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sondepoch · 4 years

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HC: Married life with the boys!

With one chaotic human and a handful of boys too attractive for their own good, it's always been a simple matter of time before love found its way into the Devildom. And where love blooms, marriage often follows—and nothing will stop these boys from giving their human all the love in the world.

Word Count: 5.9k

*Mild NSFW themes for Beel & Diavolo ;)

Characters: All Brothers + Undateables - Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

It highkey blows everyone’s mind when the two of you get married

Because absolutely nothing changes

Lucifer still reprimands you if you do something ridiculous, he still crosses his arms and frowns when you tease him, he still sends a scowl your way when you mess around with Diavolo - if anything, the two of you are distant, and alarmingly so to everyone who gazes upon the supposedly happy couple

But that’s only because they can’t see what goes down in private

And yes - the grass is greener behind the closed door of Lucifer’s study

It was different when the two of you were simply in a relationship: Lucifer’s pride was always there. He would allow you to have your way with him, touch his hair and kiss him and hold him, but he could only reciprocate so much

But now that you’re married?

If anything, Lucifer’s pride dictates that he now has to be open with you, the single person he trusts more than anyone else in the world

Something that he can only do in private

And honestly - you savor moments when you’re alone with him because of it

For the first time, he is the one to initiate contact. The barrier of pride is broken, and in its place lingers Lucifer’s neverending desire to be wrapped in your arms

It doesn’t matter if you’re smaller than him, you are big spoon

You pamper him, giving him all the forehead kisses and tight hugs and quiet handholding he could ever desire. And in exchange, he finally becomes honest with his emotions - finally casting his pride away so that he can ask you when he wants a hug, when he wants a kiss, when he’s needy for affection and love, and he wants you to give it

It’s reached the point where he only wants to be alone with you, eternally savoring the feeling of your arms around him and pulling him closer - finally vocal about his desires

But he does feel guilty that he can only do this behind closed doors

So slowly, very slowly, he tries to sacrifice his pride and begin treating you different publicly

It starts small: a more tender voice whenever he addresses you, a secondary “are you sure?” whenever he’s worried that you’re uncomfortable, a ghost of a smile on his lips when you laugh so merrily

But soon, it morphs into small touches: fingers brushing against each other when you walk, a hand on your back when you’re next to each other, standing closer to you than everyone else

Slowly, the people around you become relieved. They start to understand that you are like any married couple, but that Lucifer was simply having a hard time adjusting to the abrupt closeness

And then, on the day when you and his brothers throw him a surprise birthday party, Lucifer is so overwhelmed by love that he kisses you then and there, right in front of everyone, pride be damned

And the process is slow going, but eventually he becomes as open with you in public as he is in private, until the two of you are so close that it seems nothing can ever keep him from holding your hand the way he wants again

Mammon

s m u g

It still blows his mind that you chose him out of everyone, that you chose him to marry and love and spend the rest of your life with

And while he is absolutely dumbfounded by this fact, it won’t stop him from rubbing it everyone else’s face at every chance

“Hey guys, wanna go to this all-inclusive resort next month?” Mammon grins, an uncharacteristically innocent smile on his face. “I’ll pay and all!”

“Oh, yes!” Asmo squeals while Beel’s ears perk up at the word all-inclusive. “I have so many cute outfits that I can’t wait to wear!”

“Oh wait, my bad!” Mammon exclaims dramatically, a silly grin on his face. “Looks like it’s only for married couples. Guess I’ll just take MC then, sorry guys!”

PDA turns up by 10000000%

Man is a touchy demon by default, so in private (now that you’re married) he finally has the courage to quietly cuddle you the way he’s always wanted to

But bring him into public?

Oh boy

You cannot get him to stop touching you. Ever.

There is always a hand on your butt, or two arms around draped around your neck, or a single arm linked with your arm, but no matter what, Mammon makes sure that you guys are touching and that you are intimate

The only time you’re in public and he might not actively touch you is if you’re the one touching him - and holy hell, when you do, this demon melts in your hands

LOVES it when you get possessive. Man wants you to be greedy with him, just like he is with you, so if you yank his attention away from other demons in a fit of jealousy, he’ll just find it hot

Tangibly, the nature of your relationship hasn’t changed much after marriage. You both still live in the House of Lamentation (though you have moved into his room) he’s still in debt (but things are better than before, and Lucifer doesn’t shout as much), and he still has an only slightly unhealthy obsession with Goldie (fixed only by the fact that you have told him that no, he should not sleep clutching his credit card like a teddy bear)

But inside, marriage means everything to this demon

Man was assertive before, but never confident, ya know? All those big, fancy words were more of a coverup for his insecurity after being made fun of for so long

But now?

His confidence is real

And because of it, being around him is actually easier. He doesn’t need to call himself The Great Mammon or remind you to come to him when you need protecting - because at last, he believes those words

Why?

Because when he falls asleep every night with his head buried in the crook of your neck, it’s to your words of praise, slowly but steadily building his confidence up

And he loves it

(Bonus:) When he proposed, he proposed with ten rings because “you’re better than everyone else so you deserve more rings than everyone else”

Leviathan

Sigh

This man really tried to talk you out of marrying him

Of course, by that time the wedding date was already final and everything ,so you shut him up with a firm whack on the back of the head, but that never stops Levi from being continually insecure

It’s not that he doesn’t want to be married to you

It’s that he’s worried you’re missing out on something by being married to him

Poor baby is so precious

And so insecure

At the beginning of your marriage, it takes hours to convince him that he’s not “unworthy” of your love

Often in the morning, you’ll be able to tell that he’s having self-deprecating thoughts just by the look in his eye, so you’ll cuddle and kiss and love him for hours until it’s almost lunchtime - and only then, after hours of you reassuring him and reminding him why you love him, does he begin to believe that he isn’t a “yucky otaku”

For the remainder of the day, Levi makes sure to repay you in full - literally showering you in love as he makes you his Player 2 for every video game, going as far as to allow you to sit in his lap while he reads manga over your shoulder

And while things often reset at night - and the next morning the demon looks equally fearful about your decision to marry him, there’s no denying that the amount of time it takes to convince him that you love and want him is growing shorter and shorter

And then, one day, when Levi wakes up, he doesn’t have that look in his eyes at all

And he just straight up kisses you

This is the story of why Levi kisses you every morning, first thing in the morning (even if it’s just a forehead kiss)

Man is eternally grateful to you for bearing with him (despite you insisting that you weren’t “bearing’ with him - you were doing it out of love) while he was so hesitant and fearful, and vows to return every ounce of love tenfold

Man will do anything for you

Of course, he still prefers to stay indoors and to marathon TSL with you

But he does stop glancing away every time you praise him, and all the instances where he might have previously insulted himself now turn into simple blushes where he wraps you in a hug to hide his warm cheeks

Man is surprisingly touchy, even when he’s not fighting with other for your attention

100% sleeps best if you’re spooning him - no questions asked

(And please don’t ask questions - he’ll get so embarrassed)

And yes, after much begging him, he does finally purchase a bed for the two of you to sleep in instead of his bathtub (which is surprisingly comfy, given that you can just lay on top of Levi and cuddle him)

But yes, sometimes he will randomly lift you up in the middle of the night and carry you to the bathtub, because while there’s no chance this man is letting go of you as you sleep, he will always prefer the bathtub

Sigh

But you love him anyway <3

Satan

No one would have thought that the Avatar of Wrath would be able to lead such a peaceful life, but the second you guys get married, that’s what things are

Peaceful

Man treats you like royalty, making sure that things are always perfect for you

Mornings are no longer spent at the dining table, but are instead spent on the small table in Satan’s bedroom, where the two of you roll out of bed every morning and lazily curl up together on the same armchair while drinking tea and coffee, chatting about whatever dreams you had

Afternoons are quiet: Satan’s nose in a book and your fingers occupied with whatever your favorite pastime is, but you guys are always right next to each other, always touching in some way

Evenings are calm - Satan will sometimes play a disc of your favorite human world band or will put on some music of his own preferred Devildom artists, and the two of you will simply talk until it’s nighttime and you both are sleepy

In essence, man mellows out after you marry him

And the reason?

He always feels so calm. It’s like you’ve quelled the eternal storm within his heart by marrying him, by promising that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together - and Satan hardly thinks he has any need for emotions like rage and anger when he always feels so blissfully happy with you

It becomes his favorite thing in the whole world to just pull you onto his lap and play with the ring around your finger, listening to the sound of your voice

He’s just so soft for you

Highkey wants to spend the rest of his life locked away inside his room with you, away from other people and other things that make him angry, but he will venture out into public with you because he knows that there’s value in exposing oneself to various social environments

In fact, now if he leaves the house at all, it’s usually with you by his side

His favorite place to visit is 100% the cat shelter, with the local, cozy bookstore taking its place as a close second

But this man will not hesitate to throw hands with anyone who disrespects you

It’s actually one of the reasons why he finds it so tedious to go outside - because no matter what, there’s always some foolish demon that treats you poorly, and then Satan’s disposition dictates that he can’t let that demon go home until the fool learns his place and apologizes

Of course, after the whole ordeal you guys 100% go somewhere to cheer each other up, and that’s the story of how you become the local ice cream store’s most valued customers

But Satan will always prefer being safe in his room with you, surrounded by his books and your things and everything that screams home

And are you guys secretly hiding a cat in your room?

Who knows?

All you can say is that when the stack of “books” eternally buried under Satan’s desk sneezes, it’s not because Satan “enchanted them” to do so

;)

Asmodeus

d e d i c a t e d

h u s b a n d o

Anyone can see the switch in Asmo when he settles down and marries you

Man changed when you guys started dating for sure. His posts on Devilgram began featuring you, he spent money he would have spent on hair products on buying you gifts, he stopped talking about himself and began focusing on complimenting you

But now that you’re married? And shit is official?? And you’ve actually legally sworn that you want to spend the rest of your life with him???

It’s the first time Asmo cries tears of joy

Man pulls a full 180 - there’s no longer any such thing as Asmo, or even MC. No, the two of you are now a package deal - and everywhere you go, it’s Asmo AND MC

And the whole Devildom knows about you two

And really, how could they not?

Ever since Asmo made that one post on Devilgram where the two of you are posing, flashing the camera your engagement rings - every single post Asmo has made is of you

In fact, some of his posts don’t even have him in it - they’re just you

Because this boi is so smitten for you

And he wants the whole world to know it

You guys start matching everything (or everything that’s fashionable. matching t-shirts are NOT the wave, honey, so put those back)

Nail polish? Matching. Jewelry? Matching. Aesthetics? Matching.

Asmo has so much love in his heart that it literally comes pouring out in every action he does

Man will miss his beauty sleep for you if you ask him for a glass of water in the middle of the night. And better yet, he won’t even complain if you keep him up late, as long as it means he gets to hold you close and shower you in kisses

And if you thought Asmo before marriage was touchy, then you have a big surprise in for you

Asmo’s touches are no longer sexual. (Or some of them are, but only when you’re ready for it ;)) He’s now more preoccupied with the closeness that accompanies touching you, and so his skin is always brushing by yours even in the briefest of touches, because it always sends such a lovely rush of warmth to his heart whenever you touch

Everything reminds him of you

Man will send you pictures of trees, birds, flowers (honestly anything beautiful) with the caption saw this today and it reminded me of you xoxo

And though he maintains the ruse of this being completely casual, that this marriage is just another wonderful thing that’s happened to him, you know that he never stops fangirling over the fact that you’ve actually chosen him to love and marry

And yes, he was an angel born to be loved: he was the jewel of the heavens and everyone who looked upon him was instantly charmed

But to him, none of that matters

The only love he cares about is yours, and now that you’ve given it to him, you’ve literally brought heaven to him because there’s nothing in the world he would trade for this

Beelzebub

Imagine being married to Superman

That.

That is what this marriage is like.

To the rest of the world, you are literally untouchable - because the moment you marry him, Beel will not allow anyone to mistreat you

Did you think he was baby? That he was precious?

Well, you were right. But now that the two of you are married, he looks at you with that same lens of protectiveness, and he wants to shield you from all the evil in the Devildom

Man is devoted in public and in private: nothing will stop him from showcasing his love for you

Expect to be offered food at all hours of the day, to be lifted up and hugged at random, and to be given forehead kisses on the daily

And listen, when Beel kisses you on the forehead in public, it’s not just a show of affection to show the world how much he loves you. It’s a silent threat to anyone who might hurt you - a silent warning that Beel has extended his protective domain over to you, and now anyone who messes with you is messing with him and will not be shown mercy

That’s only in public tho - in private, this man goes back to being the most precious thing in the world

Many

KISSES

Contrary to public expectation, Beel is just like his younger brother in that he adores lazing around with you in bed, laying kisses across your skin for hours on end while you just sigh in bliss

He just adores the intimacy of the whole situation alongside the sensation of your smaller frame being literally enveloped by his own

His favorite thing in the whole world is laying on his side with his head resting on top of yours, your back pressed against his chest while he hugs you from behind and listens to you rant about whatever. And while this is going on, he will absolutely slide his ring off his finger and absentmindedly slide it onto yours, watching as the larger band dangles so loosely off even the thickest of your fingers

It actually opens up a whole new kink realization to him: that he adores seeing you in his things and watching the way your smaller frame is nearly swallowed up by all his clothes

And while it has always been normal for you to casually wear his shirts and walk around his room in them without anything else on, the fact that the two of you are married gives him the confidence to sneak you out of his room looking like that, where you occasionally run into his brothers. And the sight of you dressed in his clothes in front of other people awakens a side of him that he never knew existed

100% tries to get you to leave the house looking like that

“Babe, I can’t wear this outside”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not wearing any underwear beneath this and if the wind blows, then—”

“You’re not wearing any underwear?”

And then Beel realized that he really had discovered a new kink

Belphegor

The marriage no one foresaw

Nah, but fr tho

It’s not that Belphie doesn’t love you - even a blind man can tell that he’s hopelessly fallen for you

It’s just that you guys were acting like a married couple so long before you guys got married that no one thought there was any point in actually sealing the deal

And honestly, things really don’t change much after you both get married

You still sleep in the same bed, you still cuddle each other at night, you still bicker back and forth

From a distance, it seems like the nature of your relationship is entirely unchanged, save for the fact that you both have matching bands around your ring fingers

B U T

That’s only because no one else can see how Belphie treats you in private

Where there would once be peaceful naps where he dozed off on your thighs to the feeling you playing with his hair, he now spends that time lost in slow conversations with you, their topics varying based on whatever has popped through his mind that day

Man realizes that, now that you’re his spouse, he wants to know everything about you

And he’s willing to spend all the time in the world learning these things

He’ll lie you down on the bed and play with your hair, asking you the most random questions

“Do you dislike mushrooms?”

“If you had a pet frog, what would you name it?”

“What do you think of stickers?”

Of course, that may be because your answers are utterly ridiculous

“Only if they stand over four inches”

“Fluffy”

“They’re only good if they smell good”

And for the longest time, you really only humor his questions with responses because, well, he’s your husband and you think that he just wants to get to know you better (albeit in a rather unorthodox method)

But then, one day, the two of you are casually walking through the Devildom market in preparation for it being Belphie’s turn to make dinner, and the demon selects the ingredients to your favorite dish without even consciously knowing what it is

And you realize that every question you answered was one Belphie took to heart, and that the reason he always wants to learn so much about you is so that he can use the information to be the best husband he can be

And when you figure it out, you nearly tackle Belphie to the ground in a hug, because you’re so touched

“You’re the best husband ever!” You murmur, wrapping your legs around his waist as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, clinging to him like a koala as you trap him in an embrace he can’t wriggle out of

“Did you really just realize why I always ask these things?” Belphie questions, sighing as if he’s disappointed

But even he can’t hide the small grin that creeps onto his face as you hug him tighter, and you know he’s just savoring the affection. And who are you to deny him any?

Solomon

cHAoTiC

Arguably the most stressful marriage, but not for either of you: for the people around you

You guys are that couple

Things were hectic enough before, when you guys would pull pranks on the demons every time you were together. But now that you’re in love? And married??? And ALWAYS together?!?!?

RIP to everyone around you

The two of you never really seem to grow old - your energy is seemingly inexhaustible and you’ve already pranked all 72 demons that Solomon has pacts with four times over (and yes, that does include Barbatos, who has now made multiple threats to break the pact)

But, again, this is one of those instances where there’s a sharp difference between how you guys act in public vs. in private

In public, things are a hot mess. You guys are always laughing, always joking, always smiling

But in the privacy of Solomon’s bedroom, without any potential targets for pranks and any demons that you guys need to keep your guard up around, things change substantially

Contrary to public expectation, you guys are almost completely silent when you’re alone - but it’s not an awkward silence, by any means. No, the silence that you and Solomon find is nothing short of comforting, and every time you guys escape to the confines of his room, you both let out a breath neither of you realized you’d been holding

Because although you guys are strong, and arguably the most powerful team of humans in the Devildom, the fact remains that you guys are human.

And you can only let your guards fully down around each other

Nights are spent in the absence of any loud laughter or obnoxious rackets, the two of you preferring to savor the sound and comfort of silence. You guys fit together like pieces to a puzzle, and no words are necessary for the two of you to change into your nightwear and snuggle up under the same blanket, soft sighs escaping your lips the moment your skin comes into contact with one another

It’s only times like now, when there’s no one else in the world around, that you both can find true peace

And on nights like these, Solomon will just hold you close to him, sometimes pressing his forehead against yours, and he’ll stroke your sides softly, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin

And of course, you’ll reciprocate in full, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses to the man’s jaw as he continues his ministrations, sometimes letting out a quiet hum of contentment as you pull him closer

It’s a relationship where speech isn’t necessary; you guys are so in sync with each other and so helplessly in love that words only complicate things

But still, on occasion, one of you will open your mouths to disrupt the silence, and on nights like these, there’s really only one thing either of you will even consider saying

“I love you”

And if there’s one certainty in life, it’s the fact that the other will repeat the same phrase back, punctuating it with a kiss that reminds you both why you love each other so much

And just how worth it this marriage really is

Simeon

The marriage that everyone foresaw

Nah, but fr tho

This is the relationship where everyone knew about it except for you two

Even the day Simeon proposed: it was so spontaneous - he was planning on doing it the following week - but every single person who crossed paths with him could see how helplessly in love he was with you, so it shocked no one when the two of you announced the “surprise” that you were getting married

And this is arguably one of the best decisions you have ever made

In every way

Simeon’s an angel, so marriage is probably the most important to him out of everyone. He was treating you like royalty long before you two got together, but now that the two of you are married? This man CANNOT hold back. And believe him, when he says he will get you whatever you want - he will get you whatever you want

Funny part is, most of the time, this man knows what you want before you do

You’ll be diligently taking notes at the RAD library and you won’t realize that your pencil is blunt until the words are barely legible - but when you get up to find a sharpener, you’ll see that Simeon tossed one onto your desk right before he left to grab a book

You’ll wake up at three in the morning and realize you’re thirsty - but the moment you open your eyes and sit up on the bed, Simeon will already be there with that charming smile and a glass of water in his hand

You’ll be returning from a session of painting your nails with Asmo, only to realize that there’s no way you can grab your keys from your pocket without smudging the semi-dry nail polish - and Simeon will miraculously come home at that second, kissing you on the forehead before opening the front door for you

Like seriously, it’s a gift

Of course, then there comes the day where you try to return the favor, trying to study the way his eyebrows furrow as he reads his book to determine when he’s about to stop and turn on the TV instead (only for you to triumphantly hand him the remote)

And then the affection never ends and the rest of your marriage is characterized by nonstop trying to outdo each other in thoughtfulness that everyone just looks at and sighs because it’s so wholesome

And will Luke become your and Simeon’s honorary child?

Absolutely.

And does Luke hate this in every single way?

Oh yes:

“This is ridiculous! I am two thousand years older than MC! You can’t expect me to have to listen to them every time they tell me to do something! They should be listening to me!”

“Watch your language, young man,” Simeon warns. “I won’t have you talk that way in this house.”

“It’s not even a house!” Luke screams in defiance. “And I refuse! I will say what I want, when I want, and how I want!”

“That’s enough, Luke. Go to your room and think about what you’ve said until you’re ready to apologize!”

And God help Luke the day he accidentally calls Simeon “Dad,” because nothing can break the family after that moment

Barbatos

“Teach me.”

Listen, marriage isn’t a concept that demons are familiar with

They love you, so they’ll do it for your sake - but if a demon weds a human, the demon is 100% playing it by ear and desperately hoping that they’re doing things right

But Barbatos?

Nah, this man gives everything his all, and you’re more important than everything combined. So suffice it to say that when he marries you, he is committed to being the best husbando he can possibly be

And how does he go about achieving such a thing, you ask?

Why, two simple words: “Teach me.”

He asks that you be completely upfront and honest with him about what you desire, and he does everything he can to fulfill them

Things start slow, of course

You mention to him that married couples often sleep in the same bed and share a bedroom - and then he’s requested that Diavolo provide him a new room (one which doesn’t have doors that lead to other timelines) where the two of you live together

Then you talk about how married couples usually have matching wedding rings, and the next morning you find two obscenely expensive (but beautifully artistic) rings, and a wide-eyed butler asking if they’re to your liking

You explain that married couples sometimes get closer to each other by having a family pet and (bless his heart) Barbatos takes you to an aquarium the next day and the two of you bring home a pet fish

And things are slow going with Barbatos, but progress is steady

And soon, he starts to get the hang of it

You guys don’t just sleep in the same bed, he starts to pull you closer. Casual touches turn into cuddling, and then all of a sudden he can only sleep if he’s spooning you in the process

He decides that he likes it when you wear things he buys you, so he gifts you even more woefully expensive but equally stunning jewelry, until you’re always leaving your shared room with one of Barbatos’s presents adorned on your figure

And although Barbatos is too responsible to get rid of the (immortal) pet fish he bought, the two of you have a talk and then you head down to the pet store and buy an actual pet, one which you guys can touch and hug and cuddle

And before long, Barbatos doesn’t need you to teach him how to be a good husband, he realizes that most of it is instinctive; he understands that to make you happy, he really just needs to do the things that make him happy

Of course, he still approaches many things textbook style

Every morning and every night, man will whisper that he loves you - no excuses. You guys could have a fight and he will still do this

But gradually as time moves on, he sees that marriage doesn’t have to be a big, fancy show

And he starts to just savor the sensation of being helplessly in love with you

Diavolo

POWER COUPLE

No, but literally - you guys are the most powerful couple in the world

And Diavolo is living for it

You are royalty now, and Diavolo won’t let you forget that for a single second

You want a snack? That’s fine, here’s a nine-course buffet featuring food from the human world, Celestial Realm, and Devildom

Been feeling tired and want a break? No worries, the next week has been declared a newfound Devildom holiday, so rest up for as long as you want

You don’t like this specific brand of nail polish? Oh okay, there are now four hundred samples in your room to help you find one you do like

It honestly gets to the point where you have to sit Diavolo down (*cough* sit on Diavolo’s lap *cough*) and tell him that no, when you tell him you’re considering cutting your hair, he doesn’t have to hire four professional hairstylists and a consultant to help you select the style

After much discussion he agrees to talk these things out with you

And it’s the sweetest thing in the world

“Babe, can you help me get this jar? I can’t reach it.”

“Does this mean you just want me to get you the jar? Or do you want me to make it a law that all Devildom households cannot have shelves higher than the reach of the standard human height?”

“Just the jar, hon.”

“Oh”

Will never deny you anything, ever

Actually begins putting your interests in front of his own, asking Barbatos to cook your favorite meals and desserts instead of Diavolo’s own preferences because hey, food is just food, and it makes him so happy to see your face light up when you find that dinner is your favorite dish

And listen there’s one thing you need to know about: this man’s bed

Holy shit, nothing compares

It is the most comfortable thing in the world, and you’re pretty sure that even God is missing out if he hasn’t taken a nap on Diavolo’s bed because goddamn that shit is amazing

Like you love Diavolo to death but his bed is absolutely revolutionary with how comfortable it is, and you really feel like you could spend an eternity just starfished out under the covers

And of course, since you love the bed and Diavolo loves you, the two of you can spend hours just lazing around in the morning, cuddling and giggling until it’s almost lunchtime

And mornings with Diavolo are the best

Again, though, you’re royalty, now that you’re married to him. So Diavolo isn’t going to let you be woken up like a commoner. With him, there are no alarms, no loud voices, none of that obnoxious shaking you awake or any such nonsense

No, when Diavolo wakes you up every morning, it’s truly in a way fit for royalty, in a way that only he can do - a way that you honestly prefer to all the others ways you’ve been woken

And does this include Diavolo smirking up with you every morning from between your thighs?

Absolutely.

But does that stop him from doing it every day?

Never.

5K notes · View notes

starstruckkittensweets · 2 years

Text

iii. gladiolus || myosotis

Summary: A visit to the tea shop brings a slew of pleasant memories, as well as a few familiar faces.

Fandom: Attack on Titan Pairing: Levi x Reader Words: 5.5k

A/N: I PROMISE I’M NOT DEAD! I’m sorry about the wait for this chapter, my dears! This story kinda took a backseat over the summer while I graduated and worked on a few collab pieces. But now with Kinktober wrapped up and my inspiration for AWWW coming back, I think I’ll be able to work on this story here and there. I have most of the story planned out, it’s just the writing process that’s taking so long haha! But really, I can’t WAIT to get into the meat of this story and the relationship/backstory between Levi and Reader. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this (long overdue) chapter!

Warnings: Season 4 spoilers, angst and feels, mentions of canon-typical violence, mentions of canon death, jealousy, emotionally abusive/negligent parents, implied past relationships, age difference (older man, younger woman)

“Myosotis” Masterlist

Just like he said, the tea shop is between Trost and Karanes Avenue. A small white building with blue trimmings, and a blue awning above the entrance. A few tables are set around outside, but the chairs are pulled up and stacked on top of the surface.

You pull your scarf closer to your face. It’s much too cold to sit outside, anyways.

Above the door is a small wooden sign, painted white with stark black letters. Your frown melts into a smile when you read the words written above it: Wings of Liber-Tea.

A silly name, not at all what you expected it to be named. Levi couldn’t have named it himself. If anything, that sounded more like something Hanji would come up with...

Your chest tightens at the thought of her. First Levi, then Petra and the boys, and now Hanji. You want to see them all, to catch up with all of them and see how this new world has been treating them.

In time, you remind yourself. One little step at a time, right?

So, without further ado, you push the door open and step inside.

Almost at once, a wave of heat washes over your body. You snap the door shut as fast as you can, desperate to keep the wintry air out. When you’re sure it’s closed, you glance around the interior, and a flood of nostalgia hits you all at once.

You’ve never been inside this little shop. You’d only just learned of its existence yesterday. And yet, there’s something about it that reminds you of home.

The inside is crowded with small brown tables with cushioned chairs, and a line of booths traces the left side of the shop. The counter to the right is a dark mahogany color, stocked with all different kinds of snacks, including bagged cookies and lightly salted chips. A glass case is wedged in between the two sections of the counter, proudly showing off a wide selection of muffins, cookies, brownies, bagels, and other pastries that have clearly been made just this morning. At the very end of the counter rests a cash register, and towards the back of the store, there’s a small door, probably leading to the back room for employees.

Speaking of employees, you can’t spot a single one in here. A few customers are seated at the tables, munching on snacks and sipping at their drinks. You don’t see any faces you recognize.

Your throat grows parched. Are Petra and Oluo even here today? What if they’re off, and you came here for nothing? Is Levi here, at least? Or is it his day off, as well? Does he really want you to come here and see him? If he was, why was he so eager to get away from you yesterday? Does he regret telling you where the location of the shop was? Does he regret meeting up with you in the first place?

As all of these questions run through your mind, you almost fail to hear your own name being called. Your eyes widen at the familiar voice, and you turn your head at once.

Standing in the doorway, all the way on the other side of the shop, is a ginger-haired girl with bright amber eyes. Dressed in a white button-down shirt, black trousers, and a light blue apron around her waist, it’s clear she’s an employee here. Then, why would she be calling for you?

You almost don’t recognize her, but when the shock subsides, the memories come pouring in.

“...Petra?”

Her face breaks out into a grin at your voice. Without another word, she races toward you and throws herself at you; you barely have time to catch her in your arms and hold her close.

“Oh my gosh,” she whispers your name against your hair, “I can’t believe it! You’re here! You're actually here!”

She sounds so hopeful, so relieved that you’re finally here with her. You swallow hard. For a moment, you feel guilty for not knowing about this place sooner.

“I can’t believe it, either.” You hug her back as hard as you can, completely disregarding the customers around you. This is the first time you’ve really been able to hold her. The last time you saw her, her body was being thrown from a cart—that was after she had been crushed against a tree by the Female Titan.

You suppress a shudder. No need to think about that right now. After all, she’s here right now, right? She’s alive and well, in your arms, where you know she’s safe. Nothing can hurt her anymore.

Finally, she pulls away from you, but she keeps her hands wrapped around your own. “How have you been? What have you been up to? We have so much to catch up on!” Suddenly, her eyes slant into a glare as she peers at your neck. “You look skinny. Have you been eating properly? You’re not skipping your meals like you used to, are you?”

A blush settles over your face. As much as you used to complain about it in your past life, you’ve missed Petra fussing over you like a mother. A real mother.

“No, I’m not,” you reply with a nervous laugh. “I’m eating enough, I promise!”

She huffs, but thankfully, she drops the subject. But then she turns to your coat, and her jaw drops.

“Wait, you came here in just that?!” She grabs your scarf and folds it up, exposing the collar of your coat. “It’s too cold to be walking around in that thing—and I bet you don’t even have a jacket underneath that,” she mutters, shaking her head. “I mean, seriously! You were always the one complaining about how cold it was. You’d think you would’ve learned by now!”

You can’t help it—you laugh out loud, slapping a hand over your mouth. Petra peers at you with dark eyes, her eyebrow inching up skeptically. But that only makes you laugh harder.

God, you’ve missed moments like this with her. You can only hope you’ll be able to have more. You have to make up for lost time, after all.

“Sorry,” you mumble through your palm, “I’m sorry. I just...” You pull your hand away and give her a smile. “I just missed you.”

Her gaze softens at that. “I missed you, too.”

But then there’s another voice in the crowd—a male one this time, scratchy and deep. The exact opposite of Petra’s. And the sound of it makes your throat tighten even more.

“Hey, what gives?! Stop slacking off, Petra! Chat with the customers on your own time!”

Immediately, her eyes flash dangerously, and she begins to march back towards the back of the shop, right to the door she had just come out of. She leans over and peers around the edge of the doorway, her voice ringing out sharply:

“Show some respect, Oluo! Look who came to visit!”

In a matter of moments, she’s pulling the poor man out of the room—by his ear, no less—and practically throws him toward you. It takes a few moments before his glare melts into something softer.

Your eyes grow warm. Here they are, finally in front of you, as if they never left in the first place. Both Petra and Oluo, your two dearest friends in the Special Operations Squad. It’s not as though you weren’t close to Eld and Gunther, but they were more like older brothers, and a few years older than you in age. Petra and Oluo were only a year older than you, and it was much easier to hang around with them than the others. They were too serious for your liking; at least Petra (and Oluo, to a certain extent) knew how to laugh and have fun once in a while.

Oluo clears his throat and looks away. It might be the lighting, but his face looks a little flushed. “Took you long enough, kid,” he grumbles, tugging at the sleeve of his button-down shirt. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

You give him a smile, face heating up with every word. “I missed you, too, you big oaf.”

His eyes flash, but you can see the warmth in them.

It’s not long before the three of you are gathered around the counter, eager to catch up on lost time. Only a few customers remain—most of them have left for the day—and the shop won’t be busy again until later tonight. You perch yourself on one of the stools at the counter as Oluo leans against the cash register. Petra takes her time sorting through the snacks in the glass case as the three of you begin to talk, as if you were still on Levi’s squad.

“What brings you here?” Oluo is the first to speak up. Maybe it’s out of genuine shock of seeing you again, but he’s not as brutish as he usually is. “Haven’t seen you here since we opened.”

“Ah, I live here, actually. Well, my mom does. I'm just visiting her for the week before I go back up to school.”

Petra’s eyes brighten at that. “Oh, really? Where do you go?”

“University of Sina.”

You know you’re just rehashing the same conversation you had with Levi yesterday, but it feels good. Petra and Oluo are much different than the stoic captain. And besides, you have so much to catch up on. There are things you can tell them that you wouldn’t even dream of sharing with your former captain.

Levi.

Your eyes drop to your lap at the thought of him. Should you tell them you met up with him already? Maybe they can figure out why he suddenly left you yesterday. Then again, they might not know the answer; both of them died without knowing the full story between you and Levi, so the odds of them knowing something you don’t are pretty slim.

Still, it’s worth a shot, right? Or maybe you’re just desperate at this point...

“So,” Petra begins, sliding you a strawberry muffin from the glass case, “have you met up with Levi yet?”

As Oluo grumbles to himself about the snack being “on the house,” you shrug your shoulders. “Well... Kind of? I saw him yesterday, when I came back to town...” You trail off, unsure of how to continue.

It’s always been awkward, discussing your captain with these two. Between Oluo’s constant attempts to imitate him, and Petra’s obvious affection for him, you learned early on to avoid talking about him altogether. It was just too weird for you, especially when you had just joined the squad. At seventeen, and with a fiery crush on the captain, you learned to keep your feelings a secret.

Besides, you never wanted to upset Petra. She knew him first, after all.

“Huh...” Petra places her chin in the palm of her hand, seemingly lost in thought. “Well, if you want to wait a bit, he should be coming here in about an hour. He’s always comes in with the night shift.”

Your heart leaps in your throat at the thought of seeing him again so soon. Is that really a good idea? You want to talk with him again, but with Petra and Oluo hanging over your shoulder? You might as well just wait for another time.

Then again... You don’t know when the next time you’ll see him will be. For all you know, he could up and leave tomorrow, and you wouldn’t be able to see him until you returned back home in winter. Although it’s a scary thought, you’re probably better off seeing him today, when you know where he’ll be.

Suddenly, Petra grabs a fistful of Oluo’s sleeve and tugs him over to the edge of the counter. “Stop slacking off,” she teases. “Go check on the customers already. Looks like table two needs a refill.”

Oluo rolls his eyes and shakes his head. But he’s never been one to go against Petra’s orders. So he walks around the counter and heads to the table in the furthest corner, next to the door.

That’s when Petra leans in close, propping her elbows up on the counter. On instinct you lean in as well, and for a moment, you’re reminded of your days whispering to each other in the mess hall, teasing Oluo and the other boys under your breath.

“Now that he’s gone,” she whispers, “we can talk for real. What happened yesterday, when you met up with Levi?”

It takes every bit of strength you have not to choke on the strawberry muffin in your mouth. “W-what?”

She leans in closer—if that’s even possible—and stares at you with those big amber eyes. The eyes you saw in your nightmares, right after her body was tossed from the cart.

Just the memory of it makes you shiver.

“You seem sad. Did something happen between you two?”

“N-no. ...Why do you ask?”

She glances down at the counter between you. “It’s just... Well, when he came into work yesterday, he seemed...different.”

“How so?”

“...More...ah, I don’t know, sullen.”

Sullen? More so than usual? “But...isn’t he always like that?”

Petra shakes her head. “No, not since this place opened. But when he came in yesterday, he looked like…he was upset about something.”

