#finally drawing the cutie properly ; 7 ;

[synphonis]

Ogerpon wa warukunai yo ne?

#オーガポン #ogerpon #Pokemon Scarlet Violet #pokemon #tealmask #indigodisk #my art #finally drawing the cutie properly ; 7 ; #she's making mochi!!! #rip pecharunt i'm sorry #just realized I coloured her right sleeve wrong aaaaaaaaa o<<

[babysizedfics]

Little Accidents, Big Developments

Chapter 8: Sink and Float

[This is an age regression story]

Chapter Summary: Roman is anxious, Virgil has some compelling things to say, Logan deduces Virgil’s true regression age, Patton gets emotional, and we say good-bye.

Chapter word count: 11,750

Other chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / bonus

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

Content warning: Light angst, but cuteness galore to make up for it.

oOo

‘All right, little prince. What should I write here?’

‘His coolness rating,’ Roman replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. His tongue stuck out slightly as he concentrated on his drawing; a picture of Kanga on the top half of a small piece of paper. Underneath the character were five rectangles, all coloured to varying levels of completion.

‘Of course,’ Patton said, nodding solemnly as he wrote “coolness” underneath the fifth rectangle on his own piece of paper. ‘And I’m guessing Tigger’s coolness rating is -’

‘Ten.’

‘Ten. Obviously,’ Patton giggled. He picked up the red crayon from the dining room table and coloured the final rectangle to completion. Just like the four rectangles above it. They signified Tigger’s bounciness, funniness, orangeness, and Roman’s seal of approval ratings, all maxed out. ‘I’m starting to think this card might be rigged.’

‘Nu-uh!’ Roman cried, finally looking up from his drawing with a pout. ‘Not rigged if it’s true. Tigger is the funniest, bounciest, orangest, coolest character, and he’s my favourite. He just has to win all of the rounds!’

Despite the frankly questionable logic, Patton was simply glad that Roman was back to his cheeky self.

While they baked, Roman had been strangely well-behaved. The way he had obediently mixed the batter, rolled the dough, and shaped the cookies without so much as a whinge was highly unusual. Patton was glad he didn’t have to tell the boy off for anything, of course, but there was nothing relieving in seeing Roman stand patiently at the side of the room while Patton washed up. There was no singing, no dancing, no bouncing, not so much as a peep from the little prince. It just wasn’t right.

Roman was boisterous, whether he was little or not; he was excitable and hyperactive and loud. Usually, he would have baulked at the mere suggestion of standing in silence awaiting instructions. Though that was precisely what he had done in the kitchen by his own volition, staring at his feet in quite a pensive manner.

By the time he had set the gingerbread haycorns and hunnypots on the counter to cool down, Patton had made the decision to extend their father-son bonding time. He knew Roman’s strange mood would persist if Patton didn’t get to the bottom of it.

‘Where are you going, sweetheart?’ Patton had asked when Roman had started walking towards the living room once Patton had finished the dishes.

‘Back with Vee and Mom,’ Roman had replied. ‘We can’t decorate them yet.’

‘It’s still father-son bonding time though! Why don’t we find something fun to do while we wait?’

He wasn’t quite as bouncy as Patton had hoped he would be, but Roman at least smiled at the suggestion.

Now, after almost an hour of crafting Pooh Cards (all design credit owing to Roman, of course), the creative side had finally been coaxed out of his sombre, contemplative mood. Patton himself had even perked up from the reassurance that he still knew what was best for his little prince.

‘What if another player that isn’t you gets Tigger’s card?’ Patton asked, neatening the edges of the coloured rectangle. He was careful not to budge Roman with his elbow as did so. ‘Won’t you be sad to lose?’

The scritch of Roman’s crayon paused for a moment, then continued. ‘It will be a worthy loss.’

What a funny little boy, Patton thought with a chuckle. Having finished with Tigger’s statistics, he put the crayon back in Roman’s Lion King pencil case. ‘Okay, last one!’ He slid the card across the table to Roman’s spot. ‘Do you need your dad’s help to draw Tigger?’ Patton asked. (Not so much because he was expecting a positive response, but because he knew the question reinforced both of their respective headspaces.)

‘I got it!’ An orange crayon was snatched from the table.

Patton sat back and watched as Roman drew his favourite character with a bright smile. It was impossible not to mirror it. ‘Once you’ve finished drawing Tigger we can decorate our cookies!’

‘Dad,’ Roman whined without looking up from his drawing, ‘they’re not cookies. They’re haycorns and hunnypots.’

‘Right, haycorns and hunnypots,’ Patton quickly corrected himself. ‘I keep making that mistake, don’t I?’

There was no response from Roman, who was clearly concentrating on getting Tigger’s tail just so.

‘Cutie pie,’ Patton couldn’t help but coo. When he pinched Roman’s cheek the younger side laughed so sincerely that Paton was hit by a wave of equal parts joy and guilt.

Joy because Roman was happy and so utterly adorable. Guilt because Patton clearly didn’t spend enough time with his little prince if this was such a rare sound to him.

‘I’ll get the icing ready,’ Patton whispered, leaving the room quickly.

By the time he had moved the cookies and the icing bowls into the dining room, Roman’s drawing was complete. Patton praised him heartily for his work (to which Roman blushed and giggled) as he arranged their workspace with the three different bowls of glace icing - yellow, pink, and mint green - and the cookies, plus a tube of white writing icing for the hunnypot labels.

Excited to be in charge of yet another creative project, Roman instantly took on a leading role. ‘Dad, you’ve gotta do the writing on the hunnypots and fen - and f-th-then I’m gonna do all the pretty colours!’

‘Right-o, kiddo!’ Patton saluted him, then got right to work. ‘You always have such wonderful ideas, don’t you, little prince?’ The lid to the writing icing tube put up a slight resistance as Patton unscrewed it.

‘Mhm… I’m clever,’ Roman mumbled slowly, concentrating as he spread some green icing onto one of the haycorn cookies.

‘Just like your mom. I’m sure him and Vee agree too.’

‘Vee thinks I’m clever?’ Roman asked, his voice a pitch higher from excitement.

‘Of course, sweetie. He looks up to you a lot.’ The tail of the “Y” that Patton piped accidentally curled off of the hunnypot in his hand. Patton placed the cookie back on the cooling rack and licked the sugary blob off from his fingertip. ‘You two are such lovely brothers - you’re practically inseparable.’

There was a gentle snap. Both Patton and Roman looked down to see that the haycorn in Roman’s hands had snapped in half.

‘Oh…’ Roman breathed as he looked down at the broken cookie. The pout on his face was so intense that Patton was almost worried he would start crying.

‘No, it’s okay. Here,’ Patton gently took the gingerbread pieces from his fingers. ‘Your dad can work his magic and glue it back together with icing. You just keep making them look pretty, sweetheart.’

They resumed decorating in silence, with something indescribable hanging heavily in the air between them. Patton kept quiet, allowing Roman space to speak if he wanted to say anything. Then, after a couple of minutes:

‘Dad?’

It sounded shy, so instead of looking at Roman and possibly making him more nervous, Patton’s eyes remained on the haycorn halves that he held together. White icing oozed from the crack as he waited for it to set. ‘Yes, my bright ray of sunshine?’

The nickname pulled a little giggle from Roman, brightening the atmosphere infinitely. He sounded a bit more confident when he asked, ‘Is, um… is Vee wearing a diaper?’

Patton’s gaze snapped onto Roman’s face in faint shock.

‘There was a weird sound when Mom moved him earlier,’ Roman explained. ‘And you said he feels littler ‘cause you tried something new.’

There was no variation of upset or amusement on Roman’s face, so Patton was not concerned when he confirmed, ‘Yes, he is wearing a diaper, you’re right.’ Though he still felt it important to add, ‘Does that make you feel okay?’

Roman quickly nodded, clearly desperate to show that he was not in opposition. ‘No, it’s fine. W-wait, I mean yeah! Yeah, it’s okay.’ His eyes fell down to the cookie in his hands as he continued decorating. ‘It makes sense. Babies need diapers, right?’

‘Right.’

The way Roman gazed at his cookie reminded Patton of how he had appeared in the kitchen; contemplative. It was clear that Roman had more to say, going by the way his toes tapped at the foot of Patton’s chair rapidly. Patton waited.

‘Okay, wait, so,’ Roman eventually said, sounding as if he were a student troubling himself over a difficult math problem and Patton was the teacher who could shed some light on its solution. ‘Virgil really can’t go to the toilet?’

Patton readjusted himself to lean his elbows on the table, settling in to patiently help Roman through his confusion. ‘Not when he’s regressed, no.’ The cookie halves wobbled a little in his hold.

‘And can he really not speak properly?’

This time Patton had to take a moment to think over his answer. He hadn’t actually considered questioning whether Virgil’s hindered speech was genuine. Now that he thought about it, Virgil did appear to try hard when he spoke while regressed. Although the babbles were quiet and seemed to meld into each other, they were notably forced. As if he was putting a lot of effort into getting them out. And yet they were only ever half-coherent at the best of times.

‘No,’ Patton said, smiling to himself at the realisation. ‘I don’t think he can.’ The reminder that Virgil’s regression was all-encompassing sent a rush of excitement racing through Patton’s veins. He truly was responsible for an incredibly vulnerable baby. While that thought might have been intimidating to some, Patton was filled with pure comfort at the mere thought. It was like he was finally fulfilling his purpose. It was like coming home.

‘So… Vee is really, actually a baby.’ Roman’s eyes were wide and his voice laced with astonishment.

‘Yes,’ Patton confirmed with a giggle. It sounded like this was a new revelation to Roman. ‘Your baby brother is really, actually a baby.’

Roman’s brow pulled into a light frown as his spoon swiped over his cookie one last time before dropping into the icing bowl with a clatter.

It was clear Roman wanted to ponder over the answer, for whatever reason, so Patton turned his attention to testing the cookie in his hands. At the slightest pressure, the two halves broke free from each other, and he tutted. Replenishing the icing more liberally this time, he held the jagged edges together firmly again.

‘I like that,’ Roman muttered.

‘What’s that, sweetie?’

‘I like having a baby brother.’ Patton saw Roman nodding as if assuring himself of his decision. ‘I don’t want Vee to be like me, I like that we’re different.’

The last part seemingly came from nowhere, and the whole discussion seemed oddly disjointed, though Patton didn’t show his confusion. Instead, he opted for his standard smile of loving support, which would always be appropriate in any situation as far as Patton was concerned.

‘Well, I’m glad you like it!’ His tone bounced cheerfully. ‘And I know that Vee really loves having a big brother.’

‘Hm,’ Roman hummed and picked up a hunnypot cookie to decorate. Something in the slow movements of his fingers as he iced the treat felt off.

Patton nudged him gently, jostling his elbow. A sympathetic smile wormed its way onto his lips when he saw distant eyes snap onto him. Roman’s throat rolled with a gulp.

‘What’s the matter, little prince?‘ Patton murmured sweetly. It never took Roman long to blurt any troubling thoughts that hurtled through his mind when Patton asked about them with such softness.

Right on cue, Roman sighed explosively. Then he began: ‘Now that I’m part of the family -’

(Patton’s heart twisted. Now that Roman was part of the family. As if he hadn’t been before.)

‘- I’m kind of…’ Roman paused, nibbling his lip. His eyes fell to the table as he whispered, ‘I’m scared.’

Patton instantly dropped his cookie to the table. He didn’t care that it split apart once more, leaving a thin line of white, sugary goop on the wooden surface - his only priority at that moment was Roman. His little prince always placed so much importance on being fiercely brave and strong. Patton knew this must have been an exceptional circumstance for him to actually admit to feeling afraid.

‘What are you scared of, honey?’ he asked, his tone as steady and firm as the arm he placed around Roman’s shoulders. It was of utmost importance that Roman saw him as a supportive, strong father figure during that moment of rare vulnerability. It had to be known that Patton would protect him from anything that was causing him distress.

‘I’m scared it’ll end.’ Thankfully, Roman clearly found Patton supportive enough to lean against him as he spoke. ‘You know, us being a family.’

It was difficult to contain the urge to shrug off the mere idea. Though Patton knew better than to dismiss his loved ones’ worries, no matter how seemingly unlikely. ‘Why do you think it will end?’ he asked instead.

A sharp shrug jostled both of their bodies. ‘I don’t know… What if Vee stops regressing?’

‘I don’t think that will happen,’ Patton said gently as he swayed them to and fro. The weight against his side got heavier as Roman leaned into his one-armed embrace. ‘Your mom thinks the regression is written right into Virgil’s brain since he’s done it for so many years. It’s a part of him.’

‘Okay…’ Roman sounded uncertain still, reaching forward to fidget with the hem of Patton’s cardigan. ‘What if me and him start arguing all the time again?’

Taking the long fingers in his own, Patton whispered, ‘You won’t,’ with absolute confidence. ‘I don’t think you could go back to how you used to be after everything you boys have shared with each other.’

When Patton pressed a soft kiss to Roman’s cheek, he honestly expected to feel the tension leave Roman’s body.

Instead, the grip around Patton’s fingers tightened painfully. ‘What if he says he doesn’t wanna be brothers anymore?’ Roman’s words were frantic, panicked. ‘I don’t wanna lose him, he’s the best brother I…’

Silence reigned.

Patton’s gaze sunk to the tabletop where the two halves of the haycorn cookie lay torn apart, joined only by a thin trail of icing.

‘I just don’t want us to be split up,’ Roman whispered brokenly.

Memories flooded Patton’s mind. Of two boisterous children, identical twins, perpetually by each other’s sides despite their constant arguing. Of fearsome fights; scratching and biting and screaming. And of a thought, just a thought, that had passed through Patton’s mind one sunny day like an innocent floating cloud. The thought that one of the twins had potential and that the other was… wrong.

Memories of the following day and only seeing one child come out from their room. Of little snippets of conversation between Janus and Logan. Of realising that the other twin had not ceased to exist, but had been moved to the lower parts of the mind. (No one understood how. It was the only time a side had been moved between the conscious and the subconscious.) (That would change over a decade later when Virgil timidly knocked on their door.)

Memories of the “good” twin - Roman - seeming unaffected by the loss of his brother. Happier, even, that his ideas had no contenders. That there was no longer a double of him suggesting all manner of disturbing things that Patton simply could not stand to hear.

Warm fingers tightened further around his.

As Patton’s awareness was reeled against that cold, crashing wave of regret, his mind spluttered. Unaffected? Patton realised now the ridiculousness of the mere notion that Roman would have been unchanged by the split. By the fleeting thought from Patton - he himself still being a child at the time - that had acted as the catalyst for such an irrevocable shift in the twins’ lives. In everyone’s lives.

‘Dad?’ Roman’s gentle voice broke the surface of Patton’s turbulent reverie.

With a steadying breath, Patton forced himself back to the present and clasped both hands around Roman’s. He prayed that the tightness of his grip would dispel the trembling of his fingers.

