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soccer-love · 1 year

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Little one

Alexandra Popp x reader

“Attention, the pregnant lady is coming over.” Svenja shouts as she spots me walking towards them.

I roll my eyes, since I’m pregnant Alex got really protective over me, even when we’re around her team or friends, which are normally the people she trusts the most, but I guess its just her mother instincts going crazy.

“Chill and you may remember that I have an actual name.” I say and she nods.

“Y/N Popp.” Another thing the team can't shut up about, the fact that Alex and I share a last name, even though I still use my old name while playing soccer, well I did, I haven't played since I’m pregnant.

“You got it.” Alex says as she walks over, wrapping her arms around me.

“You were good today.” I say and she softly kisses me.

“Hey Y/N.” Do greets me as she and Feli also come over, both of them wrapped in VFL Blankets.

“How are you feeling?” Feli asks, she's one of my best friend, former room mate and also going to be the godmother of our baby, when she's born, what should be in about two or three weeks.

”Really good, except that this little one is kicking my rips.” I answer and place a hand on my belly, feeling the soft movement underneath my skin.

“Well she's going to be a great soccer player one day, just like her mom.” Alex says, giving me a soft smile while laying her hand over mine.

“She?” Svenja asks.

“Alex decided that it's going to be a girl.” I explain.

“I didnt decide it, I just have a feeling that it's going to be a girl.” Alex defends her self, Feli and Do laugh while Svenja just rolls her eyes.

“Hey, sorry for interrupting you guys.” Obi cuts in “But we thought about getting dinner tonight to celebrate our last Bundesliga game of the year, feel free to bring your partners with you.”

She points at me “And future children in your case.”

Everyone agrees to come, while we make our way towards the locker rooms.

“I will hurry, so we can drive home together.” Alex says and lets go of my hand.

I chat a little bit with Tommy and the trainer team, till Alex comes back and we drive home.

“Do you want to go out with the Team tonight?” She asks, as we take of our coats and I lean down to great our dog Patch.

“Sure.”

I go and make my self some tee while I watch them, playing on the living room floor. Patch trying to get his favorite toy back while Alex holds onto it, like her live depends on it. After some minutes he's practically dragging her across the floor.

A warm feeling goes through my body and I think its just the feeling that I normally get at moments like this, the feeling of my love for this women. But when I feel something running town my legs I realize what just happened.

“Alex.” I call out but she docent look up and just hums in response.

“Alex!” I repeat, this time she stops from trying to get the toy and looks up at me.

“Yes?”

“I..um I think my water just broke.” I explain and somehow I’m way calmer then I thought I would be in this moment.

“Oh...okay, I’will get the bag we prepared and then I drive you to the hospital, okay?” she asks and gets up, I see a little bit of panic and fear in her eyes but also excitement.

“Yeah.” I answer a bit lame, she pulls me into her arms for a couple of seconds, calming me down.

“I can't wait to meet our little one.” she whispers and kisses my cheek before pulling back.

When I was about thirty weeks pregnant, so about eight weeks ago, we prepared a bag with things we would need for the hospital.

We get into our car and during the whole drive she holds my hand.

When we arrive at the hospital, they bring us into a delivery room and a nurse comes to take my vitals and a doctor comes to cheek on me.

“I called our parents and send Feli a text.” Alex explains after she comes back inside, from informing our family, and the doctor told us that everything is looking good.

“Okay.” I say, giving her a smile while she sits down next to me, placing a hand on my belly.

“I am way calmer then I thought I would be in this moment.” I admit, sharing my thought from earlier.

“Me too, but I think it's because you’re calm.” she says and leans down to kiss my forehead.

An hour goes by and I get contractions more, Dr. Deluca comes back with a nurse and they confirm that I’m now seven centimeters dilated.

“You’re lucky, Mrs. Popp, first time mothers normally take a while. Also on the ultrasound your baby looks great so its not bad that she will be broke two weeks earlier then you expected.” she explains, before looking at Alex for a second.

“We made some good experiences, that it is really comfortable if the partner sits behind the person that's giving birth, if you're willingly to do it, you can.” the nurse explains.

“Would you like me to do that?” Alex asks and I nod.

She takes off her shoes, before climbing onto the bed behind me, her legs on each side of me and I lean against her, again she grabs my hand. What would I do without her?

My thoughts get interrupted by another contraction, I reach for the nearest things to grab and find her thigh.

“Fuck.” I breath out, she softly pushes a string of hair out of my face.

“Okay, it's time to push.” Dr. Deluca informs us. “Ready?”

I nod through the pain.

“Now!”

I say and hold back a scream as I push, Alex whines a little as I squeeze her hand but she doesn't say anything.

I have no clue how fucking love it goes but I know that I’m really tired by the time Dr. Deluca tells me to push one last time.

“I can't, I can't.” I say but Alex shakes her head.

“You can, you are so strong, Y/N.” she whispers, kissing my temple “I love you.”

When I finally feel the relief and our baby is out, I feel my body relaxe.

A soft cry fills the room and I almost start crying because I’m so happy to finally meet my baby.

I watch Dr. Deluca wrap something into a towel and let my head fall back onto Alex shoulders, before a nurse comes over and softly lays the tiny body in my arms.

“Here she is, your beautiful baby girl.”

I don't know how do describe it but the second I get to look at my baby, I feel just unconditional love for this tiny human.

“Hey baby.” I whisper and she opens her eyes a little bit, she looks at me from same blue orbs Alex has.

“She’s so beautiful.” Alex whispers, wrapping one arm around me and softly brushing over the cheek of our newborn.

“Whats her name?” Dr Deluca asks, Alex gives me a questioning look and I nod.

We already choose a name, one for a girl and one for a boy.

“Charlotte Felicitas Popp.”

They give us some more minutes with our baby, before taking her to do some checkups. Alex stays with them while Dr Deluca does checks on me and a nurse helps me to get the sweat of off my body and chance into some joggers and one of Alex shirts.

After that I get my baby back and they bring us into another room, the nurse tells me to get some rest but lets us know that we should go get her when we have any questions, before leaving us alone.

Alex sits down next to me and holds Charlie for a litte while, before passing her back into my arms.

She pulls out her phone and takes some pictures, sending them to our parents and friends before sending someone a text massage.

“Hey, babe.” she says and I look up, from my babys blue eyes into hers.

“Yes?”

“Feli send me a text earlier, saying that they're outside, waiting till she's here, as a support.” she explains “Is it okay, if I leave you for a second just to tell them that everything’s fine.”

“You can bring them here, if the nurse is okay with it. I’m sure they wanna meet Charlie.” I say and Alex smiles.

“Are you okay with this?”

“Yes of curse.”

She walks out and after a couple of minutes she comes back, Feli, Obi and Svenja behind her.

“Hey.” I greet them.

“May I introduce you to Charlotte Felicitas Popp.” I say and see everyone melting by the first look they get at our baby.

“How are you two?” Sevnja asks and comes closer.

“Really good.” I say, Alex sits down next to me, wrapping one arm around me.

“You know, by saying that you could bring your child with you to our team dinner, I didn't mean it like that.” Obi jokes, making us laugh.

I open my mouth to response, that I didn't understand it like that too, when I see Feli wiping tears out of her eyes.

“You’re good buddy?” I ask and she nods.

“It’s just...she got my name.” she says now completely bursting into tears. Tears of happiness. Svenja goes and wraps an arm around her.

“Yeah but now you always have to be there for her, or I’m going to give her a different name.” I joke, making Feli laugh again.

“Thank you and I will, I’m going to be the best aunt ever. I promise.”

Well now I’m about to cry and that's exactly why I knew from the first moment of my pregnancy that Feli would be perfect as a godmother.

We chat some more, till Alex kindly asks them to leave and they wish us a goodnight.

“I love you.” I say as Alex sits down next to me again and kisses my temple, Charlie fast asleep in her arms.

“I love you too, you both.” she responses. “More then I could every tell with words.

#alexpopp #alexpoppxreader #alexandrapopp #vflwolfsburgfrauen #svenja huth #lenaoberdorf #feli rauch #felicitas rauch #woso x reader #woso imagine #lgbtq

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the-observant-frisbeetarian · 5 years

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Chapter 6

Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart by George deValier

Feliciano was immediately grateful for the warmth of the blazing fireplace as he walked through the front door. He was also grateful that Grandpa Roma and Antonio were busy talking at the front table… perhaps Grandpa would not even notice he was late. Feliciano dropped his basket on a side table and hurried over to sit next to Lovino on the couch by the stairs. It was the perfect spot to listen unobtrusively to the conversation. Lovino peered at him sideways. "You're home late," he said quietly. "Again."

Feliciano looked at his feet. "Well, it was such a pleasant afternoon, I was enjoying the walk."

"Pleasant?" Lovino's tone was doubtful. "But it's damn freezing today."

Feliciano shifted fretfully. "I like the cold."

Lovino narrowed his eyes. "No, you don't." Feliciano fidgeted with a button. "And where are the groceries? Weren't you supposed to go to the market?"

Feliciano kept his gaze on the floor. The last thing he needed was for Lovino to grow suspicious. "I meant to, but I… um… I got delayed."

"Delayed?" Lovino still sounded doubtful. "Doing what?"

"Picking flowers." Feliciano glanced nervously over at Grandpa Roma and Antonio, but they were deep in conversation.

"This is the third day in a row you have missed the market. I'm not stupid, Feliciano, I know something is up."

Feliciano looked down at Lovino's hands then stared him coolly in the eye. "I see you're not wearing your ring." Lovino narrowed his eyes, but he did not respond.

"… the fourth bombing raid harming civilians in the last month." Antonio's words caught Feliciano's uneasy attention. "These raids are flying out of the nearby German airbase which is why the American's mission is of vital importance to us. It is obvious the Germans are moving on from their counterattacks against the British. Last night their Heinkels killed nearly one hundred non military personnel."

