All I need in my life is more Lore and Ness. That's it. No water. No air. No food. Nothing. Just sans is ness is matpat is lore.
explodes into a million pieces and the pieces become this drawing. if i wasnt so busy all the time you best BELIEVE i wouldve already plotted out like 9 chapters of a fanfic about them. i have. i have so much ideas its insane
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Could John start hurting himself in trial 3?
TW FOR SELF HARM
So I’ve got a lot of theories for trial 3 and stuff but this is the one I want to talk about first since it was the one that stuck out to me most yet I haven’t seen people talking about the possibility
I actually wrote about this theory quite a while ago which I’ll just link to but I definitely do think it’s very likely but hasn’t been discussed much.
For a brief summary of the post I made it’s a theory on how John may have self harming desires but doesn’t physically hurt himself as he’s afraid of hurting Mikoto. Basically it’s how the reason why Mikoto’s clothes are so tattered is because John has been ripping them apart in another way to harm himself but not physically hurt Mikoto. Heck, there’s very clearly bite marks on the clothes so I highly doubt it was from the fight with Kotoko. And as well as just ripping his clothing it probably explained the breakdowns John is said to have at night especially in that one minigram where Es heard on it and there was a lot of crashing sounds and stuff breaking, even ripping sounds which definitely matches with what I was saying. So John does all of this in a method to self harm as a stress reliever but not physically harm Mikoto.
So here’s the trial 3 theory. As of recently Mikoto has stopped denying John’s existence as everything he’s seen in heard it’s just too much for him to deny anymore. And instead of that he’s began to hate John so much and blame him for every bad thing that’s happened, even going as far to blame him for what happened to Mahiru even though it was very clearly Kotoko’s fault. And with John, he loves Mikoto. Dedicates his entire existence to him and despite all the constant trauma and suffering he’s endured the only thing that keeps him going is the possibility that Mikoto will love him and praise him for saving him.
“Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying?
Cling to me, hoist me up as your "savior", stand up and sing out your gratitude, that'd be good.”
Judging by these lyrics, it seems John is somewhat aware that Mikoto is denying his help but still wants to believe it. Even Neoplasm he says how Mikoto’s entrusting him with his heart, which can either be he doesn’t fully know about the hatred or is denying it. But what I’m really worried about is how much Mikoto loathes John in trial 3 and what he could do.
As I said earlier John dedicates his existence to Mikoto and I couldn’t explain how John may feel after he would realise his hatred for Mikoto aside from his entire existence being denied. I already discussed this in another theory but for John to so deeply love Mikoto and dedicates everything to protecting him and only holding on with the possibility of approval and being told he did a good job, only to be met with unimaginable hatred from the person who he idealises as someone who could never hate anyone must be devastating on so many levels for John and… you can tell where I’m getting at here.
So what would happen next? Could perhaps John feel so betrayed by Mikoto that he could go to actually physically hurting himself out of conflicting feelings around Mikoto? Loving him like that but feeling so betrayed and hurt that he just tries not to care about Mikoto any more and harms himself out of both previously established coping mechanisms and spite?
It’s hard to tell here, as John is one of those characters who it’s very hard to predict what would happen next so who knows what he might do. I just believe this may be the most likely based off things that have been implied and established.
And just to address a potential elephant in the room is I highly doubt John would disappear in trial 3. That’s not how it works, and just because Mikoto may not be Guilty any more doesn’t mean he would be relieved from all stress so John definitely would still have his purpose. And I think it’s most likely why John claimed that he would disappear was that he believed Es hated him and wanted him gone, so he claimed that he would disappear if Mikoto were to be voted Innocent as a way to sway Es to that verdict. And there are lines such as “I’ll play dead even if I’m alive right?” And “can’t get rid of me now” that definitely imply that he will stay or perhaps pretend to go dormant which perhaps would be interesting as we’ve seen him masking as Mikoto in the minigrams before so it would be interesting if he does that in trial 3 perhaps. And side note even though this is kinda cheating theory wise but it would be stupid to remove John from the story like that so uhhh.
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Speaking of Ferdiego since it got brought up, I really really really hope if we get SBR anime (lol “if” more like “when”) it will reinvigorate my desire to finish the long fic I was writing about them. OR I was thinking it would be cool to do a rewrite of it bc the og was in first person (yes, I don’t know what I was thinking lol, I thought it would be easier to get dinosaur Diego’s thoughts across if it was from his POV and like tbh I re-read it not long ago and didn’t hate it? But it would be nice to just try a fresh start with it in third person too). Idk. I miss that story and have been thinking about it again recently and kind of want to lean in harder to the creepiness of it all.
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brief pt2 spoilers, but i was thinking about the first few chs of pt2 again. partly cuz whenever i rmbr "the wizards transformed into girls one time & kids another time cuz they dislike vincent" it makes me laugh. i saw fanart of akira w kid!wizards and went haha thats cute, then i read the chapter. u can imagine my surprise
but it always gets me thinking about the following conversation of 'the wizards will behave this time right' 'uhhhhh......probably...?' 'sir sage they Have to behave' 'well if vincent was nice to them theyd be nice back...' + how those chs especially was very..."these ppl thinks akira can control the wizards" (not only the ppl akira ends up speaking directly with, but also general ppl w power that akira cant reach), when akira (multiple times) has reiterated how while they do wish the northern wizards could get along they realize they have their own experiences and cant force them to do something (+feeling somewhat bad they have to live at the manor together). they dont want to do that already, but they also realize that ummm good luck with that frankly. so it just ends up like a lil "haha u sure do think so" to me whenever its brought up ppl r worried "who" has the power of oz & mithra, when its like......ya they do go along with things akira asks of them (more so in the case of oz), but those have always been relatively smaller scale things?! + if the command line went someone -> akira -> oz/mithra i dont think theyd like that either LOLT_T (disregarding the topic of the sages books and symphony) its very much the. akira treating them like friends rather than some ulterior motive of making them do their bidding
->cue brads sages heart ch. they listen to the sages heart. which in turn makes me think again of those concepts where the last fight with the moon didnt go that badly->no one has a reason to stay together at the manor->akira probably only befriends the ppl there+arthur. like at the end of the day (to me !) it feels very, Because the situation is what it is, and Because akira takes care to listen to them, they end up building that trust. its all about love !!!!!! (akira nvr orders anyone either its always a question......
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