Your chest tightens. Had seeing you again really put him in a bad mood? Did he not want to meet up with you again? Was his life really better off without you in it?

Your eyes drop down to the half-eaten muffin in front of you. Suddenly, you don’t feel so hungry anymore. But you take another big bite before wrapping up the rest. You don’t want to upset Petra.

Especially if you’ve already upset Levi.

“What did you guys even talk about, anyway?”

“Not much,” you answer a little too quickly. “We...we just talked about what we’ve been doing for the past few years. Then he told me about this place, and he said I should stop by sometime. And then...”

He only began to shrug you off when you mentioned your age to him. But you can’t exactly tell that to Petra. She doesn’t know the full story between you two.

“Well, whatever it was, I’m sure he’s fine now. So if you want to stay and see him, I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it.”

You shrug your shoulders and drop your eyes—and that’s when you see it.

A small golden band on the fourth finger of her left hand, glimmering in the bright lights of the tea shop. It’s simple but gorgeous, much like the ginger-haired girl herself. And when she catches you staring at it, she gives you a warm smile.

“Oh, I totally forgot to tell you about this!”

A flare of panic ignites in your chest. Is she engaged? To whom? Your mind instantly goes to the worst possible answer: the black-haired man who owns this tea shop.

Of course, those two would find each other in another life. Of course, they would try to date each other. They suited one another so well, like night and day, sunrise and sunset. It was only natural, given Petra’s affections for him, to seek out a relationship with him. And now that no one had to worry about the Titan war, she was free to pursue him in any way she liked.

“It’s been almost a month since he proposed.”

Your throat feels tight as you watch her twist it slightly on her finger. Then, with the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, she leans over the counter and motions to Oluo.

“Hey, did you tell her how you proposed yet?”

Wait, what?

It’s hard to hide your breath of relief. As the words sink in, you struggle to calm your racing heart.

No, she didn’t get that ring from Levi. She got it from Oluo, who’s had a crush on her for as long as you’ve known him.

The fact that she accepted his proposal surprises you more than the actual ring. You had no idea she felt for him like that. In your past life, she only seemed to have eyes for Levi.

Oluo glares back at her, a faint shade of pink splashed across his cheeks. “Shut up! If you’re so proud of it, why don’t you tell her?”

You stare down at your hands in your lap as Petra and Oluo continue to bicker around you. Your heartrate is still in a frenzy, but no amount of reassurance seems to calm you down.

You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep wondering about whether or not Levi has a significant other in this world. He’s what, thirty years old? Probably married at some point. Maybe he even has kids. And even though he doesn’t have a ring, he’s not really one to wear it out in the open like that. If anything, he’s wearing it on a chain around his neck—just like he did with his mother’s old bronze band, back in the other world.

Raising a hand to your head, you force yourself to recall everything involving your relationship with Levi. The two of you weren’t exactly a couple, but you did have your fair share of intimate moments. There was the kiss on the forehead before the 57th Expedition. Falling asleep in his arms the night before the battle for Shiganshina, when you were convinced you wouldn’t make it home. A kiss on the lips the night after the battle, when the Scout Regiment base was empty, save for ten surviving soldiers.

But those moments were few and far between. Things that happened in the heat of the moment. Nothing of great importance, right?

Except...

Your skin prickles at another memory, one from the night before the raid on Liberio. It’s the last intimate memory you have of him before everything goes dark. And it’s the one that makes your heart hurt the most.

Soft kisses, gentle touches, sweet moans filling the air—you can recall it clearly, as if it just happened yesterday.

No, stop it. Don't think about that here. You don’t want Petra asking you why you’re acting weird, do you? So stop it.

But it’s hard to push it out of your mind, especially when you can still feel his weight on top of you.

“I have to go.”

Petra’s forehead creases at your words. “What, why? Is something wrong?”

“N-no, I just...” I don’t want to be here right now. “...I need to head home. My mom won’t be happy if I stay out for too long.”

You wish you were joking, but it’s true. As long as you live beneath your mother’s roof, you live by her rules. That means not staying out of the house for long periods of time, unless you’re running errands for her. No staying out late at night—be back home by nine o’clock sharp. Never mind the fact you’re twenty-two years old and fully capable of taking care of yourself.

A groan bubbles up in the back of your throat. Why did you even come home in the first place?

“Oh, okay...” Petra’s face falls with a sad smile. “Well, it was nice catching up with you. You should come back before you leave for school, okay?”

You shrug your shoulders, sliding off the stool at the counter. “Yeah, I probably will.” If my mother doesn’t kill me by then. “It was nice seeing you, too.”

She knows something else is up—you can see it in the way she stares at you, amber eyes glued to your face. She’s always been a little too observant for her own good, just like Mikasa. No doubt she already has you figured out.

“...Oh, Petra?”

She tilts her head, waiting for you to continue. Behind you, the bell on the door chimes, signaling the arrival of a customer.

“If you see him...” You swallow hard. “...Tell Levi I’m sorry for upsetting him. I didn’t mean it...”

Someone gasps behind you. Your instincts kick in, muscles bunch up, preparing to make a break for it. But when you glance over your shoulder, all of that seems to melt away. You’re not running away—not with that face staring back at you.

Two strong arms coil around your upper body. Messy brown hair tickles your face. A high-pitched voice squeals in your ear. It’s a scene you know all too well—and one you’ve missed dearly.

“H-Hanji?”

The newcomer gives you a toothy smile, bright brown eyes gleaming behind shiny glasses. Glasses, ponytail, hands that are practically squeezing the life out of your arms. Without a doubt, you recognize her as Hanji Zoë, fourteenth Commander of the Scout Regiment, and enthusiastic Titan scientist.

When she says your name, it feels like a weight has been lifted off your chest. “I can’t believe it! Of all the days to walk in here, I run into you! Oh wow, Levi wasn’t lying when he said he ran into you yesterday! I can’t believe you’re in town!”

Wait, Levi? You glance around Hanji’s shoulder—and there he is, shrugging his coat off his shoulders. He eyes you coldly before heading to the side, towards the coat rank near the main counter.

Your throat grows tight. Suddenly, it feels like you’re back in your old life, nothing more than a measly subordinate, secretly pining for her captain.

“How have you been?” Hanji throws an arm around your shoulders, unintentionally shielding you from Levi’s line of sight. “It’s been so long! We have to catch up—hey, you two!” She shoots a playful glare in Petra and Oluo’s direction. “You weren’t planning on keeping her for yourselves, were you? You’re not the only ones who have to make up for lost time!”

While the nervous smile on your face says different, you’re glad to see Hanji again. As loud and outgoing as she is, you’ve missed her wild antics and her hyperactive voice. How many days had you spent in her office as a cadet, helping her with her Titan research reports? How many tired smiles had you exchanged with Moblit when she wasn’t looking? How many nights had you gone to bed with a massive headache, only to be right by her side the following morning? No matter how much she wore you out, you always treasured the time you spent at her side.

And none of that had changed, even when she became the Commander of the Scout Regiment. While she was less lively than she had been in her younger years, she never hesitated to smile at you or give you advice. She was still a good friend, one of the few you held close to your heart.

Petra shakes her head at the bespectacled woman’s accusation. “Of course not! We just happened to get to her first,” she adds with a wink.

Your gut starts to churn beneath their eyes. Between Petra’s voice, Hanji’s bear hugs, and Levi’s eyes—it’s all getting to be too much for you.

I have to get out of here.

“I’d love to stay and chat,” you tell them, hoping you sound less awkward than you feel, “but I need to get home. My mom will be looking for me—”

Oluo scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Sheesh, what are you, twelve? You really have a curfew?”

“Ah—well, I just don’t want her to get worried... I’ve been gone for a long time.” Not really.

Levi’s face hardens at your words. Out of everyone here, he’s the only one who has some idea of just how controlling your mother can be.

Knowing that makes you feel even more vulnerable than you did before.

But before you can make a beeline for the door, Petra holds out her hand. “Wait, give me your phone. At least we can keep in touch, right?”

You pause. What’s the harm in doing that? “...Yeah, alright.” You grab your phone and bring up your contacts before handing it over to her. “...And maybe we can meet up before I head back up to the city, like you said.”

You regret the words the moment they spill from your mouth. Why would you mention that in front of Hanji? In front of Levi?

It’s hard to explain this feeling. On one hand, you want to reconnect with them and catch up, just like the good old days. But on the other hand, you want nothing to do with any of them—especially if Levi’s going to keep glaring at you like that.

Why is he acting so cold all of a sudden? He didn’t act like this yesterday at the café...

A tremor makes its way down your spine. Is he regretting seeing you again in this new life? Is this his way of trying to push you away, so you keep your distance from him?

But why? He’s met up with Hanji, Petra, the rest of his old squad, and most likely the other veterans, like Erwin and Mike and Nanaba. Why would he only try to push you away?

Thankfully, Petra hands your phone back to you quickly, with her name and number recorded in your contacts. “If you ever want to talk or hang out, I’m always here.”

A warm weight rests on your upper back as Hanji leans into you to peer over your shoulder. “Ooh, can I put mine in, too? It’s been so long!”

You barely manage to stifle a laugh. Even in this life, Hanji is just as extravagant and bright-eyed as you remember her.

You hand over your phone and watch her type her number in. Meanwhile, Levi scoffs under his breath and makes his way past you, behind the counter and over to the back door. It’s hard to keep your eyes off of him; you hope you don’t look as desperate as you feel.

Why won’t he look at you?

“Here you go,” Hanji grins at you, shutting off your phone and shoving it back into your hands. “Let me know whenever you’re free! And maybe Shorty can join us one of these days.”

Shorty. How many times did Levi shake his head or roll his eyes at the silly nickname? How many times did he threaten to punch Hanji’s lights out for it, even though he never went through with it? How many times did you have to hear him complain about it under his breath, as the two of you spend your nights locked away in his office—

“Thanks, Hanji.” You try to match her radiant smile, but it falls flat at the mention of Levi. “I’ll see you all later, okay?”

A smile from Petra, a wave from Hanji, a gruff goodbye from Oluo—and you’re back on the streets, leaving the tea shop behind you. But before you can get too far away, you glance over your shoulder at the sign up above—Wings of Liber-Tea, you read to yourself and smile. The black letters, the white background, and right below the words, a pair of wings—one black and one white—crossed over together.

How did you miss that coming in?

It takes you a moment to collect yourself and begin walking again. All the while, all you can think about are the people inside that tea shop—the same ones you called your family for seven years of your life.

Maybe even longer than that, if you can remember that far.

With a sigh, you shove your hands into your coat pockets and continue on your way, with the dual Wings of Freedom fresh in your mind.

“Good, you’re home.”

Your mother barely glances up at you when you walk in through the door. It doesn’t bother you anymore; you’ve grown used to it.

“You got some more mail,” she says, sliding two envelopes over to you from across the kitchen table. The tops are peeled open, the letters inside already refolded. “Nothing important. Just some more interest letters for grad school.”

Suppressing a sigh, you swipe the letters up and hold them close. It’s not unusual for your mother to go through your mail. It’s a common occurrence nowadays, especially when you’re not here to go through it yourself.

“I need you to get some things at the store later; I can’t make it today before I head to work,” she says before standing up. “You can do that for me, right?”

It’s more of a statement than an actual question. “Yes, ma’am.”

“That’s good. The list’s already on the kitchen counter.” She heads out of the room without another word, eyes still fixed on the wad of mail in her hands.

Your eyes flutter over the addresses on the envelopes in your hand: one from Orvud College, and one from Paradis Institute. With a sigh, you drop them in the little cardboard box on top of the shredder in the corner of the room.

Once upon a time, you would’ve loved to go to grad school. It didn’t matter which one, any school would do. But now, there’s the ever-growing feeling of guilt in the pit of your stomach. Grad school means at least two more years out of this house—which equals two more years away from your mother.

She hadn’t been the most excited person when you got accepted into Sina four years ago, especially when you were pursuing a career in art. But as long as you handled all communication between yourself and the school, including loans filed under your name, there really wasn’t much she could say about it. For a brief time, Sina had been your little getaway home, a place where you could live your life without your mother breathing down your neck.

But your time is almost up. Once you graduate, your mother expects you to stay at home, to get a job somewhere in town and continue to live under her roof. You wouldn’t mind it so much if she didn’t always treat you with the cold shoulder.

Just like Levi.

You grimace at the thought. No, Levi’s not like that. He was never like that. He proved that over and over again in the real world. He was nothing like your mother.

Then why is he pushing me away?

You don’t have an answer for that.

When you get to your room, your phone buzzes in your pocket. It’s a text from Petra. And upon reading it, you’re quick to type a reply.

Petra Ral

Hello! What do you say about hanging out with us tomorrow night?

Reader

That sounds fun. Who else is coming?

Petra Ral

You, me, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, Levi, Isabel and Furlan.

Just a chance to catch up after hours at the tea shop. You in?

Reader

Sure! I’ll see you tomorrow night then.

You don’t recognize the last two names—they’re probably the people who work at the tea shop later in the night, the same ones Petra mentioned earlier in the day. But for some reason, you feel as though you’ve heard those names before.

Maybe in your past life? But you don’t recall two Scouts with those names. At least, not when you first joined the regiment.

Perhaps Levi would know...

It’s hard not to roll your eyes at the thought. As if. It’s hard enough to get the man to even look at you normally, and not as though you’re a burden or a menace.

He’s never treated you like this before. Even in your old life, when you were no more than a measly fifteen-year-old, fresh out of the cadet corps, he at least treated you with a grain of human decency. But now, it feels as though even the mere sight of you makes him angry.

But why? What could you have possibly done to him in the past that would warrant such treatment from him? Levi was never one to treat people horribly without a good reason. Perhaps you would be inclined to understand him better if you just knew why he was so upset with you in the first place.

With a defeated sigh on your lips, you flop down on your bed and stare up at the ceiling. A few moments later, you hear the door downstairs open and shut—and it’s not long before you hear your mother’s car pull out of the driveway.

Alone again.

Oh, well. You’re only home for a few days; you can’t spend your entire break worrying about what may or may not have happened between yourself and Levi. Your life doesn’t revolve around him—even if it did, at one point or another.

Maybe you’ll be able to distract yourself with Petra and the others tomorrow night, when you meet up with them.

The thought makes you smile just a bit. At least you have something to look forward to during your week at home.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #reincarnation au #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi x you #aot x you #aot x reader #myosotis #aot fics

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ackerfics · 3 years

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Hi can i please request a soft coffe date with Levi and after the date reader and Levi go in the park sit on a bench reader falls asleep on Levi’s lap or shoulder (u choose) and he caries her bridal style to home he just slips in bed beside her but he wakes her up accidentally and like he says sorry like so many times but she just kisses him and snuggles in his chest.After that they are both asleep.Love your works so so much!💕

best part — levi ackerman

— levi ackerman x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: none, just fluff <3

— summary: it’s your first anniversary with levi and he made it a day to look forward to in the coming years.

— word count: 2.8k

— author’s notes: aaaaa thank you so much for loving my works, that means so much to me !! i slightly altered the request and made it a picnic date with some coffee on the side. i had fun writing this bc it screamed single in my face. [sighs] i feel like i’m torturing myself by writing these scenarios sksklfjwe anyways happy reading !!

reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

Feelings were something that Levi couldn’t get a grasp on since he could remember. He was a stoic and reserved man, even among his peers — that was until he met the woman who made him weak in the knees. The first time he met her, he had to regain his composure when she gave him a small smile. The two of them were in front of the counter in the nearby café, with him ordering his daily dose of tea while she told the barista her favored blend of coffee. Levi remembered shaking his head at the unnecessary love for coffee — tea will always remain superior in his opinion. He apparently murmured that out loud, with the most beautiful pair of eyes shifting to meet his caught his heart and took his breath away.

Who knew that being regulars of that café and by visiting the establishment at the same time could make their fates align as if they were woven together.

Today was one of the rare times he had free time from university and the best part is that today marks their first anniversary as a couple.

Levi had no idea what to do. Since he was an absolute goner in the feats of romance, he tried consulting his friends. It was something he mildly regretted. Erwin was the same as him, always focused on academics that he doesn’t have any time for relationships. The fucking giant suggested he should stay true as possible in his intentions, planning just a small date that can fit their little world together — not grandeur at all, to which Levi slightly took note of. Next, asking Hange was an absolute disaster. Knowing that you shared a major with this buffoon, they announced to the whole lab that Levi’s taking you on a date on your anniversary. It was a good thing they don’t know what he was planning.

So Levi decided on a small picnic date, with food and drinks from the café you two frequented.

Everything was packed safely and securely in a basket on the front seat of his car. To be honest, this was the first time he stood the longest in front of his closet. Planning what to wear was a total waste of time but he wasn’t complaining about his outfit for the day even though it was similar to the outfits he donned every day. He kept stretching his turtleneck in the anticipation of seeing you after your lab. While he waited in the parking lot closest to your department building, Levi was scrolling through his social media accounts.

It always warmed his heart every time he visited his feed on Instagram, every single post featuring you. Hange said it was simp behavior and Levi didn’t talk to them for an entire week. (Well, after having a reflection at one of your dates, staring at you like you were his salvation, he concluded that Hange was right.)

A message appeared on his screen, making his lips quirk up in the smallest yet endearing way possible.

i’m going out of the lab now, i’m so excited for our date

Levi looked up from his phone, seeing your bubbly smile lighting up the parking lot. Even though the windows are tinted, he reciprocated your wave. He unlocked the door of the passenger seat and suddenly, the fruity scent of your perfume enveloped him in a warm blanket of comfort. The next thing he knew, his shoulders relaxed in a droop, meeting your eyes as you lit up at the sight of the basket.

“Hi,” you greeted him, taking the basket and putting it on your lap as you made yourself comfortable on the front seat.

Levi turned to face you and leaned forward, hands pulling on the seatbelt and securing you beside him. He stopped with only a few inches separating your faces, his half-lidded silver gaze going back and forth between your lips and eyes. After a few seconds, uttered so softly against your lips, “Hi, beautiful.” The feeling of your lips moving against his always gave him a torpedo of butterflies, today’s occasion only spurring the insects to flutter their wings that it felt so electrifyingly good. With a little swipe of his tongue on your bottom lip, he hummed as he pulled away with red cheeks and a small smirk on his now shiny lips. “You put on blueberry.”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a small laugh, kissing him again quickly that he pouted.

“You know I can’t stop when you have that flavor of lip balm.”

You playfully narrowed your eyes. “I thought we have a date to go to.”

“Just one more?”

You grinned at how clingy Levi was becoming. It was rare for him to be like this and every time he acts like a touch-starved partner, it was too much for your weak heart. You held yourself back from pushing his cheeks together and marveling how adorable this side of him is. Leaning to fit your lips against his, you gave him what he wanted. “There. Now, let’s go on this date you’ve been planning.”

Levi chuckled as he straightened on his seat. He placed a hand on the back of your seat, looking behind him as he steered the car out of the parking lot and into the cityscape. The whole ride, his other hand was covering one of yours on top of the basket, his thumb rubbing soothingly across the back of your hand. You hummed along with the song playing on the radio, missing the adoring glances Levi gave you every once in a while. Fifteen minutes flew by so quickly and the car stopped in the small parking area of the local park. The two of you got out of the car, Levi pulling your hand in his, and leading you to a nice spot in the emerald plains.

With both ends held between you two, the picnic blanket was carefully draped on the grass, then making yourselves comfortable on the laid-out blanket. Levi took out everything nestling inside the basket — some wrapped sandwiches, a container of berries, shawarma wraps, and a small tin of oatmeal cookies. You were starving since you ate a salad from the university’s convenience store early in the morning for your lab meeting. As each container was revealed by Levi, you were anticipating the moment you will have your fill. Your stomach seemed to agree with your line of thought, interrupting the comfortable silence with a low gurgle. Levi looked up from tidying everything, eyebrow raised in slight amusement.

You felt your face become warm. “Oh, shut up. I haven’t eaten anything since nine in the morning. I’m bound to be hungry after not eating lunch.”

Levi clicked his tongue, pushing the sandwiches in front of you. “Who told you to skip lunch anyway?”

You leaned forward, fluttering your eyelashes with an innocent smile. “I have you to bring me my go-to order in the café anyway.” You bit down on a clubhouse sandwich. Everything became light when your palate was immediately satisfied. You couldn’t help but eat the sandwich as quickly as possible because being hungry enhances the taste of food.

“Hey, slow down,” Levi lightly scolded you. “You might choke.” The next second, you were coughing after gobbling the sandwich in a new record. Levi turned to the basket and took out a large cup of iced coffee, handing it to you to wash down whatever was lodged in your throat. “Here, drink it off.”

You would’ve cooed at the sight of your favorite blend of coffee if not for your life on the line with all your coughing. Slurping the cold liquid until you felt your cough subsiding, you let out a contented sigh as you slumped against Levi’s side. You smiled when you felt a pair of lips brushing on your head. You took a drink of your coffee before muttering, “What would I do without you?”

“Probably die of choking. I told you to slow down every time you’re hungry but it will always end with you having food down the wrong pipe.”

You laughed. “I still have you to remind me that.” You looked up at him, catching the adoring look Levi was giving you. You took it as a moment to admire him as well. His eyes will always remind you of the stars, their silvery glow so bright against any source of light. A lot has happened in the year you were together and you were starting to wish you could paint your love in the most vibrant hues. Leaning up, you pressed a kiss on the corner of Levi’s lips. “I’m so happy it’s you,” you murmured on his cheek, forehead pressed on his temple.

Levi stared at you with half-lidded eyes, hand lifting to brush a thumb on the apple of your cheek. Your name dripping from his lips made your heart flutter. His throat bobbed, his mouth opening and closing as if he wanted to say something. Just as you were about to ask him what was bothering him, Levi dipped his head until his lips stopped beside your ear. He always did this whenever he has to say something that was meant for your ears only. You patiently waited for him to muster his courage, rubbing the hand cradling your jaw. However, you breathed out a gasp when he finally said the words that you were never afraid to tell him.

“I love you. So fucking much.”

You could only stare at his embarrassed face, surprise taking away your voice. On normal days, you would’ve teased him for the blush creeping his face, reaching his ears that had you swooning. But now, the sight of his reddened cheeks and restless eyes made your face heat up. Your heartbeat was so loud in your ears, the effect of your lover’s confession spurring your senses in overdrive. You felt so many things at the moment, you felt proud of Levi for voicing out his feelings to you and you felt all the love dedicated to him gathering in your chest.

“I know it took me a whole year to say these words to you and I’m not that great with feelings unlike some people you know,” Levi rambled, silver irises flicking at anything but you. “B-But,” he cursed at his stutter, “I really do love you. I’m so fucking happy that it’s you, too. You are so patient with me and I’m starting to think that I don’t deserve you.” He said your name again in that fluttering way that made your heart clench. “Happy anniversary to us finding home in each other. I want this to last and I hope you won’t get tired of me.”

“I would never,” you reassured him, cupping his cheeks in your hands. “You took the words right out of my mouth, Levi. I love you, too. Everything in my life involving you is the best part of it.”

Levi planted his lips on yours, kissing you like it was the last time he could ever do so. “You’re making me weak and I don’t mind if you do it for the rest of my life.”

You suddenly perked up; eyes bright as you remembered the gift you tucked in your bag. “I got something for you.” You took out a small black box and handed it to a wide-eyed Levi. “I know it’s not much but it reminded me of you.”

A silver simple bracelet was placed on top of a small cushion, a thin plate connecting the two ends of the bracelet. Levi didn’t buy any gifts for you except for planning the date and it made him feel guilty. His eyebrows were furrowed as he stared at the piece of jewelry, his apology clear in his eyes. “I didn’t buy any gift for this day. Fuck.”

You chuckled, unclasping the bracelet and putting it on Levi’s wrist. Your fingers touched the bracelet gingerly, a wistful painted on your lips. “This date and you saying you love me for the first time couldn’t amount to what I just gave you.” You kissed him on the cheek. “You’re already the best gift I could ask for, a simple bracelet is nothing compared to you.”

Levi smiled breathtakingly before nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, eliciting a series of giggles from you.

“Okay, now let’s dig in. I’m still hungry, you know.”

“You’re always hungry, love.”

“Thank you for the coffee, by the way.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now eat some more.”

You look so peaceful sleeping with your head on his lap.

It was nearing sunset by the time you were getting drowsy. The food was already finished half an hour ago but that didn’t stop you two from continuing the picnic date by exchanging stories. You were in the middle of telling Levi your encounter with your juniors when you yawned. Levi suggested you try to get some rest after a busy week in your major, taking his advice with a hum as you laid down on the blanket. The cups and containers were all tidied up in the basket beside him and Levi thought that it will be getting late the more time you spend in the park.

He decided against waking you up so he put on your backpack, tucked the basket on the crook of his elbow, and slid his arm on your back and under your knees. He carried you carefully until he reached his car, slowly placing you in the front seat, and buckling your seatbelt. He kissed your forehead before putting the basket and bag in the backseat. The drive to your shared apartment was spent with Levi glancing at your sleeping form and the bracelet that reflected against the sunset.

Entering the apartment building after parking the car in the basement lot, carrying everything, including you, proved to be quite difficult until he reached the door to your apartment. Levi had to stick to the wall to prevent you from falling to the floor as he pressed the passcode to your and Levi’s living space. Leaving his shoes in the rack by the entrance, Levi padded to your room.

As he placed you on the covers, he realized he was staring too much with your bag on his back and the basket still tucked in his elbow. After taking off your backpack, he hastily returned to the kitchen to leave the basket on the counter. The events of the day suddenly entered his mind and a smile instantly pulled on the corners of his mouth. You were the best thing that happened in his life. You encouraged him to pick himself up after finding himself stuck in limbo. Your smile was one of the prettiest things he ever saw on the planet, which says something because Levi never described anything as pretty in all his life. (Except for his mom but that’s already a given since he would get a scolding whenever he visits home.) Sure, he was bummed that he didn’t give you anything for your anniversary but today will be one of the days he will look forward to celebrating.

That’s all that matters.

Going back to your room, Levi changed into his pajamas and slipped into bed with you.

Levi froze for a moment when you shifted your position, humming as you opened your eyes drowsily. You smiled at him but that didn’t stop Levi from feeling guilty about waking you up. He knew how much you needed sleep. He was a witness to your sleepless nights and caffeinated rushes so taking away the one thing you find solace in was shitty.

“Are we home?” you murmured in a voice painted with sleep.

“Shit, baby, I’m sorry for waking you up,” Levi fussed. “Yeah, we’re home but I didn’t wake you up because you’re sleeping so well. I’m really sorry.”

You only laughed, leaning up to kiss your lover. Levi poured everything in the kiss, opening his eyes slowly to the feeling of your body snuggling in his side. “I love you, Levi.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

He didn’t mean to wake you up so Levi laid on his back and pulled you closer until your head nuzzled his chest. His eyes never looked away from you, roaming and soaking in your peaceful features. You were easily the most beautiful person in Levi’s mind. How your eyelashes touched the top of your cheeks, how your eyebrows relaxed at the physical contact with him, how your lips quirked in a small smile at the feeling of him enveloping you. He could admire you all evening but his eyelids were already tugging downwards. Maybe it was the way your saccharine scent calmed his senses or maybe it could be the way you felt so right fitted to him like this.

It could be so many reasons but all Levi knew was that he had never felt so comfortable in his life, pulling him in a dreamless sleep filled solely with your warmth.

#levi #levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #aot x reader #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan imagines #levi attack on titan #snk imagines #snk #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #levi ackerman x you #rorywrites

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gremlin-writes-angst · 3 years

Text

Touch-starved

Levi Ackerman x GN!reader

This is pretty self-indulgent, Its a Levi x touch-starved reader. Modern AU. Hurt to comfort.

1.8k words

Trigger warning: None, there are no spoilers

Let me know if I missed a trigger or if you spot any spelling mistakes.

Feedback is encouraged

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Before you started dating Levi, everyone you knew, including himself warned you. They told you that a relationship with him wouldn't be normal, that it wouldn't fulfill your relationship needs. But you loved him and even though he wasn’t very affectionate you knew that he loved you too. Thought that wasn't clear right now. Currently, you were at the wedding of one of your friends, it was nice, too nice. It made you realize how much different your and Levi's relationships were. The biggest difference was how many other people in relationships touch each other. Before you met Levi you thought you could never be in a relationship without touching, but then you fell for him and learned that he was uncomfortable with touch. Which you respected, but sometimes you wished that you could have a reassuring handhold or a thank you kiss on the cheek, it didn't have to be PDA, just in private. Though you don't want to break your boyfriend’s boundaries. Your feelings only worsen every time someone starts hitting their glasses with silverware, trying to get the new couple to kiss, which they did, it made you jealous. Using this jealousy as the fuel you move your hand from the cup you were holding to Levi’s leg, reassuringly. Though it was quickly shoved off and hanging by the side of your body, you didn't have the motivation to move it. You repeat to yourself that he loves you, you try and remember the sweet moments in your relationship but none are coming up. You never ignited to yourself but you were touch starved, even before meeting Levi. You don't know how long you sat there, your body limp, your brain is overthinking. Half of your brain is trying to convince you that he does love you, while the other half was telling you that you deserved more from him. You were broken from your limp body and crazy thoughts from the clinking of glass and silverware and then cheering after the couple’s kiss. You watched as they kiss and hold on to another’s hand while sitting down, it hurt, you felt hatred inside you. You abruptly stood up and walked toward the doors, you couldn't leave, but you could at least get some fresh air. That was your plan anyway, but as soon as you got outside and out of sight of everyone, you broke down, it just so much. You had the boyfriend but you didn't have the kisses, hand-holding, cuddles that you thought were a part of a relationship. For god’s sake, your love language was physical touch you should have known that a relationship with Levi would fail.

"What's wrong brat?"

Levi turned the corner, and though his words were rude his voice was softer than normal. You breathed in trying to calm and hide your breakdown but Levi was pretty good at seeing through you. He ruffled your hair, that’s right he does give physical affection but pat or ruffling off your hair was the most, and he did that to everyone, it wasn’t the special relationship touches you wanted, you weren’t special. Your boyfriend slid down to the ground with you

“Why are you out here, sitting on the dirty ground?”

As much as you hated the absence of physical touch in your relationship, you couldn’t tell him that, he had his boundaries and you’re supposed to respect that, so you held off on telling him.

“I don’t know I just wanted some air.”

You lied, and he saw through it.

“Why did you want fresh air?”

You were really tiring to hold back your thoughts and opinions of his boundaries but it had been building up for the past six months, and so it all came spilling out.

“Because I feel unloved. I mean I know you love me but you never physically express it. I feel like your repulsed by the idea of me and my body, I can’t even hold your hand. You just shove me away, and I just feel disgusting a guilty for even trying because I know you have boundaries and that I was warned that this would happen but I thought that I could handle it, but I can’t. I’m touch starved and the one person I feel comfortable enough to help me, to cuddle me, to love me, doesn’t want to, or they cant. And it makes me feel so guilty for feeling that way, and that just adds to the terrible feeling inside. I don’t think I can deal with it anymore, I thought that my love for you would fill that hole, the one missing physical touch, but the love just made it worse because I love you too much to break your boundaries. And-and, I think it would be better for my heart if we stopped. If if we we stopped our relationship.”

You were so emotional that you were stuttering some words, the tears that you stopped when Levi showed up had come back even worse. Sometime during your speech you stood up, Levi stayed on the ground leaning against the building, and at the end of your declaration, you speed-walked into the building and the restroom. You whipped your tears as well as you could. Walking out of the restroom you headed to the bar, you didn’t know what you were gonna order, you just knew you were going to need it. You reached the bar and tried to stutter out an order but you couldn’t name a drink and the bartender moved onto someone else. Dissociated you walked back to your seat, and once again the sound that backend the couple to kiss was being made. You sat in your chair dissociating for a while, the only thing you processed was the sound of silverware tapping glass that happened every so often, and that the chair next to you was still empty. He probably took the offer to leave you and this relationship, and even though you encouraged it, you still weren’t ready for it. You rested your elbows on the table and then your head in your hands. You started to cry again for so many reasons, realizing that you lost the few head pats and hair ruffling he would give you, realizing that you would probably be more touch starved now. Suddenly there was a weight on your back, and arms wrapped around your neck loosely like a hug. You didn’t have the energy to shove off whoever was responsible so you tried your best with words, feeling more anger than sadness all of the sudden.

“Whoever is touching me, stop.”

The arms and weight stayed, and that small bit of anger changed back to sadness

“Just please, I can’t right now, please sto-”

Before you could finish your plea the person behind you spoke up

“It’s me”

Levi, his voice was softer than you ever heard, and you weren’t sure if you could believe it, both because of the voice and the hug he was giving you.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to lose you, can we talk outside?”

You nodded your head, then you felt him remove himself from you, you stood up and to your surprise, he grabbed your hand, you couldn’t tell if he was holding you in a possessive way, a caring way, or a loving way. What you did know was that it was tight and desperate. When you reached outside, your hand was still in his, his other hand was trapping you between him and the wall.

“I think you miss understand my boundaries, along with how much you matter to me.”

You still weren’t sure if he was just finalizing the break-up or trying to stop it from happening, you stayed silent to find out.

“I don’t like being touched, I don’t have a reason it just how I’ve been for a while, but I’m okay with touching others, it gives me control, the ability to stop if I’m uncomfortable without having to ask, if you want more physical contact I don’t mind giving you what you need, just let me be in control.”

It made some senses, but you wondered why he hadn’t been affectionate with you before if that was the case, so you question him

“Why haven’t you then, why haven’t you touched me, or held my hand.”

“ I wasn’t ready, and when I was I was, honestly scared.”

“Why?”

“As I said, I don’t know, I never really understand my emotions or where they come from. But I’m not scared now, I want to make you happy, I don’t want to be selfish anymore.”

You let out a breath that you were holding, finally allowing yourself to relax.

“ I don’t think you were selfish, and I’m sorry that I pushed you this far, and I don’t want to break up, I just wanted the pain to stop.”

Levi removed his hand from the wall and moved it behind your back pulling you into him.

“I am selfish but you need to stand up for yourself more, brat.”

It was relieving to hear him call you that, it was like his way of saying that he loved you, that he would stay with you. It was his way of saying that he would be with you even if it was hard and that all you needed.

A few weeks later and you can’t even remember what being touched starved felt like. You didn’t expect Levi to be so clingy, he’s almost always touching you. At night he’s your big spoon, when he’s working he makes you sit on his lap, in public he either holds your hand or wraps his arm around your back or shoulder. There have been multiple occasions where he’ll whine, or as close as he can get to whining, for you to sit on his lap while he works

“Come here.”

“Baby I’m just as busy as you.”

“And, I said to come here, we can share the desk if you need to, just come here.”

You walk into his office just bringing him a cup of tea, but he pulls you into his lap before you can leave or protest.

“Thank you for the tea.”

“Are you going to let me go?”

“Of course not, you should know that by now.”

“Your right, I love you”

“ I love you too brat”

Of course, there are moments when you feel the need for his comforting touch but he feels uncomfortable, so you two compromised. Whenever this happens, he’ll allow you to play with the buttons on his shirt cuff, or put your hand in his jacket pocket. He feels guilty that he cant always give you the support you want, but you make sure to ensure him that he’s been doing more than enough.

