#for postal crimes

[pratchettquotes]

There is a saying, "You can't fool an honest man," which is much quoted by people who make a profitable living by fooling honest men. Moist never tried it, knowingly anyway. If you did fool an honest man, he tended to complain to the local Watch, and these days they were harder to buy off. Fooling dishonest men was a lot safer and, somehow, more sporting. And, of course, there were so many more of them. You hardly had to aim.

Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

#moist von lipwig #going postal #discworld #terry pratchett #con man #crime #honest #an honest man #dishonesty #human nature #psychology #fool me once #low risk #more sporting #you hardly had to aim

[awkwardtuatara]

Thinking about how Moist's scams and cons are rooted in a cynical belief that those bastards would try to trick me if they could as well. That's his justification for his actions, other than just because he finds it thrilling. And he sees what he does as ultimately harmless - he doesn't kill or maim, slips in and out of lives without a trace - so he doesn't recognize that his actions have meaning until Mr Pump hits him with 2.338 statistical deaths, and doesn't accept it until he finds out Adora Belle was hurt by his scam.

He's wounded so many people. Sure there are the people he believes everyone to be, the ones he relies upon for his scams to work, who try to take advantage of him and are cheated in turn. But there are also desperate people, people who weren't directly involved like Adora Belle, maybe even people who against all odds still tried to be kind to a stranger and were punished for it. And he just isn't capable of realizing that maybe people are real for longer than he sees them for, that they have lives to live and worldviews that can be shredded with too many hurts. He can't accept that people are capable of more than cynical pragmatism, of don't hurt others because they might hurt me.

But all throughout Going Postal, that idea of his is disproven again and again. There's Stanley and Mr Groat, who eke out a little coexistence despite being forgotten, and the elderly postmasters who join him just because they loved their job; there's Adora Belle Dearheart, who was wounded and cheated in life from so many sides and still used that resentment to help marginalized people. Although his own perspective focuses more on who he is rather than a new understanding of who he was, and he rarely reflects on just how much his worldview changes from beginning to end (except when confronted by Adora Belle), he still goes from doing selfish things for selfish reasons to doing things that benefit everyone, especially those he cares about, for selfish reasons. He can still enjoy the exhilarating game of creating new personas and pushing his luck while believing a bit more that humans can be genuinely earnest people as well. And as he approaches that truth, he becomes invested in his life as well, because now he has to stick with it.

Going Postal's about redemption in many ways - the idea that atonement doesn't lie in fixing every mistake you've made, but in moving on and trying to prevent making them again, in recognizing your own crimes being done by others and working against them.

Isn't that at least a little hopeful? That, ultimately, the world isn't so cynical and bitter as you've based your entire life on? That it isn't so difficult to exist after all? It's a lot to take in, but so is any paradigm shift.

#I'm rambling - this is two different lines of thought stitched together #(his crimes against others being more serious than even the story recognizes #& his actions are rooted in cynicism that's disproved throughout the narrative) #what a guy #what a story #I love it so much #moist von lipwig #going postal #discworld #adora belle dearheart #gnu terry pratchett

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Oh, for a skeleton key…

Plus a digital mockup to simulate a red ink pass that i discovered could not be achieved well enough with the materials available to me, and the original pencils.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #fan art #ink drawing #inktober #(i guess eehehe) #i drew him for funsies and sent him on his merry way to lands unknown(the postal system) #i expressed my initial anxiety about drawing his face properly to a friend who rightfuly observed that his head IS yoshiko shaped #wonderful shape. 10/10. the jacket…. #was a labor and a half lol #worth it for the bestie though lol #i would draw him so he could look at his vain self #i wanna see if i can get that artist guy in game to paint him lol #i’m only in act two at the time of typing #still one of my fave interactions with him: #‘i dont want a freaking poem #just tell me i’m hot’ #astarion… buddy… look at me…. i’m a god damn bard how could you say these things to me? #my craft!! #Pointy bastard mean girl hungry boy crime time murder elf.

