his hand is warm against yours, fingers lacing with each other like two puzzle pieces meant to fit together. you have never known how gentle he can be, have never known the warmth of his hands and the softness of his palms up until this moment. maybe it’s the feeling of his touch that’s making you drunk and aeons, you’ve never thought of yourself as a selfish person but something in the way he’s holding you makes you crave for more.)
“focus,” he whispers to your ear, catching you completely off-guard when his breath tickles your skin, “you’re supposed to look at me, not at the ground.”
you compose yourself, bringing your gaze to his face instead of the marble floors that seem to spin as you move, “i was watching my feet so i won’t accidentally step on you.”
“i don’t mind if you do, all i wish is for you to look at me and me only.” he speaks so gently, so delicately as if something akin to despair hangs on the tangled threads of his words. you study his face, looking at the lines on his features and trying to look for the gap of his expression—you could never tell what he was thinking, could never decipher the meaning he skillfully weaves to the words that he utters (you wish you had the ability to look into minds, perhaps you would have known him).
he notices your silence and smiles, “can’t a poor man have their own wishes?”
you take a moment once more to answer, “i didn’t say that.” well, in fact, you weren’t saying anything. the sound of laughter slips past his lips and perhaps, if you didn’t see the way his eyes formed into a crescent and his expression contorts one into amusement, you would have mistook the sound as part of the song.
“you should see the way you look right now.” 
you raised your eyebrow at him, confusion evident in your face, “what do you mean? is there dirt on my face?”
aventurine pulled you closer to him, movements coming to a stop as you two stood still. his face is leaning down to yours, lips merely inches away from each other, and your thoughts are in a jumble as if your mind was a library of cluttered and disorganized bookshelves.
“no, i’m saying you look lovely tonight.” he whispers—and you swear, you see his eyes look down to your lips for a moment—, his voice low as if you’re the only one who’s supposed to hear and not the moon that casts its curious glow on his skin, not the stars that watched your every move, but you and just you.
(you’re left with nothing but silence and warmth in your cheeks, not knowing where to focus or even think about—the strong scent of his perfume or his words that repeatedly echoed inside your head.)
the golden-haired man doesn’t speak any further, continuing his slow dance with you in the comfort of your living room as he hums along to the melody. the night is heavy against your shoulders as the silver moonlight laid on the ground like spilled milk.
“it is quite simple, isn’t it? look, you’re able to follow.”
“aven, you’re doing all of the work.”
he slowly spins you around—the world looks slow and messy for you for a moment—before he answers, “barely.” he comes face to face with you and you don’t fail to notice the affection in his eyes when he meets your gaze.
“don’t look at me like that.” you wished he wouldn’t look at you in that way; something tugs at your heart and suffocates you.
“like what?”
“i don’t know.” hesitation follows your tone, broken and unsure, seemingly lost in an empty field full of directions. “like…” like you wanted me like a lover, you keep the words at your throat knowing you’ll choke on it one day. you don’t know how to say it, you don’t even know if you can say it. it was as if the ability to speak has been taken away from you.
the song came to its end and so was the dance.
“you should go to sleep, don’t stay up too much.” aventurine says, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss on your forehead. he lets you go as soon as he parts his lips, stepping back to the distance the both of you once had before all of this happened, as if nothing occurred between you two, as if the words whispered against each other, the closeness, the intimacy were all just some silly imagination.
“are you leaving already?” you ask, your hand reaching out to tug at his sleeve as if you didn’t want him to go. you don’t even know what made you hold on to him, what made you want him to not want to leave.
the man who had the universe in his wake answers with warmth in his tone, “i can’t stay any longer.” he holds your hand and ushers you to remove your grasp on his sleeve. everything felt so different now, your thoughts were all so loud but you couldn’t dare to speak nor say something as you watched him turn away and leave—the sound of the door closing echoed throughout the corners of your home and you were left alone, in silence and in the cold.
but the comfort and warmth of his touch lingered on your skin—and you’ll remember it all; it will haunt you, follow your shadow everywhere you go, pulling on the hem of your shirt with the desperation of a dying man and you don’t know how to live knowing the way he held you on this night. how are you supposed to deal with the fact that his hands were as soft and warm as summer?
