#first season out of college

[ghostofasecretary]

weird day. Monday. 12.5.22. yes.

stuff i did today!

- wore an outfit from the List Of Outfits That Would Be Cool i made yesterday

- lost phone. went on a stupid quest to get phone again and got rewarded with an outfit compliment and my phone. am v glad i have phone

- [work bs static noises]

- made list of possible gifts to get work gift exchange person

- got news of my grandma's dx. not great!

- cooked dinner and my dad and i enjoyed it

- on Saturday i told my stylist my part was in a different place than it actually is (fatal error) so to fix it a little i cut some of my hair with kitchen shears (a centimeter too short) but also did not cut enough of it (fix later)

- called friends and played cards and vibed, that was great

- bought new glasses because apparently i need new glasses every like 4-6 months now

- was too Exhausted to call other people or send the texts i was meaning to send (sorry frondos) (maybe i can fix one of these problems later)

- watched the new episode of Bleach! really enjoying TYBW so far even though i do not remember enjoying reading the manga that much

- hugged my parents

- watered my plants

that's a nice list of things. or, y'know, there are at least two terrible things on it but i mostly did stuff!

i'm in that, like, "everything is horrible because One Big Thing is horrible but also there are other awful things in the background too" spot where any small thing is devastating? like i almost cried about losing my phone this morning and i was SO mad about it and then about all the other bullshit. and then the news was just--haha ok. ok. well. gonna uhhh kneel with my head on my bed like a Victorian protagonist, i guess! feeling overwhelmed and lifeless!

i want the things in my life to stop being in my life. and to welcome other better things into my life. and to have a fucking break.

the current level of anxiety and bad shit is horrid but it's not going to immediately kill me or fuck up my work life. i want better things for myself than this, but my current goal is to make it to February, see if sticking around was worth it and if not screech a lot, and then either way jump shit to a hopefully better situation. and also i'll keep an eye out for nicer ships that i might be able to jump to for, like, January. i can make it till the holidays. i can make it through December.

oh jesus fuck i'm getting hives on my feet now??? rude

anyways. um. i can also quit at any time and take a holiday because of the lifestyle choices i'm making and the privileges i have, so that's an option to remember. it would not be easy or long-term smart but it is a real option if i need to snap. and maybe the more pressing of the two bullshit issues will resolve soon and i will be less stressed and have a little more time for living and soul-nourishing study and stuff like that. we'll see. did i mention today was weird? today was weird. but hey, i did it! go me

there isn't really a nice conclusion to this ramble i just need to get my thoughts down somewhere and public felt better than private for whatever reason, so, here you go

#done log #timekeeping #first season out of college #ghost speaks #cancer cw #tired #tired tired tired

[ibetittering]

Never thought I'd edit Sarge to Mitski but here we are

#I added at least one clip from each season he's in #I know I'm a genius #Anyways no lore drop today #actually wait no never mind shits been going ON #First our fire alarms kept going off so my mom literally REMOVED them from the ceiling so we have no fire alarms now #Then my brother flunked out of college and probably can't get back in #So sucks for him 😛 #he might also have to get his big toes cut off since he stubbed them and they got infected #bro has so many issues #anyways #red vs blue #rvb #rooster teeth #rvb19 #rvb19 spoilers #rvb sarge #edit #edits #rvb restoration

[infantisimo]

#reminded me of a lecture in college on 19th century victorian literature. mill on the floss i think. the professor spoke of how #agrarian society was in tune with temporal cycle of nature. seasons religious days tides etc. with the first industrial revolution saw a #dramatic shift in the human experience of time with clocks and timekeeping mostly for the time labourers spent toiling in factories #mentioned how time was now 'spent' rather than 'passed'; leisure was taken completely out of daily life. things became task-oriented which #kept on increasing. the factories would tamper with the clock to keep increasing the time labourers worked on the floor. #you can't tamper with the sun and moon now can you? #anyway this also brings to mind the demand for separate timezones in india #also brings to mind the concept of timesheets and how freelancers charge by the hour. #also brings to mind max weber's protestant ethic and the spirit of capitalism for some reason #i side with the luddites

[comradejoanmir]

Liberty buying MotoGP, we are gonna lose the Indian GP and all the sluts.........