[moo-savr]

sorry rhe voices made me do it I swears

#I CANT THEIRE INFILTRATING MY BRAIN RN!!!!!! #dont question why they just have a place in my heart somewhere #MORALLY GREY YAOI #duke nukem #postal dude #i like to think they started of absolutely hating each other but then became idiotic friends and then slowly becoming partners in crime LOL #also the duke pupet and dude plushie I WAMT THEM #my shit #my art #killer sunglasses

[qwuilty]

i started trying to draw dude more sloppily to try and fight past perfectionism and then dicked around with goofy body shapes and. now im obsessed with him hes so silly. look at him right now

#postal 1 #postal dude #postal #hes so much just shoulders #this exists on the other side of the spectrum of me talking about the like in universe horrifying effects post postal #just admitting he committed a horrific crime yes. but hes also a little silly and fun :]

[bwabbitv3s]

Good Godfather Vlad AU

~I picture this as the timeline where Vlad goes to therapy after the disaster of the reunion where he sees his friends for the first time in ten years. He thinks it is going to be nothing but anger and hate towards Jack over how he ruined his life. Only for his friends he has not seen collage to ask him about why he never answered their letters they send him over the years.~

"What letters?" Vlad asks. His composure slipped a little at the unexpected revelation.

"Why all the ones we sent you while you were in the hospital. We were not allowed to visit as you were in intensive care which only allows family." Maddie tells Vlad.

"Yeah tried to get them to bend the rule but they would not budge. We attempted to break in three times that first week to visit you once you were stable." Jack says.

"The hospital banned us after that. Not the best decision we could have made but we just got stonewalled at every turn trying to find out how you were." Maddie says sadly.

"We sent you one everyday. You were in intensive care since we could not be there with you. Had to break into the dean's office to get your legal address so the redirection to the hospital would go through." Jack chatters away gesturing wildly. The punch nearly sloshed over in his cheap plastic cup.

Vlad feels like his stomach drops and the room is spinning. He remembers very little of the first week in the hospital. The crushing loneliness and pain as he came in and out the only clear memories. Never once does he remember any letters.

"I never received any letters." Vlad says softly.

"That can't be. We made sure to get them posted directly from the post office to ensure the address and postage was correct." Maddie answers then looks at Jack.

"Yeah we were worried that getting them sent to you in the hospital would be an issue and had the postal worker walk us through how to do it right." Jack says in a gentle voice.

How can it be that he never got any letters? Vlad would remember if he got one sign of his friends not abandoning him back then. He would never have refused to receive mail. Then like a slow motion train wreck he remembers an issue with the college.

"You got my address from the dean's office?" Vlad asks carefully. He hopes dearly that he had heard it wrong the first time.

"Picked the lock at midnight five days after you were hospitalized and broke into his records." Jack answers.

"Took a while to find your file as the filing cabinet was not alphabetized. Very unprofessional of him." Maddie says

"The Dean had my address wrong that year, seven was transcribed as one. It took weeks with the postal department's help to track down anything that was meant to be sent to me. The Undeliverable Mail Depot even had trouble finding anything that was meant to be sent to me." Vlad says in mounting dread. 

"You never got any of our letters?" Jack asks.

"We had been sending letters to a non existing address the entire time." Maddie gasps. She starts to step forwards as if to hug him.

"I think I need to leave." Vlad stutters out. He hastily shoves a business card into Maddie's reaching hands. All he can focus on is the high pitch ringing in his ears as something inside him feels like it breaks. 

"I need some time. You can use that to reach me later. I just can't right now." Vlad hastily says before Jack can stop him. 

Vlad holes up in his hotel room the rest of the night on the phone with the hospital he had stayed at after the accident. It takes little time for him to get the right person and just a tiny bribe to get them to check the mail room for any lost letters without having to be there in person. He waits on hold for an hour before the answer comes through. An entire bankers box full of letters was tucked away in the back with an incorrect mailing address and smudged name. He pays an exuberant amount to get it priority shipped to him. 

The next day he avoids everyone from the reunion. Using his powers to hide from the event planners and other graduates. His plans for revenge are dropped as a heavy package arrives at noon that day. With shaking hands he opens it and finds a years worth of faded letters sent to him after the accident. 

Tears smudge the one written the day his friends got banned from the hospital. A blurry photo of Jack being escorted off the grounds by security officers is tucked into that letter. A giant teddy bear in neon blue in his hands.

