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a-secret-inner-life · 4 months

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I came across a lot of stuff that I could relate to about autism while researching for a paper, which led me to do more research on autism in general. I saw some other people doing this type of post on here, so: autistic people, can you please read my super long and detailed list of possible symptoms I experience and tell me if it seems like I'm one of you? I'm trying to be objective and reasonable and figure out what's going on with myself here.

Sensory Stuff

I like to stim–bouncing my legs, tapping my feet when I sit, occasionally swinging my legs or rocking. I also clench my fists or sit on my hands a lot and tap my fingers on things, or just fiddle with whatever is in front of me. Recently, I count while touching my thumb to each of my fingertips to calm down because someone in a book I read did that and it actually does help me. I also sing the alphabet song repeatedly when I'm working on my website.

Sometimes when I'm very tired or overwhelmed my face feels itchy and I feel like every strand of hair touching me prickles and itches and leaves a red spot (but it doesn't actually).

I have a strong hatred for perfume because it smells too strong and fakey, and citrus scents also drive me nuts, but I really like scented candles.

I'm a super picky eater, although I'm not as bad as when I was a kid. I don't mind the taste of tomatoes, peppers, or onions in things, but I'm still a little grossed out when I know I'm eating them, and the texture of onions freaks me right out, as an example.

I get startled easily. Loud noises don't actually scare me, they just jolt me out of whatever thought space I was in before I heard them.

I also get overwhelmed whenever someone tries to talk to me in a loud car (whether it's loud with other people or just the engine), and I find it overwhelming and incredibly difficult to concentrate when more than one person is talking at once. Whenever I'm in a crowd, it just sounds like this vague roar that gets louder the more I think about it, which can sometimes be overwhelming. Still, I'm good at tuning some things out in select circumstances, like the TV when it's on.

Finally, if I pay attention at pretty much any time when there isn't a ton of other noise, I can hear ringing in my ears. This isn't usually upsetting, and I know it's fairly common for anyone to get tinnitus from time to time, but I'm not sure if most people experience it this much.

Social Stuff

I can not handle eye contact.

I'm also really, really, comically bad at social interactions. I almost never speak to someone I don't know well before they speak to me, and my go-to conversation method is to laugh/giggle and nod, I literally can not make actual conversation to save my life. Sometimes I think of things to say but it doesn't occur to me to say them, or I try to but I'm scared and can't find an opening, or I do say the thing and people don't react the way I want them to (usually it's either confusion or disinterest).

Old ladies are my favorite people because they're the least scary somehow. I also love kids, but I'm still awkward so I rarely interact and probably still freak them out.

I'm horrible at keeping contact and I wait until I know people are offline to reply to their messages because conversation is stressful and I need time to think when I text. Group chats are a nightmare, so I pretty much ghost everyone when I'm in one.

I'm super attached to my family, though. I make an effort to create a deep bond with each of my siblings, and I'm the clingiest person in the world when it comes to my older sister.

I value people very deeply, which might be why I find them so intimidating. I love them and I want them to be happy, and I put too much pressure on the situation.

I used to hate being alone, and I still feel guilty or sad whenever I spend too much time by myself, although I actually love to be by myself, a lot of my hobbies and favorite places are solitary, and I usually prefer figuring things out on my own rather than having somebody right there trying to figure it out with me.

I'm incredibly empathetic. It's not like I can automatically sense people's emotions, but I do make an effort to pay attention and understand what they're feeling and why they feel that way. My siblings come and rant to me a lot, and I can be a good diplomat and see both points of view when they argue. I also care, and I always want to make people feel better, though it obviously doesn't always work. Sometimes I'm too empathetic, or maybe too creative, and I stress out about what someone might be feeling when I don't know if it's an actual issue or not.

Patterns and Stuff

I've always been good at remembering my parents’ phone numbers and our zip code, as well as my friends’ birthdays. I work at a grocery store where I find myself reciting the regular customers’ lottery numbers in my head as they're saying them to me.

My dad used to have a verbal checklist of what to bring to work each morning, and I still recite it every time I hear the words “wallet” and “keys” next to each other. Same goes for my old morning checklist that I don't even follow anymore.

I don't adhere to a strict routine in terms of the general structure of my day, but I definitely have a system or pattern for a lot of my specific activities.

Emotional Stuff

I've been obsessed with drawing and painting for as long as I can remember. I write all the time. I think I dedicated myself and a huge chunk of my life to my hobbies. If I like something, I like to think that I make it my own, and that thing permeates who I am.

When I first started listening to BTS, I scoured literally the entire Internet to find every possible hidden track any of the members ever touched, and there were A LOT. Lately I've been obsessed with Keeper of the Lost Cities, and I can't stop talking about the books. I'm also hyper fixated on Tomorrow X Together.