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© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
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eldritch-spouse · 9 months
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Hear me out ok? In the middle of the night u just get rlly needy and horny but u dont have the guts to wake vesper up so u use his belly mouth instead to get off. Idk if im mistaken but i think u mentioned about vesper's belly mouth is awake even in the night?
[Yep, correct! Fem reader.]
TW: Somnophilia; Dubious consent then enthusiastic consent.
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It's its own special type of Hell, living with Vesper.
Not because he treats you badly. Quite the contrary, as soon as you started making efforts to accept your new reality, he was the first one to volunteer any sort of help, hoping to make you feel as comfortable here as you did in your home, back on the surface. And, putting aside the volumes of mixed feelings you have regarding all this, it's... Sweet of him to at least care about your comfort.
That's not the problem.
The problem is your ceaseless libido.
Ever since you woke up in this ring, in his mansion, you've been burning up with arousal. You're always some degree of wet, sensitive, mind heading to the gutter far too frequently. You want everything and everyone, you want Vesper's touch on your body at every. Possible. Moment. You want him to slip his fingers and tongue anywhere he can and you want him to pick you up like a fucktoy whenever he pleases- Because it feels like nothing will ever sate you these days.
When you brought these concerns to the King, he was more than thrilled by the knowledge, though also a tad empathetic. It must be jarring, yes, he cooed, but you'll soon come to embrace your own desires. They're your true nature, after all.
It was... A strange conversation. To say the least.
Thankfully, Lust is the last place in the universe where you can be judged for excessive sexual cravings. It isn't the possible judgment of others that stops you from going all in, your own thoughts are what makes you hesitate.
Because, even if Vesper has made it very clear that you're to deliberately seek him out when you're bothered -No matter what he's up to- He can't possibly mean all the time, right?
It's common sense that you're not supposed to wake the Icon of Lust from a dead sleep just so you can have sex. How selfish of you! He's a King, he needs his rest.
But Gods... You're so fucking horny.
You can feel your heartbeat in your cunt. Maybe it's from sleeping in the same bed as him, where his loose fluff spreads sometimes, getting into the sheets, contaminating them. That must be the cause of your misery, in retrospect.
Well... You could get up. Look around, have a drink, return to bed after cooling off and enjoying the view from his lavish home. But you're comfortable.
And his smell... Oh, you inhale the pillow between you two faintly, it's addictive.
You don't want to get up. At all. Leaving this room sounds awful.
The tiniest bit of light creeps in through a gap in the massive curtains of your resting chambers, allowing some of the faint reddish glow of night to slink its way in, highlighting the form of your massive, recently proclaimed husband. Vesper sleeps soundlessly, a hand over his chest, the other, once holding you to his side, now dormant on the sheets, fingers periodically twitching. He sleeps bare, to absolutely no one's surprise. Legs faintly parted, offering a view you admire shamelessly in the dark. You've no doubt he has watched you like this before, so it's more than fair you get to ogle as well.
He's gorgeous. He's hot. So hot. You're married to the hottest thing that ever lived. Gods, he's such a whore.
Another flare of heat travels its way up from your loins. It would be exceptionally easy. All you'd have to do is palm at his exposed slit for a moment or two and he'd pop those treats out for you. All for you. He wouldn't even care, it's probably normal for Vesper-
With a shake of the head, you push said thoughts away as hard as possible. See? Not a moment of rest, all these gross ideas swimming around like they belong, like it's right. You're above something so rude!
But you're not above touching yourself in the same bed.
In your humble defense, you need this. You really need this, or you're going to scream and drag yourself on the ground like a bitch in heat. Panties are swiped aside with great haste, both hands quickly darting for the crux of your fire. It takes literally no effort for you to be able to slide two fingers into yourself, then three, trying to roll your clit in the best angle at the same time. It's clumsy, hurried, and unfortunately, fruitless. Instead of relieving you of this insurmountable heat, all it does is incense you further- Wishing it was more, better, bigger.
Wishing it was Vesper that's fucking your little body the way he pleases.
A whimper almost makes it past your clenched teeth.
Beside you, there's sudden movement. A large tail swatting back and forth -Wagging?- While Vesper's brows furrow and his breathing hastens rhythmically, like he's sniffing. When you halt, mortified, so does his stirring.
Idiot.
What a bright idea. As if the King of Lust wouldn't feel your desire right next to him.