Girl no they'll just put it in fucking. Gift city kill me I can't deal with an f1 track here let alone motogp

#buddh starting prices are 800 rn it'll be 8000 once liberty gets here.... #doxxing myself yes idc this is serious enough i don't wanna see a street circuit 10 kms from college 😭 #u know what we'll lose first? jiocinema and eurosport/sports18 #f1tv for all like naur.... leave this sport out of this... #but yeah f1 fampusly doesn't get along well with india lol we'll only have her this season 😔

[demadogs]

tell me your favorite show of all time thats not stranger things

#mines cable girls and dark #and defending jacob but thats a mini series #ive always said dark was my all time fav show but i just rewatched cable girls and i wanna put her in first place #i need to rewatch dark #i loved elite but i stopped watching after s3 bc it seemed like that was the end of the show and then they whipped out like 3 more seasons #but s3 ended so perfectly they finished the story and half of them left for college why did they continue #but those three seasons were so good #most my favorite shows arent english #byler #stranger things

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i think originally they planned to make jerry a college student who impregnanted a seventeen-year-old beth until they realized that would make him basically unredeemable in the eyes of the audience

#random thoughts #guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time #okay so basically the general consensis now is that jerry is one year older than beth but i CANNOT find a source on that #and in interdimensional cable 2 rick speculates on jerry's age being around 39 #and in michael chrickton's world (a comic which came out during season 2 which is when interdimensional cable 2 came out) #a '40-year-old morty' looks exactly like jerry #so i think they originally planned to make jerry like. 23? when he impregnated beth when she was 17 #which DOES roll with his character honestly #yknow until they established they were both in high school in season 6 #and even in s3 e10 when jerry's talking about their first kiss he says 'senior year' which is JUST ambiguous enough #to be when beth was a high school senior and he was a college senior #anyway this would make rick's hatred of him like. actually justified. and make beth and jerry's relationship more complicated #and summer and jerry's relationship too

[mishkakagehishka]

Huge things happen in my life when Valk events drop i've noticed

#walking to college head full of valk #i was thinking ab acanthe specifically and how i can say #oh it's been 2 years since acanthe it's also been 2 years since the soviet missile fell in Zagreb #it's been a year since meikyuu kairo denshi it's been a year since i nearly died during my first finals season #specifically a year since i got yelled at via email by that one prof </3 #it's been half a year since le temps des fleurs it's been half a year since i got asked out by the guy i've been whining ab all summer #the way it's going i'll be stepping out during my wedding celebration to grind a Mika centre

[figs-oliomedley]

Bad bitches who caught The Preeminent lacking

I really like how this one turned out! Want to work on my coloring a bit, but I really love the linework and proportions in this one

And check it out, bigger hands! Eh?? Ehhhh??? :D

#speaking of hands mine is toast #instead of resting my thumb I worked on this #I cut through like 300 cards for a college assignment and I'm still not done #I've got a week to finish it but I'm still so screwed #anyways I really wish these two would hang out in non-lethal situations #can't believe the first time the girls hung out was Season 15 and I can't believe it was llike THAT #nya smith #pixal borg #the tags just recommended pixal x nya #didn't know that was a thing #ninjago fanart #ninjago

[little-paper-man]

FINALS ARE DONE! \〒▽〒/

time to crash for a week until my poor poor braincells recuperate

#I had Physics and Sedimentology/Stratigraphy #and i was sick on and off all semester which is not a good combo #all i wanna do is fucking everything #next 2 chapters of tmbm #new fic series with No Man's Sky #Finish my latest journey plush #draw holy fuck do i wanna DRAW #pick up The Long Dark again and maybe finally FINALLY get the DLC college made me too broke to afford it #YUGIOH SHIT I rewatched season 0 and accidentally got my daughter hooked and i got my old cards out and I hope we can get around to deck #building soon #found my first yugioh card too :> Skull Redbird my beloved #A Wolvlocke on Wolvden #THERE'S SO MUCH I WANNA DO #hello void i have words

[comradecowplant]

Holy cow Gen V is like The Boys if The Boys was a show that had main characters whose motivations/stakes/development are actually interesting??!?