When I start something, I need to finish it, and I'll often think I'm so close to being done only to continue on it for several more hours, trying to hurry up and finish because I need to get it done now. I'm also pretty bad at switching tasks. I try to multitask, but it doesn't really work out.

I can easily forget about my own physical needs; particularly I don't usually realize when I'm hungry. Overall my needs are very flexible to the people around me; if you want to eat together, suddenly I'm hungry, if you don't feel like stopping, neither do I.

I'm a perfectionist, but I hate asking for help. This is especially true when it comes to my grades and my hobbies. I'm more comfortable when I can control the variables and nobody has to know if I fail.

I'm pretty sure I have executive dysfunction because I put so much pressure on doing things perfectly that I lose the motivation to do them at all, and as much as I need to get something done, I can't make myself do it.

Since I was little I've always been awkward and out of place. I feel like I take up too much space. Honestly, I feel like my existence is lame and embarrassing. I hate myself.

I absolutely suck at decision making, sometimes because I don't want to choose something that other people won't like and partially because I'm just really indecisive. Often I feel stuck or paralyzed because I can't choose one way or another.

Along those same lines, the responsibility of being told to do something for someone else is terrible, and I hate doing these things without incredibly specific instructions because I'm scared of messing up.

I also need to know exact details of whatever activity I'm doing before I do it, and I hate when something big isn't planned out in detail.

I used to have a lot of meltdowns as a child. I’d yell and cry and throw things when I was upset. This still happens sometimes, but not as frequently or as badly.

I feel guilty about everything, including mistakes from years ago that shouldn't matter anymore. This makes me feel sort of unworthy (?), like anything good I do is the bare minimum and if I cause a problem (through anxiety or executive dysfunction) that messes up a project, I feel like I have to do everything else perfectly to make up for it, although I usually end up feeling like I'm coddling myself instead.

I constantly compare myself to others. If someone else has a problem that's worse than what I deal with, I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own negative feelings.

I feel like none of my feelings are valid. I feel and think all sorts of dramatic things that seem like the end of the world, but compared to others, my problems are small, and I feel stupid for having them. I almost wish I had a bigger issue or more dangerous mental problems that would make my responses more reasonable, but my logical side knows that this thinking is wrong.

I've been dealing with off and on burnout since I was around twelve years old (so about five years). I've been told over and over that my mindset is wrong and I need to do a million things better mentally to be less of a perfectionist, but I don't have the energy to put in any effort whatsoever to fix myself. I still get random bursts of motivation that last for short periods of time, though.

Sometimes when I go to bed after a stressful day, I wake up in the morning and I have this uncontrollable dread about starting my day. The thought of getting up sounds impossible, and it's almost like there's something sitting in my chest keeping me down.

#am i autistic?#possible autism #possibly neurodivergent #possibly autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism in girls #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurospicy #autistic things

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toastedjeans · 23 days

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So anyway i made a pizza tower oc/self insert/fanchild?? Technically?? If you squint.....

Their name's Ziti and they're Peppino and Gustavo's adopted "kid" (they're around 16). If you saw this post before, i aged them down a bit and changed/got rid of a few other things.

Anyway, some info about them below

I'm still too lazy to put all this into sentences and in an order that makes sense so here's a bigass list

They were adopted by Peppino and Gustavo after the tower fell

Used to work in the tower in the background, probably in a computer room. There was never much work there so they often fell asleep or doodled on the side. When there was work it was very stressful for them and they were easily overwhelmed. They never took days off cause they felt they didn't deserve to. Still, they desperately need a break (more on that in the backstory post)

Very anxious, but unlike Peppino, their anxiety does not turn into rage, just more anxiety and later on extreme tiredness. They're always tired tbh

Likes goofing around with Gustavo. He's the slightly sillier dad, while Peppino is slightly more caring and comforting (he can relate to the trans struggles. We love trans Peppino in this house). Of course, they're both caring and silly and great dads and love their kid very much

Random headcanon that Gustavo likes picking up people as a sign that he likes them a lot, and you know he often does that to Ziti (and Peppino lol)

Absolutely cannot cook, they WILL burn the kitchen down while trying to boil water. Please for the love of pizza do NOT let them near any kitchen. Peppino is honestly amazed by how bad someone's cooking skills can be (he says they're worse than Maurice's, which is saying a lot)

Not used to physical affection, at first only cuddles with Brick. Touch starved as hell.

Fakey is kinda like a mix between a best friend, a big brother, and a weird pet to them. It's weird at first, seeing how he resembles one of their dads so much, but they eventually get used to it

An awkward piece of ham™, but there's a silly goofy goober under all that anxiety

They always put other's needs in front of theirs, resulting in them neglecting their own needs because they're "not important enough" in their mind.

Always tries doing things on their own because they don't like bothering others, even if they know they can't do it alone. Will not actively ask for help but will reluctantly accept it when offered.