Childish irritation settles in you as you sit on your own stewing arousal, sulking. Until a loud rumble jolts you, that is. After a pause of stunted blinking, you put two and two together.
While the demonlord may be fast asleep, a part of him is clearly active. Gaze falling to Vesper's abdomen, his sizeable second mouth can be seen parted, greedily flicking a fat tongue over sharp chops. It pants, a dopey sort of smile, muscle lolling as it very easily detects some poor horny sap nearby.
Or, maybe it recognizes you already. This certainly isn't your first meeting with Vesper's second mouth.
Amused, getting a couple of nasty ideas, you smile at the organ. " Hello there... " You whisper to it.
It doesn't react too much to the sound of your voice, although gleefully wets its lips and chuffs, waiting. You're sure it'll settle back down given enough time.
It's just a matter of ignoring it.
...
......
Fuck it.
Guilty eyes glance from Vesper's peacefully resting complexion to the shifting mouth beneath, and you gulp, self-control falling victim to rabid want. Again.
Slowly, silently, you wriggle out of your undergarments, keeping your breath in check as you move to straddle Vesper's abdomen. Given the size difference, and he seems to plump in a couple areas, you have a difficult time stretching your legs enough to encompass his waist.
Little does it matter, as you don't even get to sit before that muscle has already slapped itself onto your soaked cunt with a decidedly loud PLAP. Cosmic luck alone prevented you from moaning immediately. Vesper turns his face, then settles once more.
This might have been a bad idea.
The mouth is merciless on you, drool slathered on your tights, ass and belly as it gluttonously slurps at you, making lurid sounds you hope to whatever's out there won't wake the King. Terrible idea or not, it's well worth the trouble, because it's exactly the type of pressure you need to get off.
A sweet sigh makes it past your lips when shaky legs lower, having to brace your palms firmly on each side of the bed when the mouth starts smooching tenderly at your lips. How... Sweet. Cute.
Then, suddenly, it latches on. Literally. Its size allows the organ to wrap around your groin easily, applying an all-encompassing suction delicious enough to have you rolling your eyes and jerking your hips forward, nerve endings frying on a pan. God fuck yes, you didn't know it could do that!
An orgasm approaches fast, likely due to how long you've been waiting for it, building up tension. As sensation makes your lower body jerk and tense, shaky legs press you harder against that hungry maw, almost nicking yourself with bold teeth. It feels wonderful. Delightful.
Even asleep, only Vesper can make you feel this good. It's almost too funny a concept to be true.
Nothing halts the flow of keens and gasps you offer when it pauses its slurping to shove that roving muscle into your pussy, flirting with your entrance a little before feeding you more and more and more of itself, until you're groaning at the fullness. The first experimental undulation it makes is so strong that you legitimately moan out, loud and clear, dropping squarely onto Vesper and holding on for dear life as your jostled with each thrust.
You're sure you're drooling on his belly, though it hardly matters, eyelids fluttering, nonsensical pleas chanted in the dark.
" Oh fuck- Yes- Please please please, I need to come. Fffuck, I need to come... "
You're so close! It's right there, you can't wait to get licked and sucked as you ride it out, it'll be so-
" Mm, why didn't you say so? "
You don't even get to have a moment of shame when realization dawns. Large hands grab onto your hips and screw you onto the demonlord's tongue hard enough to make you see stars, the movement in your walls so frantic that you have no choice but to howl in bliss before a single excuse could flow past your parted lips.
And all you can do is flail and cry in overstimulation when Vesper continues sucking at all the arousal you can offer him.
" My Queen should want for nothing. "
His sickly magenta eyes leer at you from the darkness.
" You will come. "
It's a promise.
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bahrtofane · 3 months
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in which jude is your best friend, or well, was. hes much more now
word count - 1.3K
watch it - arguments, yelling. happy ending tho hehe
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“Can you grab my purse? I left it in the back seat." 
Jude looks up from his phone at the doorway and gives you a nod, “Yeah gimme a sec, i got it.”
You send him a smile and thanks before taking your shoes off and relaxing on his couch. Today was an impromptu hang out, practice ended early and the personal trainer was out, so this was one of the few days Jude had to relax.
He still wanted to spend it with you, even after you told him he should use the opportunity to nap or just relax in his room. 