#aot #no spoilers #levi akerman #levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi angst #levi comfort #aot modern au

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levi-ish · 3 years

Text

Little Talks | 5

Pairing: Bartender!Levi X Reader

Genre: [+18] Slice of life, drama, romance, fluff, smut

Words: 3k

Warnings: Alcohol, cheating mentions, drugs, cussing

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Masterlist

“Your taste in tea is shit” Levi scanned through the old teabags you had lingering in your cabinets.

“Sorry if I don’t have enough money to buy those fancy blends you like” you rolled your eyes as you leaned further into the throw pillows you had on top of your old couch.

“Tch.”

You turned around and watched the man tumble around with your mugs and you knew that he hated your unmatching sets, always making small comments about them. He then set for the most common ones you had and brought them to you after quickly making your drinks.

It had been a few weeks since the night when Levi comforted you after your ex-beloved’s visit. You two held hands and pretended that it was nothing while watching random cooking shows, then after you fell asleep he left but not before making you another cup of tea that you woke up to find inside your microwave, sitting there waiting for you.

You thanked him in person two days after and exchanged numbers because he claimed that he didn’t ‘trust’ your building’s security. Even when you told him that Zeke only got up because your concierge knew him.

But now things were better than you could expect. Levi would drive you home almost every night and wait for your ‘ok’ text when you took the elevator, to be sure you were safe and sound. He mostly made you tea at 4AM when the bar was closing and you had no classes the day after, and you two hung around at your apartment quite a lot, watching shitty movies and listening to him complain about how you were doing your laundry all wrong.

Whoever saw you two together would think you were a couple of elderlies married.

“I can’t believe he didn’t like how she plated it” you pointed at the TV, quite angry at the cooking show passing on. “She even put those fancy herbs.”

“It’s shit”

“Everything is ‘shit’ to you” you rolled your eyes.

“Only the things that are shit” Levi replied as he sipped on his tea.

You rolled eyes once more as you felt the shift on the sofa, not noticing his movements if it weren’t for it. Levi held his phone to his eyes and a sheer of light illuminated his strong features, highlighting that glorious jawline and the thin lips you—

What?

Shaking your head, you quickly got rid of those thoughts, adjusting your own position and making your back fall more comfortably on the cushions. Levi let a small sigh and brought the teacup back to his mouth, drinking slowly.

“Hange again?” You asked, giving him the side of your eye as you stirred your own drink.

“Kirstein this time” Levi replied, letting out his signature ‘tch’. “I should’ve been there. Those idiots can’t do their jobs properly without supervision.”

“Hange forcing people to listen to their theories again?”

“No. Jean broke the sink and is trying to blame it on the weather somehow.”

“How…”

“No fucking idea.” Levi put his phone back inside his pocket and drank the last of his tea, sighing after. It was a heavenly vision to see, you weren’t gonna lie.

With a small yawn, you stretched your legs and downed the tea in one gulp, earning a side eye from the man who wasn’t pleased you were appreciating one of his fancy blends. The minty taste lingered on your tongue as you licked your lips, and you could smell the hint of cinnamon wandering in the room, mixing with Levi’s cologne that you so much adored.

“I’m bored” you let out, pouting as you rested your face on the pillow closer to his shoulder.

“You wouldn’t be if you stayed quiet and watched the show.”

“Do you hate me or what” you scoffed, pouting even more.

Levi turned to you, watching your expression and that’s when you noticed how close you were to him. His breath fanned over your face and you swore you could see his lips twitching and him inching closer, clearing your throat, you looked down, completely breaking eye contact.

“Do you really wanna know?” He replied and you pushed him. “At least clean your hands before touching me.”

“You wish I was touching you” you bit your lip and rose your brows teasingly.

He turned to your face once more, eyes dead serious focusing on you and he licked his lips slowly, posture completely changing.

“Maybe.”

He caught you off guard with that comment, making a small shiver go down your spine, but you decided that brushing it off would be better than acknowledging new reasons to make the relationship you two had more uncomfortable. You knew Levi wasn’t very pushy about things and probably would forget about it as soon as you would, without giving it another thought.

Oh well.

“Uh…” you tried to say, licking your lips again after your mouth went full dry “… are you hungry?”

“No” he said, eyes still on you as you tried to get his attention away from you.

“Uhm… then do you wanna do something else or…?”

Levi inched closer now, his nose brushing against yours and breath warming your chin as you rubbed skin together, feeling each other scents and every little movement was big enough to make both bodies swarm under the tension in the room.

“Levi… what…”

But before you could continue, he closed the distance, lips colliding as you felt the dry specs of his chapped skin brushing against yours. Is this really happening? What…? It was, and he was still going, hand now holding your nape to have your face closer to his than before, as if he never wanted to let go. You turned to the side to allow his tongue inside, feeling it dancing with yours in a difficult and shy but intense tango that seemed too familiar but strange at the same time.

It was a sensation you never wanted to end.

But as soon as it started, it stopped; his hand left your neck and went back to his side, and his usually unfazed look now seemed more panicked, as if he was already regretting it.

Please, god, don’t regret it. Please…

“I—”

You were abruptly cut off by him standing from the couch and grabbing his coat by the rack, quickly opening the door and leaving your apartment, leaving you by yourself and with empty lips but a full heart that felt too heavy for your shallow chest.

Things changed since that.

Levi completely disappeared. Hange and Jean would say that he would leave the key to them and only showed up in the mornings to rearrange things the way he liked them but left very quickly each time. He didn’t text and you didn’t try to, knowing it would be useless since we are talking about him, most emotionally unavailable person to exist. You still went to the bar every night, trying to catch him around and maybe clear things up, but failed miserably.

You didn’t regret it, not at all. In fact, you wished it would last longer, even though it was enough material for your mind to wander around the floor full of eggshells that were your memories from that night. You wanted more, you wanted him, and now you weren’t ashamed of admitting it to yourself.

And you were almost giving up seeing him again, if it weren’t for Sasha, who was livid over how he had reacted and insisted on dragging you back to the bar.

So there you were, Mikasa holding one of your arms and Sasha holding the other, both giving you pep talks on how you should go there and confront him. You knew he was working tonight for sure, that’s because Mikasa told you she’d texted him about it before and learned he was taking some weird shifts and closing on weirder times. Annie was busy with her two-year anniversary with Armin, so she couldn’t come, but she did text you to be brave. The way Annie would, I mean, sending a small “punch him” and a smiley face.

“C’mon (y/n), you look hot and he will regret leaving when you show up” Sasha’s grip on your arm tightened as she tried to drag you inside. “Tell her, Mikasa”

“You look hot” the other woman said, and you knew that she wasn’t putting much effort in because it made you uncomfortable, otherwise you’d have been inside already since Mikasa was stronger than you two combined. “Levi’s an idiot.”

“I don’t wanna go” you said, whining as they let go of you for a moment. “He did what he did and I was pretty much rejected. I don’t wanna push harder.”

“What’s even his problem?!” Sasha crossed her arms, her expression turning into a mad one. “Was he always an idiot, Mikasa?”

“He changed a lot since he was left at the altar.”

“What” you and Sasha said in unison, shocked by the new piece of information.

“Did I never mention it?”

“No?” You frowned, coming closer to her face. “What do you mean by ‘left at the altar’?”

“Exactly that.”

“Mikasa” Sasha pushed her lightly.

“I don’t know exactly, I was 15, but he was getting married to this girl and she left him the day of the wedding.” Mikasa said as if it was nothing. “Everyone was there to see, and he was devastated.”

That left you wondering… a lot. Why’d Levi never tell you about that? You two went into some deep discussions at times, talking about stuff that you never dared to share with others, and he did open up a little about some of his things, but this? You thought that would be something to tell someone you would think of kissing. Unless he wasn’t really thinking those things about you, then it would be a whole other topic that you were too much of a coward to consider.

Did anyone else know? You had so many questions and you really wish you had the answers because of the anxiety now growing in the pit of your stomach.

“You didn’t think that was important information to share?” You questioned and Mikasa shook her head.

“Not really.”

“Okay, we are getting in. You can deal with that later” Sasha pushed you through the door and now you couldn’t say anything else because your feet already touched the wooden floor.

It was a full house, everyone was dancing and singing along with the old jukebox and there were girls leaning on the counter flirting with Jean as your eyes wandered. Hange was mixing drinks and Levi was nowhere to see, what made you feel a lot more comfortable being there. Sasha and Mikasa pushed through the crowd and found you a place on the counter, sitting on stools and leaving you to sit in between them, so you did, and the blonde bartender was the first one to notice you there.

“Ah!” He chirped loudly, leaving the girls behind to come to you. “My favorite girl… and company, hi, hello.”

You noticed he was now flirting with Mikasa, but she just ignored his presence.

“Hot wings!” Sasha punched the counter and grabbed you by side shoulder, pointing at the shelves. “And shots, keep them coming, my friend here needs them.”

“I’m sure she does” Jean kept his gaze on Mikasa, trying to be subtle about it as you rolled your eyes at him. “Our short friend has been pretty hard to deal with lately, so without you around I already knew something went down.”

“They kissed” Mikasa let out.

“ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LEVI?” Screamed Hange from where they were, coming right away and pushing Jean with their hip. “Also, hi, but answer me!”

“They kissed” Mikasa repeated, and you gave up on trying to stop them.

Hange’s hand fell on your shoulder as they approached the group further, inserting the ponytail-head in the middle and readjusting the glasses above their nose, “You and shorty? Are you kidding me?! Tell me everything!”

“I’ll leave you to deal with Hange now” Jean said as they leaned a little more into Mikasa’s side. “So… are you in college?”

She only gave him a side glance and ignored his question, making the man confused.

“Focus!” Hange slammed their fist, now sitting on your side. “You have to tell me about it!”

“Oh gosh, please let me breath!” You rose your hands and they all moved their attention to you, making you feel a little overwhelmed and guilty — they were simply curious creatures. A deep sigh left your mouth as you put your palms back on the wooden surface of the table, opening your eyes slowly. “We kissed… and he left.”

“Without saying anything?” Jean asked and you nodded. “Damn… he ghosted you.”

“He might just be too busy?” Hange suggested and you gave them the harsh glare. “Maybe not?”

“Can anyone bring me—us some wings?” Sasha pleaded, leaning onto the table.

“You two need to talk” Hange added, bumping onto you jokingly. “Kiss and make up.”

“That’s not happening.”

“C’mon, he’s in the back. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

You just lowered your head and that was enough for them to understand.

“Well, I’ll leave you be” they just gave you a slight nod and stood from the booth. “Good luck.”

You felt some warmth crawl into your belly and smiled at them, following by another glance onto the other two in front of you.

“Mikasa is such an exotic name, where did it come from?” Jean leaned further, trying his best to sound smooth but the girl’s reaction was too bothered to be working.

“We’ll leave you be” Hange said as they grabbed Jean by the nape and dragged him back to the bar.

[…]

Sasha was on her third plate of hot wings when caught the first glance of Levi.

He came from the back for a moment to grab the electric kettle from under the counter, turning around quickly as if he already knew you were around and was avoiding any type of contact. Being treated like a disease like that made you feel angry, it wasn’t like you’d done anything wrong, you just kissed him back — he was the one to initiate it! The nerve of him.

You gulped down the rest of your beer and threw yourself back on the cushions of the booth, earning a look from Mikasa, but she decided to ignore it knowing you were procrastinating the inevitable, now focusing on Sasha who was unbuttoning her pants to eat more.

“Hey, you’re (y/n), right?” Someone approached your table, hands filling the pockets of their letterman jacket and blonde hair neatly sitting on top of his head. A thin goatee painted his chin and a gentle look sat around his clear eyes.

“Yea” you shook your head, looking at his face, frowning slightly. “Sorry, I—”

“It’s fine, we have Latin together” you now recognized him as the boy who sat in front of you and occasionally borrowed a pen.

“Oh! Reiner, right? You want some hot wings?” Sasha was not pleased you offered, but you just ignored her growl.

“No, I’m fine, just came to say ‘hi’” he gave you a small smile. “See you around.”

You reciprocated the smile and watched as he left, and your eyes collided with cold, grey ones across the room, behind the wooden counter as you felt your heart rush again, as if it was the first time once more. Levi had his muscular arms crossed as he stared right into your soul, making cold chills run all over your spine, holding your body to make it stop.

He turned around to leave and as if a lightning had just struck in you, your body involuntarily stood from its place and rushed to the counter, running around it and pushing the backdoor open, revealing an annoyed short man holding a cup of tea.

“What the f—”

And before he could even complete his thoughts, you grabbed the cup and placed it on the table right next to you, all that before pining him roughly against the wall, staring quickly into his eyes, searching for the same flame you could see inside you now burning around grey specs. A small smile grew on your lips and you kissed him hard.

He hesitated though, leaning back quickly as if something had snapped in his mind, making him realize what was really happening there. But before you could react again, he turned you around, pining your hands above your head as he kissed you feverously, the other hand feeling the skin of your hips from under your shirt, making the chills go harder around your bloodstream.

Levi moved positions once more, taking the back of your thighs and sitting you on top of the same table, making the teacup fall to the floor, but he seemed unbothered by it. His tongue now made advances on your mouth, playing with yours in soft movements even when his own lips made harsh movements, combining everything like sugar and cinnamon, and the pine scent of his cologne invaded your clothes that were now too hot for your needy skin.

His hands clenched around the fat of your legs, holding it as if his life depended on it and he started to lower his lips to your neck, giving it open-mouthed kisses that made a small moan fall from your throat. Ashamed, you didn’t realize that your grip on his shoulders was a little too hard and he put a hand from under your chin, holding your face as he stared deeply into your soul. A satisfied scoff fell from his own plump lips and he came back to what he was doing.

That was somewhat a dream, something you had fantasized about too many times to count, and now that it was happening, you refused to pinch yourself in fear of waking up alone. But when his slim fingers rose your skirt to your hips, things felt too real for it to be just your mind playing tricks. Small whimpers escaped your mouth as Levi decided to explore around your navel, playing softly with the hem of the lacy panties you were wearing, and you thanked whatever god was up there for not wearing those comfortable ones you almost wore tonight.

He removed your panties and lowered himself now, a small breath fanned over your naked parts, making you shiver slightly, only to be held still by his own hands. He gave you a small glance before you nodded in consent, and it was all it took for him to devour you in the most amazing ways you had never experienced before.

Levi had experience — you could tell — and the passion he exhaled was enough for you to moan without caring about anything in the world. His fingers joined his tongue and played with your entrance, teasing slowly as his mouth did wonders around your sensitive bud, movements going from harsh hands to slow kisses that left you whimpering, needing everything, anything more from him, legs hooping around his shoulders while trying to make him come closer to your heat.

You whimpered, moaned, cried under his spell, and everything felt 1000x more sensitive against his touch. His fingers entered you and played around all the right places, hitting every beat to the song that played muffled inside the bar, making a small giggle fall from you and he noticed it, now fastening his pace as if he wanted to go back to shutting you up with his own mouth.

Repeatedly he hit your most sensitive spot, licking, and tasting all he could as he did his best to make you cum. It didn’t take long for you to feel the heat pooling around your stomach, throwing your head backwards and fisting his hair between your fingers as you felt his rush against your orgasm, taking everything from you simply with his mouth. You moaned loudly as you rode his face quickly, hips moving without your consent and he pulled your lips apart to clean the remnants of your pleasure, not leaving one spot untouched.

Your chest heaved from the rush as your eyes made contact with grey seas that now leveled with your height, watching you under spells of lust while he sucked slowly from his fingers, tasting every last bit of you, like you were mead for his tastebuds, and you could swear you saw his lips curl a little upwards.

“You surely know how to make a mess” he noted, a ‘tch’ leaving his mouth.

TAGLIST

@zeickv @thirstyforsometea @nalu-trashytrash @umheyasf

#levi #levi smut #levi ackerman #aot #levi x reader #zeke jaeger #jean kirstein

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

Text

🕯Anon said : Can I request headcanons with a Modern Au Teacher!Erwin and his s/o is a slightly famous artist like a painter that’s always in the basement. Maybe have a moment where the art teacher begs him to bring them to the school when they find out who Erwin is with. ? 🕯

Teacher!Erwin brings you, a famous painter, to work.

{ Erwin x Reader | tw:none | fluff, suggestive kiss | modern }

{ "Leisurely Sunday in the Villa Comunale in Naples" 1993 by Francesco Tammaro Born in 1939 }

Grassy fields surrounded the old big building as the trees undressing of their leaves onto the sidewalks, currently being swept away by the janitor.

Students were filling the halls, the sound of chatter and laughter following after. Outside in the yard, the whistle of the gym teacher could be heard following by heavy footsteps as the football team started their morning practice. Not long after the bell rang, the halls were empty again only for some crumbled papers and snack covers left behind.

"Pigs, all of them. There's a trashcan right there." Levi scrunched his nose at the smell of axe spray and deodorant near the trophy cases. "Tell Miche to spray his running monkeys with soap every once in a while."

"Now now, what got you so grumpy this early in the morning?" Adjusting the lab coat on their suit, Hange replied. "Oh cut the kids some slack, their big game is coming soon or something."

"And he's been implenting a more strick hygiene policy." Said Erwin, holding a plastic binder with a stack of exam papers, mostly marked red. "He's trying to convince the principal to ban deodorant during practice because it's making his nose burn."

Huffing in response, Levi crossed his arms. "Yeah because the principle will definitely listen to him after that whole sniffing people scandal- Hey! Brats, don't you have classes"

As Levi went to scold the two students currently hanging a handmade poster for the upcoming game on the wall, a couple of students came up to Hange, looking in a hurry as they explained the Science lab was locked and they're getting tired of sitting on their backpacks outside.

Soon after, Erwin too made his way to class.

Upon entering the room, the talking quieted down as the squeaking sound of people going back to their own desks followed. Walking upfront, Erwin dropped the binder on his desk beside the empty mug, a couple of groans filled the room as the students realised what it was.

"Mr.Smith, didn't we just take the test yesterday? Shouldn't you like...I don't know double check or something? Maybe you rushed grading them?" One student called from the back as some chuckles and agreement followed from the rest.

Taking the stacks of papers out, Erwin made his way between the students, giving each on their graded paper. "I don't know Connie, maybe you should've double checked your answers instead?"

The playful atmosphere of the classroom was cut short as the door slammed open, making everyone freeze in their seats, none other than the art teacher walked in.

Nile Dawk, current art teacher who fails at least a quarter of his class each year. Who has oh just the most swell relationship with Erwin and anyone can tell you that.

You see, Erwin adored art, both the classic and the modern. Nile admired history and knew just how each art era had its link to a historical event.

And the pair couldn't stand each other.

Crossing his arms, Nile said "Erwin, you have explaining to do." Before dropping a newly printed magazine onto his desk,

Its cover, showing a brand new art museum that just finished construction and is hosting a lot of different paintings from unrecognised underground talents.

"Nile, I think you misunderstand. I teach history, I'm not an architect." He said raising an eyebrow, before tilting his head as if he's deep in thought, "or do you want me to explain what a museum is?"

Sneering at his remark, Nile flipped through the pages till he reached a certain one. It depicted a one of the paintings that will be displayed in the museum, a portrait of a blond man with broad shoulders and sharp blue eyes seemingly distracted from reality by the book in his hand.

The soft glow of the fireplace next to the red armchair he sat in, adding a certain orange hue to his light complexion. His long fingers holding the leather book as a glass-stained maroon vase sat on the small table behind him, containing a single red rose.

It's clear from the details poured into his eyes and the shading for each strand of his hair that whoever made this painting, held a great affection for the man.

"Now Mr.history teacher, care to explain why your face is on this painting? By one of the few promising artists of this useless generation?."

Hushed murmurs filled the classroom as students took out their phones googling the name y/n, showing each other the said painting while staring with wide eyes at Erwin.

Rubbing his temple with his fingers, Erwin frowned at the scene the other was causing. Knowing very well it won't take long for this fire to spread, he decided to add more fuel to the flames.

He took a long breath, before telling the class to quiet down with a stern expression.

"Mr.Dawk, are you really asking me why y/n, my love, the person I'm married to, paint me?" He said facing the other, looking directly into his eyes. "Maybe you should ask y/n instead if you're so insisting on forcing yourself in my private life."

Narrowing his eyes, Nile snorted. "You know what Erwin? Maybe I should.

And that's the story Erwin told you while having dinner that day.

He looks at you with pleading eyes as if to silently apologise for dragging you into this mess, his plate still half full and drink untouched.

Please reassure him that it's alright, you don't mind taking a day off to visit his work

He'll reach out to gently squeeze your hand in his, whispering a small thank you as his thumb rubs against your skin.

He also says he'll do the dishes that day, you can go rest and he will join you in bed after a while, a relieved smile on his face.

The next day, as he wakes up early like usual. He makes sure to wake you up with a kiss, stroking your face before murmuring "good morning" against your lips.

He knows because of your work you don't wake up early, so he's really patient and understanding if you happen to get grumpy for a while.

Handing you a warm drink to help wake you up, he'll make sure you eat something before changing and heading out.

You're not surprised to find him already done and dressed himself.

Hair as perfect as usual.

On the drive to school, you'll feel the cool morning air against your skin while your head leans back into the seat, eyes fluttering shut.

You can have your mini nap, Erwin will make sure to wake you up when you arrive.

When arriving, he made sure to open the car door for you. The fresh air and green scenery surrounded you both.

When arriving at the teacher's lounge, you're almost surprised to see two people already there from how early it was.

The first was sitting on the old black couch near the window, his dirty blond bangs covering his eyes. The second you could see making tea on the other side of the room Where the kitchenware was.

Both of them glanced up when Erwin called their name, staring at the way he had an arm wrapped around your waist while introducing you.

It was Miche who came first, standing from the couch you noticed just how tall he was. Offering your hand for him to shake, only for him to pull you into a tight hug instead.

He pulled away, tapping his nose before a smile slowly formed on his face, nodding in approval

The second was Levi, who ignored your offered hand only to sip on his teacup, assessing you up and down.

Not too long after, a person with a messy ponytail and a colorful lab coat arrived.

They took one glance at you, then the matching wedding rings on yours and Erwins fingers before taking an immediate interest in you.

Hange asked questions faster than you can answer them, with sparkling eyes and a wide smile.

At the first sign of you being uncomfortable, it was Levi who stepped in to tell Hange to tone it down before apologizing to you.

And it was Miche who got you some snacks from the teacher's secret stash after.

You've heard stories and one sided phone calls about them from Erwin, yet it still didn't prepare you for actually meeting them.

While overwhelming at first, the more time you spent talking as Erwin reassuringly sat beside you, you noticed how genuinely interested they were.

Levi, while seemingly cold, was actually the most considerate and paid the most attention to you. He'd step in whenever things got too much and would be really polite despite having a colourful language. By the end of it he even made you some tea, something that seemed to surprise Erwin and the rest.

"It's just...he never trusted someone this quickly before."

Hange was genuinely interested in you, having researched you and your art beforehand. They really were eager to hear even the most boring details and were capable of understanding your way of thinking. They even gave you a small rubber frog they carried around in their pocket to hand out. It would've been cute wasn't for the fact immediately after they mentioned the real human skeleton they have pinned to the lab door.

"His name is bean! I've been actually investing into getting him a human heart for Valentine's day, but all the ones I've found so far were in jars."

The most quiet of them was actually Miche, although he'd smile at you whenever you looked his way. Despite his intimidating size you learned how harmless and easy going he is, the most chill out of the three. He did mention knowing Erwin for the longest time out of them, having been childhood friends even. He promised to tell you all the embarrassing secrets Erwin tried to erase from existence as he added his number on your phone.

"He ain't as proper as he looks, I got the dirt on him."

You saw Erwin's jaw tightening before he changed the subject quickly, giving the side eye to Miche who only smiled back.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, Erwin didn't leave your side for one minute and made sure to check on you constantly.

He introduced you to the rest of the teachers and seemed only amused at any teasing he got from students passing by.

By the end of the day, as the sun began to set and the students already done with their clubs, you and Erwin had one final place to go.

The art classroom.

"Just one more thing before that" he told you, guiding you into an empty classroom.

You saw his desk, the mug you gifted him on father's day as a joke sat on his desk, several paper sketches you made were framed next to it.

It was his classroom, with only you and him, the door open.

He closed it.

You stood against his desk as he moved closer, arms circling you, not breaking eye contact.

"May I?" He whispered, licking his own lips.

As he got your permission, he pressed his lips against yours, arm stroking your back before pulling away after some seconds.

He rubbed your swollen bottom lip with his thumb, a small smile on his face before pulling away.

Your heart was still fluttering against your chest as you left the classroom, while Erwin seemed to be smiling at nothing with a slight curl to his lips, steps more lighter than before.

Right after that he took you to the art classroom. The smell of oil paint and sound of brushes scratching against paper filling the air.

Stepping inside, the scratching sound stopped as a certain black haired man stared at you, eyes wide and lips parted.

Disbelief clear in his face, Nile was quick to mask his emotions as he noticed the smugness Erwin was in.

"Nile, I'd like to introduce you to my lovely darling, y/n." There was a chipper to Erwin's voice as he leaned in to kiss your cheek.

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levi-lover · 3 years

Text

New Light Part: 1

College Levi x Reader(Modern AU)

W/C: 2.5

T/W: Pretentious Hipster Levi lol

A/N: Levi is a moody English major who spends his free time reading at the local cafe and yes, I think that is sexy as hell. This is a slowburn piece kinda inspired by the Hulu show Normal People! I love that show but I could never watch it again bc it breaks my heart too much lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! (Part Two will be up soon! & this picture is from Pinterest)

I’ve put all the parts in one list here: New Light Masterlist

“I just don’t get it.” You huffed and leaned back into your chair.

“Don’t worry, this stuff takes time to learn!” Hange looked at you earnestly.

The two of you had been studying at Maria’s Coffee for a few hours. Your genetics midterm was in a few days and you were completely lost. You met Hange on your first week, you anxiously walked into the lecture hall thinking this would be an easy pass to fulfill your science credit. Oh boy, were you wrong. Immediately, you were thrown into the depths of mitosis and chromosomes. The only good thing that came out of it was your new friendship with Hange. On your first day, Hange complimented your sweater and asked if they could sit with you. Hange was a genetics major so this class was easy, hell, it was fun for them. They offered to tutor you so you bought them coffee during your study sessions in return.

“Yeah, you’re right but still,” You said in between sips of your coffee. “How do you like this stuff?”

“Oh, it’s fascinating to me, it’s crazy how we’re made up of tiny cells and in those cells is our human history but we can’t even see it. It’s like the world’s smallest yet most important puzzle.” Hange’s eyes lit up as they continued speaking.

You listened and continued to drink your coffee. It was late but the cafe was still busy with college students hurrying to type their papers and study for tests. The lamps left soft yellow shadows on the cream colored walls. The cafe was homey and it felt like it was a cottage pulled straight out of a forest. From the back of the cafe, you could see the entrance. It was raining and people ran across the sidewalk with their jackets over their heads. You laughed through your nose.

“Hey! Are you listening?” Hange questioned.

“What? Of course, I am. Science is the answer to everything, right?” You quipped.

Hange rolled their eyes and went back to their textbook. You kept your eyes on the front door. It had been a few days since you had seen your coffee shop friend. The word friend was a loose term for your relationship with the dark-haired boy. Your relationship started one day when you were sitting in the spot you are now, it was late, close to 1 am and after downing two cups of coffee you needed to pee. Across from you was a small man holding a used copy of Slaughterhouse Five, he was dressed in all black and was munching on a muffin. You asked him to watch your stuff, he nodded and pushed his hair away from his gray eyes. From that point on, you developed a friendship founded on your mutual respect for privacy yet concern over each other’s well-being. It became an unspoken rule that this was the only place you would meet. Your attention returned to your work, if he wasn’t going to show up then whatever, he was just another stranger.

“Hange, I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

“What?! Why?! We haven’t even gotten to the good part, wait until you hear about what happens to the amino acids during replication.” The same familiar look of excitement washed over Hange’s face.

“Look as exciting as it all sounds, I’m gonna have to pass.” You began to gather your things when the front door opened. You looked up and saw the dark-haired boy. He looked as pretty as always with a beige tote bag draped across his shoulder, droplets of rain hung onto his dark strands. Next to him stood a tall, handsome blonde man who was looking around the cafe. His eyes stopped when he reached your table and he lifted a hand and waved at you. You looked at him confused.

“LEVIIII!! ERWIIIN!!” Hange yelled and waved their arms. People looked up at them with annoyance.

“Wait, you know them?” You asked.

“Who, those idiots? Yeah. I forgot to tell you I invited them to study with us. Levi promised to help me write a paper,” Hange said nonchalantly. “Shit! I should have asked you if that’s okay. Is it?”

You looked down and felt your face redden, “no worries, it’s not a problem.”

“I’ll introduce you to them, they’re buttheads but they don’t bite.”

You sat back down and looked at your notebook as the dark-haired boy and the tall blonde walked towards you. A bundle of nerves planted themselves in your stomach but you couldn’t understand why. You’ve known this man for a couple of months now, slowly building a friendship at your own pace. It was nice to have control over something in your life for once but life always has a different plan for you; it was time to properly meet the dark-haired boy. All rules are eventually broken.

You ruffled the papers in front of you and took another sip of your drink but it was empty. Shit, you thought. The two men were standing in front of you and Hange at this point. The dark-haired boy looked at you, his brows furrowed.

“Hey, you’re House Coffee,” he said in a monotonous tone.

The blonde man and Hange looked at him confused, “wait, you know her?” Hange asked.

You shook your head, “nope.”

The dark-haired boy looked at you confused.

“Well, kinda, actually,” You muttered.

“Huh, that’s cool!” Hange announced. “Levi’s a little bitch but you probably already knew that.”

“Shut up, Four Eyes,” Levi retorted.

The blonde man laughed, “my name is Erwin. I’m a Political Science and History double major.” He gave you a dashing smile and lifted his hand.

Levi rolled his eyes, “humble much?”

Erwin gave him a glare before returning his clear blue eyes to you. You chuckled and raised your hand to his. It was a firm handshake.

“My name is (Y/N), it’s very nice to meet you, Erwin. And it’s Levi, right?” Your head turned to the dark-haired boy and he blushed slightly. Hange and Erwin exchanged a look.

Hange raised their hands slightly and asked, “I’m confused.”

“When aren’t you.” Levi remarked.

“Oh, shut it you. I thought you two already knew each other.”

You placed your hands around the empty mug, hoping it would stabilize your nerves. “Know might be a strong word, I guess we’ve seen each other here before?“ You shrugged and looked at Levi.

He nodded, “I agree, we sometimes look after each other’s stuff and talk about books.”

“Good to know. I’m glad Levi has someone else to talk to,” Erwin declared.

They pulled out two chairs and placed them around the table. Erwin pulled out his laptop and his binders, everything was color-coordinated down to the tabs and pens. Levi pulled out a yellow notepad and a beat up copy of On the Road and single black pen. He tried his best to act natural but was unsure how to act around you and his friends. He wasn’t prepared for his two worlds to crash, it wasn’t that he was ashamed to know you. He enjoyed your company but it was something that was special to him. He didn’t want to share those precious late night hours with anyone else but you.

“I’m going to go buy a tea, (Y/N) do you want anything?” Erwin said pointing at your empty cup.

“Uh no-” You were about to say before Levi interrupted you.

“12 oz house coffee, splash of soy,” He stated.

Hange raised their eyebrows, in all their years of friendship he had never bothered to learn their coffee order. Erwin was equally as surprised. You stared at Levi, unsure what to say.

“Alright, you got it,” Erwin said before grabbing your empty mug.

Levi and Erwin got up and walked to the front counter. Hange grabbed your arm and you looked at them surprised.

“How long have you known Levi?” They whispered.

“Uh, like I said, ‘know’ is a strong word but a couple of months. We just sit near each other and sometimes talk. It’s not a big deal.”

“I can’t believe Levi didn’t tell me he knew you,” Hange said in disbelief.

“Did you tell him about me?” You retorted

“No but still. If I knew my two friends knew each other, I would have set this study party together a long ass time ago.”

You shrugged and went back to looking at your notes. By this time, Levi and Erwin were walking back to the table. Erwin was holding a mug of tea and your coffee, Levi was holding a mug of tea in one hand and an apple muffin in another. Erwin handed you your coffee and you thanked him. He sat in front of you and Levi opposite of him. Erwin cleared his throat and asked, “how do you guys know each other?”

“We met in genetics class,” You responded.

“You’re a science major, too?”Erwin asked.

“No, I’m a humanities major but I still need my science requirement so I’m taking this class and majorly regretting it.”

“Hey, it’s not all bad. We’re friends now,” Hange nugged their elbow at you, you gave them a smile and nodded.

“What a reward,” Levi muttered.

You held back a laugh which made Levi smile, he hid it behind his book.

“How do the three of you know each other?” You pointed to the trio.

Hange shot up from their text book and exclaimed,“oh, (Y/N) you’re going to love this so it all started four years ago…”

It was their freshman year, Levi’s uncle had just dropped him off at the dorms and left him alone to unpack. Levi didn’t have much except for a suitcase of clothes, a bed sheet set and a small box of books. He started to put his clothes away in the drawers when the door opened and a lean, tall blonde boy and his father walked in, pulling a cart of the boy’s belongings.

“Hi, you must be my roommate. My name is Erwin,” he stood at the doorway awkwardly waving at Levi.

“Levi.”

“Hello, I’m Erwin’s dad, nice to meet you.”

Levi gave him a small smile and continued to organize his side of the room, it took about fifteen minutes in total. After Erwin’s dad left, Levi and Erwin sat on their respectives beds in silence. It took them awhile but eventually they bonded over their mutual love of Russian poetry. Over the next few weeks, they built a symbiotic relationship filled with chore charts and late night study hangs. Levi genuinely enjoyed Erwin’s presence, he was his first friend outside of his hometown. Erwin felt the same way too. He never had a huge opportunity to meet people since he was homeschooled until his final two years of high school. They had found a companion in each other.

The week before Thanksgiving break, Erwin convinced Levi to host a small gathering in their dorm. Levi hesitantly agreed and Erwin managed to get his hands on a weed brownie. They invited a few of their floormates and shared the goods and drank a single Mike’s Hard Lemonade that Hange brought. They sat on the concrete floor and waited for the weed to hit after thirty minutes, no one was high. One of their floormates, Zeke, took a whiff of the brownie and laughed.

“Erwin, this is a fucking regular brownie,” he glanced at Erwin who was tenderly sipping out of the bottle. Zeke’s roommate, Porco laughed.

“No, it can’t be,” Erwin responded. Hange looked around nervously and Levi glared at Zeke.

“Ha, whatever. This kickback is lame anyways. Let’s go,” Zeke and the others left.

Hange, Erwin, and Levi stayed in silence for a few minutes until Hange spoke, “I thought it was a good brownie.”

Erwin gave them a half-hearted smile and looked down at the bottle. Levi sighed and walked to his closet.

“Now that those fucktards are gone, let’s have a real party,” Levi said as he pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

Erwin looked at Levi, shocked. “How long have you had that?”

“My uncle gave it to me when he dropped me off. As a going away present.” Levi shrugged it off.

The rest of the night was spent taking shots of whiskey and playing cards games, it was the first night of many.

“Wait, really? Erwin you bought a dud brownie.” You held your side as you laughed.

Erwin looked sheepishly at his drink. Levi had a smirk on his face.

“Yeah! Looking back at it now, it’s the funniest thing ever. But those other guys were jerks. I don’t remember their names now or anything but I hope they’re living horrible lives,” Hange proclaimed.