Giving gifts is their love language. Gives gifts randomly whenever they find something, but still feels bad when they don't have a gift on a special day (birthdays, Christmas, etc), or if they think their gift is lame

They're very forgetful, but they do remember tiny things nobody cares about. Will forget your birthday, but remembers that they once saw a frog jump directly into water and exactly how the resulting splash looked. This has no significance to anything at all, but they do remember it!

No fashion sense. At all. I mean look at them. Bland white ass. (No wonder tbh if you know where they come from)

Very pale, often got called a vampire or zombie when they were younger. Peppino and Gustavo sometimes lovingly refer to them as their little Mozzarella (despite both of them being smaller than Ziti)

Lastly, they're strangely obsessed with Noisette's cooking. Their favorite is her peanut butter spaghetti. Never gets sick from any of her food. They're not picky is all I'm saying. (Kinda explained in the backstory post)

#toasted art #pizza tower #pizzasona #pizza tower oc #toast ocs #peppino spaghetti #gustavo pizza tower #pepstavo #heavily implied i mean did you see the drawings #anyway um. I'm nervous for some reason #although i have to say. it was comforting drawing all these #look let me live out my fantasy of having parents that are proud of me okay #according to my mind they'd love me so there's that #I'm too stupid to come up with a better design so y'all have to live with that

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manicplank · 2 months

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How’s everyone’s family relationships/background? I hc Pizzahead & Pizza Granny are related, and Vigi has some canon family members but the others are mysteries

This one should be interesting

Family headcanons!

Peppino: His mama lives in Italy and loves him VERY much. His father unfortunately passed before Peppino could open his pizzeria. Grew up with good, loving parents. I believe Peppina is his canonical sister (if you haven't seen McPig's drawing, I think it's somewhere on tumblr). He and her are probably a bit estranged. Fluent 100% in Italian and English.

Gustavo: Has a mom and a dad that just adore him! He's an only child, so he got their love unconditionally! Grew up with incredible parents. One parent was probably Italian. (I've stated before, but I headcanon he has a son that he only gets to see every other weekend. Regardless, he loves his son to death.) About 80% fluent in Italian. Hilarious to hear he and Peppino bicker.

Mr. Stick: I would like to think he has a relatively big family with a LOT of cousins. Mom is good to him, but dad is a bit distant (but still loves him). Probably has a brother that he argues with.

Pepperman: Has grandpa pepper (I'm not sure if they're canonically related, though). Momma pepper loved him very much and loved his art. She had every drawing he's made from preschool to current. His dad is a mystery... He was born and raised in the tower by his grand pepper after his mom passed away.

The Vigilante: (Sad.) He was orphaned at a young age due to rogue criminals, so his peepaw, John E. Cheese, ended up raising him on his own. His meemaw passed before he was born. With his peepaw passing, he doesn't have anybody but the farm.

The Noise: (Mr. Orange is not confirmed as of yet, so I don't consider him part of Noise's family.) I feel like he would have an absent father. His mama loves him very much and spoiled him through his childhood. However, they didn't always get along. Having an AuDHD child as a single parent was probably HELL, especially with it being The Noise. He was born in America with both parents migrating from Mexico. Has a big family despite being an only child. Can mostly speak Spanish, pretty fluent but not 100%. Probably about 80%.

Noisette: Stated before, her parents migrated from France, and she was born in America. She's fluent in French and English. Probably forgets that she can speak French. She is an only child and was raised very well. She was a bit of a shit head as a child, though. Her parents adore her. They don't know about her criminal record, and they don't need to know. She has a couple cousins.

Fake Peppino: On technicality, he and The other clones are related as they all share a smidge of Peppino's DNA. With that being said, Fakey is probably somewhat related to Peppino. Fakey sees Peppino as a father figure, much to Peppino's dismay. Pizzahead is sort of like a mother figure, but only sort of.

Pizzahead: He was definitely adopted. The picture of the pizza couple in the tower lobby shows his parents. Unfortunately, they both passed, and Pizzahead inherited the tower. He has an estranged brother that ceased contact once their parents passed. Granny Pizza loves Pizzahead dearly, and he loves Granny just as much. He sees Fakey as a child rather than just a clone. That's his "baby".

Pillar John: He and Gerome are obviously related. Surprisingly, he is the younger of the two despite his large size. His father was actually different from Gerome's, which explains the significant difference in appearance. Their mother is somewhere out there worried sick about them. She hasn't heard from them since they entered the tower...

Gerome: Like I said, his father was different than John's. He's the older brother of the two and is very protective of John, which is why the tower situation hurts him so much. Gerome has tried to contact his mother only to be stopped by Pizzahead. Probably a bit estranged from his father, but gets along with John's father.