'What's the point if I can't bother you at the same time ?' was all he said. 
so you caved and got ready for him to pick you up, soon to raid his fridge or find another movie to watch. (which you always end up talking over but that's okay. It's the thought that counts. you even have your own Netflix profile on his tv !)
Your phone goes off and you're pleasantly surprised to find it's the man you met a few days ago. You caught his eye and he politely approached you while you were on a little coffee run. a treat after a bad few days. 
You smile when you text your date back confirmation. Dinner date this Saturday how exciting !
Jude comes back with your purse in hand, sliding it on the table your way before crashing into your side. 
"Jesus Jude- my god- you're too big to be doing that. you're gonna kill me someday." you sputter.
"no, it's good to keep you on your toes." he giggles while smothering himself into your side
you groan trying to get him off before resorting to kicking him off with your legs. 
he yells before hitting the ground, "Im worth too much for you to be throwing me around what the hell."
"you started it! you're so annoying, oh my god."
he narrows his eyes before getting up and sitting a far distance away from you, for safety. 
he puts on a movie and continues to sulk while you roll your eyes. 
‘Oh by the way I'm gonna have to cancel saturday. “ 
“What, why ? What happened?“ 
“I have a dinner date that day ! isn't that exciting.’
Jude only scowls at you, unimpressed. “You're canceling, over a man. First of all, why is this the first time I'm hearing about this guy. And why didn't you tell him you were busy and just pick a different day.”
“Saturday is his only day off. I don't know why you're so mad.” You frown. 
“Saturday afternoon is my only afternoon off.”
“Jude. Why are you being so childish?”
“I don't know because you're putting some guy you just met before me, your best friend.”
“He's not just some guy I think we could really be something. Why do you have to be so protective of me? I'm not 5 oh my god.”
“It's not just that it's that you're canceling our hangout for him.”
“We always hang out-”
“Exactly so I don't know why you're jumping so quickly to change it over some dick.”
“Im not like that and you fucking know it. You of all people should know that this is a chance I don't want to miss out on just because we order food and stare at a tv for hours on saturdays.”
“Oh so that's all it is to you. Staring at a tv.’ Jude rolls his eyes.
“It's not like that, I love hanging out with you. "
" I just don't understand why you're suddenly so eager to see anyone right now . I can't make any plans with anyone without you storming down here and telling me it's a waste of time. " He sighs 
You stare at him in disbelief. “Because you have a career ?? i don't give two shits who you talk to, but I can't let you make dumb decisions. I will always be your best friend, that's my job and nothing more."
"That's why this is so frustrating,” He waves his hands in the air aimlessly, “Do you even know what you're saying to me?"
"You're not making sense." You shake your head. 
 “I don't want to fight with you, I just don't understand why you're acting so selfish.”
“That's your problem, you act like I'm doing something wrong instead of being happy for me."
“You dont fucking get it do you oh my god I dont know how to be any more clear with you so you can get It.”
You don't say anything, choosing not to read any deeper into his words and instead watch the rest of the movie in silence. You don't have it in you to argue with him anymore. You care for him, truly. He's your best friend and you couldn't be happier or more proud to be able to have him by your side. 
But there's always that prickle of feeling that lays within you. A prickle of yearning, a wanting for more. You're not blind by any means, Jude is a handsome man and he's grown into his features better than you expected. 
You don't know if it's just delusion, but there's always a base layer of tension between you too. Always a second away from something going too far and it leading where it probably shouldn't. 
But you know it's deeper than a what if for you. You've found a good friend in him and somewhere along the way you've drifted to less than only platonic feelings. But you also know the way Jude is, the way he acts and talks is just that. Not meant to be read deeper and you dont let anything get your hopes up anymore. 
It's the reason why you said yes to that guy in the first place, so you can hopefully stop crushing on your best friend and move on.
Your over-thinking soon passes the time and you find yourself in an awkward quiet that neither of you want to break in fear of more arguing. But Jude takes the risk.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles.
"For what Jude? "
"For how I acted, and what I said. It was an asshole move to assume you're only gonna meet him for dick when I know you aren't like that. And for acting like you can only hang out with me. I'm sorry.”
You sit there silently, not saying a word. 