“I believe it and I hope so too.” You wiped a tear from your face and felt Levi’s gaze on you.

Levi had never seen you laugh that hard, he liked this side of you. He went back to notating his book but he couldn’t deny the feeling of warmth in his chest. The four of you remained in comfortable silence for a while. The coffee shop began to slow down as the clock ticked further into the night.

“This has been a lot of fun but I think I’m going to call it,” Erwin’s deep voice broke the silence of the table.

The three of you nodded in agreement and began to pack your bags. You watched Levi’s slender fingers gently put his belongings into his tote bag. His dark hair was getting long, it brushed against his cheek as he moved his body. You looked away quickly, you knew nothing could happen between the two of you but watching him interact with his friends casted a new light on him. Levi, what a name, you thought. For the past couple months, he was your secret friend, someone you could talk to without feeling judged because he was so removed from your everyday life but now, it was different. You both shared a mutual connection and of course, you shared the countless hours spent in this cafe.

The four of you made casual conversation as you exited the cafe. The cold air whipped your face and you tugged your scarf tighter around your neck.

“Hey, do you need a ride? I’m parked a block away,” Erwin asked you.

“Don’t worry, hot stuff. I’ll walk her home.” Hange winked at Erwin, Levi rolled his eyes.

“I live a few blocks away but thank you. It was really nice to meet you Erwin and Levi it’s nice to finally know your name.”

Levi looked down at the ground and a pink glow appeared on his face, “yeah, this was nice.”

You watched them turn around and walk in the opposite direction for a moment before turning to Hange. The air was cool and the clouds had parted, leaving open an endless sky peaking through the buildings and the trees. It had become a ritual for the two of you to walk home after study sessions since you lived a few blocks away from each other. Hange made casual conversation on your walk home but you hardly paid attention. You kept on thinking about Levi and wishing you never learned his name.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi art #aot #levi ackerman x reader fluff #modern levi ackerman #levi aot #aot fic #levi ackerman fic #levi lover fic #attack on titan fic #snk fic #college levi ackerman #new light

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rulerofstars · 3 years

Text

us, a paradigm

What happens when two anxious hearts collide?

Pairing: Levi x fem!reader

Genre: College of Engineering!AU, angst, fluff, smutty themes.

Warnings: Swearing.

Word count: 4.5k words.

Angel: I just reached 100 followers! Words can never explain how glad I am to write for you, I’m thankful that I am somehow able to make you guys happy by doing what I love. Enjoy this one.

Commitment issues are so rampant, and you were never really surprised when it dawned to you how much of a coward you are when it comes to responsibilities and devotions. It is scary. People are scary. One moment you are in love then suddenly, you are not. Doubts and questions have always filled your heart whenever you consider taking another step, what if I misunderstood my feelings for something else?

Trust is a huge word. And being someone who overthinks a lot has compromised your standards to believe, and it sucks.

Hanji on your side continued rambling about how much of a bitch the professor was earlier, based on your observation, they had been late and caused a distraction upon entering the classroom, interrupting the discussion. You sighed as you carried the tray filled with your not so favorite foods towards a vacant spot inside the busy cafeteria.

Your eyes wandered for a moment, sighting various chaotic scenarios around you. Every single person had their own shit to do, there are couples gobbling up each other’s faces, decent Science people who study while eating, gossips who had nothing better to do but to stick their noses up a random person’s business, jocks who are so noisy, oh, and the Computer engineering majors who had just entered the cafeteria. Their presence is indeed, intimidating, especially the seniors.

“What are you doing here? Your building’s literally light years away.” Hanji interrogates as Erwin sat on the vacant spot next to them, and Mike to your left, making you scoop to your right to give him more room since he is. . . a giant.

Erwin took his iPad with its green silly case out, and the pen with the matching silly case, of course. These men, you chuckled.

“Levi wanted some tea and we don’t have tea in our cafeteria.” Mike shrugged, playing with plants versus zombies part 2 on his phone. Levi is here, then? You thought, your heart pumping a little bit faster when you heard his name, anticipation run through your veins.

A white mug has been placed in front of you, the steam radiating from the drink smelled like your favorite warm drink.

“Speaking of the fucking devil.”

Levi scoffed, sitting next to Hanji and in front of you, leaning against the backrest as he took a sip from his own insulated tumbler, two strings with tags hanging from it. He gave you an eyebrow flash, acknowledging your presence and saying “hey” without actually talking.

You looked down on your mug and avoided his meaningful glances, the warmth of your drink aided your icy-ass hands, as Levi would have called it.

No one knows what is going on between you and the man, by no one, that includes you and him. The both of you are stuck in the anomaly of being afraid to get serious, yet not wanting to let go of each other’s hand. You wanted to laugh at the irony. Years spent of mastering algorithms and theories, yet you cannot even figure out the real score behind the actions and emotions that are involved whenever you meet. Two clever individuals who are unbelievably dumb when it comes to commitments and relationships.

“What are we?”

It was a cold evening eight weeks ago, the fairy lights surrounding you provided warm lusters that helped you distinguish Levi’s emotion. But the man had none on his face, and so did you. You are both puzzles waiting to be solved, but not ready for significant changes.

“We’re happy.”

You fuck, you have felt him in so many ways, in different positions, in different places. But the intimacy did not just stop on how you beg for his touch and how he does for you. You are fuck buddies who had pillow talks at 3:00 am, talking about your plans and what kind of goals you have. He told you about his dreams, complained to you about his day, the both of you laughed about how Erwin gave into the blandishments of a salesperson and actually bought silly-looking cases. While you helped him test his projects and cook whenever he had a bad day, joy runs through your blood when you got his tea right, when he lets you take his hoodies home, and lends you his favorite pen.

And perhaps you are fuck buddies, with something more. Neither you nor him, had wanted to clear the score in between, and you chose to dwell within the intimacy and warmth of his being. No labels, no relationships, just two people who enjoyed the company of one another.

“(Y/N), let’s go we’re almost late.” Hanji says, grabbing their bag and standing up, almost hitting Erwin with their steel keychains.

You sighed, grabbing your bag and nodding at the boys, flashing your eyebrows at Levi, too.

_____

The holiday season could be felt inside the campus. Various Christmas decorations appeared everywhere, peppermint mocha now available in the cafeteria, green and red garlands outlined every doorway. Santa Claus just vomited in your university, and you are not hating it, yesterday, you even heard someone playing Christmas songs. It’s the season for ugly sweaters with reindeers in it, and you can’t wait to give one for each of your friends, including your juniors. You wanted to laugh at the thought.

Levi’s warm hands found their way under your- well, his hoodie as he fondled with your breasts while you sat in front of your laptop, leaning against him, and him leaning against the headboard of your bed.

“I’m busy,” You lightly scolded him, trying to shoo his hands away, but he groped your left breast a bit tighter and played with your right nipple.

“Levi!” You called out, playfully glaring at him. This man is insatiable, you thought.

He let out a hearty chuckle and placed his head on your nape. This kind of moments are those you consider unusual, if Levi is clingy then it is unusual.

Warm kisses are placed at the back of your neck and it did send chills all the way to your bones. You love the way he kisses you like some kind of candy, obsessed with how you taste, demanding for more of you.

“Stop moving,” He groaned, burying his face on your hair, inhaling your scent, “This weather is making me horny.”

Your fingers had stop typing for a while, trying to register what he had just said, “You are always horny.” A giggle escaped from your throat, ignoring his thirst for attention. This essay is more important than your needs, and it is due in an hour. Maybe after that, you can satisfy this man’s ache for pleasure.

Levi scoffed, getting out of your warm bed with only his grey sweatpants. Your eyed darted to his lean body and admired him for a bit before going back to your task.

He has been here since last night, he had a few drinks with Erwin and Mike at the newly opened bar, and apparently, he is too tired to drive back to his apartment. You shook your head at the thought, he’s five minutes away. Hanji told you about the Christmas event next week, and it was eventually announced to you by the dean.

“Your fridge is so gloomy,” Levi states, you did not look up to him as you continued typing for your report for a minor subject. You sighed, Chemical Engineering is fun with all the laboratories and stuff, but the reports and calculations? No.

“Yeah, I haven’t gone to the grocery since last week so. . .” You trailed. Besides, you were too busy to cook for yourself, so you either had to call for food deliveries, buy your food at school, or go to Levi’s place for food. He is a decent cook, and you really do not have to worry about the cleanliness of the food.

The man sat beside you and looked at your screen, eyeing your word count. You are near your goal and you would definitely let the software check for your own work after this. He planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Let’s go to the store then.” He grumbled, he was eager for your food last night, had he not slept immediately after lying on your bed.

You stared at him, the corner of your lips curving upwards to form a smile. He rarely initiates grocery dates, he had been with you thrice, but he grows impatient whenever you are having a hard time choosing from two different brands, plus there are chances that one of your friends could see you hanging around.

“Okay. . .” You hummed earning a little yet captivating smirk from him. Levi never fails to make your heart flutter whenever he shows you his rare smile, “After this.”

His breath tickled your ear when he placed his chin on top of your shoulder, itching for you to finish your goddamn report.

“One round before going?”

“Oh, shut up.”

_____

The store is not that crowded when you came, the pushcart’s handle is imprinted with Christmas-inspired designs, and everyone’s wearing their warm, cozy sweaters, and you happen to be wearing one of Levi’s university hoodies, too.

“You don’t need that much butter.” He mutters upon seeing you stock up on one of your favorite canned butters, you made face.

“You’re not sure.”

As you walk along the aisles, the sight of sale and canned cookies immediately distracted you, leaving Levi and the cart to him. It ain’t Christmas without a can of butter cookies, you smiled at the cute design embossed on the can.

“Oh, (Y/N)!”

Hanji’s voice caused you to freeze on the spot. Where’s Levi? Had they seen you with him?

“Hey,” You smiled, turning around and thanking God that Levi wasn’t there, he probably went to another section the moment he had seen your friend, “You alone?” You asked, holding three cans of biscuit on your hand.

“Yeah, yeah I’m- wait, is that a hoodie from the. . .” They gasped, slapping your arm causing you to wince in pain. That fucking stings.

You swear to God Hanji’s laugh is so loud everyone could hear.

“(Y/N), you slut!” They cackle, people are weirdly staring at the both of you. Shyness crept in your system. “Who is it? Does Erwin, Mike or Levi know this guy?”

In the corner of your eyes, you saw Levi looking at you from the far corner of the grocery, the cart already filled with the supplies that you need, lacking what you really want, he signaled you to check your phone and immediately walked away, probably heading to the cashier already.

“I-I don’t know, okay? It was one night.” Lousy lies came out of your mouth, and you already knew that Hanji would not buy this. They smirked at you, patting your shoulder.

“Whatever you say, honey, I’ll get going, don’t forget to buy condoms, okay?”

Your face is now so red because of the sudden conversation and how loud Hanji’s voice was. Everyone in that section probably thinks that you really are a slut. You face palmed, stopping to your tracks when you remember what Levi had signaled you to do so.

Levi: I got you all you need, just meet me in my car.

(Y/N): k just lemme pay for some cookies

Without waiting for his reply, you shoved your phone in your bag. Immediately heading to the cashier to pay for your beloved butter cookies. It was a shame, though. You thought. You were somehow anticipating to have a decent grocery shopping date with Levi, and it was cut short.

You sighed. Maybe some things just are not meant to happen, after all.

_____

The whole room seemed to be too huge as you walk your way towards your seat, next to Nanaba. She eyed you as if you were an alien, confusion is plastered across her face as you limped, wincing when you were not careful enough for another step.

“What happened to you?” She asks, helping you put your heavy-ass bag down and cringing upon hearing your whims.

Levi happened. “Nothing, I worked out too hard.” You lied, again, loathing how hard the chair is against your butt and sore muscles, flinching whenever a muscle aches suddenly, remembering how unquenchable your thirst was last night. Nonstop fucking happened in your apartment, hours of skin-to-skin activities had made you limp and as Levi would say, fucking weak.

Huge, fresh, and screaming hickeys greeted you this morning that you wanted to storm into Levi’s apartment and kick him in the nuts. Good thing you have a concealer, because knowing your friends, you would be in the hot seat if ever they see the marks on your neck.

Modules were handed out to all of you, the professor of this minor but terrible subject gave one final activity and you are officially done with your finals here. You immediately worked on it, ignoring Hanji’s blabbering and occasionally saying yes whenever them and Nanaba asks you questions, something about going to the mall later. You really do not have any kind of plans, so.

“Say, have you seen the invitation for the soiree?” Hanji started, your head lifted up at what they had just said.

You raised a brow at her, “It’s a soiree now? I thought it was just a simple event.” You left your most decent dresses at home! And by home, it meant not your apartment.

“Are you not happy?” Nanaba asks, bewildered because of your reaction, “Just buy one later.”

Hanji scoffs, “You’re lucky you’d get to have a formal date with the computer guy,” Your eyes widened at her sudden remark, Nanaba is now perplexed and looking back and forth at the two of you.

“She’s fucking someone from Comp Engineering, I saw her yesterday. . .”

Sighing, you eventually let Hanji spill the beans to Nanaba. It is not like they would know, anyway. But, the thought of being scared of your friends knowing bothered you a lot. What if you admit that you and Levi are fucking? Then it would be okay, right?

No it won’t. It is you and Levi. They would go berserk if they realize that you, a dean’s lister, and Levi, one of the most serious individuals who looks like one who does not have a sex life, is settling in a relationship with no labels. No responsibilities, you know better than that. But that is what makes it safe, right?

Him and I, but never ‘us.’ You felt a twinge in your heart when you thought about it, shaking the thought away and butting in your friends’ conversation.

Still limping, you followed your friends towards a decent boutique when you arrived at the mall. They offered you different kinds of clothing, and luckily, they have dresses which are pleasant enough to make you look pleasant.

“Is it required to have a date?” Nanaba questioned, reading whatever is on the invitation. You shrugged your shoulders, not really interested on having a date.

“What are you, a high school student?”

You rolled your eyes at the both of them, you could already feel the unnecessary argument starting to brew, “I think it depends on you, it would not matter, anyway.” You said, eyeing a white dress from afar.

“But I want to be a high school student!” Hanji whined.

Ignoring your friends, you approached the silk dress. Adoring how nice it looks and envisioning how it might look on you. The saleslady greeted you, giving a kind smile that you returned, “Do you want to try it?”

The dress suited you finely. White’s elegance never fails to make you enchanted, and upon trying the dress, you immediately know that it’s the one.

“Ooh! I’ve got an idea! What if I tell Erwin to ask me out?” Hanji asks, making you laugh while you admire yourself in the mirror. It’s perfect.

“Don’t be silly, I heard he’s planning to ask Marie out.” Nanaba interferes, they are talking from different fitting rooms, you sighed.

“Marie will probably go with Nile,” Hanji rebuts “And where did you learn that from?”

Nanaba cleared her throat, “I heard it from Mike.”

Hanji’s loud teasing is probably heard across the whole shop, spatting various accusations about Nanaba and Mike’s relationship, and the latter defended herself, claiming that they are just friends. And if the person knew about you and Levi, it would probably be worse than this, but just like them, you are all aware that you are just friends.

_____

Hanji: jst take me w u Erwin

Mike: the man’s sad because of his lil crush

Hanji: yep cmon just ask me i wont reject u c:

The night before the soiree, your group’s groupchat has been louder than it usually was. Turns out, Marie, the girl that Erwin had planned to ask out, has already agreed going with Nile, someone form Architecture. Mike’s with Nanaba, and they easily slipped off everyone’s teasing because it was pretty obvious, even way before. Hanji’s pestering Erwin about taking them to the soiree as his date.

Erwin: Okay, fine.

Moblit’s planning to go alone because according to him, having a date will spoil the fun. You are going alone, too. And so is Levi who is currently lying in your bed, bare and naked.

“They won’t suspect anything if we go alone.” The mutual decision offered many pros, and having a date’s just formality, too. The two of you did not see the point of going with someone, in your terms, you are done being high school students.

You rested your chin against your palm while you eyed Levi who is scrolling through his phone. Chilly air entered your apartment and you rolled your eyes at the sight of open windows that the both of you had forgotten to close earlier because you were busy snogging.

“‘Cha doin’?” You asked, straddling Levi and snuggling against his chest to steal his warmth. He lets you in by moving the blanket so that the both of you are nicely covered, his cologne still lingering on his skin despite the sweat that had cascaded down his body earlier, while he was busy pounding into you.

He pressed his lips on your forehead, placing his one arm over your bare back, feeling the coldness and gently rubbing it away, “Checking some shit.”

You played with his hair for a while, twirling his jet-black hair in your fingers and occasionally massaging his undercut, earning a groan every once in a while. Your fingers gently walked down to his sharp jawline, reaching his neck. The bruises you have left is now extremely light marks, as they already faded away.

“Will you go home?” You asked, implying for him to stay the night and cuddle with you. His bluish grey eyes looked down at you, softening upon seeing your angelic face.

“I’ll go home tomorrow morning,” He says, placing you on your bed and turning to his side to hug you and pepper your chest with kisses.

_____

Tomorrow evening came by fast, you were picked up by Mike and Nanaba, and now, you are on your way to the hotel venue. Third wheeling has always been your role at dates, you smiled at the thought. This event became an impromptu prom for college students, and you silently hoped that there would be a mobile bar, at least.

Erwin, Moblit, and Hanji waited for the three of you by the entrance, they looked dashing in their clothes. You kissed their cheeks the moment you approached them, and you did not get away from your classmates who praised how well you looked tonight.

The silk, white dress accentuated every feature that you have got. In Mike’s words, “Girl’s damn pretty.”

You presented your stubs upon entrance and your friends picked a seat near the buffet table. These people. You shook your head and followed everyone, sitting in the middle of Hanji and Nanaba as you sat down and let your eyes wander for a moment.

The whole place screamed Winter wonderland and you were glad upon picking the color white for an outfit. Again, people were up for their own shit. Some are already lining up on the mobile bar, taking pictures, some are trying to make out, you lifted your hand when you saw Mikasa and Eren, along with Armin and waved your hands at them.

To accommodate the whole department of engineering, one must have a venue as big as the fucking Earth, and you are glad that the place’s actually wide enough, you can’t stand being in a crowded place, and so is Levi.

“Where’s shorty?”

Erwin looked up upon hearing Hanji’s voice, he’s playing another mobile game with Mike. “He’s with his date, I guess.”

Your heart skipped a beat after hearing what Erwin had just said. He’s got a what?

“Really? Who?” Hanji asks, munching up the appetizers on your table.

The blonde man shrugged his shoulders, “I think it’s Ral, she’s our classmate.”

Of course, who are you to feel jealous? You ran your fingers through your hair to relieve the horrible feeling of being betrayed, because after all, you had no label, no commitments. All you did was fuck, is it bad that your heart felt like it has been stumped on millions of times because of a non-existent relationship? Maybe.

A woman with beautiful auburn hair greeted your sight, next to her is Levi, his hand held hers the way he did with yours after hours of fucking and playing around. You wanted to punch yourself at this very moment. Because somehow, you anticipated that you’d be his girl for the night. You expected him to be next to you, while the both of you exchange meaningful glances and stares that meant a lot more than just “hey”.

Or did you mistook his stares for something more than you were supposed to?

The chair produced a screeching sound as you stood up, grabbing your bag and putting the chair back to its place. You are pretty sure that everyone’s perplexed because of your sudden movements.

“Where are you going?” Hanji held your wrist, demanding an immediate answer.

“I’m thirsty, goin’ to the bar.” You break away from their grasp, and you heard their chair move as well.

Their arm draped around your shoulders, “Ooh, feisty, I’m coming along!”

_____

Warm, strong mixes of alcohol provided your throat the spirit and your system the courage to confront the man later. You want to be demolished, body and soul. You had no fucking idea, that letting go of something that was never yours to begin with would feel this way.

Okay, that hurts.

Looking to your left, you saw Hanji trying to drink every kind of cocktail, you already know her end game. Godbless our poor Erwin, you thought.

“Hey.”

You hated the familiarity of his voice, and how your heart reacts whenever he is near. Levi fucking Ackerman is next to you, eyeing how you drink the tequila as if it was orange juice.

“Go back to your date, Levi,” You said calmly, sucking on the lemon. Nothing could be more bitter than this night.

He placed his hand on your back, “She asked me to.” Remorse filled his voice. You know Levi. You know that he would not even look at you even just for a second if he already had his eyes on another person.

“It’s okay, Levi.” You can’t even look at him.

His warm hand captured your wrist once again, lightly tugging you, and you could not refuse anyway. You let him lead the way until you reached the secluded garden. The place might be off-limits, but who fucking cares? You are about to get heart broken, might as well do this in a nice place.

“What’s your problem?” You scoffed at his question, glaring at him with your cold eyes. Pain is evident within the depts of your stares, and God knows how sorry Levi is for making you feel this way.

“Really?”

You are about to walk away when he grabbed your hand and forced you to stay in front of him. His strong arms caged your body.

“Fuck, (Y/N), just say something.” He whispered.

The both of you are fools whose hearts resonated against the beat of the other.

“There is nothing in between us, that is my problem! Y-you don’t know how defenseless I have felt when I saw you with her,” You burst, thousands of unsaid sentiments are now overflowing along the tears that had escaped your eyes, “I’m not dumb. You aren’t, too. Why won’t we just fucking admit?”

He sighed against your hair, rubbing your back with his free hand and embracing you with the other, “You know,” He cleared his throat, “The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew that one day you’ll have me,” His hand lifted your face, kissing your tears away, “You weren’t hard to love, (Y/N).”

“I hate how you called me your friend when my heart called you something else, I hate how my being sought for a label while we kept this as a secret,” The music echoed from the function hall, a sign that the main event had already started. Your trembling lips set everything you wanted to say free, “I was fucking scared, Levi. I was scared of commitments and responsibilities, and then you came along. . .”

Levi pulled you closer to his body, you could feel the turmoil residing within his chest. “And I don’t want to be scared anymore.” You sobbed within his embrace. You are both aware of how you feel. How the little things that mattered to you and him had meant something more than just being friends with benefits.

“Your eyes gave you away,” He chuckled, planting a kiss on your forehead, “I am a shitty person, you know that,” He said, holding you tighter. None of you wanted to let go, because you are both cowards who did not know how to start, and now you are clueless about what will happen if ever you let go, “And I would settle for anything as long as you’d be with me. I was a scum for thinking about the risks of being official without even trying. I was afraid that you’d know me more- I’m fucked up, (Y/N), then you’ll get tired of me. . .”

He made you look at him directly in the eyes, fondness and passion lurking along the hues of grey and blue, “And I don’t want you to be tired of me.”

Your emotions sang as one, the wind accompanying you both as you realized the choices that you have. Along the months of drowning in denials and trying to withdraw against the whisper of your hearts, you found yourself being carried away by the intensity of fate, just to lead you against each other’s embrace.

“Are you scared?” You asked, clinging onto him like there is no more tomorrow, feeling the tenderness of his heartbeats.

“I won’t be, for as long as I am with you.”

You nodded against his embrace, relief washing the anxiety and pain from your system. Commitments are scary, responsibilities seem to be terrifying, but nothing’s worse than letting a chance slip away because of cowardice. Nothing is worse than not being able to hold his hand and eventually having to let go.

“What do we call us?” You asked, letting him sway you against the cozy Christmas song.

He smiled, planting a soft kiss on your lips, “Lovers.”

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #snk #aot #levi x you #snk x reader #rulerofstars

203 notes · View notes

ackermans-freedom-inc · 4 years

Text

nothing more

Tags: Smut, angst, kinda fluff

“Ngh! Levi!...Levi..harder...yes..YES...fuck...Fuck...Levi!” you screamed as your back arched off the bed and your body convulsed in a mind-blowing orgasm. Levi smirked as he kept pumping into you, his hips smacking against your thighs as your arms wrapped around his back. He was so close. He leaned forward, leaning his weight onto his right hand as he continued to pump into your quivering body, and freed his left hand in order to fondle your breast.

You moaned again, feeling the tingling of your sixth...or was it seventh orgasm building in your gut. As Levi pinched your nipple between his fingers, you keened, breath coming out fast and hot. “Please Levi....please...cum inside me Levi...please!” you begged.

Grunting, Levi felt pride swell in his chest as he could feel you come undone again, your body gripping his cock tight, bringing him ever closer to the edge. He could feel his self control crumbling as you begged for his release. With another grunt and a soft groan, he slammed his cock into you as deep as he could while smashing his lips to yours in an attempt to muffle your scream as you came simultaneously.

As you caught your breath, you thought of how you ended up in this situation.

It was three months ago when Levi first approached you. You and him had been working closely together for years now, both working up the ranks together. You always had to push back in order to get assigned leadership roles due to the fact that the military was still run by old men. It too you years to prove yourself just as capable if not more than those fuckers who just had to show up and were assigned high ranking leadership roles, or were handed command just because their father or uncle was the previous commander. You worked yourself to the bone to get where you were.

That was what actually first drew you to Levi. He never questioned you, never undermined you, and always took what you had to say to heart. He valued your opinions and strategic skills, and often relied on your opinions. Somehow, in the years of working together, you felt yourself drawn to him, and him to you.

But this was the military. It was no fun and games. Lives were gambled with every day for the greater good, and families were ripped apart all too often.

You knew how Levi felt about relationships, given that you had seen him through a number of committed relationships only to lose his significant other to illness, injury, or the depth of a titan’s mouth. You were also with him when he steeled himself against the emotions that threatened spill over after his last partner left him, saying she would rather be with a man who might live long enough to see his grandkids. That was when Levi vowed that he would never pursue a relationship again.

Months later, you and the captain had been drinking tea alone in the mess hall after hours when he asked you. “Hey, Y/N, I’ve been thinking. How do you feel about having sex? With me?”

You of course, choked on your tea and had to take a moment to compose yourself before confirming what you thought you heard. “Did I hear you right Levi? Are you asking me to have sex with you? Are you out of your mind?”

The onyx haired man sitting beside you in the dimly lit hall didn't even blink. “Think about it Y/N, we have both seen too much death and destruction to delude ourselves into thinking having a relationship is possible while doing this job. I have my needs and you have yours, and, seeing as we have been friends for years, it is only logical that we would be the best match for this. Let’s forgo this relationship nonsense, and just enjoy the freedom of a friends with benefits situation”

You had surprised Levi when you agreed with him almost immediately after his explanation. He had expected you to put up a little more of a fight.

Having finally caught your breath, you drifted out of your thoughts and looked over at the sleeping form of Levi beside you. As much of an insomniac as he was, Levi never failed to fall asleep after you and him had a session. Wrapping an arm around your nakedness, you managed to gather all your clothes and dressed yourself quickly before slipping out of Levi’s room without a sound.

You couldn’t bring yourself to fall asleep next to him.

Your emotions swirled in your chest as you deluded yourself. I’m fine with this...this friends with benefits thing is great! Why would I need anything more...

The truth was, you had been in love with Levi for years. When you first met, he was the cold, ruthless cadet that was always just slightly better than you at everything he did. And oh how you resented that. But over the years, after working so closely together, you became the one that knew and understood Levi the most. Even when Erwin could not get through to him, you could. Levi would always listen to you.

The next time Levi asked for your company was the night before the Rose Ball. The Ball was a major headache for Erwin and the other high ranking officers as much as it was a much anticipated event. All the cadets looked forward to a night of feasting and dancing, while Erwin and the others looked forward to a chance of wooing some of the wealthier patrons into opening their chequebook. You had been looking forward to the Ball as well, and had been thinking of asking Levi to attend it with you. It wasn’t like you had anyone else to ask, and truth be told, you’d rather go with Levi anyways.

The door swung open, revealing piercing grey eyes that scanned over your form quickly before you were ushered into the room. Before the door even had a chance to close behind you, you were roughly pushed up against the wall, Levi’s hands already all over your body, ripping your blouse off as his lips sucked harshly against the soft skin of your neck.

“Y/N” breathed Levi as he continued to nip and suck at your skin, while you writhed in his grasp. As he worked your blouse and undergarments off, his eyes flashed to yours for a brief moment, lust filled pupils obscuring the grey you so admired. You barely had time to whimper out a soft “Mm..Levi” before his mouth descended over your breasts, sucking and licking until your core was dripping with need. As Levi slowly and expertly worked your body, you could not help but rock your hips into his, puffing your chest out slightly as you felt the hardness of his cock straining against his pants.

Feeling bold, you reached down and began working his belt off, hands sloppily unbuckling him and all but tearing apart the button and working the zipper down before grabbing a handful of his cock. This earned you a particularly enticing grunt and a soft whisper of “Fuck, Y/N...thats it...”

Wasting no time, you shimmied off your own pants with one hand while the other continued to stroke Levi and by the time your pants had pooled around your ankles, you had already turned your body to face the door you were pressed against, Levi’s cock still in your hand, but now positioned exactly where you needed him.

Levi obviously understood, and wasted no time in bending you over and grabbing a handful of your hair while thrusting into you all at once, giving you no time to adjust. “Fuck, Levi, you feel so good inside...” You breathed, tears prickling your eyes at the intensity of it all.

It was nearly an hour later when you both finally collapsed onto the bed, completely spent. Knowing you had about 3 minutes before Levi insisted on dragging your sorry ass into the shower and change the sheets, you figured this was as good a time as any to finally ask him.

“Hey Levi...about the Ball tmr...” your started

“Oh. Yah, that reminds me. You would not believe this Y/N.” Levi suddenly sat up and turned towards you. “You would NOT believe what eyebrows did.” Levi repeated. “He set me up with a bunch of old geezers’ daughters tomorrow for the Ball. Apparently they all wanted to meet me and so Erwin arranged me to be their guide and official date. Official date to a bunch of little rich brats just so we can get their daddies money. Tch.” Levi lay back down and scoffed, his hands running through his hair.

You swallowed thickly, trying to get the lump out of your throat. Of course Levi already had a date. Scratch that. He had multiple dates. As much as you tried to reason with yourself that Erwin was the one who set it up, you couldn't help but feel the jealousy pool in the pit of your stomach.

As much as you prepared yourself for the scene in front of you, it still hurt to see a beautiful woman in Levi’s arms as they twirled around the room to the light music that was playing. Levi had his typical pokerface on, but you could see traces of a smile on his face. This irked you even more as you knew how rare those smiles were. As the dance finished up, Levi was swarmed by his posse of young aristocrats. They were all dripping in gorgeous jewelry, and each tried to outdo each other - bosoms were a mere breath from escaping the confines of their corsets. As much as Levi hated politics and the insincerity of such events, he knew how important funding was, and so bit back a sigh as he allowed himself to be dragged onto the dance floor once again by one of the young ladies.

You tugged at your own dress. It was a plain grey dress with sequins. How funny was it that just mere hours ago, you felt the most beautiful you have ever felt, and suddenly now, you felt underdressed and plain. You were about to turn around and retreat to your quarters when you heard someone clear their throat behind you, and a light tap on your shoulder. As you twirled around, you hoped it would be Levi, but instead you met the deep blue eyes of Erwin looking down at you with a kind smile.

“Commander Y/N, may I say you look absolutely divine tonight.” Compliments came easy to Erwin, who was used to schmoozing for funds, but you still felt your cheeks heat up with warmth at the prospect of your boss paying you such attention. You giggled to yourself as you hid your blush and whispered a soft “thank you” back to him.

“Shall we?”

You had to take a step back and blinked a couple times before you registered Erwin’s outstretched hands. He was asking you to dance.

Hesitating, you saw out of the corner of your eye that Levi was still twirling around the room with yet another woman, her hands wrapped around Levi’s neck and his hands around her waist. You felt your heart clench in your chest and shook your head a little, willing your tears not to form. Steeling your heart, you took Erwin’s hands and fell into an easy rhythm, with his hands placed softly against your waist as yours gently rested on his broad shoulders. Erwin told you about the various women around the room as you danced, whispering to you their background and family situation as well as his strategic plans for how to increase the budget for next year. You laughed easily at the jokes and stories Erwin told you, revealing how that one particular aristocrat in the corner there had once wet themselves in front of Levi during an interrogation. As the music came to a close, you parted from Erwin, the both of you sharing a broad smile before you respectfully bowed and retreated to the refreshments table.

You absentmindedly stirred cream and sugar into your tea, and started when you felt a light tapping on your shoulder. Turning around, your tea sloshing in the cup, you were surprised when your eyes met Levis. He had a scowl on his face, eyes narrowed and grip now tightening around your wrist.

“Le-Levi...Is everything okay?” You managed to stutter, setting down your tea and gently prying his hand off your wrist.

“Dance with me Y/N.” Was the reply.

You faltered, your feet getting tangled with the hem of your dress as Levi all but dragged you out onto the dance floor, as the next dance was gearing up. This was so different than the dance you shared with Erwin. There was no warmth this time with Levi, just rigid movements and frustration.

As you hesitantly placed your arms around Levi’s shoulders, you felt his hands grip your waist. As you leaned in, a sweet, flirtatious gaze in your eyes as you tried to tease the tense man. Any onlooker would look at the two of you dancing and presume you were whispering sweet nothings to him.

“Hey Levi, one of those royal ladies tried to cop a feel or something? What crawled up your ass?” you murmured.

He only scoffed, barely looking at you.

His rebuff was like a stab straight to your heart, and your footing faltered once more, your heel catching Levi's ankle.

Grunting, Levi let go of you and pushed you an arms length away, causing you to sway a little, just narrowly avoiding all the other twirling couples around you.

“You weren’t so clumsy dancing with Erwin earlier!” Levi spat “What, I’m not good enough for you or something Y/N?”

You spluttered, mouth open and closing in disbelief. You couldn’t help the tears that filled your eyes once more as you didn't even bother with a reply, choosing instead to turn on your heels and weave your way through the crowd, back to the refreshment table to catch your breath.

Levi watched your retreating figure and scoffed again, one hand reaching towards his cravat and loosening it slightly. The emotion that was swirling in the man's chest was one that he hadn't felt in many moons. The green fire of jealousy swirled within him as he watched you twirl around the room with Erwin. Erwin of all people. He barely registered the pampering of the girl that was in his arms, filling his nostrils with the sickly sweet scent of vanilla and custard that she apparently bathed in before the dance. All he could see was how close Erwin was to you, how easily he made you laugh in his arms, and how you looked so comfortable, so carefree, so at peace.

A soft hand placed on his cheek roused him from his reverie and it took all his restraint to avoid recoiling from the touch. Another lady had sauntered up to him, inviting him to dance. She was all over him from the beginning, her hand stroking his cheek as she pressed her bosom up against his chest, giving him an eyeful. Her voice was dripping with lust, her eyes lidded and lacquered lips parted. Yet, Levi was unmoved.

You sighed, heart clenching once again in your chest as you watched Levi from across the room. You couldn't understand why the strongest man you knew would allow himself to be touched in such a way by the lady in his arms. You could practically hear him screaming to himself in his head about the germs and grime. Placing down your teacup, you took one more lingering look at Levi before plodding across the hall to retreat to your room. You barely made it halfway when clawed hands came and ripped out the pin in your hair, as another tore at the sleeve of your dress.

You whirled around, hands up and ready to fight, only to find yourself surrounded by Levi’s posse.

“Who do you think you are, you little commoner peasant? Dancing with our Levi?”

“You think with your slutty dress you can entice our captain?”