Now... Pizzaface... There's a lot of headcanons out there which he's a robot copy of Pizzahead's father. I personally like this headcanon as there are portraits of Pizzaface all over the tower, even one of him as a child. I feel that once Pizzaface passed away, Pizzahead resurrected him as a robot. I'm still a bit iffy on what I headcanon, but that's mainly what I think so far. (This is also based on other's as well as my own theories.)

This one was fun :)

Also meemaw = grandma and peepaw = grandpa

#pizza tower #noise #the noise #headcanon #pizzahead #noisette #peppino #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #pizzaface #pizza tower gerome #pizza tower gustavo #pillar john #the vigilante #pepperman

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nightswithkookmin · 1 year

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I'm replying you here cos your choice of words might rub others the wrong way and get you in trouble when you are already feeling down.

First off, hugs.

Second, I hear you. I understand you are annoyed because he couldn't take 1 second of his time to openly congratulate Jimin yet here he is on live at Jk's house fueling dating rumors amidst Face promotions.

Truth be told, it pisses me off too when BTS don't act civil towards eachother. They are friends sure but they have a professional relationship too and not expressing that professional courtesy towards eachother stirs my anger for real. They are ruining the script ruining the fantasy and vision of friendship I have for them😒

But that's a me problem. They don't owe me anything.

They are grown adults free to do whatever they want and express themselves in whatever way they want.

Similarly, you are free to like them or not like them too.

You don't have to force yourself to like something you don't.

I personally prefer Jimin as a bias because I like everything about him. His thoughtfulness, his kindness, his honesty and sincerity, his emotional intelligence, and the fact he tries to be a good human day in day out.

As much as I love Jungkook and the others I can't with the ghetto. I just can't. I would drag the hell out of them, nag and complain all the time when they act insensitivly towards others and without considering the impact of their actions on others. I mean I be dragging Jimin too sometimes so why not others😆

Take Tae for instance not saying shit bout Face for one- oh I'm finna drag him across the parameters of the universe I'm just waiting till the dust settle😌

Is that how soulmates behave towards a soulmate?😒

I like Jimin the most- mehn I'm so sick of this fakey love. FAKE LOVE. fakkey love. FAKE LOVE. I'm so sorry but it's fakkey love. "Cussing in Korean melody"

I'm tired of people paying lip service and not backing up their words with actions I'M SICK OF IT.

You love him, you love him. AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SUPPORT HIM. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE NEEDED ALL PJMS ON BOARD.

WHY YALL BE DISGRACING ME OUT HERE

SO GHETTO AND FOR WHAT

You know what. Imma need you in the boxing ring sir

This is for Jimin.

This is for Jin. Don't think I forgot.

AND ON TOP OF IT ALL HE'S OUT THERE POSTING HIS WOOGA SQUAD AND OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT

THAT JUST HURT NOT GONNA LIE

Everyday I go on his page I'm holding my breathe cos I know I'm gonna see something that's gonna break mi heart😔

His friendship with Jungkook is the only good thing happening right now for me so you see when you come into my Ask and complain about it I get really confused.

On top of him shitting on my Bangtan friendship goals, vmin lesbian agenda, Taejin senpai you want him to shit on Tae kook too?? Now ma'm💀💀💀💀

I'm more terrified of him deciding not to Bangtan anymore and running off to form a band with his wooga squad 🥴

I already lost one direction I'm not gonna lose BTS😭

The world can't lose BTS😭😭😭😭😭

And we can't have a BTS reunion if the members hate each other or feel disconnected from one another so much they decide they've found their calling else where. I'm terrified Suga and Tae might not want to come back to the group- Don't ask me why. It's just a fear I have. So as much as I hate tuktukkers, I have bigger concerns.

I'm glad to see and hear Jungkook wildcard making efforts to connect with the members. He's initiating contact, inviting them to his place- THAT'S A GOOD THING. IT'S GOOD. IT MEANS THERE'S NO BAD BLOOD AND DRAMA BREWING ANYWHERE.

I'm happy to see Tae showed up with Hobi- Makes me wonder where Park Jimin was and what he was doing and why he didn't show up 👀

We could have had this. JM blocked our blessings 😩

I will miss Hobi for this😔

He's always there for his members when they need him. Such a beautiful human soul.

Guys sometimes lets pause and smell the roses and enjoy the little moments.

Hobi will soon be gone and we might not see him show up in lives like this anymore. If Jk is feeling lonely and he reaches out he might only have Tae to show up for him😔

Now imagine if Tae is gone too😭

Tae might not be doing this for others we wish he would do for, but I think he has since their Solo been a good friend to Jk. And he's been consistent with it. He's always there for him. Perhaps because more than anyone else, he knows and understands whatever JK is struggling with post their Solo announcement.

Jimin used to be like that too you know. I keep saying jm and Tae are very similar in some regards.

And I think this is better than him being snobbish towards Jk and acting passive aggressively towards him or blatantly telling him no like he said he did in soop when Jk asked him out for drinks🥴

Those days were wild.