He turns to face you almost desperately, “You're my best friend you really are. I care about you, more than anyone else. And i just- fuck it. You’ve given me some of the most precious moments of my life, but I think I’d be a better boyfriend if you’d let me, friends just doesn’t do justice to what I feel for you anymore.”
You stand up and walk over to him, standing between his legs and placing his hands in yours, gently smiling.
“Please say something.” He whispers. 
“I can't think of anything I want more than for you to be mine Jude.”
He jumps at that, bringing you flush to his chest, “What about the guy on saturday?’ “I'm obviously going to cancel and tell him I'm no longer available.”
“Good.” He smiles. There is a moment where his gaze focuses on your lips and you can feel your face blush at the newfound attention.
“Can I, kiss you ?” He breathes
You give a nod, and no sooner do his hands gently cup your face, his lips meeting yours.
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dbzkaka · 1 month
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I literally dont know how to continue explaining to people that part of the reason Goku decided to stay dead was because Gohan hated fighting.
He didnt know this until cell. He literally had no idea. Gohan NEVER gave any indication whatsoever. Couple that with the fact Bulma pointed out most of people threatening the Earth during that point in time were all people wanting Goku. The saiyans. Frieza. The androids. Doctor Gero. Cell.
All because of Goku. Its not his fault but his very existence consistently put the Earth in danger. He truly believed Earth would be safer without him and therefore, gohan wouldnt be consistently placed into battle.
Because Goku didnt know gohan hated fighting. But once he knew came the very interwoven nature of these threats he brought making his own son fight because gohan felt he HAD to. Not because he wanted to. For goku, protecting the earth always aligned with his own love for fighting. But gohan fought out of necessity, out of the very idea that they couldnt afford to do it without him. He has this power he didnt ask for so he must use it right? Because it would be selfish if he didnt.
But goku... goku thought gohan was like him. Gohan WANTED to return to help fight vegeta. He WANTED to go to namek. He WANTED to stay and fight after piccolo almost died to frieza. Goku didnt see gohan train that first year. Didnt witness what it took to make gohan a fighter. All he saw was his son who now was strong and wanted to join the fight like his dad. And he knows gohan is more powerful than them, knows he can stop cell, FELT IT. Gohan has to defeat cell because no one else can. So he thinks if gohan gets angry enough fighting cell, itll be the answer. Because thats how its always been for goku. And in thirty seconds piccolo makes him realize he's wrong. He doesnt argue back, he listens and concedes and realizes that piccolo is right. And suddenly goku wants to abandon his plan and stop the fight. He made a mistake. He intends to get gohan out. And in the end, he still ended up being right, but it doesnt change what goku now knows. Gohan isnt like him and he doesnt enjoy fighting.
Goku would have NEVER made gohan fight if he thought he didnt want to. You know this whenever adult gohan gets involved in a fight and goku apologizes that he had to. Or when someone suggests gohan for a battle and goku is like nah he's "out of practice," even when they have time FOR PRACTICE. He never wants to force gohan into a situation like cell again. Because cell was a mistake and goku has learned from it. So he never asks Gohan to fight anymore. If Gohan wants in then of course he's in. But he wants his son to be able to choose that. He wants gohan to be HAPPY and if thats not fighting then thats perfectly alright with goku.
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So it wasnt just about keeping the earth safe. Or his friends. It was knowing that in the safety of gokus absence, gohan wouldnt have to fight either. There would be less threats, less chances of his son being forced into battle. And sure he also trusted that gohan and the others could keep the earth safe if they had to, but he was banking on the threat level significantly decreasing instead.
And decrease it did. They had seven whole years of peace. Not a single threat. Meanwhile from the moment Raditz shows up to gokus death to cell, it all takes place within the span of FIVE YEARS. The longest they went without a threat was the three year gap spent training for the androids. And they spent every waking moment knowing they were coming.
And then if you look at trunks future... majority of the human population being wiped out by the androids. Majority of gokus friends. His son. All dead. Because of him. Because he defeated the red ribbon army when he was a child. And that very easily could have been their future as well. So Goku does his job in preventing that. He saves all of them. And if hes the only one who ends up dead, well... it doesnt matter. Because they aren't. And he intends to keep it that way. So he stays in otherworld, to keep them safe and to give his son a future that he can choose. If Gohan has to fight, then he can. But at least his father wouldnt be the one bringing the threats to his door.
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