‘You and Virgil love each other very much,’ he said, ‘and you’ve both become a lot better at showing it; when you’re little and when you’re big. Even if you did argue, you could never stop being brothers. Not now. I promise, nothing will -’ Patton’s voice was suddenly strangled by an involuntary gulp. He felt his cheeks burn as he swallowed past the knot of nerves in his throat. ‘Nothing will tear you apart,’ he finished quietly.

‘What if you and Logan break up?’

It was easy to forget how different Roman’s voice was when he was little. Him being such a master at adapting his voice for different roles, the shift in tone was subtle, though effective. The slightest bit higher in pitch, though not unnaturally so. Much bouncier in intonation, but not inappropriately so. Changed, but not overexaggerated. (Perhaps Roman was accustomed to minimising the impact of changes, Patton realised.)

Though now it was clear. This question was deeper, louder, bigger than the previous ones. It was a question from adult Roman.

Patton sighed and met Roman’s eyes equally. At that moment he was no longer a father speaking to his son, but rather a friend reassuring a friend.

‘If, for whatever reason, Logan and I stop dating…’ Patton paused. That was the first time he had verbally acknowledged that they were an item. It truly felt amazing to admit to someone besides Logan himself. Though it was a melancholy experience, to be announcing their relationship while simultaneously theorising its demise. ‘If that ever happens then we’ll still be very good friends. And we will all still be a family, I promise.’

The reluctance faded from Roman’s expression and he wriggled his hand free from Patton’s hold. A finger raised between their faces. ‘Pinky promise?’ Roman asked in childlike hopefulness.

Patton curled his little finger around Roman’s. ‘Pinky promise,’ he said earnestly.

Taking advantage of the fact that Roman’s hand was apprehended - and desperate to distract from the loaded atmosphere - Patton swiped some icing onto Roman’s face.

‘Hey!’

‘What’s wrong?’ Patton asked in mock-confusion.

Roman glared at him past a smile. ‘There’s icing on my cheek!’

‘Oh, let me get that for you!’ Patton pressed a long, wet kiss to Roman’s cheek, the icing spreading between his lips.

‘Da-ha-d,’ Roman giggled, trying to squirm away.

With a loud smack of his lips, Patton pulled away laughing. As he licked his lips clean, he took a moment to appreciate the pure joy on Roman’s face. ‘I love you, little prince. And I love Virgil and I love Logan. And I know for a fact that you all love each other too. That will never, ever end. No matter what.’

There was a loud screech of chair legs against the floorboards then Roman was on his feet, hunching over to hold Patton in a deadly-tight hug. Patton returned it with a strained wheeze.

‘I don’t want it to end,’ Roman mumbled into his shoulder. ‘I don’t want anything to change.’

That was a loaded statement if Patton had ever heard one. The sentiment behind it was clear and admirable, of course. Like Roman, Patton too loved how their family was faring and wouldn’t change it for the world. Though he was hit by the reality of just how much had changed in the past few weeks, the past few days, even the past few hours!

Regardless, he knew what Roman meant, and he wasn’t one to magnify the ambiguity of language choices. That was Logan’s job.

So - despite his uncertainty in the generalisation of the statement - Patton held Roman closer and said, ‘Nothing will change, sweetheart.’

oOo

As much as he had enjoyed his and Roman’s Father-Son bonding time (which they agreed would become a weekly ritual from then on), Patton was more than eager to return to the living room and be the happy pappy again.  It was hard to shake the melancholy from the earlier conversation, after all.

Once the hunnypots and haycorns were decorated and left to set in the kitchen, the two traipsed back down the hallway. Patton stopped just short of opening the living room door when he heard a muffled, unintelligible conversation coming from the other side of it.

He looked behind him to Roman, who mirrored his confusion. The distant voices sounded as if they were holding a full-fledged discussion. Could Virgil have been grown-up again?

Patton pushed the door open with a deep disappointment that he didn’t quite want to acknowledge. Though on poking his head into the room, it didn’t take long to see that Virgil was still regressed and in Logan’s lap. He sighed in relief.

‘Mamanaba,’ Virgil muttered, rattling Meeko with fervour. The inflection of his voice was similar to that of normal speech, even if the actual content was gibberish and his tone was still decidedly babyish.

Logan’s hands readjusted on Virgil to hold him steady as the boy kept bouncing in his lap. ‘My goodness, I never considered such a thing! Though I don’t believe that is quantifiable.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Roman laughed from behind Patton, then stepped around him in the direction of the couch.

There was nothing but pure paternal instinct that made Patton hurriedly reach out and pull Roman backwards against his chest and into his arms. He just could not bear to see the others being so sweet while his own arms were empty of one of his babies. Thankfully, Roman just settled against him and didn’t comment on it.

‘This is an academic debate, little prince,’ Logan explained very seriously, offering one of his false-stern looks. His lips twitched. ‘No interruptions, please.’

‘W-waba, mamama,’ Virgil babbled, his voice now squeaky with excitement.

Logan gasped loudly and looked at Virgil in amazement, to which the regressor giggled. ‘What a fascinating hypothesis! But have you considered the subjectivity of such a theory?’

There was a moment of quiet while Virgil looked over at the doorway to Patton and Roman. It seemed he had only just noticed their appearance. Meeko was raised to hide Virgil’s face as he collapsed against Logan’s chest. ‘Baba,’ Virgil whined, muffled by the toy at his chin.

A loud chuckle rang out. ‘Well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about,’ Logan said, cupping the back of Virgil’s head protectively.

‘Mom, can you speak baby?’ Roman asked, sounding thoroughly impressed. As he spoke, he launched himself away from Patton’s chest and skipped over to stand in front of the couch.

‘It certainly sounds like it,’ Patton murmured, watching Roman go. The sudden emptiness in his arms couldn’t hold a candle to the emptiness in his chest. Why was he so sensitive all of a sudden? Why did his chest physically ache when he wasn’t holding his boys?

Then his thoughts came to a crashing stop. No. This wasn’t about him and what he wanted. Roman obviously didn’t want a hug so he was perfectly within his right to wriggle out of it. Patton had been keeping him from his brother, after all. The memories of his and Roman’s previous conversation rose in tides, threatening to spill over. Patton had been keeping Roman from his brother again.

‘What did you two get up to, little prince?’ Logan asked. ‘Did you have fun with your dad?’

As Roman launched into an impassioned regaling of the creation of Pooh Cards and his expert cookie decorating skills, Patton floated over to the couch - specifically towards the baby in Logan’s lap. His knuckle ghosted over Virgil’s smooth cheek and elicited a small coo from him. The contact and the sweet sound filled Patton with a sudden motivation that he hadn’t realised he had been lacking.

Then Virgil pulled himself to sit up from Logan’s chest and shook his rattle right by Patton’s ear with a bright smile that threatened to dislodge his pacifier. ‘Babababa.’

‘What a fun sound!’ Patton gushed, only faintly acknowledging that Roman’s monologue had just drawn to a close. ‘I see someone’s woken up a bit since we left.’

‘He is rather enraptured by the rattling sound,’ Logan said, shuffling Virgil in his lap so that he could more directly face the others. (It was true, the way Virgil stared at his toy looked as if we were both confused and amazed by the sounds coming from it; almost spellbound.) ‘I think it’s safe to say that it is a “good stim”.’ He directed his gaze to Roman and said, ‘Virgil appreciates his present from you Roman, even if he is not able to tell you as much at the moment. Thank you for making your little brother happy.’

Roman flopped down to sit on the couch a couple of feet away from Logan with pink cheeks. ‘S’okay,’ he muttered with a nonchalant shrug that was betrayed by his wide smile.

Quite unexpectedly, Virgil whined loudly and dropped Meeko to the couch. Then he wriggled and reached his arms out towards his brother so insistently that he slid right off of Logan’s lap.

‘Vee!’ Logan yelped.

Patton acted lightning fast, dropping to his knees and catching Vee in one fell swoop. A fraction of a second later and Virgil would have hit the ground.

‘Woah, there we go.’ Patton hoisted Virgil onto his hip and stood upright again, keeping a firm arm under Virgil’s diaper to support him. ‘Are you okay, angel?’ he asked breathlessly, residual adrenaline surging through his veins.

The shock didn’t fade from Virgil’s expression for several seconds. Then, at last, his eyes swam with thick tears and he broke into a constant stream of whimpers.

‘Aww, my little baby,’ Patton cooed. He started bouncing him lightly as parents often did with wailing infants. ‘You’re all right, sweetie. Shh-shh-shh.’ Virgil’s whimpers quickly quieted at the bouncing so Patton kept it up, warm adoration swelling in his chest at just how alike a real baby Virgil was.

With a wet sniffle, Virgil buried his face against Patton’s shoulder.

‘That’s it,’ Patton murmured. ‘Papa has you, you’re safe.’ He felt a pinch at his side and looked down to see that Virgil was gripping his cardigan and tugging on the material harshly. Without looking away from his baby, Patton held his free hand out to the couch. ‘Can someone please pass me Meeko?’

A few seconds passed without any softness being pressed into his hands. Patton looked over to find Logan and Roman sat staring at him in stunned silence.

It felt as though he had unknowingly done something horribly wrong. Heat flooded his cheeks. ‘What’s wrong, what did I do?’ Was he being a bad Dad? Would they take his baby away? His grip on Virgil tightened.

‘N-nothing,’ Logan stammered.

A loud snort sounded from Roman. ‘Wow, Dad’s pretty strong, isn’t he, Mom?’

‘Oh,’ Patton breathed with a nervous chuckle, trying to hide how utterly relieved he was. The look of betrayal Logan was directing towards Roman inspired enough amusement for it to be passable. ‘You carried him earlier too, Lo.’

‘I know that,’ Logan defended, his cheeks dusting pink as he looked back at Patton. ‘Just… not with one arm.’

Patton’s eyes trailed down to realise that he was indeed bouncing Virgil easily with only one arm. 

Logan cleared his throat then muttered, ‘It is rather impressive.’

‘Well, I’m a dad,’ Patton giggled lightly. He would never have imagined Logan would be flustered by such a thing. ‘Dads need to be strong for Dad Stuff!’

‘Like catching Moms when they swoon.’

At Roman’s cheeky remark, Logan’s mouth dropped open. The creative side quickly descended into giggles.

Patton witnessed the shock on Logan’s face be wiped away by an evil grin. ‘Oh, I’ll give you something to laugh about.’ Then Roman was being tugged towards Logan’s chest, Logan’s fingers wriggling in his underarms.

‘W-wait! Wait!’ Roman’s legs kicked against the couch as he was dragged into Logan’s lap. ‘Mom, ple-he-he-ase!’ he pleaded through already hysterical laughter.

Patton giggled and shook his head. It wasn’t often Logan tickled their little prince, but when he did he was merciless. Roman’s begging would not help him.

Amongst the raucous laughter and tumbling on the couch, Patton managed to swipe Meeko from the cushion before Roman’s ankles thrust into it with a squeal.

‘Here you are, honey bunny,’ Patton said, worming the toy between his cardigan and Virgil’s fingers.

The weight on his shoulder lifted as Virgil looked up with a curious hum. On seeing that he had been reunited with his raccoon, his eyes sparkled with joy rather than tears. And, as expected, he rattled the toy for what must have been the hundredth time.

‘Why did you jump off of Mama’s lap, Vee?’ Patton asked, fully aware that Virgil might not have been old enough to even understand the question. It was worth a try at least.

The question seemed to break Virgil from the trance the rattle had him under and he started whining and wriggling violently.

‘Baby, baby, it’s okay,’ Patton tried to soothe him. It was only met with louder whines and harder kicks. ‘All right, down we go,’ he sang, doing his best to make the words bounce with joy. It was difficult considering the immense sinking sensation in his stomach as he carefully lowered Virgil to the floor.

‘Is everything all right?’

Patton looked up at Logan’s breathless question, pleasantly surprised to see Roman still in Logan’s lap, finally free of the tickle attack.

‘I just asked him why he jumped off your lap.’

At the reminder, Virgil thrust his arms out towards Roman again and pleaded, ‘Wo… Wo-Wo!’

‘I didn’t do anything!’ Roman’s shoulders raised defensively as he looked to Patton. ‘It wasn’t my fault he fell!’

‘We know that, little prince. It’s all right,’ Logan assured him, embracing him to his chest.

With a gentle smile, Patton realised that Virgil was not blaming Roman for the fall whatsoever. ‘Sweetheart, I think Vee just wants to play with you.’

Virgil’s arms stretched even further into the empty space between himself and the couch. ‘Pway!’

‘Oh, um,’ Roman hesitated, looking at the ground and running his fingers over Logan’s arms, which were fastened around his waist.

‘I would like to stretch my legs anyway,’ Logan said, carefully sliding Roman off of his lap.

There was a short moment of thick quiet. It was over in an instant as Logan quickly rose to his feet, announcing that he would fetch some more toys for them before promptly leaving the room.

Before long, Logan had returned with supplies and the caregivers had set up a baby-safe play area for the boys. A large fluffy blanket lay across half of the living room floor and more than two dozen soft toys sat around the edges of the blanket, cordoning off the area. Around the room, cushions and pillows padded the harsh corners of the coffee table, TV unit, and radiator to avoid any painful bumps.

Roman was as bubbly as ever, overspilling with exuberant playfulness as he finally had his little brother’s full attention.

‘And what doth the King Meeko have to say to this usurper?’ Roman cried regally, bouncing his stuffed dog Bumpkin in his hands to indicate that he was speaking.

Virgil giggled and bounced in place where he sat against the foot of the armchair, carefully propped up by two pillows. His laughter mixed with the rattles coming from Meeko as he shook him.

‘Vee, what do you want Bumpkin to say?’ Logan mumbled from where he sat beside Patton on the couch.

A happy hum rolled from Patton’s chest. It was rare that they got a chance to sit together while both boys were little, but Virgil had gotten surprisingly fussy when Logan tried to sit with him on the blanket. It seemed the excitement of being with Roman had chased away his languid energy and he wanted to sit alone with his brother while they played.

Despite Patton’s increasing panic at seeing his little baby sitting all on his own, not in his arms, Patton felt comforted by Logan’s closeness. It meant he could run his fingers idly over Logan’s thigh as Logan’s arm draped heavily across his shoulders. He took the rare moment of casual intimacy in stride. Usually, they had to sneak around while the boys were asleep to cuddle and kiss. Though since he had spoken so openly about their relationship with Roman in the dining room, and seeing as Virgil was either unbothered by or unaware of their displays of affection, they allowed themselves this intimate moment.

‘A-ababa,’ Virgil babbled, pointing to the soft toy in Roman’s hands.

Roman sucked in a pained breath through his teeth. ‘Oof. That’s brutal, Vee.’ It earned him a bright symphony of babyish giggles.

Over the next few minutes, Patton brought his cellphone out to take pictures of the littles. Then when Logan pointed out that he had taken more than twenty almost identical photographs, Patton rolled his eyes with a playful nudge to his partner. He would have easily taken a thousand pictures if it meant he could remember this day by the adorable scene in front of him, rather than the blunt, heavy regret hammering away within him. 

