Chapter 3: You His Pet or Somethin'?
The Knife Set
Leo was in a pickle. He hadn’t realized how big of a pickle yet though. Like, he thought it was maybe one of those cocktail sized ones you’d skewer onto a sandwich. As it turned out, he’d discovered pickles could get pretty big. Like, he was pretty sure Raph could fit in this one- this metaphorical pickle anyway. Not a literal pickle… are there any pickles in the fridge now? He was getting a little hungry now that he thought about it…
“So it was you?!” Mikey’s voice broke in surprise as he had just watched his older brother turn one of his kitchen knives into a mystic katana.
Leo froze. He had not seen the box turtle behind him. Turning his head just slightly, he could see his little brother in the doorway, his finger pointing accusingly right at him.
“You’re the one who keeps stealing my kitchen knives!”
“Stealing?” Leo asked, touching his finger to his lip. “I was just borrowing the one…”
“LIAR!” Mikey stormed into the kitchen and gestured to his knife block, where, of the dozen knives that had been there less than two weeks ago, there now remained only two.
“You keep using my knives to make more swords!”
Leo bit his lip.
“Look, it’s not my fault they keep breaking under the pressure-”
“You’ve broken them?! HOW?”
“I don’t know, I guess they just aren’t as strong as you’d think they’d be,” Leo shrugged, twirling the new katana into his scabbard.
“Kitchen knives are meant for chopping food, not hacking apart bad guys!” Mikey sobbed.
“Well what am I supposed to do then? I need my katanas!”
“Go ask Todd to make you another garden trowel, I don’t know! And get me a new set of knives!”
Leo sighed loudly. Asking for a new set of knives was fair, but it would be a huge pain. He was also having trouble getting a hold of Todd. Turns out his puppy park was going through some legal trouble about zoning requirements or something, his forge likely included. Maybe Leo could just buy himself a knife set too, but he was really tired of his swords cracking under the pressure.
“A garden trowel as a sword?” Leo and Mikey snapped their heads around to see Casey sitting at the breakfast bar, not even four feet away from them.
“How long have you been there?” Leo asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Long enough,” Casey shrugged. “But really, tell me how a garden trowel makes for a good sword.” His tone pitched up in questioning.
“I thought you knew everything about us,” Leo tipped his head. “We can make our weapons out of pretty much anything, as long as we have our ninpo.”
“Well yeah, I knew that, but wouldn’t an actual sword work better?” Casey asked, shoveling around his cereal with a spoon.
“I don’t suppose you have one lying around here somewhere?” Leo asked, lowering his head and jutting his chin out.
“Jus’ get Synth to make you one. Thas’ what you did in the fujure,” Casey said through a mouthful of cereal.
“Synth? Who’s that?”
Casey’s eyes widened as he took a bite of Frosted Flakes. (He’d been getting more adventurous with his food choices lately.) “You don’t know Synth? The greatest swordsman of all time?!”
“Ok I’m going to pretend you didn’t just rank me below anyone else in terms of swordsmanship and skip to the part where I say; nooooo?”
“Well you should, if my memory serves, he works for the Battle Nexus.”
“For Big Mama?” Mikey piped up. “Sounds like he’s probably up to no good.”
“He made… makes weapons for her champions,” Casey explained, fidgeting with his hands nervously. “As for Big Mama, I can’t say whether or not he’s a fan of hers. He’s not big on talking about himself. He did get along well enough with you though, Leo.”
“I can’t imagine he’s cheap,” Leo scoffed. “After that last Jupiter Jim premiere I’m broke!”
“You really should get a job, Leo,” Mikey gave him a side-eye, but Leo waved him off.
“I’m sure you can work something out with him,” Casey encouraged, smiling. “Sensei always had a way of brokering a deal.”
Leo was not at all surprised to hear he was still very much the face-man in the future. But at the same time, he still wasn't used to hearing someone talk about himself like he knew more about him than his own self. It felt tangential to the whole Hamato destiny stuff, like he just had to be what they told him to.
And while a part of him wanted to resist the idea based solely on contrarianism, Casey’s bowling ball eyes were just so damn reflective. Like, Leo thought his face might explode or something if he didn’t go along with it. So he took a step back and thought it over. What was the worst that could happen?
“All right, sure. I’m sure we can check out this Synth guy on our way back from like… wherever Mikey gets his kitchen utensils from,” Leo conceded, straightening up.