“Look at her, trying to show us up with your boobs pressed up like that”

Their voices tore at your self esteem as their nails tore at your dress and hair. You wanted to fight back, and god knew you could have all of them on their asses within a minute, but you knew what that would do to your reputation and most importantly, what the repercussions would be on the funding. So you just took it. Your eyes were empty and dead as you took in their words, cutting deeper and deeper into your heart.

No wonder Levi was just using you. How could he fall in love with someone like you. Independent, sarcastic, and as good a cusser as anyone on the squad. You were drenched in sweat half the week, and in titan blood the other half. Your body was lean, no curves and soft edges like these women in front of you. Your hair was soft, but nowhere near as soft and smooth as the tresses of these ladies, and you barely used water to wash your face, your beauty a far cry from the carefully made up faces of the ladies before you. You felt the bile rise up in your chest, feeling sick that you ever once entertained the prospect of Levi and your unorthodox relationship blossoming into anything more.

By now, the ladies had run out of things to insult you with, and, as the next song was gearing up, craned their necks to look for Levi. They were surprised when the man they were looking for appeared in front of them, eyes roaming over your now undone hair, hairpin on the ground, and the loose threads of your dress sleeves. As your tired lifeless eyes met Levi’s, you thought you could see a moment of worry in his eyes before his mouth curled into a smile as he gestured to the ladies around you.

“What seems to be the problem here?” Levi inquired, stooping down to pick up your hairpin.

“Nothing Captain Levi, we were just teaching this commoner a lesson!”

“Thats right Captain! We saw her forcing you to dance earlier and came to tell her to back off.”

“Is she anyone to you captain? Why did you dance with her? Why not with one of us?”

At the last question, you raised your eyes to meet Levi’s. Your breath caught in your throat and your heart drummed against your chest waiting for his reply.

“Tch. She's nobody special, just a colleague. Let’s get back to the dance floor ladies, no need to worry about her.” Levi’s words were the final nail in the coffin for you that night. Hot tears finally fell from your eyes as you met his eyes with absolute fury. You gave him the best glare you could as you turned once again on your heels and ran for the doors, ripping off your earrings and necklace as your feet took you to your room.

It was hours later when Levi knocked on your door. When you pretended not to hear it, he let himself in. Looking at your figure, huddled in the corner of your bed, he sighed and sat with you.

“Look, Y/N...” He grimaced, unable to come up with the words. “I had to do that. You understand. It’s the politics. If they knew our relationship, donations would have dwindled.”

You knew his words made sense, hell, you would have done the same thing. But somehow it didn’t lessen the pain.

You plastered a fake smile on your face and looked up at him. “Levi, it’s fine. I just had a rough night. Nothing to do with you. I understand why you did what you did, and its fine. Really.” How you managed those words without your voice wavering was a feat. However, it seemed to be good enough to fool Levi, and if it wasn't he was wise enough not to press the issue any further.

Rubbing a hand across the back of his neck, he reached into his jacket pocket and took out what he came to give you. The cravat he had wore that night.

You had given this cravat to him a week ago, and its colour was the thing that caught his eye. It was a gorgeous light smokey grey. It never occurred to him that it just happened to be the same shade of grey as the dress you wore that night.

With another soft smile and a soft hum in reply to Levi’s “Goodnight Y/N”, you curled yourself up into bed and willed yourself to forget everything that happened that night as you fell into an uncomfortable sleep.

Something was wrong with you. Every time Levi looked at you, your eyes would dart away from him and you seemed to shrink into yourself. At strategy meetings, you would relay your thoughts to Erwin rather than bounce ideas off him, something you used to do without a second thought. You even chose to take on additional training schedules, teaching an additional class of recruits during what used to be shared break time between yourself and Levi. Your smiles and greetings were the same when Levi passed you in the halls, but the cheerful “Morning Captain” was a far cry from the “Heya Levi!” that you used to call him.

You almost never met him for tea during the night anymore, and Levi suspected that you had either quit caffeine, or brought in a kettle to your room in favour of drinking in the mess hall.

However, the base was busy, the Ball having done wonders for the reputation of the squad, and Erwin was beside himself with the donations. There was now more than enough to go on many more mapping and research expeditions, and new equipment and better food could be ordered without worrying about budget shortfalls. Levi knew how busy you were with all these new donations, and continued to operate on the belief that you weren't avoiding him as much as you were swamped with work.

He couldn’t help but feel uneasy. Why he cared so much that you stopped calling him “Levi” and switched to calling him “Captain”. Why your smile no longer came as easily when it was directed at him. Why your usual independent, sunny self seemed to be carrying a dark cloud around. He figured it was stress from the work.

Deciding to confront you, he decided to drop by your room that night and see if he could help you destress.

You knew it was Levi as soon as he knocked on your door. There was an unmistakable aura that the man exuded that gave him away. At least, that's what you told yourself. Deep down, you knew it was Levi because of the way your heart clenched and suddenly started hammering in your chest.

Letting himself in following your greeting, you smiled when you saw Levi walking in with two cups of tea. You gestured towards your desk, a small army of teacups stacked in the corner.

“You’ve been avoiding me Y/N?” Levi cut straight to the chase.

“What? Captain. You’re imagining things. I've just been busy is all.” Your voice was soft, detached.

The clack of ceramic against your desk startled you and you looked up to see Levi, fists at his side, his eyes deadly as they looked into yours.

“Cut the bullshit Y/N. Spit it out. I’m sick and tired of Captain this Captain that. What crawled up your ass and died that made you like this, because you certainly don't act like this towards Erwin!”

The dam broke.

You stood up slowly, and instead of answering his question, you merely placed a soft hand on Levi’s shoulder and sighed.

“Look Levi, I’m tired of all this. All this pretending. Let’s stop our arrangement. From now on, you don't have to look out for me anymore, and you’re free to look for someone else to get into an arrangement with. But it’s not going to be me anymore. I just can't do it.”

Brushing past the man, you left your own room, not giving Levi a chance to say anything in reply.

The next few weeks were awkward. You never realized how close you were with Levi until he removed himself from your side. He really did begin to treat you like a normal colleague, small nods as he passed you in the halls, a soft pat on the shoulder for a job well done. He even began to bypass your opinion, choosing instead to meet with Erwin or even Hanji.

You dealt with it all, after all, it was your idea to end the arrangement. You had hoped the distance would quell the feelings for Levi that swirled in your chest. You knew you had no chance with him, after all, the ladies from that night were right.

In a misguided effort to make yourself feel better, you even set your sights on another commander named Sara that recently transferred from another unit for Levi. You knew she had a crush on Levi, so you actively encouraged her to do the things that you knew Levi liked. You taught her how to clean to Levi's liking, how Levi liked his tea, how to properly prep his horse etc.

You hid behind a pillar as you gestured towards Sara. She had it set that she wanted to confess to the captain, so you gave her the best tips. Bring tea, catch him at the end of the night when he's in a good mood, and be direct, not shy.

You gave her another thumbs up and a wide smile even as your heart screamed inside your chest.

As Sara rounded the corner of the door, you lost sight of her, but could still hear their faint voices.

“Captain Levi sir, sorry to bother you” came Sara’s sweet voice

“Ah, Captain Sara, how are you settling in?” was Levi’s curt reply.

“I just wanted to bring you some tea and let you know how much I appreciate you taking me under your wing after my transfer...and to let you know that, Captain Levi sir...I like you!” Sara managed to spill out all her thoughts in one fluid sentence.

Levi sounded calm when he sighed. “Look captain, I am flattered. I’m sure a lovely young woman such as yourself have many men falling at your feet. However, I have to make it clear that I am in no position to be in a relationship, and while I accept your feelings, I am unable to reciprocate. My apologies.”

That night, you had woken up from a nightmare, drenched in sweat. You could not remember the dream itself, but the fear and despair stayed in your heart as you caught your breath. It wasn't till half a candle length later that you retreated back to bed, freshly showered and fresh cup of tea in hand.

You barely had time to take a sip of your tea before your door was swung open, and a wild eyed Levi barged in. Before you could even ask what the problem was, Levi barrelled himself into you, hands clenched around you, one fisted in your hair and the other behind your neck as his eyes searched yours.

“Levi...” You breathed, unable to understand what prompted the man to suddenly behave this way.

It was as if his name on your lips restarted him, Levi's eyes refocusing and grip loosening, but hands still remained around you.

He buried his face in the crook of your neck and breathed in your scent. He took your left hand in his as he searched for something on your hand.

“I had a dream Y/N. A dream you were getting married...to Erwin.” Levi managed “I couldn’t believe you of all people were going to leave me behind, and I had to check.”

You were still puzzled, eyes finally meeting Levi's wild ones as you wrapped your arms around him and cooed softly.

“Levi...why would I be marrying Erwin? And even if I did, I wouldn’t leave you behind silly, we’re your best friends after all.”

You evidently said something wrong as the next second, Levi was on top of you. He had pushed you down onto your bed and his chest was heaving.

“Don’t you say that. Even if you were married to Erwin? Even if? Y/N? Even if?” Levi yelled

“God dammit Y/N. I can't do this anymore. I endured you dancing with Erwin, I endured your cold behaviour towards me, I endured your little game with Sara, hell I even endured having to stay away from you, but this I cannot endure. Tell me, do you love him?”

You didn’t know what to do. Frozen underneath Levi’s form, your emotions went from anger to frustration to disbelief.

“Levi...what are you talking about. You enduring things? What about me” you managed, voice strong “I had to endure you dancing with a gaggle of girls all night, I dealt with their insults, and worst of all, I had to deal with you dismissing me as a nobody. Do you know how long I’ve loved you for you knucklehead? All those stupid sessions, I never should have agreed to it.” Your eyes were slowly filling with tears now, and Levi was so surprised at your confession he let you go, sitting back on your bed.

You lifted yourself up into a sitting position as you continued

“I knew how you felt about relationships Levi. I know how dangerous it is for us to fall in love. So I left it. I let myself believe we were truly together on those nights. I let myself believe that you loved me back. But at that ball, when those girls were insulting me, I took it, because I knew it was for the donations. But when you told them I was nobody, I realized you were never going to love me back. Thats why I distanced myself and decided to end the arrangement. I couldn't pretend anymore Levi. But now you come and accuse me of loving Erwin? How do you think that makes me feel?” you screamed back.

You tears had stopped by now, and you hiccuped slightly as the fatigue finally caught up to you. All the feelings that you had bottled up were finally out in the open now.

Levi didn't say a word. He lifted your hand and reached into his own pockets before placing an item into the palm of your hand.

It was the hairpin from the night of the Rose Ball.

Eyes swimming with emotion, you looked up at Levi to see him gazing at you with a soft look in his eyes.

You let him pull you in, and kiss you on your tearstained cheeks. You let him nibble sweet open mouthed kisses along your jaw and press love bites along your neck. You let him hold you close to his chest as he collected himself.

“Looks like we were both stupid huh Y/N.” Was his first words to you.

“I realized I loved you that night I saw you dancing with Erwin, and my first thought was to punch him out. My next thought was that I wanted you to myself, and instead of telling you that, I said things I didn't mean.”

You held your breath. Scared to breathe in case this was all a dream.

Levi continued “When you started treating me differently, I thought I had misread the situation, I thought you had fallen for Erwin. When you ended our arrangement and started training that starry eyed Sara I thought I was strong enough to love you from afar. But after tonight...After walking you down the aisle and giving you away to Erwin...I....” Levi faltered, voice trembling for the first time.

You reached out with you hand, placing it gently against Levi’s cheek before leaning in and connecting your lips.

“Ngh! Levi!...Levi..yes..YES...fuck...Fuck...Levi!” You screamed, as your hands fisted in your lover’s hair. His arms held you down as your hips bucked, as his face remained buried between your thighs, every flick of his tongue making your legs quiver.

Licking his lips, Levi gave you a lopsided grin and a kiss before a groan fell across his lips as you took this moment to grab his straining cock in your hands and pumping. Flipping your positions, Levi let you straddle him as you kept pumping him, enjoying the view of your nakedness atop him.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and nearly choked as suddenly, it wasn’t your hands around his cock but your lips.

As you looked at him with lidded eyes, sloppily licking at him, Levi swore that he had never seen anything sexier in his life.

Growling, he pawed at you, urging you to straddle him as he sunk himself into your wet heat.

Your belly clenched as Levi fully sheathed himself into you, your head thrown back and hips quivering in delight. It didn’t take too long before you were screaming your release on top of him, his hands around your breasts.

Flipping your now boneless body, Levi settled on top of you, and entered you once more, somehow triggering the starting waves of another orgasm within you.

As he pumped you chanted his name, along with whispers of “I love you...I love you Levi.” When he came, emptying inside you, you both didn't move. Wrapped around each other.

Levi pressed a kiss to your sweaty forehead and bundled you up to shower off with him.

It had taken some time, but you were finally together. Both unable to escape the feelings that drew you together like a magnet. Nothing else had changed, the job was still dangerous, and politics were still present, with you having to entertain the gentlemen and Levi having to dance with the ladies. What was different though, was the fact that everyone now knew who you were, and what you meant to Levi. Both of you were too scared to admit it, but sometimes, there are two people that were just fated to be together. Nothing more, and nothing less.

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 3 years

Text

Only Time Makes It Human 2

As promised, here I am with part two, hehe this is looooong and I'm really really proud of it 👉🏻👈🏻 part one here

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Tags: college!au, angst, fluff, many smooches in this chapter I hope you enjoy

Warnings: mentions of cheating, smoking and Zeke being a little shit

Cobblestone streets and modern renovated buildings bathed in tiny multi colored Christmas lights decorated almost every side of Trost with Christmas creeping around the corner. Petra's eyes were gleaming golden as they landed on every store window, the smile on her face refused to fade. Her footing only became faster as they approached the turn to the familiar coffee shop.

Her cuffed up jeans swayed as she flickered her feet to the pedestral, expectedly catching Levi's attention, but not for the reason she'd like to. Today, Petra seemed too bright and bubbly to take notice of any puddle of water that was left behind from last evening's brief snow storm. Everytime Levi managed to open his mouth, in hopes of scolding her to prevent her from getting her feet wet she seemed to skillfully sway herself out of danger, leaving him with his mouth slightly parted while his unspoken words took a roote from the tip is his tongue back to his brain.

"Come on Levi! We're almost there!" Petra said enthusiastically.

Levi only managed to click his tongue in response. With a head that was begging to burst and hips that burned in soreness and superstitial scratches inside his sweatpants he couldn't possibly bring himself to catch up on Petra's enthusiasm. He even caught himself wondering how Petra was in such a good mood; as if she wasn't mixing any existing drink along with Hange last night.

His head was swamping him, drowning him with trillions of new questions with every passing second. It was merely impossible for him to ignore his point of view of last night's events. His mind was not even allowing him to take a breather, to enjoy a soul mending cup of hot tea before he could come up with any believable assumption as to how exactly he ended up in the position he woke up in.

As he sternly walked ahead behind his bubbly partner, his heart protested in his chest everytime he set his eyes on Petra's auburn hair. His stomach, much in a horrid condition as well threatened him to spill the alcohol poisoned insides it was welding; every aspect of his sore, hungover body deemed him unable to allow him to carry on.

Nontheless, as they took the inevitable turn the all too familiar coffee shop stood only a few meters away from him as he paced a few more steps, clutching his stomach along with each tap of his feet on the ground. Petra shot him a knowing glare before she set her hands on the vast metallic knob, a loving half smile lingered it's way across her full pinkish cheeks.

Winter time didn't suit Petra, she knew that as much as the next person. Despite the fact that the saturated rosy hue on her cheeks and nose made her look unbelievably sweet, her caramel like persona and choice of aesthetic screamed spring from miles away. It was a miracle that she could manage to get through wintertime somehow stylish and warm. With her lilac puffer jacket zipped up over her mouth and her wide leg jeans cuffed perfectly in order for her butterfly patterned socks to peak from her creamy Converse, she felt somehow confident enough that this could be a regular casual look for her.

However, with the holidays approaching in a week's time she knew she would have much more liberty to her clothing choices. She shot another warm look at Levi again, never loosing her small smile as she painted the picture of the two of them near Erwin's fireplace on Christmas day in her head.

Had it not been for his body pushing him over the edge of guilt be probably would have left his heart warm up by the small affectionate gesture.

Petra's attention seemed to deviate away from him for a few, mere seconds, with an ultimate goal to find a nice comfortable booth to sit in. Upon her eyes falling to the left she spotted one that looked decent, if not, the best booth in the cafe. Plenty of today's minimal sunlight was gathered on the spot; at the side there was a waitress, silently scrubbing the surface of the table with force, a tray with used cups and plates balancing perfectly on her other hand.

Amazing spot and recently cleaned? Levi's prayers must have been heard today.

She resended the fact that Levi would be too grumpy to let himself be bathed in light; with a grip of her hand around his wrist she pulled him towards the booth in fast movements. She couldn't have anyone take the perfect stand on her favorite cafe and plus, it would do good to both her and Levi to warm up under the nice morning light.

Petra loosened her puffer jacket off her frame, as silently as she could master; she knew by looking at Levi's face that he was in pain. It was unusual if him to get that drunk, she knew, but he had been particularly grumpy and almost too generous with his drink the previous night.

Not that Petra couldn't suspect the reason as to why Levi had managed to go to such extend. Her mind had been fast to put the pieces together when she saw you approaching their group and even faster to acknowledge that you seemed to ignore Levi and her completely. She had seen the effort and pain in your somewhat unfocused eyes every time you threw a small glance at them, she had seen the way Levi's face would fall with every passing second as your greeting to him never came and she wasn't one to judge.

When deciding to go after Levi after he had just broken up with you she knew she had to accept that maybe he wouldn't be able to recover from his past relationship that early as to get in one with her. Hange had warned her about it, her friends had warned her about it, but with her caramel sunshine personality and quick smart wits she had found her self in a promising position to Levi's future. In addition, they were having fun, joyous moments together, their linking had soon turned into what seemed like a blooming relationship.

"So." Petra beamed and shook her thoughts off her head, extending her hands patiently waiting for Levi to respond to the action by tingling his fingers through hers. "What's today's tea?"

Getting comfortable in her seat wasn't hard. The faux leathery material of the booth rubbed on her buttocks but with her jeans muffling most of the sound though she let it fall deaf in her ears. Still, her hands sat welcomingly extended on the table, her fingers occasionally motioning Levi to take a good grab at them to which he never seemed to pay attention. He seemed to distracted and anxious, too deviated of the world around him. But still Petra remained beaming, patient.

"Today." Levi sighed, burying his head between his palms, rubbing along his eyebrows with his thumbs. "Today I'll have coffee."

"Oh it's one of those days?" Despite not wanting to be too generous with her bubbliness to the point where she could irritate the man, Petra chose to simply lower her voice in understanding.

"Turkish, make it double and bitter."

Only on rare occasions did Levi drink coffee. He didn't despise the taste as much as warm lager though, what got him cringing with coffee was that he'd be moody and sad all day afterwards. But today sure had been an exception. No amount of painkillers would work for his head if he didn't get a sufficient amount of caffeine in his body. And since he already was in a shitty mood, how could coffee make it any worse.

With Petra out of sight for a few moments he was for the first time today, left alone with his thoughts. As his head throbbed memories roared their way to every corner of his brain, making his eyes squint. Anxiety would creep in and out as he thought of leaving you in his apartment confused and all alone, supposing you'd know what to do.

How could you know what to do?

In that moment leaving with Petra had seemed as the only possible thing for him to do; he couldn't expose you to her, for all that was worth you shouldn't have been there in the first place. But now? Thinking about it made him sick to the stomach. You were equally confused as lost in the moment and he had left you alone after spitting his anger for himself towards you, he made a mental note that a little self control couldn't harm him the next time he had to deal with promiscuous situation.

Most importantly though, he was facing an irrational inner conflict. He wasn't one to jump to impulsive decisions, but he wasn't one to be unfaithful either; his actions sat acute on his chest, sending dry gulps down his throat.

Petra arrived with two drinks in her hands before he had time to process his thoughts further. Sitting her self on the booth again she passed him the small white cup, the strong aroma of Turkish coffee hitting him immediately upon the action.

His chest tensed as he finally felt comfortable to shift outside of his jacket. The guilt inside him was tripping, lathering his stomach in vibrations and spending hot waves throughout his body. Suddenly, he couldn't bare to look across the table in Petra's direction.

She was sipping tenderly on her hot cup of chocolate cappuccino, her upper lip curled up in a sweetheart manner on the rim of the cup as she ogled at him with a feathery soft expression plastered across her face.

Though he loathed to be put in such position by his own self, the decision in the back of his mind seemed like the only rational one. As the time passed by and his coffee sat in the small cup, still as ever, his thoughts only roared louder. Was what he was thinking the right thing to do or was he just jumping into another heartbreak?

There was a sudden hunger eating away his insides, a need to see you and sit down to talk about whatever had happened last night. His heart was pounding at the thought of sitting across from you under a softer, humane setting, with your eyes starting into his. Maybe you could linger your hand into his, in the way Petra had prompted him to do so before and maybe he'd be able to somehow come up with particular words to solve the tention between the two of you.

But supposing that could ever be the case, that prompt left no room for Petra by his side.

"Maybe we should take a break."

The words left his mouth before he could manage to put an alt to his thoughts.

Without realizing, his eyes were now wide, starring deep into Petra's hazel ones. With shaky hands he grabbed his cup, deciding now that it was time to wet his dry mouth.

"No." Petra blinked her eyes erratically into Levi's, taken aback as she was.

It hit her like a truck.

One particular thing had struck Petra, back in the day when watching Mean Girls as a coming of age teen for the first time. The way Regina was slammed by the school bus was raw and unforgiving, perfectly fit to the nature of the scene and surprisingly it had looked realistic enough to make Petra -or anyone else- gasp. But had she ever thought she'd be in Regina's shoes?

"No?" Levi spoke as if he was right on time to answer the question in her mind. But Petra was still struck, mouth slightly agap as she stared back at him. Her mind was traveling on way too many places at once, sending anxiety to her stomach but she managed, despite all odds, to take a deep breath. Then, another.

"What's gotten into you Levi?" She asked.

"Last night was," he paused, averting his eyes with guilt.

Suddenly, Petra knew. She didn't have to try and guess what he was despairately trying to mutter. The evidence was everywhere, but she had deliberately chose to close her eyes. She should have known ever since last night when Levi left without informing no one. She squinted her eyes and furrowed her brows, by clenching her fists hard enough so that her nails were digging into her palms her knuckles turned white.

It was mostly his appearance that gave him away, more so than his behavior. When it was most likely for Levi to be unusually grumpy on many days, it wasn't like him to dress so randomly. His woolen black turtleneck didn't exactly match his sweatpants and his leather jacket. It wasn't like him to make such matches between his clothes, not even when he was in a hurry. In addition, she could see the marks behind his right ear, something he might have had no idea about, but she was going to spare him of the embarrassment.

"No, we're not breaking up."

It wasn't like her to mouth such statement; in fact, Petra would never on her right mind prevent someone from breaking up with her. She had seen it happening one too many times. Of course human relationships were made to fall apart at some point but her luck, especially when it came to romance, had never been kind.

She had been kind to everyone instead.

Whether people liked it or not that was her. Kind and considerate too much for her own good. She couldn't help that she was attracted to mysterious looking men with issues that would stand in her way of happiness; Levi was a tangible example. As much as she would like to mark her territory around him, she was aware he didn't belong to her. He had unbeknownst to him made sure to show on different occasions, whether it was by staring at you from afar for a lite too long or by finding her self being offered to wear your spare clothes that lived still in his apartment.

Maybe that was what was breaking her heart, urging her in turn to refuse his departure from her life. She didn't know why she shushed him in such way. Was it that her heart would tear in two if she heard an actual confirmation to her thoughts fall off the tip of his tongue? Most probably.

"I don't mind." She cut him off the moment she saw him opening his mouth to speak. "I'll help you get through this, I wouldn't abandon you for a slip up."

...

"(Y/n)! Where have you been we've been worried sick!"

The moment you set your collapsing feet inside the campus Sasha's eyes fell on your form, desperately shooting you simultaneous glares of terror and relief. The brunette practically run to your direction; with her feet stomping on the now discolored, moist grass that covered the majority of the campus yard she marched ambiguously. A worriedly frowned Eren who tried his best to contain his messy hair from getting in his eyes as he run, followed asuit.

"Jeez, why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?" Sasha inquired, her voice loud as it was rang through your throbbing head, lingering in any possible hurting crevice. "Are you alright!?"

"Sas, don't scream, my head is about to explode." You muttered with watery eyes, begging your self to ignore Sasha's and Eren's puzzled faces.

"You reek of alcohol and sweat!" Eren exclaimed. "Shit. Where did you stay the night?"

"Beats me, Eren, I could have slept at a bench for all I know," you exhaled below a tainted breath.

At the sight of Eren's hard, unforgiving gaze, you could feel your heart speeding up inside your chest, the small vital organ clenched on your lungs, preventing them from processing air normally. Your chest burned in anxiety and uncertainty, there wasn't much time for you to come up with any excuse of your nighttime where abouts, you knew that much, and Eren or Sasha weren't going to straight up digest any profound lie you could come up with on the spot.

"Where did you wake up though?" Eren inquired sternly, yet his voice wasn't exactly authoritative as he waited for your answer.

"Outside my apartment door, I really don't remember anything up to that though."

"Don't scare us like that!" Sasha playfully punched your shoulder as she spoke with worried eyes. Her expression though quickly changed comically into fright as she finally scanned you up and down. "Just! Where is your jacket? It's freezing! Are you crazy?"

"I left it at that house yesterday. And my keys were in it." You muttered, averting your gaze away from Sasha.

"Stay here, I have a spare jacket in my bag, I'll go get it from Connie."

You nodded in response ignoring the fact that Sasha was already running away on her tracks upon the words leaving her lips. Quickly, you noticed as the expression of disapproval deformed off Eren's face, his lips curling upwards into into a soft smug.

He leaned close to you, bringing his face to the crook of your neck tilting his chin upwards so that his lips were almost brushing against your earlobe.

"I sure did leave you a nice mark yesterday huh? Don't flaunt it like that people will get jealous that im with you." A chuckle escaped him as he placed a quick kiss at the side of your neck. Eren's words were slowly shivering their way through your spine raising every single hair on your body.

When you realised what he was referring to your eyes widened, the tender spot of skin on your nape he had planted a kiss on burned in spreading hot blotches. Your stomach growled in protest to your feelings, threatening to spill once again as anxiety tied the organ in a numbing knot.

You shot a puzzled look at Eren -or rather at his back- but you weren't sure for what exactly. Your head was spinning, processing his spoken words unevenly in despairate efforts to put the pieces together. Was he aknowledging that you were together or was he sassing you over hickies he hadn't been the one to make?

And as oblivious as ever he only shot you a wide ear to ear grin. The cold winter air blew his long bangs to all directions across his face, his eyes squinting in happiness as he pulled back from your neck placing his palms over your shoulders. He didn't really seem like he even knew whether the marks on your neck were made by him.

"You know, maybe we should go out next Saturday alright?" He batted his eyes on you once again "No labels, just us buying Christmas gifts. Maybe Zeke could come as well."

Ah yes, Zeke. As if your problems weren't big enough already while you had to deal with the fact that you were most probably ruining Levi's life again with yesterday's actions, you also had to tolerate Christmas shopping with Eren and Zeke. When the fact that Eren would avoid the two of you being alone together in any date-like scenario was a given it was only on rare occasions your so proud and self proclaimed wingman stuck along with you.

In the back of your head you could always think about Levi and how much he disliked that you would sometimes hang out with Zeke, especially due to the fact that the two of you shared a sculpture class.

But why exactly were you thinking about that now?

Nevertheless you needed to stop your mind from running back to Levi for only a moment. The way he had abandoned you in his apartment all alone was cruel enough and as you looked at Eren, worrying your button lip between your front teeth, you contemplated on whether you deserved it.

You had gotten up on your wobbly feet only to maniacally search for your clothes all over his floor. Your jacket, long forgotten in his car to which of course you didn't have access, held your apartment keys. You had opted to just dress up with the clothes you had and walk the short distance to the campus; what could have possibly happened in a ten minute walk? You couldn't freeze your arms off in such a short period of time.

Admittedly, you had taken numerous walks without a jacket after midnight during wintertime, but the freezing morning breeze of December in Trost was something you wished you had never underestimated.

If you could, you would have Sasha slap you for not borrowing one of Levi's jackets but in your last hungover braincell's defense, you didn't want to cause him any more trouble. Of course you'd put him in enough trouble when you'd ask him for your jacket and keys, you couldn't possibly imagine to have to give him back a piece of clothing you had burrowed without asking.

You were positive he had come to hate you enough that he could set any cloth you wore on fire. Was he going to do the same to the bed covers, you wondered.

Naturally, your thoughts were cut short as Sasha approached you with a hooded sweater in her hands. As the brunette whined, out of breath you finally awknowledged Eren again; his hand was wrapped around your shoulders, providing momentarily warmth as he worriedly stared at your shivering jaw.

"You must be so cold." Sasha mouthed as she wrapped her own arms over Eren's around you. "I'm sorry I didn't have a spare jacket snd, Connie didn't either but Reiner did, he gave me this and he said he'd search for your jacket at their frat alright?"

You simply nodded, slightly closing your eyes in acceptance of her gesture. Your own frozen arms came to wrap around her waist as you pulled her close to you. "Thank you baby."

"Don't mention it. Reiner also gave me a jersey, they're both fleece, you should be warm enough."

Eren seemed to shift uncomfortably as you ripped Reiner's black hoodie off Sasha's grip, despairately speeding up your movements to wear the warmth providing piece of clothing over your form. His lips puckered momentarily as he pinched his nose in what looked like annoyance from the corner of your eye. Quickly though you caught his face falling into a smug expression once again as he eyed you.

"I'll say thanks to Reiner for you." Eren said, clicking his tongue while pinching his nose once again.

Once Eren strolled away, Sasha widened her eyes dropping her mouth in an unbelievable manner of disbelief. She sucked the underside of her mouth, propping her lower lip even further to exaggerate the comical effect of her expression. Not that you were one to judge, you stared back at her with the same look on your face as well, puzzled much by Eren's mixed signals. The two of you continued to stare back and forth at eachother for a few silent moments as your temples throbbed, despairate to process what had just happened.

"Is Eren jealous?" Sasha finally uttered, finally putting the situation into words. "What the actual fuck?"

"You know he told me to go Christmas shopping with him? As in going out?" Sasha's mouth formed into an 'o' as she stared at you, her eyes lingering at your lips awaiting for your next sentence. "And what do you know, then he even said no strings attached and that he'd invite Zeke as well."

"And now he's jealous of Reiner giving you his clothes?" Sasha furrowed her brows at this, earning a reluctant nod in response by you.

"I need to have a smoke, or else I can't process this." You sighed, avoiding Sasha's disapproving gaze at your statement. As your eyes scanned around the campus you spotted Erwin and Mike sat on a kiosk. A mischievous grin of relief creeped onto your face as you thought of how Erwin would never run low on tobacco. "Wanna go say hi to Erwin and Mike?"

Sasha simply nodded, opting to keep her lecture about the hazardous nature of smoking to herself. This would have to wait for another time; she knew better than to go against her hungover friends. Connie especially was a pain in the ass to deal with. Everyone knew that much thus compared to him, your need to have a smoke felt almost irrelevant.

"Erwin!" You rolled your eyes, your face squinting in pain as you plopped yourself next to the blond, your head quickly coming to rest on his shoulder "Tell me you've got much needed tobacco and filters."

"Sure I... Uh.. I do."

"Great," you sighed "please roll me one."

Even if you missed the way everyone's eyes widened at your sudden presence, Sasha certainly didn't. With a quick, shy look at Erwin, she apologetically averted her gaze to everyone in the kiosk; she nervously cleared her throat next, attempting to get your attention as subtly as possible yet, you still sat with your eyes closed, leaning on Erwin's shoulder. In a way Sasha felt sorry for what she was about to do, but you'd be thanking her forever once you had gotten yourself out of the situation.

"Hi Levi, Petra."

"Oi"

"Hi Sasha!"

Your eyes shot open in terror as you heard the exchange of words. Your head almost immediately shot up from Erwin's shoulder; of course, as Sasha had warned you with her greeting, Levi and Petra stood before you, eyeing you up and down in judgemental looks. Automatically you placed your fingers at the nape of your neck, ready to mingle with the skin there in an attempt to cover up the bruised skin from Petra, not thinking about whether your nervous actions easily gave you away.

"Uh... Hey you guys!" You spoke. The need to to bite your tongue off and swallow it so you could never mouth anything as awkward ever again hit you almost instantly. Awestruck by your awkwardness Levi and Petra only nodded in response, causing a long sigh to escape your lips.

You seriously didn't know why you had to go through this. All you wanted was to actually process last night in a quiet friendly environment and then maybe you'd attempt to think about Eren's weirdly awaken jealously. But as Levi's steely orbs burned holes in your form, wide enough to indicate he could might as well be seeing someone come back from the dead, you disposed of the fantasy. Of course he had to occupy your mind I'm such way that your heart burned brighter than your hungover headache.

No one around you could possibly know what the look you shared with Levi meant. As far as everyone was concerned last night hadn't happened, not in their timeline at least, but for you and the onyx haired man it was an inescapable reality. It was almost telepathic, the way you knew what he was trying to tell you with his steely gaze, as if he was answering the questions inside your head.

We need to talk about last night.

Nervously you averted your gaze to Erwin's hands and they brought the rolled cigarette to your lips, wordlessly asking for you to sip the edge of the rolling paper with some saliva from the tip of your tongue to activate the glue. Once he handed the cigarette to you, you shot up, putting weight on your now week knees. With one hand you put the cigarette between your lips, you took a drag as you carefully lit it up with the lighter Erwin handed you. You waved everyone goodbye, rubbing your palm on Mike's back, earning a small smile from the blond.

Great, now there was no way you'd ask for your jacket back. You'd have someone unlock your door for you. So much for saving yourself from such embarrassment.

...

Saturday came before you could even have time to decide what gift you wanted to get everybody. As per usual, you'd be spending Christmas at Erwin's; it had became a tradition in your group even before you and Levi had hit it off as a couple. Erwin was living all alone in a huge, very non college student budget-y apartment. His father had bought it for him before passing away and you as his dear friend group, had made an oath to never leave him lonely on Christmas.

Except for last year you'd usually you'd have dinner at Erwin's. Levi had always been strict on spending at least half of the day with his mother, therefore Erwin had always had Christmas scheduled. You'd visit him on the 23rd, making all preparations for Christmas dinner and Levi's cake, so that you wouldn't have much work when the big day would finally come.

Naturally, you'd open gifts at Erwin's, therefore you always dropped your presents for the group at his place when you'd buy them, although today you didn't think you'd be able to do so.

While you were almost done with buying presents, Zeke and Eren were spending way too much time pestering each other for what gift they'd buy to their father; at first they had set their eyes on an expensive silver watch. You had to admit it was a beautiful accessory, the way it shone under the bright lighting of the store's window seemed magnificent and just like you had told Eren, you approved of such gift for Grisha, one hundred percent.

And right about then, Zeke has decided to stir things up. You knew he was jealous of Eren's and Grisha's father and son relationship, but you had never guessed it could go to such mischievous extend on the blond's behalf. With a sour expression and a poison dripping mouth Zeke had expresed his utter disgust over the watch, claiming that this was not the right gift for their father and that they should settle for something more 'doctor-like'.