While I don't think tuktuk are dating, I think they have a very good friendship these days. One that ought to be admired not shit on. We are not tuktukkers. Remember that.

But I take your comments about him doing all this to deliberately fuel drama seriously. I'll look into it. Just know that he's a bit of a troll🤣

If it gets on your nerves so much then it's usually a sign you are being trolled hard🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If not then sis you just might be a hater in which case I can't help you💀

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the-little-knight · 4 months

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Is Gustavo different in this AU, personality wise? Or is he still the sweet and supportive friend? Same with Peppino?

(I LOVE THIS AU IDEA BY THE WAY AAAA ♥️♥️♥️♥️)

(THANK YOU!!!! 💖💖💖💖)

Gustavo still more or less maintains the supportive friend angle, but definitely gained a sharper edge with it after the tower fell, mostly for his own sake of survival. (I have a surreal vision in my head of him practically choking Noise and Pepperman out after finding out they were some of the main reasons the laser was able to be developed in the first place........) So basically imagine sweet cheery Gustavo, but with the angry edge of a cornered animal that could snap at any moment.

In a few words, caring, protective, snappy, and volatile.

As for Peps??? Well, he became a lot more emotionally walled off after the tower fell. Pizzahead scared the shit out of him, but seeing Gustavo and Fakey (and hell, even Brick) become just as on edge as he himself was when the tower was still up made him feel like he had to be in charge. He's very touch starved, anxious, and depressed if someone manages to crack through, though.

So in a few words, distant, sharp, snappy, and anxious. (AND HE NEEDS A GODDAMN HUG......)

#pizza tower au #pizza tower deconstructed #Deconstructed Gustavo #Deconstructed Peppino

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pineapple-on-spaghetti · 10 days

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(Reupload from yesterday because I needed to change the picture cus I edited it a little and Tumblr wouldn't let me just edit the post for some reason)

Since it's Fake Peppino Friday, I'm deciding to give you guys my version of Fakey early whilst I work on my AU's masterpost!

Fake Peppino, named "Pepin", was the first Peppino clone to be created, and instead of being a gooey frog boy, he is instead a living doll! More specifically, one of those dolls with the soft, floppy bodies and the hard, plastic heads. He, as were most of the other clones, were created by Bruno Bruschetta, who replaces him as the 4th boss of the tower (At least for the first 2 phases), and he had kept Pepin locked in the basement of his Pizzeria for years, which led to him slowly becoming insane due to his constant loneliness.

When the tower began to collapse, Pepin was still locked in the basement and had no way of getting out, and after a small freakout, he curled up and basically just accepted his fate as the tower collapsed onto him. Poor Pepino was left in pretty rough shape after that, but he was luckily eventually found by Noisette, who took him in and patched him up before adopting him (Despite Noise's desperate intervention). She's also the one who gave him the name Pepin.

Pepin tends to be very clingy to Noisette, getting very upset/sad if he is without her at any time, because he's desperate to stay with the only person who's been willing to give him love. Thankfully, Noisette doesn't mind his clinginess to her.

#fake peppino #pepin #had to delete the entire post and reupload it just so i could put in a slightly edited picture. i mean come on man #tumblr i thought we were friends. why would you do this to me

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kittencatsmitsmack · 2 months

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Something that i didn't know i needed in my life lool but yea here's what I think of him personally, though I think he is on the scary side a little more because I really love scary monsters a lot and he's a unknown character too because the game doesn't really share that much backstory nor much of his personality outside of his boss fight and few of the ending credit cut scenes so there's a lot left on the air on him still. He is also pretty cute and funny as well and it really makes him a very interesting character as well since at the end of the game he seems a lot more content and happy after the tower is gone and is just tagging along with the other bosses in the real Peppino's restaurant at the end just chilling and vibing lol. So yea idk what else to add here other then I really like him as a character a lot lmao.

Also here's the original post here: https://www.tumblr.com/technically-a-kiwi/743152224573734912/for-this-weeks-fakey-friday?source=share

#pizza tower #fake peppino #my thoughts

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fennecfics-the-simp-king · 1 year

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My only version of Stanley that I like

THE REST OF THE ART (which is a lot) IS BELOW!!!

I got obsessed with Pizza Tower on this page, and drew the Noise a lot. I also made an OC for it, which I named Pepper Butternut (aka Pizza Bandit).

More things of the noise, one tiny redesign of Pizza Bandit, and Fake Peppino/Bruno.

More Fakey, my first drawing of Pizzano, and another Pizza Tower (Specifically Sugary Spire) OC of mine.

Washed up Italian man, Pizzano being silly, and my Sugary Spire OC again.

Okay, I feel like I need to explain my Sugary Spire OC at this page. Ms. Sugarman is supposed to be Pizzano’s spouse, because I noticed how there wasn’t really a character for Noisette’s role.