‘How old is Vee right now?’ Patton wondered aloud, partly because he was watching Virgil through his phone screen. Partly because he just needed Logan’s voice to drown out Roman’s sorrowful words from earlier that kept replaying in his head.

‘Going by his babbling and playfulness,’ Logan replied, ‘I would place him around eight or nine months.’

All of the breath wrung from Patton’s lungs as he snapped his gaze onto Logan. ‘Months?’

Not seeming to notice Patton’s shock, Logan continued watching the boys with a gentle smile and nodded.

‘That’s way younger than he usually is…’ Patton placed his phone down on the couch, feeling shaky all of a sudden.

‘I am not so certain.’ A thumb started circling softly over Patton’s knuckles as Logan explained in a low murmur, ‘At first he told us he regressed from two to five years old. Though I have been observing his behaviour over the past few weeks, and I believe he has been greatly mistaken in this estimation.’

The soft material of Logan’s slacks bunched between Patton’s fingers. ‘What, do you think he’s not that old?’ The new information bombarded him with the horrible thought that he hadn’t been doing his job as a father if he hadn’t even noticed how old Virgil was when he regressed.

Gaze fixed on their boys, lips fixed in an oblivious smile, Logan went on: ‘Nothing I have seen of his regression has suggested he is ever older than two and a half years - though even then, being that old is rare for him.’ He tilted his head in thought, which would have been adorable had Patton’s vision not been pulsating with his frantic heartbeat. ‘I wonder whether he misunderstands developmental stages, or whether it is simply a case of him being unaware of his own behaviour patterns.’

‘What ages does he actually regress to?’ Patton whispered. He stared intently at Logan, desperate for the answer that he had apparently been too incompetent to see for himself.

With utmost confidence, Logan said, ‘Three to twenty-four months.’

Hot tears sprang to Patton’s eyes. ‘Three months…’ he echoed under his breath. Practically a newborn. With a gulp, Patton’s watery eyes settled on Virgil. A newborn who had been alone for so many years.

His wet eyes being glued on Virgil’s steadily blurrier form, Patton was startled when he felt Logan’s arm pushing insistently at his shoulders. Within seconds Patton was on his feet and being swiftly ushered into the hallway. His heart lurched when the blue and purple blob fell out of sight as he was guided past the corner of the doorway and the tears finally fell to his cheeks.

‘Your dad and I are right outside if you need us. Keep playing with your little brother,’ Logan’s voice said, then the door was pulled mostly shut and Patton was surrounded by long, warm arms. ‘What’s wrong, Patton?’

It all happened so quickly that he had no hope of burying his emotions, so Patton didn’t speak. He just clung to Logan and sniffled into his shoulder, thinking about what he had learned. About Virgil being so young and consequently about everything he had ever had to deal with on his own. The loneliness, the accidents, the bullies.

Patton bit his tongue through a wave of overwhelming anger. Over the course of the next minute, he simply took in deep, shaky breaths, glad that Logan did nothing but tap out one-second intervals on his back to aid his breathing.

Then, just as he thought he had overcome the worst of it, a babyish giggle rang from behind the living room door.

A sob wrenched its way from Patton’s throat.

‘My love, please tell me what’s wrong,’ Logan pleaded, his voice gentle though pained.

‘Sorry,’ Patton choked, pulling his face back from Logan’s shoulder to scrub his sleeve over his eyes. When he opened them and caught the utter sincerity in Logan’s concerned expression, the tears started anew. What exactly had Patton done to deserve such a wonderful man?

Patton couldn’t bear to hold back his lament any longer, keeping quiet so as not to upset the boys in the next room. ‘He’s just so - he’s literally just a baby. He’s innocent and - and vulnerable and -’ his voice wobbled and broke off with a shuddered breath. As he recollected all Virgil had told them of the hate he received on his blog, that same boiling rage oozed through Patton’s entire being. It stung and made him tremble. Like poison. ‘I can’t believe those horrible people would bully him for it!’

At the hissed tone, Logan’s face crumpled with a wince. Patton was ready to vehemently apologise for himself - about to claim he had no idea where that came from, it wasn’t him at all - until Logan said, ‘I know. I am angry too.’

There was no way Patton could have predicted how comforting those four words were. They doused the fire in his chest and left him dumbstruck. The raging indignance that had been snapping and flaring within him all afternoon suddenly disappeared and all that was left was a smouldering, pathetic sorrow.

Patton slumped back into Logan’s arms in defeat.

‘He was on his own for so many years, Lo. It’s bad enough he couldn’t look after himself,’ Patton whispered and shook his head, Logan’s shirt rustling faintly with the movement, ‘but on top of that some strangers attacked him just for - for -’

‘For trying to feel safe,’ Logan finished, twining his fingers gently in Patton’s thick hair.

Delighted, squeaky laughter echoed from the living room.

‘Not everyone is accepting.’ The deep voice vibrated in Logan’s chest. Patton held onto him tighter. ‘It is an unfortunate reality in both Thomas’ world and ours, and I understand it is upsetting. As much as we would like to, we simply cannot protect our boys from every possible threat.’

The icy pang of dread in Patton’s gut was twice as toxic as the scalding anger from before. What was Patton’s whole purpose if not to look after his family?

‘Virgil was not completely helpless to it, though,’ Logan continued. ‘He disabled anonymous asks without being prompted to do so. That shows he had the foresight to prevent it from happening again. He was protecting himself.’

Gentle shivers radiated over Patton’s scalp as Logan’s fingernails combed through his hair. ‘That’s meant to be our job,’ he argued weakly, ‘and he didn’t even tell us about it.’

‘Not at first,’ Logan conceded. ‘Still, that does not mean he did not trust us.’ Then Logan pulled back from the hug, leaving Patton cold. ‘You know how reluctant he is to share things that he perceives as embarrassing. Your conversation with him yesterday proves as much,’ he said, turning and walking down the hallway.

‘Where are you going?’ Patton shrieked, his hands curling into tight fists by his sides.

Logan looked back in shock. Then he carefully reached out to pick up the tissue box that sat on the cabinet by the staircase. The movement was slow, and Logan watched Patton all the while as if he were a startled animal that had to be monitored.

Shame flooded Patton. ‘Oh. Sorry, just… not done cuddling you yet.’

A soft smile replaced Logan’s frown and he brought a couple of tissues back to Patton, holding him again and dabbing at his itchy eyes. ‘I didn’t realise you would be competing with a box of tissues for my attention,’ Logan chuckled.

Patton knew it was a joke, of course he did. He loved jokes and he loved that Logan was finally comfortable enough in himself to make them without fearing people's opinions of him. But suddenly the heat in his chest was reignited.

‘Why didn’t you just summon them?’ Patton asked flatly.

The tissue that Logan stroked over his cheekbone faltered.

‘You always say how important it is that we don’t challenge the mindscape,’ Patton went on, glad that this topic had distracted Logan enough from his sudden clinginess. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you summon since you realised the whole - what’s it called?’

‘Equivalent exchange,’ Logan supplied, blushing. It was he who realised that the programming he had set up for their mindscape to follow real world laws of physics glitched whenever the sides took advantage of their powers; summoning an object would make another of similar mass and/or sentimental worth disappear, and breaking the laws of physics would train the mindscape to disparage Logan’s carefully crafted code. For the sake of stability in their environment, they had long since all agreed to sacrifice the convenience of summoning unless in emergencies. Logan most of all, which is why Patton was so shocked when he saw he had summoned a baby book earlier. ‘I understand it was hypocritical of me to break my own rule. I apologise, it won’t be happening again.’

Patton nodded. He didn’t want Logan to think he was upset with him, though he was satisfied that he had redirected the conversation effectively. ‘What was so urgent about a baby book anyway?’

‘I could not think of anything to calm Vee down,’ Logan explained, pocketing the crumpled tissue as Patton’s face was perfectly dry by then. ‘Regretfully, I acted quite impulsively in response to his crying.’

‘Oh no, was the poor thing upset?’ Patton asked, all harsh emotion replaced by softness and concern for his little one.

With a soft sigh, Logan leaned forward to press a kiss to Patton’s forehead. ‘You know how his separation anxiety is,’ he murmured against his skin, lingering there.

Patton frowned at Logan’s chest. ‘He still has separation anxiety?’

‘Of course,’ Logan said, putting some distance between them to look down at him.

‘But,’ Patton blinked rapidly, ‘earlier he was okay with me leaving and he - he hid from me, I thought -’

‘Patton, it doesn’t disappear from one positive experience,’ Logan explained, his arms still wrapped around Patton’s shoulders. ‘It may have been dimmed momentarily though it is still very much present. I believe it may be a permanent fixture of his headspace, simply due to the ages he regresses to and his anxious nature.’

‘Oh… okay.’ It was hard to know what else to say. Earlier Patton had thought he was proud of Virgil for overcoming his separation anxiety. But hearing that Virgil would perhaps never get over it sent a wave of warm comfort over Patton. He wanted to smile, but the fluffy feeling was sullied by something. Something distant that he couldn’t identify. Something unpleasant.

‘Do you know what time it is?’ Logan asked softly, spoken as if it were a love confession.

Patton instinctively reached into his pocket, only to come out empty-handed. ‘Sorry, I must have left my phone in -’

A featherlight touch at his lips made Patton fall silent: Logan’s fingertips. He could feel Logan’s pulse thrumming through them.

‘It’s later,’ Logan whispered, his eyes swimming with utter adoration. Then the soft fingertips were replaced by softer lips and Patton fell into a dream.

They floated together for a while, suspended in the short space between their hearts. After a few gentle pecks and a quick swipe of tongues, Logan pulled away.

‘That was sweet,’ Patton whispered airily, letting his eyes flutter open. Then he saw that Logan was frowning deeply at him.

‘Patton…’ Logan licked his lips and grimaced a little. He started chuckling, ‘Just how much lemon did you put in your tea?’

It wrenched Patton from his dreamy state.

Guilt. The unpleasant feeling that was sullying his emotions was guilt. Guilt because how could he think himself supportive of his family if in the face of their developments his response had been extreme jealousy? So extreme that he had had to literally suck on a lemon to pull himself out of it.

As if that weren’t awful enough, Patton had actually felt happy when he learned Virgil would continue to be distressed by his separation anxiety.  He had failed his baby, just like he had failed his little prince by neglecting him and not recognising his insecurities. He had failed at being a dad; the one thing he thought he knew. Why was he even trying to be a caregiver when he kept accidentally hurting his family?

Roman called loudly from the living room, ‘Dad?’

A switch flipped in Patton’s brain. No, he wouldn’t give up. His boys needed their dad and that had to be him. No matter how many mistakes he made, how wrong he was, Patton would never let go of the only thing in the world he could do. He would never let go of his purpose. The one thing he lived for.

He was nothing if he couldn’t be Papa Patton.

He slipped right past Logan, not caring to check his reaction to Patton’s avoidance. With a huge smile, Patton bounced into the living room. ‘What’s up, my majestic little songbird?’

It was immediately clear why Roman had called.

Where Virgil had been sitting on the blanket before they left the room, giggling and rattling Meeko excitedly, both boys now sat. Roman’s arm was thrown over Virgil’s shoulders protectively, supporting the younger boy as he swayed and blinked slowly. His eyes were decidedly teary and he was tugging at his pacifier again.

‘Oh, my sweet little baby,’ Patton cooed, rushing over to them. The storm of guilt and jealousy cleared from his mind in an instant, leaving him a little light-headed. It was replaced by a muffled determination and affection that made everything seem softer around the edges.

Dropping to his knees, Patton pulled Virgil into a hug. There was a little whimper, and then his shoulder was immediately used as a hiding spot for Virgil’s face. ‘What happened, Roman?’ Patton asked, leaning back against the foot of the armchair. He rested his hand atop Virgil’s head and felt as though his heart had started beating for the first time in hours.

‘He just froze and went super quiet all of a sudden,’ Roman explained, letting go of his brother and collapsing back onto the blanket with a pout. ‘Then he didn’t wanna play anymore.’

‘It’s all right, Roman,’ Logan said, settling onto the floor beside Roman with a reassuring pat on his knee. ‘Virgil can play with you again another time.’ He began clearing the mess of various toys on the blanket, assembling them into an ordered line.

‘Are you upset, baby?’ Patton whispered, rocking Virgil slightly in his hold.

As was to be expected, there was no answer. Virgil only hid his face against Patton more fiercely.

‘Perhaps it was the separation anxiety.’

Patton nodded faintly at Logan’s suggestion, but internally he knew that wasn’t it. In the past, if Virgil was anxious about being separated from Patton he was much more vocal in his upset; sobbing and whining loudly. Plus he certainly hadn’t heard Virgil calling out for him before Roman beckoned him in, so Patton remained doubtful that that was the issue.

Another difference became obvious as Virgil hugged Patton tighter, forcing Patton to hunch down a little to accommodate it. Where Virgil would always scramble into Patton’s lap at being reunited with him, this time he had remained on the floor with his legs pulled tightly to his chest. Patton experimentally nudged Virgil’s knees to convince him to lower them but was met with a whine and Virgil’s whole body tensed up.

As Patton shushed his baby and swayed him back and forth, he just knew. There was no solid thought process he could attribute to his realisation. He thought it must have been his paternal instincts (which sent a rush of pride through him). Though regardless of how he knew it, Patton was quite certain that Virgil’s diaper was wet.

Then Logan spoke. ‘I think I would like to -’

‘I’m handling it,’ Patton assured firmly without looking up from his baby.

There was a short while of silence before Logan spoke again. ‘I was going to say I would like to play Pooh Cards with Roman.’

Shame flooded Patton’s mind. He chased it away by rubbing soothing circles on Virgil’s back.

‘Oh yeah!’ Roman cried, jumping up from the blanket so fast Patton was surprised he didn’t fall face-first to the floor with the momentum of it. As he bounced in place he grabbed and tugged on Logan’s hands. ‘Mom, Mom, Mom, quick, come see!’

There was a slight reluctance as Logan raised to his feet. ‘I said I would play with you Roman. Please do not pull me.’

Patton rolled his eyes. Roman was merely excited, and he knew his own strength. It wasn’t like it hurt Logan. There was no reason for him to be so strict with their little prince.

‘Are you sure you two will be all right?’ Logan asked, and his voice actually wobbled.

Logan - who always kept a steady, calm voice even in moments of distress - was presumably so worried about leaving Virgil with Patton that his voice had actually wavered.

Patton had to unclench his jaw to reply, ‘Of course we will, I’m his papa.’ It came out far more snappish than he had intended. He ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair, using the soft tendrils to distract himself from the sinking feeling in his chest. ‘I mean - he’s okay. I know what this is.’ Finally meeting Logan’s gaze, Patton offered a small smile that he knew didn’t meet his eyes.

‘Okay, love,’ Logan said softly, lovingly, and Patton knew he didn’t deserve it.

Then Logan led Roman out of the room to fetch the card game and the papa and his baby were left alone.

For a minute they simply sat, Patton still swaying them gently. Going by the fact that Virgil was no longer whimpering, it was clear the cuddle was soothing him. Patton too felt himself relaxing as their bodies moved as one and their breaths synchronised.