Casey froze.
“We?” He sputtered, only to frantically grasp at the bits of cereal he accidentally sputtered onto his chin.
“Yes, we, this is your idea isn’t it? You, me, and Mikey,”
“Why do I have to go? You’re doing this for me!” Mikey cut in.
“You know I’m not going to get the right set if you don’t come with us,” Leo pointed out.
Mikey made a 'I wish I could say otherwise but we all know better' face.
“Leo, I… you know why I can’t go up there…” Casey stumbled, shrinking into his chair. “It’s, it’s all so open…”
In a completely necessary gesture, Leo whipped out Mikey’s ex-kitchen knife and pointed it right down Casey’s nose.
“You can’t hide down here forever kid. If this means anything to you then you’re coming with me.”
“It doesn’t,” Casey shrugged. “It’s your sword.”
“Oh come on!” Leo collapsed over on himself. “You aren’t even a little bit invested in my path to becoming the greatest ninja of all time?”
Mikey popped up next to Casey and made him jump.
“What Leo is trying to say, is that he wants you to come with him because we’re family and we should spend more time outside together. And it’ll be fun!” Mikey starting doing a little dance up at that last bit, shaking invisible maracas.
Casey looked like he was starting to regret his own idea, but eventually nodded.
“Yeah! Team Baja Blast is headed out, baby!” Mikey jumped onto the bar table and pointed at the ceiling.
“Wait a minute, you’re broke!” Mikey pointed back down at Leo. Leo looked away.
“You were gonna make ME pay for the knives that YOU ruined!”
“I didn’t say anything of that nature,” Leo scoffed. “Casey, how much money do you have?”
Casey started to pull out his wallet but Mikey stopped him.
“Oh no no no NO!” Mikey scolded the slider. “You are not putting this on him!”
“Well how am I supposed to get you your knife set huh?”
Mikey squinted one eye and jabbed it into Leo’s plastron.
“Get. A. JOB!”
-
“You his pet or somethin’?”
“I don’t get it Casey, how am I supposed to be a ninja, a student, and have a job all at the same time?” Leo whined as they walked to the Grand Nexus Hotel. Without the money to pay for his lost knives, Mikey refused to join them. Leo would have to pay him back another time.
“How should I know? I have just as much experience as you here,” Casey raised his arms helplessly. But when Leo looked over to him he was smiling wickedly.
“What with that face?” Casey knew that look all too well.
“Do you think I could make money being a ninja?” Leo asked, tipping his head to one side.
“Like a mercenary???” Casey asked, concerned.
“I was thinking more like a bounty hunter,” Leo shrugged, crossing his hands behind his head.
“And who’s paying you? I can’t see you working with the police.”
“Oooooo now there’s an idea,” Leo spun around walking backwards. “Take money from bad guys for taking out bad guys.”
Casey tried to process what Leo was saying, but Leo kept going.
“Pops and Raph would hate that though,” he shrugged, dodging between people. “Honor and all that. Man, it blows that Pops is being more stingy with money lately.”
“Sorry,” Casey lowered his head. He knew that their allowances had spread out thinner now that Casey was living with them.
“Aw shit, no man, I didn’t mean it like that,” Leo corrected himself. He sighed. “Maybe Hueso will let me work for him. Surely he’s gotten over the unicorn incident by now…” Leo started mumbling to himself, so Casey turned his attention to the city around him.
It was still intimidating, for sure, but he was starting to think the walks with Mikey had helped some. The worst part by far were the cars. He couldn’t believe that there were machines that could fly past him at the speed of Krang hounds and that was safe and normal. He had been in the Turtle Tank, sure, but it was a whole other thing to be surrounded by hundreds of them.
They came out of nowhere, stopped suddenly, and everytime he heard a horn… he was over it, man. The only thing keeping him grounded was Leo. The way he moved through the crowds so easily, the ease at which he navigated town, Casey had a hard time believing this was the same world his sensei grew up in. Surely he’d fallen into some stranger alternate universe.
“We’re here!” Leo announced, waving his hand in front of Casey’s face. He blinked. He hadn’t realized he’d spaced out.
“It’s huge!” Casey gasped. It dwarfed every other building on the block, and that was saying something.
“Duh, Big Mama doesn’t do anything that isn’t big,” Leo rolled his eyes. “Speaking of, you do have some idea of how to get to this Synth guy, right? I’m not itching to be making a deal with her.”
