#feeling some kind of way tonight

[kingflups]

I don't know if I reblogged the post or if it's buried deep in my queue, but that post that's going around that's like,, how long have you been depriving yourself of good things, yes you get little treats but do you spend twenty dollars on something you dont necessarily need but would genuinely be nice for you just to have? The example the post gives is a rice cooker and I always thought it was a silly thing to get because I can make rice on the stove? But the post cracked something in me (and maybe it has something to do with my mental problems acting up thank you January please send the sun back thanks)

Anyway i do a lot of rice dishes because they're easy and I usually have eggs dried chives and something else in the house but for whatever reason, the last few months, i just cant bring myself to make rice. So I bought a rice cooker

I used it for the first time and I nearly cried today. It was just nice, it's such nice rice, and it's easy it's so so easy

#anyway so that post had a point #sometimes buying things that seem silly but simplify life is really good actually #feeling some kind of way tonight #im going to have an ice cream sandwich and watch dimension 20 #its so cold out I couldnt have the blinds open #i get really sad when I cant have my windows open #im sorry if this is indecipherable #flaraspeaks #i love my rice cooker #a lot actually

[joanne-deluxe]

If any mutual would like to... you know... trade pics, my dms are always open

#feeling some kind of way tonight

[queer-ecopunk]

Was chatting and joking around tonight with the lady in front of me at the supermarket as she rung up 3 carts of groceries. Ended up being $700 of stuff.

As she's paying she says something like, "I have never bought this much stuff. Usually I get like how much you have in your basket. How much do you think that is?" And I'm like, "idk, $40?"

And she's like, "I'll pay it." and hands me two twenties. Apparently she won the lottery.

#she also told me shes stolen way more than she paid from this chain so it all evens out lmao #i was feeling like shit and almoat didnt get food tonight so i feel like this is some sort of sign #birthday gift from the world #human kindness and generosity #mine #experiences

[es-draws]

Such a good piggy, she drank nearly every drop!

#my art #animation dropping tonight #this project has got me feeling some kind of way #es-draws

[coughloop]

.

#idk how many people actually go to protests and marches and vigils on this site #but i think tonights was the first time ive ever felt kind of dissapointed by one #not because of the vigil itself #i guess i was just hoping a vigil in front of the local israeli conculate for ALL martyrs would've drawn more than like 50 -75 people #yes it was below freezing yes it was windy #but were all people who live in a cold city #and can dress warm for it #and know how to tough it out #and even if we werent its such a tiny discomfort for such a short amount of time to act like its a reason to not go to something #idk i guess i thought more people were deeply enough affected by Refaat and Hind and Aaron and every other martyr we know by name #and the thousands and thousands and thousands we dont #to show up and stand in the cold for a little while #to feel like we can honour them in some way #to hear Refaat's words read allowed (which has hurt consistently but is so important to feel) #idk where im going with it i think i just need to get it all out #its been a very weird day

[ardberts]

a greater woman wouldn't beg but i looked to the sky and said, "please, change the prophecy. don't want money, just someone who wants my company."

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #gpose #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv oc #ffxiv wol #warrior of light #wol #oc: nara #my edits #i am feeling some kind of way tonight.

[a9saga]

how many times do i have to say for now let's eavesdrop on the houseguests live from outside the big brother house i'm julie chen moonves love one another

#when did julie start signing off w the phrase 'love one another' #was it when she became a born again christian or was it after some kind of tragic event #because both make sense #this show was on before 9/11 even happened it would have made sense at any time #double eviction night tonight was pretty tame tbh #matt and jag got their final five they wanted #i was hoping america would stay tbh i thought that would make for a way more interesting next week of gameplay #if cirie and america turned to each other out of necessity... that would have been FASCINATING #if both blue and felicia were gone i feel like america would become the one cirie would really start talking to #i'd have honestly liked to see her revitalize her game but whatever #bb25 #big brother #big brother 25 #shut up kaily

[ranpd]

i think those post that are like “if you could choose not to have [disability/disorder] would you?” because at a first glance its an instant yes. i would give anything not to be autistic or borderline or disabled. but once i stop and think about it, who am i without that? who am i without a hyperfixation i talk about with my best friend, both of us stimming on the floor? who am i without the obsession of someone who will deal with the ups and downs of it because they love me in spite of it; because of it? who am i without wondering who am i?, the countless possibilities of answers within me? who am i without the pain? who am i without that difference?