Over the course of those few quiet moments, Patton’s worries all seemed to float away. As if Virgil were a calm breeze, clearing the muggy clouds of guilt and bitterness from Patton’s mind and replacing them with crystal clear skies. Patton nuzzled his nose into Virgil’s hair and breathed deeply, feeling as though he hadn’t tasted oxygen until that very second. There was no other feeling in the world that could compare.

‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have a proper cuddle.’

There was no protest as Patton shuffled both of them up into the seat of the armchair. Virgil kept a tight hold on Meeko all the while, clearly afraid of dropping the toy. Admittedly, Patton had hoped he would have an opportunity to check Virgil’s diaper during the movement, but their positions simply didn’t allow for it. As soon as they were seated with Virgil on Patton’s lap, the regressor whined and hurriedly wriggled off of his legs to squeeze into the small space between Patton and the armrest.

‘It’s okay, honey,’ Patton murmured, letting Virgil curl up to his side instead. His knees were flush with his chest once more; hiding his lap on instinct, Patton realised.

‘Dad!’ Roman yelled, skipping back into the living room with a bright smile. ‘Mom really likes my game and says I’m really clever!’

Feeling Virgil jolt at the sudden noise, Patton carded his fingers through his hair softly. ‘That’s wonderful, sweetie,’ he said, trying not to feel disheartened by the interruption to his and Virgil’s time together. ‘I think you’re very clever too.’

Roman appeared to vibrate. ‘And - and n-now Mom is gonna play with me!’

‘Well, I hope you win, little prince,’ Patton chuckled, enamoured by Roman’s sweet enthusiasm. Then he put on a loud stage-whisper, ‘Try to get the Tigger card!’

A deep gasp sounded from the doorway. ‘I heard that, Patton!’ Logan entered the room with a look of mock-offence. He held a red sippy cup in one hand and the stack of Pooh Cards in his other. ‘I cannot believe you’re conspiring against me.’

Patton giggled, twirling a lock of Virgil’s hair around his pinky. ‘I’m a supportive dad, I have to be on Roman’s side!’

‘Hm, I suppose I can concede that,’ Logan grumbled, throwing a quick smile Patton’s way. He handed Roman his sippy cup, praising him when he said, ‘Thank you’.

There was a quiet whine from Virgil and Patton rocked him a little. He was probably upset by the others being so close given his shy headspace at that moment.

‘Come here, little one,’ Logan called, moving to sit by the coffee table at the other side of the room. ‘I need you to teach me how to play.’

Roman did not react.

‘Sweetie, that’s you,’ Patton whispered, reaching out to squeeze Roman’s hand.

A blush overtook Roman as he looked over at his mom, a smile forming on his lips. ‘Me?’

‘Of course,’ Logan nodded. By the casual shuffling of the Pooh Cards in his hands, it almost appeared as if Logan didn’t recognise the gravity of calling Roman ‘little one’, though Patton knew his partner better than that. He knew that Logan must have noticed Roman’s need for coddling in the face of Virgil’s younger headspace.

Patton grinned as he watched Roman rush over, sitting as close to Logan as was physically possible.

Then he felt Virgil trying to burrow into his shoulder further and looked down. The boy’s neck was noticeably strained by the action since he had to stretch awkwardly seeing as he wasn’t in Patton’s lap like he usually was.

‘Do you wanna sit in Papa’s lap?’

A slight nod came in reply.

‘All right, on three. Ready?’ Patton secured his arms around Virgil’s back and under his diaper. ‘One, two… three!’ As he easily lifted Virgil onto his lap, he took the opportunity to subtly pat and pinch the diaper through the fabric of his onesie. Definitely wet. With a swell of satisfaction at being correct in his assumption, Patton lowered Virgil to his lap and kissed his head.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed though. Once he was sitting on Patton’s thighs, Virgil immediately whimpered and hid his face behind Meeko.

‘It’s okay, baby,’ Patton reassured, rocking him again. ‘Papa was just checking if you’re still dry.’

The explanation was met with a tiny squeak. Virgil lowered Meeko, revealing his pink cheeks and rattling the toy once more. Though he did not shake it with the same vigour he had earlier; this time Meeko was gently waved to and fro quite lazily. ‘Bababa,’ Virgil mumbled.

Apparently, the diaper check had comforted Virgil and reinforced his younger headspace. Patton sighed and held his baby closer. That was just utterly adorable.

Logan cleared his throat quite pointedly from the other side of the room, and when Patton met his eyes he mouthed silently: Is he dry?

Patton responded with a slight shake of his head. Then, strangely, he felt his lips curl into a smile. Even stranger, Logan mirrored it, and Patton was quite sure they must have been thinking the same thing:

That Virgil had had an accident again, but this time there was no sobbing. There was no hyperventilating. There was no panic attack. In fact, the only indication he had wet himself at all was the fact that he had been pushed back into his sleepy baby state, and that wasn’t a bad thing whatsoever!

Looking down at him now, it was clear to Patton that the diapers were a hugely positive change for Virgil. Despite his lethargic energy, his dimples were showing at the sides of his pacifier which bobbed lazily in his mouth. As he rattled Meeko softly, his eyes sparkled with babyish curiosity. He was calm and happy. It soothed Patton immensely.

oOo

As their time together went on, Patton and Virgil cuddled and played so much that it was impossible for Patton to wipe the cheesy grin from his face. He had rocked Virgil gently, tickled his cheek softly to watch him blush and giggle, dutifully kissed Meeko whenever Virgil held the toy up to Patton with a smile, and now…

‘Are you ready?’ Patton asked in his most exaggerated baby-talk voice. ‘Is my baby ready for more bounces?’

Virgil giggled and kicked his feet a little by Patton’s hips, facing him in his lap. Meeko was hugged tightly to his chest as he nodded.

‘Ahhhh…’ Patton started, securing his grip on Virgil’s shoulders. ‘Bouncy, bouncy baby!’ He bounced his legs on each syllable, making Virgil bob up and down in his lap with little squeals of happiness. ‘What a cute little stormcloud!’

Sweet laughter continued to tumble from behind Virgil’s pacifier. ‘Baba, g-gen!’

‘Again?’ Patton repeated, chuckling. They had been doing this for several minutes by that point, and his legs ached from the constant lifting. But who was he to deny his baby when his eyes glittered with such joy? ‘Okay. Last one, sweetie.’

There was no protest, only a squeak of anticipation. Virgil really was a sweet baby.

‘Ahhhhh… bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy baby!’

Delighted laughter escaped the pair and danced in the air surrounding both of them. Then Virgil smushed his face into Meeko and made a strangled, high-pitched sound. It was a common verbal stim when he was overwhelmed by happiness.

‘Oh my goodness,’ Patton gushed heartily, huddling Virgil closer in his lap and wrapping him in a tight hug. ‘You are the sweetest, squeakiest, most adorable little baby in the whole world.’ He emphasised his point by pressing a great number of kisses to Virgil’s cheek in quick succession.

Virgil suddenly whined quite desperately and pushed at Patton’s chest to be released from his hold. Feeling a rush of concern, Patton held Virgil at arm’s length, still supporting him but trying not to crowd him. ‘I’m sorry, was it a yucky feeling, honey?’ he asked, fearing he had set off Virgil’s sensory sensitivities.

Though Virgil still smiled and promptly held Meeko up in front of Patton’s face. 

Patton bit his tongue through a wide smile. ‘Why hello again, Meeko! Would you like some kissies too?’

‘Mnh,’ Virgil hummed insistently, rattling the toy a little.

Chuckling, Patton leaned forward and pressed a loud, ‘Mwah!’ right on Meeko’s button nose. When he pulled back, Virgil dropped Meeko to his lap and held Patton’s cheeks softly between his hands.

Patton was frozen in place. His brain simply couldn’t handle the adorableness.

‘Dad, Dad, look!’

Patton held Virgil’s hands softly to stop him from squishing his cheeks for a moment. Looking over to the coffee table, he saw that Roman was holding a full deck of Pooh Cards up to him with a triumphant smile.

‘Yay, you won again!’ Patton cheered, laughing when Virgil giggled and poked his cheeks again. ‘Well done, my clever little prince!

‘He’s a complete expert at this game,’ Logan said, stretching his back with a click. It must have been an awkward position to be sat on the floor hunched over the coffee table for so long (though exactly how long Patton wasn’t sure, he didn’t care to check the time.) ‘I don’t think I will ever be able to outsmart you at Pooh Cards, Roman.’

It was clear that Logan had purposefully let Roman win every game from the snippets of laughter and dramatic sighs Patton had heard as they played. Though Roman either hadn’t clocked it or didn’t care about it going by his extreme happiness.

‘How about we have some hunnypots and haycorns to celebrate?’ Patton suggested, knowing the cookies would have been set by then.

‘Why don’t you and Virgil go and pick them for us - only one each,’ Logan hastily added with his eyebrows raised at Patton. It was a fair point to make; as much as he and Logan didn’t care much for sweets and would be happy enough to share one cookie between them, Patton probably would have let the boys have several if that’s what they so wished. He was grateful Logan was there to be a sort of filter for his blind generosity sometimes. ‘Meanwhile, I think Roman and I may need to expel a bit of excess energy.’

By him and Roman, Logan obviously only meant the creative side, who was currently shaking and fidgeting quite energetically in his place on the carpet. It was true that a quiet card game was quite a rare activity for the hyperactive boy, as was obvious by the energy overspilling from him.

Patton nodded, holding Virgil closely against his side as he stood from the armchair. ‘Okay, let’s go pick some yummy cookies for everyone, baby!’

As Patton carried Virgil to the kitchen, he heard Logan set up the soundtrack to The Tigger Movie on the speakers. It was followed by the unmistakable sound of Roman launching to his feet and starting to jump and dance around.

‘All right, can you look up for me, Vee?’ They were stood in front of the rack of multicoloured cookies now. Virgil lifted his head from Patton’s shoulder and made a hum of interest when he saw the treats. ‘Good boy. Now you’ve got a really important job: I need you to pick some pretty cookies for everyone!’

Virgil pointed at himself with a surprise in his eyes.

‘Uh-huh,’ Patton nodded, jostling Virgil further onto his hip with one arm as he picked up a plate from the drying rack.

‘Baba,’ Virgil mumbled, and Patton looked down to see he was pointing at a cookie that had gone slightly wrong. It was originally a haycorn but as the cookies all spread in the oven it had been crowded against the corner of the baking tray, becoming misshapen and wonky. It was coated in pink icing.

‘This one?’ Patton lay the plate on the counter and picked up the cookie to hold it in front of Virgil.

‘Wub!’

‘You love it?’ Patton asked.

Virgil shook his head and pointed at it again. ‘Harp!’

‘Oh, you’re right,’ Patton smiled, looking at the cookie in a new light. ‘It does look like a heart! That means it’s a special love cookie.’

‘Beshul?’

‘Very special.’ He pressed a kiss to Virgil’s head. ‘Just like my special little baby. Do you want this one, honey?’

In response, Virgil suddenly pushed at Patton’s hand and the cookie got lodged between Patton’s teeth. He giggled in surprise, pulling the cookie back out of his mouth. ‘You want this to be Papa’s one?’

‘Wub Papa!’

Just as Patton thought there were no more harsh, icy emotions in him to thaw, he positively melted at Virgil’s innocent love confession. He smiled and placed the cookie on the plate. ‘I love you too, baby. I think me and Mama can share that one. Now do you wanna pick one for your brother?’

After some quite serious deliberation, Virgil had decided on a green haycorn for his brother and a yellow hunnypot for himself. Patton carried both his baby and the plate of haycorn cookies back to the living room. The hunnypot cookie was held in Virgil’s fingers as he suckled on the edge of it (Patton had stored his pacifier in the pocket of his cardigan, making a mental note to invest in a pacifier clip for the future). It seemed their bouncing game had tired him out once more, as Virgil’s head promptly dropped back to Patton’s shoulder once his task was complete.

‘I’m putting your cookies on the table, you two,’ Patton announced over the sound of Tigger’s theme song once they had returned to the living room. He swerved himself and Virgil around Roman as he bounced (and Logan who bounced only when Roman looked at him, then stopped once Roman looked away), careful not to bump anyone as he lay the plate on the coffee table.

Patton then settled into the middle of the couch with a sigh, letting Virgil drop to his lap again. Thankfully the music was not overly loud and Virgil seemed unbothered by it as he sucked quite lazily on his cookie.

‘Is that yummy, sweetheart?’

The soggy cookie left Virgil’s lips and was held up to Patton’s. He humoured his baby by pretending to nibble it and humming in enthusiastic approval. ‘Ooh, that’s lovely! Mm-mm, very yummy. Thank you, Vee.’

It satisfied Virgil as he smiled and continued sucking on it himself, nuzzling further into Patton’s hold.

Soon Roman had gotten tired of bouncing and Logan switched the music to set up the next chapter of their Winnie-the-Pooh audiobook, claiming that it was quiet time now.

While Logan was preoccupied, Roman had finished his cookie deftly in three bites (making Patton giggle) then he approached the couch quite shyly. ‘Dad, can I…’

‘You wanna cuddle too?’ Patton asked softly, smiling in encouragement.

The acknowledgement of Roman’s unspoken request was apparently enough permission for him and he practically jumped into the spot beside Patton.

‘Excuse me, I believe you are in my spot,’ Logan announced on his way back to the couch. As Roman made a noise of offence, Logan pulled him up from the seat to collapse into it himself.

‘Hey, I was -’ Roman started whining, but cut himself off with a yelp when Logan swiftly tugged him back down into his own lap. Roman’s cheeks flushed pink and he clammed up.

‘You were saying?’ Logan asked in a lightly teasing tone.

Patton shook his head at their silliness. It was strange that whenever the two showed affection to each other they seemed to want to set it off with jokes and teasing. Though as Patton rocked Virgil in his lap delicately, he realised it wasn’t really for him to judge how they showed affection. As long as his family was happy, he was happy. And it was clear from Virgil’s sleepy hums and Roman’s blushing cheeks bunched in a smile and Logan’s soft chuckles that his family were all perfectly happy.

His gaze dawdled a little on his partner until Logan’s eyes met his and softened, crinkling with a smile. Patton bit his lip and looked down, feeling bizarrely like a shy, lovestruck teenager.

‘Dad, can I have a kiss?’

The question threw Patton a little, not ever having heard such a blunt request for affection from Roman. It was unexpected but made Patton extremely proud of his son for being brave enough to ask.

‘Of course, little prince!’ He leaned up slightly to press a firm kiss to Roman’s cheek, noting a very light stubble there.

‘And now Vee!’ Roman immediately cried once Patton had sunk back to his seat.

Patton chuckled at Roman’s strange antics, but complied, pressing a softer kiss to Virgil’s head. The baby squeaked and buried his cheek further into Patton’s shoulder. Some gingerbread crumbs littered Patton’s cardigan, but he hardly cared.

Then Roman spoke again, ‘Now Mom!’ His voice was all childish innocence, whereas his eyes screamed pure scheming adult.