The Overseer. They’re my favorite character ever. I love them. You’ll probably see more of them in my other posts.

The Overseer with another character, which I named Harry Brighting. I am a little ashamed to say that he is inspired off of The Narrator from The Stanley Parable.

I am still a little ashamed, because now that I look at it, he’s just a blatant copy of The Narrator (except human). I’ll see if I can change him.

Badly drawn Pizzahead, also I watched The Mask (with Jim Carrey) around the time I drew this.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been making more feminine characters recently. This is my Welcome Home persona, Ms. Bluebell. She’s a gardener. I’m still working on her :,)

A few concepts of Kandy for my Kandy Park story.

My usual persona in The Stanley Parable.

I also drew my version of (Y/n) working at Peppino’s Pizza for their instagram account.

A small drawing of The Overseer with color.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my art dump, since it’s been a while since I did one of those-

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marclef · 25 days

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OKAY HELL YEAH THE POWER'S BACK ON HERE SO, VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!!

SOME-FUCKING-HOW I'VE GOTTEN TO ✨300✨ FOLLOWERS!!!!!

I DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE BUT, I AM BEYOND AMAZED BY THE SUPPORT AND LOVE YOU'VE ALL GIVEN ME SO THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! ❤❤❤ YOU'RE ALL TOO SWEET AND KIND AND I LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU /PLAT 🤗

this came a lot sooner than i expected, so i didn't have the best of plans to celebrate... but i do have a good Babysitter Fakey to offer. i hope you like him 😊

and... some ramblings under the cut, if anyone cares about hearing me yell for a moment...

but.... let me just say that, moving my art onto Tumblr has been one of the best decisions i've ever made. the love and support from here compared to Instagram is unreal, and, something i never saw coming, i've actually made some real close friends here. and me being the socially-awkward weirdo i am, it really means a lot to me. you guys have been helping me feel not just better about myself, but helping me reach out and talk to others like me, it's just insane. i genuinely mean it, thank you guys so much. you're the best ❤😭❤

and another thing..... i've been a bit busy with stuff lately, but i promise i'm trying to work on stuff! i've got a few drawing asks i really need to work on, and as for my writing..... okay i still haven't started it. but i AM trying to figure out how best to write it, because i plan on doing both split parts AND drawings for it. i want to make sure it comes out the best it possibly can. but stay tuned, there's a lot i've got to finish up!

..... oh alright. one more bonus if you've made it this far. lo and behold: the very first art piece i ever posted to Tumblr, not thinking i'd be moving fully onto here hehe 😅 enjoy Peppino's old design in all its full glory ✨✨✨

ain't he a beaut'.

#ghghgggghhhhHH so much stuff to get to today!!! now that i have power back i can actually goddang do them!!!#but hey!! this was important!! it's always important to tell you all how much i love ya's!!!#now to try and power through some of those asks because I'VE BEEN SITTING ON THEM FOR A WHILE I'M SORRY 😭#my art #pizza tower oc #pizza tower fake peppino #eyhm stuff #i'll make a seperate post of just the Fakey picture with no text too so you guys can enjoy it 😁#okay got like 20 different things to go do now so i gotta go!!!! see ya and peace and love!!!

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gaykarstaagforever · 24 days

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MOVIES I AM SURPRISED I HAVEN'T SEEN

Predator (1987)

This is weird to me, because I love the Predator(s) as a monster, and I've seen a bunch of terrible Italian and Hong Kong movies that were shamelessly ripping this off. And I love Arnold more than I should. But I was 5 when this movie came out, and by the time I was old enough to see it without it giving me terrible nightmares, I didn't have an older brother or cousin to illicitly show it to me (which I'm pretty sure is how most people around my age saw it). Plus it was immediately eclipsed by all of the "Xtreme" 90s action movies it inspired, many starring Arnold, so it kind of immediately got lost in the shuffle of that VHS world.

Going into it without nostalgia and only an eye-rolling regard for most of the other movies in the franchise (most of which I also don't remember seeing more than bits of), I can say that it is a better movie than it has any right to be. But it is also kind of a mess. Basic B-.

The performances are pretty good. Carl Weathers (RIP) is fantastic as always, and Arnold is Arnold, though he seems like he's playing three different characters at various points. Which makes sense, because this feels like it is at least three different movies edited together.

One is a serious war movie about big men killing in a jungle, because they got tricked into doing it by the CIA. Another is a goofy macho over-the-top action blockbuster parody, where Arnold does one-liners and everyone else is hamming it up with random sex jokes and wacky character beats. Then the third is an action-horror movie where a lone desperate man is hunted and hunts a murderous alien monster. Accompanied by a score from a hypothetical Steven Spielberg movie about toys coming to life to save Christmas from a mean old troll.