Feliciano felt his body freeze, his mind go numb. His hands clenched onto the edge of the couch. A cold queasiness settled in his stomach. "What's a Heinkel?" he asked loudly. The room fell silent as Antonio, Roma and Lovino all stared at him. Antonio glanced inquiringly at Roma, who nodded.

"It's a German plane," explained Antonio. "A bomber."

"So, it's these Heinkels that bomb people? Not the Mrs Schmitt's?" Feliciano wasn't even thinking about what he was asking. He just had to know that Ludwig was not involved. There was no way Ludwig could be involved.

"The what?" asked Antonio. "The… Messerschmitts? Is that what you mean?"

"Yes. The Messerschmitt Bf 109."

Surprised silence fell again. Lovino broke it. "How the hell do you know what a Messerschmitt is, Feliciano?"

"I… um…" Grandpa Roma, Lovino and Antonio were all looking at him in confusion. Feliciano didn't blame them – he had never shown any interest in this kind of talk whatsoever. "I just overheard it somewhere."

"Messerschmitts are fighter planes," said Antonio. "Not bombers. They only attack other pilots."

"Not civilians?"

"No." The feeling rushing through Feliciano's chest was like an enormous sigh of relief. He almost laughed. But Antonio continued. "However… it is entirely possible that the Messerschmitts could be escorting the Heinkels, especially now that the British counterattacks have been slowing down."

"Hmm. That could be a problem for the Americans," said Roma thoughtfully.

"Yes, exactly," said Antonio, starting to sound worried. Feliciano stared at him nervously. The feeling of relief was quickly replaced by a sense of nausea. "That's definitely something we will have to look into. Where did you hear people talking about Messerschmitts, Feliciano?"

Oh no. Feliciano went numb. He just stared blankly, panic starting to rise in his chest. "I don't remember," he whispered finally. He quickly kept talking. "And I… I was just wondering… did they, the Germans, did they mean to kill civilians? Was that what they were trying to do? It could have been a mistake, couldn't it? I'm quite sure it was a mistake." Now everyone looked at Feliciano like he had gone mad.

"Does it matter?" asked Lovino angrily.

"I just wondered."

"It seems their target was a munitions factory," said Antonio. "But of course they would have known civilian casualties were an inevitability."

"But they didn't mean to?" asked Feliciano desperately. "They didn't deliberately try and kill innocent people? Why would they… why would they do that, it wouldn't make sense, would it?"

"It made sense to them during the Battle of Britain." Lovino sounded accusing and disgusted. "Ever heard of 'terror bombing'? Ask Antonio about Guernica." Feliciano did not understand what Lovino was talking about. He did not want to understand. All he could think was that this was Ludwig's faction they were talking about. Ludwig's people who had done these things. Feliciano shook his head against it.

"I can't… I don't under…"

"We don't always know what the Germans…" began Antonio.

"That's enough," said Roma abruptly. He glanced at Antonio and spoke softly. "This type of talk upsets him easily."

Feliciano wasn't sure which made him more angry – that Grandpa Roma was treating him like a child again, or that he was right this time. "I just wanted to know…"

"It's all right, Feli," said Roma calmly. "Don't upset yourself. You don't have to listen to this. In fact, I don't think it's a good idea that you do."

Feliciano's hands clenched into fists. All he could think of was Ludwig… Ludwig who was so noble, so good… "No, I want to listen, I…"

"No," said Roma firmly. Then he smiled kindly. "Look, you're tired, Feli. Did you take any photographs today?"

Feliciano's stomach dropped before he realised that there was no way Grandpa Roma could know about the photographs. "A few."

"Why don't you go and develop them and then we'll listen to the radio before we make dinner?"

Feliciano nodded reluctantly. There was nothing else to do. They obviously were not going to let him hear the end of the conversation. He fetched his camera from his basket and headed into the next room, still hearing the voices behind him.

"Is he all right?"

"It's the talk of casualties. It disturbs him."

"I understand, but I think you should ask him what he heard about their Messerschmitts, Roma. That kind of information is vital right now."

"I'll ask him," said Lovino. Feliciano grabbed a lantern and headed into the cellar. He did not want to hear anymore.

"Feliciano."

Feliciano did not turn when Lovino walked into the cellar dark room behind him. He remained focused on the film before him, turning it over slowly in the developing fluid. "Hello, Lovino."

"All right. Tell me." Lovino's voice was commanding.

"I'm sorry?" Feliciano was grateful his expression was hidden by the dark light.

"You're not yourself lately. Missing the market, coming home late. Your sudden interest in Grandpa's conversations about the cause. There's something going on."

"I don't know what you're talking about." This didn't feel right. Feliciano was used to telling Lovino everything. He felt awful having to lie about this. Lovino walked closer and Feliciano glanced up at his dark outline through the photos strung up on line.

"Well maybe you can explain something to me," Lovino continued slowly. "That chocolate you gave me the other day."

Feliciano's breath hitched. He could feel his hands start to shake. But what could Lovino know about that? "What about it?"

"I didn't give it much thought at the time," Lovino moved closer as he spoke. "But it's strange, isn't it. I mean, there hasn't been any chocolate around since the war started."

Feliciano's shoulders stiffened. Lovino knew something was wrong. He was not going to give up. "No, I... I..."

"Where did you get it?" Lovino stopped right before Feliciano, close enough that Feliciano could see him perfectly in the dim lamplight. It was times like these that Feliciano really wished he was good at lying.

"Um, someone gave it to me, and..."

Lovino held something out in his open palm and in the darkness it took Feliciano a few moments to realise what it was. When he did, his breath caught in his lungs. He couldn't move. The orange chocolate wrapper with its German writing was a silent accusation. Feliciano instantly regretted whatever silly impulse had led him to keep it. He swallowed dryly. "I found it."

"I thought you said someone gave it to you."

"I forgot. I mean, I forget. I don't know. I don't..." Feliciano raised his eyes in fear to meet Lovino's gaze. But Lovino wasn't looking at him. He was staring at Feliciano's hands, unmoving, the dim glow of the lantern throwing just enough light on his face to reveal his confused, almost furious expression. Feliciano felt dizzy. His hands shook uncontrollably. Slowly, unwillingly, he followed Lovino's gaze to the photographs he held in his shaking fingers. Two photographs, side by side. One of Ludwig, the iron cross at his neck plain and clear. One of Feliciano wearing his jacket. It felt like hours that they stood like that, still, silent, the photographs a proven indictment between them. Feliciano finally let out the breath he had been holding. "Lovino..."

"I never... I never expected..." Lovino shook his head, astonished, almost speechless. "Is this a mission?" he asked softly, his words choked out. "A mission no one told me about?"

Feliciano wished he knew what to say. But he didn't. So he just told the truth. "No. It's not a mission."

Lovino picked up the photograph and held it before Feliciano's eyes. "Do you see that coat?" He sounded calm. Too calm. "Did you look at those symbols on that coat you're wearing?" Feliciano tried to look away but Lovino moved the picture before him. "Do you know what they stand for?"

"I didn't think about that, it wasn't about that! I was just cold and Ludwig..."

"Ludwig?" Lovino's voice was dangerously controlled.

"That's his name," Feliciano whispered.

"His name. This German soldier you have a photograph of... whose coat you're wearing."

Feliciano did not know what to say. He did not know what Lovino wanted him to say. "He's not a soldier, he's a pilot."

Lovino laughed bitterly. "Oh, I see. Well, that makes sense now. But I really don't give a shit what section of the military he belongs to. He's a German, isn't he?"

"Yes," Feliciano whispered, closing his eyes. He couldn't lie anymore.

"And you have a photograph of him because..."

"Because he's... he's my... friend."

Lovino's rage finally exploded. Feliciano winced as Lovino shouted. "Feliciano, you complete idiot, what the hell are you thinking! Have you gone completely insane? What have you told him?"

Feliciano's eyes flew open. Lovino's face was twisted in stunned fury. "No! It's not like that, I swear! He just… he's really nice, Lovino, even though he looks scary, he's not, he's..."

"Have you lost your mind?" Lovino cried. Feliciano did not stop speaking.

"...and we don't speak about the war, or about the cause, or any of it, I just like to be with him, and..."

"Oh God, Feliciano, stop, what the hell are you saying…"

"And he's honourable and good and he likes being with me and I… I think I'm in love with him." A deafening silence fell. For a second Feliciano thought Lovino was going to hit him. Instead Lovino just stared, shook his head, and finally staggered back and fell into the closest chair.

"Feliciano, you complete idiot," Lovino whispered, wide eyed.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."

"Oh, Feli." Lovino leant forward, his head in his hands. "I knew you had been acting differently lately. I would have noticed earlier if I hadn't been..." He cut off and took a shaky breath. "How did you even meet him?"

Feliciano spoke softly as he stared at his feet. "When I was walking to the village, last week, an angry soldier tried to hit me, but Ludwig stopped him."

"Does he know you're Resistenza?"

"Of course not!"

Lovino stared at Feliciano with a steely gaze. "Do you know what he would do to you if he did?"

Feliciano shook his head obstinately. "No. No, he would never hurt me, I know it, he..."

"Do you have any idea what Gestapo..."

Feliciano refused to listen. "I told you, he's a pilot! He's not Gestapo, he's not like that!"

"What did you think..."

"I don't know. I don't know, I didn't think anything, I don't care, please stop asking me these questions, I don't have any answers, I just love him and want to be with him and that's all I know and oh God, please, please don't tell Grandpa, he'll..."

Lovino stood slowly. "Feliciano. I don't think you realise how serious this is."

Feliciano's stomach turned cold and his hands shook again. He dreaded to think what Grandpa Roma would do if he knew. "Please Lovino. Don't tell Grandpa."

"Of course I won't tell him. It would kill him." Feliciano's gut twisted. "But you must never see this German again."

Feliciano's heart sunk even as his head swum with an overwhelming panic. He shook his head against Lovino's world destroying words. "No."

"I'm serious, Feli, this is not a game!"

"You can't stop me," said Feliciano. He tried to sound threatening. He knew he was pleading. He blinked back his rapidly rising tears. "You can't stop me from seeing him."