A short, surprised huff escaped Patton as he looked over to Logan. His cheeks felt warm.

‘Well,’ Logan hummed, his lips pulling into a shy, crooked smile, ‘I suppose you have kissed everyone else.’ He looked down at Patton expectedly. ‘It’s only fair, right?’

Patton thought his face would split in two with how he beamed with a smile. No more hiding, no more sneaking around. Not needing to be told twice, he pushed forward, thankful that Logan leaned down to meet him in a quick kiss. It was entirely chaste, lasting a fraction of the time all of their previous kisses had done, but it lingered in Logan’s blush and Patton’s smile as they pulled back from each other.

The look of absolute calm in Logan’s eyes instilled such an overwhelming feeling of content in him that Patton had to take a slow, measured breath. Everything is going to be all right, Logan’s eyes seemed to whisper. I love you and I believe in you, I believe in us, and I believe in our family. We’re all going to be all right.

And Patton believed that. He knew things weren’t perfect, that they might never be. That Roman would not overcome his insecurities overnight, that Logan was still struggling to balance sternness and playfulness, that Virgil still struggled with asking for help and that they would have to deal with the repercussions of Virgil coming out of this new headspace likely confused. Reluctantly, Paton also acknowledged that there might have been something to his own caregiver headspace that was less than ideal if his jealousy and clinginess earlier were anything to go by.

Still, in that exact moment, everything was fine. They weren’t going anywhere. They would continue to be a family no matter what. They had plenty of time to address these difficult things. Presently, Patton just wanted to appreciate the rest of the evening in peace.

‘Is everyone ready?’ Logan asked, holding his phone up to show that the audiobook was ready to play.

Virgil breathed deeply, still sucking his cookie. Roman nodded and scurried back in Logan’s lap to lean back against him.

When Logan’s questioning gaze turned to him, Patton simply nodded and shuffled on the couch to rest his head on Logan’s shoulder. ‘Ready.’

A gentle kiss from Logan pressed to his head and Patton held Virgil closer with one arm while reaching to hold Roman’s hand with the other. He knew now that the perfect family wasn’t possible. Though being surrounded by the three people he held dear in his heart, Patton also knew that this was the closest anyone could get.

‘Chapter Ten, in which Christopher Robin gives a Pooh Party, and we say good-bye…’ 

⤛ The End ⤜

oOo

Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! ♡

AO3 link | Bonus chapter

#agere virgil #Little Virgil #agedre roman #little roman #cg logan #cg patton #ts agere #sanders sides agere #little/big series #little/big series fics #little accidents big developments

[nad-zeta]

Compatibility Matchup  (>^_^)><(^o^<)

Hi dear! I hope you’re doing well 💕 The compatibility matchup really piqued my interest and I’d like to request for Nobunaga-sama and Masamune? I get those two a lot 😅 Sending in my details again; I hope it’s not too much~

Zodiac sign: Aquarius, INFP-T, Ravenclaw/Horned Serpent house, Lawful Neutral // quiet in many occasions & is more expressive non-verbally (I am a bit louder online than in person), I adore animals (we have 5 dogs in the house, 3 adopted~), loves adventures (hiking & roadtrips) and the sky (esp. night skies), has ladylike movements (that pinky finger thing?), hobbies are mainly dancing, singing, reading and drawing, the listener type of friend, mediator in fights, always trying to see good in everyone, ideal vacation would be going someplace new for a few days, a curious one, sometimes called a cat or ninja because my footsteps are light and lastly (finally) is someone who likes affectionate gestures (I can actually be clingy)~ *p.s. work-wise I think I’m quite like Mitsun; focused to the point I forget to eat properly and socialize sometimes

I always love your insights on things like these! 🥺💕

Hi hi, love! ❤❤Hehe, thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy it🌻! And I hope you are keeping safe and well and not overworking yourself! 😏🔥🌻

Nobunaga

Pros of dating Nobunaga

Definitely have an introvert vs extrovert relationship going on

Because he is so extroverted, he is easily able to pull you out of your shell

He is hella patient, so he will let you open up to him at your own pace, although he soon notices you express yourself more through non-verbal gestures

Will play games of Go with you, as an excuse to spend some quality time with you, after you rejected his *ahem* advances that first night

He is also an adventurous soul and will sneak out the castle with you, just so the two of you can spend some more quality time together and go on some fun adventures and explore new places

Nobunaga is always travelling to check up on his various territories, so he always opts to take you with for some good company on the long journey, not that you mind cause you love going to new places and seeing new things

He will 100% spontaneously taking you with him on a hiking trips 

He will insist that you sit in front of him, just so he can wrap his arms around you and rest his chin on your shoulder

He is a sneaking boy, so he will definitely nibble on your ear and do things to make you feel hot and bothered while the two of you ride to your destination

He legit loves how playful, and cheeky you are, especially when he is kissing your neck playfully, and you turn to look him in the eyes. 

You have a playful mischief swirling around which causes him to withdraw immediately cause that look can only mean one thing

You are going to tickle him to get payback

The two of you are more often than not, definitely sitting out on the balcony, snuggled up together in the evenings, and looking up at the night sky

Loves your strong opinions and open-mindedness, he will most likely support all your ladylike movements. 

At first, he may not really understand the concept of it, considering the 500 year time difference between the two of you, but once you explain the concepts of equality and empowering woman, he is right there by your side supporting you with any and every project

He also loves dancing, so when this man discovers you dancing in your shared room one day, he is over the moon. 

He will teach you some of his favourite traditional dances and you would teach him some of your more modern dance moves

It’s not uncommon for the two of you cuties to take over the dance floor during banquets and slow dance together for hours and hours 

He honestly loves those peaceful moments with you in his arms while the two of you sway along to the light music in the background

Also, love love love the sound of your beautiful voice, the way it has the ability to melt away all his stress and fatigue of the day.

The first time he hears you sing he simply stand in the doorway and relishes in the melodic sounds echoing off the walls, will 100% pull you up into his arms and dance with you while you sing

Loves nothing more than to rest his head on your lap as you pull your fingers through his raven hair and sing him a peaceful song

He loves your affectionate gestures and loves to be near you. 

He absolutely adores the little notes and doodles you leave around the castle for him, especially if you haven't seen each other the entire day and he starts to miss you. When he finds the little note from you, reminding him how much you miss and love him, his little devil king heart melts into a puddle.

This devil king is a secret cuddling fan so he will never refuse your cuddles, snuggles, hugs or kisses. 

In fact, if you are not sitting in his lap, so he cuddles you during banquets, he will become a very pouty boy

Cons of dating Nobunaga

He is an, incredibly stubborn and commanding man, so there would be a few fights when it comes to differing opinions of things. 

Even though he likes to be challenged, he is not really used to losing at challenges so sometimes it will be a hard pill for him to swallow.

Often you might have to be the one to admit you were wrong just to keep the peace- mainly cause you are a mediator and you want to avoid conflict and fighting 

Although lord help this poor boy if you give him the silent treatment, when you stick to your beliefs and values and he has to be the one crawling back to you, which he definitely would do cause you are his one and only fireball- although it might take a few days and war councils dedicated to getting you to talk to him again

But in saying that when the two of you do make up it is bliss and you guys spend the whole night in each others arms just loving each other and making up for lost time 

He doesn’t really share your love for animals that much, and the first time he takes you hawking with him, is a little traumatising, especially after you had just mentioned how cute and fluff the bunny was one minute, and then the next minute a hawk is swooping down to kill the poor little thing.

Although, don’t worry Nobunaga hates to see his precious fireball upset so after that incident he takes you on non-animal killing adventures

Nobunaga has a really strange sense of humour, it’s kind of dark and its not always clear when something that he has said is a joke or not… so that may take some time getting used to. 

But once you figure out his sense of humour you are there right beside him bursting out in laughter at some stupid thing he said, while everyone around you is still wondering if they should take what he said seriously or not

He is extremely possessive, although this is not all that bad. He gets jealous really quickly so you will need to reassure him that he is your one and only love. 

Will mostly get in these grumpy moods during banquets if there is a visiting daimyo who had their eye on you

“Fireball, come sit with me I don’t like to be parted from you for too long.”

Will smirk triumphantly at the daimyo after giving you a full-blown passionate kiss and trapping you in his arms for the rest of the banquet

Relationship point

I score this relationship   3/5

I think the two of you could work well together, you would balance each other out pretty well. Because of your mediating personality, you would show him new ways to resolve problems and not just jump headfirst into a fight. He would be a very doting and loving boyfriend, that would support all your dreams and ambitions no matter how crazy they would seem to the outside world. Your soft-spoken peaceful nature balances out his loud commanding/demanding nature perfectly. You are the only person who he would ever show his true soft boyish self to, and since becoming your lover, he actually lets those around him see his softy boi heart more often. There might be a few hiccups in your relationship here and there, but overall I think the two of you are pretty damn compatible. He will be loyally devoted to his queen and soulmate and would spend every day of his life reminding you and showering you in love and affection

Masamune

Pros of dating Masamune

Wild crazy adventure most of the time

This boy will legit sweep you off your feet and take you on some crazy adventure, so you better be prepared to hike up mountain sides, explore caves or even just have fast-paced horse rides through the open fields for no reason at all other than to feel the wind in your hair and so that Masamune can spend some time with his kitten

Your quiet soft-spokenness is no problem for this loud dumbass. 

He will most likely do most of the talking until you are comfortable to open up on your own. Beware dad jokes, and puns are definitely going to be fired your way

This boy will pester you 24/7, by poking your cheek or teasing you for hours, anything to get you to open up to him

Masamune like you, is a curious cat, so when he sees you always scribbling in your journal you best be sure he is ganna steal that straight out of your hands, to see what you’re up to. 

His eyes would light up in delight when he sees it filled with all your thoughts and cool ideas

Will 100% tease you, i.e. hold the journal over your head, as you try and jump to get it back, “Masa gimme back my journal!” he will legit give you the biggest smile, “Oooh and what will you do, feisty little kitten, if I don’t.” 

He loves the sight of playful mischief swirling around in your eyes, “last warning” you would say with the biggest grin

He is sister shook when you steal his eye patch and blot. It takes this wild cat 0.2 seconds to regain composure and start to chase you

The two of you cuties are always engaging in playful games like that, and usually, your game of chase would end with him catching you and tickling you mercilessly

Is hella surprised when he hears the sound of beautiful singing coming from who knows where one day. 

He is absolutely mesmerised by the beautifully soothing voice and follows the sound to the kitchen where he sees you full-blown singing and dancing

He is absolutely enchanted by you, and the way you move around the kitchen dancing and cooking

Can’t help but sneakily come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, “Well well well, you sure are full of surprises aren’t you kitten.” Cue the meal you were making being burnt by Masamune distracting you with a kiss, or should i rather say several kisses

It’s not uncommon for the two of you to be singing and dancing together in the kitchen, as Masamune cooks the two of you something absolutely delicious

You can’t help but laugh at the one-eyed dragon as he tries to dance all sexy like you but it comes out looking more goofy and clumsy

He will steal your sketches and display them all over his manor, and if someone comes to visit and takes notice of the sketch you best be sure this boy is going to brag like crazy at how wonderful and talented his kitten is

Fall in love with you again, whenever he sees you and his little tiger cub play together. He doesn’t hesitate to join in the fun. The two cute tigers usually land up play fighting for your affection.

He knows you love animals so when the two of you come across an injured kitten in the forest he doesn’t hesitate to adopt the second cat and then give the kitten to you. 

Soon the two of you manage to rescue yet another poor defenceless animal this time it was a wolf pup that’s mother had been killed by some hunters. 

Not that Masamune minds having a full house of rescued animals, he knows you adore animals, and he would adopt even a pet elephant if that meant getting to see that beautiful smile grace your face

He also loves the night sky so he would plan moon-viewings just for the two of you. 

Keeping to his spontaneous sense of adventure, he would often sneak into your room and guide you up to the top of the castles roof, where you would find a picnic set out for the two of you

He definitely calls you kitten very early on in your relationship, not only cause you’re as cute as a sweet kitten but because you are curious and stealthy like one too.

Masamune is the king of affectionate gestures well right next to Hidemama but still. He is a firm believer that action speaks louder than words so don’t be surprised if he is pulling you into an empty room when he spots you in the hallway between meetings, for a quick make-out sesh. 

He loves it when you are being clingy, and to be honest, he is quite clingy himself. He wants to spend every possible moment with you, whether it is just chilling together in his room or going on some crazy adventure, if your not there he feels a bit lonely 

Speaking of affectionate gestures whenever the two of you are apart, both of you would continuously write to each other, this ranges from cute doodles and funny puns about how your days have been, to beautiful romantic poems pouring out your every feeling and affection into it for each other

This is especially something the two of you do during times of war when you are apart 

Either way, Masamune knows that when he returns his kitten will be at the gate waiting for his ready to run and jump into his arms, as he twirls you around.

He will care for his little kitten when you go into Mitsunari mode, and trust me when I saw he is not afraid to spoon feed you like Hideyoshi does with Mitsunari. 

If he sees you are working too hard, he will be sure to bring your plenty of food, snacks and water during the day to make sure his kitten stays healthy. 

If you are looking tired or overworking yourself, Masamune will legit pick you up and throw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carry you to his futon where he will trap you in your arms and coax you to sleep. 

He won’t listen to any complaints, and if you try to complain about wanting to finish your task, he will kiss you until you forget all about your duties.

Cons of dating Masamune

In the beginning, the two of you struggle to see eye to eye much like with you and Nobunaga, mainly cause this boy is super loyal to his clan, and at one point he low key tried to kill you because you stood up for your friends Yuki and Sasuke

But after the two of you got into a relationship he puts his love for you above his duty and would never hurt you and would definitely kill anyone who would make his kitten sad! Although his clan and role as leader does cause the occasional conflict 

Also, he was a bit of a playboy when the two of you first met, and your first kiss was on a bit of a whim, because, “You just looked so cute and kissable at that moment.” This means you have to have the uncomfortable boundary talk with this wild tiger, i.e. “you can’t just go around kissing people, Masamune, the mood has to be right, both people need to be aware etc.”

Although in saying that the second he got to know you and fell in love with you, he swore off his playboy ways and dedicated his life and heart to you and only you

Because of past trauma, you need to be patient with this boy and give him as much support as possible, like when he goes into a panic about whether you are alive or not. 

Luckily your soft kind-hearted nature helps you in this aspect of the relationship cause you know he just needs to feel your warmth and beating puls/heart.

You are also the one to teach him that it is okay to cry and that it is not a sign of weakness although many a time it is you who holds him tight and cries the tears for him, that stings his eyes and unable to fall

Relationship point

I score this relationship   5/5

I think the two of you are very compatible and that’s not just because of my bias for matching you two cuties up originally. The two of you just have so much chemistry and things in common. I cant help but believe that no matter what, the two of you would 9/10 time always end up together. Masamune’s wild spontaneous side balances out your quiet soft spoken side perfectly. Masamune will always be there to bring a smile to your face with his goofy jokes and crazy shenanigans and you are always there by Masamune’s side offering him support and helping him to grow into the best version of himself. Together you two cuties make an unstoppable match, making all those around you jealous of your pure love for each other. 