Vlad cancels the next weeks meetings with his company and gets the board to deal with things for a bit. He calls up the ghosts he had hired and tells them the job is off and gives them payment in recompensation for it. Lastly he books a meeting with a therapist.

Now with a Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

#danny phantom #good vlad au #Danny phantom Au #good godfather vlad #vlad gets therapy #vlad has an emotional breakdown in his hotel room #Jack and Maddie would do crime to make their friend feel better #letters get stuck in postal purgatory #I learned about the undeliverable mail depot for this #Vlad masters #Jack Fenton #Maddie Fenton #Danny fenton

[rebmeat]

pd4 appreciation meme

#postal #i love his stupid grey hair #postal 4 #postal dude 4 #be gay do crime #postal dude #postal meme #postal game #running with scissors #rws

[boomboxer]

i lov pee 3 😍😍😍😍😍😍

#postal #postal 3 #postal dude #rws #running with scissors #my art #sending him to jail for his crimes #i was watching jerma clips while i was drawing these

[onceuponatown]

During the 1920's, the United States Postal Service, and the mail, came under attack from enterprising criminals. In 1921, after several high profile robberies, President Warren G. Harding sent 2,200 Marines to guard mail delivery across the nation. The "Devil Dogs" were assigned to high priority certified mail, items such as cash and negotiable bonds. While the Marines were on guard, not one robbery was attempted. They withdrew in 1922. By 1926, the postal service was once again a prime target for robberies, which prompted President Coolidge to assign 2,500 Marines to guard duty across the nation. 

“When our Corps goes in as guards over the mail, that mail must be delivered,” wrote Secretary of the Navy Edwin Denby. “Or there must be a Marine dead at the post of duty. There can be no compromise.” It was the Golden Age of the Gangster, when bank robbers were folk heroes, cheered on by citizens who were suffering under the weight of Prohibition and the Great Depression. But when the mail started getting robbed by these hoods, the Postmaster General asked President Harding to send in the Marines.

In October 1921, gangsters hit a mail truck in New York City, making off with .4 million in cash, securities, and jewelry – million dollars when adjusted for inflation. That wasn’t the only high-stakes robbery. Between April 1920 and April 1921 alone, thieves stole more than six million dollars in U.S. mail robberies – million when adjusted for inflation. So when the Postmaster asked the President for the Marines, the Commander-In-Chief was happy to oblige.

Harding instructed Secretary of the Navy Edwin Denby to meet with Commandant of the Marine Corps Maj. Gen. John Lejeune to “detail as guards for the United States mails a sufficient number of officers and men of the United States Marine Corps to protect the mails from the depredations by robbers and bandits.”

Marines from both coasts were activated and armed with trench guns, M1911 pistols, and the M1903 Springfield rifle to stand watch as high-value mail deliveries were moved between institutions, large cities, banks, and government offices. They rode mail trucks and trains, often seated with the driver and in with the valuable cargo. The Navy Secretary told his new detachment of 50-plus Marines and officers:

“To the Men of the Mail Guard, you must when on guard duty, keep your weapons in hand and, if attacked, shoot and shoot to kill. If two Marines are covered by a robber, neither must put up his hands, but both must immediately go for their guns. One may die, but the other will get the robber, and the mail will get through. When our Corps goes in as guards over the mail, that mail must be delivered, or there must be a Marine dead at the post of duty. There can be no compromise.”

That was the spirit of the orders. The orders themselves were just as intense.

1. To prevent the theft or robbery of any United States mails entrusted to my protection.

2. To inform myself as to the persons who are authorized to handle the mails entrusted to my protection and to allow no unauthorized persons to handle such mails or to have access to such mails.

3. To inform myself as to the persons who are authorized to enter the compartment (railway coast, auto truck, wagon, mail room, etc.) where mails entrusted to my protection are placed, and to allow no unauthorized person to enter such compartment.

4. In connection with Special Order No. 3, to prevent unauthorized persons loitering in the vicinity of such compartment or taking any position from which they might enter such compartment by surprise or sudden movement.