Their bickering had went on for about an hour before you had decided to excuse yourself from the jewelry store. Now, you stood sat on one of the comfortable futuristic benches in between the stores, scrolling maniacally through Instagram. It was such a slow Saturday and if you were to say you were bored it would only be an understatement; almost nobody had posted anything interesting enough to catch your attention, no new music was announced by your favorite artists, hell you even missed people posting a bunch of stories with their Christmas trees.

You almost ignored the tall, dark frame approaching you as you were deeply lost into your phone. Destiny's Child - 8 Days to Christmas repeatedly blasted in your ears as you continued to scroll, still ignorant to the figure beside you.

Your own little Christmas bubble world was cut absurdly as a hand came to wave between you and your phone screen. Your heart skipped a beat as you jumped on your spot, taken aback by the sudden action. Wide eyed and looking to your left you finally came to identify the man who had startled you.

Now that could be a cure to your boredom. Even if it wasn't the best possible option.

"Kenny?" You exhaled enthusiastically slipping your hand between your locks of (h/c) hair, reaching for the small black ear buds. "I'm so sorry I was wearing my headphones. What are you doing here?"

"Ahh just buying Kuchel's gift. You got me thinking you were trying to ignore me runt."

"I'd never, be-" You playfully punched his shoulder as he eyed you, a smirk appearing in his face quicker than you thought it would.

"Besides I'm your favorite uncle, right?" He spoke, completing your sentence. A deep sigh escaped his mouth as he rubbed his cold hands together, hoping to create enough friction to warm up his fingertips. "How long have you been waiting for the midget runt?"

You turned your dropping face away from his direction as the words fell off his mouth. Your heart gradually started throbbing inside your chest, the tight knot of anxiety was forming and coming undone in fragments of seconds as you stared at the white granite under your feet. Kenny must had taken a while to realise the chance of aura around you, a steady chuckle came out of him as he commented on Levi's meticulous routine of picking gifts for his friends.

"And why the long face?" Finally, he turned his attention to you "Did you have a fight?"

"Not exactly, we haven't fought in a long time." You admitted.

Kenny's gray eyes worried over you before squinting in another smiling manner. His palm came to playfully slap your upper back as he left out another loud chuckle of amusement. "I'm sure you two don't have many things to fight about. Kuchel is so enamored by that, how do you even manage with this brat (y/n)?"

"I don't... Not anymore at least."

Kenny's chuckle was cut short absurdly by your soft, mumbling voice. There was no way he hadn't heard what you had just said, he was just struggling to comprehend the context of your words. You claiming you weren't dealing with him anymore meant you weren't together anymore and Levi had deliberately kept this secret from him and Kuchel.

"Wait, you're not together? When did that happen?"

"Kenny" you paused, deciding to set your eyes onto him all while still avoiding his gaze. "It's almost been a year."

"What? Wait, why?"

"Levi and I, how do I put this in the shortest way possible, Kenny..." You sighed, bringing a finger to the side of your lips and biting the inside of your cheek as you tried your best to concentrate on your summing up skills. "He became distant, too engrossed with studying and shut himself off and I guess I just, I felt excited for something else. Levi felt excited for something else too."

That could make up for a quick summary, it could be enough to make Kenny understand the quick narration of you point of view. It was unnecessary to go into further details, such as how you had came closer with Eren throughout your group, or how Zeke had tried his best to convince you that he was right on the fact that Levi was growing more distant with each passing day, every time you'd open up to him about your problems.

More over, you couldn't possibly go into the lengths as to how quickly Levi had hit it off with Petra, proving Zeke's assumptions on the fact that maybe Levi was just tired of you.

"Shit. I'm sorry, if it helps, care to gossip on Levi's new item?" Kenny shifted his hands inside the pockets of his camel colored trench coat, rubbing circles on his upper thighs through the material of the pockets. "I'm dying to to know to what he moved on."

"Kenny! I don't do that!" You bit back and lowered your gaze as you instantly second guessed your statement. You contemplated on whether talking lowly about Petra is the right thing or not to do; she hadn't done anything wrong to you, she was just dating someone she liked while you were turning into their bitter, regretful ex. You couldn't possibly have the right to be jealous of her. But as you looked at Kenny's disapproving expression, you realised that maybe, just maybe, you were. "But I guess I'll show her to you!"

With a double tap your screen came to life, the familiar unlocking page bubbling as it urged you to fill your chosen password. Your fingers ran quickly on the familiar numbers; you've typed them one too many times already. You bit your lip in newfound anxiety as you awkwardly scrolled your social media folder, your fingers found the fuchsia camera icon automatically. With another tap your white Instagram homepage popped up, accommodating a picture of Mike and Nanaba's hands, each holding a carton cup. With a quick doubly tap you liked the picture and set your self the task of on swiping through the story icon features, quickly searching for Petra's familiar profile picture.

"Ah here you go." You finally spoke, breaking the silence as you found Petra's icon. Tapping on it once her newest story popped up. You set your finger on the screen again, keeping your tap locked in place to pause the flow of the story.

The picture depicted her standing before her mirror dressed in a white turtleneck layered with a powder blue plaid dress and topped with a black flap pocket woolen jacket. You could make the creative 'outfit of the day' mention on the bottom left corner, although you were unsure if Kenny cared enough about Petra's Saturday outfit. Plus, you didn't really need him to compare her sophisticated style to you.

"You know I can't really see her face, her phone is in the way."

You simply tapped over Petra's profile name as you sighed. Petra's feed appeared before your eyes, slowly loading all her highlights and posts. You gave your phone to Kenny next, deliberately choosing to look away and stay silent as he scrolled through the girls photos, curiously ogling at her for a few seconds.

"Ah runt," he spoke after sometime, his hands extending to give your phone back, "you ain't gonna stop being my favorite child, he'll come back around you know. He'll always love you, you have his heart and all that jazz."

Kenny tried his best to cut himself some slack from the awkwardness of the situation. Keyword; tried. As he sighed, his head spinner on what he could possibly say to you, he could exactly pinpoint if you needed to be reassured or comforted, or whether he was too late to be there for you.

There was something puzzling you, that was certainly written all over your face as you studied him. Your fingers were nervously mingling with eachother as you gripped on your phone, your hips shifting uncomfortably in the spot you sat. You were nervously thrusting around in your seat, that was much obvious to someone that knew you like Kenny did.

"He already did. But I'm not convinced he loves me, it's more like he has one more reason to hate me. We uhm we... You know, pfft, TMI Kenny, I'm sorry but I need to talk about this with someone."

"Shoot it!"

"We hooked up a well ago."

Oh shit, now that was new. Kenny's eyes widened in surprise as the words left your lips. His shifted himself enough to fully face you, his gray eyes worriedly meeting yours as you opened your mouth to explain. Words that were supposed to flow effortlessly ceased to exist as another, louder voice overshadowed your own.

"Zeke I swear I'll kill you if you- oh who's that (y/n)?"

You turned your head to the owner of the voice, your heart dropping the moment you met Eren's soft turquoise gaze. He stood there, clutching the small burgundy gift bag in his grip, as victorious smug adorned his features.

"Uh, finally you guys! This is Kenny Ackerman, he's," you paused, suddenly uncertain on how you should introduce Kenny to Eren and Zeke or whether you should introduce him to them at all.

"Levi's uncle." Kenny spoke, saving you from unnecessary fidgeting of information. He eyed Eren meticulously as his face slightly dropped in annoyance.

"I'm Eren Yeager, (y/n)'s friend and that's my brother, Zeke."

Eren smiled and extended his hand for a shake at Kenny's direction. Clicking his tongue, Kenny reluctantly gave his hand to the younger man before nodding knowingly in your direction. Eren didn't have to say anything else to prove Kenny he was halfheartedly trying to assert some dominance over you and although the older man tried his best to keep his laughter to himself, he got the message Eren was trying to convey.

Taking another breather to himself, Kenny picked his lips, allowing his face to fall into his usual stern expression.

"See you around (y/n)."

You laid on your couch, enthusiastically reading through a Greek epic you had burrowed from Hange a while back. Your hair dripped into the towel you had folded on the arm of the couch as you rested your head against it. You had wanted to slow down your thoughts before taking a change at blow drying your hair, there was a rage of overthinking going inside you that you refused to be left alone with.

You felt overly slow after your meeting with Kenny; the bath you had taken had done nothing to soothe down the wild nature of your thoughts, despite the fact that you had taken your time soaking in hot water and lavender oils.

The strangle fatigue you felt was feeling more indifferent with every passing second as you anxiously read bout Antigone's suicide, your heart was slowly being filled with grief as you though about her significant other, Heamon and how he could possibly react to her death. You were so enamored with the fact that Heamon was son to the king who had ordered Antigone's imprisonment that your eyes were ready to spill all the unshed tears that had gathered in the small corners of tender skin.

You set the epic down, burying your face between your palms as you let out a deep sigh. The air in the room felt heavy, you thought, thus you decided to get up from your couch and stroll around the room to reach for your hairbrush. Maybe now was the time to blow dry your head, your thoughts were completely off Kenny and Levi for the moment.

The sound of your doorbell startled you, though, making you freeze on your spot. You immediately unlocked your phone, hurriedly checking through your notifications for a sign on who it could be; it was rather unusual for someone to just visit you without having informed you about it beforehand.

Nontheless you marched over to the intercom, your finger shooting to press the metallic button to let your voice ring on the other side of the front door of your apartment building.

"It's Levi. I've got your jacket."

Panic run through you in throbbing waves. You simply stood there, feeling utterly and ridiculously puzzled with what you should do. You didn't know if you wanted to run down the front door and just grab the jacket on your own or if you just wanted to call Levi in. Grasping the situation seemed only fair, even in your panicked state you could admit you knew that much.

Your fingers immediately reached for the button underneath the one you were pressing causing a buzzing sound to ring through the intercom. You nervously opened your door and as on que, a few moments later Levi's frame emerged from the elevator doors, strolling to your direction, your black leather jacket neatly folded in his arms.

You wanted to speak, to greet him decently for once after all that time but you failed to find any prompt as to how to do that. Your mind felt at haze as you stared at him while he walked up to, the light from your apartment slowly illuminated his face more with every new step he took to its direction.

"Hey, sorry I came so suddenly, I'm on my way to the movies." He greeted, probing his head upwards to accentuate the action.

'Hey' you wanted to say, to establish some normal ground in your dynamics but still the words that left your mouth before you had enough time process what you wanted to say didn't exactly disappoint.

"Wanna come in?" The subtle look in your eyes as you fixated your orbs at his was at the very least, mesmerizing. If Levi was to describe it, he'd find himself quickly running out of sophisticatedly flavored academic words.

There was definitely a different kind of tention forming between the two of you. It was in the air, but whether it was caused by his own brain as he made the all too casual car ride to your place or by the way that you casually swayed your hair over your shoulder before prompting your head closer to him to speak up, he didn't know. All that he knew was that he was feelings his heart hammering in his chest as anxiety creeped in his stomach. The bold nature of his actions was having this profound effect on him and he'd be damned if he had to question himself one more time as to why he was in your doorstep now out of all times.

Still, your words somewhat lingered in his brain, despite almost falling deaf on his ears. His inability to pay attention to words was probably caused by his heart throbbing in his chest at witnessing this side of you.

"Sure" Levi found his mouth vomiting an answer.

You stepped aside, making room for him to entered the room as you gestured him to. Once he had walked in you closed the door behind you, your chest heaving in a despairately deep breath.

...

Did all kisses feel like that?

Your lips were soft and tender and tasting like burnt tobacco while Levi's were chapped dry and thus split, tinted in purple and tasting like dried blood. It was eeree to think about it, how it came to yours lips finding his once again or why it felt the way it did and why did it momentarily comfort you.

Your whole body was paralyzed with stress and agony; you couldn't move. The inability to speak caused by the burning guilt driven feeling inside your stomach was slowly taking a toll on how the rest of your internals liked to function. The efforts you were putting to regulate your breathing out of your nostrils were tainted and faint, as if not enough courage was laying underneath them and you hated it. You hated that your lungs were paralyzed like that under Levi's mouth on yours.

Maybe if you stopped existing or disappeared for just a moment everything would be normal when the next one came. Yet, things could never work like that and reality was always unforgiving to the actions you would decide to go for.

You still couldn't process how this had happened. One minute you were sat on your couch, angrily looking at each other as you spoke about how prohibited and dirty was what you had endulged in the previous week and the next your words had ceased to exist. His gray orbs had locked into yours, his breathing had quickened, much like yours, and your faces had been so close that your noses were almost touching.

You didn't know what had pushed you to act upon the tention in the air. Maybe it was your aching heart or Levi's eyes as they had begged you to kiss him. Now your own lips, in a similar way were begging him not to stop moving against yours.

Lost in your extravagant world of misery and heartache you didn't seem to realise that Levi's hand still hadn't left your cheek when you let out a long deep sigh escaped your mouth. Instantly though, with your brain acknowledging the moment and delving deeper into the reality of this situation, you jolted away, causing Levi to jump back on his tracks, as if he'd be electrocuted.

"Levi" you trailed off, softly mumbling the next words "I'm so sorry I did this, I should have known better."

Your heart was beyond hammering inside your chest; the cold dripping swear of anxiety had started to coat your palms and upper chest as he engulfed your lips again, this time much more gently. He gently tagged on your bottom lip, worrying it between his own lips. The mellow sounds of sucking filled the air as you tried to pull back, only to be attacked by his mouth every time.

Suddenly as you had just started melting under his hot touch on your waist, you heard what sounded as the most despicable sound that ever existed. Levi's phone buzzed in his pocket as it rang angrily, causing him to pull back from your face. The phone stopped ringing though, just before he could manage to swipe the answer button to the right, sending a huff of annoyance to leave him.

Petra's caller ID burned in his screen once again as his phone started ringing for the second time. This time, he hesitated to lick up. As he started at you apologetically his fingers trembled. He knew, eventually he would pick up the phone, judging by the time his phone read he was late to the very own screening he had decided to ask Petra to. Guilt formed in the back of his throat and he clicked his tongue to try and suck it up, even for a brief moment. With his finger on the acceptance button he turned to you again fixating his eyes at your bruised lips before he spoke.

"I have to go y/n I'm so sorry." He said and finally brought the phone to his ear. "Hey, I'm on my way, I had a mishap, I'll be there in ten, save a seat for me."

This all felt too familiar, once again you were forced into the third person's perspective, although this time you were fully aware of your intentions before and after the so called mishap.

"Listen, supposing you want this to work again we have to put an end to whatever else we have going on. I can't bear being the-"

"I know" he quickly cut you off, picking up his letter jacket from the pool it had formed around him as he hurriedly got up. "I'll call you alright? Have a good night." You blinked at him, not having enough time to utter a response as you watched him run to your door.

Your heart fell to your stomach as you stood frozen in your couch witnessing him exit your small apartment, not even bothering to look back.

You knew now that if Levi chose Petra your world was going to burn.

If you suffered along with my by reading one too many paragraphs in this chapter I'm sorry, thank you though for reading this fic in its entirety, please look forward to part 3 hehe, as always here are my tags: @ackermans-freedom-inc @sasageyowrites (my baby thank you for helping me SO much with this chapter I don't have enough words to explain how much I love you) @ladyofpandemonium @nobody-knows-anymore @levisbrat25 @papinaveensbitch @alrightberries

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman imagine #levi x reader #snk x reader #snk imagine #levi x reader imagine #aot #attack on titan #aot season 4 #snk season 4

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unwishablestars · 3 years

Text

amongst the waiting stars

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x f!reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.8k

Tags: Mutual Pining, SFW, Drunk Confessions, i tried my best

TWs: Mentions of alcohol intake

Summary: When Levi’s visits get more and more frequent how long until he’d have to admit he didn’t come for the coffee

A/N: this is the first fic I actually finished/properly wrote and I actually dont hate it, hopefully y’all don’t too :)

Wiping off the spilled coffee, restocking the pastries and cakes, it was a calm day for you and your co-workers. You felt a cool autumn breeze enter the room as you hear the door open and were greeted with a rather short man with a bored expression.

"Hello! Welcome to xxx, how may I help you?"

Greeting back with a simple hello, he proceeds to scan the pastries inside the case before he walks up to the counter to order tea and brownies.

With that slight intimidating atmosphere you found around him you didn't expect him to have such a sweet and simple order, emphasis on sweet, he didn't seem the type to order something as sweet as a brownie. Though, that being said, he did order a tea that was rather bitter.

"Can I have your name?" Holding the cup with a pen in hand.

"Levi"

"Alright thank you, Levi. Would you like your brownie reheated?" Asking with a soft and friendly smile "Yes, please."

After asking him to sit down you start to prepare his tea and brownie, approaching him with a black tray in your hand and his food on top of it.

"Please enjoy, Levi!" Setting the tray down and flashing him a little smile before leaving him be.

And that was it, you thought this was as close as you strangers could get.

--------------------

A week to 4 days to 3, he started coming by regularly. Nothing special really, he wasn't the only regular, but you sure as hell didn't expect to be able to talk to him as if you've been friends for ages.

You've memorized the way he likes his tea, you know he has a sweet tooth that he wouldn't admit he has and you know that type of coffee he likes when he needs to get through a lecture.

Every 3 days became 2 then daily, he was back again. You didn't know why but it seemed to excite you to see a familiar face, his familiar face, what didn't make sense was why him? Why was he so special?

Was it the way he openly admired your focused and quick work attitude, the way he would pleasantly chat to you about his life outside this café or those sweet little banters you two have when he enters and leaves the store.

For a man that didn't smile much, he sure was a treasure to have around.

Often enough for you to notice though, he always seemed to sit alone. Asking about it, he's never really responded with anything other than a:

"I'm waiting for someone."

You've never seen this someone. A friend perhaps? A date? Whoever it may be, they seem pretty rude to never show up even once.

Leaning on your arms over the counter to ask him "Waiting again?" Levi started sitting closer and closer to the counter just to make your conversations easier.

A slight pause was present before his answer "Yeah." "Is it the same someone as last time?" Thinking for a moment, "No, it's a different friend."

"Not that is any of my business, but it seems pretty rude for your friends to just never show up like this. You could wait for an hour or so and still not be pissed, gotta say that's pretty admirable."

"It's not a big deal. I mean, I'm stuck here waiting with you aren't I? It's not so bad."

He's right, I guess it wouldn't be so bad if you waited with him too.

"How smooth, Prince Charming." Despite your snarky remark you can't deny, it was nice hear that you made his wait bearable for him.

To the untrained eye, someone could see him as a stoic and quiet man, maybe even intimidating. But with trust and patience, he was sweet and compassionate, it could make your heart melt.

Taking as sip from his tea, presumably ignoring your little banter, you could've sworn you saw the softest smile accompanied with a little blush.

I wouldn't mind waiting with you.

--------------------

Nearing the end of the year, a cool breeze can now be present everywhere. Malls, stores and homes turning on their heaters to help with the growing cold.

Leaving his building wearing a stylish grey coat, already on his way to his personal sanctuary, his thoughts were interrupted with a loud and high:

"LEEEEVIIII"

Turning around he was met with a very much energetic Hange Zoe, stopping in his tracks to see what they have to say. "On your way already? Excited to see your sweetheart?" They said, smirking with a deeper intent than to tease.

Levi's friends were more attentive than he had thought, it didn't take a while for them to realize that he'd been leaving the campus in a slight rush. It also didn't take them long to start guessing what else he could possibly have better to do other than sit in the library or go home immediately.

"She's not my sweetheart." He absolutely wishes though, liar. With Hange and his friends bombarding him with questions like "What's she like?" "Is she pretty?" "Are you going to make the 1st move?" It left butterflies in his stomach. The thought of a confession made his stomach twirl, even if it didn't show on his face.

He often thinks about when that perfect opportunity would arise or even if something like that exists, he'd love to win your heart over and have you in his arms. The thought of you spending your days together, official, made his heart swell, yours too. But how could he possibly ask you out? Who the hell was he to you?

"Right, of course she's not.." Hange responding quickly, stretching out the 'right' to emphasis her suspicion. "Then in that case, you should invite your 'friend' to our little gathering before we leave!" They said with a smug yet genuinely joyful expression on their face, nudging his arm to the suggestion.

"Why would I want to do that?" Levi said plainly. His friends had decided to eat out and drink together at a spot not too far from the campus.

This way they could somewhat spend their holidays together before they actually have to leave for the holidays to see their families. Including Levi, who had planned to spend it with his mother (and uncle).

"Aww c'mon, don't be like that! One of you have got to make a move sooner or later. Plus, wouldn't it be sweet for her to know that you'd been thinking about her?" They argue, thinking about it, he decides to comply.

Already walking off "Fine. Just don't follow me." "Aw but I wanna see her!" "Too bad." They follow him anyway "I'll just wait outside then! Then I'll leave once I know you've asked her!"

Clicking his tongue in agreement, they both head their way to the little café he was ever so familiar with.

-------------------

It was a busier day than usual. Though, it's to be expected due to the cold weather. It just makes people want to sit down and drink their coffee or hot cocoa, warming up their systems.

As you give the last customer in line their coffee, you hear the door open. Looking up to welcome them in, seeing who it was, a brighter smile was presented, almost as if it was an instinct.

Walking up to the counter Levi was understandably nervous, he even considered bailing on the idea now that he's here. But seeing your bright excited smile as he entered the door kept him in motion.

"Levi! Having a nice evening?" A tug at the corner of his lips made your heart pound, "Yeah." Cutting his answer short, his mind too busy to think on how he should pop the question.

"What is today?" "My usual coffee, take out, please." Nodding and grabbing a cup, you start making his usual. Looking back at Hange, they gesture him to stop stalling. You catch him looking out the door to see a tall individual with glasses.

"Is that the friend you've been waiting for all these days?" Your smile lightly calming down "O-oh no.. they're actually.." stopping himself in his tracks, air getting caught in his throat.

"I actually wanted to ask you something." "Oh? What is it?" Your attention shifting to him. "My friend.. And I wanted to ask you- if you'd like to join us for a gathering we're having. W-we'll be eating out together before we leave for the holidays." Not knowing where his eyes should look, he didn't look up until he finished his question.

Seeing your face, visibly shocked but not displeased, a bit flushed. Your eyes soften at that thought, he wanted you to come with? To spend time with you? You couldn't hold back your soft and sweet smile at his offer, what would be the point? Hiding your joy would be pointless.

Taking a look at your face, your initial reaction to the soft look you gave him. He was growing confident, maybe this wouldn't end up blowing up in his face and ruining his relationship with you.

Until your facial expression showed a bit of annoyance, a customer had fallen in line behind Levi with her kid. While the kid seemed rather patient, taking a look at the cakes in the display the mother look impatient and annoyed. "Uh- I'm sorry, Levi. Could you stand over there for a moment" gesturing to the end of the counter "I'll get your coffee ready in a minute."

With that, worry immediately washed over him. Did he say something wrong? Was he too straightforward? Did he mess up? He does as you ask and step aside, too occupied with his thoughts to realize that small flash of annoyance was in no way meant for him.

After dealing with the lady and her daughter, you walk over to Levi, his freshly made cup of coffee. "Sorry about that.. here, your coffee." Seeing his worried expression you give him a reassuring smile, your hand lingering on his as you hand him his coffee.

"Thank you so much for the invitation, Levi. That's very sweet of you." Your face showed a light flush. "It's a really busy day so- don't throw away the cardboard cup sleeve, I don't want to stop this here.." still a small bit stuck in his thoughts, he replies, "A-alright.. Thanks." Giving him another reassuring smile he heads his way to the door meeting up with the friend still outside.

"Looked like it went well!" Hange said joyfully as Levi left the café. "I don't know.. maybe it wasn't the best day to ask her, she seemed occupied." He doubtfully thought, "Huh? She seemed pleased! What are you talking about? Plus, she wrote something on your cup didn't she?" They noted in a curious tone, pointing at his cup.

Catching his attention, he takes a look at his cup and they were right, there was something written on the cup sleeve:

"I'd love to ♡ text me the details!"

was written in black marker followed by your number.

A visible yet faint blush was spread across Levi's face. He hadn't mess up, you don't hate him, you wanted to spend time with him. "Aha! See! Isn't this great?" Hange said enthusiastically, interrupting Levi's train of thought.

"..Yeah"

I'd love to♡

Yeah, this is great.

--------------------

Standing outside by the entrance of your building you stood there waiting for Levi. Having talked about it beforehand you both had decided he would just pick you up and walk with you to a small KBBQ place, just a few minutes away from the campus.

Levi wasn't the biggest fan of smelling smoke as he ate but compared to the rest of the 'cook-it-yourself' places around, this place had better ventilation, a cleaner surrounding and a decent price.

[6:03pm] Levi: Just stay by the entrance inside your building. I'm almost there.

Y/n: Alright! :)

[6:04pm] Levi: Be safe.

He's so sweet.

The weather was nice this evening. It was calm, and the wind wasn't unbearably cold, it was nice. Seeing a familiar figure across the street turning the corner, you face showed excitement as Levi lightly waved seeing you by the door.

Exiting your building you meet with Levi outside the doors, greeting him with a smile "Lead the way!" softly smiling back at you he starts to walk, making sure you're close to him. "It's not far, stay close.. okay?"

Matching his pace to stay close to him, you walk together in tranquility, engaging in peaceful conversations, asking about how they'll spend their break. It all felt natural, makes you wish that KBBQ place wasn't just 20 minutes away.

--------------------

Nearing the restaurant you see the silhouette of a tall, blonde man standing by the entrance. As both of you walk up to him, he greets you with a friendly smile and wave.

"Hello, you must be Y/n, right? I'm Erwin, It's nice to finally meet you." He greets to which to you reply "It's nice to meet you too!" he must be one of Levi's friends who would join us- stopping your thoughts you think back to what he said:

"..nice to finally meet you."

Finally? Has Levi been talking about you? You felt a light blush at the thought, thinking about me? It was nice to think that he'd be thinking about you, after all, you'd been thinking of him too.

"Follow me, we already have a table." Walking inside gesturing for both of you to join, Erwin leads you to a reserved table. Seated at the table were 4 people, one of which you've seen outside the café, the day Levi invited you to eat out with his friends.

As you approach the table you were quickly greeted with hello's and nice to meet you's. Sitting down next to next to the familiar face, they introduced themselves.

"It's nice to see you again! I'm Hange!" "Oh yeah, you were standing outside the café that day, why didn't you come in?" you asked out of curiosity, "Oh I promised Levi I'd wait for him outside while he asked you out!" They gladly explained, lowering their volume to just about a whisper to continue "Y'know.. I was the one who suggested to invite you, Levi can be quite a shy one." They smirked which followed a chuckle.

Looking over at Levi to see some sort of confirmation. All you saw cute pink blush that ran across his face, him looking forward to either avoid eye contact or pretend like he didn't hear, either way, it was adorable.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you! I'm Nanaba, this is Miche and that's Moblit." Nanaba had introduced going down the line.

"It's nice to meet you all." you simply said, "though.. I can't help but notice, it doesn't seem like you guys extended the invitation to anyone else. Why extend it to me?" as much as you enjoyed sitting here with Levi and his friends you couldn't help but wonder why, couldn't help but want to know it straight, said to your face.

"Because we want to get to know you." Levi admittedly explains, though he feels he wants to get to know you more than anyone else here. His friends nodding in agreement, some smirking at both yours and Levi's oblivious interactions.

Clinking your glasses filled with alcohol the night went on filled with laughter and nonsense. You kept your alcohol intake low knowing you'd obviously still need to go home and you'd rather go home walking than slumping on some poor person's shoulder.

As minutes to hours pass by, sharing stories that brought out laughter which rang around the room. Soon enough it was nearing midnight and some of you were a bit tipsy, some more than others, though you kept yourself your little promise of not going home a blackout drunk.

You weren't drunk but you were tipsy enough to be not be embarrassed if you were to spill some truth about your feelings. After the bill was paid, stuff gathered, and as they walk their way to the door Hange proposes an idea to Levi.

"Y'knowww.. Y/n would really appreciate it if you walked her home.. can't let anything happen to her ya'know.." Clicking his tongue at the smell of alcohol in their breath "What? Did you think I was just gonna let her walk home alone? It's almost 11."

Miche budges in abruptly "Is that why you barely drank?" clearly to tease the man. Overhearing the conversation without really thinking you cling onto his arm "I'm not that tipsy.. but I'd love the company.." a light pink was present across your cheeks, you couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the blatant confession.

"Even if you were completely sober, I'd still walk you home." He'd love to.

--------------------

There were lots of stars out, nice view. The cool breeze, the bright moon, it was all so beautiful. "When are you gonna leave..?" Catching his attention, "Hm?" "to visit your mom?" you weren't exactly sure why you wanted to know, he did say he was coming back, maybe you just didn't want the night to end yet.

"Tomorrow. I'll be leaving in the morning, why?" he asked back, "Nothing.. just curious." Looking up you see the moon in that navy blue sky, it gave you an idea. Walking into your building you were still gripping his arm, not as tight as when you were out on the street but you didn't exactly plan on letting go just yet.

"Do you mind staying for a bit?" Embarrassed to ask but you did anyway. Taken aback "What? Why? Are you not feeling well?" he asks with a flustered and concerned tone. "No it's not.. you don't have to- I just.." you could feel the alcohol help you speak the truth "..wanna spend more time with you."

It felt like his brain stopped for a moment, did she just..?, but in reality it was racing with thoughts to the point where he didn't even notice. Scared of his silence you ditch the idea just as quick as you proposed it, practically interrupting yourself. "Sorry- sorry, I didn't mean to be- I didn't mean it like that-" apologies and explanations start to leave your mouth all at the same time.

"No, it's alright. I-I know what you meant.. I don't mind." holding back his stutters fairly well the blush spreading towards his ears were as evident as ever. "What? Really?" thank god he didn't take it the wrong way, "Tch," avoiding eye contact and walking toward the elevators "you want my company or not?" "Very much.."

On your way up to your room there was a sense of familiarity and comfort, even though the signs of success were there, you weren't exactly sure what you were so nervous about. Maybe you were sobering up quicker than you thought, it's not all bad though.. You didn't exactly want him to just deal with you drunk, you didn't want him to see you that way.

--------------------

Taking out your keys, opening the door and letting both of you in, you turn on the light and offer him a drink as you open your fridge "Sit down, do you want anything to drink?" "How the hell would I know what's in your fridge?" He says dryly

"Heh- that's fair, hot cocoa then?" Giving a simple nod at your offer you take out two mugs and start to warm up some milk. "Sorry it's just hot cocoa mix and milk." You apologize for no apparent reason other than to avoid the awkward silence.

"That's fine, how do you think I make my hot cocoa?" he asks sarcastically, "with fresh cocoa beans fresh from the tree" you retort jokingly, laughing a little. Surprisingly, he giggles along, making your heart flutter.

Looking at the clock as you pour the milk into the powder, 11:27pm, you interrupt the silence once again with an apology "Sorry.. I know you have you leave in the morning.." you remind yourself as you add a few marshmallows to your cups, walking up to him to give him his drink, "Why do you keep apologizing? I meant it when I said I wanted to be here." He reminds you as he takes the cup out of your hands, unable to hold back a smile the tension on your shoulders loosen, relaxing at his remark.

"If it doesn't bother you.." grabbing the blankets off the couch and opening the window "the nights beautiful.. and the view is better on the roof.." seeing the confusion on his face, you explain in a simple manner "don't worry, it'll be quick and the roof's actually pretty clean. Stargazing on the roof is actually pretty calming."

Trusting your rather odd offer you set your mugs on the counter next to the window to easily step out onto the fire escape. Once both of you had exited you grab both your mugs through the window and head up the steps leading to the roof

"Y'know I didn't expect having to climb out a window today." "Honestly I didn't expect to be stargazing with you, but it's not so bad is it?" "No, no it's not."

--------------------

Reaching the roof you set 1 of the blankets down to avoid sitting directly on the roof.

Sitting down you pat the spot next to you asking him to sit down, doing as you request, he settles beside you holding onto his hot cocoa for warmth "The second blanket is for us, no secret that it's gonna get chilly." You explained, casually wrapping it around both of you, what a bold move.

You smile at him, showing fulfillment and joy. The smiled you both see around each other always show honesty, such a simple gesture can convey so much. Now under the moonlight, snuggled together close, his heart couldn't handle how lovely it felt. You could've sworn you saw his eye water a little, that or the light of the moon glistened brighter than usual.

Looking up at the stars, admiring their light and formations, sipping on your warm drink, the air in your lungs start to lock up. Exhaling a breath you didn't know you were keeping in, the comfortable silence was broken with emotions put into words.

"Other than a ball of fire a huge distance away, do you think they can be anything else?"

"I don't know." he answered with simplicity and honesty.

"You ever wonder how long the stars have been here?"

"Not really, I don't look up at the sky that often. But I'm sure they've been here for a while."

Say it.

"I'd happily wait a billion years to see you."

Taken by surprise, he swings his head to take a look at you.

"..whether it be coming to the café, picking me up, coming home from a trip or seeing you in another life. I'll be here, waiting for you to come home. You wouldn't ever have to second guess it, because I'll be here, loving every second of it."

Looking up at him, to pour your heart out. "Because every second of it, I'll be loving you."

Letting out a shaky breath, holding you closer, softly yet firmly holding onto your hand, letting out the simple truth.

"That and so much more is the reason why I can say: I love you too."

#levi ackerman #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #aot x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #anime #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x you #attack on titan #first fanfic #sfw post #aot modern au

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angelanimedesaray · 3 years

Text

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 12: The Caged Bird

AN: ....I feel like this went by really fast, but CLEARLY it did not, considering this is almost 13000 words and I STILL ended up splitting it into two parts...but I still feel like it happened SO FAST!!! And that worries me...for reasons that will become obvious, cause you all know I want to try and handle sensitive topics properly, and I don’t like the thought I might have rushed through this....

Characters: Levi, Reader, Roy (Original Character), Furlan, Reader’s Father, Various BG Characters

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Warnings: Language, Violence, Injuries, Blood, Threats of Death, Peril, (SPOILER) Abusive Relationships, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Mentions of Past Violence, Mentions of Past Abuse, Allusions to Abuse. NOTE (Also a spoiler): If you’re worried that the actual trauma/effects of abuse wasn’t properly handled, most of that is coming in the next part. This part is dealing with the ESCAPE of abuse, dealing with the event/aftermath itself is the next part.

Word Count: 12558

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

(Gif found HERE)

(Four Years Later)

*Levi’s POV*

“Levi--I found something you might appreciate. It was tucked away at the bottom of this crate--I think someone was trying to hide it.”

Levi came over to where Furlan was going through one of the three crates they’d managed to snag in a riskier heist earlier today, taking the tin Furlan was offering him and checking the label. Tea. High end stuff, too. Normally he’d celebrate by instantly taking it for himself, but considering where it was hidden and the size of the payload, he was a little worried. What the hell was it doing tucked into the bottom of one of these crates?

“You don’t think these crates--or at least this one--were going to any of the big shots down here, do you?” Furlan asked, a serious look in his eyes.

Levi set the tin aside for the time being, resolving to take it for himself if they decided it was safe to keep the crates. “Keep looking. If there’s nothing particularly dangerous or valuable in here, we might be able to avoid trouble so long as we sell the goods fast,” Levi rationalized.

“And if there is?”

“Ditch the crates with the high risk stuff and let it be someone else’s problem,” Levi said flatly, crouching back down in front of the crate he’d been looking for, seeing if there was anything else they should keep for themselves.