Lovino's eyes softened and he took a step closer to Feliciano, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. Feliciano flinched away. "Feli, you must have realised that he would not be stationed here forever. You must have known that this was going to end. I mean, what did you think was going to happen?"

Feliciano's heart pounded and his mind went blank. He had always known that Ludwig would not be here forever. But he had thought they would have more time. And he had never imagined Lovino would be the one to end this. "Please." Feliciano prepared himself to beg, to scream, to tell Lovino he had it all wrong, to fight, to run, to do anything to end this nightmare and make sure he got back to Ludwig once more. But before he could speak another word, Grandpa Roma opened the door and walked into the room.

"Come on boys, I thought we were going to listen to the radio before dinner!" Feliciano quickly hid his tear stained face and thrust the incriminating photographs into his jacket. Roma stopped short and looked from Feliciano to Lovino. "Is something wrong?"

"No," said Lovino quickly. "We were just coming now."

Feliciano woke while it was still dark. He glanced towards Lovino and heard nothing but his breathing. The night before, neither had said another word about Ludwig. But Feliciano had quickly made up his mind. He was not going to let Lovino stop him. He would not let anyone stop him from getting to Ludwig. If it meant he had to leave before anyone was awake and wait by the oak tree all morning until Ludwig arrived, well that was what he would do.

Feliciano dressed carefully, quietly, looking apprehensively out the window at the dark pre-dawn light. He hated the dark. But there was no other choice. Feliciano padded softly past Lovino, hearing no change in his breathing, then into the hall and out the front door. He closed the door gently behind him, pulled his jacket close against the cold, and headed towards the oak tree.

Walking quickly in an attempt to warm up a little, Feliciano glanced uneasily at the storm clouds visible through the dawn light on the horizon. They were growing closer overhead, though it should be a few days yet before the storm. He headed off the road, past the broken down tank, and into the field, grateful that no one ever ventured into this field or by the oak tree these days. He would have complete privacy to sit and dream and wait impatiently until Ludwig arrived. But as Feliciano approached the tree, his skin turned cold when he realised that someone was sitting beneath it. Confused and scared, he slowed to a dawdling pace, unsure whether to turn and run or walk closer and see who it could be. A local farmer? A resistance member come early to the village outskirts on their way to visit Grandpa Roma? Feliciano took another step and gasped, unsure he was seeing properly. His heart leapt, fire burned through his veins, and he ran.

"Ludwig! Ludwig, what on earth…" Feliciano was stunned. It was dangerous for Ludwig to walk here at this time. If an armed resistance member saw a German officer alone on the road before sunrise… "What are you doing here so early? It's not yet morning…"

Ludwig looked up with red eyes through messy, tangled hair. He leant against the tree, his clothes unusually crumpled, his handsome face weary and drawn. He looked exhausted. "Feliciano."

A shock of fear and confusion ran through Feliciano. He had never seen Ludwig like this. Never imagined the strong, composed pilot could look like this. Concern flooded him and he fell to his knees beside Ludwig. "What's wrong? Ludwig, what happened?"

"I'm sorry, Feliciano." Ludwig's voice was low and rough. "I'm so sorry. I should not be here, I…"

"Ssh. Stop. It's all right." Feliciano reached out a hand then snatched it back, unsure of what to do. It hurt to see Ludwig like this. "You look like you haven't slept…"

"I haven't. I came here immediately after…" Ludwig closed his eyes painfully and ran a hand through his unusually messy hair. "Mein Gott, I will be disciplined for this."

"After? After what?"

Ludwig made an attempt at a smile. "It was a bad night, Feliciano. That's all. It was a bad night." Ludwig broke off shakily. "I just… I just needed to…" He looked down into his hands, his gaze unseeing, his eyes hollow and dark. His next words came in a whisper. "I had to be reminded that there is something innocent in the world." Feliciano winced at that. Innocent. He settled slowly against the tree, reached out hesitantly and took Ludwig's hand in his. Ludwig let out a shuddering breath and gripped it tightly.

Feliciano did not know what to say. There was nothing to say. He just held to Ludwig's hand and tried to swallow past the rising lump in his throat. With a sickening pull at his gut Feliciano remembered Grandpa and Antonio's conversation from the night before. He desperately hoped that wasn't the reason for Ludwig's manner this morning. He realised it probably was. And that it did not change anything. It was so easy to forget the horrible things they had said when Ludwig was right in front of him.

Ludwig leant forward and put his head in his hand. "I could not stay at the base. Not after this. Not after our mission last night. I could not stand to be around them. And I could not think of anywhere I needed to be more than here. I want to forget everything. I need... I just need..."

"To get away from everything?" Ludwig looked up at Feliciano, almost startled. Feliciano understood. Because he felt the same. He also wanted to get away from everything; from Lovino's threatening accusations, from Grandpa and Antonio's world destroying conversations, from that place where he had to wait and lie and where everything was too real. "Because you know, Ludwig, that is what it's like, isn't it. When I'm with you, it's like no one else exists."

Ludwig paused, his eyes softening in understanding. "Exactly."

"So don't think about that, Ludwig. Don't think about them. Just forget, and be here with me." Feliciano wanted to say something to make everything all right. He wondered if there was any way to make it all right. "Would you like me to sing to you?" he asked. He immediately cringed. What a ridiculous thing to say, Ludwig wouldn't…

"Yes." Ludwig responded immediately, gazing at Feliciano with eyes that stared right through him.

"All right. This song makes me think of you. But you probably won't like it." Ludwig looked at him inquisitively. "It's English," Feliciano explained.

"Why would I not like it because of that?"

"I thought you didn't like the English."

"Just because I am fighting them does not mean I do not like them."

Feliciano didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that. So he just sang, gazing up at the lightening sky in the grey dawn, sang the words that had become what he knew and felt every day.

*Auf wiedersehen...

Feliciano fell silent. The storm clouds on the horizon were now clearly visible in the grey sky. He dropped his gaze, nervously, to find Ludwig staring almost dazedly back at him.

"That makes you think of me?"

Feliciano bit his lip uncertainly. Maybe he had said too much. "Yes."

"That is why you say that to me. 'Auf wiedersehen, sweetheart.' I wondered." Feliciano twisted his free hand in his jacket but Ludwig just smiled. "Your voice is very lovely."

"Danke." Feliciano wondered why he was suddenly so nervous. Somehow things felt different this morning; his shoulder tingling where it pressed against Ludwig's, his hand burning in Ludwig's grasp. The cold dawn still and silent around them, the smell of the grass fresh and clean in the early morning air.

Ludwig looked up at the brightening sky then back at Feliciano. "Why are you out here so early?" he asked, as though he had just realised.

Feliciano hated having to lie lately, to find any explanation other than the truth. He was not used to it, and it was exhausting. He did not want to do it anymore. "It doesn't matter. I'm here." He shivered when a particularly cold breeze gusted past.

"You are cold."

"Yes."

Feliciano half expected Ludwig to give him his jacket again. Instead, Ludwig reached an arm around Feliciano, pulled him close, and Feliciano felt his heart leap into his throat. He slowly, carefully lay his head against Ludwig's chest, pressed into the familiar warmth and smell of him. Ludwig rested his arm heavy around Feliciano's waist and Feliciano continued clutching onto his hand, spine tingling, pulse racing, filled with an unfamiliar exhilarating anticipation. They sat losing track of time, feeling each other breathe, nothing else existing in the entire world.

"You need to sleep," said Feliciano finally, almost afraid to break the silence.

"I know. I am very sorry to have bothered you." Feliciano could feel Ludwig's voice rumbling against his ear.

"Please don't be. I'm very happy that you came to see me when you were sad. Because that means that you thought I could make you happy, and that makes me happy, and I don't actually think you could ever bother me, Ludwig, never, even if I knew you for a thousand years." Ludwig did not respond but his breath hitched softly. Feliciano ran his thumb gently over Ludwig's fingers, breathed in deeply against his jacket. "Wouldn't that be nice, Ludwig, to know each other for a thousand years?"

"It would be the most wonderful thing I could ever imagine." Feliciano felt Ludwig's lips press against his hair and he shivered, inhaling sharply. The cold wind faded into the background and all Feliciano could feel was the warm rise and fall of Ludwig's chest beneath him. The most wonderful thing he could ever imagine...

"Do you remember, yesterday afternoon..." The words were out before Feliciano thought of speaking them. He trailed off shyly but Ludwig had already heard him.

"Hmm?"

Feliciano took a deep breath. He would have to continue now. "Well, yesterday afternoon, remember... you said to meet you here." Feliciano was a little unsure of what to ask. Their conversation the evening before had moved so quickly and dizzyingly that Feliciano was still not sure he understood just what they had talked about. He looked down at his hands nervously. "You said you would explain something. I said I would wait for you. I don't... I'm sorry, I thought..."

Feliciano felt Ludwig's chest move as he suddenly laughed. "Oh, Feliciano. Are you telling me you don't know?"

Feliciano lifted his head and looked at Ludwig quizzically. What was he supposed to know? He held his breath as Ludwig released his hand then reached up, brushed his cold fingers down Feliciano's cheek to his chin, and tilted his head until their eyes met directly. Feliciano remembered the first time he had looked into those eyes, how he thought they were the bluest thing he had ever seen. "Feliciano."

Feliciano froze, wide eyed. "Yes?" He could not speak louder than a whisper.

Ludwig looked at the sky, at the ground, closed his eyes, and took a deep shaking breath. Then he opened those blue, calm eyes. Everything stopped. "I am so in love with you."

The stars could have fallen from the sky and Feliciano would not have noticed. The ground could have split beneath him and he would not have moved. There was nothing, not a single thing in all the world, that could have struck him so deeply as Ludwig's words. "Oh." It was all he could say.

Ludwig no longer looked uncertain. He looked relieved. His fingers were so soft against Feliciano's skin. "That is why I had to be here this morning, Feliciano. That is why there was nowhere else. Because you change the world around me. You make it bright when everything is dull and grey and ugly. You take away everything awful inside me until there is nothing but you."