Casey folded his hands in front of his chin and gave an empty smile.
“You have no idea what we’re doing, do you?” Leo guessed.
“No…?” Casey lied to nobody.
Leo nodded.
“I’m starting to see some resemblances between each other,” Leo winked. “Let’s go!”
-
Casey had never been in a hotel before, but he was pretty sure they weren't usually bigger on the inside than on the out, nor did he think every bellhop could possibly look exactly the same as one another.
Thankfully, Leo walked in like he owned the place, so all Casey had to do was follow.
Leo made his way up to the front desk, where a fox yokai as desk manager stood at attention.
“Do you have a reservation, gentlemen?” he asked, barely glancing at them.
“We’re here to see Master Synth, my fuzzy friend. Does he have a minute to spare?” Leo announced, his hands on his hips as he gave a confident smile.
The fox sighed and pulled out his radio.
“Synth that turtle from the Kraken fight is back again,” he groaned. “And he’s brought a friend. Says he wants a minute.”
A voice like tin cans dragging on cement answered with a concise “Nah.”
“Nah?” Leo raised his voice.
“Nah,” said the voice again.
The desk manager put his radio away.
“Sorry about that gentlemen, he’s busy.”
“That wasn’t very professional of him! He didn’t even hear what we came here for!”
“I could redirect you to someone else if you let me know what you need,” the desk manager offered, but he was clearly hoping Leo wouldn’t take him up on the offer.
“Do you have anyone else who makes swords? Preferably ones that don’t break under mystic influence?” Leo stuck his hip out to one side.
“All of our weapons manufacturers are contractually obligated to only make weapons for the Nexus,” the fox explained. “You’ll need to take your business elsewhere.”
“A contract? Is there any way we can get him out of it?” Casey asked.
The fox laughed.
“Nobody wants out of a weapons deal with Big Mama,” he sneered. “It’s the most lucrative business in the Hidden City; and Synth’s the best there is. You can’t afford him.”
Leo pouted, and turned away from the counter.
“Fine, we’ll go look elsewhere.”
Casey turned to follow him, but with hesitation. He’d never seen Leo give up this easily. Unless…
When they’d put some distance between themselves and the front desk, Leo gave him his classic mischievous grin.
“You have an idea,” Casey smirked.
“Come on, it’s about time we do some ninja sneakin’ about.”
-
With a little assistance from a briefly unattended laundry bin and a service elevator, the boys quickly found their way to one of the lowest basement levels of the Grand Nexus Hotel.
“You wouldn’t happen to know your way around down here, would you?” Casey asked Leo as he shifted in the bin to pull out his phone.
“I haven’t been this far down before, but I’ve never seen Synth either so I figured he had to be somewhere I haven’t been,” Leo grunted, pulling on a pair of bellhop trousers in the cramped space. As he brought them up, he elbowed Casey in the face.
“Hey, watch it! You know you could just step out of the bin and put that on.”
Leo hopped out and adjusted the bellop's hat atop his head.
“I got a map.”
“A map?” Leo said to the suspicious laundry hamper as the elevator dinged. “How’d you-?”
But the doors were opening and staff were waiting to get on.
Leo quickly pushed the bin out into the hallway, apologizing as the confused staff members scooched around him as best they could. Once the door closed, Casey poked his arm up from under the towels and pointed down the hall.
“That way, and to the left at the end of the hall.”
“Casey, did you hack your way into the Nexus servers?”
“I have my ways,” he whispered. “Trust me.”
Leo could see the faint purple glow of Casey’s phone jostling around as he pushed the cart in the way he was directed. This kid was good.
When he turned the corner, Leo saw that the hall widened out significantly, and that the usual wallpaper and decor gave way to solid stone. The lights overhead became cold white fluorescents. The bin’s wheels bumped over the rubber stop of the end of the carpet and onto worn asbestos floor tiles.
“What are we looking for?” Leo whispered.
“Third door on your right,” Casey whispered back, readjusting himself.
The doors were metal painted in chipped orange paint, and were padlocked shut. Leo guessed 8008, but the lock buzzed red.
“What are you doing?” Casey asked, hearing the noise.
“Do you have a way to unlock the door? I left my purple at home.”
Casey popped his head out and looked at the lock.
“Did you try boob?”
“Of course I did!”