Finding a friend down here had certainly been...unexpected, and at first Furlan had followed him around like an overly eager puppy, wanting to follow after Levi when Levi turned down following him. They’d been working together for almost two years now, and Levi was finally comfortable being around the other young man, the two of them working well together on the heists they pulled to pool their money together--both to survive, and to save up enough money to buy citizenship on the surface and at least a starting place to live, even if it was just one room. The main goal was getting topside, where they started out living didn’t matter much--improvements could be made after they were up under open sky instead of underground.

Open sky…Crystal blue or dark as ink with thousands of stars burning above, or a cloudy grey with swirls of snow falling to coat the world below. It had been four years, but he still remembered every detail, from the freezing air against his cheeks or droplets of rain sliding down his upturned face, the sound of snow crunching beneath his feet or a roll of thunder in the distance, a warm hand in his or a flash of a brilliant smile framed by soaked hair.

His fingertips patted out the piano keys to a song, the light tapping audible, but no musical sound to accompany it except his memory of the times he’d practiced it with her.

“You’re timing something in your head before you try it?” Furlan abruptly guessed. Levi stopped his tapping, but otherwise didn’t react, shifting through a bolt of fabric in the crate to see if anything was concealed in it.

“No,” he answered bluntly, and Furlan sighed before going back to what he was doing.

He’d been trying to guess what that tick of Levi’s was since he first saw Levi do it, and he so far hadn’t guessed. He probably wouldn’t, either, but it was amusing to watch him try sometimes.

Even if he guessed right by some miracle, Levi wouldn’t tell him. That time...that time was a memory for him. Those little pieces of music some of the only things he could take with him to remember her by, besides the memories themselves. It was why he still practiced in the dirt and open air, or against his leg or whatever he happened to be holding at the time, why he still tried to remember the sound and the pattern after all this time.

Sometimes, if he let his focus drift away from the present, he could almost feel her hands against his.

Levi let the old ache persist for a few more moments, holding the memories at the front of his mind before he reminded himself it did him no good to dwell on what was unreachable to him now. At least when he was supposed to be focused on something else. The dwelling was meant for the quiet moments he was left to himself, or while he stayed up with nothing but his insomnia and the memories to keep him company.

After the first two, three years of not going back, he’d resigned himself to the reality that his worst fear regarding his visits to her world had finally happened. One day the visits had simply stopped, and he had to find a way to move on from the brief glimpses into a better world he’d been given, the door appearing to be fully shut and sealed to him now, with Y/N on the other side.

He hoped she was all right, wherever she was now. He hoped she got into that college she’d wanted to go to despite everyone telling her she couldn’t make it. He hoped she got far away from that town, but she was still in close contact with her family. He hoped she found more friends, that she was able to build up a comfy lifestyle by now. Or at the very least, was well on the way there by now.

He knew how hard that could be, but at least she’d started well above where he was at now. He had longer and farther to climb.

He just wished it could have been to where she lived.

“All right, I don’t see anything with too much heat on it in here. What about you?” Furlan asked.

Levi sighed, eyes roaming over the contents he’d been shuffling through while he spaced out with a much sharper eye, looking for anything he might consider a red flag item.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He was usually so focused, he was almost embarrassed how much his memories were sweeping him away and bringing his mind elsewhere right now.

Opening his eyes, Levi was determined to focus and make sure him and Furlan didn’t accidentally bring home anything that was going to be more trouble than it was worth.

The crate was gone. And his hand was hovering just above a dull beige carpet, the light much brighter than it had been a few moments ago, and artificial instead of the usual firelight he was used to.

Levi’s breath had caught, and he held very still, as if afraid the slightest movement might shatter the reality around him. A slight stretch forward, and he could feel the sponginess of the carpet in front of him, which confirmed that what he was seeing was real.

Heart pounding, Levi turned his head to look around him, taking in the sight of a small house, fairly sparse, lots of flat and dull colors, a few cracks in the walls, and he was pretty sure there was a picture strategically placed on the wall to hide a hole. He was standing in a hallway with an open archway behind him and what looked like a back door at the end of the hall, stairs just off to the side in the same direction leading to a second story. He turned enough to see a small dining room behind him with a simple table and two chairs, and just around the corner must have been the kitchen. And from there, he could hear movement.

Y/N...?

Levi got to his feet slowly, his steps careful and quiet just in case he was wrong. He crept towards the kitchen, heartbeat rapid in his ears as he peeked around the corner, hand pressed lightly against the wall.

There she was, standing at a stove in this tiny little kitchen, bent over two pots as she cooked something to eat, a recipe book open just off to her left to give instructions on how to make whatever it was she was focused on.

She hadn't noticed him yet, and he had to swallow a sudden wave of complicated emotions at seeing her again, the most predominant of which was joy and longing. It had been four long years. He was only praying the universe wouldn't be cruel again and separate them before he had time to say something to her.

Well then, he shouldn't be standing here gawking like an idiot if he didn't want that to happen. He needed to say something--anything.

"Y/N?" He managed to get himself to say, tone making it sound like a question, the word feeling strange but reverent falling from his lips after so long not uttering them.

She jumped at the sudden voice, turning with wide eyes to see who had spoken, then freezing like a deer who'd just made eye contact with a predator. Her shock lasted a few moments, neither one of them daring to move and break the illusion before she spoke, the wooden spoon falling from her hands with a clunk into the water and against the metal rim of the pot.

"Levi?" She asked, voice breathless and small as she stared at him, eyes drinking him in as she took two hesitant steps forwards before she suddenly barreled towards him, hands clutching the front of his shirt as she buried her head in his chest.

There was a sharp intake of breath from both of them at the contact. Levi because he'd expected excitement, but not her throwing herself into his arms and...his shirt was damp, was she crying? Not to mention it had been years since someone touched him like this--he'd started to forget how he was supposed to react, how he wanted to react.

As for Y/N, the contact was when she breathed in and held it, the confirmation that he was real. She might have been trying to stem the flow of tears as well.

"Oh my God, you're real. It's been so long since…" she swallowed, a shaken laugh leaving her as she pulled back, looking up at his startled features. “I didn’t think you were ever going to come back! Where have you been? How have you been? How are you here now?”

Those tears were still in her eyes, and she was throwing herself at him with unrestrained...ambition? Passion? He was rusty reading her moods, so he couldn’t quite pinpoint what she was feeling, especially while she was still teary and still recovering from the shock of seeing him again.

She pulled away completely, seeming to realize how emotional she was getting right now as she wiped her eyes with her wrists, trying to regain her composure. “I’m sorry, I-I’m overwhelming you, aren’t I? Sorry, one question at a time…” she said with a nervous laugh.

“Are you all right?” Levi asked in mild concern. There had been far more waterworks than he’d expected in that reunion, and it made him worry.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, I just...I really didn’t think I was going to see you again,” she said in a tiny voice.

“Neither did I,” Levi admitted. Now that he was here, and the awkwardness was settling over them…

The last time they’d seen each other, he’d kissed her. And now it had been four years. Was it even relevant even more? Was it even something he should bring up? Probably not right away, maybe save it until a little further into the day.

Levi looked around at the dull-looking house around him, the slightest pull of a frown starting to appear on his features. Now that he was looking...there was no piano. No splashes of color or personal touches, no scattered magazines or little projects she was working on. He’d always felt the places she lived were warm and personal, cozy, comfortable. This place was...indifferent and impersonal. Worn down, even. The cracks along the walls, the low-end furnishings...it reminded him of the Underground, and that didn’t sit well with him.

“You moved again,” he commented, eyes still moving around the surroundings.

“Yeah. I moved out for college, so no living with my parents anymore. They’re both...in different states now. Mom’s still in the same state as before with my stepdad and little sibling, and my dad’s a little closer, but still quite a ways away, and in another state as well...It’s a new area, though. Northwest--very northwest. It’s…” She seemed to struggle not to say dreary, settling instead on simply saying, “it rains a lot.”

Levi’s frown only grew. “I thought you said that school you were trying so hard to get into was out on the east coast?” Levi asked observantly, studying her closely. She turned away, but not before Levi caught a flash of pain in her eyes as she tried to feign that she was reminded of the food on the stove and was trying to focus on it.

“Yeah...but, ah...plans changed,” she said quietly.

Levi’s eyes narrowed at something in her tone he couldn’t pinpoint, but he certainly didn’t like it. “Plans change? Did you not get accepted?”

“I did.”

“Then it was too expensive.”

“No, I had a full ride, it was all completely paid for, nothing out of pocket.”

“Was it not what you expected?”

“It just didn’t work out,” she said much sharper than Levi had been anticipating, agitated by Levi poking at the subject trying to figure out what exactly had changed. “I don’t want to talk about it, Levi,” she said softly, body language stiff and closed off.

What happened in the four years he was gone? What had he missed? And why was she so...different? She didn’t feel like the same girl who’d pulled him into a rainstorm and drove him out to a hayfield simply to look at the stars, who’d marveled at snow and ice right with him and pulled him into so many different situations without hesitation, no reservations, just pure energy and happiness.

Now that he stepped back and looked at her, really took a moment to feel the energy in the room and take the time to get a proper read on her once the excitement of being back started to fade...she wasn’t bright, she was dulled. She was withdrawn and reserved, hesitant and quiet, a slight hunch to her shoulders, hiding her face.

What the hell happened? And why had he missed it?

She sighed over where she was bent over her food, and Levi felt himself rapidly withdrawing inside himself, kicking himself for thinking this was going to be even a modicum of what it used to be. His gaze was turned away, expression going from the worried frown and maybe a spark of hurt in his eyes that she cut him off so sharply to his usual indifferent expression in the silence that hung in the room. He suddenly became painfully aware of a distance that seemed to be yawning between them, four years of distance, so much apparently happening and he had no idea what besides college “didn’t work out” for reasons unknown.

And the last he’d seen, she’d been desperate to crawl out of the place she was living and get to the east coast. Instead she ended up in this dump on the complete other side?

“What about you? Are you still underground?” she asked, her tone suddenly normal and casual, though something about it felt insincere, like it was a front. Maybe not the question itself, it sounded like she genuinely wanted to know what had happened with him the past four years, but the casualness, the appearance that everything was fine--that was what felt false.

“Yeah,” he said shortly, watching as she moved away from the food to reach for the glasses in one of the cabinet and fill them with tap water, offering one to Levi, who left it sitting on the table beside him as he chose instead to watch her closely, his steely blue gaze following her every move and expression.

“Okay...I know you didn’t really talk much about what your life is like, but...is there anything you can tell me about it? How you’ve been, how you’re doing?”

“Only if you tell me how you’ve been in return,” Levi countered quickly. She looked away uncomfortably, going to open the fridge and fish around for the milk. As the door drifted further open, Levi’s gaze zoned in on the collection of brown bottles that clinked as she moved them aside to get to a small container of milk in the back. Whether it was his world or another, beer seemed universally recognizable. And there was a lot stocked in that fridge.

“I didn’t know you drank,” Levi said, his expression and tone as unreadable as he could manage, gaze fixated on her. She quickly shut the door, milk in hand as she headed over to the pots again to add a little milk to one of them.

“I don’t--those aren’t mine,” she said briefly.

“Whose are they, then?” Levi asked before she could try to direct the conversation back towards him. He didn’t want to talk about all his thievery and fights in the Underground, anyway. He wanted to know what had changed...everything, so drastically.

And if those weren’t her beer bottles, what were they doing in her fridge, and whose were they?

She was ignoring him, it seemed, choosing not to answer, her back to him so he couldn’t see her face once more.

“Y/N…” Levi started to say, the worry seeping into his tone this time as a rumble outside grew louder, and for a second, Levi thought that it was raining outside and he just hadn’t bothered to look out a window. Y/N, however, stiffened, then swore, abandoning what she was to suddenly start pushing him down the hall.

“Quick, out the back,” she said frantically.

“What? Why?” Levi asked, thrown off as the rumble got loud enough to be coming from just outside before abruptly ending.

“Because it looks really, really bad that I’m home alone right now with another guy--just, just--down the street to the intersection, take a left, then a right, another left, wait for me by the store that says Wal-Mart on Kensington Avenue, I’ll come as soon as I can get away, okay?”

“Y/N--”

“Just go!” she said sharply in a hiss, pointing towards the back door by the stairs he’d noticed earlier as she disappeared through another door towards the front door, straightening her long sleeve shirt and nervously brushing hair from her face before she vanished from his sight, Levi hesitantly creeping towards the back door even though he had no idea why he had to flee so suddenly when he never had to before.

As Levi quietly opened the back door, he heard conversation faintly from the living room.

“You’re home early, darling. I’ve almost got dinner ready, just a little longer. Let me get that for you…”

Levi paused with his hand still on the doorknob, even though he knew she might be trying to buy him time to slip out the back. But hearing that--darling, home, the beer in the fridge, her comment about being home alone with another guy--

Suddenly he felt like some kind of secret lover being smuggled out the back window. And it bothered him far more than he wanted to admit, the thought of being the other man, even if as far as he knew they were still just friends, considering their kiss had been years ago. She had every right to move on, and he had no right to be jealous. It shouldn’t bother him, he shouldn’t expect her to stay single when neither of them expected to see the other again.

But it still bothered him.

Before he could cause any drama between the two, Levi did as he was asked, shutting the door quietly behind him and hopping the fence of the back yard to sneak out to the street out front. There was an unnecessarily high off the ground truck out front that must have been the source of the rumble sound. Levi spared it a glance before taking a look up at the murky skies up above, a gloominess seeming to hang over the area that seemed like a conglomeration of small, thin houses in various states of disrepair, messy front lawns, cracked pavement…

Levi hesitated in front of the sidewalk, a bad feeling stirring in his gut as he stared back at the house. Nothing about this felt right to him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be here. Yeah, he knew life was shitty, but she’d always made it...brighter. There was nothing bright or warm about this place, and what little conversation they’d had so far left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, her sudden (At least, sudden to him) shift in attitude and demeanor was disconcerting, and he was worried about her.

The chill in the air, however, turned his attention away from the house she didn’t want him inside right now and back towards the street in front of him, mind shifting to finding the location she’d mentioned in the hopes he could find a warmer spot. He wasn’t exactly dressed for a cold breeze, since he was below ground where he lived and currently didn’t have to worry about that kind of thing.

He followed her instructions until he ended up outside a grey and blue building, standing on the sidewalk near the sign that had the street name on it, on the end closest to the direction her place was. He wanted to make sure she could see him when she came, so he stayed outside, even though he was worried it would be a while since she’d mentioned she was making dinner for her and...whoever that was.

Levi sulked, his expression darkening as he stared at the ground, trying desperately not to think about their relationship. Clearly it was further than just dating, they were living together. Were they married? Was she happy with him?

He wouldn’t think so, given her attitude change and the look of the run down house, but who was he to judge? How would he know? He’d been gone for four years, and clearly a lot had changed. Plans for college out the window, she was far from family, she was living in a place that reminded him of Underground houses...It was fucked up how the man’s truck looked more expensive than the house. Wouldn’t you spend more money on where you lived, not your mode of transportation? Y/N had owned a car that was reliable--it wasn’t shiny with a fresh pain of coat, she’d mentioned it was an older car, but it was reliable...and he noticed it wasn’t out front. There was no second car, just the truck.

Is she okay? Is she really okay with this? Is this really what she wants to be doing?

Time continued to stretch by, time that Levi spent simply standing by a street sign waiting for someone who still wasn’t showing up. He was starting to freeze up over here, and while he’d expected it to be a bit of a wait, this was getting a little too long. He was starting to get anxious that he’d spend whatever little time he had here trying to get her.

Just as he started to think to hell with it, he would head back to the house anyway and knock on the front door, she finally appeared on the other side of the street, fiddling with her long sleeves to pull them down again and with a scarf tied neatly around her neck, cheeks flushed and breathing a little heavy like she ran over here. She crossed quickly to reach him, a flicker of that old fire of hers in her eyes as she smiled shyly at him, coming to a stop in front of him.

“Sorry I made you wait,” she said timidly, though she offered no explanation as to why it took so long. “What?” she asked self-consciously, fixing the scarf when she realized he was staring at her with an odd look.

“Why the scarf?” he asked. This was the same girl who rolled around and played in the snow with him without a scarf, leaving it stuffed in her pocket after it kept falling off in all the roughhousing. And that hadn’t been just because they were kids and they didn’t know better or care--this had been four years ago. She hadn’t cared about now sneezy the cold might make her, and she hadn’t cared to even wear the scarf loosely thrown around her neck when she /did/ wear it. Yet now that it was a little nippy out, she wore a scarf tied so neatly around her neck like a second skin, but nothing else? No coat, no hat, no gloves?

She shrugged. “It’s not too bad out--I just wanted something to keep my neck and cheeks warm on the way here.”

Yet the scarf wasn’t pulled high enough to cover her cheeks. Just her neck.

Maybe he was just over analyzing because he was worried about her...

Before he could question her again, she started forward, cutting across a brief green space to head towards the store, pulling briefly on his sleeve before letting go and keeping her hands to herself.

“Come on, let’s get inside where it’ll be warmer. I snuck a twenty, so we should be able to treat ourselves to something. I’d say ice cream for the good old days, but I don’t think the weather’s fitting for that,” she said sheepishly, prattling away. Once more, it didn’t feel quite as natural as it should have been. It felt force, purposeful to distract him. Like she was putting all her effort into putting up a front as she led him through the doors.

What gave it away was her inability to stop talking. Even before, she’d known when to stop and let the silence speak for itself, when to give Levi a chance to talk. She wasn’t doing that right now, prattling on about the store being a chain store found all over the place, talking about how normally the outdoor section they walked through was filled with plants in the spring and summer but they had been put away or pulled inside for the fall and winter seasons, how you could find a general collection for most needs here--whatever came to mind as they walked, she droned on and on about, like it was a nervous tick.

Eventually, when it was just them at the end of an aisle with no one around and he’d listened to the meaningless prattle for a good fifteen, twenty minutes, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he lightly grasped her arm to bring her to a stop. She flinched slightly at the sudden contact, words stuttering to a halt as Levi’s gaze burned into hers.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her bluntly. She forced a smile, and it sickened him, made his heart sink. Was this the same girl who’d gotten him to open up and show her some of the broken pieces he kept hidden inside himself? The same girl who’d vented and cried into his shoulder before? Who was at least honest with him before if something was bothering her, simply telling him if it was something she’d rather not talk about, but giving in if it was something she should talk about. Who was this stranger in front of him, thinking forced smiles and lies would convince him that she was fine here.

“Nothing’s wrong--” she started to say, the answer rehearsed and the most false she’d given him yet.

“Don’t pretend. Not with me. It’s insulting,” Levi cut her off before she could continue, wounded that she thought such a thin charade was going to pacify him, and wanting nothing more than to do something if there was something wrong.

The smile faltered, and something deep and dark flashed in her eyes. Not dark as in threatening. The scared kind. The emotional kind. The arm he was still holding trembled slightly in his grip.

“It’s nothing that you can fix, Levi,” she said in a small voice, looking like she suddenly wanted to bolt.

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s not. You’re just making it complicated. And I don’t know why,” Levi said, letting a bit of his frustrations leak through as well as his worries as his eyes roamed her face, trying desperately to find the answers of what happened, what changed. “You’re not even yourself right now, you’re just pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. What’s really going on with you?”

“It’s been four years--”

“That’s an excuse, not an explanation.”

“Levi, please, let it go.”

“No. Not this time. Whatever this is, it's not something you can sweep under a rug, Y/N. It’s everywhere I looked in that damn house, and you’re an entirely different person, so tell me so I can try to help--”

“Y/N?”

The new voice made them both look up in surprise, both of them lost in their hushed conversation and as such, completely missing that someone had spotted Y/N from the other end of the aisle and was currently making their way towards a scene that could easily be misinterpreted.

Levi let go of her instinctively before anyone could freak out about the shady guy that wasn’t her boyfriend or whatever that had a hold of her arm, staring at the man that was now approaching them, worry in his gaze as he looked between the two.

Y/N had turned fidgety, staring at the other man with a bit of recognition in her eyes, but not familiarity. “Is there something you need?”

A spark of pity appeared in the man’s eyes. “You’ve wandered a little ways from home, haven’t you?”

Levi’s brows furrowed in confusion at what the man was saying, but Y/N seemed to grow nervous, which put Levi on edge.

“No, I’m just--I’m just out with a friend. For a little while.”

The man’s gaze flickered to Levi, his expression telling Levi that he didn’t really believe her. “Right...but I’m sure Roy is worried sick about you. Let me just call him and let him know where you are so he can--”

“No! No, listen,” she said with panic in her voice, and Levi felt a chill go down his spine as a thought started to take root in his mind, growing with each word uttered in this bizarre exchange in front of him. “I haven’t seen anyone in two years, I know, I’m going home after this, but I just want to spend some time with a friend for a while before I head back.”

“I know what it means when Roy’s not here, you can’t be out on your own like this, you’re confused, you could get hurt--”

“I’m not crazy!” she snapped. The stranger reached out for her arm, she flinched away, and Levi’s hand snapped out to grab his wrist before it could reach again.

The eyes that looked at him were not filled with pity, but hard accusation, apparently deeming Levi as some kind of threat. He wasn’t to her, but he was about to be to whoever the hell this was.

“I don’t know who you think you are taking advantage of a confused girl like this--” the man started to say, but Levi cut him off in a harsh and hard voice.

“I’m a friend who’s known her longer than this Roy guy, and if you don’t keep your hands off her, I will remove them myself.”

The man flinched back from Levi’s grip, which Levi allowed because his attention was elsewhere now, the suspicion that was growing in the back of his mind just needed a little physical proof he was certain he was about to see.

Without asking for permission or giving her any kind of warning that might give her time to try and hide again, Levi gently grasped her arm and yanked back the sleeve. Instead of smooth, unblemished skin, there was a collection of bruises and even a few cuts. His hands turned deceptively still as hers began to tremble.

“Levi, stop, what are you--” she tried to protest, the panic clear in her voice as he grabbed the other arm--gently, again--to pull back that sleeve and reveal the same thing beneath the second sleeve. She tried to flinch away when he reached for the scarf, but he had enough of a grip it pulled loose, revealing fresh, ugly bruises around her throat she’d been trying to cover up by wearing it.

The man behind them was finally silent, and Levi stared wordlessly at Y/N, processing what he was seeing and the confirmation of his theory as she refused to look him in the eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks as she looked away in shame.

He’d been trying to figure out what happened to her, what changed, why she was so different. He’d thought maybe his disappearance had hurt her more than he thought, maybe something went wrong at college and things had spiraled out of control, maybe something happened that made her give up hope.

Except this was worse. This was much, much worse.

Of all the things that came to mind in this very moment, he thought of the day he’d seen the fire in her eyes when she swore she wouldn’t be caged. And now he was staring at the shaken form of a woman who had been forced into a cage when she’d fought so hard to escape them and their limitations. Someone had forced that fiery soul he’d admired to bend and break and conform until it was jammed into a too-small and isolated box without color or life.

It was wrong. It was disgusting.

And he was livid.

“Levi...Levi, wait!” Y/N called out in a panic, but for once, he ignored her, gaze dark as he turned without a word and left the building, purposeful steps leading him back the way he came as Y/N chased after him with calls of his name, trying to stop him. He wasn’t going to let her stop him, not this time.

By the time the house came into view, Levi’s blood was burning in his veins, that power in himself that he’d unlocked long ago when he’d decided to protect her from this ugly world rearing its head and chomping at the bit to sink its teeth into this Roy guy.

He tried the front door, only to discover it was locked. She must have snuck out the back, earlier, then, like he had.

“There you are you little sl--”

The angry growl from another man’s voice was cut sharply off as Levi, not in the mood to waste time jumping a fence and coming through the back door, kicked the door in with one simple move. The door’s abrupt burst inwards was what caused the voice to be cut off, as the edge of the door slammed into the man’s face and sent him reeling back.

Levi wasn’t paying attention to physical features, what he looked like, how much larger than him he was, nothing like that. He stepped inside, saw the man holding his nose in surprise, and descended on him like a sicced dog.

Eyes flashing dangerously, Levi gave no explanation for why he, a stranger to this man, kicked down his door and attacked him. He just started swinging, one hand grabbing Roy’s shirt so tight it started to rip and the fabric cut into his throat while the other formed a fist and started repeatedly bashing into his face. Blood sprayed in the first two seconds, but Levi kept going, ducking out of the way as he tried to return a swing, getting underneath him and tackling him into an end table that splintered with the force of the impact, sending them both to the floor.

At that point, Y/N had caught up, and she was standing in the doorway shouting for him to stop. Again, Levi ignored her. He would stop when he felt like Roy’d had enough, and right now, he didn’t think he had. He was on his feet now, foot flying out in violent kicks to do damage to more than just the man’s face, taking his fury of what Roy had done to her out on any body part that came within reach of his foot.

Timid hands locked around his arm, and Levi turned to see Y/N grabbing his arms with tears in her eyes, looking scared and desperate and shaken. He finally stopped, staring at her for a few moments and the tears in her eyes as, once more, she begged him to stop, except now he was looking at her, and he was paying attention.

“Levi, please, I just…” She sniffled, sobbed, and then started to cry, and Levi’s rage started to melt away, heart softening and aching painfully to see her clinging to him sobbing so openly. The last time she’d done that had been when she’d ran away and got lost, and that had been nothing like this.

He turned to face her, hand gently reaching out to touch her shoulder, part of him wanting to stop and comfort her, but the other part knowing this wasn’t the time for that, not yet, anyway.

“Is the house yours?” he asked.

“No…”

“The car?”

“No.”

“Pack your stuff. Whatever’s yours, whatever you want to keep, pack it. I’ll meet you outside,” Levi said softly, giving her a gentle push towards the hall to get her moving and away from the bloody sight of Roy on the ground.

Well, he’d pushed himself up and crawled over to the weathered chest in the center of the room that acted as a coffee table as Levi was focused on and talking to you, flipping open the lid and drawing Levi’s attention back towards him as he heard a faint but recognizable, even in this world, click.

And the weapon was not aimed at Levi, but Y/N still standing in the doorway of the living room looking timid and afraid to leave because of what Levi might do while she was gone.

“Fucking bitch--” Roy yelled as Levi’s hand shot out to knock the weapon out of his hand, the gun firing and the shot going wild as Levi yanked Roy’s hand closer towards him--but the barrel wasn’t aimed at Levi, he wasn’t stupid. The bullet embedded itself into the wall right of Y/N, who screamed as the shot went off.

Levi twisted Roy’s hand until there was a snap and the gun clattered to the floor as Roy let out a short scream of pain, Levi kicking the gun far out reach and pulling out his knife to keep Roy compliant, dragging the man effortlessly out the front door and onto the front lawn, throwing him to the ground as Y/N followed at least just outside the door instead of heading back inside.

“Levi!” she started to shout, but Levi pointed one of his bloodied hands back at the door behind her.

“Go get your stuff--I’ll handle this,” he said firmly, and she hesitated a few moments before she finally headed inside the house to go pack, leaving Levi alone with Roy.

Levi pressed his knee against the man’s back to hold him down, one hand fisted into his hair to hold his head back, knife out and pressed into his throat until blood started to dribble down the blade.

“The only reason you’re not dead, is because I don’t want her to see that. Not to mention you’ve got her so fucked up right now I doubt it would only make her more upset,” Levi said in a low, threatening tone, keeping his words quiet as he spoke so only him and Roy could hear if Y/N came back outside. “So I’m taking her, we’re leaving, and you’re never going to darken the same town as her. If you so much as think of her again, I will gut you and leave you for dead in some dark alley no one will ever find you in. And I was gutting grown men before you had your first beer and started calling yourself a man, so when I say that’s what I’ll do to you, I mean it.”

Levi removed the blade, stepping away and pulling out his handkerchief to start cleaning the blood off his hands and knife, keeping his gaze sharply on the beaten man below him as he waited for Y/N to make a reappearance.

“Who the hell do you think you are to take what’s mine?” Roy spat.

Levi kicked him so he would turn over, putting his boot on the man’s throat to stop him from talking anymore--he didn’t want to hear the filth pouring from his lips.

“I’m the man who will kill you without a second thought if you try anything with her ever again. And she was never yours. She’s a person, not an object.”

Levi watched him struggling underneath him, putting more pressure on his throat whenever Roy tried to claw him off, not an ounce of his currently vicious attention leaving him. He was aware that they had an audience--some neighbors were standing on their porch to see what was going on, no one brave enough to come face the man with the knife who’d beaten Roy to a pulp. Though some of them seemed to be on phones, probably calling for actual help. No matter. They’d be out of here before any police arrived.

Y/N finally appeared, a single, small suitcase in hand, a coat on her frame this time, the scarf tied in place once more to hide the bruise on her throat. Levi’s boot lifted off Roy’s neck, the knife he’d been cleaning now tucked away and out of sight and his hands clean as Y/N timidly started to approach him.

“You won’t make it out of town before the cops--” Roy started to wheeze, but Levi kicked him hard in the head, knocking him out in the process.

He should have done that earlier, honestly.

Levi held out an arm, pulling her protectively to his side with his arm around her shoulders as they quickly left the house behind.

“People are staring,” Y/N mumbled. Her eyes were red from the crying, her cheeks flushed and wet with tears. Levi’s hand gave her shoulder a gentle rub of comfort, trying to give her a bit of assurance.

“Don’t worry about that, let’s just get you out of here,” Levi muttered, taking the directions she’d given him to at least get them to the store she’d had him meet her at.

They could have taken the truck to get out of there faster, so they could just start driving, but he didn’t want to risk Roy coming after her for stealing anything that was legally his, so they were going to have to start on foot until they could find transport.

And as much as he wanted to be the one to take care of her right now, to tell her she didn’t have to worry about anything and he would take care of it all, he was a stranger in this world, and he didn’t understand it nearly as well as she did. He needed her help to get her out of here, get her somewhere safe and secure where Roy couldn’t touch her.

They needed transportation and money. Those were the two important things right now.

“Do you have any money? Any at all?” Levi asked her as they came up on the store.

“No--I haven’t had a job in two years. The twenty from earlier I took from Roy,” she said quietly.

“What about a phone so we can call someone, like your parents?”

“I haven’t had a phone in two years, either.”

Levi made a noise of frustration with how truly stuck Roy made her. He moved her across the country away from everyone she knew (Besides Levi, who appeared wherever she was, but had been missing for four years), took away her transportation, took away her phone so she couldn’t contact anyone, took all of her money so she couldn’t buy her way anywhere, told their neighbors if she was out and about without him she was in trouble because she was unwell or sick in the head or some bullshit…

“If we go inside we might be able to borrow the store’s phone, though,” she said in a small voice. “And get you a new shirt. There’s blood on yours.”

There was. They would probably get odd looks if he went inside with blood on him with a girl that looked shaken and scared, maybe get the police called on them again. This wasn’t the Underground, people weren’t guaranteed to look the other way.

“Give me your coat, then. We’ll go inside, get a new shirt, and you can borrow a phone to call your parents...do you remember their numbers?”

The only number he had to remember was 911 with that lesson she gave him a while back, but he was aware the other numbers were ten digits. And it had been a while since she called them.

“I’ve always known my dad’s number like the back of my hand. And he’s never changed it, so...I can call him,” she said, her voice shaking slightly at the prospect. But she was shrugging off her coat, so clearly she was accepting the idea.

Levi pulled on her coat and covered himself up so the blood on his shirt wasn’t noticeable. The blood on his pants and boots was another story, but that he might be able to brush off as paint or mud considering the dreary weather. Once his hands were through the sleeves, he grasped her hand in his own and gave it a firm squeeze to reassure her, pulling her along after him as he headed for the doors they’d gone through earlier.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” he said lowly, guiding them inside. Once inside, though, she took over, walking unsteadily to the other side of the store and approaching the counter with a nervous, jittery disposition as the lady on the other side stared expectantly at her. “Can we, um...can I...I mean…”

“Can we borrow a phone?” Levi interrupted after watching her struggle to get the words out for several painful moments. The lady looked taken aback, gaze scanning them over and narrowing at them suspiciously. “She needs to make a call to her father.”

The woman’s analytical gaze didn’t lessen, but she did gesture to a phone behind the counter. “You can use this one.”

*Reader’s POV*

Your hands were still shaking as you moved around the counter, repeating the number in your head over and over in the hopes that doing so would make it correct. When you were younger, you’d always mixed up two of the numbers, and you were hoping you weren’t about to do that again. You needed this call to go through.

You were still shaken by the abrupt turn this day had taken. When you’d first seen Levi, you were just happy to see /anyone/ outside of Roy. Especially the young man you had been convinced you’d never see again.

But Levi had always been observant, always good at reading people, and it hadn’t taken him long to start digging at things that made you reflexively panic, instinctively trying to hide the truth of your situation even from the one person you thought you might be able to be open with. But Roy had too tight a hold on you and your life--you were too terrified to even let anyone suspect what was going on behind closed doors. It wasn’t like you’d had a way out. He’d stripped you of every freedom and mode of independence until it was too late, until you were isolated and locked in with no sign of ever escaping. So you tried desperately to make it work, for your sake.

And when Roy got home, the thought of him seeing you with another man...you’d felt like you were staring death in the face. No amount of saying Levi was just a friend would convince him, which was why you’d sent him out the back. Of course, you’d forgotten about the two glasses you’d poured earlier, which was where the bruise around your neck came from. Roy had picked you up by the throat and slammed you against the wall, demanding the truth as you desperately spun a lie about pouring yourself a glass and forgetting where you put it until after pouring a second. Your insistence even after you ran out of air might have been what saved your life.

Getting out had consisted of waiting until after you’d finished and served Roy dinner, claiming you were going to take a bath to clean up after all the housework and instead sneaking out the back door. You knew there would be hell to pay when you came back, that Roy would be furious you snuck out of the house he kept you restrained inside, but to see Levi...seeing Levi made it worth it.

Even being in his presence made you feel a little safer, made the air feel clearer instead of suffocating, made a bit of hope peak through the gloom you’d been trapped in. You just wanted a few minutes of that before Levi inevitably disappeared, just a few moments of safety and warmth beside him would be worth any retaliation Roy doled out when it ended.

But the moment was shattered. Any attempt you made to keep Levi from finding out, afraid of what would happen when he did, only made Levi more suspicious, because he knew you, and he’d known something was wrong from the start. It had only taken one look for him to realize you were a bird with broken wings shoved in a corner of a cage and left to die. But you were too afraid to say anything, too afraid of the fallout, of what would happen to Roy. Because part of you had kept believing that if you just tried a little harder, if you just stopped messing up, if you could do one thing right, maybe he would go back to the way he’d been when you first met, maybe you could fix it. It was your fault it had developed to this point, anyway, not his. That was what you believed, anyway.

So seeing the dark fury in Levi’s eyes, remembering the few times he’d come through to your world in the middle of a fight, that one time when you were young that he came back covered in blood, you’d been afraid. You might have never seen Levi like that, but you knew what it would lead to. But Levi was faster than you, and unlike before, he wasn’t going to listen to your pleas to let it go, to stop and leave it be. He was going to do something about it.

The fight had been terrifying to witness--mostly because every witnessed blow made you flinch, and you had never seen Levi with that dark fury in his eyes lashing out at someone with such murderous intent. You really thought Levi was going to kill Roy in that moment.