I hope you enjoyed this dear! 🔥🌻❤

#compatibility #compatibility match up #matchups #masamune matchup #ikesen matchup #match ups #ikesen masamune #masamune date #nobunaga matchup #oda nobunaga #ikesen nobunaga #ikemen sengoku nobunaga #submission

[aeirwen]

一期一会 - 第2弾

“Sometimes we overcome adversity only by imagining what our world might be like if our dreams should ever come true.”

“Then what is it that you dream of?”

“I don’t know,” I gasped, clutching my chest as I held back tears, “But I know that in my heart, a part of my dream is to be with you...”

一期一会 - 第2弾 (Ichi-go Ichi-e - Dai Nidan) Tokugawa Ieyasu Rated T for Teens Word Count:  5129

[Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3][Chapter 4][Chapter 5] [Chapter 6][Chapter 7][Chapter 8][Chapter 9][Chapter 10]

Ichi-go Ichi-e Chapter 2 Covers

"Say, ‘Ahhhh!!!’”

“‘Ahhhh!!!’“

“How is it, is it delicious?”

“My, it sure is!”

“Uwaah, it makes me so happy to hear you say that.  I made all of this all for you all by myself!”

“My, I would never have imagined!  To think that my precious Oai would be so talented in the kitchen.”

“Who is that?”  “Did Lord Tadasugu get himself a little mistress or something?  “An old guy like that still getting it with young, pretty girls like that...I wanna know what kind of tricks he used...”  “I wouldn’t mind hitting it up with a cutie like that either.  “She looks so small and frail even with all those layers on.”

“Oji-chama, I want to stay here and cook for you forever and ever.”

“Oh!!!  Lord Tadatsugu has a granddaughter?”  “That’s his granddaughter?!!”  “I call dibs!!”

In the momentarily quiet dining hall, as I was feeding my grandfather, hoping that it would entice him to let me stay, where we sat together was all of a sudden intruded upon by a large crowd of various men in various shapes and sizes.  Shocked and surprised, Ibuki moved back to avoid being trampled on.

“Hi!”  “Hey!!”  “Nice to meet you!”  “What’s your name?”  “How old are you?”  “Are you single?”

My face contorted with pain and I whimpered, “Y-you’re stepping on my hair...”  As I held onto the long lengths of my locks, upon seeing my teary eyed reaction, all the men suddenly became a lot more excited and sat around me, asking me question after question without even giving me a single chance to answer any of them.  Honestly, with so many words being thrown at me all of a sudden, my head was beginning to spin.

As I struggled to keep up with the conversations, my grandfather chuckled, apparently amused by the attention that I have suddenly garnered.

“Did you make these all by yourself?”  “They look delicious!”  “I’m quite jealous of your grandfather.”  “Might I have a bite to try as well?”  “It would please me very much if you were to feed me too.”

“Ahem!”

At the sudden interruption, silence had filled the hall.  All eyes turned upon the lord who had finally graced us with his presence.  Quickly, and as quietly as they possibly could, all the men who had surrounded my grandfather and I had rushed back to their seats as Lord Tokugawa Ieyasu entered the hall followed by a number of other men with various expressions on each of their faces at the sudden notice of me.

Oddly, suddenly nervous, I stayed silent and closed my mouth, staring down at the tatami calmly.  Or as calmly as I could fake it, feeling all eyes on me much more apparent than before.

“Wow, Lord Tadatsugu, you sly old dog.  You still got it in you, don’t you?” mused a rather brawny man as my grandfather laughed vaguely.

The last one, and perhaps the youngest looking one as well, merely glanced at me before finding his place to sit as Lord Ieyasu lowered himself where his tray sat at on his dais.

Maybe I did not know my manners...  Or maybe it was just something I wasn’t very used to.  The moment Lord Ieyasu had entered the hall, everyone had gone quiet and was having their morning meal quietly.  It oddly made me feel nervous about enjoying my time with my grandfather, sitting there, watching him enjoy himself as he fed himself.

Quite bored, I looked around the room.  Of course, I was completely surrounded by very handsome men, I suppose.  Each one perhaps had some charm to their own if one were to think about it...

The very tall and very skinny one was perhaps quite an earnest character, perhaps?  The shorter, more bulky one was probably one to never give up no matter how hard the task, probably.  The older one with facial hair may not be as wise as he looks, but I’m sure he has quite the boyish side to him.  And there was a handsome one who was quiet, but I’m sure he’s very friendly and quite a charmer.

The silence in the room was driving me nuts actually...

Was it just me, or was it actually quite tense in here?

Mmmmmm...I don’t think I can stand this anymore...!

Trying hard to hide the pout on my face, I looked over to Lord Ieyasu only open my eyes a little bigger.  I watched him as he merely stared out into the hall in silence, watching each person eat their food.  His gaze upon each person seemed to send a shiver up their spine, immediately taking hold of their actions.  One wrong move could become a great misdeed, it seems.

“Lord Ieyasu!” I called, breaking the silence.  Within that small moment, every head turned my way as I dared to call out the name of their lord.  I stared at Lord Ieyasu with worry, “Have you no appetite?” I asked, “You’ve hardly touched your food.”  Or, likely, not at all.

At my perfectly innocent question, it somehow felt as though the air in the room had all of a sudden become heavier..  I almost wavered because I was unsure if I should become embarrassed or concerned...  I glanced around as he simply stared over at me with quite a pleasant smile.  Oddly though, I had this feeling that that smile on his face was not a very friendly one...

But I was not about to falter.

“Here, allow me to serve you some tea!”  Immediately, I got up on my feet, pulling my robes up as I did so in order to not trip over myself on them.  I plopped down to my knees before him, offering Lord Ieyasu a kind smile as I reached for the small teapot, using both my hands to pour him a cup.  “Uwaah!!” I beamed, “Chabashira!”  The moment I pointed down to Lord Ieyasu’s teacup, the majority of the diners closest to use stood up on their knees to peer over and see.  “How lucky!”

I looked up to Lord Ieyasu with a grin on my face, watching as he only stared dully at me before picking up the cup and downing it in one shot before anyone else could see the standing stem in his tea.

I took a soft, deep breath and relaxed in front of him, staring at him gently, “Are you not hungry, My Lord?”  Immediately, before he could respond, I placed a palm firmly onto his forehead, shocking everyone around me.  “I don’t think you have a fever...”  I pursed my lips side to side, feeling my own forehead as well with the same hand, thinking to myself what could possibly be wrong.  “...do you not like today’s meal?”

“Do you ever stop talking?” was the first thing he was able to say to me, staring at me dully.

I only stared back at him before smiling once more.  “I’m not very good at leaving people alone...”

His head only cocked to the side, eyes narrowing, as I dared answer him back.

“Oh, but you MUST eat, My Lord.  Because if you don’t, I’m sure everyone here would be worried if you starved yourself.  Whatever shall we do if you were to suddenly collapse one day?”

He only stared at me, perhaps with annoyance in his eyes.  Not perhaps.  He really did look like he was deeply annoyed with me.

In truth, the silence was getting to me.  The tension...  The look in his eyes.

I want to stay here.  I want to be here.  I want to live with my grandfather for the rest of my life.

Please, don’t send me back.

...I just don’t know how to make friends...

“Saigou Masako.”

“Yes, Grandfather?”  At the sound of my official, formal, legal name, I turned to look over at my grandfather.  The looks of surprise among the retainers of Lord Tokugawa Ieyasu were blurred upon my focus on Sakai Tadatsugu.  My eyes were red and welled with tears.

“Return to your seat and properly behave yourself.”

“Yes, Grandfather.”

I did as I was told, standing up gently and gracefully picking up the hem of my robes, tucking them away with my thumb as I moved back on my small feet to take my place beside my grandfather, softly lowering myself to sit on my knees after tucking in my clothes.

I could not notice the tensed, but red faces of the retainers within the dining hall.  I had mostly kept my eyes lowered at the tatami before me, fighting the urge to look towards his way, to look upon the Lord of Mikawa.  This was the way my aunt had taught me to behave.  I knew no other way.

“You will be well behaved and never make eye contact with anyone above your station.  Your eyes must always be lowered and you shall always hold your tongue.  Remember, you are nothing but the lowly daughter of a disgusting whore.  That is how you shall behave.”

I could feel eyes on me, perhaps multiple pairs...  And suddenly...  I felt embarrassed...  And ashamed....

Perhaps they were staring at my face, watching the tears trail down the curves of my cheeks.  I don’t know what to do, or if I could even move.  Was I allowed to wipe them away?  Or would that draw even more attention my way?

Suddenly I feel so big that I want to return to becoming small and hiding away...

“Oai, why are you crying?” my grandfather asked.

I kept my eyes lowered on the tatami and answered him truthfully...if he would let me do so...  “It felt lonely to watch Lord Ieyasu sit and stare as his retainers eat while he does not.”  The moment I made my answers, all retainers in the hall clasped their chopsticks together and set them down, sitting in silence and staring straight ahead.  “To not be able to share meals with others, let alone eat one is lonely to me...”

“You may be the daughter of the Saigou Clan by name, but even in the presence of guests, you shall starve.  You will sit there and keep your eyes lowered and make no move to partake in meals.”

“It’s alright, Oai.  Lord Ieyasu just does not have an appetite right now.  Please eat your meal.”

“When asked why you’re not eating, you will answer with...”

“I do not have an appetite at this moment either.”

“You are not my daughter and will never be.”

“And who might this young beauty be?”

“Oh, my.  This precious one here?  She is my late brother’s daughter, but since his passing, she’s been my loving daughter for many years.  Masako, please introduce yourself.”

"I am Saigou Masako, daughter of Saigou Motomasa.  It is my pleasure to meet you, My Lord.”

With a soft and gentle bow, I lowered myself before my adoptive father’s younger brother who only stared down at me with a bright smile.  I did not look upon his face, having been lectured earlier and many times not to look at the faces of those who are above me, but when he called my name, I looked up to that young, bright, and handsome face of his.

“Masako, is it?  A lovely name for child with such bright eyes.  I remember you, you’ve grown into a beautiful woman.”

Lord Saigou Kiyokazu smiled down at me kindly before passing me by and I could not help but turn to watch him leave in order to greet my adoptive father and my cousin, watching the way the three of them got along so well.

“Did I not tell you to keep your filthy face away from the eyes of others?”

With that harsh whisper heard by me and only me and my handmaiden, I lowered my face again and followed after my grandfather’s daughter.

“I should have never taken you in.  Your face, like that whore of a mother of yours...seducing even my husband, my son, and my brother-in-law...  What I would do if I was not my father’s daughter...”

“Forgive me, Mother...”

I have been rejected as early as I could remember...  My father was a samurai, my step mother was a noble woman, and my birth mother was a courtesan.  My father was constantly at war, my step mother could not care for me, nor my older half brothers under her influence as well, and my mother...a courtesan having had a child?  Her career would be over.

My father would not have me, a small girl, running around the red light district and took me away from it to benefit my future and my virtue.  But he took me away to a family that rejected me where he soon passed and my grandfather took me away to a clan who not only rejects me, uses me, and sees me as nothing but a burden...or, in special cases, a prey to be devoured...

When I was only thirteen, my adoptive father had first laid a hand one me that would scar my heart forever...  When I was only fourteen, my cousin, the one I call my very own brother, would touch me in ways that frightened me to the very core of my being...

“Please let go of me...”

Is this face of mine...really that filthy?

Sitting alone in my room with Ibuki quietly embroidering something by the door in the light, I brushed the characters I see written on the last page of the book.

Of course, I honestly am still illiterate, but I’m sure this is his name.  “Shouhei Genkou,” I softly whispered.  There were five characters in total, 松平竹千代, but what else could this be other than his name.  Shouhei Genkou...  I did not know the rules of lettering, but nonetheless, knowing that his name is written this way is beautiful to me.  “Kou-chan...”  I smiled to myself, tracing the characters with my finger on the page.

I cannot read this book word for word...but I do remember the gist of it.  It was about a young girl who lived with her father, he step mother, and step sister.  Her step mother and step sister could not stand her beauty and her kindness and did not prepare any fine clothing for her to join in the festivities in their town, but she had met a magical fish who she was kind to, and in gratitude towards he kindness, the fish granted her beautiful clothes so that she could go to the festival.  There she had met a handsome lord, but when it was time for her to leave, she lost a jeweled slipper and he had used that to find her, seeing that her feet was so small and dainty, no other woman could fit their foot inside.

It’s a beautiful, and enchanting tale.  One that I wish would come true...

But these clothes are not mine, these shoes are not mine.  Everything I have, though little it may be, I do not possess.  All that I am adorned with is to keep the appearance of a loving daughter who has loving and devoted parents.

“Oai.”

“Yes, Grandfather!” Given a start, I immediately closed the book.  I looked over to him with as bright of and as cheerful of a smile I could.

“My Lord.”  Ibuki immediately placed her things down and bowed low on the tatami.

“As you were,” he replied, stepping in to take a comfortable seat next to me.  “I’ve been thinking a lot since you’ve arrived...  Why have you come to visit me?”

I stared at him innocently, “Because...I really miss you, Ji-chama....”  I lowered my face, trying to act cutely.

He only chuckled in response before pressing on, “Grandfather misses his precious Oai too, but this is a place filled with many men.  There aren’t a lot of women here to keep you company.  It’s not very proper for a young woman to reside in a place filled with men, won’t you go back home?  I’m sure your mother is very worried about you.”

I stared at my grandfather and forced a smile, doing my best to hide the hurt in my eyes, but I couldn’t.  my brows crinkled and tears had already welled in my eyes before I could tell myself not to cry.  Grandfather made no change in expression, merely only staring back at me nonchalantly.  If he knew how terrible it was to live there, would he still tell me to go back home?

Would he believe me if he knew what was going on?

Grandfather finally broke eye contact with me as Ibuki only quietly listened, sighing as he looked out to the bright and sunny sky outside.  The birds chirping and singing.  “Perhaps it is time I marry you off to a respectable young man.  I don’t know if your mother and Motomasa are ready to give you away yet, and I find myself teary eyed at the idea of it as well because you are my only precious granddaughter, but you are not a small child anymore.  You’re finally a grown young woman, ready to become an adult.  If only your father could see you now, you probably don’t know how much he loved you knowing you were only so young when he left you.  Perhaps your Aunt and Motomasa aren’t ready to let you go yet, which is why perhaps it is I who should find the strength to do so.”

I sniffled and gasped, trying not to let my voice crack, “Oji-chama, would it not be alright if I could just stay with you for the rest of my life?”

He laughed at my words and dabbed his eyes with his fingers.  “Oji-chama might not even last in this world for the rest of your life so he needs to find someone who can.”  He patted my head and brushed away my tears, only, doing so had caused more tears to spill.  “Listen to Oji-chama, alright?  He’s only going to look for someone to take care of you.”

“But what if Oai can take care of herself?” I asked, wiping away my tears as I shook before him.  “I don’t want to get married, I just want to stay with Oji-chama for the rest of my life.”