#the college setting lends itself to the raunchy over-the-top tone of the boys universe much better imo #and when these characters make short sighted emotional and/or inappropriate choices its far less infuriating #a lot of my gripes with the boys is with several long term character arcs so we cant fully compare yet obvs #im not getting into my the boys rant... its very love-hate #on one hand its the best superhero franchise out there w/ its worldbuilding and take on corporate superheroism #on the other hand hughie is the worst character im meant to root for that ive ever encountered & billy's shtick has gotten super old #so im really into this show set in the same interesting universe but without the characters for whom i cannot b asked to be invested in #although i had rose colored glasses during the first season of the boys too so theres plenty of time for gen v to get dumb #am i being biased because I'm very 👀😍🤪 over Jordan? yes yes i am but its also a bias that bends towards objective truth ☝️ #dani talks about tv

[dbphantom]

maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open #i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed #AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA #i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE #I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table #yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching] #okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante #to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1 #despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat #(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of #it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc #[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest]) #so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic #since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh. #it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them #its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not. #BUT #later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag #and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN' #and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)' #and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D #it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in #any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other #also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move #because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc #well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg) #im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c #(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters! #i love u H2O #cruddy rambles

[sadhorsegirl]

#finally got three days off from work in a row and am happy to announce ill be making a return to my true passion -- moiraine posting ! #directors cut commentary in the tags obvi lol #first off if there was any god in this world the fiona apple cover of whole of the moon would be on spotify #second need it on the official record that i am intentionally misinterpreting jig of life for the purposes of this playlist!! #i know on the album its part of a series of story songs abt a woman drowning and her future self going girl u have to swim or u wont have #your future family!!! #but. what if i made it about an alternate version of moiraine being like u are never going to be able to fully escape the heterosexual #horror saw trap of ur upbringing that haunts her upon return to cairhien...is this clicking with anyone else out there.... #had to throw on heat lightning and unravel for a spot of (possibly uplifting ?) romance #and also bc the tumblr user previously known as loamvessel is so right and true for saying heat lightning is a siuraine/moiraine song #anywayyy this is a playlist abt moiraine suffering returning to her home town after graduating from college and failing to kill the devil #and all the weird feelings she must have about cairhien and her place in the pattern/more self reflection on her younger years #in the aftermath of season one #with little hints about how her dynamic might be shifting with siuan as she self isolates #enjoy lol love making playlists happy summer cant wait till september etc etc #moiraine damodred #wheel of time #wot on prime #playlist

[tuiyla]

So apart from seeing Leighton in more in calc, killing it with her maths genius, the thing I most want from her in season 2 is an exploration of what it means to leave her “old’ life behind. We saw in season 1 how terrified she was of things changing if she came out; she knew perfectly well how her life would inevitably change if people knew the truth. With the encouragement of Kimberly and eventually her other friends, she’s now out on campus and living her best hoe life, but as sudden as that change of pace felt I don’t mind it precisely because I think she’s still very much in the process of fully accepting the way things are going to be different. At least I hope the season is going where I think it is.

Case in point: she’s not yet out to her family. We know from the conversation she has with her dad in the car that she didn’t tell them over Thanksgiving and she shows no intention of leaving this campus bubble she’s created. Leighton being out on campus is a great step but anyone who’s had to come out about some aspect of their identity knows that coming out isn’t a single step. It’s a process you don’t ever really stop doing and now with Leighton’s life being divided into two, college and back home with her family, she’s in the “halfway there” stage in terms of telling the most important people. But she’s not showing any signs of wanting to tell her family.

To be clear, I don’t fault Leighton at all here. She’s very freshly out to her friends and the campus itself and is just enjoying not having to hide and fuck suburban moms in secret. But I think it’s interesting to think of what direction Leighton and her relationship with the Murrays might be leading into, particularly now that she’s successfully made it into Kappa. That’s right, I’ve been leading up to the sorority question all along. I believe Kappa will play a major part in Leighton facing her remaining demons and coming out to her family. I come to this conclusion because Kappa so far has been emblematic of Leighton’s aspirations and the perfect New England family the Murrays have envisioned. We saw early on in season 1 how intense Leighton was about rushing Kappa but here in season 2 we find out that her mom was a Kappa, too. And, in light of Nico’s expulsion and the subsequent dent in the great Essex Murray family dream, Leighton is even more hell bent on making it to Kappa, explicitly because it will please her mom. Though she’d expressed interest in Kappa long before this, I’m taking the liberty to infer it’s always been about her mom and more generally the Murray family’s ideals.