When you stopped him, maybe part of it had been a conditioned reaction to not let Roy be hurt, maybe part of you was still afraid for Roy because he was still your partner. But Levi was close to you in a way Roy could never fill, no matter how badly you tried to fit the cold and cutting square peg that was Roy into the round hole that was where Levi’s warmth and comfort was supposed to be. You were afraid, but while Roy had conditioned you to be obedient and follow his whims, Levi was the one with your loyalty, with the history, with the true and even reciprocated affection. When you’d stopped that fight, if it could be called that, it was because you just wanted it all to be over. You just wanted out of that hell house and somewhere safe, you wanted Levi to take you with him anywhere but here. You didn’t want him to look scary and covered in blood right now, you wanted him to whisk you away and hold you and tell you it was going to be all right.

But it seemed right now wasn’t the time for that in his mind. He was taking the part about getting you out of here seriously. The only form of comfort you had right now was the fact you were away from Roy at the moment, the small squeezes Levi gave your hand, and the protective arm around your shoulders.

But you kept thinking what would happen when Roy caught up to you. When the police were called and this was considered a kidnapping, when Levi got arrested for the assault at least, possibly worse. When you were dragged back to the house where a punishment that would probably finally leave you dead would be waiting for you. It was what had you so terrified. That someone would pull you out of Levi’s comforting grip and throw you back to Roy, that this couldn’t last, that you’d be dragged back. You had nowhere to go, and no way to leave. No money, no car, no phone, no friends or family in the area, you were isolated and surrounded by people who might see Levi and think he was the abuser.

Your fingers shook as you dialed the number, almost messing up more than once pressing the buttons on the cord phone that was used in the Wal-Mart, waiting as the rings droned on, then ended with your father’s voicemail.

It was the right number.

You just needed him to pick up even though the Caller ID would likely be Wal-Mart from a state he didn’t even go to. He would think it was a scam call. So you had to keep calling until he answered--praying he would answer before the cops caught up, before Roy came back, before the woman at the counter stopped eyeing Levi like that and decided to just do something about whatever she was assuming in her head.

You called again. No answer.

Again. No answer.

No answer.

Nothing.

“Pick up, please,” you let out in a small sob, only realizing then that you were openly crying as you desperately tried to get your father to pick up the phone. You felt a warm hand on your back and looked over to see Levi standing beside you with concern in his eyes.

“Breathe. Just keep trying,” he said softly, giving your back a small rub to help calm you down as you sucked in sharp breaths of air in your effort to calm back down, rubbing at the tears in your eyes as you kept trying the number back to back.

You tried five more times before you finally heard the dial tone interrupted, your heart leaping into your throat. “Whoever this is--” came the familiar voice of your father, the same time that you squeaked out,

“Daddy?”

The word shook and cracked, already showing that you were vulnerable and emotional and needed help. There was a second of silence as your father registered that you were the mysterious caller, and the tone immediately softened from angry and annoyed to worried and even a little panicked.

“Y/N? Are you all right? What are you doing calling from a Wal-Mart? Why haven’t we heard from you in so long? Are you in Washington? Where have you been?” he asked, a thousand bottled questions from two years of silence starting to flow out.

“I’m not. I mean, I am but I’m not. Daddy, I’m in a really bad...Levi found me, he got me out,” you said, looking at Levi as your voice shook, glad to see he was staying firmly by your side with his hand on your back as you spoke, giving you silent encouragement and not moving away at the vulnerability. You didn’t think you could speak if he wasn’t right there to reassure you. “But we don’t have anywhere to go now. We don’t have a car, or money, or even a phone, we stopped at the Wal-Mart two miles from…”

You sniffled, tears blurring your vision as pent up emotions started to bubble to the surface. You didn’t even care that you were in a public place anymore. You just knew you had a man who truly cared about you that you cared for in return at your side, your father on the other end of the line, and you wanted desperately to go with them and be safe and not get dragged back to Roy’s.

“Daddy, I’m scared,” You admitted, hand shaking on the phone and feeling Levi step closer and his grip reflexively tighten on you at your words. “I think they called the police--the neighbors. Levi sort of...he hurt Roy really bad and I think they think he kidnapped me, Roy might try to have Levi arrested, but I don’t want to--I can’t go back there, I just want to get out of here, I can’t go back there.”

Levi full on wrapped you up in one of his awkward but learning hugs, and you turned your head to cry into his chest for a few moments as he murmured to you that it was going to be alright, he wouldn’t let anyone take you away, you holding the phone further away in the hopes your dad wouldn’t hear because a part of you didn’t want him to hear just how bad it was at the same time you wanted to tell him everything.

“Sweetheart, you need to listen to me,” he said once you had the phone pressed back against your ear to hear him. You recognized that voice--it was his ‘I’ve seen a lot of shit as a soldier and led an interesting life, and I’m about to teach you something important as gently as I can, but you need to listen to me’ voice. “I’m going to give you my bank information, you go to the ATM at the Wal-Mart and pull out two or three hundred dollars. Use it to buy a burner phone, get at least a few hours on it, get some food and something to carry it in, anything else you need for two or three days. I’m going to buy greyhound bus tickets the closest to you I can find that’s leaving in an hour or two, one for you and one for Levi so he can keep you safe, so you have enough time to get what you need and get there. Text me on the phone you buy so I know where to send the tickets, I’ll send you the information, and then you need to call the police and tell them what happened so they arrest Roy, make sure you stress that Levi was defending you and trying to get you to safety and they might not come after the two of you to arrest him. Just focus on getting out of the state first.”

You were fairly certain, considering you knew your father and the way he phrased that, that he was telling you two to evade the police at the same time so Levi wouldn’t be arrested and he could stay with you to keep you safe. You were pretty sure extraditing was a thing, but you weren’t going to worry about it right now--especially because you knew Levi would disappear from custody anyway.

“Okay,” you said in a small voice, listening intently as your father moved on to explain how a cardless cash withdraw worked on an ATM and how he was going to approve the withdraw from an app on his phone, while you only needed to enter his number and the codes he was about to tell you, and the amount, and you would have the money. You said a very shaky goodbye that consisted of some I love you’s before you hung up the phone with the codes running in a loop through your mind, hurrying with Levi over to the ATM that was correspondent with your father’s mainstream bank, entering the phone number, the codes, and then ending up with three hundred dollars in your hands, plus the twenty you took from the house.

Levi let you take the lead in this, since you knew what you were doing even if you were the shaken one that was being rescued. You hurried back to the electronics section, buying and quickly activating the first phone that would suit your needs. Once you had it in hand, you texted your father, who replied with four greyhound bus tickets--two for you and two for Levi, the reason for which being he included a transfer, with enough gap between drop off and pick up time for you and Levi to get a room at a hotel and get a good night’s rest before having to get on the next bus. He explained that there was a curbside pickup spot close to your location at a local gas station that would only require you to show the ticket to the bus driver before you were let on, and that it would be there in a little less than an hour. That allowed you time to do any supply shopping and hurry over there, though he again stressed you needed to call the police immediately and try to explain as much of the situation as possible so you could safely run from Roy without it being considered evading the police. And so they wouldn’t be after Levi for kidnapping, at least.

You were pretty sure what Levi had done to Roy went beyond defense, though, so you weren’t optimistic about that. At least there was no trace of him here in this world besides your stories, not even a birth certificate or a match to a fingerprint. Levi was a ghost here. So long as they didn’t catch him, they couldn’t prosecute him.

That was your thinking right now, anyway.

You grabbed a cart, headed over to the fresh foods section, and started grabbing from the lemonade, salads, wraps, sub sandwiches, potato salad, crackers and cheese trays--everything that was premade and ready for you and would keep in a lukewarm environment until you were in a hotel to put it in a minifridge for a while. Stuff you could eat when you felt like it when you needed it. You hurried over to the men’s aisle, and the two of you found a nice white button down and a pair of black dress pants that he could replace the ones he’d been wearing with. By that point you felt like the breath was being squeezed out of you as you ran out of time and pushed your luck only a few miles from Roy’s house, the police probably at the scene and taking statements by now. But that phone conversation was not one you wanted to have in a store surrounded by all kinds of people. You’d probably cry again, and maybe you’d be asked questions you couldn’t answer around so many people.

So you rushed through buying the food and Levi’s replacement shirt, Levi going into the men’s room with the bag to change while you shakily dialed 911 on the phone as you waited for him to finish, putting the phone to your ear.

“911, what’s your emergency?” came a woman’s voice.

“Um...my name’s...my name’s Y/N L/N...I don’t know if there’s been any calls regarding me yet, but I...I needed to call and clarify what hap--what happened before a false report happened, or whatever it is.”

“I’m sorry, what exactly are you calling for?”

You looked around to make sure there weren’t a lot of people, lowering your voice as you tucked yourself against the wall you were leaning against with your bags at your feet, the food in a newly bought, spacious satchel bag and your suitcase on the other side of it.

“My, um...my boyfriend, Roy Higgins, he um...he was...it was a really, really bad situation. An old friend of mine found me--”

“Found you? What do you mean by found you?”

“Roy isolated me. Moved me where there was no one around that I knew, took away my phone and my car and my money, told people I was sick so if I was out alone, without him, to bring me right back. No one knew where I was, they probably thought it was voluntary.”

“Just to clarify, Roy was abusing you.”

“Yes.”

“And you say your friend found you?”

“Yes. He found me, and he saw...he saw how bad I was hurt when I snuck away to see him, and he went back, to Roy and he...they got into a fight. He beat up Roy pretty bad, and Roy drew a gun on me and he tried to shoot me--”

“Was this before or after the fight?”

“In the middle. My friend was...He was coming to get me out of there, he told me to go pack and we were going to leave, and that’s when Roy tried to shoot me, and L--my friend dragged him out front, I don’t know what happened out there cause I was packing, but...I’m not in danger now, I just, I know neighbors were on phones and I didn’t want the police thinking I was kidnapped, or Roy telling the police I was taken, I want to leave, I don’t want to go back there--I can’t go back there and…” You choked off again, ducking your head away as someone walked by so they wouldn’t see you were crying. “My friend’s just trying to get me somewhere safe, where Roy can’t find and hurt me. I didn’t want any police arresting him or bringing me back there, so I...I called 911 so I could...I could report the abuse...and make sure that it was known I left willingly, my friend didn’t take me he was helping and defending me, and he felt my life was in danger, which it was because Roy almost...before I snuck away to see my friend he almost...and Roy’s just trying to drag me back there.”

“Y/N, is it possible for you to come into the police station to give a statement to clear things up?”

“No. No, I can’t stay here, I just, I have to get away, I just want to get far away from here. If you want a statement just let me, let me do it over the phone, or at the station in the other state when I’ve finally stopped running from him.”

At that point, Levi came out of the men’s restroom, looking clean and proper as he took in the sight of you on the phone again, fresh tears on your face. You rubbed your eyes to get rid of them and straightened, Levi picking up the bags at your feet and gesturing for the two of you to get moving.

You followed after him as you continued speaking on the phone, knowing he knew where to go because you’d told him while the two of you were shopping for clothes and food.

“Okay, then Y/N, would you be willing to at least answer some questions right now so the police know some of what Roy’s done, so they can charge him properly?”

“Yes,” you said simply, staring at Levi’s shoes as you spoke while the two of you walked almost side by side. The questions that were coming, you felt like they might be the kind you didn’t want Levi to hear, but you wanted as much as possible on the record as fast as possible. Hopefully Roy would be locked up, and you would have some time before he could come after you.

Because, surely, he’d come after you. He’d want his prize back.

“How long were you two in a relationship?”

“Three years. Roughly.”

“Was he always abusive?”

“Not at first. He eased into it.”

“Was the abuse physical, mental, emotional?”

“All of it.”

“Did he ever sexually abuse you?”

Your gaze flickered to Levi, your voice tiny and barely heard as you spoke into the phone. “How...how would you define that?” You asked quietly, your mind flashing back to what happened to Levi, at long last able to understand what had happened that day, exactly, beyond ‘someone hurt him terribly,’ but unsure if what happened to you counted as that kind of abuse.

“Did he every touch you when you didn’t want to be touched, or pressure or force you to have sex with him when you didn’t want to?”

“Yes,” you said, voice somehow getting lower as you confirmed it. “More than once.”

You were trying to be very brief and vague about the way you confirmed what she was asking, because you didn’t want Levi to figure out what you were talking about, still attempting to shield him from at least some modicum of the reality of what you went through.

What you didn’t know was the Levi could hear what was being said. He was on full alert, keeping his eyes out for the slightest sign of trouble or Roy, and one of the things that meant was that he was listening very hard to his surroundings...and he could pick up the words coming from the other end of the phone with how close to him you were standing. If you were looking at his hands instead of his feet, you would have noticed the white knuckle grip on the bags in his hands, as well as the slight tremble in them.

“You mentioned earlier that your friend was trying to protect you, and that he felt you were in danger. That Roy shot at you. He actively tried to kill you?”

“Twice. Also before I met with my friend,” you told her.

“Had he reached that level of violence before?”

“Yes, but he usually stopped just short of it.”

The questions continued beyond that, the operator fishing for chargeable incidents she could put on the record of the call that you could talk about right now, your answers still kept brief with Levi next to you but still trying to make it clear so no one could claim too much ambiguity and shiftiness in her answers. You were still on the phone as you and Levi stood at the pickup point for the greyhound bus, Levi keeping to himself for the time being as you answered questions on the phone before, at long last, you hung up, pulling up the tickets on your burner phone and making sure to keep your father updated. You told him you were at the stop and that you’d given your side of the story, as well as telling him how much money you had left after the phone, food, and Levi’s clean change of clothes. He mentioned you might need to withdraw a bit more when you stopped to sleep at a hotel, and that he would shift around some money in the meantime so it would be there if you needed it, and that he would be ready to set up the bank withdraw through his phone again if you needed it.

Finally, finally, you tucked the phone into your pocket, looking up and around you at the bus stop, the sun starting to set and making darkness quickly settle over the area, the already chilly air getting gradually colder. The unknown yawning in front of you was terrifying, waiting for a greyhound bus to come and take you far, far away from Roy. The freedom was enough to make fresh tears well in your eyes, but the fear that the rug could still get yanked out from under you, the fact that you didn’t know where to go from here, that still terrified you.

You looked at Levi at your side, noticing that his eyes were still on you even though he’d been keeping to himself and letting you have your conversations in peace. He was tense, even though the lean against the bus stop bench glass wall suggested relaxation. There was only a bit of blood on the brown vest he was wearing over the white button up, the rest thoroughly washed away.

Fully grown, past the teenage years and childhood in general, Levi’s features were sharp and...even more attractive than they had been before. Though he also had a tougher exterior now, a general air of ‘do not mess with me’ that usually the kids in actual gangs in high school used to have. But that vibe wasn’t a deterrent for you, because you knew him as a person. You knew how soft and gentle and warm he could be--as he’d been with you since he’d appeared even when he pushed to try and get the truth from you for your own good, so he could protect you.

And after seeing him beat the shit out of Roy, even if the violence hadn’t been what you wanted because you were so sick of violence right now, and seeing him derail the shot so no one got hurt, you were never going to doubt that he could protect you ever again.

“Everything set?” Levi asked as you stared at him, straightening up and coming to stand directly beside you now.

You nodded. “The trip should bring us...or me, if you disappear again...to Dad’s,” you said, a slight waver in your voice at the thought of him disappearing. You didn’t want to go again. He was your safety blanket, your stability, the thing you were clinging to right now to get you through this, to get you to take the necessary steps to freedom, what was making you feel safe right now. You didn’t want him to disappear, you weren’t ready for him to disappear, especially with that lingering fear that it might be for years again, that you wouldn’t see him for so long--

“I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re safe,” he said bluntly, holding your gaze to make sure you understood he meant it.

Though you didn’t know how he was going to stop the universe throwing him back into his world, you didn’t question him. Instead, you stepped closer, put your arms around him, buried your face in his chest, and started to silently cry, seeking his comfort once more.

He put his arms around you tenderly, holding you securely against him until the greyhound bus appeared at the end of the street to take both of you far, far away from this place.

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags: @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @queenofcurse

Through the Looking Glass Tags: @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie @tartheyes @super-peace-fangirl @huntersbunker @nefelimalfoy @soft-levi-girl-blog @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal @sugas-daddy7 @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife @sanrioclit @wvnderfvllyalvne @sparkling-gayyyy @do-not-feed-sugar

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sasa-gay-yo · 3 years

Text

Levi Reassuring You

Request: Here

Summary: You weren’t a Scout. You weren’t talented in ODM. You’ve never killed anything in your life. You were so unlike her in everyway possible, and you knew Levi knew it too. Why did he pick you?

Warnings: None, some kissin here and there

You never knew why he liked you. You seemed to be the opposite of the people he surrounded himself with. You weren’t a Scout, you could barely kill a fly, and you lacked confidence in your ability to even lift a brick. Because you couldn’t rationalize Levi’s feelings for you, you always had those doubts in your mind. Not about him, but about yourself.

Those doubts were exaggerated every time you had to deliver a new round of uniforms or equipment to the Scouts HQ. You would sit there while your father bargained with Erwin, watching this new elite squad fly through the trees. Your eyes would mostly be on Levi, watching him expertly work the ODM gear, but they also trailed off to Petra who was always behind him. She would make jokes with him, talking about titan killing strategies, and was the first to volunteer to do anything for Levi. It made you feel like the lesser one in his life... and you hated that fact that there were two of you.

On that particular day, the first mistake was allowing you and your father to eat dinner with them. Because you had made such a rushed order, Commander Erwin wished to give thanks in the only way he possibly could. You were even welcomed to sit at the officer’s table to talk about like inside the walls. Levi’s hand dropping underneath the table to gently stroke along your leg, letting you know that he was really there. However, the problem started off as a fun conversation, but soon turned into you seeing every possible fault in your own self. The from earlier in the day came full force. Even when Levi gripped your thigh, trying to get you to look at him, you ignored it.

“So, (Y/F/N), what else do you do at home? Do you just sew our uniforms together?” It was a simple question from Squad Leader Hange, and it was cute for them to want to know more about your regular, normal life, but in your mind, you went over your hobbies. They killed titans and tried to save humanity in their free time, but you only read books, sometimes baked bread, and attended local commerce meetings with your father. The only thing outside of your normal routine was when Levi showed up to visit you in secret or when he would pull you along to the Scout HQ under the cover of the night. It made you seem so… so miniscule next to them.

“I just live a normal, city life in Trost. Just… normal, yeah.” You looked down to your hand that were sitting in your lap, disregarding Levi’s trying to get your attention so he could see what emotion was running through your eyes. You refused to look up at him for that reason. You didn’t want to talk about it, but you knew that if he saw a problem, he would strive to fix it. Another thing to add to your own downfall list.

The table was composed of the most elite soldiers in all the Scout regiment, and your father who was lucky to retire out of it. Still, he could tell stories of fighting titans or Shadis that would interest the whole table. Anything you said, you could guess no one wanted to listen to, not even Levi who was subject to it all the time. After you had answered Hange’s question the way you did, there were no more asked to you. You didn’t see that it was because Levi glared at anyone who wanted to mention something to you. He’d seen how you reacted to Hange and knew you didn’t want to talk to anyone, so he was protecting you from that fate. You thought it was because they’d lost interest in you, so you sulked even further. Then, Levi took his hand off of you and that stared the spiral.

Did he find, when he visited you, that your conversation was boring? Were you boring to him? Was he now getting frustrated that you were showing off your plainness to every one else in his squad?

“Captain, when are we doing the obstacle course again? I just want to know how long I have to work up my skills to beat you.” You had missed the conversation they were having at the table, but she spoke up again. You’d witness the obstacle course today, the one where Petra was so close behind him.

You liked Petra, you really did. She would always greet you and ask you about your day, sometimes even filling you in on the Scouts gossip, but there was always something stirring inside of you whenever she was near Levi. She would help him put his coat on, she was always first in line during their squads training, and before Erwin had offered you the seat next to Levi, she was the one sitting there. You then drew the conclusion that she must always sit there for dinner. More doubt. It wasn’t her fault for harvesting feelings for Levi when she had no idea you two were starting a relationship, but it still hurt.

Yet, Levi never did anything about it, that was the part that hurt the most. He never shrugged her away, not even when he knew you were looking.

It made you think. She was strong and smart and and elite fighter… why not her? Levi wouldn’t have to listen about your boring life in Trost when he could easily talk to her about expeditions or common interests. She was even in the same building as him and they saw each other every day. You were lucky to see Levi twice a week and that was him working hard to carve time out for you. If given the option to choose, you or her, who would he pick?

Obviously, you, dumbass. I already did, didn’t I? Levi’s voice went through your head. You looked at Petra again, laughing between Miche and Oluo. She was beautiful and pretty much perfect for Levi. Why you?

Levi noticed your distress at dinner from the first moment, but he chalked it up to being something about Hange’s tangent of whether or not titans have organs. They had just captured their first titan on the last expedition, and you didn’t know when or how to tell Hange to stop. Maybe you were getting asked too many questions. Levi knew that you didn’t like to talk about yourself that much and they were forcing you to do that since you finally got to stay for more than a thirty minute delivery. That’s why he glared at them to stop. Levi had to do it for you. When dinner was over, you and your father both got up to leave, but since it was late Erwin offered two rooms till the morning. You father had also been drinking, reminiscing too much about his times with Shadis, so to Levi it was logical and welcomed. He wouldn’t have to go get you tomorrow, and you might be able to sneak away to his office for tea or something more. It had been a while since you and Levi were alone together. He remembered the last time he’d snuck away to see you, thinking your father was out at Mitras picking up the textiles for their uniforms, your Aunt was staying over.

“I can drive the cart back, Commander, it’s fine. You don’t have to kick two people out of their rooms for us.” You waived Erwin off, but he still continued to pushed that you stayed. You knew that Erwin was also offered a look into your relationship, so he probably thought he was helping Levi as well. He argued that the horses were already tired and in the stables, and by the time you have left to Trost, the night guard might be too drunk to let you in. Everything would be better if you waiting in the morning.

Truthfully, you wanted to stay, but you also didn’t want to be in this atmosphere anymore. However, it seemed that Erwin wouldn’t let you, regardless of any excuse you made. He was too much of a gentleman to let a woman go off at night with her inebriated father. He was also set on helping Levi see you. So, you stayed.

Levi wanted you to stay too and was shocked when you had declined Erwin four or five times before you caved. Something was really wrong. You always liked when he took you to the HQ, and now you two wouldn’t have to sneak up and down the stairs evading night watch. What had happened over dinner that changed your attitude? It couldn’t have been just the questions. When you were packing up the boxes in the afternoon, he was able to sneak you away into the training forest to have some alone time and a heated exchange against a tree. He had evidence of that hiding just below his shirt collar. Now, you didn’t even want to stand near him with Erwin was leading you to the extra rooms.

You put your father to bed first, and then went right into the room next to yours. Even if Erwin was still there, Levi almost pulled you to his office so he could see why you were acting that way towards him. It infuriated him he didn’t know what was wrong so he could fix it. He wanted his normal seamstress back. The one that was able to make him laugh for the first time since Isabel and Furlan’s deaths. The one who always hiccupped after he’d kissed your breath away.

“If you need anything, I’m sure Levi will be ever willing to help. His room is just down that hall connected to his office. If it’s urgent, you can wake me up too.” Erwin smiled at you and you returned a fake one back before closing the door to the room. Levi and Erwin just stood there for a second, before Erwin turned to walk back to his office.

“I don’t think she’s going to let you in tonight. She seemed different at dinner.” Erwin said over his shoulder to Levi who clenched his jaw at the commander.

“You don’t think I noticed?” He spat back. He was regretting telling him about you two. This was personal business, he didn’t need to make comments about this apparent “fight” you were having. Erwin just walked away as Levi stood there, staring at the dark wood of the door. When were you going to open it for him?

You were just there sitting on the bed, yet to dress into the gown they gave you. Your mind was sabotaging itself, thinking about everything you’d seen Levi and Petra do together. Thinking about how, if you counted the pros and cons, it was Petra over you. It was anyone over you really. You were so boring compared to Levi that it didn’t make sense as to why he was with you. You weren’t skilled in anything other than sewing, unlike him, who was always the best at whatever he did. You couldn’t kill anything, much less a Titan, and you cried at the drop of a hat. Petra, she was skilled, on his elite team of Scouts, she had killed over fifty titans, and you were sure she was strong. Strong in body and in mind. She probably had so much to talk to him about, too. You’d seen her talk to him. With you, he’d just sit there, every time he visited you, a cup of tea in his hand, not saying a word. Was it always because he just couldn’t find anything to say back? You huffed, laying down on your bed.

What did he even see in you when he came into the shop that day?

You had given him the wrong size uniform, and there weren’t anymore to go around, so he had to trudge his way into Trost and into your shop. His gaze almost scared you as he shoved the too small garment in your hands. You were sure you got his measurements right, but he said the pants were too tight and the cape wasn’t the proper length.

“If you sit here and wait for a bit, I can take out the pants and then make a new cape quickly. Actually, it you’d like to go get lunch, when you come back I can have it ready.”

“No, I’ll sit. I need to make sure you do it right this time.”

Even then, he met you only because of an error you made. You found the order measurements and had given him the wrong pants size. The length of the cape was just a personal preference, but you made sure to write it down on his file. When he sat there in your shop, you talked to him about the most random things to fill your time and the awkwardness he left by staring at you. Even then, he rarely interrupted you or talked unless you prompted him with a question. If you were that boring from the get go, why did he come back more and more until you found yourselves kissing outside of Trost on the grass for the first time?

“(Y/F/N), it’s me.” You didn’t move to open the door, knowing that he would soon let himself in. A few seconds later, the door opened a bit, the light from the candles lining the outside hallway filtering in. He craned his head around the door, seeing you laying on the bed, and quickly shuffled in, leaning on the wall looking down at you. You turned the other way, on your side, so he could only stare at your back. This made him sigh, but he didn’t move from his place on the wall.

Truthfully, he didn’t know what went wrong for you to ignore him like this. Nothing had ever happened like this before. You would always greet him with a smile, pulling him into your body whenever you could. You would talk to him about your day or week and show him everything you were working on with passion in your eyes. His mind only went to one thing and one thing only: Did you not like him anymore? What had he done? He couldn’t let you try and end things without an explanation.

When Levi first let himself go into your arms, he told himself that if you wanted to end things with him, he’d accept it, no matter how much he hated it. He knew how hard it would be on you to be with him. He’s always gone, always working, and always dancing around with death. He fell for you partly because you didn’t care about that. You didn’t care about how many he’s killed or how broken he was inside. Whenever he went to your shop and sat on his chair, you made him feel important, not because he was a Captain, but because he was a human being. You made him feel human. You gave his world light, but he also knew that he was adding darkness into yours. If it would get to be too much for you, because he loved you, he’d let you go. Levi never wanted to hurt you. So, now that you were hurt, he was preparing for the worst.

“What’s wrong?” He tried to let his voice soften out so you knew he wasn’t upset. Something stirred in you when you heard how soft he was trying to be. It hurt, for some reason, they way he tried to twist and turn himself to react to you.

“Why do you like me?” Mistake number two. You knew Levi had problems expressing himself in that area. He either didn’t say anything, or rushed into something he had no idea how to finish. It took months of you having conversations for him to be comfortable saying your first name, but as soon as you went on a picnic with him, he had you pushed against the grassy meadow outside of Trost, lips locked with yours. Maybe it was the same with letting you go. He didn’t know how to tell you that he didn’t like you anymore.

“What?” Levi was shocked at your question. Did he really have to tell you? Did he not show you daily how much you meant to him? How you made him feel? Every time he was with you, he had to hold you in some way, whether it be your hand or just touching your arm, you grounded him. When you read to him, he would lay so that he could see your face, reacting to the story and the characters actions in time with the words exiting your mouth. One time, you got so mad, you threw the book to the opposite side of the bed. He’d never had such side-splitting laughter erupt from him before. He thought you saw that. Witnessed the same devotion as he had. Where did he lose you?

“Petra… she’s beautiful, smart, strong, tactical. She’s an amazing soldier and she has confidence. Tonight, at dinner, she kept talking to you and challenging you in training. She’s a Scout and part of your world, but I know nothing about being a Scout or about titans. Why not her?” You could hear his breath catch in his throat. Had you caught him? You curled up in a tighter ball, trying to push down the tears welling in your throat. You felt him sit down next to you, but you didn’t turn around. You didn’t want to face him when he told you the things swirling in your mind.

Petra. There it was. It was after she challenged Levi to the obstacle course that your feel completely silent. He could pinpoint it now. Even though Petra was a top soldier, he had only seen her as family like the other Scouts. They were apart of his life, but not to the same degree you were. If anything, you were what he lived for. They’re the ones who he helped and who helped him live. They were two different relationships.

He put one hand on your back, “I don’t like Petra like that. She’s a comrade in arms.” You nodded once at his words, but they didn’t make you feel any better. He wasn’t denying anything you had said previous. When what he said didn’t seem to help, he racked his brain, trying to find something to say. You were the one who said all these things to him, not the other way around. He loved you through action, not through words.

“Do you remember the one time I held you while using ODM through the forest? Your first time off the ground?” You didn’t move, but you just nodded once again. How could you forget? You were terrified for the first thirty minutes, holding on to him for dear life while he just trusted the two wires to hold him up as he flipped around and around showing you, first hand, the skill he possesses from years of using the illegal ODM gear. Only when he taught you how to use the contraption, and went a whole lot slower through the trees, did you become comfortable in his arms. It was fun, floating through the air, if only the reasoning for it wasn’t to kill titans.

“When I held you in my arms, the first time, you almost choked me to death because you weren’t used to it. I couldn’t see your face since you had it buried in my neck… but it made me realize why it had to be you. Your pure reaction to the ODM, I never... I’ve never experienced someone react like that. They’re either hiding the fact they want to throw up, or they already know how to use to ODM, so it’s second nature to them. Your emotions were so loud, so open. You screamed at me to go slower,” a low chuckle went through his body, and that’s when you started to open up a little bit, “Then, once you realized I wasn’t going to drop you and you started enjoying it, the look in your eyes was like nothing I’d ever seen before either. You smiled, wide, and when you threw your hands up like you were on some children’s ride… that’s when I fell in love with you.” You froze and so did he. It was the first time he’d said it. The first time either of you said it. You never thought it would be Levi to say those words. It made your eyes widen and fill with tears for a different reason, but you didn’t interrupt him. You wanted to hear what else he had to say.

When he continued, his heart was racing, realizing what he just said. He had never said that to anyone before. He just got ahead of himself, not caring where he placed his words, and his true feelings came out. That’s what happens when he’s with you.

“You made me feel like it was my first day ever using ODM. Your eyes wide with wonder and excitement just made me feel so free. I don’t think I’d felt like that in years; carefree, swinging through those damn trees like that. Every time I do it now for training or for killing titans, it’s never the same. It’s the same with everything else, (Y/F/N). You give my life such emotion that when I’m not with you, it doesn’t feel the same. It loses color. Meaning. I don’t want to be here, I want to be in that green chair in your shop, just listening to what you have to say forever. No one here, not Petra or Hange or Erwin or, I don’t fucking know, or Miche, has ever made me feel like that. I’ve never wanted to stay with someone forever, just sitting, wasting the world away. You make me forget that titans exist. You make me forget that I’m a Captain or a Scout. You make me forget that a world other than the room around us exists. With you, I’m Levi. That’s… that’s why I love you. You make me feel alive. You make me feel like I’m truly me, whatever or whoever that is. I-“ You sat up quickly, pulling him towards you to give him a bone-crushing kiss. The way he just expressed everything to you was mind numbing. Levi never said things like that, not if he didn’t truly mean it. You knew how much he was digging in his heart for these words. He could taste the tears that mingled in between your lips, and when he pulled back, your emotion hit him again. Every time your eyes would flicker with some feeling projecting through, he felt like it was hitting him tenfold. You made everything so vivid to him, so much so, that he had to lean over and wipe off the tears from your face because he couldn’t stand it.

“You…Y-you’re not bored with me? T-that I’m just normal?” He rolled his eyes, grabbing the back of your head to pull it towards his chest. You listened to hear his heart beating, noting that it had sped up from it’s normal pace. You grabbed his shirt, trying to get as close as possible to him.

“You’re not boring, but you’re not normal… to me. Normal people annoy me and make me feel nothing. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced what I feel around you with anyone else. You aren’t normal to me. You’re…you’re special to me. It doesn’t matter that you don’t kill titans or wear a green cape, in fact I like it that way. I can pull away from that when I’m with you. When I’m with you, I don’t focus on anything other than you. I couldn’t stand to be with any of those brats outside, they’d make me want to yell at them to run laps.” You laughed a little into his chest and he played with your hair as you started to feel better. You were stupid, you knew it. If Levi didn’t want you, he wouldn’t be near you. He wasn’t the type of person to stick around someone he didn’t like.

“I think I fell in love you with you when you kissed me in the rain that one day. You told me I looked beautiful in the rain.” He snorted, trying to hide the flush on his cheeks as you made him face his romantic actions. Like he said, when he was with you, he was in his own little world. Sometimes, he forgot what he even said or did until you brought it back up to him and he started stuttering. If the brats found out that Captain Levi was a sap, he’d never live it down. He’d only be like that in front of you.

“And you thought that I had an interest in Petra? Even though I say things like that to you?” You laughed a bit again, the sting of dinner almost completely wearing off.

“I just… At dinner, it just emphasized how much I’m not like you. I just thought that…if I couldn’t talk about killing titans or something that you were unint-“

“Do you know how much I have to talk about titans in a single day? I’d much rather hear you ramble on about how hard it is to dye something dark blue. You will never be uninteresting to me, (Y/F/N). And if you think that you have no skill, just remember that every member in the Survey Corps is wearing something you made when they use ODM. You’re the one who makes the straps that allows us to do our job. Who cares if you can’t use ODM? I couldn’t use it without you.” You blushed as he whispered that into your ear. It did something to you, him saying how he needed you to preform the skill that he was famous for. It was definitely the ego boost you needed.

“You said you loved me?” You looked up to him, the slightly annoyed look plastered on his face again. You were going to make him face his emotions again right after he gave you such a display.

“Yes, I did.” You sighed and grabbed his check, pulling it. He made a noise in protest.

“Are you feeling that emotion now?” He pulled your hand off of him, holding your wrists together so you couldn’t attack him anymore. When he looked at you, he still smiled though. You were looking up at him, the spark back in your eyes. Even if it was to terrorize him, he could look at you like this all day. In fact, he would do it all night. He already got his daily 3-hour sleep, so he could stay up and look at you.

He leaned down and kissed you again, pulling back only a few centimeters to look in those eyes again. God, it was so addicting.

“I love you, (Y/F/N).” Your expression morphed again into one that made his heart race. You always looked like this after he kissed you, that’s why he’d do it so much and at such random times. He wanted to see you like this, looking up at him like he was the only one who mattered. This is what he meant by you making him feel alive. Your expression told him he was the only one. You didn’t need to use your words to reassure him.

“I love you, too, Levi. Even if I doubt myself sometimes.” He nodded, leaning in again. Before he could kiss you again, and before he went back to his normal, semi-stoic self, he let out one last line of reassurance. He wanted you to know, in all seriousness, that if he wasn’t going to end up with you, he wasn’t going to end up with anyone. Not with how you make him feel.

“There’s no reason to doubt how I feel about you. You’re the only one for me. Always.”

xx I hope you like it! This one was hard to write haha

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