Casey glanced back at his phone. “Huh, that usually works. Give me a minute…”
“WHO’S OUT THERE??”
The boys jumped, and Casey nearly fell out of the laundry bin. It was that awful grating voice from before.
“Uh… room service?” Casey answered, his voice cracking.
“I didn’ order any-” but Synth made the mistake of opening up the door for them, and Leo pushed right on by him to get inside. “-hey!”
Leo looked around the room and whistled in awe.
“Hey hey, this is a pretty sweet shop you got here Synthia, you might make my brother jealous.”
Casey hopped out of the cart and looked around too, and looked just as impressed. There were swords, spears, and all kinds of blades hanging around everywhere. From the ceiling, mounted to the walls, in barrels and crates around the edges of the room, anywhere there was room, there were sharp edges to fill the space. There were a couple workbenches in the back, an anvil, and a massive forge blazing brightly in the otherwise rather dark room.
“You’re that turtle from the front desk!” Synth growled, keeping the door open. “You need to get outta here. You're not welcome!”
He was a short, bobcat-like Yokai, with red fur and cloven feet like a goat. He was shorter than Casey, but Leo guessed he was probably a few years older than himself
At first glance he was afraid this Synth would lack experience, and Casey seemed to be appraising him too; but he appeared excited enough to see the yokai, so it seemed he was exactly the man (or teenager) Master Leonardo had praised to heaven and back for.
Leo rolled his eyes.
“Chill man, we just wanna talk.”
“Yeah, sure,” he rolled his eyes in turn. “An idiot with a kitchen knife in one of his scabbards and nothing in the other only wants to talk.”
“You can tell it’s a kitchen knife?” Leo asked, drawing the sword out.
Synth closed one eye and made a face.
“I’m not takin' commissions,” he asserted.
“Would you please reconsider?” Casey asked, folding his hands.
“Why would I?”
“Because I’m the greatest ninja the world has ever seen,” Leo smirked.
“Yeah,” Casey crossed his arms and stood next to him. “Leonardo’s the greatest swordsman alive.”
Synth’s ear twitched and looked Casey up and down.
“You his pet or somethin’?”
“Pet?!” They both repeated at the same time.
“The kid’s followin' you like a puppy.”
Leo made a face and glanced down at Casey who was standing a little close to him.
Casey inched away.
“He’s my sidekick,” Leo recovered.
“Right… well, I’m sorry, dudes, but I can’t help you with your little situation.”
“Yeah yeah, we heard it all upstairs,” Leo puppeted his free hand. “You got a contract blah blah blah. But I need swords or I can’t ninja!”
“You don’t even have anything to offer!”
“What if you taught him how to make swords?” Casey suggested.
“That’s even worse!” Synth roared. “Do you see my output? I don' have the time nor the energy to waste on teaching some idiot swinging a steak knife around!”
“Hey, this idiot has feelings,” Leo pointed out.
“Wait a minute,” Casey moved over to a stack of crates on one wall.
“Get out!” Synth growled.
Casey pulled out a sword.
“Get your hands off that! I’m calling security!”
Casey gave him a “try me” face.
“No you’re not,” he blew on the surface of the blade and a poof of dust kicked up into the air.
“You’re overstocked. You’re bored as shit.”
Synth’s ear twitched again. Leo wondered if the tic meant anything.
“You…” Synth glared but shut the door. He moved to the back of the workshop, gesturing for them to follow.
Now we were getting somewhere.
Behind his workbench and nearly out of view sat a grindstone. As he approached it whirred to life on its own, as if by magic. Well, it probably was magic. Synth grabbed the nearest blade to him, some wicked looking machete, and started grinding away at its edge.
“They’re always listenin',” he growled quietly, in a voice that was barely audible over the racket he was now making.
“Big Mama?” Casey asked, curious.
Synth nodded. “And others. I’ll be brief. Run of the Mill, 10pm.”
That was brief.
Synth watched Leo, and realized he was waiting for a response.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” he shrugged.
Synth immediately stopped the grindstone and moved to the radio on his workbench.
“Security, I have two idiots lost in the basement. Please extract.”
“Two, devishly handsome idiots,” Leo corrected.
“Devilish,” Casey corrected Leo.
“What he said.”