Feliciano could not move, held captivated by Ludwig's blazing eyes and earth shattering words. It was more than he had ever dared dream of hearing and he was almost numb with disbelief. He opened his mouth to respond but could not form the words. At Feliciano's silence Ludwig's eyes clouded with doubt, then panic. He dropped his hand and began to pull away.

"I am sorry. I was too bold, I…" Feliciano forced himself to move and pressed his fingers against Ludwig's lips to silence him. Ludwig breathed in sharply, his expression suddenly hopeful and uncertain. His hands were shaking. But all uncertainty had fled Feliciano's mind. The words Ludwig had spoken... the look in his eyes... Feliciano did not know what to do with this feeling of suddenly having everything he never knew he wanted. It was too wonderful. It was too completely right. He could no longer feel nervous... not now he knew how Ludwig felt. Not now he realised he felt the same.

"Ludwig," said Feliciano softly, letting his hand fall to Ludwig's shoulder. He felt strangely calm, even as his heart thumped furiously against his chest. "Ludwig, how do you say 'kiss me' in German?"

Ludwig blinked dazedly a few times. When he replied his voice was shaky. "...Küss mich."

"Küss mich." Feliciano repeated the words quietly, his gaze lowering to Ludwig's lips. He waited, trembling with anticipation, for Ludwig to respond. He did not wait long. Ludwig stared at him a few moments, gently placed a hand on the back of his neck, and Feliciano forgot how to breathe. His stomach turned into fluttering knots. He didn't move as Ludwig leant closer to him but he closed his eyes just as Ludwig's lips met his. And the world disappeared. The slight press of Ludwig's lips against his was soft, warm, gentle. When Ludwig pulled away a little Feliciano immediately reached up and pulled him back. "Don't stop," he whispered before bringing their lips together once again. Feliciano's chest soared as Ludwig moaned softly against his lips and tightened his grip around Feliciano's waist.

Yes. Like this. Finally, like this. Feliciano leant into the dizzying, gripping feel of Ludwig holding him, the pulse quickening sensation of Ludwig's breath mingling with his, surrounded by the smell and feel and breathtaking presence of him. When Feliciano parted his lips and felt Ludwig's tongue against his he thought he would melt. Melt into Ludwig completely. Because that was what this was, finally. Like nothing he had ever felt. Like everything he had ever wanted. Complete. Feliciano clutched Ludwig's shoulder, pressed harder into the kiss and Ludwig responded, thrust back hungrily and pulled Feliciano so tight against him he could barely breathe. Ludwig's fingers ran through Feliciano's hair to the back of his neck and Feliciano gasped shakily against Ludwig's lips. A tingling tremor fluttered down his spine; his skin burned despite the chilled wind. He never wanted this feeling to end. Never wanted Ludwig to let him go.

The kiss gradually slowed and Feliciano opened his eyes to find Ludwig's blue irises staring into his. He lost sense of time as they stayed like that, their eyes locked, their lips barely touching, Ludwig's hair brushing his cheek and his hand still warm and firm against Feliciano's neck. "Ich liebe dich, Ludwig." Ludwig gasped and kissed him again, breathtaking and intense, warm and safe and complete. Feliciano sighed happily, more content than he could ever remember feeling in his entire life.

A sudden enormous roar tore through his head and Feliciano jumped, breaking the kiss as he gasped. Dazed and surprised, he followed Ludwig's concerned gaze upwards to where five planes roared through the sky, the noise tearing through the silent dawn.

"Those… aren't ours." Ludwig's brows knitted together, his expression a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"What?" Feliciano felt a little dazed, surprised by the sudden intrusion of reality. He tried to bring his breathing under control. Ludwig pushed himself upright and watched after the planes with a look of dawning understanding.

"Mustangs."

Feliciano was still almost senseless but his stomach turned cold at the alarmed tone. When an earsplitting blast exploded at a short distance, smoke rising immediately, Feliciano finally came back to himself. The morning turned real and cold once again. "What is it?" he asked, fear rising in his chest.

"Americans." A cluster of emotions flashed through Ludwig's eyes. Feliciano was terrified by the look in them. By what it might mean. "No, why now..." Ludwig ran a hand over his forehead in an exhausted gesture, pushing back his messy hair angrily. "Verdammt!"

Feliciano turned his head between the distant rising smoke and Ludwig's frustrated expression. "Ludwig, what's wrong, I don't understand..."

"I have to go. Immediately." Ludwig stood and Feliciano scrambled to his feet beside him, confusion and panic breaking. "The Americans are here."

The Americans... "What does that mean?" Ludwig finally paused, staring at Feliciano with a look of desperate, heartbreaking understanding. Feliciano understood immediately. Ludwig was saying goodbye. The ground swayed dangerously beneath him. "No…"

"Feliciano..." Ludwig's voice cracked.

Feliciano shook his head. "No!"

Ludwig stepped forward and pulled Feliciano against him in a forceful, desperate embrace. Feliciano held to him like he was drowning and Ludwig was air. The kiss was burning, bitter, beautiful. It was over too quickly. Feliciano held to Ludwig with all his strength, but Ludwig gently and insistently pulled his hands away.

"Tomorrow, Ludwig." Feliciano had to choke out the words. This was all too sudden, too awful, too heartbreakingly unfair.

Ludwig's expression contorted in pain. "I don't…"

"Tomorrow!" cried Feliciano, refusing to let Ludwig finish that sentence. He was no longer able to hold back his tears.

Ludwig grasped the back of Feliciano's head, leant down, and pressed a fierce kiss to his temple. Feliciano shivered at the deep voice against his ear. "Ti amo, Feliciano. Forever." And then he left. Feliciano just stood still, alone and empty, practically numb. Too many thoughts flew through his mind, too many emotions flowed through him. When the world stopped spinning around him, when he could again feel his heart pounding in his chest, Feliciano sank to the ground. He felt paralysed. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to get the one thing he truly wanted then have it immediately torn away.

Feliciano lost track of how long he sat like that, leaning against the oak tree, staring blankly at the sky, too devastated to cry. Only when the sun was high in the storm dark clouds could he bring himself to move, a worrying suspicion suddenly gnawing at his chest. Ludwig knew the Americans were here. There was a meeting at the cantina. Feliciano ran.

Next Chapter

Disclaimer: This story belongs to George deValier. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing.

#Auf Wiedersehen Sweetheart chapter 6

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the-observant-frisbeetarian · 5 years

Text

Chapter 13

Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart by George deValier

"Are you insane?"

"Lovino, if you'd just listen…"

"I knew I was right not to trust those Americans! I can't believe they would be so irresponsible! To put this stupid idea in your head…"

"It's not stupid! It's the only chance I've got, and I can't do it alone..."

"How can you even ask me this?"

"Because you're my brother, and…"

"You are completely mad if you think for one second that I am going to help you with this, if I am going to let you…"

"You did it for Antonio!"

"That was completely different!"

"How?"

"How? Antonio was an ally being tortured by the Gestapo for information on us, not an enemy being held by the Americans!"

Feliciano finally paused. He spread his hands on the bench before him, tried to calm his rapid pulse and heavy breathing, to think clearly and coherently. The afternoon sun flooded the kitchen and broken silence punctuated his and Lovino's shouting outbursts. Feliciano knew that in the end it was probably useless to try and convince Lovino. But he also knew that he had to try for any chance he could. Because he had to see Ludwig. Even if it was only one more time, Feliciano had to see him. "Does it make a difference who is holding him prisoner?"

"Of course it does!" shouted Lovino, his eyes wide and wild, his expression outraged and frustrated. Feliciano knew he did not understand. Of course he did not understand. "The Americans do not torture their prisoners…"

"How can we know that for sure?" Feliciano felt guilty speaking of this when Lovino was still so broken from what had happened to Antonio. But he had no other choice right now. "The Americans are our allies, of course they are going to tell us that! And even if they don't torture him, don't you see, he will be sent to a prison camp, he might never get out! They'll lock him up for the rest of the war, and that could be forever, and at best he will eventually be sent back to Germany after the war is over and I'll never see him again and I can't bear that, Lovino, I can't... I'm begging you…" The tears Feliciano had tried so hard to hold back finally stung his eyes and threatened to spill. He gritted his teeth and blinked them back angrily. "Please help me." Lovino just looked at him like he really had gone insane.

"Just stop and think for a moment what you are asking me to do. To help you rescue an enemy."

"But he's not an enemy, Lovino, he's not just a German, he is Ludwig, he is the man I love, he is a good, decent man who deserves a chance, deserves better than a prison camp for the next fifty years!"

"If Grandpa were here…"

"Well, he's not here!" Grandpa Roma had left the day before, to carry news and information to Antonio's contacts all over the country. After all, someone had to inform other pockets of the resistance of what was going on. "And he won't be back for weeks yet, so you can't get him to stop me, and you can't…"

"None of this matters!" Lovino was turning red, his words growing louder and louder. "If, against logic and reason and all the odds, you manage to break him free of the Americans, what then? What can you do then? You have a location. That is all! You have no way to make it into this location, you have no information on how he is being held, you have no idea even what to do once this German is freed! You have nothing!"

It was true. Everything Lovino said was true. And yet… "But there must be… must be some way…"

Lovino raised his eyes to the ceiling and turned away in frustration. "I'm not listening to this anymore. You are being completely unreasonable." Lovino pushed through the door to the front room. Feliciano hurried behind him.

"But Lovino, I don't know what else to do, and if Ludwig…"

"Ludwig."

Feliciano almost ran into Lovino as he halted abruptly before him. Feliciano broke off mid-sentence and choked back a gasp. A tingling shock ran through his body, rooting him to the spot. Lovino did not move an inch, even as he managed to speak, softly and calmly. "Antonio. You're awake."

Antonio stared blankly at the wall, his eyes round and dark and lost. He stood uncertain and confused in the middle of the room, clutching his shattered, ruined arm in its sling. He looked even thinner standing up. But then, the last time Lovino had gotten him to eat was three days ago. The last time he had gotten him to speak was even longer. "Ludwig," said Antonio again, still staring at the wall. His voice was flat and rough. "Ludwig flies planes."