#i dont know its just #im feeling some kind of way tonight

[i-mybrunettelady]

Also out of like, sheer curiosity, this is a question for my mutuals: do you read the tags on the things I post? I literally gain nothing from you saying yes or no, so no ill will or anything, I'm just curious how much my tags reach people

#nero polls #im also a nosy bitch lmao #also have been feeling some kind of way tonight so like. curiosity

[hershelchocolateart]

Something I forgot about the difference between Tumblr and Instagram (or at least the one I'm thinking about right now) is that I'll post something on Instagram, get the handful of likes from the regulars, and then poof. It's gone. Off to the ether with you. Guess I'll have to post something new

Meanwhile on Tumblr, I am STILL regularly getting likes on the bifrost incident stained glass piece. Definitely not as many but they're still coming. USUALLY it's the few people I'm friends with sharing a thing once or twice and then that goes into the ether too, but when one of my drawings goes past the normal circle of friends I'm getting notifs on that for DAYS.

Plus, it's never fully gone! I can go reblog my older art whenever I want! Whereas on Instagram you'd just. I don't know. Post the same thing again? Which sucks. What if I just want to remind someone that something exists? What if I don't have anything new or special to say? What if I just went "Oh yeah I still really like this piece" and then I bring it back to the top so other people can see it too.

Also the you can only post squares thing. Who the HELL made a site around sharing art and images and said you can only use perfect squares. FUCK you

#having thoughts about art tonight and this one felt relevant so yall get ir #*it #not art #i am STILL getting the ocassional like on the mechs sketchbook page #meanwhile i posted my most recent (and current favorite) one to instagram at APPARENTLY a weird time #cause only a third of the usual people have seen it #and i have NO way to bump it again. absolutely zero. the algorithm sees all and it wants me dead #tumblr is a way less useful site if you want to be professional with your work #but its way better for actually getting that validation #that people like your stuff and would like you to keep making it #i dunno it feels different #i always have to try to get the most traction possible on instagram #meanwhile over here i go 'i thought this would be fun!! i wanted to post it because maybe some of you #who are stuck in small dead fandom hell would like it too!' #AND THEN THEY DO #AND THEY ARE SO OPENLY KIND #i dont know. I Dont Know. im having thoughts

[jentlemahae]

anyone else have no idea what they wanna do in life

#honestly glad im doing a master’s cause i have no idea whatsoever of what kind of job i want or what i wanna do #idek where i wanna live #and like idk if companies i like would even hire me #ugh idk why im thinking about this tonight #adulthood is so much pressure and i feel like there’s way too many things i could do but also ….. not ? idk #i miss being young and knowing exactly what i wanna do #also i cant wait to start my masters im so bored rn #also i am really hoping to make some actual friends so yay

[daisychainsandbowties]

Re: being in the kitchen with other people, my partner and I have a system where was ask each other "do you want help, company, or for me to fuck off?" and if it's company, we have (ninja turtle) bar stools on the far side of the kitchen island, so we can hang out but not annoy the one who's cooking. Otherwise we'd kill each other

this is so beautiful i’m actually making this face right now 🥹🥹 i am not a great cook so it’s a source of awe to me, watching someone put a meal together & something about how food can be a love language and hands chopping and squeezing and dicing and stirring and the sizzle of heat & oil & fat bouncing onto the backs of hands. the “i love you. eat” & the smells & steam billowing & watching someone move & make decisions & god yeah i just find it so attractive

your little system is so sweet & i love that too how you make space for each other & move gracefully around each other that is romance to me it’s the constant repetiton of i care i care i care wrapped around the simplest motions of our lives

#i’m feeling Some Kind of Way tonight but god. yeah. exactly this #it’s all about this actually i’m going to cry #🥺🥺❤️❤️ #anon

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much. #but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this. #and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not. #and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine. #but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad. #because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that. #but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent. #and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried. #and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over. #i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.