5. To keep my rifle, shotgun, or pistol always in my hand (or hands) while on watch.

6. When necessary in order to carry out the foregoing orders, to make the most effective use of my weapons, shooting or otherwise killing or disabling any person engaged in the theft or robbery, or the attempted theft or robbery of the mails entrusted to my protection.

The FAQ section of the Mail Guards’ training manual tells you everything you need to know about how Marines would respond to this robbery problem, once the gangster tried to break in:

Q. Suppose he [the robber] is using a gun or making threats with a gun in trying to escape? A. Shoot him.

Q. Suppose the thief was apparently unarmed but was running away? A. Call halt twice at the top of your voice, and if he does not halt, fire one warning shot; and if he does not obey this, shoot to hit him.

Q. Is it permissible to take off my pistol while on duty; for instance, when in a mail car riding between stations? A. Never take off your pistol while on duty. Keep it loaded, locked, and cocked while on duty.

Q. Is there a general plan for meeting a robbery? A. Yes; start shooting and meet developments as they arise thereafter.

Q. If I hear the command ‘Hands Up,’ am I justified in obeying this order? A. No; fall to the ground and start shooting.

Q. Is it possible to make a successful mail robbery? A. Only over a dead Marine.

Robberies stopped entirely. For four months, the Marines guarded the U.S. Mail, and for four months, there were zero successful robberies. After a while, the Post Office was able to muster its own guard forces, and the Marines were withdrawn from mail duty. By 1926 robberies shot up again and the Marines were called back.The second time the Marines were withdrawn, people stopped trying to rob the U.S. mail.

Source

#us mail #u.s. mail #postal service #1920s #devil dogs #crime #usmc

[vroomian]

You know what hell probably doesn’t have? Mail carriers.

#vrrm vrrm #much to think about #does Yrz end up owning the postal service in hell??? #like idk how it is elsewhere but in the USA you Do Not Fuck With The Mail #the usps does not play around #tampering with mail is. I hoesntly think it’s the one crime most Americans agree on as Bad? #Hazbin au

[creativenicocorner]

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Stupid Kid [working title]

The shenanigans, scams, crimes, and misadventures of one Amazing Maurice and a young Überwaldian runaway known to us readers as Moist von Lipwig (armed with a speedily growing list of aliases).

___〆(・∀・) What will this conniving pair get up to next?

#Discworld #A Cat and his Average Looking Kid #Moist von Lipwig #The Amazing Maurice #GNU Terry Pratchett #Con artists #stealing #scams #Nico Writes #Nico Draws #Pre Going Postal #post The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents #Crime friends! #Crime duo #Uberwald #Überwald

[pratchettquotes]

People were strange like that. Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief. Steal thousands of dollars and you were either a government or a hero.

Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

#moist von lipwig #going postal #discworld #terry pratchett #people #human nature #psychology #crime #scale #proportion #government #hero #thief #petty theft #people are strange

[acryzzzz]

POSTAL og LOADING SCREENS

#postal #video games #underground #pc gaming keyboard #i regret nothing #violent crime #pc games #shooter #angry #i'm so fucking angry #edgy style #edgy shit

[todayisyourturntolose]

omg....i just got one of my postal posts liked by a true crime community tumblr acc.../neg

#they had a fucking ADAM LANZA profile picture like WHAT THE FUCK #actual jumpscare #i have no problem with true crime btw. it is one of my interests #but the true crime community on tumblr?? oh HELL NO #BACK 🤺 GET BACK I SAY ‼️ #postal

[abs0luteb4stard]

W A T C H I N G

#FALLING DOWN (1993) #MICHAEL DOUGLAS #ROBERT DUVALL #RACHEL TICOTIN #Barbara Hershey #Frederic Forrest #Tuesday Weld #Lois Smith #Michael Paul Chan #Raymond J. Barry #D.W. Moffett #Vondie Curtis-Hall #John Diehl #Jack Kehoe #crime drama #thriller film #Joel Schumacher #going postal #WATCHING

[cosmicbash]

I'm gonna 3d print Kells and chew him apart like a dog toy

#if he covered that fucking dali art work #i stg #i will go to cleveland MYSELF #thats a literal crime #and i have the biggest beef with his tatts because i draw them #this makes my job EASIER and ill still go postal #also i got a 3d printer for christmas so #i have the technology