"Yes," said Lovino slowly, taking a careful step closer. "He is Feliciano's friend." Feliciano glanced at Lovino worriedly, but the smallest, slightest spark of hope glowed in his brother's face. He took another cautious step towards Antonio. "Do you want to eat something, Antonio? Or shall we go outside? Are you…"

Antonio did not notice him. "I gave him a grey one. He put it together with glue and string. He hung it from his ceiling." Silence fell. Antonio finally tore his gaze from the wall and glanced blankly around the room. He seemed to have forgotten where he was, why he was there. His eyes finally landed on Lovino and focused just slightly. "You were yelling."

Lovino shook his head. "No, that's nothing, Antonio, it's nothing." He took another step closer and held his hand out, palm upward, his eyes wide and pleading. "Come. Let's go into the garden."

But Antonio's words made Feliciano's mind start turning. Several memories hit him at once. Overhearing Antonio speaking about his German soldier friend whose little brother was a pilot at the nearby base; Ludwig mentioning that his brother Gilbert had a Spanish friend before the war; Antonio's shock and laughing relief upon hearing the name of Feliciano's German friend who had just found out about the resistance. A suspicion started to grow in Feliciano's mind; one that was surely ridiculous yet somehow made sense, one which might yet prove the last hope he had. "Antonio," said Feliciano quietly, calmly. "Antonio, do you know Ludwig? Ludwig Beilschmidt? The German pilot."

Lovino shot him a warning glare but Feliciano ignored him, just waited with a pounding heart for Antonio's response. Antonio looked from Lovino to the ceiling. "He has a brother. A soldier."

"Yes," said Feliciano breathlessly, scared to let himself believe this. "Yes, Gilbert!"

"Feli," said Lovino warningly.

"Gilbert." Antonio's eyes closed, his face finally twisting in emotion, pained and distressed. "We fought. He left. I told him not to join the army… told him the truth… he wouldn't listen… never listened..."

Lovino spoke soothingly, even as he glared at Feliciano with wide, angry eyes. "Antonio, it's all okay, that doesn't matter now."

But Feliciano barely noticed. Hope rose in his chest. Antonio knew Ludwig… Antonio could help him… if he could stay calm and awake for just a little while, just long enough to answer some questions… "So you know! You know Ludwig! You know he is a good person, tell Lovino, tell him…"

"Feliciano, stop it!"

Feliciano had to ask, had to keep going, had no other choice… "He has been captured, Antonio, by the Americans. Is there anything you know, is there anything…" Feliciano was cut off as Lovino grabbed his arm roughly, hissed furiously.

"Don't you dare upset him. Don't you DARE, Feliciano, do NOT…"

"The Americans are good to their prisoners," said Antonio slowly. "The Americans are good, they don't… don't torture…" He blinked a few times, his eyebrows drawing together. Feliciano choked on his words and Lovino's hand tightened on his arm. Antonio's breath came faster. "Don't break… don't drown…" Suddenly Antonio shook with a violent tremor and he broke off raggedly, clutched his shattered arm with a trembling hand. He took a gasping gulp for air before bending over as he was hit by a fierce coughing fit. Lovino swore and ran to him.

"It's okay, Antonio, it's..."

"Can't breathe... can't…"

"Yes you can, just stand up straight."

Antonio jerked away from Lovino, lifted his shaking hand to his head, choked out words through his coughs. "Can't… can't… drowning…"

"You're not drowning." Lovino reached up and grasped Antonio's hand, bringing it between them. He gently drew Antonio to sit on the couch and then sat beside him, stroking his hair, speaking calmly and quietly. "You're safe, you're with me. You can breathe, and you're okay." Antonio's breath started to even, but his face was still white, his eyes still dark and panicked. He took deep gulps of air and tried again to clutch his arm, but Lovino pulled his hand away.

No, no… Feliciano covered his mouth with his hands, horrified that he had started Antonio remembering. The one thing they were never to do. "Don't break…" Antonio was whispering now. "Don't drown…" His shoulders fell, his hand went limp in Lovino's hold. His entire body seemed to slow and stop.

"No, Antonio, no!" Lovino's voice was thick with sudden fear, but he still tried to speak evenly. "Look at me, Antonio. You're not there, do you hear me? You're here, you're here at home, you're safe now, all right?" Antonio started to turn away, so Lovino grasped his head and turned it back, his voice taking on an edge of panic. "No, please look at me, don't go away, don't…" Antonio finally stilled completely and his eyes unfocused, glazed over, stared unseeing. Lovino gulped back a strangled sob, pressed his hands to Antonio's face, spoke desperately. "Stay with me Antonio, please stay…" But Antonio's eyes were empty, his expression blank, his body frozen. He wasn't there anymore.

Lovino stared at Antonio for a few heavy moments, his harsh breathing the only sound in the room. Feliciano barely dared to breathe himself. Finally, Lovino closed his eyes, clenched his teeth, bunched his hands into fists. Then he glared up at Feliciano, his lips in a snarl, his eyes bright and wet and blazing. When he spoke it was almost a growl. "And you think for a second that I would help you rescue a German."

A horrible, sickening guilt gnawed at Feliciano's gut and crawled in his mind. How could he have been so selfish? How could he have pushed so far, so much? How could he have so quickly forced Antonio back into himself when this had been the first time he had left his bed in a week? Feliciano felt so desperately ashamed he wanted to scream. Instead he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Lovino angrily wiped his eyes, turning them from Feliciano to Antonio. Then he gently brushed Antonio's hair from his forehead, took Antonio's unbroken hand in both his own, and settled back against the couch beside him. "Go away, Feliciano."

Feliciano sat against the oak tree, the countryside familiar and lonely, the grass too bright and too harsh, the sun unwelcome. He never felt such aching loneliness as he did under this tree. And yet, there was nowhere else he could go. Every day drew him here, here to his and Ludwig's somewhere else. Every day the same thoughts, the same fears, the same unbearable longing. How could the world be so unkind, so unfair? How could this awful war bring him and Lovino such happiness, and then be the very thing to take it away? Was this how life worked? It made no sense, none of it, and nothing was simple anymore, nothing ever would be, the way it had been when Ludwig looked in his eyes or held him close. When Ludwig was all he knew, and everything was simple.

Feliciano held the photograph of Ludwig before him. He had gazed at it so many times that the image was imprinted on his mind. Ludwig sitting on a ruined church wall, iron cross at his neck, looking sternly at the camera with his straight blond hair slightly blown from the wind and a sort of glow in his handsome face. Then Feliciano turned the photograph over and read the words scrawled on the back. auf wiedersehen, sweetheart… Could Feliciano really say goodbye? Could he let Ludwig go, accept that this was too hard, and live forever on his memories of a few beautiful winter days, otherworldly mornings, storm battered nights? Only a few days to last a lifetime. How could only a few days be enough to build a dream and tear it down, to give you everything and leave you with nothing?

Feliciano looked up and glanced across the wind-blown grass, and for just a second he swore could see the outline of Ludwig in the distance, walking away. No. Feliciano shook his head and turned the photograph back around, running his fingers gently over the image of Ludwig's face. Feliciano would do whatever he had to do. And if no one would help him, he would do it alone. He would get Ludwig back. He had no choice; from the moment Ludwig had looked at him with those sky blue eyes, Feliciano never had a choice. Lovino had done it for Antonio. And you think for a second that I would help you rescue a German. Alfred would do it for Arthur. If it was him, I'd take on the whole German military single-handed. And Feliciano knew that Ludwig would do the same for him. I'd let it burn for you… So Feliciano would do it for Ludwig. If he succeeded, if he failed, if it was the last thing he ever did. The conclusion was easy to reach, was the same as it had been months ago when Feliciano had first considered the danger of loving Ludwig. It had never changed. If Ludwig wasn't worth the risk, then nothing was.

The house was dark and silent and empty when Feliciano walked through the front door. He did not check the bedrooms - Antonio was probably asleep, and Lovino most likely watching him. Feliciano felt another stab of guilt, and wondered how long it would be before Lovino spoke to him again. Feliciano wouldn't blame him if he never did. He headed into the kitchen to start dinner - hopefully Lovino would eat something tonight. Lately he was eating almost as little as Antonio. Turning on the lamps, Feliciano noticed a small pouch on the bench with a thick envelope beside it. A note sat on top. Feliciano quickly grabbed it and gasped when he recognised Antonio's handwriting.

Write down the location of Ludwig's imprisonment and put it in this envelope. The information I have placed inside will take care of the rest. Take it to the Cantina Rosso. Ask for the Turk.

Feliciano read the words thirty times. He could not comprehend them - could not believe them. Of course he knew that Antonio had moments of clarity - short periods of time where he broke out of his state of waking sleep and spoke coherently, understood where he was, was almost himself again – yet this left Feliciano stunned. Antonio must have heard and understood far more than Feliciano realised. Feliciano quickly pulled the pages out of the envelope and his shock deepened as he skimmed over the contents. Asking for a German contact... discussing payment... something about needing a plan... Feliciano tried to believe it. Antonio was actually helping him. After everything the Germans had done… The kitchen door creaked and Feliciano turned.

"You are going to do this even without me, aren't you?" Lovino's eyes were hard, his arms folded. He glanced at the paper in Feliciano's hand, and Feliciano could see immediately that he knew the contents. Feliciano wondered how aware Antonio had been while he wrote it, if he had given Lovino a few of those rare, lucid moments he lived for.

"Yes," Feliciano replied. "Yes I am."

"You could get yourself killed, Feliciano. You could die for this German."

"Lovino, you could have died rescuing Antonio. Did that stop you?"

They stared at each other wordlessly, the air silent and charged between them. Feliciano begged Lovino silently to understand. Feliciano had thought he couldn't... and yet, at the same time, surely Lovino understood better than anyone. Lovino finally nodded and let out a resigned sigh. "I'll come with you, Feli. But for you. Not for him."