No part of any of this gets to work on its own for more than 3 minutes, before another part of one of the other movies, or the godforsaken score, elbows its way in to throw it off. There is absolutely no tonal consistency. Which isn't automatically a bad thing, but kind of is here. I'm supposed to care about these characters enough that I care they are being murdered by a Space creature; but I don't, because I'm too distracted by which movie is doing what to them right now. If I was 14 I probably wouldn't have cared, but as an adult, I just can't get into it.

Especially not with that score. Oh my god. It's a good score, just for a totally different movie. This story needed some incidental drums and maybe a synth hook as a theme for the Predator. What it gets is a full orchestral score that has to scream the intended emotion of a scene at me like I'm not paying attention. It is unbearable and ruins everything, constantly. I very nearly watched the last 20 minutes on mute. It is just...stop. Leave me alone, inappropriate string section.

Another highly unnecessary thing is the stupid "Predator vision" sequences. The Predator is only on screen for like 15 minutes of the hour, 47 minute runtime, but I swear it feels like 45 minutes of this movie is eye-straining incomprehensible fakey thermal vision POV shots from the Predator's helmet cam.

Was this exciting new technology in 1987? It must have been, because why else would there be so much of it? And no, it doesn't build tension or reveal anything notable about the Predator. It serves no structural purpose. It just wastes valuable time that would be better used actually showing the Predator. There is exactly one cool shot using it, and that shot would have been just as cool as a regular camera shot:

As for the legitimate good, the special effects - the practical Predstor costume, his invisibility shield and weapons, all of the gory killings and explosions and gunfire - are great. As I said, Carl Weathers is the only character who is tonally consistent throughout, and I have no doubt that is mostly due to his skill as an actor. It is a genuine shame he isn't the one who survived long enough to force the Predator to rage-quit.

The last 20 minutes are the absolute best part and should have been most of the movie, where Arnold is unarmed, caked in mud, using the jungle and improvised traps to confuse and abuse the Predator. It unfortunately raises questions about how skilled the Predator actually is at the one thing he does, since with all his advanced alien tech, he can't see you if you're muddy for some reason, and he also won't kill you with a gun unless you have a gun, even if he's been hunting you and you've been seriously wounding him with sticks for like 2 days. I realize he has to folllow these kinds of rules to make the fight fair. But it also makes me wonder if the Predator is just a big narcissist whose hubris makes him a shitty hunter. You're whole thing is hunting sentient creatures in swamps, you boob. Probably get mask goggles that can see them when they get dirty?

Especially when the movie makes it clear that he, or other Predators, have been doing this shit in this exact area for decades, at least. Like, figure it out already, guys. You have interplanetary space flight, but Earth mud kills your laser / nuclear advantage? Please.

Also, how does the "fair fight" crap apply when you're strapped with both an advanced first aid kit AND a suicide vest? Those are a perpetual unfair advantage. Being weird about things because the prey dropped their gun or ran out of ammo seems arbitrarily pedantic.

Also also, you as a species are 8 feet tall, can leap from tree to tree, and have massive punching daggers mounted on your wrists. Tossing your own gun to wrestle a tired human man isn't being fair, it is cheating a little differently. Why bother? What do you gain by this?

Especially when you know that if you lose, you're going to explode, and take several surrounding acres out with you?

It is still a cool premise and a cool monster, and the movie overall is way, way better than it could have been. It has parts that are good, and lots of fun, idiotic 1980s action movie lines that we have been rightly quoting for 37 years. It is gratuitous fun, and that feels like all it intended to be, so good on it. But it's no RoboCop or Total Recall or anything. Paul Verhoeven always nails the hambone tone of these kinds of things, even when he's making something awful like Showgirls. That's hard to do, and Predator doesn't quite manage it.

I think a lot of the intense love for this movie is simple nostalgia. And that's fine. But that doesn't make it a great movie.

#arnold schwarzenegger #carl weathers #predator 1987 #movie review #movies i am surprised i haven't seen

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toastedjeans · 3 months

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Okay so i might make Siren AU into a thing. Got some very loose thoughts / this is basically just me brainstorming (if anyone has any ideas please don't hesitate to tell me)

Peppino can't swim. He just sits in his shitty little boat while fishing one day and suddenly gets attacked by probably Pizzahead or Pizzaface. Gustavo sees him struggling and panicking, and saves him from almost drowning.

I already made some concept doodles for Gustavo, he's basically a mermaid but with a shark tail and those fin thingies instead of ears. Round little shark man <3 He also doesn't inherently think humans are evil or something, when someone's in distress he tries to help as best as he can. He can get very protective over friends and loved ones tho. Don't anger him. You'll regret it.

