The Phantom of the Opera is here 🎶
INSIDE THE HIVE
*music sounds*
#4812 ⭐
YEAAAAAH THAT PUN ROCKS!
i do find it really funny that the like… one piece of descriptive lore about the HIVE is that there is no real way to permanently describe the HIVE because it changes and shifts on a dime whenever the spaceship itself feels like it ;; eldritch abomination of a vessel. low-key gives a guiding through the underworld type vibe and the lantern doesn’t help.
(also literally any version of this is i make/parody is 100% platonic, the musical just has a great score. don’t worry.)
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HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking
WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i
youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options
1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.
2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)
and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.
now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.
SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH
so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.
GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!
NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man
now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.
gerard.
that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.
keay.
now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.
now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.
another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.
okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍
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Relistening to the magnus archives and it struck me how jon isn't really all that much of a sceptic at all in the early episodes even when he consistently points to alcohol/drug use and potential head injuries etc from the statement givers. Like yes he points out a lot of inaccuracies in their statements but he actually seems to believe a lot of the supernatural stuff. He believes timothy hodge and immediately mentions how they're going to have to deal with jane prentiss soon. Obviously the leitner in episode 4 as well. It's less like he doesn't believe these people and more like he hopes they're not true because that would mean there is one less thing he has to fear in the world
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offering you guys this because i have to start getting ready for work but this specific moment has been on my mind almost all morning and i don't wanna lose my mind alone
“Well, you could still be civil,” Regulus mumbles, mouth twisting. “You’re older than him, and Barty would get bored of trying to provoke you if he stopped getting a reaction out of you.”
“Why do I have to be the one to make the effort, huh?” James asks. “Why does he get to continue being a twat, while I have to—?”
“Because I’m asking you to.”
James closes his mouth with a loud clack, jaw clenching a moment after and something ugly clawing at this chest. Both of them seem to be holding their breaths, and Regulus’ shoulders seem as stiff as James feels his own to be.
“That’s not fair,” he murmurs in a low voice, what might be a warning lying underneath.
“I never claimed to be.” Regulus shrugs, feigning an indifference James knows isn’t there. He can’t even hold his gaze. “I’m always doing shit for you. Can’t you do this one thing for me?”
“That’s not fair,” James repeats, a bit louder, a ringing in his ears.
“Jamie,” Regulus presses, softly and mouth nearly curved into a pout and James’ sight gets a bit blurry around the edges.
“Why?” he questions in a croak. “You’ve never minded that much. Or at least, not enough to do this to me. And you know the kind of stuff he says to me, the way he’s always fucking asking for it, I really don’t get why you—”
“Because I don’t want my boyfriend and my best friend to constantly be at each other’s throats.”
Regulus clamps a hand over his lips as soon as he finishes the sentence, but it’s too late. It’s there, hanging between them, heavy and ugly and impossible to ignore. The ringing in James’ ears has become unbearable.
He wants to unsee it. Wants Regulus to let out a cackle, tell him it was a joke, take it back. Wants to curl into a ball on the floor, like he used to do when he got upset as a kid, and cry his eyes out.
He wants to beg. He wants to destroy.
Boyfriend. Boyfriend.
The floor tilts under James’ feet, and he feels himself stumble. He’s not even standing. “What?”
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