Feliciano's felt his chest lighten and his lips break into a wide, relieved smile. Then he laughed and bounced over to Lovino, pulling him into a squeezing embrace. "I love you, Lovino!"

Lovino patted Feliciano's back awkwardly. "Yes, yes, I know." He let Feliciano hold him for just a moment before pulling away, though his own lips were curved in a tiny smile. "Now." Lovino looked down at the letter. "You're taking that letter on your own, all right? I'm not having anymore to do with this than I have to."

"That's fine, that's okay, I don't mind!" For the first time in months, even more so than when Alfred had told him Ludwig's location, Feliciano felt himself filled with a light, soaring hope. This might work. This might be possible. This might just mean he would see Ludwig again. Soon.

Feliciano drummed his fingers nervously on the table, biting the nails of his other hand as his eyes darted around the crowded Cantina Rosso. It was strange to see groups of American serviceman rather than German soldiers mingling inside the cantina and out around the street tables where Feliciano sat. Feliciano continued to glance around impatiently. He had given the envelope to a man behind the counter, asked for the Turk, and been told to wait. But he had been sitting at this same table since morning and now the sun was already descending in the sky. It did not help his nerves to remember that this was the very table he had been sitting at months ago, when Ludwig had met him unexpectedly and dragged him away from the execution in the square. Memories of Ludwig surrounded him. And the idea that he might soon see Ludwig once again, hold him again, feel him and kiss him and fall again into those blue eyes – it was heart stopping, breathtaking. His blood thrummed with fearful, hopeful, glorious anticipation… and how long was he going to be made to wait?

Just when Feliciano was wondering if he should head back into the cantina and ask, someone pulled out the chair opposite him and took a seat at the table. Feliciano gasped in recognition. The same dark skin, the same dark hair on his head and face, the same little red hat with the black tassel… this was the very man who had given him that envelope the last time Feliciano had been in this cantina. So this must be the Turk. He grinned at Feliciano as he sat. "Hello again, little Resistenza. Have you remembered your code this time?"

Feliciano's eyes went wide. "I wasn't given one. Was I supposed to be given one? Oh no… it's really me, honest, I can…"

"Calm down, kid, I'm just messing with you. So," the Turk pulled a few sheets of paper from the unsealed envelope, then unfolded and smoothed them on the table. "We have some business to deal with. Very hush hush."

"Very… what?"

"Top secret. Quiet."

"Oh, I suppose. I don't really know…"

The Turk looked down at the letter. "You need a contact. A small group of German military to receive a Luftwaffe Lieutenant recently released illegally from American custody. Yes?"

Feliciano's breath stuttered unevenly, the nerves in his stomach flooding his head and his veins. "Yes," he whispered. He was surprised and reassured at how coherently Antonio had managed to explain everything in the letter. "Yes, that's exactly what I need."

"And you also need a plan of escape for this Luftwaffe Lieutenant."

"Oh. I do?"

The Turk looked taken aback. "Of course you do, what did you think, that you could just walk right in there and ask them nicely to let him go? Shit, kid, I thought you were a resistance member."

Feliciano managed to feel a little annoyed through his shock. "I was never allowed on any missions or anything like that. My brother Lovino was, though, and he's going to be with me, so he can take care of all that…"

"He stays in the car."

"Oh." Feliciano's stomach fell. "He does?"

"Of course. You need that car running and ready to tear out of there. And two of you walking into an American base is going to be far too suspicious."

Feliciano gulped, the apprehension in his stomach quickly turning to fear. He had thought at least that Lovino would be with him… that's what he had begged for. The idea that Lovino wouldn't be by Feliciano's side the entire time had not even occurred to him. "So… um… what do I do, then?"

The Turk raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps we should discuss payment before things go any further." Feliciano nodded. He wasn't sure why Antonio had given him old gold coins instead of paper notes to use as payment, but he hastily drew the pouch of coins from his pocket and threw it on the table. The Turk immediately snatched it out of sight and quickly looked around the room. "Shit, kid, be a bit careful, would ya?"

"Sorry," mumbled Feliciano. He knew he should know better, but all sense was being jumbled and knocked by his ragged nerves and edgy thoughts. He was actually here, discussing Ludwig, discussing how to break him out of an American base. This was crazy, it was wonderful, it was the most terrifying thing Feliciano had ever faced. How could he be expected to keep control, to know how to act? Oh God, he was going to see Ludwig soon, it was really going to happen… The Turk just studied the coins under the table for a moment before nodding, satisfied.

"Right. I suppose I should thank you for not insulting me with worthless pieces of paper. Now." He fixed Feliciano with a heavy, dark stare. Feliciano could barely sit still in his seat. "You're lucky. The base where this German is being held isn't a very large one, and he is currently their only prisoner awaiting transport to a POW camp. It's mainly military police, which you'd think would make it a tougher target. But these Americans have one major weakness."

"Oh! Pretty girls."

The Turk blinked silently a few times. "What?"

"Grandpa Roma says that all the Americans like pretty girls, so that must be their weakness, he says the smarmy bastards are always trying to steal Italian women and oh no, you're not going to make me dress up as a girl are you? Only, I don't think that will work actually, because the American I met didn't have a weakness for pretty girls at all, actually…"

"Shut up, kid. No, I'm talking about drinking."

"Drinking with pretty girls, I bet."

"Right, fine, probably. You gonna listen now?"

Feliciano bit back a response and just nodded.

"Good. Now. Tuesday nights, the Americans go drinking in the neighbouring village. This week they'll leave only a few military guards behind."

"Why?" asked Feliciano restlessly.

"I'll deal with that." The Turk grinned. "This is what you're paying me for, kid. Your…" The Turk looked back at the letter. "Your brother, is it… will park on the east road."

"East road," repeated Feliciano. He was already starting to worry that he could not keep up with this.

"You enter the compound. There will be only one man at the gate. Now, this is what you're gonna say. You listening?"

"Yes!" said Feliciano eagerly, breathlessly, almost hanging off the edge of his seat. The Turk eyed him doubtfully, then rubbed his forehead and muttered under his breath. Feliciano didn't catch it, but the Turk continued loudly.

"You're gonna tell him there's an incident in town, that the Americans have lost control. Say they're fighting, that they're armed, and that the villagers are angry, scared and don't know what to do. The last thing the Americans want is a diplomatic incident now that they've finally got a foothold in this country, so this should see most of the remaining guards heading straight for the town. Now, you've got a weapon, don't you?"

Feliciano's blood froze as it all suddenly became real. He couldn't do this. Oh God, how could he possibly do this... "I... I don't... I… but what if they don't go? What if they don't believe me?"

"Why wouldn't they believe you? You're a picture of innocence. And of course they'll believe you when the very situation you'll mention has occurred twice already."

"It has?"

"By Tuesday it will have." The Turk winked at Feliciano's puzzled expression. "This is what you're paying me for, remember? Now with the majority of the Americans leaving the base to defuse the situation in town, you'll probably only have one or two guards left to deal with. With the element of surprise, surely you can deal with one or two guards."

Feliciano was horrified. "But I don't want to hurt them! Isn't there something else I can do?"

The Turk looked both amused and slightly incredulous. "Kid, this game you're playing is a little out of your league." He gave a short laugh as he pulled something from his pocket, a small packet, and passed it under the table to Feliciano. "Slip it into a drink - a canteen of bourbon if you can get it. Tell them it's a gift from their American buddies in town." The Turk grinned. "In compensation for all the fun they're missing out on."

Feliciano bit his lip uncertainly as he turned the little packet of white powder over in his fingers. "But it won't hurt them?"

"Nah kid, it'll knock 'em senseless, give 'em the best dream they ever had."

"Is it medicine for people who can't sleep? Grandpa Roma sometimes makes medicine like that with valerian and lavender from the garden."

The Turk snickered softly in amusement. "Bit stronger than lavender. Some people would pay a right sum for that. Use it wisely, hey?"

Feliciano nodded and pushed the packet into his pocket. "What… what then?"

"Then you enter the cells, grab your German, and run like hell to your waiting car." The Turk tossed a small set of keys to Feliciano, who caught them awkwardly. "Your German contacts will be waiting at this location, Tuesday, at 0100 hours." The Turk pushed a few sheets of paper across the table and Feliciano folded them carefully before putting them in his pocket beside the keys and little powder packet. "Get this German there, at that time, but this is very important. Do not go directly to the contact point. Stop at a safe distance, and he will need to make the last few miles or so on his own."

Feliciano nodded, tried to focus, to convince himself he could do this. He wasn't having much luck with either. "I… oh. But… but… but how…"

The Turk's expression softened just slightly. "You know kid, once you're in this situation, you'd be surprised how quickly instinct takes over. Don't worry so much."

Feliciano was already forgetting everything the Turk had said, his words just a jumble of half-formed images in Feliciano's mind. "But I don't know…"

"Read the papers I gave you. Everything you need to know is there. And remember one thing."

Feliciano took a very deep breath and tried to stop his hands from shaking. "What's that?"

"If it wasn't worth it, you wouldn't be doing it." The Turk winked again. "And Carriedo wouldn't have written this letter asking for my help, either." The Turk pushed back his chair as though to leave, but then stopped and looked at the table thoughtfully. "How's the Spaniard doing, anyway?"

"Oh." Feliciano thought about how to answer that. It was a far too difficult question. "Well, mostly he sleeps. Sometimes he looks like he's awake but he just stares at the wall - Grandpa Roma says he's sleeping with his eyes open. And when he is awake he usually just says a lot of things that don't make sense. But sometimes - just sometimes - he really wakes up. It doesn't usually last long, but Lovino says he's getting better." Feliciano shrugged. He didn't know if Lovino was right about that.

"Hmm." The Turk shook his head. "From what I heard the bastard's lucky to be alive. Or not, depending how you look at it." He caught Feliciano's eyes in an intense stare. "Lovino... he's your brother, yes? He's the one who rescued him?"

"Yes."

The Turk whistled, impressed. "Heard what he did. He's one brave little bastard."