-
They had almost made it out of the hotel without incident, when it just so happened the crime boss herself was just stepping in through her own front door, a leather lavender clutch in one hand, and her hair tied up in a messy silver bun atop her head. By the dozens of assistants behind her, it appeared she had just returned from some kind of shopping trip.
“Oh! Look who we have here!” Big Mama strutted right up to Leo.
“It’s been a minute, turtley-boo, how was saving the world?” she peered over at him expectantly over her glasses.
“It was… great…” Leo smiled uncomfortably. “I have a son now.”
Big Mama giggled and stole a glance at Casey.
“Ah yes, I saw you on the news. A new friend of the turtles.”
“Casey, this Big Mama. Mama, this is Casey,” Leo really looked like he wanted to take a step back.
“Why so teedly tense?” Mama asked, raising her eyebrows. “I think we’re good friends now, don’t you think? I helped you save the world, you saved the world, which in turn keeps business as usual. You’re always welcome here,” she winked.
Leo didn’t appear convinced.
“So, what brings you here, turtley-boos?”
Casey flinched.
“Oh, Casey’s not a turtle,” Leo corrected her. “He’s a human.”
Mama rolled her eyes.
“Of course, dear, I only meant to be inclusive,” she gave Casey a wicked grin.
“If I had more time, I would love to get to know you, little one. We’re all family here.”
Casey swallowed nervously.
“Yeah, that sounds great.”
“Mama, we were just escorting these two off the premises,” the fox yokai had appeared at her side.
“Ah, that would explain the security,” Big Mama nodded to the musclemen behind Leo and Casey.
“Sneaking around?”
“I- we…” Casey tried to find an explanation, but Big Mama just started giggling good-naturedly.
“Don’t worry your devishily handsome faces, boys,” she assured them. “Mama has a way of finding things out. Enjoy your evening!”
And then she moved past them as if none of that had even happened.
-
“That was beyond weird!” Leo pointed out once they were safely back underground.
“What do we do now?” Casey asked. “It’s clear she knows we’re meeting with Synth this evening.”
“Wait really? How’d you figure that?”
Casey smacked himself in the forehead.
“She mispronounced devilishly just like you did and then told us to have a good time this evening! We’re supposed to meet Synth in the evening!”
"It was evening when we left, Case, I think you're being a little paranoid."
“So should we still go?” Casey asked, crossing his arms as they entered the lair.
“Why not? Are you afraid of Big Mama or something?” Leo threw himself over the back of the couch, his carapace hitting the seat cushion and his legs flopping over onto one side.
“Shouldn’t I be? She’s like, a crime boss isn’t she?”
“Nah…” Leo smirked as he flipped the tv on. “Well yeah, she is. But we can take her.”
“You sound really full of yourself, you know that right?” Casey told the slider, crashing beside him. “Didn’t you say she once trapped the entire city of New York? And she manipulated the Shredder? And she imprisoned Master Splinter for a decade?”
Leo rolled his eyes.
“Ok, you might have a point. I’ll see if Raph and Donnie wanna go with us.”
Casey jumped a bit, but thankfully Leo didn't seem to notice.
“Wait, why not Mikey?”
“He’s going to Draxum’s tonight, and… the whole knife situation.”
“BROKE-ASS NINJA!” the two of them heard Mikey shout from his room.
“Is there something wrong with inviting the others?” Leo asked, lowering his brow.
“No, it’s fine,” Casey settled back into his seat and looked at the tv. “I was just curious.”
"You've been spending a lot of time with Mikey by the way, why is that?"
"You jealous?" Casey smirked.
"What? No! I'm just observing."
"And what have you observed?" Casey kicked his legs up over Leo's.
Leo squinted. Casey gave him a shit eating grin.
"Isn't it rude to have shoes on the couch?"
"You're right, I should take them off."
Casey promptly kicked his shoes off onto the floor and put his feet right back where they had been.
Leo's face scrunched up in horror by the pungent smell.
"That was not what I meant!" he said as he scrambled to sit up right and get away from the offending appendages. Casey couldn't help but crack up laughing as the slider made a series of dramatic and unnecessary gagging noises.
"Jeez dude, do you ever shower?"
"It's not that bad," Casey defended, crossing his legs under him. "You just don't have humans around here enough."
"April's over here all the time!"
"April doesn't count! She doesn't live here!" Casey pointed out.
"Are you saying we need more people living here?"
"No?" Casey pouted, stumped. "Whatever."
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Notes: Teenage boys are gross.
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