[arcademgmt]

ultra moon has been exceedingly kind to me in the shiny odds department over the years because it is trying to apologize to me for being the origin of what went on to warp my mind and soul forever

#context i picked it up to do some soft resetting while i tried to get to sleep bc i just kinda had the urge #and it's a mindless thing that has helped me fall asleep before #cue like. maybe 15 minutes in tops. under 20 resets. shiny mewtwo #and even with the absolute lowest odds you can get in this game that is Fucking Absurd #and this is the same game i had a like. 4 reset shiny palkia in #i think every single reset hunt i've done has flown WAY under odds #which is kind of funny considering my brother has gone over double odds with the same base odds before. Erm #anyways thank you ultra moon very cool #i actually want to hunt gen 4 rayquaza but i have to do some work so i can actually meet the conditions for it to show up #i wanted to start gen 4 mewtwo tonight but i did not bc UM was already in my 3ds #and i simply Did not feel like getting up to find heartgold. oh well #i have been itching for the masochism of older gen full odds for a while and just haven't gotten around to it #actually editing tags to add this bc it makes it funnier somehow #but my egg hunts in the original moon. not ultra moon. which have better odds than the resets. have historically been terrible #and way over odds #but for some godforsaken reason ultra moon reset hunts have always been like. blink and you might miss it

[fettery-fetterie]

Red lights spin, the alarms are going off

-An intruder.

Run around, pick what you gotta fast, they know I'm here

-This is gonna be fun.

Shit. They got me

-Too easy.

...

-...

Here my life lies, my future spilling from my head, I can barely feel my body

And they laugh, they laugh so bastardly, I wish I could have the strength to cry it out

It's helpless. I'm helpless

...

And then, the first hit

And the second

And the third

All cooled out

Do I have to wonder where I got this from? I can't afford that, the pipe leads my way

-Oh, it's you again.

Rush through, knock them, it's about survival now

-Now this is where the fun begins.

Gunshots

-My specialty.

And I bleed

-And you bleed.

The adrenaline gets to me

-Precious wounds from you for me.

Your boys are down

-We're alone

You're alone

-And so scared. My heart rushes. You...it's you!

-You're War! You're what I have been looking for!

-Please...! Your end! My end! All here and now!

I'm just so tired, and I don't feel like working overtime

-What...?

My shift's over. I'm done here.

-No...! NO!

#perceptive little crow #omg hiiiii hi hello. i made some connections and I'm going insane <3 #'have you completely misunderstood another character?' yes i did <3 #i just believe it would be super cool if he was like. completely idealizing the idea of teo as like. a symbol of violence and war #man so obsessed with that bitch he'd go insane over one (1) woman almost killing his stupid ass #bc he didn't feel that kind of rush and struggle and fear and ecstasy for so long. he wants more #and he dreams of the day they can finally get each other's hands on each other. and fight tooth and nail til one falls #and only bc this is about him specifically but I'd also love to talk about teo's potential weight on her shoulders that would be being #the first of like. an entirely new professional career? and a potentially dangerous one at that? like how she'd be the one to set just *so* #many standards about how to deal with myths...oh. how lovely that sounds #ok enough rambling for tonight #I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION #bc he doesn't get to fight his 'goddess' he lashes out to anyone on her same field. bc he seems them as mere troops which do nothing but #stay in the way of 'their righteous fight' #but also as a way to get even a drop of the same adrenaline he felt that day #ok that's all

[shieldslinger]

taps mic

steve is actually one of the (physically) weaker avengers in any line up, and while he is the only super soldier derived from the super soldier serum in existence, there are many who meet or exceed his strength and agility via their own means.

so why's he on the avengers and constantly the guy in charge? because he's scary smart and a brilliant tactician that'll waltz around 95% of the people out there.

#[ general ] ooc. #[ i'm having Many Feelings tonight and when they're not about bucky or tony ] #[ they're apparently about steve being Smart ] #[ i feel like it's constantly forgotten that he's *truly* one of the big brains in his own way ] #[ no he's not third genius in the world kind of smart ] #[ but he's up there ] #[ i'll go into it some day bc there is evidence ] #[ tho tbh the fact that he's bffs with tony and keeps up without batting an eye ] #[ should be evidence enough most days ]