Feliciano smiled. "Yes."

"And now he's helping you do the same thing. For a German."

Feliciano shifted uncomfortably. "Yes." The Turk shook his head again.

"Why? Why is this worth it?"

Feliciano answered immediately, without thinking. "Because I love him."

The Turk looked vaguely amused. "This war just don't make sense anymore. But hey. Gold is worth the same whoever you get it from." The Turk stood to leave.

"And you?" asked Feliciano suddenly, surprising himself that he asked. "Why is what you do worth it? Is that gold in your pocket the only thing that matters?" Feliciano felt suddenly afraid as the Turk smirked down at him, one dark eyebrow raised in amusement. Feliciano shrank back into his chair.

"It's the only thing that lasts, little Resistenza. You'll learn that soon enough."

Feliciano didn't believe him. There were things worth more than gold. Things that lasted longer. Things like flowers, and winter afternoons, and photographs with goodbyes scrawled on the back. "Love lasts."

"Nice sentiment, kid." And for the briefest second, a flash of bitter memory seemed to pass over the Turk's face; as if he knew what Feliciano meant, as if he understood. But it was gone before Feliciano could be sure he had seen it. "But it's not true. Regardless. Good luck, little Italian." The Turk laughed as he walked away. "Boy, are you gonna need it."

Feliciano couldn't believe how easily the plan was working. After reluctantly leaving Lovino in the car the Turk had arranged for them, Feliciano had rounded the small bend to the American base. It was not the iron prison he had expected, but just a small collection of buildings surrounded by barbed wire and a lot of trees. Somehow, the Turk had managed it so that only a few military guards remained and, to Feliciano's relief, the guard at the gate believed his story immediately. Feliciano was shown into the base, past the small buildings and trucks and trees and a barred door, which he promptly knew to be the cells. And now he sat in this small room, opposite the base commander and the one remaining guard, with his palms sweating and his heart hammering and his head swimming as he fought to keep control. Everything was like a dream, nothing felt real, and it was so hard to believe he was actually doing this; that it was actually working. The commander leaned back in his chair and peered discerningly at Feliciano over his desk.

"So what exactly is the situation, Italian?"

Feliciano told himself to stay calm, it's okay, they don't suspect, they don't know, oh God, Ludwig was in the cell right next door... Feliciano tried to recite the speech he had read a hundred times in attempts to memorise. "Well, uh, sir, it's just that your soldiers are all in town drinking too much and being very loud and rude and flirting with pretty girls, probably, and now they're all angry and fighting and breaking things and this is the third time this week and people are getting all upset and worried and we don't know what to do about it or how to stop it and the Germans never acted like this when they were in town. Sir."

The commander gave a small hum of disappointment under his breath before glancing up at the military guard. "I've told them fifty times not to upset the local population. Just when we're trying to get the locals to trust us."

"Always seems to happen when we're understaffed, too, sir."

As the two Americans spoke between themselves, Feliciano continued to try and control his terror, to stop himself shaking all over. This was not a situation he ever thought he would be involved in. This was what Grandpa Roma and Antonio and maybe sometimes Lovino did, this was too much for Feliciano, and now he had to try and get them to drink the laced bourbon, and just how was he supposed to do this? The guns at the Americans sides drew Feliciano's gaze like a magnet. What if they didn't take the drink? What would he do then? How could he leave, knowing Ludwig was right there, so close, so close Feliciano could feel him... "Oh!" he shouted suddenly, the word tearing from his throat almost unbidden. The Americans stared at him as Feliciano reached into his jacket and pulled out the flask. Just do this... just do it and get to Ludwig... "Your friends gave me this." Surely they wouldn't take it... surely it was too obvious... why hadn't he brought a gun...

"They did now?"

Feliciano gained a tiny bit of courage at the interested way the Americans eyed the metal flask. "Yes," Feliciano continued. "To give to you, they said it was a gift from town since you couldn't be there, they said you would need a drink, it's some strange American drink called bourbon I think..."

The commander stared for a few tense, heart-pounding, unbearable moments. Then he smiled. "I tell ya, it's been a long time since I had a drink."

…..

Feliciano really couldn't believe how easily the plan was working. He looked from the sleeping commander to the unconscious guard; sweat drenching his back and neck, pulse racing so fast he felt dizzy. He waited a few anxious minutes to make sure they were fully senseless, barely daring to breathe, expecting them to wake any second. When they didn't, when Feliciano finally managed to convince himself this was working, he scrambled to his feet and bolted out the door as fast as he could go. Ludwig was so close.

Feliciano raced back to the cells, glancing from side to side as he did. But the base was empty - the guards had left immediately to take care of the situation in town. Feliciano threw open the unlocked front door of the cells and came to an immediate halt. A long, narrow, silent corridor stretched out before him, six doors leading into six tiny jail cells, three on each side. The lights were lit only dimly, the majority of illumination coming from the moonlight that filtered through the tiny windows and threw shadows of bars onto the grey floor. Feliciano took a few cautious steps, caught in a strange waking dream. His feet echoed like thunderclaps on the cold cement. He swallowed past the heavy pounding in his throat and tried to find his voice, but it came out as a whisper. "Ludwig?" No response. He tried again, managing to speak a little louder, though his voice cracked slightly on the single word. "Ludwig?"

Frantic footfalls echoed off the stone walls and a long shadow fell across the corridor. And then, standing at the bars of the last cell on the left, he was there. His uniform still pressed and pristine; his face frozen in the moonlight, beyond stunned, just dazed and disbelieving as he gazed across at Feliciano. He shook his head, once, as though refusing to believe it.

"Ludwig…" A whisper, slow and quiet. Suddenly everything was slow and quiet. The moon stopped in the sky; the ground stopped spinning below. Feliciano took a slow, quiet breath as the entire world came to a halt, turned around, remade itself around him. Because he was there. Ludwig...

"No."

That one, strong word of denial was enough to force Feliciano into focus. He ran. When he reached the last cell Ludwig thrust his hand through the bar and gripped Feliciano's. Feliciano gasped, lungs forcing the breath from him, and he clung to Ludwig as his other hand fumbled frantically for the keys. "Ludwig, we have to go, we…"

"No! NO! What are you doing? How… how are you here?" A ray of moonlight shone through the bars onto Ludwig's face, beautiful and shocked and bewildered, even as he gripped Feliciano's hand and reached through the bars to touch his cheek. Feliciano cried out, almost sobbed at the touch, tried to fit a key in the lock. Why wouldn't it fit, why wouldn't his hands stop shaking...

"Someone gave me information, but it doesn't matter, I'm…" Another wrong key. Feliciano almost screamed in frustration.

"You have to get out of here! You have to leave! Don't you know what they could do to you, don't you see… is this even…" Ludwig's words turned into incomprehensible German. But even as he said them, white and confounded and shaking his head disbelievingly, he took the keys from Feliciano and fitted one into the lock with an almost steady hand. Feliciano reached through the bars to grasp Ludwig's arms and touch his face, to convince himself he was there.

"There is a contact waiting for you. We have a car. We can take you there. The guards are asleep, but we need to hurry… we need to…" The key fitted. It started to turn.

"So stupid… Mein Gott, Feliciano, this was so stupid…" Ludwig's breath came fast and frantic.

So close, too close. Feliciano's entire body was a tightly wound coil of impatience and need. The lock clicked, they both gasped, and Feliciano had to briefly tear his hands from Ludwig's arms as the door flung open. But then Ludwig's hands grasped him roughly and pulled him close; and Feliciano reached for him, fell into him; and their lips met with a breathless, wordless, fearless intensity. And again everything stopped. This grey cell disappeared, became a wide, open field with yellow grass and flowers and sunshine, with bright blue skies and an endless afternoon and a single, gnarled old oak tree. They were somewhere else, and it was only them in the entire world, and this was what Feliciano had waited for, this was what mattered, this was the reason he did this and the reason he risked everything and the reason he kept breathing. Ludwig smelt the same, felt the same, tasted the same; Feliciano's heart soared the way it always did, and he was complete for the first time since that long ago night he had fallen asleep in a bed of hay under a rain-pelted roof. All the broken pieces came together and Feliciano felt he could die happily, here, in Ludwig's arms. But the kiss was too brief, and when Ludwig pulled away his eyes were like fire. "I don't know how you're here. But you need to go." Yet he still held to Feliciano with a grip like iron.

Feliciano shook his head firmly, clinging to Ludwig's arms with determined, shaking hands. "I won't go without you."

Ludwig closed his eyes briefly in resignation. "Then come, immediately." He dropped his grip from Feliciano's waist to take his hand. Then he grabbed a jacket off a small table and pulled Feliciano out of the cell into the corridor.

Feliciano followed as Ludwig led the way out of the narrow cells, their feet echoing like gunshots on the bar-shadowed ground, outside into the calm, still, empty night. This was all suddenly happening too fast for Feliciano to register how he felt besides the heavy pounding of his heart and the comforting relief he felt from having Ludwig's hand in his.

"Guards?" asked Ludwig shortly, eyes darting vigilantly around the empty base.

"Only two, but they are sleeping."

"Sleep..." Ludwig shook his head. "Never mind. Which way?"

Feliciano took the lead and led Ludwig past the buildings and trucks and wire towards the front gate. "Here. Follow me. Lovino's waiting… oh, Ludwig!" Feliciano turned and smiled delightedly up at Ludwig, the moonlight brightening their faces and the warm, quiet night around them. "Ludwig, you can meet Lovino!"

Ludwig's expression softened unreadably and he pressed a fierce kiss to Feliciano's hand. They ran out the front gate, onto the tree-lined narrow lane, and rounded the corner to where Lovino waited with the borrowed car.

"Lovino," said Feliciano breathlessly as he threw open the door and fell in, Ludwig clambering in beside him, their hands still clasped together. "This is Ludwig."

Lovino's eyes flashed furiously as he quickly inspected the German. He turned back to face the road and switched on the gleaming headlights. "Not a word, German, do you hear me?" Lovino spoke angrily in English, slamming his foot to the accelerator, tyres screeching against the dirt road. "Not one word to me."