“Saigou Masako.”  I lowered my head and shut my mouth in response to my official name.  “Please do not let Grandfather worry for your future.  I took you away from an arranged marriage when you were only nine years old, to this day, I am still not sure if it was right or wrong of me.  I’m sure, had you gotten married then, you would have been well taken care of, but I am also sure that your father would not have wanted that fate for you.”

“Would your worries for my future be sated just by my getting married?”

My grandfather stared at me gently and nodded.  “Yes.”

“If this was possible, would you allow me to choose my husband?”

“Choose your husband?”

“I don’t need an advantageous marriage, because marrying someone like me, the daughter of a courtesan who is no better than a peasant brings no merit to a lord in a high position...”’

“Oai, what are you saying?  You are my granddaughter, my son’s daughter, and the adoptive daughter of Saigou Motomasa.”

“...but my mother, my birth mother, is a courtesan, what right do I have to seek a noble husband?  If I were to be married, I would like to choose my husband with the hopes that despite everything, he will choose me.”

“Saigou Masako, your name is worth more than your blood.  Who had taught you to think this way?”

“I don’t want a husband who’s life I will end up worrying about like my father’s and my grandfather’s.”

At my response, Grandfather softly sighed, staring at me with worry.  “Won’t you understand your grandfather’s heart too?”

“I’m not afraid to be alone for the rest of my life.”

“Oai, please do not say such sad things.”

“I have Ibuki with me.”

“I’m sure Ibuki would like to have a significant other in her life at some point too.  What would you do then?  In this world, a woman trying to survive on her own is not an easy task.”

“If marriage solves every problem a woman has, there is only one person I would like to meet again.”

“And who might that be?”

Grandfather waited for my answer, staring at me as I wiped away my tears.  I opened the book that sat on my table and flipped it all the way to the end.  “I do not know if this is really how his name is written, but there was a boy I met a long time ago.  This book belonged to him.  His name is Shouhei Genkou.  I would like to marry him in this lifetime.  Perhaps he may not be an advantageous marriage for me, but I would not be advantageous to him either.  If upon meeting him once more, I find that I would not like to meet with him again, then I will allow Grandfather to marry me off to whoever he wishes.”

My grandfather stared at the page where a name was written in large letters.  He looked at me, utterly confused and bewildered as I stared back at him, in all serious manners.  It wasn’t until he burst out laughing that I felt offended.  Was it truly not a name?  Was it actually a sentence??  Was 松平竹千代 actually meaning, “this is the end”???  Did I make a mistake?  The way Grandfather had laughed, slapping his leg and wiping his tears away deeply hurt me.

“I-is this not a name...?” I asked, suddenly worried and feeling stupid.

I had not known that the characters 松平竹千代 stood for Matsudaira Takechiyo.

I was only 9 years old when I met him.  When I met my husband-to-be that is...  Adorned in my red kimono and heavy hair ornaments, trying to balance it all on my head on my thin neck, I bowed to someone who looked very old to me.  Not old like a grandfather or a father...but someone who was obviously a lot older than me.  Sitting face to face with him, trying to sit back up with all these heavy ornaments in my hair, it was quite obvious that I was still just a child in front of what I did not know was still a teenager.  He looked kind of mean, really, really scary actually.  I was quite afraid to be honest, scared enough that I actually cried and wet myself in front of him.

Me...a nine year old girl, already getting married to someone so old and mean and scary looking!

I could not have embarrassed my grandfather and the Saigou Clan more!

What I did not know was the person I had done that in front of was THE Lord Oda Nobunaga himself.

I was so shook and frozen, that my pee drenched self had to be carried out by who I did not realize was my uncle at the time, Lord Saigou Kiyokazu.

“Was he really that scary, Lady Saigou Masako?”

I did not know his name at the time, but Lord Kiyokazu seemed like someone I could trust.  I nodded hurriedly to him, covering my face as I trembled before him.  He was my adoptive father’s younger brother who had came here in his place as my guardian.

“That’s alright.  Getting married can be a very big thing for a girl.  Let’s go get you cleaned up now, okay?”

I nodded and let him pick me up with his arms.  He did so gently and kindly despite the fact that I had used the bathroom in my own clothes...  I mean...not my clothes...as my Aunt had mentioned many times.  These clothes did not belong to me, they are only given to me to make myself look presentable as the daughter of the Saigou Clan.

While having been bathed by the maids of this castle, I could not know what kind of negotiations could have transpired in my absence but after my bath, I was pleasantly surprised when my grandfather had came for me and told me that it was time for me to go home..

“Oji-chama, is there a reason why I’m going home?  I thought I was getting married?”  Although I was happy to leave Owari, I was still curious as to why I was leaving.  Was it because I used the bathroom in front of that old, scary, and mean looking lord?

Grandfather only smiled at me kindly, “You could say Lord Oda Nobuhide took pity on your age and had pardoned your duties as the daughter of a samurai this time.”

“This time?  You mean, I might have to come back later?”

“Maybe, but for now, are you glad that you won’t be getting married yet?”

I smiled and nodded, staring eye to eye with my grandfather.  “Because, that means that I know I can still see Oji-chama’s face again and again.  I’ll still be able to see Oji-chama so he won’t ever feel lonely without me!”

Grandfather laughed happily to my reaction.  “Oji-chama feels very happy to hear Oai’s honesty.”

“But, is it really time to go home already?”  As I followed after Grandfather on my small and tiny feet, I turned my head to look back at the castle, wondering where that boy had gone.  “Oji-chama, there’s someone I want to say goodbye to before we go home.”

“Oh?  And who might that be?”

“Kou-kun!”  I had saw him for a fleeting moment, and I don’t know how or why, but I had already done so without thinking, running back towards the castle even though Grandfather had called my name.

I ran kicked off my geta and ran on the dirt in my white socks because if I didn’t, who knows if I’ll ever get the chance to say good bye.  I ran around to the back side of the castle and slowed to a stop, pretty sure that I saw him go this way until I spotted the tree where we had first met.  Looking around my surroundings, seeing no one around, I ran to the tree, sure that we wouldn’t be spotted if we met there.  The tree was a fairly large one, surely enough to hide two small children.  “Kou-chan?”  I walked around the tree, once, and did not see him.  I looked around, my heart slowly filling with the pain of disappointment.

Honestly, where did he go?

I really, really wanted to say goodbye before I left.

I don’t know why I was such a sensitive child...but my eyes were definitely becoming red again, welling with tears.  My fingers curled into my palm and dejectedly, I took a step forward again in order to make my way back to my grandfather, ignoring the pain of stepping on sharp rocks on my feet until a voice called out to me.

“Goodbye!” was what he said.

Startled, I looked up and searched for the source of that sound and saw that Genkou had peeped his head out from behind a different tree.  Without another thought or care, I ran over to him, huffing from not having run to often, especially in heavy robes.  I took deep breaths when I reach him, panting as calmly as I can so that I can give him a proper goodbye.

“Kou-chan, I have to go home now,” I told him as he only stared at me indifferently, as if he already knew that.  “Thank you for keeping me company these past few days.  I had a lot of fun thanks to you...”

“Are you really leaving already?” he asked, his eyes narrowing as the wind suddenly blew, causing a rush of cherry blossom petals to shower around us.

“That’s what Oji-chama said, but I’m sure we’ll see each other again, I think.”  I smiled to him.  “I really hope that we can meet again someday, sometime soon.”

“Can I do that thing again?”  His eyes narrowed even more as he tried to hide himself even more behind the tree, his words coming out as more of a mumble.

“Hm?  What thing?”

As he removed himself from the tree, another gust of wind summoned cherry blossom petals our way again and he pulled me to him, bringing his lips against mine in a sudden kiss.

I had froze right there, my feet planted on the ground as he pulled back, face face reddening by the second.  My face tingled and I could feel the heat on my cheeks.  I didn’t know what to do, the only thing I did was press my hands against them, trying to cool them down with my cold hands and trying to stop the tingling.

The boy didn’t have a very kind face, in fact, I mostly see him scowling or pouting, but even he looked a little embarrassed as he reached over to me with his hands and peeled what must be a cherry blossom petal off my lips.

Overwhelmed and shocked, I stood there for some time, holding onto my cheeks as he just simply walked past me and disappeared.  I could not find the strength in me to turn and watch him leave, I was still too paralyzed to move that I simply just stood there and waited to feel  the blood circulating in my legs again.

That was the last time I saw him before returning to grandfather with my hands still pressed against my cheeks.  I never went back to that castle and I don’t know where he is now.

But wherever he is...I hope that he is safe and sound.

“I’ve already made that girl my woman, so you will not have her as your wife.”

Even though grandfather had laughed at me, that night, I still opened the book and stared at those characters.  Grandfather did not explain to me why he laughed, he had just simply left my room, unable to control himself.  And each time after that when we would see each other, he would just keep on laughing.

I can stare at these characters all I want, and I can believe that this is Shouhei Genkou’s name all I want...

But it doesn’t hide the fact that I still cannot read it to know it for sure.

But...I really do...  I really do want to see him again.

I can feel the heat and the tingling sensation on my cheeks again, pressing my hand against them as I remember what we did the last time we met.

[Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3][Chapter 4][Chapter 5]

[Chapter 6][Chapter 7][Chapter 8][Chapter 9][Chapter 10]

A Message from the Author (A couple months ago...):

I’m not gonna lie, I’m stuck.  :)

4 January 2018

I would like to thank @frywen-babbles for the comments I saw in your tags when you reblogged my fic.  I would also like to thank @strawberryasu for the comment as well.

lol, honestly, somehow, I started seeing notifications on this fic again and I began to wonder what was going on since the first chapter I posted was about over a half a year ago.  But yeah, lol.  What was going?  Why am I all of a sudden seeing notes in December?

But truly, and honestly, I decided to try and come back with chapter two for you two.

I actually began writing chapter 2 back in July 2017, but I don’t know what happened.  I kept getting stuck as I wrote and rewrote and rewrote.  I even went back to replay Ieyasu’s route just to find some inspiration and motivation, but I also got “promoted” without actually getting promoted.

Work took over my life.  I went to work, came home, slept, got up, and went back to work.  I took over the head clerk’s position because she found a new job and I was given hers out of merit when there was another clerk who has seniority over me.  That other clerk soon left too because he found a job closer to where he actually lived.

My department became understaffed and it was a nightmare during the holidays, lol.  And now they’ve cut our hours.  Why?  My guess is because the wage went up.  But not only did the wage go up, the price of everything went up too...so...fun days at SlaveAway.

But I will try...try my hardest and best to keep updating this fic.  (Might not get this chapter done until the end of January though...  GDI, Cynthia...)

I know this fic has potential.  I know it does.  And even if it doesn’t, I don’t care because I LOVE Charyouei and I have so many things I’ve already planned in my head for the two of them.  She is actually the first sweetest, cutest, purest original character I’ve created.  (I think.)  Whereas, I usually have a lot more original characters who are severely mentally ill, have a lot of issues, and/or carry a LOT of emotional baggage.  And, while I do say that, it doesn’t mean that Charyouei doesn’t have any of that, she does, but she leans on the more positive, optimistic side.  Iyaa, iyaa, iya...  I need to stop talking.  (Cynthia, you talk to much.  Put a lid on it.)

Thank you so much for reading and I will try harder from now on.

In the end, I did not get back with this until some time in February...

Sorry, guys...

#slbp #tokugawa ieyasu #slbp tokugawa ieyasu #samurai love ballad party #fanfiction #一期一会

[vcnder-blog]

wow...it’s really me...agAIN and i have literally nothing together yet, but i’m hyped so hello! i’m sam, 20, she/her, est timezone and i also play ben the sourwolf and the cutie quill wallace so you can message me wherever for plots! anyway, let’s get into it! details about this one who has never done anything wrong ever in his life will be under the cut and you know the deal! i want all the plots!

➰ ( AVAN JOGIA, CISMALE, HE/HIM ) *✧.:°░｡ —- is that VANDER SANGHAVI ?! you know them, right? they are the 25 year old SHADOWHUNTER !! they’re known for being BENEVOLENT & INDIVIDUALISTIC - but i’d be careful if i were you because they’re also QUIXOTIC & RESTIVE. i heard they volunteered to be paired with SOPHIE TURNER.

so first thing’s first: his full first name is actually devander if i remember what i picked correctly lmao but he doesn’t like to be called that and literally no one ever does call him that except for his parents

wHO ARE THE WORST BTW. like, okay, remember in the show when alec and izzy’s parents first showed up and their mom was like that and you were like um, yIKES???? yeah, vander’s mom is like that except 100000000000000000000% worse. his dad is very strict and cold and far from vander’s favorite person buT HIS MOM IS ONE FUCKING PIECE OF WORK OK

which we’ll get into momentarily!

so, vander’s story is that he’s an only child, born in idris to the extremely wealthy, extremely respected and extremely well - known sanghavi family. both of his parents are super high - ranking council members and basically when i think of what they do i think of this scene from sherlock i’m a nerd okAY DRAG ME where mycroft is like “i occupy a small position within the british government” and sherlock scoffs and says “plEASE HE IS THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT” which is basically what i imagine his parents are like with their jobs in the clave aka they pretty much are the clave which i imagine is pretty common knowledge among shadowhunters and probably earns the family name a lot of respect but also hatred because all of their power and influence that goes wrong within the clave and all of their bias and shady business is, for the most part, completely their fault.

anyway, when vander was born his parents were a little older than the typical age at which shadowhunters tend to begin having kids and that’s because they’d been trying for a while before vander finally came along and he was basically their miracle child :')

lived in idris and spent the majority of his life there, specifically on the family estate property. even for a shadowhunter he had an extremely sheltered upbringing ok like because of his parents and their job and their obsession with molding vander into the perfect child and perfect successor for their position on the council which is what they always saw him as first and foremost rather than y’know THEIR SON, he was pretty much never allowed to leave the family property except for major social events. literally he wasn’t allowed to leave, spent all day every day studying and training and his parents kept him so isolated from other children friendships and love is weakness yeah yeah whatever that his only friends growing up were his trainers and tutors and the housekeeping staff

basically if it wasn’t guaranteed to make him a better shadowhunter and train him properly to take over their position within the clave then vander’s parents absolutely forbid it.

he couldn’t even really sneak away bc wtf is there to do in idris???? and anyway, the family estate was monitored by guards at every angle 24/7 because the idea that someone would try to assassinate the whole family was always entirely too plausible

i pretty much think of vander of being raised like a royal child if ygm? like, everyone knows who he is but no one really knows him and he never really got to have friends or anything normal like that and his upbringing in general was extremely strict and isolated and sheltered and privileged.

the first time vander ever left idris was the age of seventeen when he fought tooth and nail to accompany his father on clave business. specifically, his father would be taking temporary control of the institute in india for a months ( which he was chosen for because it was one of many jobs he’d been good at whilst climbing the ranks back in the day ). vander begged and pled and begged to be taken along and while his mother in particular was not happy about it, his father finally agreed!