The sirens probably can't speak human language, with a few exceptions. Pizzahead probably learned it from (obsessively) observing humans, and then tried teaching it to Fakey. Fakey can speak fractions of sentences or words, but it mostly sounds like gibberish. He doesn't speak often though, mostly communicates with croaks, gurgles, and other noises. I like to imagine Gustavo tries to learn to speak human language so he can communicate with Peppino better (bonus points if his first full sentence for some reason is "I'm going to kill you", not knowing what it means and scaring the shit out of Peppino)

Fakey stays a frog, but with like. A tail, like when frogs are in that transitional phase between tadpole and frog ya know. But still humanoid looking, i mean he has to look like Peppino, right? Created by Pizzahead out of literal frog DNA and.. anger? Jealousy? Unhealthy obsession? All of the above? Idk yet

Mr. Stick is probably one of the few characters that stay human, and he's one of Peppino's friends/acquaintances

Not sure if Brick should stay a rat, possibly even Peppino's (involuntary) pet, or some kinda fish that's already Gustavo's friend. Although it'd be fun if Brick just lives with Pep, and Pep can't get rid of him no matter what he does, so he reluctantly keeps him.

I literally have no ideas for Pepperman and Vigilante. All i could think of for Vigi rn is uh. Sea slug. But Pepperman?? Zero clue. Head empty. Help.

Got two thoughts for the Noises, either Noise is a human too, but Noisette is a siren luring him in (or vice versa!), or both of them are sirens. Option 2 would make more sense to me, but option 1 seems interesting too.. OR secret option 3, Noise and Noisette are both creatures that transform depending on if they're in water or on land. Peppino doesn't know this. The Noises act like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Pizzahead as either a regular siren or maybe like. An octopus/squid? Kinda like Ursula from Ariel idk. Or maybe an eel. Idk why

I still think it'd be funny if Pizzaface was a flat fish. I forgot what they're called but the mental image is so funny to me. Flat fuck.

Pizzahead probably got the idea of cloning Peppino cause he once saw how strong he is, and thought he would need that kinda strength for the war between him and.. other creatures.. i actually haven't thought about that one.. who would he even be against? Are the other bosses on his side? Is he trying to start a war between sirens and humans bc of people like Peppino fishing all the time? Or have humans started a war against the sirens in ancient times and it's still in their nature to despise humans because of that?

#toast talk #pizza tower #this post is a mess #you can tell I'm struggling to come with anything worthwile #anyway feedback or help is appreciated #i can already tell people are gonna lose interest in this au just bc this post is so shit #and by people i mean. the two people who expressed their interest in the tags #ANYWAY TOAST IS RAMBLING IN THE TAGS AGAIN I'M SORRY #Siren Tower AU

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nymphpriestessvalkyrie · 3 months

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Sathia is the queen bee mean girl I wish SJM would have the guts and commit to making Elain.

✅ Navigating social politics

✅ A history of wealth and privilege and an understanding of how to use it

✅ Standing up for their new partner to a powerful bully, while demanding they harbor refugees

I need Elain to treat Rhys like Sathia treats Flynn. I need people to understand that she makes mean jokes at others’ expense and then laughs at them. I need her to rule a little and be a social dom. Because right now I love Sathia and think Elain is being two-faced to play nice when she doesn’t need to.

End the era of fakey niceness! Let the rich bitch, social climber, savvy court strategist out!

#sathia flynn #elain archeron

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coridallasmultipass · 3 months

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Just personal venting.

I finally rented Gurren Lagann from the library bc I'm a baby who's never seen it, but the reason I've never seen it is because I know I'm gonna like it too much, and I'm not ready to feel big emotions. Well. This has gone on for years. Like, a decade if not more. And now I finally rented it, and I'm like gonna cry I'm too scared to watch it lmao. I need someone to hold my hand but not say a word and watch it with me. I can't fucking do this lol.

I always have a problem finishing things that give me big emotions. See: my unfinished playthroughs of Cyberpunk 2077. It's my favourite game ever and I can't bring myself to play the endings again. I haven't even started Phantom Liberty yet, because all the new little things added to the regular quests are giving me too many emotions!! Panam was in my fucking apartment!! I had to set the game down for days after that.

Same thing happened when I tried playing BL3. Had to keep putting it down and doing something else because I was getting too excited bc I loved it too much.

I fucking hate this about myself soooo much. I've literally been trying to watch GL for years. And I have it in my hands. And now I'm chickening out.

Like lol, 'Cori ur a fake Bro/Dirk fan, u didn't even watch the reason he's got those shades bruh ur fake. Fakeass fakey fake.'

I can't help it tho I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack. It's just some fucking anime. It has no bearing on anything. And I'm already overwhelmed just looking at the case lol.

I'm so terrible at watching things too lol. If it requires me to sit and watch the screen, I can't do it. Maybe I should try double monitoring and just doodling nonsense on my computer while I watch. Maybe that will help? But like I don't wanna miss reading the subtitles, so... you see my problem lol.

I'll watch it before it's due, but man, taking that first step is gonna be hard.

#personal #vent #delete later / /

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