Once in the safety of the car, Feliciano fell onto Ludwig, exhausted and giddy and overcome. He could not believe they had managed it, could not believe what he had just done, and a hysterical, joyful relief rushed like a flooding release through his veins. He could only laugh, and cry, and gasp for breath; and Ludwig held him close, ran a hand through his hair, rocked him gently and kissed his head and whispered soft, meaningless words. Feliciano breathed in against his chest. The smell of Ludwig's jacket and the feel of Ludwig's strong arms around him quickly soothed and calmed Feliciano's overworked mind and nerves. And it felt like only another day they had been parted, because everything was again the same: this familiar bliss, this feeling of everything being right that Feliciano remembered so well.

Finally able to think clearly, to breathe properly, Feliciano ran his hands over Ludwig's arms and chest, kissed his shoulder awkwardly. "Did they hurt you?" he whispered.

Ludwig kept running his hand soothingly through Feliciano's hair. "No, Feliciano. No."

Feliciano sighed with relief. "I'm so glad. Everyone said the Americans were good to their prisoners, but I worried, oh Ludwig, I was so worried, I was so scared that you..."

"It is all right now. I am well, and unhurt, and it's all okay now."

Feliciano nodded and wiped his eyes. "Your contact will be waiting just around the corner when we stop. Go straight to them, and they will take you to the nearest German base."

"How did you even… oh, Feliciano. You should not have done this. This was too dangerous, too reckless, this was not worth it…"

Feliciano lifted his head and stared straight into Ludwig's blue eyes. They were clouded with concern. "Yes, yes Ludwig, you are worth it. Now you have to go back to your unit, and you have to survive for me, please. And when this is all over you have to come back to me, just like you said you would, because if you don't then I will come for you, all right?"

Ludwig smiled just slightly, his eyes slowly softening. "Yes, Feliciano."

Feliciano closed his eyes, felt Ludwig's voice soothe away all his fears and fill his chest with warmth. "I just, I can't believe I'm with you again, I can't believe you're…"

"I'm here, Feliciano." Ludwig pressed a kiss to the top of Feliciano's head. Feliciano smiled as he heard those familiar words, the ones Ludwig always knew to say when Feliciano needed to hear them. "I'm here with you."

Feliciano leant against Ludwig's chest, felt his breathing; listened to the steady rumble of the car engine as he stared out the window at the dark, star dusted sky. No other cars passed them on the long, narrow road leading towards the northern village, and Feliciano wondered briefly if he should ask Lovino to just keep driving on to Switzerland. He almost laughed at what Lovino would say. But at the same time, Feliciano reminded himself to thank his brother later for staying silent as he drove. It was probably taking him an effort to do so.

Feliciano traced aimless circles on Ludwig's arm. He did not want this drive to end. The thought that they would soon reach their destination, that Ludwig would leave again, cast a shadow on this brief, bright moment. Of course Feliciano wanted to just keep going, still wanted to run somewhere there could be a place for them, but he knew now that was impossible. War continued, and Feliciano had to go home, and Ludwig had to go back where he was safe. But Feliciano also knew that war would end one day, and when it did, they would be together. "I heard your plane went down."

"Yes."

"Is Greta all right?"

Feliciano felt Ludwig's chest rise sharply. "No. No she is not."

"Oh." Feliciano kissed Ludwig's shoulder again. "I'm sorry, Ludwig. Will you get a new plane? What will you call her?"

Ludwig hummed thoughtfully, his hand twisting in Feliciano's hair. "I think… Bella."

Feliciano shook his head, smiling, filled with joy and laughter and not a little annoyance. "Bello, Ludwig."

Ludwig's chest moved again as he laughed softly. "Very well. Bello."

Feliciano held to Ludwig as close as he could; it wasn't enough, and yet, it was everything. These few minutes were the greatest he had known for months. But the trip was too short, and all too soon those fleeting, wondrous minutes were over. The car stopped, and Feliciano felt his breath stop with it. He forced his hands to move, took a folded paper from his pocket and passed it to Ludwig. "Your contacts are waiting a few miles down this way, closer to the village, around the bend in the road. The exact destination is written on this." Ludwig looked down at the paper and put it in his front pocket, then gazed at Feliciano with conflicted, tormented eyes. He clung again to Feliciano's hands.

"How am I supposed to leave you again?"

"It's only for a little while, Ludwig." Feliciano smiled as brightly as he could manage. "And then it will be forever."

"I won't make you wait forever. I'll come back to you."

Feliciano nodded firmly. "I know."

Ludwig placed his hands on Feliciano's cheeks, wiped his tears, then leant down and kissed him. There was no need for words, because they had said everything, and how could there ever be words for a moment such as this? Now there were only memories, and the desperate, almost painful hope and belief that one day there would be more to make. And it did not matter if that was in week, a month, a year, a century. Because of course Feliciano could wait forever. What other choice did he have?

"Feliciano, for God's sake, will you hurry the hell up!" Lovino's voice cut angrily through Feliciano's hazy head.

The kiss broke slowly, reluctantly. They had no more time. Ludwig ran a hand over Feliciano's cheek, opened the door with a reluctant hand, then pressed one last kiss to Feliciano's head before he climbed out. But as soon as Feliciano's arms were left empty, he felt an agonising, unbearable tearing at his chest. He immediately clambered out after Ludwig and stumbled to his feet on the unsteady dirt road.

"Feliciano!" shouted Lovino. "Get back in this car right now!"

Feliciano ignored him. He pulled Ludwig down into an embrace, laughed breathlessly as Ludwig's arms surrounded him. "I forgot to say goodbye!" The night was eerily silent outside the car, the sky clear and unending overhead. Clusters of trees rustled in the warm scented breeze, the little country road curved ahead, and all was dark but for the soft moonlight and the little pool of light from the car headlights.

"Crazy Italian." Ludwig smiled sadly and kissed Feliciano's forehead, his cheek, his lips. But along with the crushing sadness, Feliciano knew he would see Ludwig again, so there was a hope in his chest that had not been there last time. He was not sure why, but he felt sure that this was only a short parting. Ludwig's lips caressed his softly before he finally pulled back with a shuddering sigh, smiling down regretfully. "Bello, ciao."

And as Feliciano gazed up at Ludwig in yet another goodbye, they were all that existed, because every time he looked in those blue eyes they were somewhere else. And everything would be okay now, because the contact would take Ludwig to the German base, and Feliciano would go home and wait, and soon this would all be over and Ludwig would come back to him. But now he had to leave. Feliciano smiled one last time, let his hands fall gently from Ludwig's chest before stepping back out of his arms.

"Auf wiedersehen, sweetheart."

The shot rang out suddenly, tore through the still air, shattered the calm, clear silence. Feliciano jolted at the deafening bang and almost gasped in shock. But for some reason he could not draw a breath. He stumbled and wondered why, then he wondered why Ludwig was staring across at his chest with a stunned, cold, terrified expression. Feliciano curiously lowered his eyes, followed Ludwig's frozen stare. He blinked a few times in hazy, unreal confusion. His shirt was stained red. "Ludwig…"

A whisper. "Nein…"

It took a moment to feel the pain blossoming in his chest, but then it spread like fire, until his body was engulfed and he couldn't breathe from it. Feliciano's legs went weak and the ground rose quickly to meet him. Strong, steady arms caught him, lowered him to the ground, and Ludwig's painful, strangled cry rang in his ears. "NO… nein, nein…"

Feliciano tried to speak. He tried to ask what was happening. But there was nothing but slicing pain tearing his chest apart and he could barely see, barely hear, barely think…

"Feliciano, look at me, open your eyes…" Ludwig's voice was panicked, terrified. Then Lovino's voice screamed through Feliciano's head.

"FELI!"

"Open your eyes, Feliciano." Ludwig shouted the words, barked them like an order. "Stay awake. Listen to me!"

Feliciano blinked his eyes, tried to keep them open. He coughed, but it hurt too much. He tried to take a breath, but his chest would not rise. He tried to focus on Ludwig's face, framed by the dark sky and a million bright stars; tried to keep his gaze on Ludwig's frantic, darkened eyes. But everything hurt too much, and even though he tried to fight it, Feliciano could not stop his eyelids sliding shut. It was easier. He felt Ludwig grasp his face, run a hand over his cheek.

"No, NEIN, Feliciano... Gott, bitte..."

Another shot. Lovino screamed again. "Who the fuck is shooting?"

Ludwig shouted frantically in German. Loud, surprised voices answered him. White light exploded on the other side of Feliciano's eyelids.

"O mio Dio… mio Dio…" Lovino was panicking. Everything was coming from so far away.

"You'll be all right… it'll be all right… please, Feliciano, PLEASE open your eyes..."

Feliciano tried to obey, then tried to apologise that he couldn't. Everything was confusion. Why was everyone shouting? Why was it so cold when earlier the night had been so warm? Why didn't it hurt anymore?

And then he couldn't even try anymore. It all started to fade and a sudden awareness cut through his mind. Feliciano used to wonder if he was going to die for a free Italy. Instead, he was going to die for a German. And yet, it wasn't about that at all… it never was. If Feliciano had the strength, he would have laughed. Instead he just felt his chest grow tight as the pain drained away, the light faded, and only a faint ringing echoed in his ears.

But he could still feel Ludwig. Ludwig's arm around his back, Ludwig's hand on his face. He could still feel him and smell him and sense him, and if Feliciano had to be anywhere at this moment, he would choose right here in Ludwig's arms. He tried once more to cling to them, to Ludwig's voice, but in the end Feliciano was helpless to stop the darkness pulling him under. One last image flashed before his eyes – Ludwig holding a flower, blue eyes sparkling, smiling as the orange tinted sun warmed the long green grass around him. And just before the darkness, one last thought drifted through Feliciano's mind.

In the end, it had all been worth the risk.

Next Chapter

Disclaimer: This story belongs to George deValier. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing.

#Auf Wiedersehen Sweetheart chapter 13

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