vander loved that trip so much that he whoops sorta sneaked out of the institute on the night before he and his father were supposed to go home, ran away and hasn’t looked back since

he’s spoken with his parents plenty of times since then though. they’re still furious with him for running away and they take every chance they’re given to remind him of that and ask him to come home and finish his studies buT vander absolutely refuses and is pretty sure that if he ever sees idris or that dumb enormous house ever again it’ll be way too fucking soon

anyway, he’s gotten lots of practical training in his travels. despite his family name and the way people often treat him because of it, vander seriously just works as a typical shadowhunter doing normal old demon killing assignments and stuff.

he’s an expert with twin seraph blades though and there’s a 1000000% chance he could wipe the floor with anyone when it comes to using those things

it was at the dublin institute that things actually got interesting though lmao. there, he met helena havenborn and holy shit he fell in love with her so hard and fast and to this day he absolutely loves her to pieces jsyk

they got together, got engaged and were the most obnoxiously in love pair you could ever possibly come across until that mission gone wrong wherein helena’s parabatai was killed and she got turned into a werecat

vander hasn’t seen her since before she left for that mission

she thinks that he listened to his family and dumped her because she was now a downworlder, he thinks she left him and literally neither of those things are true they are 100000% lies made up by vander’s parents and lbr probably also helena’s mom to keep them apart and to try and get vander to finally come home

spoiler alert: it didn’t work

vander is just so heartbroken and he has been ever since. due to his extremely isolated upbringing, he was never very close with anyone not even his parents and then helena came along and they were everything to each other she was everything to him and then she just left him and vander tries really hard to be understanding like he knows the situation was devastating all around but he can’t help these feelings of bitterness he now has for helena as he sorta feels abandoned by her 

EXCEPT SHE DIDN’T ABANDON HIM AND HE DIDN’T ABANDON HER HIS MOM IS JUST A MEDDLING TRIFLER SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THEM PLEASE

still loves her so so so so much regardless of what he thinks happened

left the dublin institute not long after that and went somewhere else and now he’s just coming to cali probably on assignment due to the theft. he’s here to lend an extra hand and has no idea that helena is here so :) :) :) :)

that...was so long i apologize but if you’ve gotten this far and wanna keep reading then we’re about to get into personality and stuff!

vander is basically a good beautiful angel who has never done a single thing wrong ever in his whole life

no ok i’m moSTLY KIDDING but vander is genuinely a good person. having essentially been forced to spend his entire childhood studying the accords and all other shadowhunter law, he’s extremely aware that shadowhunters and especially the clave are far from perfect and are in fact very flawed and very biased. he’ll point it out to anyone who’ll listen and is definitely into working towards a better and more peaceful future

he’s a rebellious free spirit, believes in standing up for your beliefs and always doing what’s right rather than what’s lawful

so yeah in case you wanted to guess he and his parents can’t stand each other

his biggest flaw is that he can be way too idealistic and often forgets how the real world actually works

also has a tendency to mope about helena but insist he’s fine when he’s very clearly Not Fine™

listen okay i cannot stress enough how much he still loves helena he loves her TO PIECES HE LOVES HER SO MUCH SHE IS ABSOLUTELY IT FOR HIM IF YOU ASK HIM LIKE I MEAN SHIT HE WAS GONNA MARRY HER???? HE STILL WANTS NOTHING MORE ANd i cannot stress enough how heartbroken he is right now in spite of pretending he’s fine

he’s bi though if anyone wanted to know lmao

playfully arrogant, especially when it comes to his expertise with those twin seraph blades i mentioned before

stands up for the little guy at every turn

major sweet tooth, especially when it comes to candy and anything chocolate

he is overall a genuinely good person: friendly, understanding, compassionate, extremely considerate, and capable. however, his idealism, stubbornly rebellious nature and default of being extremely emotional, passionate and intense can often be a hindrance, especially as a shadowhunter. surely they would keep him from being the good and effective leader that he could potentially be otherwise, but having spent basically his entire life observing just how much power can corrupt people he’s not particularly interested in being a leader anyway 

ALL HE WANTS IS TO MARRY THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND IDK MAYBE A BAG OF M&M’S BUT NAH HE’S JUST GONNA SUFFER

UPDATES!

vander is an A M A Z I N G artist. specifically drawing and painting. art was pretty much the only “frivolous~” hobby his parents allowed him to participate in as a child aside from the occasional piano lesson and vander always loved it. he’s an extremely talented artist and he’s pretty much always drawing / painting in what little free time he has. i have this hc that his runes are absolutely beautiful like they’re perfect and gorgeous and often admired though vander thinks he’s just sorta okay at art and sees it as just a fun little hobby tbh

and really that’s all it is to him. he’s not interested in dropping everything to become an artist nor has he ever been. he loves art but he loves being a shadowhunter too and for now it’s all he has.

vander knows literally nothing about mundane culture. dude can’t drive, can’t work most electronics, will not understand any pop culture references at all he’ll just stare blankly at you completely confused

also doesn’t understand social cues sometimes. he’s gotten better at it in recent years but he can sorta clueless and awkward sometimes due to experiencing basically no socialization during his entire childhood. vander is genuinely nice and always means well but sometimes he’s just...not great with people but it never deters him at all he learns, corrects himself and gets right back into things. he might occasionally need require further explanations and help understanding things sometimes but he’s a pretty quick learner

he could possibly have a parabatai though we would need to do a lot of plotting and there’s a good chance that vander and this parabatai are not on good terms at the moment. not 100% sure about this but feel free to message me if you’re interested anyway

the consul aka helena’s mother literally fucking HATES him personally

finally...that’S ALL FOR NOW. this is so long and if you read it all i don’t know hoW but please feel free to message me for plots!!!! either here or over at @mcrdices is probably best!!!! and as you know i’m down for anything and i’m really excited to write with you all as usual!

#❛ * ｡ ’ ⁝ i know i’m not your favorite record. 「 ooc. 」 #wilshire:ooc #no cute tags yet we're working on it but this is literally so long and probably an absolute disaster #message me if you wanna plot though #here meet a genuinely good person who is a total disaster

[miximax-hell]

Well, let’s do something special this time!

I haven’t introduced a new miximax with anything but reference sheets since the very birth of this blog. For those of you who weren’t there (aka none of you, quite literally), I got this blog going by reblogging old illustrations of Max’s and Kageno’s miximaxes, and I added some information about them to turn those old drawings into proper blog posts. I thought that, for a change, it might be interesting to do that again.

Sure, a lazy sketch is hardly as interesting as a full illustration, but full illustrations have never been popular in this blog, anyway, so it hardly even matters at this point. One of the perks of being unpopular is that no one really cares, so you can do whatever you want! Hah!

But let’s move on. Today, I am truly glad to introduce you all to Tetsukado’s miximax--or an early concept of it, at least. Here’s my answer for those of you who were mad because Tsunami wasn’t part of this project (and if you didn’t know about that, you should check this link--or the “Characters” link on the sidebar).

The final design will come soon enough too. But, for those of you who want more information about TetsuTsuna, feel free to continue reading. uvu

Today, I would like to talk about why I chose Tetsukado to take Tsunami’s powers. To be completely honest, it was a very long process and is probably the most interesting thing about this miximax, although it’s also one of those things only 1-2 people care about. I’d rather talk about it now, along with this early sketch that no one will care about either, than along with the final design, which tends to get a tiny bit more love. I only hope that those of you who do stop by to read this will be satisfied...! If you aren’t, though, by all means, let me know what else you’d like me to talk about.

Enough babbling. Let’s get started.

As I mentioned long ago and a couple of times, while this project is mostly based on crossovers, I do want a fair amount of Inazuma-only miximaxes. Ideally, I want one Inazuma-only miximax for every Inazuma Eleven game released--that is, 15. Right now, and counting TetsuTsuna, I have 6, plus another 7 ideas yet to explore. It’s very difficult to choose characters from this franchise to bring back as auras, but I knew from the very beginning that Tsunami (and Tyranno) had to be part of this. So, in their case, it was mostly a matter of finding the right person to inherit their massive and super cool power.

Now, Tsunami is a very interesting case. He is a defender, but he is a defender whose main perk or distinctive trait was that his ability to shoot was rather remarkable. In fact, despite being a defender, the anime never showed him using anything but shot hissatsus. Even in the games, the main story only ever gave him shots. We can’t ignore he was superb at shooting, but we can’t ignore that he was a defender either. I wouldn’t be doing my work properly if I ignored either of those things, and, even if my art is subpar to say the least, I pride myself in my concepts, okay. ww

I had many candidates to take his aura. My first thought was to give it to any defender from Inazuma Japan, because, well, the team is losing a player, so it’d be rather cool to get Tsunami back through a miximax. But... none really seemed fitting to me. For reasons I will explain some other time, Kabeyama would never be a good candidate. The closest candidate was Tobitaka, since his kicks are strong and both characters are linked through their character songs, but Tobitaka has enough with his own crazy hairdo the connection still seemed quite feeble.

I eventually realised that the best candidate within Inazuma Japan was Hijikata: they are seen together often, are arguably the oldest members of the team, they both come from Okinawa, I’ve always thought that Hijikata has a sea theme going on too, and, well, they’re a nice match in general.

But Hijikata has two problems.

He’s not a defender, and Tsunami’s aura would therefore not benefit him as much as it should. Yes, I’m picky.

He can’t take Tsunami’s aura for the exact same reason as Kabeyama. You smart kids can probably guess why by now, but I won’t reveal it publicly juuust yet.

Those problems, while seemingly minor, really get in the way of the miximax. So, instead of trying to push a wrong aura onto someone, I decided to look elsewhere for a combination that would really suit my tastes. ...Tough as it may be.

After a quick look, I realised no Raimon player suited my tastes either. Which, honestly, I was glad to see. I wanted him in Inazuma Japan if I was going to keep him in the first trilogy.

...And that’s when I took the first real step towards enlightment. Why keep him in the first trilogy when Tsunami had already shone plenty there? Giving love to his adult self, who had NO RELEVANCE WHATSOEVER in Go and barely appeared at all, was faaar more interesting. Why limit ourselves with the power of a kid when we can have the power of an adult? A power that, by the way, had yet to be explored, because all he did in InaDan was shoot once.

So, as much as I was fond of Tsunami making a grand return to Inazuma Japan, I eventually ditched that idea. And it wasn’t easy, because I hate ditching good ideas. ...Or ideas in general.

I started looking for alternatives. The first person who came to my mind was Hamano, because I looove Hamano and he deserves huge amounts of love. Thank @raishiteru for my bias. But... well, Tsunami and Hamano are complete opposites, and not in a good way. While I love contrast, it didn’t feel right to change Hamano from a laidback cutie to some... ADHD guy all of a sudden. It’s a change that doesn’t really help Hamano. And, once I realised that, I also realised that Hamano is a midfielder. If Hijikata lost points for that, so should Hamano. Let’s be fair here.

Once Kai-Kai stopped being an option, I looked at Go Raimon’s defenders. Kurumada, Amagi, Kariya, Kirino, Shinsuke... Meh. I love Kurumada and Amagi, but, well, I don’t see how they’d benefit from Tsunami, and they didn’t fit together either. Considering Tsunami is an Inazuma character, why’d you settle for some half-assed miximax when there are infinite universes out there waiting for you to find your perfect partner? It’s such a waste, both for Tsunami and for the vessel. Tsunami deserves to share his power with someone who will think, “It’s Tsunami or no one else.”

Still, not finding a right candidate in Go got me quite down. I really wanted Tsunami in, and I was afraid I’d have to go for something half-assed or something I was simply not personally content with. I will admit that, despite how much I love it, I didn’t remember Galaxy existed until a long time after I started thinking. But, as soon as I did, everything clicked extremely well.

Galaxy, the ignored season, has Tetsukado in it, and Tetsukado is the absolute perfect choice.

Tetsukado is a defender, like Tsunami. Tetsukado is hot-headed, like Tsunami--although what that hot-headedness causes is completely different and that’s really interesting to look into. Tetsukado is closely related to the sea, like Tsunami, because he wanted money to buy a boat for his dad. Tetsukado is very muscular and strong, which makes him excel at something defenders don’t usually do: shoot--which, again, is Tsunami’s specialty. Tetsukado gets a shoot hissatsu that he uses strategically from his position as a defender, like Tsunami. And, heck, both Tsunami and Tetsukado are newbies when they are first introduced to us. If we’re just looking at them, they truly are a match made in heaven.

But what if we don’t just look at them? Because this is what bothered me the most.

Again, not having Tsunami in InaJapan irked me, but I’ve set this whole project with a simple idea in mind: teams don’t each go in one direction. They move together towards one goal, and players can move around, mix and have different partners. This is why groups aren’t necessarily made of people from the same team. So, even if Tetsukado is an Earth Eleven player, he could very well mingle and play with InaJapan members. In fact, doing that could lead to some very interesting situations, like some InaJapan members being happy about having Tsunami back and treating Tetsukado, to an extent, as little more than a vessel that holds Tsunami’s power instead of acknowledging Tetsukado’s own power and own self. Hmm hmm, nice stuff there.

But, for those times when Earth Eleven is the one who needs to battle alone, can Tetsukado really make the most out of Tsunami’s power if it comes to that? And the answer is yes, he sure can. Those of you who know what I was getting at before will probably understand what I mean, but the rest of you will have to wait until I decide to explain TetsuTsuna’s powers thoroughly to understand why Earth Eleven can let TetsuTsuna run wild. Trust me--it’s cool.

And last, but not least, a question beyond objectivity. Let’s remember for a second that this is not Chrono Stone. Jii-chan isn’t here with his notebook to go around choosing auras and assigning them to whomever he finds fitting. Here, everyone can decide their destiny. Gouenji chose Yuuichi. Endou chose Yagami and Jii-chan himself. Fudou chose Layton, Kurama chose Tyranno and Rika chose Bayonetta. The vessel has full control over their aura. So, Tetsukado should have a reason to want Tsunami.

Beyond the objective fact that they are really similar in many senses, I think Tetsukado would be very okay with receiving the aura of a legendary player who is so similar to him and whom he shares so much with. But, in this case, I think Tsunami would actually suggest it, because Tetsukado is hot-headed in a way that’d probably make him embarrassed to ask for anyone’s aura. But look at Tsunami. All of his friends are fighting (as kids), but he can’t because he was born one year too soon and his young self really can’t take part in that. Tsunami, both young and adult, would feel very, very pissed and frustrated. He would like to be part of the battle, lend a hand, be useful somehow. And he’d probably be on the lookout for someone to take his power as soon as he heard that the whole miximax stuff was a thing.

So not only is this match perfect, but it has the special touch of being the one match where the aura proposes and starves for as much as the vessel. ...You know, other than Handa’s. But Handa’s is a tad different, as you may remember.

Also, much like Handa is my favourite original Raimon player, Tetsukado is my favourite Earth Eleven player. By far, in both cases. ...I see a trend here.

#Tetsukado Shin #Earth Eleven #Inazuma Eleven #sketch #miximax #info #mixi max #reasons behind the miximax