We’ve only seen the whole Murray family interact briefly in the Parents’ Weekend episode, and within that the brief but all the more impactful one-on-one scene between Leighton and her mother. In that scene, a lot is implied about Mrs. Murray and their relationship, too much to really dive into in this post. What’s important is that we see Leighton joke about her mother’s “quirks” and take it back immediately, and in turn her mother comparing the two of them with the sort of contempt reserved for rich housewives of dysfunctional families and their only daughters. Come season 2 and Leighton has her mother in her phone as “The Babadook” and yet admits that the rush means so much to her because it’s a way to appease the Babadook herself. And, like I said, a way to play into the Murray family ideal.

Going back to the point of this post which is Leighton’s coming out, I think this now explicit connection between making it into Kappa and trying to live up to Murry family expectations doesn’t bode well for Leighton. I say that because both episodes, in season 1 and now in season 2 that dealt with her intensity about Kappa have shown Leighton turn into a worse version of herself. In this latest episode it was of course her being a total bitch to Natalie; more generally to everyone she’s hooked up with recently because she failed to inform them about her chlamydia, but Natalie especially. So concerned with Kappa and a successful rush, Leighton completely disregarded Natalie as not only a past partner but as a person. And though the public shaming that came her way was probably enough of a comeuppance for Leighton, she still ultimately gets Kappa. After all, isn’t that what she was so preoccupied with even at the KissMass party? Not so much the public shaming of it all or even that her sexual encounters with women are now public knowledge, but how it affected her chances at Kappa specifically.

I did find that curious, that lack of concern with the lesbianism of it all. Not because I think we need Leighton to still be cautious about her queerness on campus and at Kappa, but because season 1′s sorority episode also saw her lose sight of everything else in favour of this ultimate Kappa goal. I’m of course talking about the fact that, because of the conversation(s) she had at Kappa, Leighton gave in to comphet and went on that date with Cory, even having sex with him despite herself. A true low point for her in season 1, now here she is in season 2, now out to the campus but still giving into the sorority dream and giving her own best self up in the process. Sure, Leighton is more so her authentic self now but we’ve seen how the promise of Kappa compromises her character. The influence that Kappa and Quinn have had on her so far is decidedly bad - maybe inadvertently so but by playing into archaic notions that the very essence of Greek life is built on, also inevitably so. Side note: the Kappa head bitch is called Quinn, really? Driving me mad on purpose.

All this to say, now that Leighton is a Kappa and she can tell her family and make them happy in the process, I think it will only lead to her having to confront the very issue she was sobbing to Kimberly about at the end of last season. Kappa is the representation of the Murray’s perfect Essex family ideal, incredibly fragile after Nico’s fall from grace. It’s the representation of the life Leighton always thought she’d have, the one she should have and the one she not so long ago in season 1 thought she could only get by playing into heteronormativity and repressing her true self. Leighton’s still very much terrified of things changing, just like she told Kimberly, and she’ll be realizing that soon enough. There’s no way she can have her Kappa life and present this straight front to her parents while also now having a taste of what being out feels like. I simply don’t believe that after that low point in season 1 being so closely tied with Kappa, that after emphasizing her mother’s connection with the sorority so much and after seeing what it all brings out Leighton, after all this Kappa won’t play a role in Leighton eventually coming out to her family.

This is all speculation at this point but I think Leighton is bound to make a few more mistakes as a result of her devotion to Kappa before she sees this house of cards crumble and is forced to realize that all this is part of the life she doesn’t want to have anymore. I definitely think it will take time before she’s ready to be out to her family and therefore rid of the expectations the Murrays may want but she doesn’t, but I think it will come eventually. The arc I see for her right now is doing the Kappa thing, going too far, getting called out by her roommates, having a mini-crisis about what it is she really wants and realizing that it’s not Kappa. It’s not what her parents expect of her and it’s not the life she was once so terrified of losing by being different. Nico being gone from Essex adds extra pressure on her to make her parents happy but that will just make this story all the more interesting. And I realize that there’s only so much the remaining six episodes can do, especially with all the three other main girls having their own things going on. Kimberly with her financial problems and looking for solutions, Bela with The Foxy, and Whitney on her self-discovery journey both in terms of academics and relationships. In this sense, I think the season so far has given Leighton the loosest storyline so far, but because of everything I’ve written in this post I believe that will focus on the Kappa journey and an eventual coming out to her family. Building on what these four episodes have established and this last one in particular is the only way to give Leighton a tight storyline this season.

In my opinion, anyway. But I’m just a very recent fan who spends too much time thinking about fictional lesbians and not a TV writer, so who knows. I just had this thought of Kappa being the key, first in a negative then positive way after rewatching the latest episode and remembering the sorority’s role in Leighton’s season 1 arc. Now that the show has looped it back to Mrs. Murray and rushing being something Leighton does for external validation reasons, I just can’t see it going well and can’t see it not tying into her ongoing coming out process.

#i write leighton meta now #this goes out to all my tslocg girlies #the parallels to queen bee quinn are of course bountiful #but for once i don't hijack things with glee #leighton murray #tslocg #sex lives of college girls #kinda don't wanna tag as meta but maybe i should? #my thoughts #tslocg meta #i didn't articulate my poitn well but just picture the it's all connected meme #with my whiteboard being 2x04 the first season kappa ep and parents' weekend

[godhasforsnakenme]

f1: what do you normally do when I'm gone?

me: wait for you to get back 🥹😭

#dania rambles about shit #f1 #this applies to everything when the seasons are over or my favs are out the playoffs #pretty sure someones done this already but #I'm gonna miss getting up early af on sundays just to watch the races 😭😭😭 #first time in a while that I was able to tune into all the races for the year #hadn't since my first year in college omfg #everything til now had been wither highlight or loading up the replay #shout out to the hs year when I'd set up the dvr because sometimes I couldn't jusitfy being up so early lol #always managed the ones that are local time just not the others tho so this year was great being able to stick to the schedule #anyway weekly chestappen content I'll see you next year omfg

[rooolt]

I cannot describe the feeling that went through my body when i saw jimmy wong, beth may, and freddie wong on that um actually couch, but it sure was an autistic one

#Also I’m pretty sure Anthony showed up later in the trailer but like I don’t know his face super well but like pretty sure it was him #But he’ll just be in a different episode #I’d also say shout out to caldwell for evoking the same thing but that one was less of a shock bc he used to work for college humor #Anyways here’s how dndads dimension 20 season can still win #Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaassssse #dndads #dungeons and daddies #I’m actually #fuck I’m gonna be on vacation when the first episode drops

[heycoyotegirl]

love how the message of season 4 was that you have to have extremely good grades and have gone to parties to be able to successfully adjust to university

#nhie s4 spoilers #nhie s4 #nhie #never have i ever #nhie critical #if you had mediocre grades or were too uptight might as well not even bother going since you're apparently fucked #like. devi ben and fab all got into an ivy and seemed to be enjoying university and doing well right away #meanwhile we have eleanor who gets 1 rejection and gives up on furthering her education entirely (why didn't she think about film school??) #and paxton who worked So Hard to get into college only to immediately drop out just because his roommate was shitty #& blair who was an excellent student but partied too hard and failed out and tried to keep it a secret because it was 'kind of humiliating' #like. blair mentioned that she was burnt out but then it was almost immediately reframed as her having been 'too perfect' in high school #the only character who never planned to go to college was trent who was so bad at school he had to repeat his senior year #why weren't there any students who had done well at high school yet struggled academically even though they were genuinely trying? #or students who hadn't done super well in high school but then thrived in university when they had more freedom to choose their classes #where were the top students who didn't get into their first choice school? or knew that they didn't want to go to college at all? #obviously the show couldn't cover every possible permutation of how people decide whether to go to college and then how they adjust to it #but it's uhhh not great that the 3 'smartest' main characters were admitted into ivies and immediately thrived at university #while the 3 who struggled with school or prioritized non-academic interests either didn't try to go to college or gave up extremely fast #the show has always had moments where characters will be elitist but it seemed much more prominent & tied into the narrative this season #my post #my meta #tag ramble